Harry Potter & 'The Passion Year' Memoirs
by SongOfStars
Summary: Starts at POA (AU)/partly Marauders Era. While exploring the Map's layout of Hogwarts, Harry finds a secret room in which a collection of memoirs written by James Potter were left. Reading it, Harry discovers that Sirius is innocent but has no idea how to prove it without exposing a dark secret of his father's past. S/J with eventual J/L & S/R. AU but based on canon.
1. Chapter 1

**Harry Potter &amp; 'The Passion Year' Memoirs**

**Disclaimers: **I don't own anything….yeah, I'll let yalls keep thinking that! MWAHAHA

**AN: NOT PART OF THE 'LEGACY' SERIES! **

**Set partly during the POA but as an AU &amp; partly the Marauders Era**

**Contains S/J, then traditional pairings of S/R/T &amp; J/L**

Well this popped into my dreams which is very weird since I have never considered this pairing. Anyhow, due to the rules, the rating may say T but it is actually an M. I still don't understand why fanfiction net doesn't allow M stories yet has the rating in the choices!

This is sort of slash Sirius/James &amp; later Sirius/Remus.

Sort of as in the S/J part is an experiment. (Both for them &amp; for me lol)

_**PLEASE READ THE FIRST PARAGRAPH OF MY PROFILE BEFORE READING THIS STORY. THANKS! : )**_

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**Summary: **Starts at POA (slight AU)/partly Marauders Era. While exploring the Map's layout of Hogwarts, Harry finds a secret room in which a collection of memoirs written by James Potter were left. Reading it, Harry discovers that Sirius is innocent but has no idea how to prove it without exposing a dark secret of his father's past. AU but based on canon.

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(Remember: read the first paragraph of my profile before continuing. Thanks.)

**(1) The Lost Secret**

"Hermione, your cat killed him!"

"NO HE DIDN'T!"

Harry shook his head, watching his two best friends have yet another row. They have never fought so badly before &amp; he wondered if it would all fall apart. Hermione was cuddling Crookshanks close, Ron was brandishing his wand at the cat but didn't dare cast a spell, knowing Hermione was better at magic than Ron &amp; Harry combined, while Harry did his best to become invisible.

In fact, he decided to do just that. He was tired of hearing them fight &amp; tired of trying to help them patch things up. It was nearly Christmas, but they still continued to fight. Both were too mad at each other to pay Harry Potter any mind.

"I'm just gonna go, uh, ya know," Harry stopped trying. They didn't hear him. He turned on his heel &amp; went up the stairs to the boys' dorms to get his Cloak &amp; the Map the Weasley twins had given him earlier to sneak into Hogsmeade. The Map was his most fascinating possession yet. Harry had no idea who Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot &amp; Prongs were, but if they were good enough for the Weasley twins who have been using the Map for years without harm, it was good enough for Harry if only to avoid the war between Hermione &amp; Ron.

Harry stepped out of the Common Room under cloak ("IT'S A CAT, RONALD!"/"I DON'T CARE!") &amp; hurried away to the Grand Staircase. The entire castle was decorated from turret to moat in Christmas festivities but Harry didn't take too much notice of them. He went down to the fifth floor &amp; passed several tapestries to a bookcase in one corner of a small alcove, next to a few armchairs. Behind that bookcase was a hidden passage that was a shortcut down to the dungeons. Harry came out near where the Slytherin blank wall was, turned left away from it &amp; went behind another tapestry. Here, the Map had shown three different passage ways all leading beyond Slytherin's borders &amp; into the belly of the ancient castle. He finally took the cloak off &amp; folded it up as small as possible to stuff under his robes, then entered the main doorway after using 'diffindo' on the tapestry. If one merely lifted the tapestry over, it would show a brick wall. Cutting it loose opened the hole. The moment Harry passed into the tunnel, the tapestry became whole once more &amp; the false brick wall returned. Harry glanced down the tunnels, wandlight held aloft.

Trying the one on the left, he was blocked halfway in by an old cave-in. Harry turned back &amp; went down the one on the right. It opened into a large circular room that looked like a cathedral. The stone floor had an actual stream going through its center &amp; a wide stone bridge arched over it. The stream ran underground towards the Black Lake. The far end had a hall that led to a small door which opened to the outside on a long forgotten sandy shore of the lake. Harry watched the giant squid dive before turning back &amp; taking the main route down the center.

After nearly twenty minutes of walking straight without any new openings, it apparently stopped at a dead end. Checking the Map, Harry saw that a room was supposed to be just beyond the wall. The Map didn't tell him how to get through. Harry stared at it, thinking. He checked the Map once more, but it remained mute on the subject. He wondered if the wall had been built in later. Harry tried to give it a shove, just to be sure, only to end up falling right through.

A cloud of dust rose up where Harry's head had been as he fell flat on his face. He stood up, cursing the Marauders for not putting in a warning, fixed his glasses &amp; put them back on his face, then brushed himself off. Glancing back, Harry could see the wall he had just walked through. Oh well, at least he'll know to just walk through as if it wasn't there, just like at Platform 9 &amp; ¾'s.

Harry coughed on the dust as he waited a few moments for it to settle, then looked around. It was a triangular shaped room that had a small torch in each corner that flared into life in his presence. The small glows from each torch were aimed up the corners to the ceiling &amp; cast a circular light around the area, leaving the tips of each corner slightly darkened by shadows. There were two couches along each side of the triangle, with the false wall for the base of the shape. Between them was one long table from the false wall to the farthest tip with carvings on each leg &amp; a pile of old papers on the top, covered with several layers of dust.

Harry read the carvings on the table legs facing him. Prongs. Padfoot. Walking around to the other end of the table, the leg in line with Padfoot was named Moony &amp; the one across from it was Wormtail. Harry looked at the false wall again. "Who are you people?" He asked no one in particular. Perhaps they had been students here, or teachers. Or maybe students that had become teachers. How long ago were they? Was any one of them still alive? Harry knew he would probably never get those answers but he couldn't help but wonder at them.

He blew the dust off the papers sitting in the center of the table. They were bound together with strips of black leather to form a sort of book. Harry was looking at the title upside-down. He turned it the right way as he read it.

'_**The Passion Year'**_

It was etched in large golden letters, starting from the top left-hand corner &amp; going diagonally down to the bottom right-hand corner.

Harry blinked. Could it be? Was this something else left behind by the Marauders? Would he find answers to his questions with this? He read the title again &amp; then pulled over the first page which was the cover. It crackled as he gently pushed it over the binds of old leather until it lay more or less flat so that it was like an open book. The parchment was definitely old &amp; yellowed. He looked down on the next page.

* * *

1977

It is my 6th year at Hogwarts. I am surprised I made it here alive &amp; in one piece. I was nearly killed a couple months ago by a horrible excuse of a life who just happens to be the father of one of my best friends. In fact, if it weren't for the best friend now, I would have probably committed suicide. I already have two scars on my left wrist from an attempt.

This was supposed to be the best year of my life. It is, thanks to Padfoot—

* * *

Harry stared at the name. So it was part of the Marauders history! The year was 1977 so it wasn't all that long ago. He did a quick mental calculation in his head. "Oh my God!" He redid the calculations. His father would have been in 6th year in 1977! Would he have known the Marauders? An even more crazy idea; would he have been one of them? Harry bent over the pages again.

* * *

—Padfoot, but it was also my worst. Though my beloved Padfoot is helping me through this mess of my life, I feel that I must channel my anger &amp; hurt somewhere, so I'm writing this out. I hope no one reads it. I'll probably burn it after.

* * *

Harry stopped reading &amp; looked around, feeling guilty. If this wasn't meant to be read, then should he continue? He told himself that the parchments were never burned. They were right here. Maybe the writer had changed his mind. He stared at the page, heart racing. What if his father was in here? He thought long &amp; hard, justified his decision that he was only looking for anything about his father &amp; pulled an edge of one couch over so he could sit down to read.

* * *

To this day, I have told no one of what happened last summer. The only reason Padfoot knows is because he was forced to witness my ordeal.

I'm still hurting from it now &amp; I probably always will. I feel a rage within me that I can not control if I ever see that horrible man again. The only thing keeping me sane is finding what solitude I can when writing &amp; the support of my closest friend.

These are my memoirs of that fateful year. My name is James Prongs Potter—

* * *

Harry's mouth fell open. His father—HIS FATHER!—wrote this! Hardly had that thought crossed his mind when he realised, his father...was Prongs! He reread that bit before going on, only to receive not one but two more shocks.

* * *

—&amp; I was cruelly raped by Orion Black.

* * *

With a shout of anguished surprise, Harry raised his head to stare at the opposite wall. What the hell did he just read? What the bloody hell was that? He stared at the wall for several long moments until he gasped for a much needed breath. He hadn't realised that he wasn't breathing. Harry took off his glasses with one hand &amp; held his face with the other. He put one hand over his nose while closing his eyes, processing that. His father was Prongs. A Marauder. Raped. Raped? By a Black.

Hands clenched to his sides, Harry jumped to his feet &amp; began pacing. He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. He was furious! He stood over the memoirs again &amp; stared at that line. "Man, you just weren't lucky with that Black family, were you? Father hurts you. Son murders you!" He went back to pacing, passing one hand through his messy hair.

Harry suddenly realised why the memoirs weren't supposed to be read. He wished he could forget what he had read so far. Whatever James—his father—had felt, Harry didn't even kid himself to try &amp; imagine.

Gritting his teeth, Harry marched through the false wall into the long forgotten corridor. After going a few steps, he fell to his knees, feeling he would be sick. He wasn't after all, but had come close. Harry leaned against the wall, feeling the cold stone against his cheek. He realised that he was burning with anger. "Is this the rage you were talking about, Dad?" Harry whispered to the darkness. He sat there, feeling the coolness, allowing it to bring his temperature down. He suddenly wondered if his mother ever found out. Harry suddenly gasped again, unclenching his jaw. It hurt! He had ground his teeth so tightly together that it was hard to open his mouth even a little to breathe.

After several minutes, Harry stood up &amp; pulled out his wand. "Lumos." He began walking down the hall away from that room. When the tapestry was in front of him, Harry pointed his wand to cut himself out but the spell never came. He stood there, staring at the back of the tapestry which looked like a brick wall, but couldn't bring himself to cut it down. He looked back down the tunnel. The memoirs were never burned. They were still back there. His father was long dead. What would it matter? It wasn't like Harry was planning to broadcast to the whole world what had happened to James Potter during his 6th year. It was all he had of his dad besides an old Map &amp; the cloak. Harry suddenly turned tail &amp; ran pell-mell down the tunnel. He didn't even slow down when he reached the false wall but ploughed right on through.

Harry gently picked up the pages of his father's memoirs. The binding cracked in protest from being held after so long. The pages flaked a little. He put it under one arm &amp; pulled out the cloak with the other. Running back to the tapestry, he put the cloak on &amp; finally cut himself out. He headed straight for the Gryffindor Tower. As soon as he was inside the portrait, Harry took off the cloak &amp; wrapped the memoirs inside it, then put the whole thing under his robes.

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed. "Where have you been? We've been looking for you for almost four hours!"

"Just wandering about the castle," Harry shrugged. Now that he didn't want the attention of his friends, it seemed like he would be unable to get rid of them any time soon.

Ron stood close behind Hermione. "You off using that Map again?"

Hermione glared at Harry. "You shouldn't be doing that. What if you run into Sirius Black?"

"Well funny thing about the Map, Hermione," Harry snapped. "The names appear on it. I'd see him coming."

Hermione stared at him. She held out her hand. "Give me that Map!"

"Hermione!" Harry's teeth were gritted so hard they nearly cracked. "I have a nasty headache right now. I'm going upstairs to bed. I don't want to argue with you or anyone else about that Map right now!" At that, he shoved past both of them &amp; marched upstairs.

Harry felt bad for shouting at her. He wasn't mad at her. She didn't hurt his father (or kill him, for that matter). But he was so infuriated that he couldn't help himself. "A rage I can not control." Isn't that what his father had said? Harry wasn't even the victim here, yet he was mad. How much more so was the fury of his father? The fury of ...Prongs? What did Prongs even mean?

Harry dropped the cloak still covering the pages James Potter had touched, into his trunk, slammed it shut, kicked it, cursed for the pain in his foot &amp; then sat himself on his bed. Harry folded his hands in front of him &amp; leaned his head over his knees. That last line kept echoing in his head &amp; it was giving him a headache.

He didn't know how long he had stayed like that. He heard an owl hoot, but didn't look up to see if it was Hedwig or someone else. His mind was too stuck on that line.

_These are my memoirs of that fateful year. My name is James Prongs Potter &amp; I was cruelly raped by Orion Black._

"Harry?" Ron poked his shoulder. Harry just shook his head, not looking anywhere. "Um, Hermione went to the hospital wing. She said to give you this. For your headache, you know." A vial was shoved under Harry's nose. He finally sat up, glaring at it. No magic potion or muggle cure would ever fix this headache. Not this time. But Ron was looking scared. They stared at each other. Then Harry knew why Ron was apprehensive around him. He was afraid of setting Harry off on another shouting spree when he noticed Harry was still upset. "Harry …your eyes." Ron made a motion around his eyes.

Harry wiped his face only to find a few tears on his hands. "It really hurts." He took the vial &amp; swallowed it in one shot.

"Ok," Ron sighed. "G'night."

"Night," Harry lay down on his bed &amp; pulled the rope for the curtains to close. He heard Ron leave. He waited a few minutes, then got up &amp; pulled out the memoirs. He took them to bed with him &amp; began to read.

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(If you still haven't read my first paragraph in my profile _**READ IT **__**NOW**__**!**_ Thanks so much!)


	2. Chapter 2

**(2) A Stag's Heart**

Harry took great care to prise open the next page &amp; he read well into the night. Finally, after all these years, someone was giving him clear answers about his father. Funny thing was, such answers were coming from his father, from beyond the grave. The problem was, it was nothing to what he had expected. Wondering if he should even read this, yet yearning to connect with his father, Harry was soon lost within the pages of a time forgotten.

* * *

So there you have it. I was raped. I admit it. Satisfied? My cousin, who lived close by to me, &amp; I had gone to my home for that last week of summer. It was just after the last full moon of that summer when Moony went to Canada with his father for a few days to help him work on expelling some poltergeists that had inhabited someone's home. That is pretty much where this mess started, so I'll take it from here. I remember it in vivid detail unfortunately. There is a lake behind my house. The weather was hot so after we had cast a Concealment Charm (my parents are both Aurors so tehehe) on both of our Spirit tattoos (it would barely last a day), Sirius &amp; I hit the water to cool off.

* * *

Harry stared. Sirius &amp; cousin? What? Was this Sirius Black? Was he, Harry, related…TO SIRIUS BLACK? With a yelp, Harry tossed the pages to the end of his bed &amp; scooted backwards away from them. He clutched a pillow to his chest &amp; eyed the pages as if they might spring to life &amp; kill him. These writings were causing more questions than answers. After several minutes, Harry picked them up again to continue reading. He was reading for his father's sake. That was all.

"What's a Spirit tattoo?"

* * *

"Oh come on Siri!" I snickered. "I dare you!"

"Don't care!" Sirius pouted, crossing his arms &amp; putting his nose in the air. "I'm not doing that."

"You're going to go skinny dipping if it's the last thing you do!"

"I will if Remus does."

"Remus has a lot of scars," I pointed out. "So he's exempt."

* * *

Harry paused. Remus. As in Professor Lupin? Was this the same one? He did have a few scars on his face. Good Merlin, had he been raped to? Or attacked some other way?

* * *

"Whatever," Sirius complained.

"There you are!"

Sirius &amp; I both jumped to our feet. Orion Black was walking towards us, focusing on Sirius. "What do you want?" I asked.

"Sirius is being very naughty," a woman's voice sounded behind me. I whirled around only to come face to face with another more distant cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange. "He needs to be taught a lesson." I fumbled for my wand but it was too late. She had grabbed me by the hair &amp; whirled me around by pinning my wand arm behind my back so hard &amp; fast that it hurt. I felt her wand at my throat &amp; noticed Sirius was in a similar predicament under his father's grip.

We were whizzed away by side-along apparition &amp; ended up in what could only be Sirius's home. I had never been here. Despite being family &amp; pureblood, us Potters &amp; Blacks couldn't be any more different than if we were bred on different worlds. Blacks hated anything impure. Remus was a mudblood to them…&amp; worse if they ever found out his condition. My side of the family were considered blood traitors &amp; were to be cast out. Like any of us Potters cared. Sirius was the white sheep of the Black family which was why he spent most of his time at my place instead of his own.

The moment we hit the black marble floor of the foyer at the base of the main staircase, Orion threw Sirius down to the floor. Sirius made hardly any sound. He was used to the beatings. His father was horrible sober &amp; demonic drunk. I smelled a lot of liquor. This would be bad. "Where were you three days ago?"

"Up your arse! Where else would I be?" Sirius retorted. Idiot! Does he never learn?

His father kicked him so hard in the side, Sirius was actually flipped over. I struggled to try to help but Bellatrix pushed her wand against my developing Adam's apple. Bloody hurt like hell. "You were in France, weren't you?"

Sirius rolled over on hands &amp; knees. "So what?"

"Hanging out with that mudblood Lupin again, weren't you?"

"Don't call him that!" Sirius &amp; I snarled at the same time. I meanwhile, felt a panic. That was the full moon three days ago. If they knew Remus was a werewolf—

* * *

"AHHH!" Harry flung the pages aside &amp; sat bolt upright in bed. Wait, if that Remus Lupin was his Professor Remus Lupin ...who disappeared regularly &amp; claimed some great ill...illness...then…ok, he was a werewolf. He could only be Moony. Named...Moony? Harry blinked, then let out another screech. He now had two Marauders, one of them was his Professor. It was looking more like they were close friends than mere acquaintances. Yet Lupin had never offered any information on James Potter. In fact, it was nearly impossible to wrangle anything out of that Professor, not even if you beat him over the head with chocolate. Harry punched his bed, feeling angry at Lupin. Why was that Professor wasting time instead of talking to him? Or did Lupin not like Harry?

Thinking back to the few times he had questioned Professor Lupin about Black or his father, Harry realised that the answers were meant to evade. "Damn you! Why won't you talk to me then?" His next thought was to confront Lupin when they would start on the Anti-Dementor Charm after the holidays. Then he cast the idea aside. If Lupin was a werewolf, it was best not to confront him. Ever. His father knew him, knew his condition, yet was still friends with him. So Lupin couldn't be all that bad. Still didn't explain why he wasn't speaking.

* * *

If they knew Remus was a werewolf, they would slaughter him!

"You were supposed to be HERE, Sirius!" His father was bellowing. "Your wedding day, remember? You've been engaged to her since you were three months old."

"Yeah &amp; that bitch is pureblood filth!" Sirius spat.

"Sirius!" I warned. Merlin's sake why was he such an idiot? His father kicked him on the chest, knocking the breath from his lungs. Bellatrix yanked my hair in order to keep me quiet. I could feel the great Stag within me screaming to burst out, but I shoved Prongs aside. It would only expose Remus &amp; get me tossed in Azkaban for one year for I was an illegal Animagus.

* * *

"That's IT!" Harry put the memoirs on his nightstand &amp; held up his hands "I'm done. I'm done! I'm putting it away." Prongs. James Potter. An illegal Animagus? Harry thought back to Professor McGonagall &amp; how she could turn into a Cat. His father …could turn into a Stag? Harry checked around outside his curtains but everyone was fast asleep. He had set up a silencing charm Hermione had taught him before reading to block out the cracking of pages. Now he was grateful it blocked his outbursts as well. He took a few moments to absorb that new information, then with a stubborn slap to his bedcovers, he snatched the parchments back &amp; continued to read.

* * *

I learned the Stag late into my 4th year. We all learned Animagic when we figured out Remus was a werewolf. The four of us were able to form a pack every full moon. We're all illegal, even Remus. Though Dumbledore is taking care of him, no werewolf was ever supposed to get an education. Remus is the first.

My rack was now a 16-point spread, a fine hunter's prize. I could have gouged these monsters before they blinked but a Marauder's ultimate duty is to protect their werewolf. Prongs submerged, displeased.

"I know what you do at Hogwarts," his father ranted. 'Every single mudblood girl has given their virginity over to you! If I ever find out you have produced children with them—"

"I know safe sex!" Sirius snapped. I rolled my eyes. I've walked in on that idiot's mating habits more times than I care to count.

"Something about this is amusing, James?" Orion was now glaring at me. Damn it. Had I been smiling? Oh damn! I'm in trouble. I felt my hair rise &amp; I think so did Bellatrix since she made a noise of surprise &amp; looked at me weird. I shook my head violently, forcing my horns back in. It was a good thing my hair was messy. The first points sprouting up weren't visible.

But the entire Stag bursting out would be. "Quit it, Prongs," I whispered. "Yes," I said. "So?"

Orion advanced on me. "You blood traitors don't care!"

"Nope," I smiled softly, knowing I was doomed. I was already psyching myself up for a long bout with Crucio.

"I've tried everything to get Sirius in line!" Orion snarled as he came to stand nearly nose to nose with me. "He never listens. He associates with mudbloods. Sleeps with them. Now he's skipped his own wedding. You know how hard it is to undo a magical bind like that? Yet he runs around with mudblood women!"

"Mhm &amp; having a marvellous time!" I said, waiting for the torture spell to hit.

His hand hit my head instead. I would have been thrown sideways if it weren't for Bellatrix holding me up. My glasses clattered to the floor. "Don't you dare sass me!" He stepped purposely on my glasses, smashing them. No matter, since that stupid werewolf loves chewing on them, I have like a bazillion more at home. I can't repair them with magic since the werewolf venom interferes, so I have plenty of spares. Overgrown puppy! I just smiled wider at the thought. I was already screwed so what did it matter?

"Leave him alone!" Sirius screamed. He got up to charge at his father.

"Kreacher! Hold him!" Orion pointed at Sirius. The demented house elf lifted a finger &amp; Sirius was rooted to the spot. Orion turned back to me. "You know, you are family unfortunately. You're the one leading Sirius astray. It's high time you were taught some manners."

I licked blood off my lips. "Why thank you."

An odd sort of look crossed the vile man's eyes. This was it. I braced myself for the curse to come. "COME HERE!" Orion snarled, snatching me from Bellatrix's hands &amp; throwing me onto the stairs.

As I was only wearing swim shorts, the rest happened to fast for me to blink. I hit the stairs; their sharp edges gouging my chest in a few areas. I flipped onto my back to stand up but wasn't fast enough. Sirius &amp; Orion were both screaming. Prongs pranced wildly within my heart. I was so glad we had both thought to put Concealments over our tattoos at that moment.

Orion was suddenly on me, his hands around my throat. "I'll teach you a lesson in proper behaviour! Pureblood to pureblood."

"DAD NO!"

I had an abrupt feeling of being exposed. I was suddenly feeling the edges of stairs digging into my chest again. Orion slammed into me &amp; I scr—

* * *

Harry closed his eyes &amp; laid the thing aside. He wasn't expecting his father to actually go into details. He faceplanted into the pillow &amp; dug both hands into his hair. Maybe he should follow his father's advice. Maybe he shouldn't read on. Or perhaps, skip that section &amp; see if he couldn't pick up the other Marauders. Or perhaps, skip that section &amp; read it later if he felt like it. He flipped over onto his back, then sat up.

Or should he read it now &amp; get it over with? His father went through it! Harry sat still for half an hour, contemplating on how to proceed. He touched the parchments, feeling their age. One leather loop was ripped. The thing was falling apart from being left in the dust &amp; air for nearly twenty years. Harry knew then that if he skipped ahead, there was no going back. So, should he skip it, ignoring his father's pain which he had seemed so desperately to try &amp; heal or should he read on, gaining an understanding of that pain?

Wait, WHY didn't he use Prongs?

Harry let out a low growl fit for a grumbling werewolf. He would have to read it all to figure that one out. Sure, protect the werewolf…but if something this drastic happened, why wouldn't one protect oneself? Jaws set, he picked the memoirs up once more.

* * *

Orion slammed into me &amp; I screamed. My God it hurt! No no no! This was not how I was to lose my virginity! It was supposed to be for Lily! I've been moping over that girl since I was eleven! Not this! Sirius was screaming but I forced myself to concentrate on Prongs. The Stag wanted to come out but I couldn't let it. The man inside me right now? Professional werewolf hunter. I wouldn't let him anywhere near Remus! He was MY werewolf!

I suddenly felt Bellatrix at my head. She wrenched me up by the hair &amp; I lost touch with Prongs. Please don't come out! Sirius wasn't helping. I knew he was held in place by that house elf, but he kept screaming at me, "CHANGE! JAMES PLEASE CHANGE!"

"I CAN'T!" I somehow managed to scream back the moment before I figured out why Bellatrix had pulled me up. She had grabbed my full length in her hands &amp; was now dragging her nails along it, leaving cuts. I gritted my teeth half against the pain &amp; half against that damn Stag. No Prongs! You'll kill Remus! It felt as if my head would split in two. My rack was demanding to burst forth. I forced it down.

I began to feel pressure building up in what was supposed to be Lily's gift. My body was giving in to the sexual demands it was being forced to give. I grabbed at a pole in the banister &amp; tried to stop it. I pulled myself hard up the stairs, trying to get away. Orion wrenched me back &amp; the pole I was holding onto snapped. Then Bellatrix went under me &amp; replaced her hands with her mouth instead. She would actually bite me a few times. The next moment, I felt myself give in to what my body demanded but my mind rejected. Lily! I thought of her.

When a Stag is in trouble, it would bugle for help, a long piercing whistle. Though in human form, I felt that call coming on. I bit into my arm, letting at an involuntary squeal as I went over. Ignoring my first &amp; possibly only orgasm, I thought of Lily, wishing I was with her. Not this beast. I knew then I could never touch Lily or anyone else. It had all been taken from me &amp; I was not free to give. I punched the stair I was spread upon with one hand as the pleasure high finished &amp; Bellatrix released me. I hate her!

Orion left me. Bellatrix yanked me aside, again by the hair. It's amazing I kept my rack down this long. The stairs hit my side &amp; then my back. I sat up only for a nanosecond. Yelling in a fresh wave of pain, I went back to my side, putting my face to the cold marble stairs as I panted &amp; sobbed between painful protesting jabs in my entire body.

I couldn't believe what had just happened. I lay still, trying to catch my breath, feeling blood drip from my chest &amp; inside my legs. I closed my eyes, wishing I could die.


	3. Chapter 3

**(3) The Promise**

Harry couldn't sleep that night. He had put the memoirs under his pillow after reading that. He didn't know who this Bellatrix was, or Orion, but he knew he hated them both more than even Sirius Black right now. In fact, for once Sirius was exempt from it all. Since he was being held in place by a house elf, Harry didn't blame him for not helping his father. He simply couldn't. Harry had witnessed house elf power several times before. Once they worked their magic, you were screwed.

Crying softly, he turned on his side, trying to sleep, knowing he wouldn't for a very long time. Had Professor Lupin been worth it? James seems to have thought so. But then again, Harry didn't know much about Lupin &amp; well, who's fault was that? A horrid thought entered his mind. Did Lupin know of this? Maybe that was why he didn't speak of James. Maybe he had been trying to keep Harry in the dark about this, only to have Harry himself stumble upon the written works of James Potter. Well, that would be understandable. Sort of.

Harry lay flat on his back, watching the light come in. Finally giving up on sleep, he sat up &amp; buried the pages of James Potter in his trunk under the cloak &amp; several other things, Bleary-eyed &amp; out of sorts, Harry went down to the common room. He was the first one out to go down to breakfast; though, he knew it would be a while before he could eat anything. He sat at the table poking at his food. Looking up at the High Table, he saw Lupin &amp; Sprout both snickering at something or other they had been talking about.

Harry turned back to his cold food. Hermione was looking at him, worrying. "Are you alright Harry?"

"I think that headache's turned into a head cold," Harry muttered.

"Perhaps you ought to go to the hospital wing," Ron said.

"Maybe," Harry shrugged. Hospital couldn't fix this!

But he had no interest in going to any of the classes. He couldn't concentrate on them. Yet, he dragged himself from class to class somehow. It wasn't until the Defence Against The Dark Arts that Harry paid much attention. Not to the lesson but to the Professor. Harry sat in the back row &amp; watched the lesson go by in a daze. His eyes focused mostly on Lupin. Was that truly a werewolf standing there? He certainly wasn't a vicious slavering monstrosity. Was he truly worth the price of stolen virginity though? Did he even know?

Despite the questions running around in his head, Harry knew that Lupin had been the best Professor so far that this school had. If only he could take over Potions. That would be great. Lupin seemed to have a way with the children, even some of the Slytherins. Then it dawned on Harry. He didn't know much about wolves but it was a well-known fact that wolves loved puppies. "Oh great," Harry muttered aloud, suddenly smirking for the first time since last night. Oh well, better to be viewed as puppies than food.

"Harry, can I have a word?"

Puppy. I'm a puppy, not food. Harry back-stepped from the door &amp; sat down at the desk he had been at throughout the whole lesson while the rest of class filed out. Draco Malfoy was among them. "OOO, spot of trouble eh Potter?"

"No bullying in this class! Thirty points from Slytherin," Lupin raised a brow at the blond. Draco glowered but said no more as he left.

"I've been meaning to dock points from him for ages," Lupin said as he sat down backwards in the desk in front of Harry so that they were facing each other. "Now, what's wrong with you? You don't look well."

"I just didn't sleep last night," Harry shrugged, yawning.

"Hermione says you had a bad headache last night," said Lupin. "Why don't you go to the hospital wing?"

"Nah, I'll be fine," Harry suddenly remembered what his father had said about this creature chewing on glasses. He promptly took them off &amp; squinting, noticed that Remus had cast a lingering glance down to them.

"Harry, I know a thing or two about illness," Lupin finally looked up at him. "I'm extremely ill myself as you may know. I can be wiped out in one night &amp; then spend the next few days recovering." He leaned forward a little &amp; took a piece of parchment off Harry's desk. "You look like you've been put through hell in a very short time." He began writing something. "Now, this is a note. You get the rest of the day off. Try to get some sleep." He handed it over. "You're too stubborn for your own good at times."

"Thanks," Harry gave up. "I just might do that." He stood up. "Professor, was my father ever stubborn when he got sick?"

"No, he was the whiniest baby ever," Lupin smiled. "But your mother was the stubborn one. Especially when she was pregnant with you. Ho man! Don't get me started!" Harry stared at him. "Ah that's Lily looking back at me." Lupin stood up. "Now, off you go."

"You'll have to tell about that sometime," Harry said &amp; they both laughed. Harry stood up. "Professor, do you know who Orion Black is?"

Lupin's face went blank. "He was the father of Sirius Black."

"Was?"

"He's dead now," Lupin stated simply. "Long time ago." Harry unexpectedly felt a wave of relief so profound that he wavered on his feet. The one who had hurt his father so much was dead. "HARRY!" Lupin grabbed him &amp; pushed Harry into the nearest chair. "Take a moment, then I'm bringing you to Pomfrey."

"I'll be fine," Harry said.

"Listen here, Lily!" Lupin half-smirked at the jest before going on. "You're going &amp; that's final. Please don't make me take points from my own House! McGonagall would never forgive me."

"I'd much rather go to bed," Harry said. Pomfrey couldn't help him.

"Harold James Evans-Potter, you will do as I say!"

"Yes, yes &amp; you told me to get some sleep so that's what I'll do."

Lupin closed his eyes in annoyance. "Fine! Sleep today but if you're still out of it tomorrow I will personally flip you over my shoulder &amp; carry you to the hospital wing, fireman style. Don't think I won't! I did it to your father once, during our 6th year."

"Alright," Harry gulped, wondering if his father had added that detail to his Passion Year journal. He stood up again. "One more thing, do you know who Bellatrix Lestrange is?"

Lupin's jaw ticked. "Where are you getting these names from?"

"I've heard people whispering some names," Harry shrugged.

Lupin rolled his eyes. "I guess the whole school is talking about Death Eaters since we have one on the loose right now." He sighed heavily. "She's one of Voldemort's main Death Eaters, probably right up there with Sirius Black. However unlike Black, she at least is still in Azkaban."

"She is?"

"Yes," said Lupin. "In fact, I myself helped put her there."

"Wow," Harry stared off into the past for a moment. It was no less than what she deserved for her help in that rape!

Lupin dug around in a pocket &amp; produced a bar of chocolate. "Found this today. It's a new one. Had to try it." The wrapper said Peppermint Dragon on it. He gave a piece to Harry, then had a piece for himself. "OOO! Damn!" He turned away, stamping his heel. "Baby, that's got some kick! Whoo! Careful Harry! Should have known what with the word Dragon on it."

Harry wisely pocketed his piece, snickering. Professor Lupin was certainly one of a kind. He turned &amp; headed for the door. "Thank you," he said as he left. Lupin took it to mean for the chocolate, but Harry was actually thinking about Bellatrix in Azkaban. Having the day off, Harry returned to his dorm room &amp; forced himself to get back into the memoirs. Maybe now that the horror was past, it would be an easier read.

* * *

When next I opened my eyes, I was lying on my own chesterfield in my own house. Sirius was sitting beside me wiping down my brow with a damp cloth in one hand &amp; his eyes with another from crying so much. I stared at him. If he was crying, then it wasn't a nightmare. It was real. I tried to sit up a little. My body seized up in protest, making me scream.

"Prongs," Sirius said. "why? Why didn't you change?"

"You're Dad's a professional werewolf killer, Padfoot," I pointed out.

* * *

Harry blinked. Marauder number three down. "So, Black is Padfoot. Now, WHAT is Padfoot?" He was also wondering if &amp; when Wormtail would show up.

* * *

"Kreacher had me immobilized. I tried to get to you! I couldn't move!" Sirius put his head on my chest &amp; burst into tears.

"I know," I gasped weakly, wondering if this is something of what Remus felt after being ripped apart every full moon. I've watched more than one of his transformations. It's a brutal mess being a werewolf. I put one hand on Sirius's head. "Where's Mum &amp; Dad?"

"Still out at the Ministry Of Magic," said Sirius. "Won't be home until late."

"Good," I attempted to push Sirius off but was too weak. "That's good. Let me up."

"Jim." Sirius went back into his seat while I ignored every stab of pain as I sat up.

That hurt the most. I set my teeth against it. "Help me stand up."

"James."

"NOW!"

Sirius grabbed both my hands &amp; pulled me up. I tottered forward &amp; fell into his arms. I let him hold me while I suddenly cried into his shoulder for a good ten minutes. Then I tried to move &amp; nearly fell to my knees.

Sirius held me up. "What are you playing at?" he demanded. "James! My father nearly killed you."

"I know," I forced myself to walk forward a few steps, clutching the blanket around me. It was all I was wearing at the time. "I'm going for a bath. I need to wash up before my parents get home."

"As soon as they do, I'll send them over."

I turned so sharply that the pain nearly killed me yet somehow I kept on my feet. "You will do no such thing!"

"James, they're both Aurors! They won't stand for this!"

"They won't know!" I shot back. "No one! No one can ever know! What's done is done! Understand?"

"No," Sirius spluttered through a new wave of tears. "N-no you can't do that."

"Watch me!"

"He should pay for what he's done!"

"He will! Just not now."

"JAMES PRONGS! YOUR PARENTS ARE AURORS! TELL THEM!"

"NO!" I punched the wall with the same hand used for the stairs earlier. It ruined the bandage Sirius had wrapped my knuckles with. "No! We can't tell them. EVER!"

"Why?" Sirius fell to his knees, pleadingly.

"Sirius, it would tear them apart if they knew what was done to me!" I was sobbing now, not for myself but for them. They were too old. "You know how they are with me. Only child. Always fussing over me, spoiling me! I'm their pet, basically. They're old. My father isn't in very good health now, you know that!"

"We have to do something," said Sirius.

"We will," I said. "When I can move properly. We will take care of it. My parents are not to know. No one is. It's bad enough you do! Don't you understand what I'm feeling right now? I can barely look at you without feeling shame." My voice was cracked now. "You were there. You saw me. I hate that! I hate it all! I CAN-T—" I was suddenly in his arms again.

"You're right, I saw it all," Sirius said. "I hate it too. I couldn't move. I couldn't help you."

I turned away from him &amp; headed for the washroom only to get stuck at the bottom of the stairs. How the hell was I going to learn how to handle stairs before my parents got back in a few hours?

The black Grim dog came to stand in front of me. Padfoot was bigger than even Moony—

* * *

A black Grim dog. Harry had seen that sort of beast more than once now. Was that Sirius Black? If so, then Sirius would have had several chances to kill Harry by now. They were alone together the first time Harry laid eyes on the dog when he had run away from Privet Drive. The dog was staring at him for a moment, but—but then took off. Something wasn't right.

* * *

—Moony on full moons. He was half my Stag-size. He whined. I shook my head. "James," Sirius reappeared. "Let me do something to help you."

"I need to learn how to move on stairs," I said. "Help me with that."

"One step at a time," Sirius held me gently in his arms &amp; led me up the first step.

Unbidden, I cried out. I doubled over, trying to forget. Trying to put my mind from my mangled body so I could work these damned stairs. "Again," I ordered.

He helped me up one step. I paused for a rest. Then the next one. It took several minutes to go up half the stairs. "Prongs, this is ridiculous!"

"We're not telling anyone," I snarled. "I don't want anyone else to know. How'd I get here?" I changed the subject.

"When Kreacher finally released me," Sirius began. "I kicked him so hard, he was flung into my father's face. There was a bit of a fight &amp; I jumped onto you &amp; well, I apparated us out."

"How on earth do you know how to do that?"

"Same way we know Animagic," Sirius shrugged. "I started working on it during the summer. See, I was planning to do that at the wedding &amp; leave everyone hanging, but I was able to get away earlier &amp; go to France to spend with everyone for the full moon. Oh well, I still needed it in the end, didn't I?"

I nodded mutely. By now we were nearly at the top of the stairs &amp; I was starting to do them on my own as I gained a new feeling for them. "You hexed me, by the way."

"What?"

"That's what we're going to tell Mum &amp; Dad," I said. "We were screwing around &amp; I got whacked which is why I'm limping around."

I finally made it to the washroom. It was nearly the same size as the Prefect's Washroom at Hogwarts. The bath wasn't the size of a swimming pool though, but it was bigger than usual &amp; it had water jets in it which would turn on if one stuck their wand, tip first, into the slot. Sirius went to fill it as I stepped into the mirrors. My mother had very long hair which still was beautiful even though it was a pale grey now. Using the mirrors, she could see herself from all sides to do up her hair.

Letting the blanket fall to the floor, I walked into the center &amp; turned the three panels so I could see myself at any angle. What I saw nearly made me pass out. I was blue-black from the lower half of my back all the way down my legs. I had gouges on my chest &amp; back from the stairs. My left hand felt as if it was broken from punching things; the knuckles bleeding as much as the scrapes &amp; bites Bellatrix had done to me. In fact, my cock was quite mangled &amp; half-swollen (not in a good way) no thanks to her &amp; I doubted I could ever function properly again. Yet despite all that, I was standing on tip-toe. That was Prongs. I wondered what he would look like but I found I couldn't change completely, though I managed to get part of my rack out.

I couldn't change! Thank God the full moon was just past. I had to learn Prongs again before the next full moon. I had a month to heal as much as possible so the Stag could come out.

If I lose my Stag, Moony would have to be kept either in the Shack or deep in the Forbidden Forest, never to run free anywhere else again. My horns had driven him away from many villages. Some of the scars Remus bore were from Prongs, not Moony. If I lost Prongs, Moony would have to be imprisoned every night. Padfoot couldn't do it alone, neither could I. Wormtail was much too small to hold a werewolf at bay. I must find Prongs again.

Sirius helped me into the water. It was room-temperature so it wouldn't aggravate my wounds &amp; there was no soap to sting my open sores. He had put many towels down in the water so it would be soft to lie on. He redid my hand-bandage. Neither of us spoke for a while.

Sirius suddenly stood up. "I can make you a couple of potions to get rid of the swelling a bit &amp; bring down those bruises, or rather it looks like one big one. I'll give you one for the pain too." He put a hand onto one of my horns sticking out of my head. "The things we do to keep our werewolf safe. I know I would die for him, given half a chance."

* * *

"That's likely," Harry snarled.

* * *

"So would I."

Sirius left. I heard him banging about in the kitchen downstairs for nearly an hour. He would check on me occasionally, but I was mostly left alone. That was what I wanted. To be alone. Maybe if I sat here long enough, I could convince myself it was just a horrid dream. Moving into a new position however, reminded me of the reality of my situation.

Every.

Single.

Movement.

Sirius finally had three potions for me. I didn't feel any better after them though I suppose I was better. He helped me out of the water after &amp; began to towel me dry, starting with my least injuries first.

"Er..." Sirius cast around for something to say as he stopped drying me off. He had missed a spot but that was the problem. "I um...I mean, well...should I...?"

I had been watching him in the mirrors. I could see everything he did to me. I simply nodded &amp; after some hesitation, he finished drying me off, working up between my legs, his touch becoming more &amp; more gentle. I trumpeted softly. Sirius threw himself away from me. My horns were still partly out &amp; he stared at them.

"Don't worry," I actually laughed softly at him. "Prongs was just saying thanks."

"Ok," Sirius stood up, cracking his back as he stretched. Then he put the blanket on me again. "Let's get you to bed. We can just tell your parents you weren't feeling well &amp; went to bed early."

"Not far from the truth," I turned &amp; walked on my toes towards my bedroom. The potions had done something as I could move a little, but it still hurt.

"You might want to pull your antlers in," Sirius said.

I did so, but instinctively stayed on my toes. Sirius did that a lot as well &amp; we were both often asked why we were walking on our toes. We do it without realising it. I forced myself to get under the covers &amp; lay back. Sirius left to take care of the washroom. He finished barely in time as I heard my parents come in. They were coming up the stairs.

They were coming after me.

Being hugged &amp; coddled right now was the last thing I needed. It would seriously hurt me. I was already damaged so much that my Stag was twisted up inside me &amp; couldn't move. Plus I had little control over Prongs right now. Bits of him kept shooting out of me. I was illegal &amp; I had not one but two Aurors for parents. How stupid am I? I felt a rising panic for a moment, then heard Sirius in the hall, blocking the way to my bedroom.

"Oh Siri!" My mother cooed. I knew she was crushing him in one of her hugs. My parents liked Sirius &amp; often muttered that he should have been born a Potter so he could be my brother, not just a cousin. "I'm glad you stayed."

"We thought you might have gone home," my father added.

"Sirius, what's wrong?" my mother asked.

I heard Sirius crying. Oh no! He was going to tell them! I raised my head barely in time to miss skewering the wall as my entire rack shot out. Huffing, I pulled it in &amp; stared horrified at my closed door. Don't tell! Oh please don't tell!

"Can I—can I mo-move in?" Sirius gasped between sobs. "Permanently? Please! I can't go back home! Never again!" My jaw dropped. FINALLY! I had already asked my parents more than once if we could make Sirius move in. After all he basically lived here to begin with. But they said we couldn't make anyone do anything. (Obviously rape wasn't in their vocabulary.) We had to wait for Sirius to ask.

"We knew this day was coming," my father said after a moment. "You can stay here as long as you like. Forever if you must."

"What has your father done now?"

"Pureblood supremacy," Sirius snarled. "I can't deal with it any more. We had a fight. My wedding, you know?" I heard both my parents scoff. They knew Sirius would never go through with it. "My Da—Orion. He really! He hurt—he—"

"Did he hurt you again?" my mother said. We all knew what was going on in that house. Orion Black used Crucio as his favourite form of punishment. Sirius finally was asking for help.

Though it was for me, not him. At least, it helped him to.

After a while, they soon got to asking about me. Sirius told them I wasn't feeling well &amp; was sleeping by now. (I wish!) I heard Mum mention something about making my favourite soup whenever I was sick &amp; I nearly threw up right there. That soup could never fix this! Nothing, could fix this!

After nearly two hours, Sirius entered my room. "I'm all moved in to the bedroom across from you." He sat down slowly on the very edge of my bed so as not to aggravate my injury. "I already have all my stuff, some here &amp; the rest at Hogwarts. There's no need to go back. My bike's in your garage next to the Ministry car your Dad has." I put my hand over his as he went on. "I won't ever tell." He covered my hand with his other one. "I don't know how Jim, but I'll find a way to heal you. I promise."


	4. Chapter 4

**(4) The Lunar Reunion**

Harry laid the memoirs aside &amp; got ready for bed. Remembering Lupin's threat of being carried off, Harry was determined to get some sleep tonight. He was already feeling better knowing that the two people involved were taken care of. One dead &amp; one in Azkaban.

But something was bugging him.

That Sirius that was taking care of his abused father, did not seem to be the same Sirius out there who had murdered fifteen people, including James Prongs Potter.

Harry stood in the window for a while, petting Hedwig, listening to the deep snores of those sharing his dorm-room. He thought back to that conversation he had overheard in Hogsmeade the other day. Madam Rosemerta had said she found it hard to believe Black had switched sides. But everything else pointed to Black as doing just that. He watched a slightly diminished full moon rise. Suddenly he laughed softly under breath. Harry was without a doubt sure that Professor Lupin was a werewolf. If so, he would be rather busy tonight &amp; pay for it for the next few days. He wouldn't be around to see Harry missing another night of sleep. Harry knew that Snape was going to teach the Dark Arts lesson tomorrow. Harry didn't care about Snape. He got into bed &amp; pulled closed the curtains. After resetting his silencing charm, he continued reading.

* * *

I didn't go down stairs for the next few days. Sirius stuck to the 'he-hexed-me' story &amp; brought me healing potions every day. My parents brought me meals in bed. I feigned an extreme sore throat the first day so I wouldn't have to speak. But I could only keep that ruse up for so long otherwise my parents would send me to St. Mungo's &amp; then, the real story would come out.

The potions helped me, though they took their time since I was so ruined. By the third day, I braved the stairs again. I had to learn stairs now since I was going back to Hogwarts the day after tomorrow. I found that so long as I stepped down slowly &amp; took each step in turn, I could move. I set my jaw against the dull lingering aches &amp; strode into the living room, acting as cheery as possible.

"Ok Sirius," I began. "No more experiments with Exploding Snap! Do you have any idea how much that blast hurt me?" There, I now had my excuse to limp a little.

"I'm really sorry, Jim," Sirius stared at me but I knew he was sizing me up almost like a lover, with those piercing grey eyes of his, checking to see just how much I had healed.

By the time we were to go to Platform 9 &amp; ¾'s, I had perfected my skills at hiding pain, taking cues from Remus. We found Peter &amp; boarded the train. Remus wouldn't join us here as he was on his way back from Canada. He got on when the train stopped at the borders between countries to check us through.

Once back in motion, the four of us took one compartment. Sirius &amp; I were on one side. I was sort of lying with my head in his lap, feigning tiredness. Remus sat across from me while Peter was across from Sirius. Why is this important?

Because it isn't our usual set up. Remus &amp; I had switched places. I hated it but Sirius had been incredibly stupid late during our OWL year. He did something that nearly got Severus Snape killed ...killed by Moony. From then on, old Snivellus knew what Remus was. Dumbledore made him swear on his magic never to tell.

Remus was furious as well he should be. Sirius had yet to spend a full moon with us since that horrible prank. He went to France for the summer full moons but had to stay away during the nights. We had managed to trick Remus's parents into leaving for the second night so Peter &amp; I could change. Sirius had to stay in a hotel but came to the Lupin Manor in the morning to help clean up the mess (we really need to break that mutt out of his chewing habits) before Moony's parents came back. We had all discussed it over the summer &amp; had decided that Padfoot &amp; Moony would be reintroduced during the first full moon at school. Remus &amp; Moony had needed a very long break.

Now they were civil to each other but that was it. Sirius appeased the Alpha dominance of Remus Moony as best possible by buying the best chocolates from the trolley &amp; then passing Remus one every so often. Remus would take it, glaring, his eyes slightly yellow with the wolf within, but he would take it. I wished things would go back to normal but I had given that up now. Nothing would ever be normal again.

The reason it was taking so long to patch things up between the two actual dogs in our pack was that before that ridiculous prank, it had been obvious that the two of them were in love with each other.

* * *

Harry looked up from the pages &amp; stared at the far curtain. "Great! This just gets better &amp; better ..."

* * *

Sirius had broken Remus's heart before ever even asking if he could have it. Now we were back to square one.

Minus one at that. Having never admitted it in the first place, Remus denied ever having a crush on Sirius. Wolves mate for life. Sirius didn't. Sirius had one, even two lovers at a time—

* * *

Harry double face palmed. "Too much information, Dad!"

* * *

—every other night or so. Sirius however, had confessed to me at the start of our OWL year that he was liking Remus as more than a friend &amp; I had told him that I would kill him if he ever denied it.

Basically, a werewolf is like an elephant. Never forgets &amp; slow to forgive.

Great! So, we're all caught up.

We told Peter &amp; Remus the same thing we told my parents. I had been ill the last week &amp; Sirius had nearly killed me with a pile of Exploding Snap due to some stupid new hex he had tried.

"You're not supposed to do magic outside of school!" Remus actually hissed, baring the points where his fangs were.

"Don't hiss!" The three of us ordered.

"Bad werewolf manners," Peter added. Remus just hissed again. He's our Alpha. He doesn't care what we say!

I glared at him, wishing he'd sit with Sirius again where he belonged. Stupid wolf! "Dude! Both my parents are Aurors. You think I care? I can get away with murder in my house if I wanted to." Annoyed, Remus clicked his fangs together. Sirius tossed him a chocolate. They stared at each other, then turned away. 'Sirius-ly', mate &amp; get it over with.

* * *

Harry rolled his eyes so hard, they hurt. He had never seen a worse joke in his life!

* * *

We got off the train &amp; headed for the great opening feast. I moved as smoothly as possible, but I was already tense from the fact that I would have to face all those stairs soon. Even with our shortcuts, it was still a lot of climbing. This was going to hurt. I had no idea how to do it in front of Remus &amp; Peter without them asking questions.

It was Sirius who rescued me. Again.

We stood at the base of our main shortcut that went between walls &amp; headed straight up to the seventh floor "Alright," Sirius began. "We have to race up there. First one to the common room gets something special I found over the summer." I raised a brow, wondering what he was doing. Sirius gave me a look before standing in front of me to block my way. "Ready? GO!"

Remus &amp; Peter shot up the stairs like jets of magic from a wand. Sirius turned to me. "You ready for this?"

"No," I tackled the first stair. "What's your gift?"

"No idea," Sirius said. I laughed, which threw off my concentration &amp; therefore my balance. I would have crumpled on the stairs if Sirius didn't catch me. He held me up &amp; after a few moments of catching my breath, we continued upwards.

Peter &amp; Remus had been waiting for us for fifteen minutes. They both said Remus had been first &amp; the werewolf looked pointedly at Sirius waiting for his prize. Stupid Sirius. This would only end up hurting their frail relationship.

"I actually don't have anything," Sirius began without missing a beat. Remus blinked. "Look, Jim &amp; I needed to talk. About Lily. You know Jim's still a virgin. You know I'm not so ...yeah, we needed to talk."

It was my turn to blink. I had totally forgotten about Lily! How could I look at her now? I was no longer virgin. I wished what Sirius had said was true but I couldn't deny it.

"Ya know," Remus said. "You could have just told us you wanted to talk." He huffed &amp; turned away but not before I saw him smile. Nice save Sirius. Nice save.

As I went to sit by the fire with them, I caught sight of Lily. She used to be the love of my life since I was eleven years old. She never liked me much but I had denied that fact for five years. Now, I was glad she didn't like me as I could never give her what a girlfriend would need. I looked away. I wondered if I could ever even look at her again without feeling disgusted by the very idea of sex or a painful twist in my gut from Prongs' own suffering within me.

I spent most of that month focusing on moving just so to avoid injury. I had to heal. If I couldn't bring back Prongs, I had no idea what to tell Remus. Sirius took care of me, covering for me as before when I had to face things like stairs or sneaking out more healing potions from the hospital wing, though he couldn't do that often. None of us spoke of the next full moon.

Reuniting the Wolf-Star team would be bloody. Deadly. I wasn't sure I would be up for it. I knew it would end up hurting my wounds, maybe even re-open some of them. But I didn't voice my concerns. Padfoot &amp; Moony had to face each other sooner or later, but the sooner the better. In the meantime, Remus &amp; Sirius worked on their friendship. The closer they bonded, the easier it would be on the K9 Appeal.

I focused on Prongs.

As the full moon drew near, I was finding it easier to move &amp; was soon able to do things as before without pain. A hard knock would hurt me &amp; I would bruise easily &amp; it was pure murder if something touched my tailbone where the worst of it all was, but all in all, I was finally feeling better, physically anyway. The giant black bruise that covered most of my body was nearly gone but the area was sensitive. I was quite sensitive where Orion had forced me &amp; Bellatrix had cut &amp; bit me but I kept that quiet. I figured those would be among the last places to heal.

The day before the full moon, I locked myself in the washroom of the boys' dormitory &amp; stood in front of the mirror. "Alright Prongs. I need you now!" I stared at the mirror. My hair rose up a little. "Prongs, Moony &amp; Padfoot need you! Please." I stood back &amp; closed my eyes, focusing on the Stag.

I don't know how long I stood there. Ten minutes. Maybe fifteen. I focused on the full moon &amp; the task of reuniting the entire pack. When next I opened my eyes, I saw Prongs, not James, in the great mirror. The large Stag hobbled forward a few steps. I knew the full moon would remind me of old injuries. I didn't count on the Stag-form to do that. Of course it would. Different shape. Different size. It stretched out my wounds.

Prongs hung his head, nose nearly touching the floor with his tongue hanging out. Damn it! He was weak. Lank. Fur dulled. I knew that the Stag had taken the brunt of what happened to protect me as much as possible. It was the only way I was still alive. But try as I might, I couldn't even get Prongs to twitch his great triangular tail. I should have died that day, yet somehow I'm still alive. I had spent time healing my human body but Prongs needed healing to. How was he going to help our dogs get back together? Well, it was all I had. Changing back to James, my entire body seized up in protest. I had felt raped all over again. I lay on the floor, letting the coolness revive me. I had no choice but to make do with what I had. This would be a very bad full moon.

I didn't summon Prongs again until we were in the Shrieking Shack. By now, people thought this was the most haunted house in Britain as ever since five years ago, at least once a month, screams &amp; wails reverberated through its walls. People blamed evil spirits &amp; Dumbledore encouraged it. But this was actually Moony's den &amp; those sounds were his pain.

I stayed human for as long as possible, watching Remus bent nearly in half backwards as Moony clawed his way out. Remus was split open as if someone was working an autopsy on him. He was screaming to make it stop. None of us could help him with this, only prevent further injury when the wolf appeared by playing with him, otherwise; Moony would turn on himself. We saw the Lycan symbiont within Remus's ribs heaving in the blood that usually ran through Remus's veins as it became larger. The rib cage of Remus was cracking apart &amp; the popping sound was horrible to listen to. The flesh had peeled away as if boiled off, exposing muscle that was stretching &amp; tearing &amp; the bones that were cracking. The blood inside that double body was bubbling up &amp; occasionally spluttering upwards like a coughing volcano. I could even see the heart beating fast from the stress.

* * *

Harry gasped &amp; leaned over the side of his bed, dry heaving. He never knew the brutality of it until his father's own words described it in vivid detail. Harry's basic idea was out pops a wolf &amp; then out pops the man at the end of the night. Not this! He lay still for a while, thinking of Lupin out there right now. He hoped he would never become a werewolf.

* * *

None of us would dare leave his side in his darkest moments. The Lycan broke out as fur sprouted from Remus.

Transformations varied in length. It depended on the mood of the human the day before or the wolf in the pre-morning light. Basically, the happier the man or the wolf, the quicker the change. I've seen some last a few minutes. I've witness one that lasted nearly an hour during which Remus had held my hand so hard he broke three fingers. I had to use a binding charm on my hand &amp; then hobbled about as Prongs. (I had blamed Snape the next day for breaking them when getting Pomfrey to fix it. Better that than the truth.)

That one was the first full moon after Sirius had screwed up last year. The first full moon since we all learned Animagic that Padfoot would not join us. The madness of Remus had spread to Moony &amp; both nearly killed each other from ripping apart. (It was the first time I heard Remus screaming for death, not just to make it stop. I never dared ask if he had asked for death before that night &amp; I never will.)

This one went on for about half an hour. We were all apprehensive about this full moon. Moony was soon lying on the floor in front of me, panting. I finally shifted to Prongs. Wormtail ran up my legs &amp; into my horns. Padfoot stayed just outside the bedroom, behind me on the landing of the stairs. I nudged Moony. He licked my muzzle, then pulled himself up. He barked &amp; hopped onto the bed, then put his front paws on my nose. I twisted my head so the right antler would touch the bed. Wormtail scampered off &amp; went into the hollow between Moony's withers. Moony began chewing on my horns.

My glasses. My horns. Once even my wand which to this day still has marks on it. (The one I bought at Ollivander's, not that other one. Heads out of gutters please. That said I wouldn't be surprised if Remus thought of that one to, just to piss me off!)

* * *

Harry spluttered, shoving a pillow into his face to keep from bursting out laughing.

* * *

Do I look like a bloody chew-toy? I have never liked dogs. Bad experience as a kid. I was a cat person. But now I was stuck with not one but two dogs. Why in the hell couldn't Remus be a werecat? Cats are nice! Don't chew &amp; sure as hell don't slobber! I should check the Restricted Section to find something to turn this mutt into a pussycat. That would be great. He's still chewing on my horns by the w—OWW! That was my ear! I bleated &amp; pulled away. Moony whined &amp; licked his chops, looking innocent. This is why I'm a Stag. A flight animal.

(Oh by the way, I vote we change the fleabag's name from Moony to Chewbacca, anyone else? What? Remus is a bad boy &amp; forces us to watch both Star Trek &amp; that Star Wars movie that just came out during the summers. Apparently it's bad to like both. But I still like the name Chewbacca...&amp; he's totally chewing my horns. Again! Well, this is unpleasant. Ah, sigh!)

* * *

Harry finally burst out laughing. He beat his pillow with his fist, roaring with laughter &amp; had to wipe a few tears from his eyes before continuing.

* * *

I bleated miserably &amp; pulled my head up. Moony promptly flipped over looking for a belly rub, another thing you DON'T have to do with cats. I put one hoof on him &amp; pushed it back &amp; forth a few times before stepping back. That was all he was getting. We have more important things to do.

Moony slowly but surely rolled to the side, accepting the fact that he wasn't getting any more rubs. He stood up &amp; shook himself, then jumped to the floor, leaving Wormtail on the bed. Suddenly, Moony snarled viciously, his golden eyes shot through with red.

He had caught sight of Padfoot between my legs, who had been sulking behind me just outside the door. Growling low, Moony took a step towards him, which meant me as well since I was stuck between. We weren't going to let them battle it out in this small space. We had to get out. I turned my head &amp; bleated at Padfoot.

/Run! NOW!/

Padfoot dashed down the stairs out of sight. Moony tried to follow but I lowered my horns. He attacked me instead, getting a mouthful of antlers but he was no longer interesting in chewing. Moony wanted Padfoot's blood.

I suddenly felt the breath of the night sweep over me. The door below was open. I bugled, letting Padfoot know that I was allowing Moony past, then put my head to the bed for Wormtail to grab my horns. I bounded off downstairs after Moony.

I couldn't believe how fast those dogs were. Padfoot had fled deep into the Forest to bring Moony away from Hogsmeade. Moony's only intent was to hurt Padfoot as much as possible so he didn't even sniff at the human world for once. I soon found them fighting frantically in a glade. Moony growled angrier then ever while Padfoot was yipping in pain. I bleated to him.

/Fight back you idiot!/

I put my head to a tree for Wormtail to jump into the branches.

* * *

"Dad, what is Wormtail?" Harry complained. He was wondering if Peter was perhaps a monkey or a badger or something. Small enough that it couldn't hold back a werewolf, but he had to be big enough so Moony wouldn't eat him. Right?

* * *

Then I gauged the fight, wondering where I could butt in to push them apart before Moony killed Padfoot. Sirius fought only to defend but he allowed Moony too much leeway since he was so desperate to be truly forgiven. I soon saw an opening &amp; lowered my rack for a charge.

* * *

"Don't save him, Dad!" Harry whispered aloud, knowing the story anyway. "Please, don't! He'll kill you four years later."

* * *

There was a sickening thud as horns met wolf-flesh. I suddenly ploughed into Moony, throwing him about five feet in the air &amp; twenty feet away.

* * *

"No," Harry whimpered, clapping one hand over his eyes. Then he rubbed his scar. "Why? WHY did you save him? Idiot!"

* * *

Remus will bear the gouges of that attack for the rest of his life. As Moony came crawling back, I stood between him &amp; Padfoot, horns lowered. I sent out a bugle. Moony growled but came no nearer. I bleated at him.

/Enough! You've made your point./

Moony growled. /I Alpha!/

/I Delta! I have some say./

/Padfoot hurt./

/No thanks to you!/ (The great Grim was lying limp on the ground, crying pitifully. He was more red than black.)

/Hurt ME!/

/Yes. Accident though./

/Hate Padfoot! Not pack!/

/Love Padfoot. IS pack!/

/Remus love. I hate!/

/At least someone admits there's a crush going on./

/Padfoot sorry!/ We all looked around at the Grim who was dragging himself forward. He collapsed at my feet, crying. I nuzzled him. Truth was, Padfoot could die tonight. What would we tell the school if Sirius died tonight?

* * *

"Let him die!" Harry snarled.

* * *

/Not my pack-mate!/

I stepped over the Grim, guarding him. /Is OUR pack-mate. Bad boy but ours./

/Padfoot very bad!/ Moony growled under breath, glaring at the Grim.

/Yes,/ Padfoot whined. /I'm so sorry./

Moony stepped closer to just a millimeter out of reach from my horns. He sniffed, licking his chops, then growled at Padfoot. /Omega! Know your place./

/Yes, my Alpha./

Moony turned away &amp; walked into the forest. Wormtail dropped onto my head to hold my horns while I cautiously stepped away from Padfoot. I started to follow Moony. Padfoot hobbled along behind me, pausing often to rest. I had to leave him behind, so I lowered my head to make Wormtail stay with him. Moony was loose. Someone had to watch him. I had to try to keep him close in case I needed help from Padfoot; though, he was in hardly any condition to help me. This could get worse. I turned away to continue into the forest.

I never knew dogs could scream. Padfoot had suddenly screamed. Glancing back, I saw Moony on Padfoot sinking his fangs into the Grim's chest. Sweet Merlin! He was going for the heart! I was in the process of charging but Wormtail jumped onto Moony's head, bit his ear &amp; squealed. /Leave him alone!/

Wormtail jumped away a nanosecond before I gouged Moony's flank, shoving him off. /Satisfied now?/

/Very!/ Moony huffed &amp; went to lie down under a tree.

I watched him for a long time, but he appeared to be sleeping. Moony is not to be trusted though. He's lied several times to us before, gets the perfect lying streak from Remus. Wormtail scampered over to stay with Moony who 'woke up' (knew he was lying) to lick him. As they snuggled together, I looked back at Padfoot who was lying like a Sphinx but with his head down. He was gasping &amp; bloody. I finally released a breath I didn't know I was holding &amp; then, I collapsed right there. The fight over, the stress now gone, my Stag-form screamed from within at the injuries from the summer.

/Prongs?/ Padfoot whined.

/Tired./

I didn't look, but I knew he watched me for a long time. But I was too sore to care. I curled up, putting my muzzle on the ground &amp; let my horns hold my head up a bit.

There was no more fighting or talk between us. We all soon dozed, only to be awakened in the early morning by the howls of Moony which soon turned to the keening of a young man in torment. The sun's rays ripped the man out of the wolf. Remus lay naked &amp; gasping on the ground. Peter &amp; I changed back but Padfoot didn't move as he was still in too much pain. Great. What a team we make, eh?

"You ok mate? " I knelt beside Remus after his transformation finished. It took nearly half an hour again.

"If only something could be done for the pain ..."

"Perhaps some day," I stroked his brow, pushing back over-long sandy bangs that were wet with sweat &amp; blood.

He closed his dark green eyes, darker than even Lily's. I'm not gay, but I think only stupid people don't have at least a little crush on Remus &amp; I wasn't ashamed to admit it myself. Of course, all that was destroyed now, but I had my memory of before that horrible summer day. Technically speaking, Remus isn't gay either. That isn't how wolves operate. They need to bond with someone suitable as it's for life. If a nice bitch happens to enter our life before Remus is bonded to Sirius, he could easily switch if she proves more suitable. Right now, a female giant squid would prove more suitable it seems. Sirius was still in the doghouse but at least the next full moon wouldn't be so rough on him.

Remus's voice brought me back to reality. "Sun feels nice." He soon slipped into a doze. Ignoring the physical reminders of rape brought back to full force within me, I knelt beside him, pulled out the pack of bandages from under my cloak &amp; began to work on the wounds I had given him. Werewolf first. Everyone else after. If there's one thing this pack knew, it was pain &amp; we knew how to hide it, or put it from our minds until we could deal with it. I looked at the wounds on Remus. I knew I scarred him for life. Peter helped Sirius &amp; for a while, we worked in silence, patching up our dog-team.

Remus grunted whenever I worked on the holes I had punctured in him. "Sorry, you old fleabag." He grinned at me, wolf-style. When I was finished, I let myself lie flat on my back to stare at the sky. Remus got up a moment later &amp; began cavorting around the glade, letting Moony take over a little. He snapped at a flock of Flutterbys, batted a rock between his feet &amp; then found a branch at fang-in-human-height-level &amp; promptly began chewing on it.

"Hey Chewbacca!" I called out. Remus stopped mid-chew to stare at me. "Haven't you forgotten something?"

"Hmm nnn ohh," Remus shrugged, branch still in mouth.

I sat up a moment to take my cloak off &amp; gratefully lay down again. Using my wand I levitated it over to Remus. "Get dressed, you 'Knut!"

* * *

Harry paused to look away from the words &amp; stared at nothing in a sort of 'Are you kidding me?' look.

* * *

Remus hissed at me. "Chewbacca!" He snarled, throwing my cloak over his body. He tried to look furious but I could see his mouth twitching. He came &amp; offered a hand to pull me up. I grabbed it &amp; was pulled to my feet.

It hurt more than Orion did &amp; I yelled, doubling over. Something was wrong. All my wounds I had received under that man's torture seemed to be back in full force.

Remus stared at me horrified. "My God! What did I do?"

"Nothing," I managed to say, looking at Sirius who was nearly glaring at me. "I'm fine. Damn werewolf strength. Moony!"

"I'm sorry!"

"It's fine," I repeated. "I'm ok. I'll walk it off." Sirius shook his head. He knew exactly what had happened.

We made our way to the Shrieking Shack so Remus could get fully dressed. Sirius rested as much as possible. They had yet to speak to each other. Next we hobbled through the tunnel to Hogwarts &amp; went directly to the hospital wing. The only one not injured was Peter, but only Remus &amp; Sirius had a bed. Remus went straight to sleep as Pomfrey did a better job on the holes in his sides ('What on Earth did he do?" she asked but since no one knew we could be with him on full moons, we kept silent.) I kept myself hidden. I was 'fine' as I kept saying. Only Sirius would be allowed to take care of me, so I had to wait. I will wait.

It was over. Our pack was complete again. We blamed Snivellus as usual for the cuts &amp; tears all over Sirius who ended up in a bed next to Remus. I couldn't believe we were all alive. I thought Sirius would die. I felt I would die.

But we're ok. For now.

When the Wolfstar team fell asleep, I headed out to catch up on some homework. I saw Lily by the library. I kept walking, heading for Gryffindor Tower. Peter stayed with Lily so I took the shortcuts alone.

It took me nearly an hour.


	5. Chapter 5

**(5) Grim Healing**

Harry took his father's advice &amp; spent the next two days catching up on homework as well as sleep. As predicted, Snape was at the next Dark Arts class &amp; it was two days before Lupin returned. After reading an actual eye-witness account of Lunar transformations, Harry didn't blame him.

The holidays would be starting soon &amp; the last few classes were spent in revision &amp; short exams. Harry caught himself more than once watching Lupin when the Professor was turned away. He noticed that Lupin had sometimes stood on his toes for no reason &amp; wondered if that was Moony snuffling about inside. Harry had also tried to check McGonagall's feet but she wore skirts too long to notice. Besides, she was a girl after all &amp; probably wore high heels under her gowns which would put her on her toes, Animagus or not. Harry quickly gave up on her.

Ron &amp; Hermione were fighting worse than ever. In fact by now, they were barely even speaking to each other. Harry wished he could say something, but fact was, there was a good chance that Crookshanks had killed the rat. It was natural after all. Cat versus rodent. Been that way for thousands of years. Harry was sitting on his bed, one evening, finishing up an essay for Flitwick when he saw it.

There was a rat under the dresser by Neville's bed. Harry dived, inkbottle went flying, wand rolling. "GOTCHA!" He grabbed the tail &amp; pulled the rat out. "Easy. EASY! You're ok!" He cuddled the terrified rat to his chest. "Calm down! Ron's been looking for you every where. I'm so tired of hearing those two fight." Harry stopped talking as he noticed the ink everywhere. "Um, could ya give me a minute?" Harry tapped the rat's nose with his finger. "I have a mess to clear. Ron's not here right now anyway." Harry glanced around &amp; spotted the empty cage on the floor on the other side of Ron's bed. He put the rat in it &amp; locked it shut. "You'll be safe there." He put the cage by his own bed &amp; then dived under Neville's to get his wand. Harry cleaned up the mess &amp; then looked down &amp; found his father's memories wedged between the bed &amp; his trunk. He pulled that out &amp; put it on his pillow.

Scabbers came to the end of the cage closest to Harry, pressed his nose through the bars &amp; squeaked. "I found it in some room," Harry shrugged. "It was written by my Dad." The rat squeaked again. Harry sat on his bed &amp; sighed. It had been a while since he had time to read more of it. In a way that was a good thing since he needed time to absorb what history it gave. Problem was, he couldn't talk about it. He would never tell anyone about what happened to his father. Harry took the cage into his lap &amp; stared at Scabbers who stared unmoving right back at him. For a rat, the thing could stay still for long periods of time. Harry put a finger to the tiny pads of the rat's paw, noticing it was missing a toe. "You can promise not to tell anyone, right? You're a rat." Harry felt a jolt pass through him &amp; the rat. Static shock. The rat squeaked &amp; licked its paw. Harry's jaw ticked. After several minutes, he muttered the words that he had been denying all this time. "You know, Dad was raped by Orion Black just before 6th year."

The rat whirled around &amp; stared at him. It actually seemed to gape at him but Harry burst into tears &amp; didn't really notice. There. He had said it &amp; no one heard. He had to get it off his chest. He folded his arms over the top of the cage &amp; cried into them for a long time.

He finally raised his head &amp; sighed. Harry held the cage in both hands &amp; looked in. The rat ran to one side &amp; put a paw through the bars where one of Harry's hands was &amp; pressed against it. He squeaked incessantly. "Don't worry. We won't let Crookshanks get you. I hear a lot of noise downstairs. Maybe Ron's back." He stood up &amp; carried the cage down stairs. Sure enough, Ron was there &amp; he was overjoyed to see his pet. But instead of ending the fight, the pair of them only found something else to fight about.

"See? I TOLD YOU!"

"We got lucky!"

"I give up!" Harry turned &amp; headed back upstairs to read more. Originally, Harry had wondered if the Passion Year was about James finally courting Lily. Now, it seemed more likely it was about when James had helped Sirius &amp; Remus together; also of course most likely James finding true healing.

Harry had no idea.

* * *

Well I won't write anything boring about classes &amp; whatnot. I went through most of those in a daze. I was the kind of person that didn't have to study. Besides, whatever I missed I could always steal from Remus. The only eventful thing really was shedding my horns as most deer do &amp; I was grateful that I didn't have to worry about them shooting out at random. However, the new stubs soon appeared &amp; each time I get a new set of antlers, they're bigger with more points. (By the way, Remus never chews on shed horns. He prefers them attached to me. This...is annoying.)

But then the Quidditch started &amp; things changed for me forever.

I was a Chaser. But this year, I had a problem. I haven't even attempted riding a broom since Orion Black had touched me. The first full moon back at school had reinvented my physical traumas all over again, so I was in no condition to even fly.

Sirius &amp; I both thought the same thing. I had healed somewhat in human form, never in Stag form &amp; then I had forced Prongs out while he was weak. The two bodies were so different that it ripped me up again. Sirius helped me change between forms &amp; took care of both me &amp; Prongs. We had been spending more &amp; more time together. It was almost as if we were back in our childhood. Before Hogwarts. Just the two of us.

To throw off Remus &amp; Peter, Sirius devised a charm to hit me with that looked like it would hurt &amp; so I was able to limp around freely for a while, cursing Sirius in front of them but often crying on his shoulder when we were alone. I couldn't handle this &amp; one night, I woke up in a hospital bed. I panicked. If I was here, then Pomfrey could easily discover what my real injuries were. What was I even doing here?

Sirius sat at the foot of my bed, arms folded. "You're finally awake!" he snapped at me.

"What happened?"

He grabbed my wrist &amp; raised it up to show the bandage. "You tried to kill yourself."

I merely looked away as the memory came flooding back. I had been alone in the dormitory washroom &amp; had looked over my wounds again. The bruise was back, though more red then black. My tailbone still hurt. I was so messed up. Stairs nearly killed me &amp; I would have to face riding a broom in a few days. I couldn't do this! I had flicked my wand into a knife-blade &amp; cut my left wrist not once, but twice. Deeply!

"I guess everyone knows now," I finally muttered.

"Absolutely no one knows but us," Sirius replied crossly. "You think I'm stupid? I promised you I'd take care of you. Why didn't you trust me? Merlin's sake! You're so stupid Jim!"

I glared at him, but said nothing. He suddenly launched into a tirade explaining just how he covered for me. Remus &amp; Peter thought it was a hex gone wrong that Sirius tried. The floor had been covered in a lot of blood which Sirius had Vanished away, but Remus could smell the lingering odor of it &amp; needed some explanation. Madam Pomfrey had to be told how the cuts came about so she could repair them properly, but then Sirius Obliviated her memory of it &amp; destroyed her report. (Since it was knife-form blade magic that I had summoned from my wandtip that was used to cut, it needed more time for healing than if I had used an actual blade.) Now she thought I had been there for a severe headache but nothing more.

"Honestly, the things I have to do for you!" Sirius finished. By now he was lying on top of the covers beside me. "Don't ever do this," he held my cut wrist gently. "ever again." Then he put a hand on my face. "Ok? Jim, no matter where or how you're hurting, come to me above all else. I'll take care of you."

* * *

"Yeah I wish you remembered that promise, Black!" Harry glared at the lines.

* * *

I turned away, crying. Again. I felt Sirius hold my shoulder &amp; soon fell asleep. I woke up during the night &amp; found myself alone. It was then that I realised I was in real trouble. I had just tried to take my own life &amp; had nearly succeeded. Sirius told me that more of my blood was on the floor of the dormitory boys' washroom than running through my veins. He had been almost too late in finding me.

Part of me screamed out to not do that again. The part of me that still wanted to live told me that I needed to find a way to channel my anger &amp; pain. I rolled over &amp; rummaged around in the nightstand next to the bed &amp; it was there that I found the first thirteen sheets of parchment that became the start of these ramblings. I got up &amp; stumbled weakly over to Pomfrey's desk &amp; stole a quill &amp; inkbottle. Due to the blood loss, I was freezing by the time I got back to bed &amp; cast a warming charm on the quilts. The Replenishing potion I had been given would help my body replace all the blood I lost but it would take all night since I had nearly bled out completely. I began writing long into the wee hours of the morning, not knowing how much I should write but I just let it pour out into the parchment.

Now that we're all caught up, at this point I think I'll be adding every other day or so until I'm ready to destroy it.

The next day, I went to the dorm room alone &amp; pulled out a piece of parchment. I began writing a note on it. Sirius soon came to check on me. He never left me alone for more than five minutes now as if I was on suicide watch. I handed him the note. "Give that to Charlotte."

"Why?"

"Why do you think?"

"She's not going to like having to replace one of our Chasers," Sirius opened the note &amp; scanned through it. My resignation from the team. "I can pad the broom for you."

"Doesn't matter," I shrugged. "A Chaser is too much work. Too much moving on a broom. I need a position that isn't so involved with the game but we're all full. I'm leaving the team."

"How do you plan to explain this to Remus &amp; Peter?"

"It's interfering with my Auror studies," I sighed. "I prefer being an Auror to being a Professional Quidditch Player."

"I'm an Auror in training to," Sirius pointed out. "I'm still playing Quidditch."

"So you're better than me. So who cares?"

He put his hand under my chin &amp; forced me to look at him. "I'll hang on to this for a bit. Let me talk to Charlotte, maybe we can rearrange some team members. Jim, I know how much you love Quidditch!"

"I don't love anything anymore," I wrenched my face out of his hand &amp; pointedly glared at the window. My horns sprung out half way, warning Sirius not to touch me again. I heard him leave. Pulling my horns in, I went to the showers &amp; put the water on as hot as I could stand it. I was freezing for some reason.

When I finally warmed up, the whole washroom was foggy with the steam. I stood in front of the mirror (though it was covered in condensation) &amp; leaned on the sink. After a few moments, I pulled my wand from my robes hanging up in the closet &amp; cleared off one mirror. Standing back, I viewed my body for what seemed like the umpteenth time. I checked myself from all angles. I could still see bruising in my lower back &amp; inside my legs. The bite &amp; nail marks were mostly faded but the two largest ones were still sore. I know why. They had become infected.

I'm taking care of it. No, I didn't tell Sirius &amp; I don't plan to. I can handle it. I stood there, towel over shoulder, trying to feel nothing. Too late, I saw him in the mirror. Sirius walked around me.

"She asks you to reconsider," Sirius said. "In fact, she was hoping if you could change your position from Chaser to Seeker since Jason's gone now. You tried for Seeker before &amp; were pretty good at it. Better than Dana who would be Seeker now if you don't accept."

"I don't," I took my towel into my hands &amp; began twisting it.

"A Seeker isn't part of the main game. You fly your own route. You can choose your pace, your position," Sirius tried to coax me. "I can fix your broom to suit your needs. It won't be a problem."

"Why do you care?" I had gritted my teeth, catching my tongue. I winced.

Sirius touched my cheek with one finger. "Because you stopped caring."

"That's right!" I tossed the towel to the side, marched to the sinks &amp; leaned over one again.

"You're limping."

I whirled around to glare at him but he was looking down. "So?"

His grey eyes suddenly snapped up into mine. "James, how long has that been going on?"

"What?" I had quite forgotten my infection. Sirius pointed. "Oh! It's nothing." I quickly turned away.

"That isn't nothing!" Sirius turned me back to face him. "Jim, those cuts are nearly black. You idiot! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Leave it!"

"James!"

"I'm taking care of it."

"Jim, you're as bad as Peter when it comes to potions," he held me against the sink. "I can help you. I told you to come to me."

"Sirius! How can I do that for something like this?" I snarled at him. "It hurts! Literally &amp; in here!" I put a hand on my heart. "There are some things you can't fix."

He pulled me into his arms. I found myself in his arms a lot these past two months.

* * *

Harry put it aside &amp; stared out the window.

Not Sirius &amp; Remus.

Not his mother &amp; father.

His eyes slid sideways to look at the memoirs lying on his pillow, waiting. "Son of a wand, you didn't!"

He didn't read any more until after the holidays had past as he tried to think of another explanation for the Passion Year. It wasn't that Harry had a problem with any orientation. If it had been Peter perhaps, or Remus, helping his father it would be fine.

But SIRIUS? Cousin. Friend.

Lover?!

Murderer.

Harry wondered if he should continue. James seemed to be graphic with his writing. The rape. The Lunar transformation. How deep would his father go?

Or perhaps, Harry had it all wrong. Knowing he didn't, he finally picked it up over a weekend, figuring to read the rest of it in one go &amp; get it over with.

To top it off, not only had Scabbers gone AWOL again, but also Harry himself was now angry with Hermione. Someone had sent him a brand new broomstick for Christmas: a Firebolt! But no thanks to Hermione, McGonagall had confiscated the thing a few hours later on the assumption that it may have come from Sirius Black. Hermione meant well, Harry knew but how on Earth could Black even send him a Firebolt anyway? It was unlikely since the man was on the run. Harry preferred Ron's explanation that the broomstick had come from Dumbledore.

To avoid facing Hermione again &amp; get out of listening to her &amp; Ron fight as well, Harry used the memoirs as an excuse to escape. The only thing he had to look forward to was Anti-Dementor lessons with Lupin as promised now that the holidays were over.

* * *

He pulled me into his arms. I found myself in his arms a lot these past two months.

"Jim, if we don't get that fixed, you'll have to go to the hospital, possibly St. Mungo's," Sirius said softly in my ear. "Then the whole story will come out. You don't want that."

"No," I gasped under breath. After several minutes of silent resistance, I finally gave him what he wanted. "What can you do?"

"That's better," Sirius pulled a way, but only a little. He pushed me against the sink &amp; then sat cross-legged in front of me. "Those two cuts look really bad."

"Yeah," I said, feeling rather awkward all of a sudden on exactly where he was looking.

He finally raised his eyes, only his eyes, to my face. "So tell me, what exactly do you feel &amp; how long has this been going on?"

I hate this, admitting my weakness. My chest heaving with dry sobs, I told him quickly in one shot to get it over with. The marks left by Bellatrix still stung. I've never had a proper erection since that day &amp; when I try, it hurts too much to bother with.

"That's called blue balls, Jim."

"I know what it's called!" I said furiously. "She probably damaged me permanently." By now, I was crying again, freely.

Sirius took my slit hand into his own. "You're not damaged, well you are, but I mean not permanently."

"I can't love again," I retorted. "That's pretty permanent. Got something to fix that?"

Sirius stared at the infected cuts on my length. "Yes," he said simply, standing up.

"If you're talking about Love Potions," I began.

"No," Sirius put his hands on my shoulders. I raised my own hands to hang on to his arms. "I can help you, Jim, but only if you want me to."

I could barely speak now. "I do."

"Ok, I'm in love with Remus," he began. I already knew this. So what? "You're in love with Lily."

"No," I shook my head, blinking tears from my eyes.

"You've been after that girl since we were on the train before our sorting," Sirius disagreed. "It's within you. It just has to be found again."

"Then help me!" I dug my nails into his flesh. He didn't even wince. "Help me find it again."

"Alright," Sirius said. "I'll help you find love again. You help me by teaching me to be monogamous."

"What?"

"I'm trying to marry a wolf," Sirius pointed out.

"Ok," I nodded. "Wait, what?" Just what was he talking about?

"Jim, neither of our interests are giving us the time of day right now," Sirius went on. "Let me use this time to help you, as your friend &amp; family."

"Sirius," It suddenly slammed into me what he was proposing. It terrified me &amp; must have shown.

"I would never hurt you—"

* * *

"No of course not," Harry grumbled, hating the fact that he seemed to have guessed right. "I mean, why hurt him when you can just, oh I don't know, sell his life to Voldemort?"

* * *

"I would never hurt you like that," Sirius murmured. "I want to heal you. I said I would find a way."

I stared into his eyes. I felt Prongs go very still inside me. My horns came up part way. Sirius laughed at me. "Oh God!" I cried out. "Oh God, Sirius. I don't know what to do!"

"Follow my lead," he said. "Trust me." I nodded mutely. He stood away from me. My hands slid along his arms until they ended up in his. "Would you let me take care of that?" He looked down for a moment. "There are two ways I can go about it. Your choice."

"What are my choices?" I asked breathlessly. I couldn't believe I was actually considering this.

"I could go sneak out a potion to start healing you," Sirius began. "It would take a few times. Or I could use Padfoot."

That confused me. "How?"

"A dog's tongue is very sterile."

I stared at him, then it dawned on me &amp; I felt my eyes go wide. "Oh," I looked away.

He stepped away from me &amp; let me go. "It's ok. I won't hurt you. Your choice."

I pulled my horns in, thinking. Sirius went to the sink farthest from me, giving me space. We remained silent for several minutes. I watched him, tried to catch his eye, but he pointedly looked away from me. "Padfoot."

Now he looks at me. "Are you sure?" I nodded once. He came back to me &amp; pushed me back against the sink. "Prongs, I will never hurt you." He knelt down in front of me. "This might sting a little, considering."

I scoffed at him. "I hate you."

He smiled up at me. "Absolutely sure?"

I nodded once, then stared ahead at the showers, not to sure what to expect. I knew I'd feel the wetness of his tongue. I expected the stinging he warned me about. I didn't think I would feel more. How could I? Besides, we weren't doing this as a normal couple would do it for. This was medicinal.

Right?

So really, I shouldn't feel anything. He wouldn't hurt me. I was fine. I was...I was—oh my God! I was in his mouth all of a sudden. I forced my eyes on the opposite wall, letting Padfoot lick me. I gripped the sink behind me with both hands &amp; was now looking at the ceiling. I suddenly sucked in a much needed breath.

Which made me thrust unbidden.

Which made me double over with a grunt, my forehead hitting Padfoot's head between the ears. What the hell was that? "Sirius!" I hadn't expected to feel anything. I wasn't supposed to ever again.

Sirius was right. It did sting a little. The rough tongue of the Grim chafed against those cuts but I could handle it. After what Orion had put me through, I could handle a few small stings. Besides that which couldn't be helped, Sirius didn't hurt me. I put my head back again, staring at the ceiling.

I breathed once more, making me instinctively press down into him for the second time. I felt that pressure building up &amp; realised what was about to happen. I wanted to warn him but only managed to say his name. Everything felt as if it was in slow motion. I gasped &amp; sunk to my knees, then lay onto my side, panting hard. It wasn't until I was breathing normally over a minute later that he let me go. Sirius came into view &amp; lay beside me, holding his head up on one hand.

Putting his free hand on my chest, he asked, "You ok?"

"I didn't expect to come. Sorry. Tried to ...to warn you."

"It's ok. I didn't expect anything less," He lay his head on my chest. After several moments, he added, "Took you long enough."

"Sorry," I managed to say. Unlike Sirius who's been at it like a rabbit since he was nine, I had no real experience with this apart from the usual wank off boys do (oh right, I can't even do that now), the rape, now this. Ya know, the usual.

"Don't apologise," Sirius snickered. "The longer the better."

"I didn't think that would happen."

Sirius raised his head to stare at me. "Well , what did you think would happen? I was giving you a b-j after all."

"Well ...not ...not that is all," I said. "I didn't think that was possible."

"See? You are still virgin," He tapped my chest where the heart was. "Right here."

"...Sirius..."

"Right here," he repeated. He began petting the area on my chest. I felt my heart speed up &amp; wondered if he noticed. He lay beside me again to stare at the ceiling.

"It felt different," I suddenly said. "From when I used to handle myself."

"It's supposed to be different," said Sirius. "Wanking off is just to let off steam. Having someone with you is better."

"Different from your Dad too."

"I most certainly hope so."

"I wasn't talking about the part that hurt," I wondered how to explain, then wondered why I had started talking about it. "I mean that one moment near the end. I didn't think I could feel anything with him ...I didn't want to…tried to stop it."

Sirius sat up beside me. "Now you're feeling guilty for that moment of pleasure under him."

It wasn't even a question. How the hell did he know? I covered my face with both hands before finally bursting out, "Yes! Sirius, yes! Why did I do that?" I was suddenly crying again.

Sirius pulled me into his lap &amp; leaned over me. "You're supposed to. If you had kept it in, that would have really hurt you. It was just your body's natural response to survive it. Nothing wrong with that."

"How would you—Sirius! Did he do that to you to?"

"No," He stood up &amp; helped me to stand. I found myself in his arms again &amp; decided I liked being there. "James, you are not the first ...first rape victim ...I've been with."

"What?"

"You're my second," Sirius went on. "A Hufflepuff girl two years ago was really hurt by someone from Ravenclaw. Someone from 7th Year at that. I helped her."

"How did that work for her?"

"She's engaged to be married to a nice Ravenclaw man right now," Sirius answered.

I drew in a shaky breath &amp; leaned on him more. I inwardly smiled at the irony of my situation. Me, a victim of rape who's an-almost-virgin, let's just say, standing in the arms of quite probably the biggest sex addict in the universe. He was holding me close, pulling me against him. His hands were on my bare hips, holding me in place, his grip firm but gentle. I felt something between us but wasn't sure what. It took me a while to figure out I was pressed right up against him. Took me even longer to realise that I was feeling him next to me &amp; he was hard as a rock.

I considered for a moment if I should pull away but he made no move on me. I felt safe. I was safe. We stood like that for what seemed forever. I had thought for the longest time that any guy with a hard on couldn't control it, yet Sirius did nothing about it. I focused on Prongs but if anything, the Stag felt sleepy.

I lifted my head from his shoulder, feeling sleepy myself. "Um we, we should go."

"Ok," he stepped back &amp; looked down. "There see? You're almost healed there."

"How is that possible?"

"Grims are among the most magical dogs in our world, second only to werewolves."

"So, if Remus had done this, I'd be fully healed?" I laughed.

He didn't. "Probably." He walked out, leaving me to get dressed &amp; follow.

I took my time getting to the bedrooms, partly to dodge the pain &amp; partly to consider what just happened. Sirius was just getting into bed when I finally entered. Peter &amp; Remus were already both passed out a long time ago. It was really late, probably nearly three in the morning. He watched me change into pj's, which I found both unnerving &amp; yet rather arousing at the same time.

Going to his bed so I wouldn't wake the others, I asked under breath. "So how do we finish healing those cuts?"

"It's your choice Jim," Sirius lay back on his pillows. "Padfoot or potions. Good night." He rolled over &amp; went to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**(6) Confrontation**

Harry laid the thing aside for nearly two weeks. He couldn't believe what he had just read. He never expected that from his father. But it wasn't the guy fling that bothered him. If his father wanted to experiment a bit first, it wasn't that big a deal, especially considering what horrors he had been put through.

It was the guy. Why did it have to be Sirius?

Oliver Wood had been ecstatic to learn that Harry had a Firebolt &amp; was determined to make McGonagall give it back. It was during Quidditch practise one evening, Harry still using an old Shooting Star that Harry suddenly thought of something.

The moment practise was done, Harry all but threw the old broom into its place, ignoring surprised glances from Oliver &amp; Katie. He marched right past them &amp; off the stadium, inwardly seething. Harry didn't think he could hate Sirius more. Now he did.

Harry marched through the castle, heading down to the Trophy Room. He had seen something there in his very first year being here. He had never known that thing existed until Hermione had pointed it out to him.

"**You won't make a fool of yourself. It's in your blood." She had soon pointed out a Trophy Shield. Gold. James Potter emblazoned on it. Seeker.**

"**Blimey Harry! You didn't tell me your dad was a Seeker to!"**

"**I didn't know." ***

"Good Merlin, I REALLY didn't know!" Harry burst into the room &amp; went to stare at that Trophy. He suddenly hated it to. The reason it was there was because Sirius Black must have convinced his dad to continue by switching positions. The reason he had to switch positions was because being a Chaser was too much work &amp; it hurt him. Harry glared at the damn thing, sitting pretty behind glass, the name of his father in full view of anyone who wanted to see. That Trophy had been borne out of pain &amp; meant nothing but false love (damn Sirius for tricking his father like that!) &amp; murder to Harry. He wanted to destroy it. He felt his magic bubbling up almost the same way he had blown up Aunt Marge a few months ago.

"**It's in your blood ...your blood ..." ***

Harry knew he came from James Potter &amp; Lily Evans. Now he knew that James &amp; Lily only found each other after a brutal rape. "MY blood, Hermione?" His voice had come out altered, snarling, nearly evil. It didn't sound like him at all. He had never felt a rage like this before. With a sudden burst, the glass cabinet shattered &amp; his father's prize went crashing to the floor. "Mine? Only because my father bled for it first!" The glass shards clattered to the ground around him, tinkling like bits of ice. His exploding magic caught on the edges of every single piece to make them appear as if they burned on fire. His scar suddenly seared but then remained neutral. Rubbing the scar, he stooped to pick up the Trophy, planning to hurl it into space.

"HARRY!"

So startled was he by hearing someone call him, Harry slipped on the fiery glass pieces &amp; fell over, grabbing a large chunk of glass instead of the Trophy &amp; giving himself a long deep cut in the palm of his left hand.

"Harry," Lupin was over him in an instant. He pushed the Trophy away with one foot, out of reach of Harry, to get close enough &amp; pick the Boy Who Lived out of the glass shards set on a false fire. "Come here," He carried Harry bridal style across his arms out of the Trophy room before setting the boy on his feet at the top of the stairs. "Harry, what the bloody hell was that?" Lupin actually looked scared as he wrapped a strip of cloth he ripped from his robes around Harry's hand.

"I hate him! I HATE HIM SO MUCH!"

"Who?"

Harry sniffled. "S-Sirius Black!"

Lupin pushed Harry onto a low stone bench by the wall. Once the boy sat down, the wolf turned away &amp; entered the Trophy room. He spent a few moments repairing the glass. The fire-magic had gone by now, disappearing as Harry's outburst came to a close. Lupin came back &amp; sat beside Harry. Not realising what he was doing, he handed the Trophy over. "James won that in our 6th year."

"I know," Harry said.

"Which was weird," Lupin went on. "He was actually a Chaser. For some reason he switched to being a Seeker for the last two years of school."

"Two?" Harry stared at Lupin. Sweet Merlin, did the affair go on for two years? Harry was quite sure the title had said Passion Year, single.

"Yeah," Lupin seemed to stare off into the past for a bit. "Your dad was really weird during 6th Year." Harry closed his eyes for a moment. Did Remus know?

"How weird?" Harry dared to ask.

"Hmm, he stopped harassing Lily for one," Lupin snickered. Then he went very serious. "There was one time late into our 6th year, the last time Black's father came to Hogwarts &amp; well, Jim went ballistic on him." Harry gritted his teeth, waiting. Had his father taken his revenge? Lupin seemed to notice Harry was watching him intently. "Senior Black had a habit of using Crucio as punishment," he explained. "If held on to the victim long enough, it can cause insanity from the pain. Even death. It's a banned spell but he didn't care."

"You think Orion Black used that spell on my Dad?"

Lupin took a long time in replying. "Perhaps. There was something odd about Jim ever since we started 6th Year. Oh well," He sighed with an air of changing the subject. "He liked getting this though." Lupin took the Trophy back. Harry blinked. His father liked that thing? "I better go put it back." He did so, as Harry sat still, thinking about all the different ways he could hurt Sirius if he ever met that monster face to face.

"I'll kill you, Black," Harry muttered to himself, waiting.

"Harry," Lupin was suddenly standing in front of him, looking somber. "You're not the only one against Sirius Black. We all are."

"Do you hate him?"

Lupin was taken aback by that. "I...don't know what to feel actually." It reminded Harry so much of James, who had felt the same way once.

"He hurt you."

Lupin closed his eyes. It was so low, Harry barely heard it. "Very much so. More than you'll ever know."

Harry inwardly groaned. It was the other way around. He was the one who knew more. Harry stood up. "He'll pay for what he's done." He left Lupin behind without another word. As soon as he was out of sight, he pulled out the Map &amp; turned it on. "Protect your werewolf," Harry whispered to himself. "Don't worry Dad. I'll take care of him for you." He assumed that along with the Cloak &amp; gold, he probably inherited the pet 'fleabag' as well so he might as well take up the Marauder's vow. He at least, won't screw it up like Sirius Black did.

Harry looked for the spot labelled Sirius Black. He wandered aimlessly through the castle until suddenly, he noticed it. Down by the lake on the far side where the Quidditch Pitch was. Harry turned tail &amp; ran for it. He was going to get rid of that man once &amp; for all. He dashed outside, not bothering with the Invisibility Cloak. The Dementors could see through it. They drifted around the borders of Hogwarts &amp; didn't affect Harry to much as he sprinted across the grounds.

As he approached the Pitch, Harry went right, away from the lake, instead of left &amp; towards it. He went around behind the Pitch &amp; then dashed off into the edge of the forest. Here the Dementors were closer &amp; he felt the chill. Think happy. Harry remembered the relief he felt when Lupin had said Orion Black was dead &amp; clung onto that. It seemed to work. Harry dashed through the trees, heading for the lake. He knew what to look for.

The Black Lake stretched for miles away from Hogwarts &amp; part of it went into the forest. Harry headed there, checking the Map occasionally to make sure Sirius was ahead of him. He had probably gone for a drink. Harry burst out onto the shore of the lake, screaming stupefy &amp; a few other spells, sending them off in rapid succession in various directions. He glared around, but didn't see Sirius Black either as human or Grim form.

"BLACK!" Harry whirled around, looking every which way at once almost. "Come out! Here I am! Come out! I'll kill you! You hear me? I'LL BLOODY KI—UHH! OOF!" Harry had been knocked to the ground hard from somewhere behind. He fell flat on his face &amp; felt a pressure on his back. Harry spat out a mouthful of snow.

"Ya know," he heard a man's voice chuckle. "If I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead by now. Too easy. Just way too easy." The pressure disappeared. Harry spluttered &amp; turned over onto his back. Sirius was staring down at him with a soft smile &amp; Harry wondered darkly if Sirius had stared down at his father like that. "What the hell are you doing, boy?"

If Harry had a Galleon for every Marauder who asked him about hell today ... Harry stood up clumsily, slipping on stones &amp; rotten icy leaves. He held his wand out. "You—You—y—OW!" Harry's ankle slipped sideways, making him cross his heels &amp; do a pirouette on his way back down to the ground. He hated this! He hated this whole mess. This was not how it was supposed to happen. He hated Sirius. He hated. Period!

"You ok?" Sirius asked, pulling Harry up.

Now Harry hated the fact that he knew what voice James had heard when asked that exact same question in exactly the same way. Concern, almost as if he cared. "I'm fine, Black!" Harry snarled, taking a step.

He promptly sunk into an unseen hole under the snow right up to his knee. He winced as snow poured into his shoe, making his foot wet &amp; freezing. Sirius just looked down on him, a bemused expression on his face. "Oh for Merlin's sake! Today!" Harry tried to wrench himself free. He stared up at Sirius, thinking this might be the end of him. He was in a perfect position for Sirius to strike him down. Instead, he saw Sirius's lips twitch into a smile, those same lips that had taken care of his fath—oh good Merlin! Don't think of that! Especially not at this moment. "This isn't how I planned this,' Harry said stupidly, still tugging at his stuck leg. He glared up at Sirius who was still smiling at him. What a screwed up way to die! Harry suddenly burst out laughing, putting his face down to the ground, roaring with laughter.

"Yet they call me demented," Sirius actually snorted. Harry only laughed harder. Fact was, Sirius was right. He stood there like the bloody idiot James made him out to be, all calm &amp; normal yet here Harry half sat on &amp; half stood in the ground, stuck in a hole, awaiting his murder, laughing his arse off at the sheer stupidity of it all. "Yeah, you look fine!" Sirius finally laughed right along with Harry.

"Oh shut up!" Harry snarled at last. Suddenly his foot came free but his boot belonged to whatever animal lived in that hole. Damn it!

"What on Earth are you doing, little one?"

Harry glared at Sirius. "I've come to kill you."

"Really?" Sirius scoffed. "How embarrassing!" He burst out laughing almost as hard as Harry a moment before. "You're a pathetic excuse of a murderer then, Harry!"

"YOU'RE ONE TO TALK!" Harry screamed at him. "Oh just die already!' He held up his wand &amp; aimed for Sirius who neatly stepped aside. The tree trunk behind him exploded.

"Diffindo? Are you kidding me?" Sirius teased. "Come on Harry, surely you can do better than that? I don't even have a wand." He held up his hands &amp; wiggled his fingers in a 'come get me' way. Harry raised his wand again. Sirius tackled him muggle-style &amp; next thing Harry knew, he was face first on the ground again, eyes watering with both his arms pinned painfully behind his back. "Learned that from cop TV with Remus. Oh &amp; looky here. NOW I have a wand." He stood up &amp; let Harry go.

"GIVE IT BACK!"

"Or what? You kill me?" Sirius smirked at him. "Accio shoe." Harry's lost boot zoomed out of the hole into Sirius's waiting hand.

Harry dropped his head, chin to chest, &amp; charged like a Stag. Sirius stepped aside, having spent many years with an actual Stag. Harry crashed headlong into the blasted tree trunk. Harry whirled around, glaring &amp; massaging his head. His shoe fell beside him. Harry glared at it, then jammed his foot back in. Then he glared at Sirius.

"Want your wand, my sweet?" Sirius promptly shoved the thing down his prison-striped pants. "Come get it." Harry gaped at him. Sirius spread his hands, laughing.

"I hate you. I won't stop trying to kill you for as long as I live!"

"Everybody needs a hobby," Sirius muttered in a bored voice.

"Hobby?" Harry stared incredulously at him.

"Well what did you expect, Harry?" Sirius snickered at him. "Thinking to come charging in here to attack me. I heard you running a mile away. I'm a trained Auror, Harry. I was one of Dumbledore's best until I got into this mess. You think to overpower me? Look how much you failed &amp; I don't even have a wand. No offence, little one, but you're bloody pathetic. You're too noisy on the charge. You're too sloppy. This is what school's for. You're lucky you're not my target or you would be dead by now." Sirius shook his hips &amp; the Phoenix wand slipped down his right leg to sit on the toe of his worn out boot. "Here, take the damn thing. Bloody useless to you right now anyway." He kicked it into the air towards Harry who caught it.

Harry was about to ask who the target was, then thought with a horrific jolt: Remus! Remus was the target. Was Sirius taking out all his lovers? Protect your werewolf! "Dumbledore's best Auror? You? The right hand Death Eater of Voldemort? HOW DARE YOU!"

"I am no Death Eater!" Sirius seethed in a low dangerous voice. "How dare you come down here looking for me when you don't even know the whole story? You could have been killed. You're lucky I'm here to protect you, not harm you."

"I don't need protection," Harry glared, arms crossed. "Least of all from you."

Sirius looked Harry over before saying softly, "You look so much like your father."

False love. False love! "DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT MY FATHER!"

"Harry," Sirius began but he was suddenly wiped out as Lupin appeared out of no where &amp; slammed into Sirius. Both went sprawling to the ground.

"Harry run! Run NOW! GO! Get Dumbledore!" Harry fled for the castle as Remus struggled with Sirius on the ground. "Now you die!"

"Wait, Moo—"

Remus punched him. "You don't get to call me Moony!"

"You don't understand," Sirius tried again.

"You ripped my heart out of my chest!" Remus cut in. "I understand quite enough, thank you very much! I should have known since that wasn't the first time you did that to me, was it Black? Oh no! 5th Year, trying to feed me Snape! That should have been a warning flag!"

"Remus! I am so sorry for that!"

"I DON'T CARE!" Remus growled &amp; bit Sirius on the throat. Moony &amp; Padfoot were in battle once more. Padfoot pulled free but not without ripping his flesh away from Moony's fangs. He ran. "COWARD!" Remus took off after him. "You coward! Get back here!" He stopped as he saw the ray of Light take off. Any Auror can ride the Light into or out of a situation. Remus had no license to be an Auror &amp; he couldn't keep up. The ray of Light was gone in a blink. Remus dropped to his knees, crying. "Coward." He whispered to himself. He had missed. How the hell did he miss?

Dumbledore had sent several people in the direction Lupin pointed them in but Sirius was not to be found. Lupin took care of the next Dark Arts defensive lesson, not looking at Harry once. As the classroom got up to leave at the end of the lesson, he finally seemed to notice that Harry was there.

"Remain behind, Potter," Lupin all but snarled.

Potter. Not Harry. Lupin was the only professor the students had who had used their first names. Harry gulped &amp; stayed at his desk, wondering if he was still a puppy. Ron &amp; Hermione tried to linger, but Lupin tossed them out.

Lupin came to stand in front of Harry, glaring down at him, arms folded. "I have lost James. I have lost Lily. I have lost Peter &amp; yes, I have lost even Sirius. I will not lose you! How stupid can you be? Huh? HOW STUPID?! Jim had his dumb moments but he would never have done something that incredibly stupid! What is wrong with you?" He huffed, pushing a hand through his greying hair. "_Mmm merde!"_

"Merde?"

"French for shit &amp; don't interrupt when I'm yelling at you!"

"Sorry," Harry stared at the floor.

"_Desolé_," Lupin said. "That's French for sorry." Harry nodded mutely. "You idiot!" Harry jumped as Lupin actually turned &amp; kicked over the nearest desk. "What is WRONG with you?I had a feeling you would go around looking for Black, so I followed you. I didn't think you would find him but just in case, I followed you. You're lucky I did. Now," He sighed &amp; seemed to calm down a little. He stood in front of Harry again but this time he put his hands on the top of Harry's desk &amp; leaned towards him. He was so close that for the first time, Harry could see the longer more K9-style pointed teeth whenever Lupin spoke. "Do you know how many points Gryffindor has?"

"Um," Harry thought back to the last time he bothered to glance at the hourglasses either by the main doors or the smaller ones behind the High Table of the Great Hall. "148?"

"You're at 345 &amp; in the lead," Lupin said. "Or at least you were. For your incredible stupid lack of judgement &amp; nearly getting yourself killed—"

"No! Don't!" Harry suddenly realised with a horror what Lupin was about to do.

"345 points from Gryffindor!"

"NO!" Harry stood up. "PLEASE! I'll do anything. Detentions. Expulsion! Anything! Don't hurt my—our—whole House!"

"Shut up or I'll put you in the minuses!" Lupin retorted. "Now get out! Do something like that again, I'll off your miserly hide myself &amp; save both Black &amp; Voldemort the trouble. Understand? Now get! Another 50 points from Gryffindor for taking too long! LEAVE!" He turned away, though Harry could have sworn that he saw tears in Lupin's eyes. He had scared the wolf. Protect your werewolf. Idiot! Do that but next time, don't let the wolf know! James had the right idea it seemed in not telling Remus things. Harry turned &amp; had the door half-open. Minus 50 points! How would they ever catch up? "Oh &amp; Harry? I think I did you wrong when we started Patronus lessons. It all went to your head. You think you can go running off waving some spell you only half-learned. Don't bother coming back in the evenings. I'm not providing you with more lessons on that one."

"But Sir! The game!"

"OUT!" Lupin pointed at the door. "Or I'll find some way of benching your arse permanently from Quidditch to, in case you plan to go flying after Black on your broom. Maybe I'll snap that blasted Firebolt in two. That should do the trick if you don't leave this instant!" Harry left quickly. The moment the door closed, Remus dropped into his seat behind the teacher's desk &amp; plunged forward over its surface, burying his face in his arms. An inkbottle went crashing to the floor &amp; a quill poked into the back of his right hand. Without raising his face, he flicked it aside. "Sirius! God! Why are you doing this to me? What did I do wrong? Why do you hate me so?" It took nearly an hour for the sobs to subside. Not even chocolate helped.

The next morning, there was a fervent chatter as nearly the entire Gryffindor House had gathered around the larger hourglasses by the main doors.

"Harry!" Neville came running up to him. "Look! LOOK! Gryffindor is minus 50 points!" Harry stared glumly at it.

"What bastard is responsible for that?"

"What did they do?"

"I'll kill them!"

Harry wisely kept his mouth shut as his entire House bemoaned their frustrations.

"Gotta be a mistake. Maybe the thing's jammed." Whoever said that promptly kicked the hourglass, only to end up hopping on the spot.

"It is no mistake," Dumbledore's voice suddenly boomed over their heads. "Now, off to breakfast." Harry was grateful that Dumbledore didn't offer more explanation, but then the old wizard glared at him for a few moments. Damn it. He knew.

Well of course he must have. Lupin must have discussed the deduction with him, probably McGonagall too judging by the way she glared at Harry as she past, before actually doing it.

Harry skipped breakfast.

* * *

***From 'Harry Potter &amp; The Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone' movie **

_(AN:_ _Oh &amp; yes, I ripped off a line of Sylar's from Heroes. No I don't care. Heroes fans will see it LOL)_


	7. Chapter 7

_(AN: There will be a bit of French &amp; French Canadienne ahead. Such words will be misspelled on purpose if from James's POV...just saying so people won't have to try correcting me here. Lol)_

* * *

**(7) Kiss Of The Wolf**

My heart pounding, I lay awake most of the night, mulling over what had just happened. Sirius had touched me. I let him do it &amp; I ended up liking it. Merlin's sake, had I just been seduced?

No, it was just to help me. Padfoot had taken out most of the infection from my old wounds that Bellatrix had given me. But I had felt more than I had expected. I never thought I could feel something like that again. I was half-hard that night which kept me 'up' until the sun started to appear.

* * *

"Dad, 'sirius-ly'?" Harry blinked. Wait. "ARGH! Now I'M doing that!"

* * *

I left it alone though. Right now it wasn't really hurting but I knew if I tried, it would hurt again. Often, I caught myself glancing at Sirius sleeping in his bed across from mine. Potions or Padfoot. I knew another round would have me right as new, but would it stop there? Or would it continue for a bit? Did I want it to?

I waited as usual for the others to finish their morning showers. I had yet to share showers with anyone since coming back. I finally entered alone, only to find Sirius there. He was standing at the mirrors, checking out his long hair that was just past shoulder length &amp; had only his towel wrapped around him. Ok, I was not ready for something that close yet. I turned to leave.

"Oh morning Jim," He said casually as if nothing was the matter. He was still staring at his hair. "Can you help me a moment? I could have sworn I saw a grey hair."

I rolled my eyes. Sirius could be as vain as a woman at times. "You're nearly 17. How can you have grey hairs?"

"Remus has some greys," Sirius pointed out.

I scoffed. "Um hello? He's a freakin' moon mutt if you haven't noticed! OF COURSE he'll have some grey hairs. You on the other hand, have no excuse except vanity."

"Oh yeah?" Sirius actually shoved his tongue into one cheek as if licking his chops, much the same way our Moon Dog does a lot, usually right before or after chewing on something important that he knew wasn't allowed. "What's wrong with that?"

"Oh come here," I marched over &amp; grabbed his face to make him stay still. I pretended to inspect his hair. "Oh yeah, you're right. I'll get it out. Put you're head down." Once his head was down, I took hold of a couple of his hairs &amp; said "Accio greys." Then I promptly ripped two random hairs out.

"OW!" Sirius clapped both hands onto his head. "Bloody hell, Prongs!"

"Oh you're such a baby," I teased, holding up the pulled hairs. "Hmm, nothing new here. Just some nice shiny black hairs, Black." I handed them over.

"I hate you," Sirius rubbed his head. "What are you here for anyway?"

"A shower," I pointed at the stalls. "Same as you."

"Oh, right," He was still grousing about his hurt head. "By the way, I got something for you." He put a vial on the counter. "In case you need it."

I felt my teeth clench &amp; forced them back open. He had gone straight to the point. "I...I don't know."

"Whatever you choose, be quick about it," Sirius dropped his tower right in front of me &amp; stepped into one of the stalls. "The sooner that heals completely, the better." He closed the door.

I stared at the door as he turned the water on. My choice was a bit tougher now. I looked at the vial. I took it, then put it back. That potion could heal my physical wounds but there was nothing for the horror of it. I picked up the vial again.

"Tabrenack!" (I have no idea how to spell French, either from France or Canada.) Sirius swore in French Canadienne as something hit his foot. Remus says that this word is the Canadienne equivalent of the English F-word. He had picked up several Canadienne words during last summer &amp; we all had found it so funny that those strange people swear using church terms that it was all we said for a while.

I took the potion, then got undressed, feeling nervous even though I knew Sirius wouldn't hurt me. I went into my own shower stall, waited for a minute, then came out &amp; leaned on the door-frame where Sirius was. That was as far as I could go. I'm amazed I went this far. I had no idea what I was doing or what I wanted. I stared at the floor until Sirius finally finished &amp; opened the door to come out. He yelped &amp; leaned back against the inner wall.

"You scared me," Sirius gasped. I wanted to say that he scared me to, but why would he? I had been so safe with him last night. We stared at each other for an eternity. "Come in here," He finally said &amp; I could do nothing but blindly obey him. The moment the door closed, I realised just how close we would be. "You're still dry." He turned the water back on &amp; I closed my eyes as he wetted my hair.

I soon felt his hands caressing my shoulders &amp; then my upper back. I felt soap suds running down my body, followed often by his hands. He didn't touch anything to personal &amp; he barely grazed over my lower back &amp; hips where the focal point of my distress was. He rinsed me off &amp; then unbidden, he knelt before me.

I put my hands on the opposite wall &amp; felt the warmth of his mouth again. I didn't pull away. I didn't move at all for I knew that moving would hurt. I occasionally half-thrusted without thinking.

Which made me want more.

Which made me grind my teeth as I felt a familiar build up again.

As before, it seemed to happen in slow-motion. I was lying on the floor of the stall for nearly a minute. When I found my voice, I said, "You didn't change to Padfoot."

"You didn't need it," Sirius said. "You're all healed. Took the potion, did you?"

"Yeah," I pushed my sodden fringe out of my eyes. "Figured I shouldn't let it go to waste."

"You still came to my door though."

"Yeah," I sighed. "Sorry."

Sirius laughed. "Would you quit it with the apologies?"

"Sor—" I shut up. "Well...well you invited me in!"

"Yeah," His eyes shifted down to a point below my waist. "Figured I shouldn't let it go to waste." I glared at him but he only laughed.

I leaned against the back wall of the stall. He was on the floor as well, next to me. Half-smiling, naked as I was, he watched me with unblinking eyes. "Sirius," I finally dared to breathe. "Now what?"

"Well, its Quidditch practise today."

"I meant with us!"

"You have but to ask," he stood up, then reached down for me. "This is going to hurt."

I knew that. After what Remus accidentally did to me during our full moon, I came to expect a lot of pain whenever I would get up. Sirius went under my arms to help lift me up. It didn't hurt as much as the full moon, but I still felt my tailbone seize. Yelping, I turned into Sirius's grip, felt something I probably shouldn't have &amp; jumped back with such force that it felt like my tailbone was smashed.

"Easy," Sirius put a hand on my shoulders to hold me up. "Breathe &amp; relax. It'll pass." We stood in silence while the throbbing subsided to a dull ache. "You didn't have to do that," Sirius actually smirked. "I've touched you twice now. Looks like I still owe you one." He turned &amp; opened the door to let us out.

"Three times."

"Oh?"

I squinted at him to see more clearly. "Padfoot, who cleaned up my wounds on that same day while I was passed out?"

"Hey now, that doesn't count!" Sirius looked aghast. "I didn't take advantage of you then &amp; besides, you didn't feel whatever I did do, which was minimal to begin with."

"I'm teasing, Siri!" I managed a weak laugh.

"Uh huh," he wasn't impressed.

"I'll try being the Seeker," I said as I finally came out of the shower.

Sirius gave my hand a soft squeeze. "I'll help you."

We purposely arrived last at the Quidditch Pitch. Most of the team was already out of the changing rooms. Sirius went in first. I watched the last few team mates leave &amp; enter the Pitch, then Sirius pulled me inside. He was already changed.

"Give me your broom," he held out a hand for it. I passed it over. "Go get changed. I'll deal with this." He locked the door &amp; sealed it with a charm so no one would walk in on us then focused on the broom.

I took my time to change, wondering if I could even do this. We took so long that Charlotte actually pounded on the door. "BLACK! POTTER! Are you having sex in there or something?"

I stared horrified. Sirius burst out laughing. "Maybe!" What a freakin' IDIOT! "Want to join us?" I blinked like an owl. Ok…NOW he's a freakin' idiot! I HATE HIM!

"HURRY UP!" She shrieked at us. "Practise should have started fifteen minutes ago!" She thudded on the door again before stomping off.

"What did you say that for?" I exclaimed, glaring at Sirius. He just laughed again &amp; returned to adding magical padding to the broom.

I was finally changed &amp; he handed me the broom. It didn't look any different. I took it, still glaring. "Oh relax!" Sirius laughed at me. "Everyone knows I sleep around. They won't really believe we're together." At that, he exited the changing rooms. I followed, face burning. Why was I even blushing anyway? I wasn't in love with the guy. With that thought in mind, I felt my cheeks burn even hotter &amp; I finally couldn't wait to get in the air.

"Sorry, couldn't find my playing robes," was my feeble excuse. Sirius winked at me. He bloody winked! I'M GONNA KILL HIM! I'll personally hand-feed him to our werewolf! Oh I'm mad! I have no idea why, but I'm mad.

"In the air!" Charlotte ordered, just as furious as I was. "Potter, remember. You're Seeker now." She flew up without another word.

I gingerly mounted my broom &amp; felt the cushions of shielding placed upon it. It was like sitting down into an armchair. I followed Sirius into the sky &amp; then took off even higher &amp; adjusted my glasses while I waited for the Snitch to be released.

The rest of practise happened smoothly for me. I didn't pay much attention to the others &amp; I liked that. I heard Charlotte ranting at someone but since it wasn't me, I didn't care. I was soon following a glint of gold. Sirius flew past me occasionally, once or twice asking if I was fine, but ultimately, I was left to my own devices.

The Snitch soon swooped downward to the stands right towards Peter &amp; Remus who had been watching. I dived after it. Remus &amp; I both grabbed it at the same time. I clasped my hand around the ball. Remus bit a wing.

"Oh let go!" I snarled, tugging. Peter snickered. Remus whined, then smirked &amp; let go. "Crazy mutt. I'll give you something to chew on." I tossed him a chocolate bar &amp; took off. I returned to the sky without showing off the Snitch. "Urgh! Wolf slobber &amp; venom!" I'll have to let Sirius know that Moony needed to be milked. It would be an easy process, but the wolf didn't like it. Oh well, none of us care. So there!

* * *

Harry scratched his nose. "Milked? He's a boy though. How can he be milked?" Thoroughly confused, Harry read on, hoping his Dad would explain that.

* * *

Once I finished cleaning the Snitch off, I let the team know I had it. Charlotte called us down. I hovered beside Sirius &amp; leaned over to whisper about Moony. He rolled his eyes.

"Well, not a bad job considering," Charlotte was glaring at me. "We need to get our timing up to par." She cast a nasty glance at Sirius, which was two-fold. She was an ex-girlfriend of his &amp; didn't like the fact that he had moved on. Sirius had a major flaw. He was known as a heartbreaker. I often wondered if he was capable of being with a wolf. Would he break my heart?

Where did that idea come from?

"Potter, I know you can do better," Charlotte was saying. "I've seen you fly faster. I've seen you show up on time."

"I got it," I muttered. She announced the next training session for the day after tomorrow &amp; then led the team back to the changing rooms. I put a hand on Sirius's shoulder to slide off my broom. Once on the ground, I wobbled as a weird sensation went up my legs.

I had felt that several times before, having taken riding lessons as a kid. I couldn't believe it. I was bloody saddle sore! I've never felt like that from a broom before. It must have been the cushions Sirius put on which made a sort of saddle, invisible though it was. Great!

"I'll uh, I'll work on that one," Sirius said, a sheepish grin on his face. I rolled my eyes &amp; walked as straight as possible to the changing rooms.

Afterwards later that evening, the four of us went up to the Astronomy Tower &amp; pushed aside a loose wall that led onto a hidden balcony. Then Sirius, Peter &amp; I ganged up on Remus. He hissed like a wildcat as we forced him down. Peter held him while Sirius prised open his jaws. I held a thin folded cloth &amp; pressed into his mouth, feeling around behind those fangs for the venom sacs. I pressed down on each one, letting the cloth soak up the black sticky venom, like black honey. Remus growled as I moved to the next one. I managed to get three done before he bit my hand right through. That's fine. Who cares? There's three of us &amp; one of you buddy! I switched to Prongs to nullify Moony's venom while Sirius took over &amp; finished him off.

* * *

Harry raised his brow. "So he does bite!" He decided to be extra careful around Lupin since, unlike his father, Harry didn't know Animagic. He read over the milking process again &amp; realised it was something akin to milking snakes for the venom. Harry still didn't get why though.

* * *

"This would be so much simpler if you didn't fight us, Moony!" Sirius complained as I changed back to myself once the stinging sensation was gone. "Oh don't fuss! You feel much better now that the pressure's gone, don't you? Hmm? What do you have to say for yourself?" Remus pushed Sirius down &amp; crawled on top of him. "Hmm? Whine? Is that all you can say?" Remus whined like a dog, licking his chops, then he promptly slobberkissed Sirius on the face. Sirius groaned, wiping the kiss off. "Come on Moony! Get off." Sirius tried to push. "Remus! You're squashing me! Why don't you go say hello to Jim, eh?"

"No thanks!" I quickly said, laughing at Sirius. "You know I hate it when he slobberkisses. How many times to I have to say I'm a cat person?"

"OUCH!" Sirius yelped as Remus's knee made a permanent imprint into his liver. "MOONY! GET O—"

Slobberkiss. Remus then rolled off onto his back. It was Moony taking over, looking for a belly rub. We Marauders had merged the man with the wolf. This may be a human body, but the mind switched easily between entities. To tell them apart in human form, one had to look at the eyes. Remus was green while Moony was a bright glowing yellow amber.

The creature was giving us a golden glare, upside-down. Most people would either run from or kill this being if they saw that look, but a golden glare meant little to us.

"Here," Peter held out a chocolate. "Moony. Come here" Remus half sat up, whining. If he had his tufted tail it would probably be wagging.

One of the first things we had learned about Remus when we all first met so many years ago now it seemed, was that he had a sweet tooth. Once we figured out he was a werewolf, we decided to raise, tame &amp; train him using chocolate. So far, it seemed to be working.

Now, if we can get him to kick that damned slobberkissing habit that would be great.

Slobberkiss.

That was my face this time &amp; I found I was relieved of my latest pair of glasses. I pulled out a spare pair &amp; put them on, hearing the sickening 'crunch' of fangs on lens. Oh well.

As the werewolf mind inverted once more, we settled into teamed Exploding Snap Remus &amp; I on one against Sirius &amp; Peter on the other. Knowing we would regret it, we played well into the night &amp; didn't get to bed until almost four. Oh well, Binns was our second class of the day. Perfect time to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**(8) Something Wrong**

Since Lupin's class was right after lunch the next day, Harry spent the free time in the library, reading up on wolves. They formed close-knit family packs. All pitched in to take care of puppies. They had ranks like a military.

None of the books explained the milking process however; though, Harry did try to read about werewolves as well. There was nothing much on them &amp; what was there didn't match up with the Marauders. Mostly, Harry read the same thing. Werewolves were killing machines. There was no cure. If you saw one, it was best to destroy it.

Harry had a feeling that the Marauders had dealt with Remus as they would a common wolf &amp; Remus had responded as predicted. They had formed his pack &amp; he, Harry, was the only pup (that he knew of) born into the pack so far. Harry became so engrossed in one book about Timber wolves of America that he didn't notice Lupin standing over him.

"Reading about wolves Harry?"

Harry jumped clean out of the chair. The book literally went flying back to its place on a high shelf. "Um, nothing. School stuff."

"School stuff," Lupin echoed, rather coolly. "I'll see you in class."

Harry watched him leave. He arrived last in class &amp; sat at the back once more. They studied Lethifolds &amp; Harry forever looked twice before using the Invisibility Cloak again. When the class filed out, Harry stayed at his desk. Lupin took a long time in noticing him.

"Did you forget something, Potter?" He finally muttered.

Slow to forgive. Harry gritted his teeth. "I know what you are."

Lupin didn't turn around. "Oh really? What am I?" His voice was cold.

"A werewolf."

Lupin's back snapped so straight &amp; so fast, it was a wonder it didn't break. He turned quickly to look at Harry. "I'm—I'm sorry!" He whispered, glancing to the window for a moment. Looking back at Harry, he added. "I'll leave." He turned &amp; headed for the steps going up to the office.

Harry jumped up &amp; ran to the bottom stair. "Look, I'm sure you've already had a similar conversation with my father." Lupin paused on the balcony. "He figured you out to, didn't he? They all did! You didn't leave then. You won't leave now, so let's just skip ahead."

"How do you even know all that?" Lupin whirled around to glare down the stairs at Harry.

"You told me!" Harry said. "In a matter of speaking. You disappear regularly &amp; you described to me the other day how you lost them all, even Black. They were like a pack to you, weren't they?"

"Harry, you must think very badly of me," said Lupin.

"No, why would I?" Harry shrugged. "So I have to throw you out once a month. I don't really care."

"Thanks," Lupin muttered. Then he burst out in one breath, "But I mean Black. If I had known...back then—if I...Harry," his voice broke. "I thought he was a good friend."

"That's a lie!" Harry snapped. "You thought he was your lover."

"HAROLD!"

"Oh please! It's obvious!"

Lupin fell to sit cross-legged on the balcony. "I thought Hermione was a clever one! Boy, did I ever under-estimate you!" He tried to wipe tears from his eyes, but they continued to fall. Harry felt a little guilty. He wasn't half as good as Hermione. He actually knew all this thanks to his father but there was no way he would expose the Passion Year diary to anyone. How could he? Lupin finally found his voice. "How long have you known this? Any of it, I mean?"

Since about a month before Christmas. "Oh well," Harry shrugged. "Long enough. A couple of months now, I guess."

Lupin suddenly stopped crying &amp; he cocked his head slightly. Harry saw a tinge of gold shine through the green. Moony was stirring. Uh oh. "A few ... months?"

"Look, I didn't mean to upset you," Harry tried to mollify the inner wolf. He didn't know Animagic.

"I'm not upset."

"You're not?" Harry felt relieved.

"Nope. Not upset at all." Lupin stood up. "_**I'M FURIOUS!"**_

"Errr—" Harry ran backwards several paces as Lupin suddenly sprung, clearing the railing to land neatly on his toes like a cat on the floor below, hissing. He was nearly in front of Harry. "Um I don't know Animagic so don't bi—"

"You know about Animagic? HOW?"

Harry thought wildly. Then he remembered. "Professor McGonagall."

"Oh," Lupin let that one slide. He put a hand out, grabbed Harry by the front of his collar &amp; yanked him forward so that they were nose to nose. His eyes were pure Egyptian gold. "You knew all of that for a few months? You knew I had lost my pack. You knew you're all I have left. You knew Sirius was more to me than a friend. YET YOU STILL WENT AFTER HIM?! Boy! I ought to eat you!"

"Please don't," Harry whimpered.

He held up one long index finger. "Be grateful that Remus has kept me from tasting human flesh! Or I would eat you!"

"You're Mmm—the wolf."

"Brilliant deduction, you ridiculous puppy!" Moony shoved Harry back so that he hit the wall. Harry gulped. He didn't expect this. His father had yet to write about Moony talking to them as Remus would. "It is not your place to kill Padfoot. It is mine! It'll break the marriage bond." Harry gaped at him. "Then I can be free. Remus is right. We should have known by our 5th year but hindsight is a cruel bitch. Can't mate with it!"

"Yeah, no, I guess not," Harry stammered. "Um, chocolate?"

"What?"

"I would like to speak to Professor Lupin right now," Harry said, cautiously stepping towards the werewolf. He WAS tamed...right? "If I give you some chocolate, will you go away for a bit?" Up on his toes, Moony stalked around Harry. His father was right, the only difference in human form was the eyes. These eyes were still blazing gold. Where was the green?

"You think chocolate can appease me?"

"Isn't that what Dad used to train you with?"

"Oh I let them all think that," Moony replied. "Fact is, the only leash on me has only ever been this," He patted his body with his hands. "Right here. Remus has battled me since he was four. I make him pay for it twice in one night per month."

Harry had to steer this out of very danger waters right now. He hadn't expected to talk to Moony at all. Why didn't his Dad get around to mentioning that Moony could speak sooner? "But Dad tamed you!"

"Your father was terrified of me," Moony said. "He never liked me. It was always Remus. He's the special one."

"That's not exactly true," Harry said.

"James was cynophobic since before he even went to Hogwarts the first year," Moony pointed out. "Some dog bit him on his left eye when he was eight. He had a mini almond shape scar on the upper eyelid from it for the rest of his life. He hated dogs!"

"Yet he stayed with you until his end," said Harry, wanting every bit to scream at Moony that his father had suffered even rape to keep him safe. Harry was beginning to wonder if he should mention that fact, if only to keep from being eaten.

"Remus, not me," Moony said. "Everybody loves Remus."

Harry backed away but Moony kept up with him. "Ya know, maybe if you weren't so threatening, people would like you to." Sweet God &amp; Merlin that was a stupid thing to say.

"I'm not threatening you. Not yet."

"Well, you're kind of in my personal space," Harry tried to step away again, but still Moony followed. "Back up a bit, would you?" Moony raised one brow in a Spock sort of way but backed up two steps. Harry motioned with his hand. "Little more, please." Moony smirked &amp; backed up all the way to the wall &amp; leaned on it, folding his arms. "Thank you."

"You do know I can just jump on you from here, right?" Moony said.

Harry didn't know that. "It's the principle of the matter. As Remus or M—wolf, you ought to respect personal space, right?"

"I sup—" Moony suddenly doubled over with a grunt.

"Are you ok?" Harry kept his distance.

"Are you?" Lupin looked up. The eyes were green. He stared at Harry. "Oh Merlin, what have I done?"

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"He came out, didn't he? He was here."

"I think he was just testing me," Harry said. "To see how I'd respond."

"If that wolf had hurt you," Lupin began.

"I'd make Hermione neuter him," Harry smirked. "Don't think she can't do it either." Hermione also knew that Lupin was a werewolf; though how, Harry didn't quite know. It was why he didn't say anything when Ron had once wondered exactly what was wrong with Lupin &amp; Hermione had scoffed at him. Harry knew exactly what Hermione was referring to, but until he got his Firebolt back, he wasn't about to ask her how she found out.

Lupin stared, then burst out laughing. "So something Jim would have said!" He laughed more, before adding, "But if he had hurt you, I'd never forgive Moony...or myself."

"Moony," Harry was glad the name was out. Now he wouldn't slip up.

"Yeah," Lupin laughed. "Ridiculous as it was, they named my wolf Moony."

"Cute name," Harry said.

Lupin glowered &amp; his eyes flickered yellow for an instant. "I know you want to talk about your father, Harry. I promise you, someday we'll have a long talk about it. Just not now. Not until," He waved his hand at the window where a Dementor had floated past. "Not until this is all over. If you know what I am &amp; you know what...what Black is...to me, please try to understand."

"You have other things on your mind right now."

Lupin stared long &amp; hard at Harry. "Black must die, Harry. It's the onl—worst mistake of my life. Harry, I need to be free."

"Wolves mate for life."

Lupin nodded. "It's the real reason I came here. I had actually refused this job. I didn't want to come back to Hogwarts. Too many memories. You're here &amp; I didn't...I didn't want to see you at first. I thought it would just drive home the memory of everything I lost. Then he got out &amp; I found a way out of this mess."

Harry stared. Sirius had talked about getting out of a mess as well. He was not Sirius's target. Harry was convinced now that Remus was the target. "Sir, I'm not his target."

"What are you talking about?"

Harry launched into an explanation of what Sirius had told him. "I'm not his target. You are."

"That doesn't make any sense," said Lupin. "You block his way to Voldemort. Why wouldn't he want you dead?"

"He said he was here to protect me, not kill me."

"Oh &amp; you believe him?" Lupin nearly snapped.

"Well, Sir. He's had plenty of chances to kill me," Harry said. "I mean I was stuck in a hole. He had my wand. He's been wandering around out there the same time I have since the start of the school year."

Lupin turned away to stare out the window. "Something's wrong. This whole thing is all wrong." He turned back to Harry. "Black probably wants us both dead. You for obvious reasons &amp; me just to get out of the marriage bond. He used to be quite the man-ho before I got mixed up with him. That's his problem. Black's a seducer." Harry tried not to make any noise on the subject. He already knew all to well about that one. "Get pulled into his web, then BAM!" Lupin clapped his hands together. "He has you trapped. But he messed with the wrong wolf. I will end it."

"I feel something's wrong to," Harry said under breath, forgetting that he was in the presence of a wolf.

"How so?"

Harry quickly covered with, "Fact is, he still didn't kill me." In reality, he kept thinking about his father's writings. How could that person who helped his father be that same person out there right now? They were definitely missing something.

"Look Harry, I have no idea why he didn't murder you the other day," Lupin said. 'I don't care what he wants, he can't have you. You're all I have left." He looked out the window for a moment before saying, "If you have half an idea of the pain I'm in right now."

"I do," Harry said simply. Lupin scoffed &amp; rolled his eyes. "No, I do. It's like your soul's been...well been raped."

Lupin stared at him. "Well put," he hung his head.

Harry had Potions next. He left Lupin &amp; headed for the dungeons barely in time. Between classes &amp; during meal breaks, he came to a decision. Harry had been planning to stop reading the Passion Year memoirs as he felt a little guilty delving in to his father's personal affairs. But two things bugged him. Remus had mentioned that Orion Black had visited Hogwarts during that year. Harry wondered if his father had written about getting his revenge &amp; was curious to know what he did.

But the second thing was, his father had planned to burn that diary yet there it lay for years behind a false wall. Was there a reason James didn't burn it?

Something was definitely wrong.

Why did Sirius Black let him live?


	9. Chapter 9

**(9) A Hard Task**

"Mr. Potter, if you wish to become an Auror, you will focus on the lesson!"

I started, sitting up straighter. "Yes Ma'am!"

"Now, can you or can you not tell me how to perform the Disillusion Charm?"

McGonagall glared at me with her hawk-like stare. I cleared my throat. Sirius snickered. I swung my foot under the desk &amp; kissed him.

{The word kissed was crossed out.}

KICKED! Damn it, what the hell?

"Yes, Ma'am," I said, as Sirius grunted in pain.

After a long minute, McGonagall said, "Well? I'm waiting."

"Right," I cleared my throat again as Sirius put his forehead on the desk in silent laughter. I kicked—KICKED!—him again, then explained the charm. She was happy with my explanation, but not on the time I took. I don't think I earned any points for it. Oh well. I found myself looking at him again.

I had been stealing glasses at him whenever I could.

{The word glasses was crossed out.}

GLANCES! What the "tabrenack" is wrong with me?!

* * *

Harry burst out laughing. "Oh wow! You got it bad, man!"

* * *

I don't even know why I'm correcting my mistakes. No one's going to read this anyway. This is just for me to let it all out.

* * *

"Hmm, sorry Dad. No can do," Harry muttered. "Something's come up." He paused, then rolled his eyes. "Bet you'd love that one, Dad." He sighed before going on. "I'll just have to pretend it's Peter or Remus you're falling for."

* * *

Must be the perfectionist in me.

ANYway ...I had been doing this for the past couple days ever since our first Quidditch practice. During our next training, I noticed he might have been watching me as well. Yes we showed up on time. I caught the Snitch much sooner than before &amp; without Moony's help.

I left that practise feeling as stiff as before. Not like that either! Whatever. Anyway, my saddle sore at least was something I could handle. It wasn't bad &amp; by the next afternoon, it was gone again.

It was the actual game that killed me. The game was much longer than a training session. I was fine while flying. It was a hard game from what I could see below &amp; I was glad I was no longer a Chaser as both of them got rather bloodied up. I took one hit to my left side which made my body seize up in protest but then I finally saw the Snitch &amp; managed to catch it soon after. We won by a mere twenty points though. It was a very close game!

I did not come to land with the others since I knew the whole team would want to lift me up. That would hurt me &amp; I don't like being touched anyway. Well, I'm not minding Sirius, but he hasn't done that to me again since our shower. Also I knew I would have the worst saddle sore of my life once I did get off, so instead I did a few victory laps, upside-down, making the fans scream my name.

I didn't like that for some reason. All those eyes watching me. I knew girls other than Lily were wishing to be on my arm &amp; now I knew there were probably aspiring young men there as well. I quickly swooped right into the changing room to get off before everyone else came clamouring in.

I had never reacted to my fa—THE fans—in that way before. I used to revel in it. Now, it scared me away. Sirius was the first one in &amp; put one arm around my shoulder protectively while screaming our victory to the rest of them. He kept us close to the wall so the others couldn't get to me well. If not for Sirius being there beside me, I think I would have cried again. But I was able to smile &amp; shake everyone's hands. Sirius finally got rid of everyone by saying there was to be a huge party in the Tower so hurry up &amp; get there. Everyone ran for the Tower to start the party without us, leaving just me alone with Sirius.

"You ok?"

"No," I whispered. I was shaking from head to foot. "I can barely walk."

"I tried to adjust that saddle thing," Sirius passed a hand through his hair.

"That too," I tried to stand still, explaining to him my odd reaction.

He put a hand on my face. "If anyone so much as looks at you in a way you don't like, let me know." I nodded mutely, knowing it was silly to tell him that I thought everyone but him was looking at me wrong. "Come on. Let me help you to the castle."

I took a step forward, then promptly crumpled to the floor. Sirius pulled me up &amp; held me until I was able to stretch out my saddle sore a bit. Barely enough to walk, but I forced myself straight &amp; headed out the door with him by my side.

"Hi James."

My eyes barely took her in. Lily. Here. What the hell? I thought she hated me? I NEEDED her to hate me right now!

* * *

Harry read that line over &amp; over again. His mother was finally being mentioned. He knew she would probably show up sooner or later. After all they had gotten married &amp; then Harry was here.

* * *

"Hi Evans," I said.

She tucked some loose red hair behind her ear. "You're a good Seeker. That was some great flying out there."

"Um thanks," I tried looking at her again. I caught her eye, then looked at a point just above her head.

"So uh, I'll see you at the party," she said.

"Ok," I dared look at her again. Every time I looked at her, all I can think of is what Orion Black stole from me. From us! Looking at her...ripped my heart out. Over &amp; over &amp; over. She waved at us, then turned &amp; ran out of sight towards the castle. I let the tears fall. Again. "Sirius!"

"I'm here," he took me in his arms &amp; held me for several minutes. He finally led the way towards the castle.

We took our shortcuts up to the 7th floor but Sirius didn't bring us to the Tower. We went instead to a place where a room sometimes showed up if you thought about it long enough. I stood still, not knowing what he had in mind, as he marched back &amp; forth three times, then went in.

It was a white room with a large bed. He pointed at it. "Get undressed &amp; lie down."

"Undressed?"

"Completely." Sirius opened a small cupboard &amp; pulled something out. Vials of something or other. "I'm going to get rid of that saddle sore. It's my fault you have it." He looked up at me &amp; half-smiled. "Don't you trust me?"

"Yeah." I moved slowly, to avoid my tense muscles. I laid down on my tummy across the bed.

"How's your side?" Sirius sat down beside me, rubbing his hands together. They were shiny with some sort of oil.

"I'll get another bruise," I answered. "I'm used to bruises by now.

"I'll take care of that first," He began to work some oil into the area. "I know why you can't look at her, Jim." I merely grunted. "Same reason you don't like your fans any more." He started massaging my shoulders next. "We'll stay here for the night."

"What if she asks Moony or Wormtail where we are?" This place may not show up on that Map no matter how many spells we threw at the parchment, but not showing up was also a tell-tale sign of where we would be.

Sirius pointed to where my glasses where lying on a small stand. Our Map was right beside them. "Let her ask."

He continued to rub me down, his pressure becoming lighter as he worked towards my tailbone &amp; hips. I felt my face burn as he moved downwards. This massage was the most erotic thing I had allowed to happen to me. Prongs seemed quite content with that fact which didn't help me at all. I stretched out my arms to the top of the bed, trying to make it look like I was merely stretching. In reality, I was trying to find a better position, let's just say. I really hoped Sirius didn't notice!

Hardly had a thought of Sirius crossed my mind when he leaned over me. "I think it's time I start on your legs. Get rid of that saddle sore."

"Mhm," I was screwed. He would notice. Prongs made me huff &amp; sort of shove my head sideways. "Quit it, you stupid Stag!" Damn thing wants to rut.

"Alright?"

"Mhm!" I was doomed.

I felt his hands near my ankles. He worked upwards now. As before, his touch became lighter as he neared my injury. When he touched my inner thighs, it was feather light &amp; I lost it. I had never known those areas to be that sensitive. I hadn't expected to become so hard so fast even though he didn't actually touch that part. I tried to lie still as he touched there again. Prongs had enough. He didn't burst out but he did take control of my body. He made my entire body suddenly lurch forward, pressing hard into the mattress. I gasped in surprise, partly at losing control &amp; partly at the jolt of passion that went through me.

"Having fun?" There Sirius sat. Smirking smugly. Watching my every move. Bloody idiot!

"That was Prongs! That was NOT me!"

"Uh huh," He leaned over me again. "Can I continue?"

Hell no! "Yes!" I breathed heavily.

He moved down again. I felt him lie over me for a moment as he touched the base of my neck with his fingertips &amp; traced down my spine. I sighed, nearly going over at that touch. I felt something soft &amp; wet touch the place between my shoulder blades. I think he kissed me there. I didn't dare ask. I didn't have time anyway as I felt his touch on my inner thighs again. He traced patterns, teasing my flesh, making me shake &amp; gasp with abandon. How it affected me I don't know, but it did. It nearly drove me insane, as if I was in a constant orgasm, right on the edge. Prongs' instinct made me suddenly bare down on the bed again &amp; I finally came completely.

Sirius dropped flat on his back beside me. I could only stare at him with one eye since my face was buried in the pillows. Though it was hazy since I was without my glasses, I could see enough of Sirius to know that he was watching me.

"Where did you learn something like that?" I asked weakly, feeling exhausted.

"Please, I've been doing it since I was 9," he snickered. "You pick up things when you're doing it that long."

"We didn't have sex Sirius!" I stared at him with both eyes through the fog. "You didn't even touch me really."

Sirius scoffed. "Oh I touched you alright. You just didn't know about that until now."

Forgetting that I was completely naked, I turned to lie on my back as well. "Remus will be lucky to have you someday."

"Lily will be lucky to have you someday," Sirius put his hand on my leg, moving slightly to the inside.

"Yeah that won't happen."

"Why not?"

"I can't."

"Ok."

"What? No lecture about not giving up or how I thought she was the best girl ever until now?"

"I'm not going to force you into anything you don't want to do, Jim."

"Do you have any idea how scared I am of hurting Lily?" I retorted. "What if I do marry her? Then what? All I know about what men can do is hurt. I'll just be like Orion to her on the wedding night. I won't do that!"

"Have I ever hurt you?"

"We've never had sex Sirius!" I snarled furiously! Didn't he get it?

"It doesn't hurt to have sex, Prongs!" Sirius sat up. "Done properly, it's a grand thing."

"Your father hurt me!"

"That beast is not my father," Sirius glared at me. "What he did to you was vile. Not real sex!"

"Sirius!" I looked away. Merlin's sake, don't cry!

"It doesn't have to hurt," Sirius made me look at him. "Not if you don't want it to."

"Why would anyone want pain?" I wiped my eyes with the back of one hand.

"You've seriously never heard of BDSM? Good grief, Hornhead!"

"Oh," I muttered dumbly. "Well. Whatever!"

He lay down again. "Yet you call me an idiot."

"You ARE an idiot!" I glared before asking, "Have you ever done that?"

"Again Jim, I've been at it since I was 9. I've had a few lovers who were into the darker side of sex."

"Would you ever do that with me?"

"If you want."

"If I don't?"

"Then we don't."

Without thinking, I lay down in his arms, covering his side. I felt his hand pet my back between the shoulder blades. I had entwined my leg around his &amp; was just about to doze off with my cheek pressed against his chest when I remembered. I was naked &amp; uncovered, yet here I lay snuggling up to him. I pretended to stretch, pushing myself up &amp; then sheepishly got off the bed. By the time I hit the floor, Prongs had appeared. The Stag's hooves clicked against stone as he skittered around, sniffing.

Sirius raised himself up on his hands, watching me. Prongs looked back, whistled softly, then continued exploring the room. He soon came to the bed again, then put a hoof up. "Wait. Prongs? NO! You'll break the—"

Too late Prongs had bounded onto the bed to lie down &amp; the entire thing cracked under us. Sirius yelped as something smacked his back. Prongs bleated in surprise then transformed away to let me take over. Thanks. Thanks a heap!

"AHH YOU STUPID STAG!"

"Oh I'm sorry!" I yelped as well, trying to gently touch my back. I hated Orion. Ever since he forced me, I had little control over my Stag. I was beginning to wonder if I could ever get it back. What if he came out in public? I could not add the horrors of Azkaban to what I had already gone through! "I'm sorry! I can't control him."

"James if that ever happens in public."

"Hey don't remind me!" I snapped, disentangling myself from the mess.

"Worse, what if he disappears during a full moon?"

I hadn't even thought of that. Moony would kill my human self in an instant. "He won't." I said unconvincingly.

With a flick of his wand, Sirius pushed the broken bed aside. We laid the mattress on the floor in case Prongs took over again &amp; piled on the blankets then got under to go to sleep. We ended up in the same position as before &amp; I was still undressed.

"Sirius? Will it ever stop hurting?"

"Some day," He put a hand on my head &amp; I think he kissed my brow. "These things take time. Years for some."

"I mean my actual injuries," I tried again. "What he did to me. It all still hurts so much."

"Well you have two bodies to heal, Prongs," Sirius sighed before going on. "Also you refuse to seek professional help. So you're healing the long way around. I'm studying to be an Auror just like you. I'm in training to bring in Dark wizards. Serve &amp; protect. Maybe even kill."

* * *

Harry blinked. So. Sirius admitted to learning how to kill. "You learned well, Black." The moment he said it, Harry felt that something was definelty wrong with everything. Then he remembered. James Potter had become an Auror to. He learned the same things. Did he…ever kill?

Remus had said that James had gone ballistic when Orion Black came to Hogwarts one time.

Did James Potter ever kill?

* * *

"...Maybe even kill. I may be good at Potions but I'm not a Healer. I can only do so much for you."

"It is enough Padfoot," I said. "I wouldn't even be alive right now if not for you."

"That's an oxymoron if I ever read one!" Harry wanted to hurl something out the window &amp; hope it landed on Sirius Black hard enough to kill him.

"I'll help you find your flower again, Prongs," Sirius said. "But when you do, I will ask you to do a very hard thing."

"What is it?"

"Not now," Sirius covered my lips with a finger. "Go to sleep. Just rest."


	10. Chapter 10

**(10) Forbidden Touch**

The next morning, we returned to the common room to get fresh school robes. I followed Sirius into the Portrait only to catch sight of Lily sitting at a table reading. Fortunately, the unlit dim hall from Portrait to the room was a bit long &amp; had not one but two escapes. One was behind a tapestry into a tiny room that had a few portraits &amp; a small table. The other led into a larger reading room &amp; for those not in the know, a secret passage behind another portrait into yet another room, larger than the reading room.

I ducked into that reading room but stayed by the door. I heard Lily asking where he &amp; I had been.

Sirius just laughed. "We never even made it to the common room. We both got rather trashed out on the grounds."

"You slept outside?" Lily was horrified.

"No we were in the castle by then," Sirius went on. "Somewhere. Don't rightly know. Well I'm here now aren't I?"

"Where's James?"

"Probably heading for breakfast," Sirius said before snapping at her. (Those two love each other about as much as Snivellus &amp; I do.) "What do you care anyway? You've been nothing but a hag to him for the past five some odd years!"

* * *

"Oh no, you did NOT just call my mother a hag!" Harry nearly flung the Passion Year away but reminded himself this was his father's memoirs, not Black's.

* * *

"He's nicer than you are," Lily shot back. "You're nothing but a man-bitch!"

* * *

"GO MUM!"

* * *

"I'll take that as a compliment!" Sirius seethed. "You have no idea how I can be in bed &amp; I would never show you, not even if you were the last girl on Earth!"

"Good, I'd rather be a lesbian!"

* * *

Harry burst out laughing so hard, he fell out of bed.

* * *

"Good! I'd rather be gay!"

"Well don't get your 'wand' in a knot! Or is it even big enough to tie up?"

* * *

"Oh wow!"

* * *

"OH! What does Jim SEE in you?!"

I heard him stomp off. Great, now I'm stuck in here, waiting for her to get bored &amp; leave. After several minutes, I heard more stomping &amp; peeked out a crack in the door to see Lily in a huff &amp; a puff marching down the hall &amp; out the Portrait. If there was one thing I had learned the hard way in my life, was never to cross Lily Evans when she's in a mood. She's scarier than an angry werewolf on full moons! So I naturally stayed hidden until I was sure she was gone. No chance in hell would I come out now with her there even if I wasn't messed up! HELL NO!

I took my time to go upstairs &amp; find Sirius seething on his bed. He needed a time out to calm down &amp; something Lily said about him made me think about him in a very different way. I lay down beside him, staring at the ceiling, while twirling my left armguard in my hands.

"I used to think she was the prettiest thing I've ever seen," I said. "Also, I used to like her fiery temper. She never takes any nonsense. But now ...now I can't even look at her without being reminded of everything I lost. My plans for us. I wanted my first time to be with her. It's all ruined now."

"Technically speaking, it still can be," Sirius raised himself on one hand to look down at me. "Even if we go all the way, you'll still get a first time with her. You've never been with girls before, unlike me. She can still be your first girl. Why you want her though, I can never understand."

"I guess so," I tossed my armguard aside. "It doesn't matter anymore."

He put one arm around me &amp; we dozed off. In silent agreement, we skipped breakfast. I wasn't all that hungry &amp; anyway, Lily was there, looking for me. Last year, I would have nearly killed to have her looking for me or even to give me the time of day. Now I wish she would go back to hating me.

We got up, got dressed &amp; headed for our first class of the day. I was still a bit sore from Quidditch &amp; was glad that we had no more practises for a couple of weeks.

In mid-November, our Auror training intensified from written &amp; theological lessons, to practical defence. Our Defence Against The Dark Arts lessons were different from the rest of school. We were often in the Great Hall with the doors barred, instead of the regular classroom. We even had Ministry officials over-seeing some of our training &amp; any tests done were put up by them, not Hogwarts' staff. It was so much work, more so than I expected.

Remus &amp; Peter were no longer with us. Being a werewolf, Remus wasn't allowed an Auror's license; though, hopefully someday Dumbledore could change that as Remus's biggest fantasy was to be an Auror. Dumbledore had bent the Ministry's hand against werewolves &amp; brought Remus into Hogwarts as a young pup. Remus is the first &amp; so far only, werewolf to get any education &amp; so far, it looks like he would get full education. Auror would be the next step. He'll be late, but thanks to Dumbledore, hopefully he'll be standing with us some day.

As for Peter, I'm not sure what he's up to anymore. I heard him mention once that he wanted to be a Healer but as he was dismal at Potions, it wasn't likely. I hate this. The four of us used to be close. The brotherhood of the Marauders seemed to be on a back burner. We would barely get together outside of full moons.

I'm starting to miss Peter. If there was one thing he was good at, it was kicking my arse at Exploding Snap. Oh man, that guy's a hussler!

I'm missing our werewolf so much. A month between full moons seemed an eternity for me. I know that seems cruel. His body breaking apart twice a night is something Remus can barely survive. I know the pain he goes through. My heart rips out every time for him. But right now, it seems full moons is the only time I can have any time with Moony &amp; so I don't complain when he's gnawing my horns.

Lily on the other hand, was also an Auror in training &amp; contrary to what people thought my dreams coming true would be, I was rather annoyed at being paired up with her more often then not. She was a good trainee. That wasn't my problem. I simply couldn't look at her without hurting inside but since she had no idea, she didn't take things easy on me. I ended up in the hospital twice thanks to her. Sirius would glower at her but honestly, it wasn't her fault. She simply did not know.

Two other friends had also signed up to be Aurors. Alice Jay &amp; her fiancée, Frank Longbottom—

* * *

Harry stared at the name. Neville's parents? BOTH Aurors? Neville had never once mentioned his parents. Only his grandmother.

* * *

—both of Gryffindor House. They had become engaged earlier this year &amp; were planning to marry during the summer before 7th Year started. Young I know, but those two had clicked from the start, unlike Lily &amp; I. Why can't we get our crushes for each other on at the same time?

The next Quidditch game was soon upon us, this one between Hufflepuff &amp; Ravenclaw. A rare non-full moon time, the four of us were actually together for once, sitting along one bench in the high stands with the best viewing points. I was between Sirius &amp; Remus, with Peter on the other side of Remus. The four of us were soon on our feet with the rest of the spectators, screaming out orders as if it would help. Go left. LEFT YOU BLOODY IDIOT! No! Your OTHER left! Merlin dammit! I swear Gryffindor is the best team. We wouldn't be making these stupid mistakes!

We sat down as one during a lull &amp; adjusted our cloaks better. There was a good foot of snow all around &amp; a cold wind was blowing under a sky full of more snow waiting to happen. As the game went on, flakes began to fall, slowly at first but it soon turned into a bit of a blizzard. Occasionally we could see players zipping by. After shouting more orders at a Ravenclaw Beater (aka curses in both types of French as well as English), Sirius plopped down beside me. He shifted our cloaks so the edges overlapped &amp; I felt him take my hand underneath our cloaks.

He was holding my hand! We haven't done anything to each other since he had given me a massage nearly a month ago. Gritting my teeth, I closed my eyes, feeling my heart race. I hoped I wasn't blushing! I thought again of what Lily had said &amp; wondered if I could ever figure it out. I knew then, that I had to or else I would be forever damaged. But I had no idea how to proceed. Sirius suddenly squeezed my hand so hard it hurt. Opening my eyes, I saw the Snitch barely an inch from my nose. A shadow swooped past, making the four of us scream, she was that close!

Hufflepuff won that round while the four of us probably had ten years shaved off our lives for that scare. We climbed down the stands to the grounds as the Teams landed in a frenzy before dispersing to the two changing rooms.

I felt a tugging at my cloak &amp; for one moment, I panicked. What if someone was trying to touch me? I whirled around, wand out, only to have it pointing in Remus's face. He gasped in surprise &amp; stepped back. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you!"

I glared at him. He had no permission to touch me! Oh my God! Where did that one come from? I hated myself for thinking that! It was all Orion's fault. Now I'm turning against my friends because of him? Remus would be the LAST person in the universe to do something like that to me, even if he wasn't a wolf! Feeling horrified at how I had thought of him like that even for a fleeting moment, I put my wand away. Oh well, at least he wasn't telepathic. "Sorry, mind's somewhere else." I actually hugged him then, hoping to find some silent forgiveness. How dare I think of Moony like that? Of all people?

"Yeah," He patted my back &amp; I was amazed that it didn't hurt. Was I finally healing? "I can see that." We pulled apart. "Prongs, can I talk to you for a moment?" He nodded towards a spot under the grandstands out of sight. I followed him. Remus leaned up against a support &amp; folded his arms. "Lily &amp; I are on patrol again tonight." I blinked. In all this time, I had totally forgotten that. "She's been asking me about you."

I was still stuck on the fact that he had patrol duties &amp; took a moment to catch up. "Oh, about what?"

"She's been wondering how you're doing," Remus explained. "She's glad you're not so mean to her anymore."

"So I dipped her hair in inkbottles. So big deal."

* * *

"Wait. WHAT? DAD you idiot!" Harry found himself smirking though.

* * *

"You've done a lot more to her than that," Remus pointed out. I scowled. "Anyway, she's wondering if anything's wrong. She feels like you're avoiding her. I told her that's trezempossible (What? I said it before, I can't spell French to save my life. This guy's from France! Shoot me! Wait, I do think those are two separate words.) Trez impossible. But now that I'm thinking of it, I'm starting to agree with her."

I shrugged. "So?"

Remus stared long &amp; hard at me. His eyes swirled gold for a moment, appraising me. "Oh my 'deer' sweet Stag! What happened to you? I know something's wrong."

"Nothing," I shrugged again. "I'm fine." I hated lying to him but it was bad enough Sirius knew my shame. I couldn't bare to tell anyone else. Besides, Remus has enough problems with the full moon. He doesn't need to worry about me. Sirius is taking care of me anyway.

Remus took both my hands &amp; put them onto his shoulders, then held my face with his hands. The gold swirled out of sight as Moony submerged. "Prongs. I am the biggest liar out of the four of us. I have to be. Please. Don't lie to me! You've been strange since we started this year!"

"I told you," I petted his arms, feeling new scars under the material of his robes. "I was extremely ill that last week."

"Your scent was extremely off while we were on the train."

Damn him! "Yeah. Illness."

"If it was an illness, it would have changed back by now. But you still have that same strange new scent. I think it's permanent."

I had to turn this conversation away from a dangerous topic. Fast! "Well, I am nearly an adult now. Maybe I really am a man in wolf terms to? It's probably a more manly scent is all."

Remus's eyes switched to gold so fast, I felt dizzy. "That is EXACTLY what this scent of yours is."

"Easy Moony, we're in public," I glanced around. The last thing I want added to my conscience on top of it all was the death of this precious wolf.

The gold glared at me for a long time. I really hope no one looked around. "I should go find Lily," Moony said, then submerged once more. "Yeah, he's right," Remus agreed.

* * *

"Oh NOW you put in the fact he can talk," Harry groused. "Still haven't told me what Wormtail is either."

* * *

"How's that working for you anyway?" I asked, grateful for the topic change. I hated Orion ever more. My scent changed because of that? "When patrols go with full moons, how are you dodging Lily?"

"She knows."

I stared at him. She—Lily. Knows? WHAT? "Exkuz ee mwa?" (What? I can speak French just fine…I just said 'Excuse me,' by the way. I just can't spell it!)

"She knows," Remus repeated. "She covers for me when I leave. She's ok with it."

I realized my jaw was on the ground somewhere &amp; with great difficulty, I closed my mouth. "How long? How?"

"Since OWL exams last year," said Remus. "She never said how she knew. She just came up to me &amp; said 'I know you're a werewolf. It's ok with me.' Then gave me some chocolate &amp; left. We never spoke of it since except when Lily asks if I want her to cover for me."

Then it hit me! That was why Lily was being nice to me. She was starting to see me for what I was. A werewolf guardian. She was finally seeing beyond the façade we Marauders put up, beating up Snape, pulling pranks, stealing from Hogsmeade &amp; other people's money like the band of land pirates we are; all to distract Remus from his pain every month. Oh God not now! Please not now! I'm not ready. "Does she know Animagic?"

"No," Remus said slowly.

"Moony!"

"She saw all three of you change once."

"WHAT?!"

"She's ok with it. She understands."

For a split second, I wondered why my head was hurting. Then I lowered my hands from my hair before I ripped myself bald. "How could th—HOW COULD THAT HAPPEN?!

"It's ok Pro—"

"NO IT'S NOT! IT IS NOT OK!"

"Prongs!" Remus slapped a hand over my mouth. "She is sworn to secrecy like the rest of us. She knows us. What we do &amp; why. SHE'S ONE OF US, PRONGS! She's one of us!"

"I can't even—I can't deal—g'night Moony!" I whirled around &amp; fled for Sirius's side.

"Prongs? PRONGS!" Remus called after me but I ignored him.

I needed Sirius. Now! I felt violated all over again. Violated by Lily! Animagic was our greatest secret. That werewolf our greatest treasure. No one. NO ONE! Deserves the right to know about any of it. Lily had seen us? How? When? Where? I stormed into the Entrance Hall past the hourglasses of the House points, looking for Sirius. I spotted Lily by the doors of the Great Hall, talking to her girlfriends. I marched over.

"James," She smiled at me for a second before it vanished. I must have looked mad. I was!

"You!" I glared at her, fists balled by my sides. No I would never hit a girl, don't worry! Well except maybe Sirius's mother who was a real bitch but besides that one, no. "How dare you?" My voice was low &amp; deep &amp; for the first time, I realised I was a baritone.

"Excuse me?" Lily asked weakly.

"MY best secret! MY greatest treasure!" I hit my heart every time I said 'my'. "How could you know?"

"What?"

I glared at her some more before stomping off. She called after me but I fled for my bedroom. I hated myself for blowing up at her. She hadn't done anything wrong. If anything, I should be happy she had accepted us without question. If only Orion hadn't ripped me apart. Now, there was very little left that was sacred &amp; oh yeah, Lily had just ripped out my last heartstring. I tossed my glasses onto the desk. They slid right across &amp; fell behind. I flung myself onto my bed &amp; stayed there for the rest of the evening.

A few hours later, Sirius turned up. We shared a look, then I went back to sulking. He sat beside me &amp; gently put a hand on my tailbone. I didn't feel the pain I expected to feel. "Well, I suggest you avoid Moony &amp; Lily for the rest of your life," Sirius said. "They're both mad at you."

"I don't care," I told my pillow, ignoring Sirius as best possible.

"Yes you do," Sirius lay beside me. "Or else you wouldn't be sulking up here."

"Padfoot! She KNOWS about us. ALL of us! Werewolf &amp; illegal Animagic."

"So what were you planning to tell her if your marriage plans had gone through? Hmm? Thought so! Sooner or later, she would have had to be told everything."

I glared at him. "Go away!" I turned my back towards him.

"Prongs you know how much I hate that girl! Stuck up know-it-all," Sirius squeezed my side a little. "Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to defend her? Against you no less? Don't embarrass me further please."

"Whatever."

"Prongs, our secret is safe with her. Our treasure is safe with her &amp; maybe someday, your heart also, will be safe with her."

With a cracked voice I barely managed to talk at all. "Pads, it was the last thing I had all to myself ok? Now it's all gone. I have nothing left!"

"Neither Evans or Moony know the whole truth though," said Sirius, drying away my tears with a finger. "You can't fault them for their innocence."

"I have no innocence left!"

"You're a lot more innocent than me, the slut of Hogwarts," Sirius half-smiled at me.

"Yeah thanks," I scoffed, moving over so we could lie side by side. "You haven't been lying around much have you?"

"No, I'm talking care of you," Sirius took hold of my hand between us again. "Then I have Remus perhaps. Wolves mate for life."

"When are you ever going to ask him?"

"Now isn't the time."

"Oh don't wait on my account."

"We have a friendship to rebuild first," Sirius reminded me. Man, how out of it can I be? "Besides, I like this time with you."

I stared at the ceiling. I couldn't believe he had said that. There was something about him I needed to know &amp; for some reason, I felt I would find out tonight. I had no idea how though. Would he even allow it? I suddenly pulled my hand out of his &amp; laid it on the front of his hip closest to me, then moved to just near his inner thigh as he had done to me once. "I have no idea what I'm doing," I whispered.

"You're doing fine."

I moved my hand over that bulge between his legs &amp; actually felt his sharp gasp the moment I touched him. "Did I hurt you?" He grunted a no so I continued to fondle him. I should have expected his reaction. After all, I did the same thing. But believe it or not, I wasn't intending anything sexual.

What I wanted was to see how he felt compared to his father. Lily had teased him about his size. (She's wrong by the way. It's big enough, thank you very much!) I needed a difference between Sirius &amp; Orion. Him getting off just happened to be a pleasant side effect. He suddenly guided my hand inside his pants. Now I was really able to feel around for a difference. He was enjoying it so I didn't bother telling him what I was really feeling around for. It worked out for both of us. I also was stupidly comparing him to myself. We seemed the same length more or less, though him a bit bigger around. Whatever. Not important. The difference between him &amp; that vile creature was a different story.

I was just on the verge of finding out how different he was when I felt his hand in my pants, returning the favour. For Merlin's sake! I'm trying to concentrate on something here! Fine. Might as well finish that off now that I can't think straight!

Surprisingly, I felt my back arch a little as he brought me over the edge. It didn't hurt as much as before, but there was still a jabbing pain by the tailbone. But it had definitely healed a lot by now.

Ok, thank you very much. That was great. Now I worked on him again. I had been careful to keep him going while he worked on me. I needed to find a difference. Sirius had his face turned into the pillow as he thrusted long &amp; slow into my palm. I was suddenly distracted by the fact that this would be the first time I see him actually come. I stroked him long &amp; slow. I had to find something different. Sirius was practically sobbing by now but I didn't bring him over the edge just yet.

I kept him going as I let my fingers explore every bit of him. I finally found a difference as he grabbed my collar &amp; bucked hard into my hand. The Grim within him growled as he went over.

Sirius was longer. I was sure of that. Good. Definitely not like the man who bred him at all!

* * *

_(AN: Yeah, totally ripped off a Sherlock BBC line there. No, I don't care lolol)_


	11. Chapter 11

_(Based upon lyrics of 'Poison' by Alice Cooper &amp; covered by Tarja Turunen)_

* * *

**(11) The Price Of Love**

He lay under me, watching me with those pale grey eyes. I felt safe whenever he looked at me. One look from him would kill my pain. A thrill went through me as we continued to stare at each other. He wanted something &amp; I had a feeling of what it might be. He put one hand around to the back of my neck &amp; held me so I couldn't pull away.

I didn't want to pull away while at the same time I wanted to crawl under my Invisibility Cloak &amp; hide. This wasn't supposed to happen, was it? The eternal fog in my eyes seemed to blur out everything around his face as he lay there looking up at me, as if enhancing him. I realised then that I wanted to love him. Or perhaps I already did. I suddenly stupidly realised my hand was still down his pants. Trying to look anywhere but in his face, I quickly pulled out. The last thing I should be doing with thoughts like these running rampant in my head is touch him there! He laughed at me.

I had a sudden urge to kiss him. I was wanting this way too much! I couldn't help it. I leaned down &amp; barely tasted his lips before trying to pull away. But his hand held me in place as he returned the gesture. Oh Merlin! What AM I doing? He soon deepened our kiss &amp; I found myself in his hot mouth, Frenching him senseless.

I was doomed. I was so caught in his web. There was no backing out now! We soon pulled apart.

"I'm sorry Sirius."

"Would you quit apologising?"

"But what about Remus?"

"We're still working on our friendship. We've got the time, Jim. Right now, you need me more."

He pulled me down to him again for another kiss. I felt bound to him &amp; I had no intention of breaking these chains in my heart any time soon. His skin was still wet from what I had recently done to him.

Prongs reared up within me, not in alarm but in passion. His rutting instincts took over &amp; I suddenly found myself lying directly on top of Sirius, yet having no idea how I got there. I bore down on him, ignoring the spike of pain running up my spine. It wasn't as bad as it used to be. I could handle it now. I pressed down against his hips again, intensifying the heat between us. I had a vague idea that my hand was up his shirt at the same time I inwardly fretted if Prongs would burst out &amp; take over completely. I hoped not. That thing was big, being an Elk Stag, &amp; he would crush Sirius. Well, ya know, more so than how I'm crushing against him right now. Sirius held me tightly against him &amp; moved with me. After a third hard long hit between us, he gasped sharply as Prongs whistled through me.

It was over almost as fast as it started &amp; I knew the only thing that stopped us from actually mating was the fact that we were both still dressed. In a way, that was a good thing as I wasn't ready for something that intimate yet. If ever.

I slipped off &amp; he held me close to his side. "You've come a long way today, Hornhead."

"It wasn't actually that long," I tried to stop grinning.

"Well perhaps not," Sirius snickered. "But it was bloody intense."

"Um, thanks," I knew I was blushing. I could feel my cheeks burning nearly as hot as another part of me had been burning a few seconds ago.

"We should get changed," he said after nearly half an hour of us just lying there. He touched my face with one hand, then kissed me. "G'night Prongs." He got off the bed &amp; went to his own across from me.

We had Remus between us &amp; Peter on my other side. Both were still in the common room, playing Exploding Snap. I could hear an occasional mega-explosion of cards from here as more than one pair would blow. Remus was dismal with that game. But do not EVER go up against him with Gobstones. Hell no! I lost 100 Galleons to him once for that. My public shame which Hogwarts still laugh at me today for.

I got up to change, knowing those two would be up soon. Then I remembered. "Padfoot, we both still have a three-foot parchment essay on Stealth for our Auror training due tomorrow." Sirius glared at me. Begrudgingly, we pulled out sheets &amp; quills &amp; started writing. I found a spare pair of glasses in my bag.

We worked in silence for several minutes. I stared at the door, expecting Remus &amp; Peter up at any time. It was now or never. I put my quill aside. "Sirius, do you think, there's a bit...a bit too much work for becoming a trainee Auror?" Sirius made a derisive sound. "Sirius, listen to me!"

"What?" He tossed his quill aside &amp; glared. Studying late at night was never his strong point. Studying period was never his strong point.

"I looked up what it all takes to become an Auror," I began. "If you choose that route in Year 5, then the last 2 years of Hogwarts has the trainee starter programs. We need at least five NEWTS...which might I remind you is 7th Year. We're in 6th Year. No marks under Exceeds Expectations. But then after Hogwarts, you have three more years at the actual Ministry Of Magic to go through to become a full Auror. Most of that in Defence Against The Dark Arts; yet here, we've been grilled raw to the bone on it &amp; it's only our 6th Year."

"Yeah? So?"

"I compared what we're learning to what the legislature said about Hogwarts Auror programs in the past," I laid my parchment aside &amp; stared out the window. "We're doing double to what used to be taught here before. Hogwarts used to do just the basics back when my parents trained here."

"So Hogwarts decided to be harder on the next generation which would be us," Sirius grumbled.

I glared at him. "From my parents point of view, we're several generations later. You know my Dad was 16, nearly 17, when he was on board Titanic. He got off only because he was still considered underage &amp; he &amp; his mother were the only ones of the family on board. You know how old he is!"

"Yeah yeah, you're something of a miracle child born to them in old age," Sirius said. "Bit like Abraham &amp; Sarah's child in the Bible."

"Yeah."

"So Hogwarts really added to the program since then," Sirius said.

* * *

Harry made a whooshing motion over his head &amp; tried to flip a few pages ahead through the memoirs without breaking them. "Wait Dad! That means nothing to me. What's Titanic?" Harry put the pages back as carefully as he could, seeing no more mention of Titanic. "I hate it when he does that!"

Now he had three things to watch out for. What was Wormtail? Why did his father not destroy this? What did Titanic mean, other than large obviously?

* * *

"Sirius!" I tried to get him to see reason. "I wrote to my parents about it, asking them if it made any sense all this extra work we're doing. Mum agrees. It's a bit much for Hogwarts. Something's wrong Pads. Something's coming."

"You think they're preparing us for an attack?"

I was about to answer but Remus &amp; Peter both entered &amp; we were not supposed to discuss Auror training in front of non-trainers. Another thing not only I but my parents found weird. I nodded once to Sirius to answer his question as silently as possible.

"You guys still working on homework? Should have been done hours ago!" Remus all but glared. (I swear to Merlin if that mutt doesn't become a Professor here ...)

"Yeah wish granted."

"It's a lot of work," Sirius stole my line. What the hell? I glared at him again.

"You two are going to regret it in the morning," Remus pointed out as Sirius &amp; I both stuffed our work away in our bags, giving up.

"Oh well," I muttered. "I'm too tired now anyway."

We crawled into our beds. Remus stood staring at my nightstand for a moment, then with a K9 whine he got down on his hands &amp; knees &amp; shoved his body in behind it. I heard the CRUNCH of fangs on lens. One of these days Moon Mutt! One of these days. Oh well, I had millions more stashed away. He came out, one earpiece dangling from his jaws. "What on Earth were you two doing all that time up here if not studying?"

"Sleeping," I said quickly while at the same time Sirius said, "Planning our next full moon romp." I tried not to roll my eyes. Ok one of us was sleeping, one of us was planning.

"I heard Prongs," Remus glared gold at me. "You shouldn't change with the door wide open."

"OY!" I sat up sharply. "It was closed &amp; I didn't change. I can whistle like that myself, ya know." I promptly did so to prove it.

"So you weren't sleeping?"

STUPID stupid wolf! Drop it already! "I was. I whistled in my sleep &amp; it woke me up sort of." Remus nibbled on what was left of that particular pair of glasses, the rest of the broken pieces lay strewn on the floor. "Ya know, we got to break you out of that habit soon. You're not a puppy any more." Remus plopped onto his bed, growling under breath.

"DON'T GROWL!" Sirius, Peter &amp; I all commanded in one voice.

"Bad werewolf manners," I threw a pillow at him, earning a hiss.

"DON'T HISS!" We all ordered.

"Have we taught you nothing in proper werewolf etiquette?" Sirius groused.

"I am your Alpha. I will growl &amp; hiss if I please. Besides, I'm not the idiot throwing pillows in other people's faces." Remus tossed my pillow back.

I locked eyes with Sirius, then turned to Peter nearly behind me. "LET'S GET HIM!"

The pillow fight was on! It was miserably unfair. Three on one. Remus fought valiantly but we killed him in the end. Werewolf fangs &amp; pillows don't really go together. Feathers flew as he caught several of our 'weapons' in his teeth, snarling 'viciously'. (I could actually see his scruff rise as he let some of his fur on the nape of his neck out. It was all he could do without a full moon. I knew we were safe though. With his unnatural strength even in human form, he could kill us easily with one swipe. Since he was allowing the pillow-beating, he was obviously just playing.) Peter started sneezing with allergies. Moony through Remus barked. Sirius &amp; I both rammed the dual entity at the same time.

CRACK!

Remus's bed broke.

The three of us nearly died from laughing so much. Peter had the worst of it as he tried to stop sneezing as well.

"OHH! Why am I friends with you?" Remus groaned as he fixed his bed with a wave of his wand. I could see him smirking though as he turned away. "You idiots!'

"I have no idea," I teased, then fell on my bed holding my stomach while suffering another laughing fit. In fact, it took several minutes for the four of us to actually fall silent &amp; try to get some sleep. We repaired the pillows (though I'm sure we missed some feathers as the pillows felt flatter ever since) &amp; Sirius used a quick Scourgify to remove as much of the venom as possible on the pillowcases before we turned them all inside out to hide the rest of it that just wouldn't go away. We finally sank down tiredly into our beds. We'd have to get new covers in the morning. Remus Vanished away the broken eyewear as he lay down last.

Sirius &amp; I skipped breakfast to finish our homework. Remus &amp; Peter both brought us sandwiches, which we scarfed down before heading to class. We shared the usual classes with them &amp; then found ourselves locked in the Great Hall. Auror trainers only. The Tables were gone &amp; we were paired up to duel each other. I was with Frank Longbottom for a while, then we switched &amp; I ended up with Jason Garcia of Hufflepuff. He was good &amp; I ended up on my back twice.

Duelling was intense &amp; hard work. We were kept at it for nearly an hour before class was dismissed. We grilled for long hours for the last few weeks leading up to the Christmas holidays.

Each one was more intense than the last, as we learned to control &amp; channel our magic against each other. We were frowned upon if we spoke our spells. This was wordless magic. In our 7th year, we would learn wandless magic as well; though, Sirius &amp; I being illegal Animaguses, would be ahead of our class.

Our final duelling test before the holidays was the hardest. Now, we would actually lose marks for speaking. Two Ministry officials oversaw the test. But the worst was, two of the Unforgivables would be used on us &amp; we would be allowed to try to use them on our partner. The Death Curse of course, was unacceptable (though both Sirius &amp; I eyed some people with silent wishes), but we had to learn how to handle being under attack by control or torture. An official would duel us each in turn &amp; we had to block all their spells without even knowing what was being thrown at us. Crucio &amp; Imperio would be among them.

But when my turn came, I was paired up with Sirius! I had never actually partnered with him before during lessons. Plenty of times outside of school of course, but never in a lesson. It was usually Lily I got, or Frank. Yet instead of someone from the Ministry coming for me, Sirius stepped up to the duelling floor in their place.

He spoke to me in French &amp; as I can't spell it, I'll just write the English translation as best possible. "You think I'd let anyone else hurt you after last summer? I relieved that monster of nearly a million Galleons to buy my way up here for you." I stared at him, feeling both grateful &amp; terrified. Somehow, I knew. I just knew it. He would not take it easy on me!

"Mercy." (Means thank you by the way &amp; I think it's pretty close to the spelling.)

"Don't thank me yet," he said solemnly, still in French. Then he surprised me. "Je t'aime (I love you…the one phrase I can spell since I had plans to send it to Lily one day.)"

I was stunned! I felt my heart skip a beat. My mind was still processing that but suddenly all thoughts of what he had just confessed to me flew from me as I hit the floor screaming. Crucio! He had gone &amp; bloody used Crucio on his first round. TABRENACK I'M GOING TO BLOODY MURDER HIM! Son of a Merlin-damned troll, he's going to die!

"Enough!" Bellowed an official after the allotted time past. Sirius left the torture curse on just a moment longer. Oh he's going to fucking DIE!

* * *

"DAD!" Harry stared at the word, never expecting to see such a bad swear from his father. Granted, that French Canadienne word was similarly as bad. Plus this Crucio thing seemed like a terrific curse. Lupin had explained it a bit. It seemed to be painful, yet in spite of it, Harry did find the situation amusing. More appropriately, his father's comments on it.

* * *

I got up on my hands &amp; knees gasping. I have a pretty good idea how he managed that curse though he loved me. Crucio is fed by hate. He must have envisioned his father standing there instead of me, for what that man did to me. Didn't change facts. I'm going to murder Sirius! Tabrenack! That hurt!

Ignoring the aches in my body, I jumped to my feet. I doubled over for a moment, feeling as if I had been put on The Rack several times over. I honestly felt raped all over again. Glaring, I attacked him with the same spell, hoping to hurt him as much as he had hurt me.

Stupid idiot blocked me! Ok...NOW I'm incensed! I reached for Prongs within me, hoping to tap into his fury but without calling him out. Sirius &amp; I silently bounced Crucio between us a few times, but neither was able to bring down the other. I changed tactics to a different spell but Sirius blocked me. We had totally forgotten about Imperio it seemed.

We duelled silently for the full five minutes without scoring any more hits. When we were finally ordered to stop, those overseeing our test were impressed. We both got full marks, even though I had been knocked down once right at the beginning.

No matter. I'll get him when we're alone! Then I figured it out. He didn't love me at all. He loved Remus. He had only said that to me to throw me off guard.

Yep! He's gonna bloody die. Horribly!

As we entered the dorms that night, I felt tired &amp; out of sorts. Sirius sat down next to Remus on the couch by the fire &amp; for the first time in my life, I felt an inexplicable anger towards our werewolf. I muttered something about getting some homework done &amp; marched upstairs without a backwards glance. Seeing those two sitting together was the last thing I needed right now. Why I don't know, but it bugged me. Barely a few minutes went by, when Sirius joined me. I pointedly stared at the window, only to end up glaring at his reflection.

"You ok?"

"Fine, Padfoot!"

"No, you're in a jealous rage."

"I am not!"

"Yes, you are," Sirius argued. "I can expl—"

"I have homework to do," I began pulling random things out of my bag.

"You weren't supposed to get struck by it."

"Well, I did. Happy?" I kept my back to him.

"As an Auror, you are never to let your guard down," Sirius insisted on staying. "How do you know that was me down there? Hmm? Just because I say I love you doesn't mean I'm Sirius Black. Or Lily! I could be a Death Eater using Polyjuice potion."

"Oh so you were just training me, were you?" I snarled sarcastically, spilling my inkbottle.

"Not just training you but yes, that was partly it," Sirius tried to stop me from turning my bag inside-out. I pulled it away. "You failed."

"I get it," I hissed like Remus. "I don't deserve the full marks &amp; I really shouldn't be angry right now." Damn him! He was right. I should never let my guard down. In that moment, though Remus would never know it, I knew our ranks had reversed. Sirius was now Delta &amp; I the Omega.

Sirius grabbed my arm &amp; forced me around to face him. "You think because I used Crucio on you or have feelings for Moony that I love you any less?"

"You can ju—wait, what?"

"Don't think for one second that I didn't mean what I said, Jim," Sirius grabbed my shoulders &amp; demanded eye-contact. "Because I meant every word! Why do you think my Crucio was so strong? I hate him as much as I love you AND Remus. Why do you think I bought my way up there? Hmm?" He shook me a little.

I knew he had thought of his father when he did that. I felt my face getting wet. Damn it, I was crying again! "Padfoot! It hurt!" I gasped. "It hurt so much. I thought I would die."

"I know," He pulled me close &amp; kissed me. We both knew I wasn't talking about his Crucio anymore. "I won't let you die. Never."

* * *

Harry tossed the writings aside. "But you did. Damn you. You did! I don't understand." He put the memoirs away in his trunk. Despite wanting to finish them in one go, his eyes were tired from reading &amp; he felt more confused now than before. Harry headed to the common room to play a round of Wizarding Chess with Ron to try to clear his head.

"_You're lucky you're not my target or you would be dead by now." _

Sirius had said that. What the hell did he mean? He had run from Lupin, not tried to kill him. Was Remus the target or not?

Harry thought of the Passion Year &amp; wondered briefly if he was reading about a different Sirius Black.

"_I am no Death Eater...Dumbledore's best Auror. Best Auror!"_

Certainly looked pretty good from what his father had written. Half-way on the stairs, Harry came up with a strange solution. What if Sirius was innocent of the crimes in a sense that he wasn't a Death Eater? James had ended up with Lily &amp; Remus it seemed had ended up with Sirius. Harry stopped, thinking. "Merlin's sake, was it a jealous rage?" Did all those muggles die due to an accident? Manslaughter perhaps?

"_How dare you come down here looking for me when you don't even know the whole story? You could have been killed. You're lucky I'm here to protect you, not harm you."_

"What do you mean the whole story, Black? Harry muttered aloud to himself. He suddenly cast the 'jealous rage' theory aside. If that had been it, wouldn't Black want to get rid of a child representing love he had lost?

Sirius had twice saved his father's life inside of a few months. The rape. The suicide attempt. Why let James die four years later? Harry suddenly considered confronting Black again &amp; he knew he was in trouble. There was no way he would risk getting eaten by Moony, or worse, emptying the Gryffindor hourglass again. Dimly reminded of how Hermione once sorted out her priorities in a strange way during their first year, Harry hurried to Ron's side, hoping a rousing game of Chess would make him forget his confusion, if only for a while.


	12. Chapter 12

**(12) Ballroom Blitz**

For the next two days, Harry caught up on homework &amp; avoided Hermione &amp; Ron together as much as possible. He didn't want to be stuck between them while they were fighting &amp; his mind was on other things anyway.

Why was he at Privet Drive during the summer? Harry had a feeling his grandfather was probably dead due to what James had written about him being in poor health. But where was his grandmother? No one had ever mentioned anything about grandparents. Were they both dead?

On his way to the next Defence Against The Dark Arts class, Harry passed Dumbledore on his way to his office. Dumbledore was the oldest person at Hogwarts that Harry knew of. Harry suddenly turned back &amp; ran after the old wizard.

"Professor! Wait," Harry panted as he caught up. Dumbledore paused &amp; turned to look at him. "Have you ever heard about my grandparents?"

"I met them both only briefly," Dumbledore said. "They came here when the First War started."

"Where are they?"

"They're both dead now," Dumbledore said.

"Oh," Harry glanced at the floor. Well, that was why he was at Privet Drive.

"I'm sorry, Harry," Dumbledore went on. "They were both quite old. James was something of a miracle child to them. I do know your grandmother had become pregnant six times in her life before James. He's actually their seventh child but," He paused &amp; sighed. "None of them took until James came into the world. Some women just have problems that neither muggle or magic cures can understand &amp; fix."

"How old were they?"

"Well," Dumbledore thought a moment. "I don't rightly know but as I understand it from what your father said, your grandfather Charlus Potter, was in his late teens when he was on board the Titanic, as was I, though a bit older of course."

"You were on the Titanic?" Harry exclaimed.

"Oh yes," Dumbledore said. "Horrible tragedy way back in 1912. Less than half the people on that ship survived. I only got off because I had Fawkes &amp; he teleported me far away just after Titanic sunk, farther than one can apparate on their own. Shouldn't you be in class?"

"Right, sorry sir," Harry had completely forgotten &amp; as he didn't want Moony to eat him or dock off more points, he wisely broke off the conversation &amp; fled for Lupin's class. 1912! That was a really long time ago.

Lupin's classroom had been turned into a bog &amp; Harry found himself swearing in both dialects of French under breath more than once at the blasted Hinkypunks. A well placed Lumos would send them off but the trick was finding the damn things in the first place. Fog on fog. More than one student was led astray. It was a frustrating yet fun class.

Harry headed to the library that evening &amp; looked up the Titanic. Afterwards, he felt unsettled almost as if he were, well seasick. The chance of him or even his father never even being in the world was so great, Harry was amazed they had come through. Hardly any men had survived the disaster &amp; James had written that the only reason Charlus got off was because he was still considered young &amp; was with his mother.

"You know Harry," Lupin's voice sounded behind him. Again, Harry vacated his chair faster than he could blink. "When you go home, you should Google about that ship."

"Google ...sir?" Harry felt incredibly odd speaking about a muggle thing like internet at Hogwarts with a Professor.

"I'm muggleborn," Lupin reminded him. "Anyway, not long after, uh, after your parents—in 1985, the bow of Titanic was found. Now, some guy named James Cameron is going after it. Been at it for nearly a decade. There's talk of a movie coming out. You should look him up."

"Oh," Harry blinked. "I will maybe."

"Careful Harry," Lupin actually smirked at him. "We sorcerers call it the Curse Of The Titanic. It creates an obsession in people. Some people really do obsess over that ship."

"Like you," Harry pointed out.

"Yep," Lupin admitted. "It affects muggles as well. A lot of sorcerers died on that ship. They stayed behind to help hold it up. Most didn't apparate away as they didn't want to take up spaces in the boats that others could need. Muggles only know about the design of that ship that let it sink slowly which is partly true. But the magical residue of witches &amp; wizards that died created that so-called curse." He bit a piece of chocolate. "Superstitions, eh?"

"I guess," Harry shrugged. "Been to Canada lately?"

"No," Lupin laughed at him. "Oh but the Titanic is sunk in Canadian waters."

"Hang on," Harry suddenly thought. "Dumbledore was on that ship to."

"Was he?" Lupin stared a moment. "I didn't know that."

"If all these powerful sorcerers were on that ship, why did they let it sink?"

"Most say it was a magic experiment gone wrong," Lupin said. "The iceberg was a cover. Oh yes, it did hit the berg but there was a jinx on it. Before a counter was found it was more than too late. Most people didn't even know the ship was going under until the very end. Some say it was Grindelwald's fault."

"Who's that?"

"A dark wizard almost as bad as Voldemort," Lupin stated simply. "Dumbledore finally put him away though. For a while, the wizarding world was fine, then Voldemort showed up."

"I'll be sure to avoid luxury ocean-liners until Voldemort's gone then," said Harry. "Both Dumbledore &amp; my grandfather was on board Titanic. Quite amazing!"

"That's how I got cursed with that ship," Lupin said. "Your father mentioned that fact about your grandfather &amp; I was hooked on Titanic ever since. I wonder if it's still here." Lupin beckoned Harry to follow as he led the way into the Library's Annex &amp; then almost up to the iron barred doors of the Restricted Section. Leaving Harry below, Lupin quickly scaled a ladder going up one wall of bookshelves until he reached the ledge to the next level. Ducking under flapping books, he disappeared out of sight for a few minutes. "Found it!" Lupin suddenly appeared in midair as he jumped down. Harry was sure he would break his legs but Lupin landed light as a feather on his toes. "What? Moony's strong. Here," Lupin handed over a small yellowed book.

Harry opened up the book. It was full of moving wizard pictures, all of Titanic. "Wow. She was a pretty ship inside."

"Mhm," Lupin nodded. "Those were taken by various sorcerers on one camera. The pictures are all in order. Near the end, you'll see her in distress. James insisted that the camera was given to his grandmother &amp; your grandfather Charlus when they left. Let me know when you're on page 221."

Harry took some time getting there as there were so many pictures of parties &amp; the decks of Titanic. Then suddenly, the angle of the pictures changed. They were now taken from a position away from the mother ship which was now partly underwater at the front. He finally flipped to 221. Titanic was on end &amp; then broke apart, the back end splashing down &amp; creating waves as it struck ocean water once more like a giant whale's tail. "Found it."

"That was taken by Charlus," Lupin said. "So James told me."

"Whoa!" Harry watched the break up again. How the hell was he standing here? Only because Charlus was young then. It seemed like Dark Lords plagued Harry's existence even before he existed. "That is scary! It's amazing anyone survived that."

"Yep, you're officially cursed," Lupin walked away laughing.

Harry watched the picture replay the snapping of Titanic. He saw in tiny letters on the bottom 'Charlus Potter' written out. His grandfather's picture? He stared at it a long time, wishing he could rip it out for himself. But it would interrupt the story told by the pictures as they went right to the end &amp; then stopped just before the back end of Titanic disappeared. It was with great difficulty that he released the book so it could fly back to its place high among the shelves of the older parts of the library. Harry headed back to his father's writings.

* * *

Padfoot was in love with me. I couldn't believe it! I don't think either of us planned to go this far. I wasn't even into guys, especially after my encounter with Orion Black. I was terrified of guys! But Padfoot? I wondered how I ever got along not loving him. Yes I returned the feeling. I had felt this way for a while.

What about Lily? Remus? I had no idea what he had planned for either of them or us, but at the moment, all I cared about was standing here, letting him hold me. Me! Not some girl whose name we forget in a day. Not even Remus. Me.

After what seemed like an eternity that was far too short, he pulled away. "Hey, I have an idea for a kind of gift to our muggleborn friends."

Just like that, Remus &amp; Lily had come up. Great! "What is it?"

"Well," Sirius stood away from me &amp; held his hands in the air. "We need Flitwick's help."

"Flitwick's?"

"Yeah," Sirius said. "It's the holidays now. I was thinking for something at the New Year's Party."

"Ok, what sort of Charms do you think we'll need?"

"Um, not uh not exactly Charms, per se," he passed a hand through his long black hair. "Flitwick teaches two things you know."

"Yeah he's the choir mast—oh no. Can you even sing?"

"No idea," Sirius shrugged. "But I'd like to try &amp; I do know you're a good dancer."

* * *

Harry glanced up, staring at nothing. "Why do I get the feeling this is going to end badly?"

* * *

"Well I," I stammered. "Remus says I rip off dance moves from the girls in ABBA &amp; the Jackson 5, namely Michael. But I'm not that good at it. Are you asking me out to the dance? You want to take this public?"

"I am asking you to the dance but we don't have to take it public," Sirius said rather fast. "I know you want something secret for yourself. Besides, people would want to know why we're together &amp; you don't want that out. We also have Lily &amp; Remus to take care of."

"What are you scheming, you crazy man?" I gave up &amp; asked him point blank. He ended up explaining to me what he wanted Flitwick for, but he left me in the dark on Lily &amp; Remus.

We had to invite Flitwick outside the shielding of Hogwarts which wouldn't allow most muggle contraptions to work. As he was already leaving for Hogsmeade anyway, we cornered him there &amp; got him to agree to come with us to the next town with muggle folk. Sirius had picked out apparently Remus's favourite song at the time from some muggle British band called 'Sweet' &amp; he had a taped copy of it. He had borrowed the player in a hotel &amp; pushed play but nothing happened.

Flitwick (who easily passed himself off as a midget) &amp; I glanced at each other while Sirius muttered (quite unkindly) in French at the contraption. I finally noticed the cord &amp; remembered something about that. I plugged it into the nearest hole in the wall. It didn't fit so I turned the plug upside down. I think. I don't know. I'm a freaking pure ok? Hex me! Anyway, despite the fact that my stupid beautiful Grim dog knew more about muggle contraptions than I did (all to help his rebellion against his family along); I at least, got the thing to work.

* * *

Harry burst out laughing as he facepalmed. "Yep this is going to be bad! Hey Dad? It's called an outlet &amp; the plugs have one larger prong on it. You ought to know the word prong, Prongs. Just for the record."

* * *

Sirius glared, then pushed play again. A fast paced rock 'n' roll song was heard. I glared back at him. He expected us to sing this? I half-hoped Flitwick would think the idea ludicrous, dock some points off both of us for ever bothering him &amp; walk away.

Turns out, he loved it.

Great, we had less than a month to work on it before the New Year's dance!

Have I mentioned lately that I hate Sirius?

* * *

Harry nodded vigorously, took a bite of a sandwich he had stolen from the Great Hall &amp; continued reading.

* * *

Leaving it all in Flitwick's hands, Sirius &amp; I took off to finish our Hogsmeade vacation with Remus &amp; Peter.

For Christmas, I pushed out my horns part way &amp; was able to pass them off as festive decorations. Others wore actual headbands with antlers sticking out of them or Santa elf hats. They were impressed with my realistic-looking antlers. For the first time since I've known him, Sirius was not impressed. He considered it reckless exposure &amp; pointed out that since I had little control over Prongs, who's to say the whole damn Stag won't appear?

It would have been fine if it weren't for that one stupid Hufflepuff girl. Those from Year 5 to 7 were allowed to stay in the Great Hall longer for the Christmas party. Late into the night, Sirius encountered a problem that nearly ripped Prongs out of me. The girls were starting to come on to him again. It had been several months since he had done his rounds of Hogwarts witches &amp; they were starting to talk. Odette Bennet has had her eye on him since the end of our OWL year. Back then, he had promised to date her when we returned in the fall. Of course that had never happened &amp; now she was starting to dislike being ignored.

She wasn't even ignored. Sirius &amp; I had actually forgotten about her, since we had more urgent issues to deal with. She caught him in the Grand Entrance &amp; pushed him under the stairs.

That's where I caught them. She had her wand pressed against his Adam's apple, thinking to have her way with him. I knew immediately that Sirius didn't want to be there, but who ever heard of Sirius refusing a girl's advances? She didn't seem to notice. I huffed &amp; felt my horns rise higher. Sirius's eyes flew open wider in alarm &amp; the rest happened in a blur.

"What are you doing?" I grabbed her long brown curly mane &amp; yanked her right off Sirius, then twisted around &amp; threw her across the floor. I had used the strength of Prongs.

"POTTER!" Odette cried out as she hit the floor. She touched her hip gingerly. We all knew she'd get a bruise there. Good! I've had to deal with my fair share of bruises there for a while.

I dropped chin to chest &amp; was about to charge. Sirius punched me! "Calm down!"

"What did you do that for?" Odette sobbed as she tried to limp forward. She held her left side with both hands.

"Sirius didn't want you touching him!" I shot back.

"JAMES!" I felt Sirius throw me behind him &amp; further under the stairs into the dark. I knew why. My horns were coming out completely. Next would be the Stag &amp; I found I didn't care any more. I wanted to charge her, run her down. Anything to drive her away. If this stair decided to take off when Sirius was trying to hide my illegal Animagic, I'd probably burst out laughing at the irony of it all. "Stupify!"

I woke up in a broom cupboard a while later, Sirius leering over me. "Wha...?"

Sirius punched me again! "I told you to get that damn Stag under control but what do you decide to do? Go rutting against some woman &amp; try to charge her! Prongs, what is WRONG with you?"

"She was forcing you."

"She was doing no such thing!" Sirius balled up one fist. I ducked but he didn't swing at me. "Yes, she had me pressed up against the stairs. But she wouldn't have hurt me. I'd have gotten rid of her myself but no no no! You had to go all Wild America on her arse!"

"I just wanted to—"

"I know exactly what you wanted!" Sirius shouted at me. "Do you honestly think I don't know what's going on? I heard Prongs whistle at me the last time I gave you the rub! You're in the rut &amp; since you can't control him, your instinct is to charge down anyone who so much as looks at me. Get that thing under control!"

"Padfoot, I can't help how I feel about you."

"Nor I you," Sirius put a hand on my cheek. "But Jim, if you go to Azkaban even for a second, it'll destroy me. You've suffered enough." He kissed me. Long. Deep. Sensual. Then he ripped my heart out. "Destroy him."

"What?"

"Destroy Prongs," Sirius repeated.

"WHAT?!" I couldn't believe what he was asking me to do. If you destroy your Animagus form, you could never learn another one.

"The anti-magus potion takes an hour &amp; half to make," He held up a vial. "I've had it ready since our first Quidditch game. Destroy him." He held it out to me. "Now!"

He made me cry that night. I couldn't believe what he was asking me to do. He upset me more when he revealed that he had that hellish potion that would rip Prongs away from me forever ready for me for months! "Sirius. Don't!"

"I would rather die than see you, Remus or Peter in Azkaban! Now drink it!"

"Sirius please!" I got on my knees as if begging. I was begging. "Please! What would we tell Remus?"

"The truth!" Sirius uncorked the vial. "You didn't learn Animagic well enough. Prongs would kill you. Now drink it!" He grabbed my hair &amp; tipped my head back.

"FORCE ME TO TAKE THIS &amp; YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN YOUR FATHER!"

Sirius released me like a live wire. I stood up, glaring through angry tears. "Jim..."

"Force me &amp; I'll kill you!" I meant every last word. "Do you hear me? I'll bloody kill you! I'll lie you down in a grave by your bastard father!"

He back-handed me so hard across the face, that my body was turned into the wall. I closed my eyes &amp; leaned against that wall. It was over. Our love. Our very friendship. All gone! Just like that. The worst thing was? It was all my fault. I knew I hurt him when I compared him to his father. I regretted it the same moment I said it. But it was finished. I heard glass shattering. He had dropped the vial.

* * *

Harry had one hand over his mouth as he reread that. "Is this whole mess...your fault Dad? Did you...drive Black away?"

It was a horrible thought. But ...what if?

Harry forced himself…huh forced...to re-assess everything. He hated the Sirius Black out there for killing his parents. But here in these pages? Sirius had never done anything against his father.

Until now.

"_You're not my target. I'm here to protect you. Dumbledore's best."_

Harry ran both hands through his hair. "Oh Merlin! Did Dad drive you away?" In that moment, Harry knew. He would go face Sirius Black again. He would have to be extra careful not to attract Moony. Maybe go after Black during a full moon. Something certainly wasn't right.

* * *

"If that's how you see me," Sirius whispered. "Mister Potter." He put a hand on the doorknob &amp; opened it a crack. "Don't you ever speak to me again." He opened the door &amp; stepped out.

"No!" I pushed away from the wall &amp; went after him. "Stop! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry." He slowed but didn't stop. He didn't look back at me either. I fell to my knees. "De so lay. DE SO LAY! (French for sorry.) Padfoot!" I thought I knew what cry your heart out meant before now. I was wrong. Every last tear within me fought to be the first to fall &amp; they all came out at once. He had stopped. Finally stopped walking away from me. "Don't take another step! Not one more! I'm so sorry!" I kept apologising in both French &amp; English.

He came back. He came back! I knelt there panting, my heart racing faster than ever. All I wanted was his forgiveness. Crossing his arms, he sent me a murderous look. He raised one brow in a Spock-ish sort of way. "Would you like to know where I was headed just now?" His voice was sweet &amp; loving &amp; I knew, I was in serious trouble! "I was heading for Dumbledore to ask him to sort me into another house."

"Sirius! NO! Please don't!" Merlin's sake, will I ever stop crying this year? I've never shed so many tears before now.

"Give me one good reason why I should stay in Gryffindor."

"Two. I've got two!" I couldn't believe he was that mad! "Remus &amp;...&amp;...&amp; je t'aime!"

"I don't have to be a lion to take care of Remus," Sirius continued to glare at me. "And no true lover would ever dare to compare me to Orion Black!" He turned to leave.

"Wait! No don't!" I screamed so loud that my voice was as high as a woman's. The noise of the party beyond the large doors to the Great Hall did not drown out my cry. "Please! Sirius, I didn't mean it. I just got scared is all! Please." I grabbed his hand. "...My Delta..."

Sirius turned back to me &amp; yanked his hand away. "That's the problem, isn't it? I am the last person you ought to be afraid of, Omega!"

"Sirius," I was at my wits end by now. I did not miss the fact that he had not said 'my' Omega. "Prongs means everything to me. I'm not a Marauder without him. I can't run with you against Moony without him. I can't raise Wormtail to safety without him! Please. Don't take him from me. Help me! Please. Go through Animagic with me again. Help me get him under control. Don't kill him!" I could no longer bear to look at his glowering gaze. I bowed my head. "Please Padfoot! I need you."

He touched my head &amp; began petting me. "Do you have any idea how out of line you were?"

"I'm so sorry!" I dared to look up at him. Great! Now he was crying to. What a mess! "I'll do anything!" I put my arms around his neck so he couldn't get away. "I'll quit being an Auror so you won't have to work with me." I turned my face to kiss his arm. "I'll drop out of school &amp; only come around on full moons so you don't have to leave Gryffindor." I kissed his cheek. "Anything Padfoot! Even s—s ..." I stopped, then Frenched him so I wouldn't have to finish that word. He knelt down in front of me &amp; I was able to bury my face in his shoulder. "Can't breathe. Oh Sirius! I can barely breathe!"

He finally put his arms around me &amp; I broke down completely. My panic &amp; shock was absolute. "Jim? Shh. It's alright. I'm here. Jim..."

When next I opened my eyes, I was lying on a bed. My bed. Gryffindor Tower. Sirius was lying on his side next to me, looking down at me. Early morning sun was streaming in through the windows. "What happened?"

"You fainted." Sirius pushed back my bangs. "More precisely, you had an anxiety attack."

"So, uh I didn't die &amp; go to heaven then?"

"Why do you think you're in heaven?"

"Well, you're sort of lying here next to me," I muttered. "But didn't we just break up in reality?"

"Almost," Sirius said, flicking up an eyebrow. "But not quite."

Feeling guilty as hell, I looked away for several minutes. "Can you ever forgive me?"

"Can you ever at least consider destroying Prongs?"

TABRENACK!

OFF!

Are you kidding me?

I can't believe he's still harping on that one! Didn't we just nearly get myself killed over this? I HATE HIM! "Don't ever spring something that drastic on me again, ok? Give me time. Work with me." I grabbed his collar &amp; yanked him down so that we were nose to nose. "GENTLY EASE ME INTO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" I let him go. "I need time to consider something like that. It was too much. Too fast. Too sudden! How could you do that to me?" Great. Now it's all his fault. Let's see how he deals with it!

Jerk!

He kissed me.

Stupid bloody jerk!

"I know," Sirius said. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you better be!" I folded my arms &amp; glared at the ceiling.

"I erased Odette's memories of last night," Sirius tried to appease me. "She can blame her bruise on being drunk."

"Yeah, thanks," I muttered. "Merry bloody Christmas!" I had just remembered what day it was today. Sirius burst out laughing. O.M.G. he's such a jerk!

Then he straddled my hips &amp; I could feel every curve &amp; lump between his legs pressed against my own. I gritted my teeth, glowering. I was mad at him. He wasn't allowed to flirt! "Hold up your hand." I rolled my eyes. "Just do it." I raised one hand. "Your cut one." With an annoyed slap to the bedcovers, I let that arm fall &amp; lifted the other one. Sirius pulled out a leather strap. I rolled my eyes again &amp; glanced around to the other beds but they were empty. "They never came up. Passed out in the Great Hall no doubt." He tied the strap over my suicide scars. "I've gotten all us Marauders into wearing these." He held up his own wrist where a black leather strap was tied. "Call them friendship bands but in reality," He gestured at my scars.

"Mhm," I was actually quite impressed &amp; grateful for the idea but I was sooooo freaking mad at him right now that I didn't bother showing it.

He smiled at me. "You've got a bit of a shiner going on there."

"What?" I took my part of the double mirror we used to talk to each other, similar to muggle telephones. I had a small dark purple bruise just under my right eye &amp; it extended down to a small cut over my cheekbone.

"I'm sorry Jim, but I had to keep Prongs from bursting out."

"I really dislike you," I grumbled. "How the hell are we going to explain this?"

"Simple really. You hit a wall," Sirius shrugged. "That's where that cut came in I think."

"I hit a wall," I echoed. It was pretty much the truth.

He shifted to lie on me, the movement working some rather 'swell' wonders on me which I tried not to show. He kissed me again, while bearing down on me in one steady movement. We both got off with that. Then he pulled away from me a little. "Never, say something so vile to me again. Alright?"

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are," Sirius nuzzled into my neck. "But you only get once chance with me about something like that. Don't blow it, Potter. I'll make you regret it."

* * *

"You DID drive him away!" Harry laid it aside for hopefully the final time. So that's what happened. James Potter must have made yet another snide remark like that. Even Harry couldn't believe how stupid it was, comparing Sirius to Orion. After all they had gone through. Lily must have gotten caught in some crossfire but James had been the target.

So how would that explain all the muggles that died &amp; that other wizard Pe—Peter? PETER! Was that Peter this same Peter here?

"Oh what am I missing?" Harry cried out. "Dad, what aren't you telling me? Is this your fault or not?"

He picked up the cracking pages once more.

* * *

As New Years Eve loomed over us, I was suddenly feeling nervous. Why had I agreed to this? If it was last year, I'd have revelled in it &amp; bragged about it. Now I hate being the center of attention. I would actually be up there on stage with the rest of the Hogwarts Choir. I realised what Sirius was doing. He was reintroducing me to my fans.

I used to be a great show off. During Quidditch matches, I could fly standing on my broom handle at high speed, yet have my hands free to clap against everyone's outstretched hands in the stands. I was a bit of a trick-flier. It had come naturally to me. Same thing went for dancing. I had been to one ABBA concert with Remus &amp; watched both them &amp; others on his TV. I just picked stuff up like that. (Yet I'm so confused on how ABBA are made of full sized humans yet still get into that tiny box in Moony's living room. I just don't get it.)

* * *

Harry facepalmed. In fact, he decided to stay in that position while reading through New Years. "It's the same way that great ship Titanic came to be a tiny thing in that little book, Dad! Merlin's sake, I'm so glad I'm not a pureblood."

* * *

Now, I could barely stand Lily's eyes watching me, let alone the whole school. But could I pull out?

Nope! Sirius forced me to face him. "I'll be up there with you. Just let the music move you. Let it take control. Just like you used to do."

Yeah right! If it weren't for my aversion to fans, I knew it would have been easy. Flitwick was a great teacher &amp; it turned out that both Sirius &amp; I had voices well-suited to that song. We were perfect in practise, but I had no idea how to handle every last eye staring at me.

The party started long before midnight. Flitwick had the choir going with other songs until midnight &amp; I avoided the stage until the last possible moment. In the meantime, I know Sirius spiked my eggnog! He got me a little high &amp; drunk so that I wouldn't care.

Or at least he tried. But I was still so traumatised inside that I was completely sober when it came time to join Flitwick's band up there. Then the lights went out apart from torches in the corner casting a near-romantic glow around the edges of the Great Hall. I couldn't see them so well as before. Sirius then removed my glasses. Now, I really couldn't see murd! (French for shit by the way. No idea how to spell it but whatever.)

"How many times do I have to tell you to trust me?" He kissed me quickly behind the curtains, then disappeared out there leaving me no choice but to suck it up, buttercup! No matter. I now felt light as a feather.

Sirius skipped to the front of the stage. "Are you ready Hogwarts? This one's for our muggleborn friends. Popular a couple years ago!"

I ran out at that moment &amp; the only thing stopping me from ploughing head over heels off the stage was Sirius grabbing my hand. I really couldn't see much but if I squinted, I could make out—make out, what a weird multi-purpose phrase—make out barely Remus &amp; Peter right in front of me. Well, that's ok. No one else though please. I called out the first line &amp; the answers from the crowd filled in the lyrics.

"Are you ready Remus?

Uh what?

Lily?

Yeah? (She was somewhere off to the side, totally confused but close.)

Sirius?

Ok.

Alright fellas lets go!

(OH YOU GITS! Remus suddenly understood what we were doing. He burst out laughing as Sirius &amp; I started. I DON'T BELIEVE IT! YOU IDIOTS! He had to cover his mouth with both hands to hide his fangs while he laughed. Oops, didn't think of that. Oh well. He got it covered.)

Oh it's been getting so hard,

Livin' with the things you do to me.

Aha

Oh my dreams are getting so strange,

I'd like to tell you everything I see.

(Sirius pointed at someone who he later insisted was Snape while Remus doubled over laughing.) Oh I see a man at the back as a matter of fact;

His eyes are red as the sun.

By now Harry had his own hand over his mouth. "I'm so calling in sick for Potions for a while."

(I saw Lily moving closer to Remus. She was laughing at me to. Good, 'cause her line's up!) And the girl in the corner? Let no one ignore her

'cause she thinks she's the passionate one! (She tried so hard to glare at me as Sirius &amp; I harmonized together again.)

Oh yeah, it was like lightning!

Everybody was frightening,

And the music was soothing,

And they all started grooving!

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!

And the man at the back said, Everyone attack

And it turned into a ballroom blitz!

And the girl in the corner said, Boy I wanna warn ya, (Lily wagged an accusing finger at me.)

It'll turn into a ballroom blitz!

Ballroom Blitz!

Ballroom Blitz!

Ballroom Blitz!

Ballroom Blitz!

(Sirius &amp; I both danced back to back for a bit, before he took over the lyrics.)

Ah ah I'm reaching out for something;

Touching nothing's all I ever do.

Oh-oh I softly call you over (He summoned me over with a finger.) when you appear

There's nothing left of you.

Aha

Now the man in the back is ready to crack

as he raises his hands to the sky.

And the girl in the corner is ev'ry one's mourner.

She could kill you with a wink of her eye! (I think Lily winked at me, but I'm never going to ask her! I continued to sing with Sirius.)

Oh yeah, it was electric.

So frightfully hectic!

And the band started leaving

'cause they all stopped breathing!

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

And the man at the back said, Everyone attack

And it turned into a Ballroom Blitz!

And the girl in the corner said, Boy I wanna warn ya

It'll turn into a Ballroom Blitz! Ballroom Blitz!

(HOLY FLAMING PHOENIX! FLITWICK IS CROWD-SURFING! CROWD-SURFING! I just barely caught sight of him running off the stage &amp; jumping onto the crowd! When that happened, I decided to go all out with the dance. If a Professor can go crazy like that, so could I. Crowd-surfing! Charms will never be the same!)

* * *

"Nope!" Harry agreed, wiping tears from his eyes.

* * *

(Flitwick had upped the beat a bit &amp; as far as I could hear, the crowd was loving it. I let it take over me. HEY PRONGS! Remus called out! I THINK I GOT YOU THE WRONG GIFT! I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN YOU A POLE FOR CHRISTMAS! Yeah well, Moon mutt's gonna die! So there. That said, he did have a point. I could feel myself twisting &amp; turning to the music &amp; I just let myself go. Flitwick had returned to the stage as Sirius &amp; I finished the song.)

Oh yeah, it was like lightning!

Everybody was frightening,

And the music was soothing,

And they all started grooving!

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

And the man at the back said, Everyone attack

And it turned into a Ballroom Blitz!

And the girl in the corner said, Boy I wanna warn ya

It'll turn into a Ballroom Blitz!

Ballroom Blitz!

Ballroom Blitz!

Ballroom Blitz!

Ballroom Blitz!

(By now, Sirius looked every bit a rocker, swishing his shoulder length black hair back &amp; forth. He had even let his beard grow out a bit for the night into a goatee.)

It's it's a Ballroom Blitz!

It's-it's a Ballroom Blitz!

It's-it's a Ballroom Blitz!

Yeah, it's a Ballroom Blitz!

(Flitwick finished with a large explosion of fireworks inside the Great Hall. Sirius &amp; I clapped our hands together &amp; jumped off the stage onto Remus &amp; Peter.)"

"I can't believe you guys did that!" Remus exclaimed loudly over the noise.

"Yeah, I can't believe I just read that!" Harry wasn't sure what he was laughing at by now. A muggle rock song played in this very school. His father a potential pole dancer. Both his father &amp; Sirius Black out there, singing. Or Flitwick crowd-surfing. "I'd give all my galleons to see that one! A crowd-surfer! Wicked!"

Remus, Lily &amp; several other of our muggleborn friends kept us up late into the night when we finally returned to Gryffindor Tower. All demanded how we managed to get Flitwick to agree to a non-magic band song. It was easy. Turns out he had a penchant for muggle music &amp; had been looking for an excuse to bring some of it into the school. None of us got to bed until late in the morning &amp; we all slept most of the day.

As the holidays drew to a close, I had to face getting on a broom again as the Quidditch had started up once more &amp; Charlotte wanted us to practise, practise, practise.

* * *

Harry took a moment to check his watch &amp; he stared at the time to make sure he was reading it right. "_Merde. Merde! MERDE!"_ Harry used the French word for shit as he leapt from his bed, tossed everything into his trunk &amp; locked it. He was nearly ten minutes late &amp; he hadn't even left the dormitory. Speaking of Quidditch practise, the Gryffindor team had booked the Pitch for this very evening! Harry ran as if being chased by demons &amp; showed up so out of breath that he collapsed to the floor until the dizziness wore away a few minutes later. "I'm here. I'm ok! Let's do this! I'm fine!"

"What the flaming Phoenix is wrong with you?"

"I have no idea what the 'tabrenacking' Phoenix is wrong with me," Harry wheezed. "I'm here aren't I?

"What was that you said?"

"I'm not quite sure how to say it," Harry shrugged. "It's Canadienne. Ask Lupin." He shouldered his broom &amp; headed out for the Pitch.

"Did he just say to knock up a Phoenix?" Fred asked his twin.

"Wicked," George schemed. Fawkes would be the victim of whatever tests the twins schemed up next, provided they got their hands on him.

* * *

_(AN: Yeah yeah, ripped off Sherlock again. Lol)_


	13. Chapter 13

**(13) Tribal Summons**

When it was time for Quidditch practise to start again, I asked Sirius to remove his charms so I could see if I could ride properly. Our next game was in a month &amp; a half, just after Valentine's Day. But Charlotte said that we had gotten fat &amp; lazy over the holidays &amp; she wanted us to get into shape now or else.

Well she had a point. Sixteen of them really. I wasn't fat. I was actually underweight due to this stressful year. But Prongs? He had almost always been fat, probably because whenever I used him, he tried to waste time chewing cud when I was trying to keep Moony away from humans. Stupid Stag!

Technically speaking, though she didn't know it at the time, it's Lily's fault that Prongs is fat. She hated me from the start, but when she first met Prongs, she thought first of all that he was just a wild Stag &amp; second of all, she liked him just fine. She had fed Prongs throughout the past couple of years. Sugar cubes, Candied fruit. Apples &amp; when Sirius finally got through to her, pineapple. He had convinced her that deer like pineapple, not apples, since pineapple was my favourite. But it all comes down to the fact that Prongs is a pig in Stag's clothing &amp; he is fatter than Santa Clause. Granted, he had lost a bit since last summer but as Charlotte said, he managed to pick it up again over the holidays. I'm just grateful it doesn't affect my human form.

Yet.

What was I saying? Oh yeah. Prongs is stupid (&amp; fat) &amp; I'm trying to sit on a broom properly for the first time since last summer. Here goes nothing.

Anyway, the practise was fine, though I waited until no one but Sirius was looking at me to get off my broom. It wasn't unbearable any more, but I was still a bit sore. I just needed to get used to a normal broom again. I was getting better at being the Seeker &amp; felt that by the next game, I should be fine.

Sirius did not bring up Prongs again for which I was grateful. I knew he was right about the Stag becoming uncontrollable. Wild. But to destroy him? I couldn't bear that right now. Though I didn't show it, or tell him, I found myself often silently crying myself to sleep, horrified at the mere suggestion. Part of me knew he was right. But if I lost Prongs, there will be more scars on my wrists &amp; this time, I'd be sure to pick a place no one will find me until long after I passed on.

I can't lose Prongs. I won't!

I began using my Invisibility Cloak to sneak into the Restricted Section of the library at night. When we had first learned Animagic, we had used old books from the great Black library that Sirius stole from his parents' house during breaks from school. He never returned them but instead had found a hidden shelf to put all of them on so we could refer to them whenever we needed to.

There were seventeen books altogether, some of them four inches thick. We never read all of them right through. I suppose now we probably should have. We had merely studied through them enough to learn how to become an animal. Now I started reading them all from front to back. I was looking for a way to heal Animagustral Power.

Sirius caught me sneaking out one night &amp; from then on, he came with me to help look for a remedy besides destroying Prongs. While the match between Ravenclaw &amp; Slytherin went on, we both spent the time going through the books. We read in silence. By now we were nearly done. I finished a rather larger book &amp; put it aside, finding nothing. Then I noticed a tiny book not much bigger than my hand. I stared at its title for a long time.

"Tribal Summons"

Did I dare? Yes. Yes I did. "Sirius, I need your help."

"Found something?"

"I want to do the Ritual," I said. He let his book fall. "I want to do it &amp; I'm asking you to be my Watchtower."

"James!" Sirius gasped. "We don't know enough for that."

"It's all here," I lifted up the tiny book.

"It isn't enough," Sirius shook his head. "You &amp; I both know that if the Spirit refuses, the Summoner dies. We're illegal. All our Spirits are already upset with us for that."

"I have to speak to him," I stated firmly. I've never felt more calm in my life than in that moment. I knew this was the right way. "Please don't make me drag in Peter. I'd rather not explain this to anyone else. But I will do this!"

"We have to wait for a New Moon."

I tucked the book into my pocket &amp; picked up the Cloak. I knew Sirius would try to change my mind from now until then. Yeah well, good luck with that! "We will wait."

I was wrong. Sirius barely spoke to me for the next week &amp; a half &amp; I was almost ready to consider another Animagus to come with me (dreading the fact that I would have to expose my rape to anyone else) when Sirius showed up with a gold-bladed dagger. I was sitting on my bed doing homework, when he shoved it under my nose.

"Promise me, you'll stay alive through this."

"I will," I wasn't afraid at all. I knew this was right.

"You know the rules," Sirius went on. "You can't take anything against the pain or to heal afterwards. It all has to be natural."

"I know."

He sat on the bed in front of me, shoved my parchments &amp; quill to the floor, then leaned forward &amp; kissed me. I felt the cold metal at my throat. He continued to kiss me as he pushed me down under him until we were lying across my bed. I felt a prick at my throat from his blade. He finally broke off with me but kept the blade firmly in place. "Then steel yourself against tomorrow night because I am really going to hurt you."

"I trust you."

"Good," Sirius kissed me again. "Because I don't trust myself."

"It'll be fine, Pads."

He merely scoffed &amp; went to his own bed, tucking the blade under his pillow.

We put a mild sleeping draught into the drinks of Remus &amp; Peter so they wouldn't follow us &amp; stumble on something they shouldn't. We then exited the castle under Cloak &amp; headed for the Dark Forest. Neither of us spoke, being lost in our own thoughts. I knew Sirius was terrified of not only my impending death but also of hurting me. I was prepared for both &amp; doubted I would die. While walking towards the Forest, I went through all the self-training we had done to become animals for our werewolf.

Animagic is neither Light or Dark. It is a grand thing once mastered but it isn't without its horrors such as this Ritual tonight. There are plenty of reasons why it's illegal without Ministry approval.

Animagic is Tribal Power from millennia upon millennia ago. When Native Indians speak of Spirit Guides, they refer to an old power from their ancestors. A Spirit Guide is an animal that guides one's life. It is a Spirit from long ago of ancestral elders. To become an Animagus, one must find what their Spirit Guide was, then summon it, then merge with it. Prongs, my Stag? He used to be a Lakotan Chief about four thousand years ago named Swift Horn. Padfoot is from the Iroquois (who was originally a woman named Tiny Bubbles) &amp; Wormtail is Algonquin (Bloodclaw, a Brave &amp; great hunter).

* * *

"Whoa," Harry suddenly thought of McGonagall. That Cat? An actual living person thousands of years ago? He had heard of Spirit Guides before of course, but had never put much thought into them.

* * *

The Ministry official that oversees any Animagustral attempts are Native Indians who either deem one worthy or not. To become an Animagus, one must first belong to a tribe, learn their language, their ways. That was to please the Spirit Guides. The Merge happened only if they approved. Our three Spirits were angry with us when we first met for doing this without permission of their descendants. They had demanded why we wanted to Merge. Then we told them of the werewolf. They had become curious &amp; the death threats stopped. They had finally agreed &amp; not one but three Merges had occurred.

The Ritual summons them out of your body to speak to them. If they weren't pleased, the Summoner, who was originally the Animagus, dies.

All who Merge bear a living tattoo that runs about on your flesh. It won't go to the face (so as not to block the eyes, considered to be the windows to the soul) but I have had an outline of Prongs on both my hands on more than one occasion. The three of us learned rather quickly to be ambidextrous to hide the Spirit tattoo when it showed up at random.

I broke out of my memories as we arrived at the spot deep in the Forest where the Merges had taken place. The altar was still there as was the old fire pit. There was no snow here, being so far under the trees. Our protective shields from two &amp; a half years ago were still up. Sirius added a Warming Charm to keep out the cold &amp; then lit the fire. He set the blade part of the sheathed dagger into the flames &amp; then stood by the altar, a long slab of stone that was just big enough to lie down on. He didn't speak &amp; neither did I. We both knew what to do.

Now that the time had come, I was afraid of the coming pain. I took my time to strip down completely but eventually I was standing naked before Sirius for a very different reason from flirtations in the showers. I held my hands out, watching the small but intricate outline of my Stag cavort down my right arm &amp; over my shoulder. With a quick move, Sirius had stepped behind me &amp; clapped a hand to my back.

Close to my tail bone. Great! So it's that part that will get hurt all over again.

"I caught him. He won't move now."

I was about to ask if it had to be there of all places, but I knew that it was the only place that would work. Catch Prongs anywhere else, I would die. We stood like that for several minutes, his hand still touching my lower back. I was shaking. Damn it! Why didn't I expect this? Why was it so surprising? It was the only place that would work. I should have known!

"There's still time to back out."

"No."

"This won't be like Orion."

"I know," I finally stepped to the altar. "It'll be worse." If it had been anyone else, I would have given up. But I was with my Grim. He'll take care of me. He was my Watchtower. He would stand by me to the end &amp; witness this. As he went to the fire to retrieve the hot golden blade, I began chanting in Lakotian, speaking to Prongs. Calling him out. By now I was kneeling in the center of the altar, ignoring the hard stone against my legs. I continued my summons. I felt the power of the Spirit rip through me, jerking my body back. I found myself staring at the sky as I finished the call.

Sirius put a hand under my head &amp; pushed me forward to lie face down on the altar. He used Carpe Retractum to bind me, hand &amp; foot, to the four corners of the altar &amp; then stood at my head. "This is so not what I imagined tying you up for."

"Just get it done." My eyes were level with his belt &amp; I watched him take it off &amp; fold it. He put it in my mouth to bite on.

"I'll be as quick as I can," he kissed my brow, then went to the side &amp; out of my sight. I heard the shhh of the dagger being pulled out of its sheath.

Instinctual panic took over but I was bound firmly in place. He made the first cut &amp; I squealed into the leather between my teeth. He cut again.

Sirius had to cut every single line on the tattoo. He was carving Prongs into my living flesh. The cuts not only stung with every slice, but also burned from the hot blade. The heat boiled back my flesh from every line but I'd rather this any day than Orion. I suddenly threw my head back in a scream, the belt dropped to the ground. Sirius had hit the tailbone with that hell-hot blade &amp; he could not stop to give the belt back. Once started, it was death to stop for both of us until it was finished. He cut the next line, also through the bone. In fact, his next several engravings were on the bone as he finished the middle section of the tattoo.

By now, I was keening for it to be over. It can't last much more than this, can it? I heard &amp; felt Sirius move to my other side to finish. He struck again. It didn't hurt as much as going through my bone. My blood was running out of Prongs &amp; down the left side of the altar. Now, it was starting to stain the right side as Sirius continued to carve out Prongs.

"Almost over," he suddenly said. "Seven more lines ...four more. Hold on."

"Padfoot! It hurts!"

"I know, two more!"

The next thing I knew, my binds were loosed. He was finished but the entire image of his butcher's work still burned. I heard the fire sizzle loudly as Sirius cast off my blood from his hands into the flames. "Come James. You have to."

"I can't..." I wanted to pass out.

"You must!" Sirius ordered. "Come now!"

He couldn't help me. I'm the Summoner. I'm the one who had to choose to move or die. Well, I didn't want to die right now, that was for sure. I held my breath &amp; pushed myself off the altar now damp with my sweat, tears &amp; blood. I stumbled for balance as my back felt enflamed with agony. Ignoring it as best possible, I looked at the fire &amp; began marching towards it, my scarred hand outstretched in front of me. I began chanting the summons once more. The flames rose up to twice their height, past our heads. A true bonfire. They suddenly turned a blue-black &amp; I stepped into their center.

I was surrounded by white. No more pain. No heat. No Sirius. Though I knew all of that was just beyond the borders of this Spirit Realm. I heard the thudding of galloping hooves &amp; turned sharply. All I saw was more white but some unseen thing slammed into me &amp; knocked me down.

I called to him. I knew that was Swift Horn. A great see-through white Stag appeared in front of me, horns down. I closed my eyes &amp; let him charge me full on. He went through me. I heard a voice that echoed several times in the Native language.

"First called (first, first) without (called without) asking (called—out asking...ing)."

I felt a force of air whip past me as the Spirit took another dive.

"Now called (now, now) in (called in) secret (in secret...secret)."

The force swooped by me from the opposite direction.

"Pain ...(pain...pain...)"

That creature was all around me now. I could feel its rage. Oh Merlin! I am going to die!

"Rage ...(rage...rage...)"

I felt it coming for me &amp; I ran backwards but wasn't fast enough.

"Terrible …(…er...ible)"

I was flat on my back &amp; it hurt. I was back in the mortal world. Outside the fire &amp; my lower back was carved open down to the bone. I had to stand. I forced myself up &amp; glanced around.

"Jim, you did it!" Sirius pointed ahead of us. "There he is!" My eyes stung with tears demanding to fall for the pain in my body. I blinked them away &amp; looked in the direction Sirius was pointing. I did not need glasses for this. I could see Prongs, bright as day, walking towards me.

A great silvery Stag came to within an inch of my nose. We gazed in each others eyes as Sirius stepped aside to inspect the Stag from an angle. He suddenly pulled me to him.

"Look," He pointed along the Stag's side. "There too." He indicated the chest &amp; several other places on the body of Prongs as the Stag slowly turned around.

The silvery body was ripped open &amp; the gashes bled silver blood that sparkled on the ground wherever the Stag walked.

I spoke Lakotan to him. "What's wrong, Prongs?"

The Stag flickered in &amp; out of view a few times, then disappeared. In its place stood a man that seemed to be in his thirties; though, he was much older. He wore a large headdress over his head that hung half way down his legs. He was dressed for hunting &amp; held a spear in his right hand. (If I had taken that anti-magus potion, this Spirit would have been destroyed.)

That silver blood oozed out from his sides, right through his clothes &amp; littered the ground we stood upon.

"Our binds. Breaking," Swift Horn spoke in our shared tongue. I repeated it to Sirius.

"I think he's talking about the Merge."

Looking back at Swift Horn, I pointed at the altar. "When we met first time?" I asked in his language. He nodded. "What broke us?"

Swift Horn pointed at Sirius. "Your father," I translated. In Lakotan, I said, "Yes, he hurt us. I couldn't let you out to save us. It would have killed Remus."

"You three are so young," Swift Horn replied, referring to us as well as Peter. "The Wolf is a good creature. You are wise to protect him. But so young."

"Tell me, how do we make this right?"

"Heal us."

"How?"

"Destroy the sword that cut us apart," Swift Horn raised a hand to silence me. "I am what your people call Two-Spirit." He looked pointedly at Sirius for a moment who couldn't understand since this wasn't his Tribe. Swift Horn looked around, studying the area. Then he spoke in English! "One of your own will betray you to death." With that, he vanished.

I collapsed nearly to the ground but Sirius caught me. "Are you ok?"

I took a moment to recover my wits. I noticed that my back didn't hurt anymore. "I think so." I lay face first on the ground to rest.

"Jim!' Sirius put a hand on my back &amp; stroked my spine. "It's all healed."

"Good," I lifted my head &amp; pushed out antlers. "I still have him."

He handed over my glasses, then lay beside me. "Hornhead, don't you EVER make me do this again! I hate seeing you hurt."

"Sorry," I actually had the nerve to smirk at him, pulling my horns in again.

"Hey," He slapped my shoulder. "I mean it. I felt like I was cutting out my own heart when I carved you up like an animal at slaughter. Never again!"

"Thanks."

He just grunted. "What was that last thing he said before he spoke English?"

"He was a Two-Spirit," I sighed, feeling tired after that ordeal. "He approves of you &amp; whatever woman I may like."

"Then he said we have a traitor," Sirius added.

"Yeah, I'm still working that one out!" I didn't understand what he meant. A traitor? Someone who would try to kill me? I hated that Swift Horn disappeared right after that revelation. I didn't feel like summoning him back any time soon. But at that moment, I wondered if I would have to. We lay in silence for several minutes. Neither of us dared to broach that subject again. A killer among us? Surely not Remus! The Wolf was too tame. Besides, the way Swift Horn had put it, this would be deliberate, not accidental. My head hurt with suddenly sifting through names of all my friends &amp; distant relatives. I shook it off. "So, you imagined me tied up did you?"

"Oh shut up," He towards me &amp; promptly sealed my lips with his own so I would literally shut up. It didn't work to well as we both had started laughing. I figured out a moment later though, that I was the only one laughing. He was crying. "Oh Prongs, I'm so sorry I hurt you like that."

"It's over now," I said. "Don't worry about it. Come here. It's done now." I pulled him close to me to hold on to him.

Sirius kissed me again as he began stroking my back &amp; side. He soon went to my hip, resting his hand on the bone. "I love the way you touch me," I sighed as I rolled slightly to lie flat on my back with one leg up, hoping for that strange touch again as when he had given me a massage several months ago.

He did so, but only for a moment before lying over me. He held my hands down on either side as he kissed my neck, then chest. He worked his way downwards. Then he met my eyes. "Will you be ok?"

I think my heart actually stopped. I knew then, we were going to attempt something more than usual. This was Sirius, not Orion. "I'll be fine."

We soon had him undressed. I helped with his shirt. I thought it would be fine. I knew I was safe with him. I lay prone on the ground once more, arms crossed with my face buried in them to hide a sheepish snicker. Sirius kissed between my shoulder blades, then worked his way down my spine. Damn it, I need to stop laughing! What the hell? I soon felt that special massage on my inner legs again. I gave up! Coming undone, I pushed myself up on my hands &amp; threw my head back to stare at one star through the trees. As he continued to trace patterns, teasing my skin, all I could do was force myself to breathe as I vibrated from jolt after desirous jolt of gratification pulsing through my entire body.

"You really like that, don't you?"

"I could go on all night!" I gritted my teeth, still focused on that one star above us through the branches. His answer was a prolonged kiss to my tailbone while he still stroked my inner thighs. Knowing he'd take it as an invitation to claim me, I willed myself to lie down again, this time on the altar of his heart instead of the cold grey stone. It's amazing how similar both pain &amp; pleasure are when in the extremes like this. I was so on the edge &amp; needed release soon.

He took his time with me. A warm caress. A touch of gentleness so profound, it made me forget all my fears.

Then we found out that the damage done to me last summer wasn't gone. It was inside me. Out of sight. He had barely pressed inside yet it hurt as much as Orion's touch. I felt the agony of Orion's vileness that had been lurking unknown to me inside my skin, under the bone, flare to life. It was like when you have a bad bruise &amp; touching the center of it makes it hurt worse than when you first got hit. Sirius had thrown himself across the fire to give me space while I recovered.

"I can't believe what that monster did to you!" He exclaimed over the dying flames. "For that to hurt even now!"

I was already more than half dressed. "It isn't your fault. Padfoot, don't worry. You were gentle." I grabbed my cloak. Destroy the sword that cut us apart.

Those gashes on the body of the Spirit were unhealed wounds from Orion. That was why it still hurt.

One of your own will betray you to death,

I knew exactly what Swift Horn meant.

I was the traitor! In that moment, I planned a murder. I was probably going to get killed committing it, but I no longer cared.

Orion Black was the sword that had severed me from my Spirit.

I'm going to kill him!


	14. Chapter 14

**(14) A Flower's Grace**

By now, Harry was holding his head in both hands, trying to recover from the shock of what he had just read. He couldn't decide what had been worse. He knew he would never look at McGonagall in the same way. Did she ever attempt a summons for her Cat? Who was her Cat before it had transcended the mortal world &amp; became a Spirit Guide?

He couldn't believe his father had been so trusting that he had allowed his future murderer to carve him up like that. In fact, Harry was starting to go crazy with the split idea that maybe either this wasn't the same person (perhaps that guy out there just happened to be another Grim Animagus &amp; is using a false name to destroy the good name of the real Sirius Black...&amp; if so, where was the real Sirius Black—dead perhaps?) or maybe—just maybe, mind you—perhaps he was the same person &amp; maybe was framed. Innocent?

Ridiculous!

On both accounts!

Right now, Harry was struggling with the fact that his own father had not only just decided cold blooded murder, but also he stupidly wrote it down admitting that fact. Granted, Orion Black was a horrible person &amp; Harry was glad that he was dead, but at his father's hands? Lupin had said that James had gone ballistic the last time Orion had visited Hogwarts during that year. The last time. Was that Orion's last time ever? Or just the last time for that particular year? Did Lupin know about a murder but not say, or did James wait until he was alone to kill Orion, or hopefully, perhaps James didn't go through with his premeditated murder plans &amp; Orion simply just died?

He hid the memoirs in the bottom of his trunk, wondering if he should continue to read or not; knowing that he had to since James Potter had left it out for someone to find. (Or did James simply feel guilty &amp; left out his post-mortem confession just in case he died so he would have clean conscience? If so, then perhaps there was nothing to find in those pages after all.)

Harry arrived ten minutes late at Transfigurations. The Cat hissed at him, twitching her tail. He sat down in the back row &amp; tried to catch up quickly with Hermione's help. Afterwards, he hung behind until he ended up alone with McGonagall, who was back to her human self by now.

"Yes Mr. Potter, what is it?" She glared at him. It was fortunate that A: he seemed to be her favourite student &amp; B: Lupin had taken off so many points that McGonagall was scrambling to catch up. Those were the only reasons he didn't lose points for being late.

"I was wondering, um, well," Harry wondered how to ask without revealing he suddenly knew quite a bit about Animagic. "Um, how long were you a Cat?"

"For most of the lesson while you did your written essays."

"No, I mean like, when did you first learn how to be a Cat?"

"Oh?" She looked at him, rearranging her glasses. "I was twenty two when I decided to try for lessons at the Ministry Of Magic."

"Oh so, Hogwarts doesn't even offer it?"

"Oh we do," McGonagall said. "First in OWL Year in case any students want to sign up for lessons later. We teach just the theory but not the practical side of it. Theory goes right through NEWTS. Of course, you don't have to sign up for it right away. You can go to the Ministry for that any time of your life. Well, once you're in your OWLS anyway."

"I see," Harry now knew why Sirius had to steal books.

"Are you thinking of trying?" McGonagall suddenly asked.

Harry tried not to think of the horrors of summoning the Spirits. "No, I was just wondering how it worked is all."

"It's based in Native Indian rituals," McGonagall explained. Harry's stomach clenched up at the word rituals. "Spirit Guides &amp; such. You have to be able to summon them before you can learn your animal. Then if you're accepted, there's a Merge."

"How many times have you summoned your Cat?" Harry latched at the chance to ask about summoning.

"Only the first time," McGonagall said. "I've never done a Tribal Summons Ritual. That's if when you wish to speak to your Spirit Guide, you can separate from your Spirit for a moment. But hardly anyone does that once the original Summons &amp; Merge is done."

Oh gee, I wonder why? Harry bit back the sarcastic remark. "So, your Cat is a Spirit?"

"Have you ever heard Indians speak of Spirit Guides?" When Harry nodded, she continued. "Muggle people think it's just an animal. But really, a Spirit Guide was actually an ancestral elder. My Cat for example, used to be a great hunter several millennia ago named Two-Hawks. He was an Apache Indian."

"I never knew it had to do with Indian mysticism!" Well at least, not until quite recently anyway though Harry didn't mention that.

"You should try it," McGonagall insisted. "But not right now. No one can even master that sort of thing until well past the age for Hogwarts."

How wrong she was! "Yeah, it sounds complex. See you later." Harry quickly left to go for lunch.

It wasn't for several days before Harry picked up his father's writings once more. He needed time to relax. January slipped into February, bring more cold weather. Harry started worrying about the upcoming match. He still didn't have his Firebolt &amp; was pestering McGonagall any chance he got about it. He worried about the Dementors &amp; timidly asked Lupin about more lessons. Lupin glared at him.

"I can't even use a Patronus on Black! He's not a Dementor!" Harry insisted. Lupin continued to glare, slightly gold. "Besides," Harry pressed on. "If I don't, then I'm stuck trying to sort out Ron &amp; Hermione again. It's her fault I don't have my Firebolt. I need some protection since I can't have that broom."

"Black could have sent it to you."

"So could Dumbledore."

"Then he wouldn't be part of the Anti-jinx team."

"'Course he would so he won't show favouritism!"

Lupin huffed. Harry glared. Lupin sighed, "Stubborn as your Dad." He half smiled. "Alright, we'll continue but only—ONLY!" he raised his voice before Harry could say anything. "For the game in a few weeks. That's it! But if I hear or see you run off one more time..." Harry shook his head vigorously.

With Anti-Dementor lessons back on, Harry worked extra hard to catch up. He didn't get back to the diary for a few more days. Sometimes, he caught himself staring out at the forest, wondering if that altar stained with his father's blood was still standing. One of those times, he caught sight of Hermione's cat, Crookshanks, following a large black dog.

At the sight of the cat &amp; the Grim communicating, Harry was more determined than ever to finish that diary!

* * *

Though we didn't say it, Sirius &amp; I both knew that the other wanted to kill Orion. In silent agreement, we walked out of the Forest &amp; headed back to Hogwarts under cloak. Once in the protective halls of our secret passages beyond the castle's main routes, Sirius pulled me aside.

"You go on. Can I have the cloak?"

"Alright," I handed it over. "I think I steal some time in the bath."

"I don't know when I'll be back," Sirius wrapped the cloak around himself so only his head showed. "I'm going to knock Pomfrey out, then raid her recipes to find a proper healing potion for you.

"Padfoot," I gave him a half-hearted smile. "You didn't hurt me."

"Enough!" Sirius grumbled. "You've been far too stubborn for your own good. I've been trying to find a faster way to heal you since this started."

"Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever heal," I started up the old cracked stairs.

"You will. I'll make sure of it."

I headed straight for the large bath in Hogwarts, hoping Lily or Remus or any of those actually allowed there, weren't using it at the moment. The portrait glared at me but since I had the password, he had no choice but to let me in. Fortunately, it was empty. I filled the Olympic pool sized bath &amp; sat down on the raised bench all around the side. The mermaid in the stained glass picture, swished her hair over her shoulder &amp; jumped into the watery depths to get away from me. I was violating her space. Good! I needed to be the one doing the violating this time!

I raised my right arm straight up &amp; watched the tattoo of Prongs run around upto my fingers before plunging down to my shoulder. The lines were scarlet red right now since he had been freshly carved. I still couldn't believe I had done that! Closing my eyes, I sunk into the water, then allowed only my head above the surface as I lay back along the seat.

I don't know how long I lay there as if asleep, letting my mind go blank. Thirty minutes perhaps, or maybe an hour. I knew I wouldn't leave until either the water got freezing cold or Sirius showed up. I just wanted to stop feeling &amp; forget everything. I couldn't believe that I had sustained injuries from Orion's attack for this long. No wonder the Stag was bleeding.

Dying.

I had to fix him or else he would. Sirius might get his wish sooner than later. What would happen to me if my Spirit died without me personally destroying it with the anti-magus potion, I knew not what. Maybe I'd die with him. I didn't care too much about that. I half opened my eyes &amp; held my scarred wrist out of the water for a moment. I pushed back the leather strap to look at the scars. Running my fingers across those cuts, I remembered the pain of cutting them open. How really, it wasn't the physical pain that was the problem, but the release of everything inside me when I split them open. I remembered simply just lying down on the floor &amp; watching the blood drain out. I had imagined that everything vile &amp; unclean in me had oozed out along with the warmth of my passing life.

Now I knew. Not everything left me. I still had literal wounds inside me that still hurt. How the hell am I supposed to get rid of them? Would more cuts help? I pulled my wand out of the slot &amp; the underwater jets stopped. "Don't worry, Siri. I'm not killing myself." I made a third cut, though not as deep. Just a scratch. It would heal &amp; probably not even show within a day or so. I watched the blood drip out &amp; into the water. Prongs came up my arm, stopping at the scratch. I could see his petite nose sniffing at it. He skittered around my arm, then dashed away to my left calf &amp; stopped. I put my wand back into the slot &amp; the jets turned the water into a swirling warm froth. Ignoring the sting of soap on wound, I let my hands float out as I lay back in the water once more.

"James? What on Earth are you doing here?"

That wasn't Sirius &amp; I was lying naked but for a leather wrist band, an illegal Animagic tattoo &amp; for all the good they were worth, soap suds. My wand hand found my weapon even before I opened my eyes. Huh, wow. I don't think I've ever referred to my wand as a weapon before now. Must be all that Auror training. I sat straight &amp; looked up into the eyes of Lily Evans. Not her. Oh please not her now! She glared at me while I just looked up with apathy. I soon put my wand back in the slot &amp; lay back in the water again.

"No no no! You get out of here this instant! You hear me? This instant! You're not allowed here! How'd you even get in?" She pointed to the door.

I glared up at her. "What's this? The almighty Lily Evans missed a secret of mine? Come to steal that one away to, have you?"

"Mm what?"

"You know who &amp; what I am," I shot back. "Illegal Animagus. Werewolf guardian. Marauder. Those ought to be your first clues as to how I can get in here whenever I wish." As if on cue, that damn Stag appeared on my neck. I can feel wherever the tattoo moves. It wiggled its tail at her. "Why don't you stay a while? Sirius is on his way. You &amp; I both know how much you two love each other!"

I was turned away from her by now, but I could just feel those eyes boring holes into the back of my head. No matter. Here. I'll help. I let my horns come out part way. "Is that why you've been so vile to me all this year like a complete turn-around from before? You think I have something going on with Sirius &amp; you're jealous? What is the matter with you?"

I dunked my head underwater to hide the few silent tears that came out at the word 'vile'. I didn't mean to be that way with her. But I have no idea what to do with her anymore. Not since this dreadful year started. "No," I shook my head, smiling sweetly. "I know for a fact nothing's going on between you two. Sirius is in love with someone else." I allowed her to think of Remus perhaps, though I was referring to myself. Oh yeah! I knew my facts on this one! I need not have bothered hiding my tears for Lily was looking rather apprehensively at my horns. "Go on, give them a touch. The velvet's starting to grow since spring's coming."

"What?" She seemed to only just realised that deer horns were attached to a human head. Mine.

"Bucks grow velvet during the spring. They have to rub it off against trees." I leaned forward so she could reach them easily.

She gingerly touched one horn with just a finger. "This is really weird."

I laughed at her. "For me, it's the Spirit tattoo that's weird. Always running around &amp; since I'm illegal, I have to keep it hidden."

"Spirit tattoo? That thing running around your body?"

I slapped my arm, catching him on my left bicep. "See him?"

"It looks like ...Native Indian art."

"It is," I quickly mentioned Spirit Guides &amp; how they merge with an Animagus. My horns suddenly vanished.

"Does it hurt? When the horns come out?"

"Only the first time," I shrugged. "When the Merge happened."

With a sigh, she put the large white towel she had over one arm onto the side of the bath. "What you three did for Remus; it's indescribable. So many things could have gone wrong! You must really care for him."

"Not really, I'm more of a cat person," I snickered. "Don't worry. I say that to his face all the time." I turned away to discreetly check on my scratch. Oh she couldn't have come at a worse time. Yes I had been planning to scratch myself again. "I'm sorry if I haven't been very nice to you lately. I'm just having a lot of issues with stuff right now. It's not your fault."

"Maybe I can help?"

I laughed at that. "No one can help. Trust me."

"Surely things can't be that bad," Lily said. "I noticed you haven't been so horrible to Sev' either."

"I forgot about that little git," I muttered, not really intending for her to hear.

"Jim."

"Why do you still care? After what happened last year?"

"I—"

"Lily!" I turned back to look at her. "He has proven that he's no friend of yours."

"He used to be."

"Yeah well, he isn't any more."

"Just like you," She muttered under breath.

Now, I was infuriated with her. "Hey! I told you I've got some issues going on this year! I'll try being nicer to you. I've always ever tried to be nice to you. Yet all I got from you for five whole years was a hate as vile as Snivellus's. NOW! Of all years, you start caring about me? You're one to talk!"

"I never sa—"

I hit the water with my hand, like an angry whale slapping its tail. "I would never mistreat you even though you're less than my blood! You're just another girl to me. It doesn't matter. I'm perfectly fine sharing the school with muggleborns!"

"I know that!"

"Yet you never once gave me the time of day. Since we were eleven years old, Lily!"

"You were beating up my childhood friend all the time! I didn't think too highly of THAT! I'm not afraid of your royal blood flowing through your veins!"

"Royal! WOW!" I glared at her. Then I burst out laughing.

"I see nothing funny about this!"

"Oh you don't, do you?" I laughed harder. "Let me lay it on the line for you then. Whenever I like you, you hate me. Now that you're trying to like me, I apparently hadn't been too nice to you. Yet we still managed to have a fight. Right here. Me completely naked &amp; you nearly so. How did this happen?"

"Nak—?" Lily's eyes suddenly widened three times their size as she glanced over the water.

"Oh I suppose you want a look at my ROYAL gems now, do you?" I swept the soap suds away. "Feast your eyes!"

"_**GET OUT**__**!"**_

* * *

"_Oh merde!" _Harry was sobbing with laughter. How in the flying Phoenix did these two ever wind up together? "Note to self: do not treat women the way Dad does! EVER!"

* * *

"Are you sure you want me to just pop outta the water like a freakin' daisy?" I grinned evilly at her.

* * *

Harry clutched a stitch in his side.

* * *

"NOW!" Her voice was a high shriek similar to a whistling tea kettle. She pointed to the door again.

"FINE WOMAN! HAVE IT YOUR WAY!" I turned away for a moment &amp; gave myself a few quick strokes for effect, then I promptly stood up &amp; faced her. With a shake of my hips to wiggle my 'royal gems' which were nicely standing at attention, I said, "This is so not how I planned on you seeing me naked for the first time." (I'm quite sure I felt a soap sud slip down my erect length to plop off into the water. Oh yeah, baby!) She screamed so loud that I think my ears got raped with the sound.

* * *

There was a thud as Harry fell off his perch (he was in the Owlery avoiding Ron &amp; Hermione) &amp; a flurry of feathers. "How the hell did I ever get born?"

* * *

"Did I come at a bad time?" That was Sirius.

"YES!" Lily &amp; I both snarled at him as he awkwardly held up a goblet of something for me.

He turned to leave. "P-P-Put the goblet down!" I stammered in a rage, no longer concentrating on being horny &amp; no I'm not referring to my antlers either.

* * *

Shaking his head, Harry raised his eyes to the ceiling &amp; heaved a heavy sigh. He then buried his face in one hand. "Would you stop it with the double meanings already, Dad? For literally "tabarnac's" sake!"

* * *

I pointed at the counter. He did so, then wisely fled for his life. I stomped over &amp; downed the drink. Prongs shifted to my back to watch Lily.

"What's that drink?"

"Nothing. I'm not feeling well." I put the goblet down &amp; turned to her, Prongs shifting to my chest to keep an eye on her. "So, like what you see?" I gestured to my exposed body with one hand.

She suddenly remembered I was standing stark naked in front of her. With a squeal, she turned around. "You're despicable!"

"I'm a guy! Deal with it!" I stepped back into the water but didn't sit down yet.

"I thought I told you to leave!"

"I'm not finished my bath yet. Either leave or join me."

"Oh I'd bet you'd love that!"

No. I wouldn't have. Not now. "I don't care what you do."

"I'll go call a Professor."

"You do that!" I snapped. "That'll get me, Sirius &amp; Peter sent to Azkaban for a year once whoever you bring notices my Spirit tattoo! Then of course, get Remus slaughtered for being a Lycan. Go right ahead!"

"I would never—"

"Just like I would never put you down for not being pure!" I finally sunk back into the water &amp; ignored her.

"What's happened to you? You're not the James Potter I remember."

"You're right. I'm not. Satisfied?" We shared a reproachful look. She looked hazy to me since I didn't have my glasses but I was sure she was about to cry. "I'll never be the same. Never! Isn't that what you wanted Lily? Me to change into some fantasy guy of your dreams?"

"Not like this," Lily whispered.

I scoffed. "I wish you women would make up your minds. Most of the other girls liked me the way I was. You never did. Now I've changed as you say. Sorry to disappoint."

"All I ever wanted was for you to stop picking on a friend of mine," Lily said. "If we could have all gotten along maybe things would be different."

"Well they are different &amp; you're still not happy!"

"Ok, that's it. I'm leaving."

"Good."

"You keep driving people away like this!" Lily shot at me. "You'll end up alone &amp; it'll be your fault."

I heard her stomping for the door. I hated her! For the first time in my life, I hated her. This wasn't my fault at all! Then I said the words I regretted almost as much as what I had told Sirius over Christmas. "You try being raped by Orion Black! See how you like it!"

There was no answer. Maybe she was already gone &amp; didn't hear. I stared into the water for several minutes, then pulled out my wand from the slot again. I put it to my wrist to make another scratch since the first one had vanished when I drank that healing potion. (I'm not sure why, since the scratch just like my suicide scars, were done by magic. Perhaps it was because they weren't as deep.)

"That explains a lot."

God damn her! I dropped my wand into the water &amp; whirled around. "What?"

"James, please tell me you didn't just say what I think you said?" She was standing with one hand gripping her chest. Her eyes were closed. She looked about ready to faint.

"What did I just say?" I had honestly forgotten.

"Orion Black...raped you?"

I stared at her. I suddenly gasped for air after holding my breath for so long. My heart shattered. I've lost count of how many times that happened this year. I broke into tears again, another thing I've lost count of. "Damn you! Every last secret I have, you take from me!"

"Oh dear God! You're not lying," Lily went to her knees. "Remus complains to me how vile Sirius's father is. He wasn't kidding, was he?"

"He doesn't know!" I panicked. Now the whole school would know. "No one does. Only Sirius."

"Sirius?"

"He watched it happen."

"AND HE DIDN'T HELP?"

"He couldn't. Elven power."

"Oh," Lily slowly stood up.

"He's been taking care of me ever since."

"Yeah, you two have been spending a lot of time together," Lily nodded. "Remus &amp; Peter both mention that there's something different with both of you, but especially you. We thought it may have had to do with the fact that you &amp; Sirius are Auror trainees &amp; they aren't." She paused before adding in a lower voice. "Not this. I would have never guessed this."

I crossed my arms &amp; Prongs skipped to the back of my left hand. "I ask you again, what do you care? You've hated me for the first five years we've known each other. Let me guess, I'm just an arrogant Quidditch show-off that likes to bully people &amp; I got what I deserved. Is that it?"

"I know what you're doing."

"Oh uh huh &amp; what am I doing?"

"It's ok," She took her coat off. "I'd be lashing out wildly to if something like that happened to me."

"What are you doing?"

"I'll uh, I'll keep my lingerie on," Lily tossed her nightgown aside &amp; came into the water. She scooped up my drifting wand &amp; put it into the slot, then sat down. "It's ok Jim. Come here." I came over slowly but made sure that there was at least a foot between us when I finally sat down. She put a hand out but didn't touch me, expecting me to take it. I didn't. "No one deserves what he did to you. Not even you."

We stayed in that bath for almost half an hour. I never spoke to her. I was still in shock from what I had done.

I still can't believe I told Lily Evans about Orion Black hurting me. What is wrong with me?

She never touched me.

* * *

_(AN: Yeah ok..ripped off a bit of Brave &amp; Lion King there tehehe)_


	15. Chapter 15

**(15) Call To Arms**

I was curled up in one corner, with my head resting on the side. I was slowly falling asleep. Lily watched me but kept her distance. Why the hell did I tell her?

I heard someone else come in &amp; then the voice of my Grim. "So, you two didn't kill each other yet?" I opened my eyes to look up at him, but he was staring at Lily. "You know." He knelt down on the side by my head &amp; put a hand on my shoulder. "Come on Jim. Curfew's about to start." I noticed that Sirius was trying to not look directly at Lily, but he kept a wary eye in her direction.

No longer caring what Lily saw, I stood up &amp; put a hoof to the floor. By the time I was out of the bath, Prongs had appeared. Lily got out &amp; was just wrapping a towel around herself, when Sirius grabbed her. "Stay behind me."

"Why?"

"Because we can't control Prongs any more," Sirius kept himself between her &amp; me.

"Control? Sirius, he's just Jim."

"No, he isn't."

"Sirius," Lily began, trying to step around him.

Sirius pulled her back behind him. "You know nothing about Animagic, do you? These animals are Spirits! They used to be living people eons ago."

"Right. He mentioned that."

Sirius stepped towards me. "Just stay behind me."

I lowered my head. The man James Charlus Potter inside this body is fully aware of the creature's antics but he used to control it for his own fancies. Now, in Prongs form, the most I could do is watch &amp; concentrate hard until I righted the balance of power &amp; took control again.

"Easy," Sirius spread his hands, coming towards me. "Prongs. It's me. Please Jim. I know you're in there somewhere." Prongs huffed &amp; kept his head lowered as he stepped sideways away from him. He trumpeted softly. Sirius back-peddled fast &amp; hard into Lily, pinning her against the wall. "He's going wild. We're losing him, Lily. We're losing both of them."

"How?"

"What Orion Black did to James really hurt Swift Horn as well," Sirius said softly. "That Stag used to be a great Lakotan Chief about four thousand years ago. Animagic is the merging of a Spirit Guide &amp; your body to act as one complete being. But now, Prongs &amp; Jim have been severed by Orion. We're trying to heal them."

"If you don't?"

"The Spirit will die," Sirius slowly put his hand into his pocket. "I have no idea what'll happen to Jim." Sirius came after me again, holding up a slice of dried pineapple. He tore it in half &amp; tossed one piece on the floor in front of me.

Prongs picked it up &amp; nibbled it away. He flexed his head, the horns crashing against the sinks. That felt good. I allowed him to rub his horns again. They were itching.

"Whoa!" Sirius put his left hand up while holding out the rest of the pineapple. "Easy. Easy Prongs. Come." He shook the pineapple. Who cares? My horns itched! I swung sideways &amp; the right antler crashed into the mirror, shattering it. Sirius pulled out his wand. "Repairo!"

I turned around, bobbing my head up &amp; down, half wondering if this being was going to charge or find something to rub on. Prongs slipped on the wet surface near the bath &amp; fell into a sitting position with his hind legs crossed. With a loud bleat of pain, he submerged but for the horns &amp; I was left to deal with the itch of them &amp; the pain in my left hip. I tried to stand.

"Jim, you ok?"

"I'm getting him," I was almost standing. "OW!" My left ankle hurt. It was sprained. I hobbled over to the sinks &amp; leaned on them. My horns finally sunk into my head. "Oh! Ouch!" It wasn't just a sprained ankle. The muscles in the whole leg were pulled.

Sirius put a bath robe around me &amp; laid my clothes over one arm. "I wish you had done that before drinking your potion. Come here." He swung my left arm across his shoulders.

Lily quickly got dressed &amp; grabbed the empty goblet. "What are we going to do with him?"

"Common room," Sirius said, helping me to hobble along.

"Ow!" I yelped, trying to keep my leg straight. "Hooves &amp; wet surfaces! Ouch!"

"I got you," Sirius pulled me along as Lily followed. "We'll go behind that tapestry just past the Portrait. Then I'll just have to go back down &amp; get another potion for you to heal this."

"Merc—OW!"

"Thank me later," Sirius tugged me along the corridors as fast as possible.

"He needs to be taken to the hospital!"

"NO!" Sirius &amp; I both turned to look at her.

"OUCH!"

"Sorry," Sirius gently turned us back towards Gryffindor Tower. "Lily we can't. I have to take care of him."

"But—"

"No Lily!" I cut her off. "Ow! We'll explain lat—OUCH—er. Let's just get to the Portrait! Oh! Tabrenack!"

We waited for the staircases to shift. Sirius tossed the other half of the pineapple up &amp; caught it with his teeth, then turned to me. I took it from him with my own mouth. Our lips had barely brushed against each other. It was a slick way to kiss in front of Lily.

"Figured you ought to finish that off while we're waiting," Sirius said smoothly.

"I just hope my rack doesn't come out while we're out here," I glanced around, casual as ever. "I don't see anyone."

"We're all past curfew by now but the Map shows a clear route ahead," Sirius helped me onto the last staircase when it finally arrived.

We headed down the main corridor of the seventh floor until we came to a tapestry of two unicorns with a fair maid leading them on. Sirius cut it down with 'Diffindo' &amp; we all went through. (Lily only stared in surprise at the secret passage behind it for a moment before entering it.) The tapestry re-sewed itself seamlessly together as if it had never been cut. We limped onward until the passage emerged right beside the Portrait of the Fat Lady.

"I like it when the staircase is gone," I glanced around at the dark moonlit corridor. Sometimes the whole corridor shifted &amp; we got stuck at the top of a stair case that led right to the Grand Staircase, but this secret passage only ended by the Fat Lady when the long dark corridor was here.

"Wattlebird," Sirius spoke the password &amp; we stepped into the hall from behind the Portrait that led into the common room. On the left was the door to the reading room for older students, from Year 5 onward. On the right was another tapestry that led into a tiny room &amp; it was here that Sirius brought us. Not a moment too soon, for my horns came out of their own accord. He helped me to lie down on a large cushion on the floor. He laid my clothes nearby &amp; pulled out the Invisibility Cloak. He handed my glasses over &amp; I put them on, then took the empty goblet. "Lily, stay with him. I'm going to get a healing potion to loosen up that muscle."

The tapestry reformed once Sirius was gone &amp; I was once more stuck alone with Lily. She cast several protective charms at the entrance, then turned to me. "I've put a silencing charm &amp; a few others. No one can hear us if we talk &amp; there's an alarm that will let us know if someone's trying to cut in here."

"Thanks," I reached up &amp; rubbed my horns. "This shouldn't be happening. I'm just starting to velvet out. The itch usually happens during spring break."

Lily stared at me for a long moment while I rubbed. "You're so messed up," She managed to say with a cracked voice.

"Honey, you ain't seen nothing yet!" I tossed my head, forcing my horns down. The thrust worked, but it also sent tremors down my leg. "OUCH!" I put my hand under the bath robe to gently rub the tingling pain away.

"Is there anything I can do?" Lily came to kneel beside me.

I pushed back the robe enough to expose the leg. After a long hard glare at her, I said. "You can touch. It's in the back. Down to the ankle. It's really tight." She put her hands on my leg &amp; began to massage it. Ok, Lily is touching me! This was so not how I imagined anything with her. I hated Orion ever more. "Don't go to high," I said without thinking.

She pulled her hands off my leg &amp; met my eyes with her own. "I would never do that to you."

I lay over the cushion, looking away from her. I felt her hands working my leg again. "This wasn't how things were supposed to be."

Lily worked on stretching out the muscle in my calf. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Ok," She moved down towards my ankle. "Will you at least tell me why you're not going to the hospital wing?"

"OUCH!"

"Sorry."

"Not your fault," I muttered. "Nothing about this past year is your fault. Like I said, I have other issues to deal with."

"Yeah," Lily moved back to my calf. "You sure do."

"I've been in pain all year," I went on. "Sirius is helping me. No one else knows &amp; I really really hate myself for telling you."

"Jim I won't spread it around," Lily said. "Not even Remus &amp; Peter. Don't worry."

That wasn't why I didn't want her to know. She had been the love of my life. But Orion had destroyed everything. Just looking at her hurt me now. "That's why I can't go to the hospital wing, Lily. I still have physical wounds, inside me, from what Orion did to me." I heard her gasp. "It still hurts. If Pomfrey inspects me, she'll know. I don't want that. Sirius is a good potions maker. He's gotten me this far. He'll help through to the end."

"Jim, I'm so sorry!" Lily had started crying. "If I can ever help you to, just ask."

"Now do you believe me, when I said I actually didn't want you in the bath with me?" I shot back at her, wondering why I was mad at her. "Or why I was always annoyed being paired up with you? Or why it's so hard to let you touch me now? Those were all dreams I had of you, hoping some day you'd like me. Now, every time I look at you, I'm reminded of what I lost."

We ended up looking at each other for a long moment. I swear to Merlin if it weren't for her shock, my rage &amp; the fact I was currently, though secretly, with Sirius, I think we may have kissed right then &amp; there. Prongs actually made me curl my lip &amp; huff at her.

"Jim, your eyes. They're different."

I looked away from her again. "It's the Stag sizing you up. He's just curious right now, don't worry. By the way, you &amp; I need to have a little talk. You not only heard something you shouldn't have, I think you saw something you shouldn't have either." I forced myself onto my right side &amp; propped myself up against the wall. Pushing back the sleeves of the bath robe I held up my hands. "What do you see?"

"The friendship leather band Sirius made for all you boys."

"That's a cover up," I pushed back the band. "See those two scars?"

Lily nodded. We stared at each other for another long silence. Then realisation swept over her face. "Oh Jim. Oh no. You didn't!"

"I did. Well, I mean, tried."

Lily gasped, putting both hands to her face. "James! No! Don't do that again!"

"Like I said, honey, you ain't seen nothing yet," I rubbed the place where the scratch had been with a finger. It had healed instantly with that first healing potion I had. But Lily had seen me put a knife-bladed wand to my wrist.

"That time several months ago, when Sirius hexed you," Lily went on. "Oh wow! He covered it up! That was when ...oh God! James!"

"I don't think there's any more secrets of mine you don't know," I said. "Is there nothing sacred now?"

"James!"

"As for this," I laid my un-charmed wand along my cut wrist as before. "It wasn't another suicide attempt. I just wanted to draw a little blood. A scratch. I know you saw me with my wand about to cut. Sirius doesn't know &amp; I don't want him or anyone else to know."

"You have to stop doing it."

"It won't kill me," I began, lowering my hands.

"It's still bad," Lily said. "What if you miscalculate &amp; you do cut deep enough to kill?"

"So what?" I shrugged. "I'm not fussed about it."

"But James!"

"No buts about it!" I snapped. "A scratch won't kill me. I'll be careful. But they'll still help me release some pain. Everyone's happy."

She turned her face away. "Except you."

"Oh don't worry about me."

"You have to stop," Lily said.

"No I don't!"

"Jim, hold on! We'll bring you back. Somehow." She stood up as a yellow light began flashing. "It's Sirius trying to cut in."

"Don't you dare tell him!"

"I won't," Lily released the block &amp; let my Grim in.

Sirius knelt before me &amp; handed over another goblet. "It's to relieve tense muscles &amp; a pain killer to."

"Hmm physical or emotional?" I took a sip. It didn't taste much so I began downing it in one shot.

Sirius said to Lily, "Rough night."

"I've had worse," I put the empty goblet aside, then proceeded to rub down my leg again. I could feel it relaxing &amp; slowly but surely, it stopped hurting. "I swear that Stag will be the death of me. Walking around on a wet floor. What was he thinking?" I was trying to make light of the situation, but Sirius was glaring at me (I just know he has anti-magus potion in the back of his mind) &amp; Lily looked ready to cry again. Well I neither needed or wanted a lecture or pity, so I gingerly stood up. "I think we should all go to bed. Let my leg work itself out."

"It should be fine in the morning," Lily said. "Jim, if there's anything... I...goodnight."

"Goodnight," I watched her duck under the tapestry. She was gone, probably out of my life for good.

"How much did you tell her?" Sirius asked the moment we were alone.

I was grateful he didn't mention the anti-magus potion. I had been expecting that. "I didn't mean to tell her. She had started on how things were my fault. She didn't know. I just blurted out that Orion Black raped me." I closed my eyes, feeling tired. Prongs huffed through me. "I only told her that you're the only other one who knows &amp; you help me. Potions &amp; whatnot. Oh &amp; she knows about this." I exposed my scars for a moment.

"Ok, well, that's out of the way then," Sirius put his arms around my neck &amp; kissed me. He moved one hand to my chest inside the V-line of the bath robe. "Remember I told you I would ask a hard thing of you a while ago?"

"Yeah?"

"I wanted you to tell Lily eventually."

"What? Why?"

"Especially if you two ever got together," Sirius went on. "It would be better if you had told her. So you did, bit earlier than I thought it should be but at least it's over with."

"Sirius, I never wanted to tell anyone. Ever!"

"If she ever becomes your girlfriend, or even wife, she should know."

"But she isn't right now!"

"Hence why I said 'bit earlier than I thought' doofus!"

"Let's just go to bed," I grumbled.

"I'm 'up' for that," Sirius teased. (See where I get it from? Idiot!) I rolled my eyes &amp; tried to limp by. I almost made it, but then I felt his hand take my own. I was pulled back. He held me close to him (I could feel that he was indeed up for it) &amp; kissed me again. "Oh Jim," He sighed into my shoulder. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine," I felt him push aside the bath robe a bit so he could touch my skin. In truth, I was detached. Ever since deciding murder, I felt nothing but a purpose to kill the monster that had wrecked both me &amp; my Spirit. I found myself dwelling on thoughts of murder. It was all I could think about.

* * *

"Oh Dad! Please say you didn't do it," Harry put it aside. He rubbed his eyes with one hand &amp; felt a wetness. "Please, change your mind later."

He found Hedwig &amp; petted her in silence for a long time.

Was he the son of a murderer? Did Sirius help? Had they sunk so far into a life of bloody crime that it got his mother killed &amp; nearly killed him as well?

Again, was Sirius Black ...innocent? Well of killing James &amp; Lily anyway. Perhaps he &amp; his father had planned something but it had gone wrong.

That nagging innocent thought kept teasing Harry in the back of his mind. But it was ridiculous. There were several eye-witnesses to the blast in the street that had killed twelve muggles &amp; Peter.

"Dad, are you a killer to?"

Harry hated Orion Black like no one else, not even Sirius. He admitted to being happy the man was dead. "What if someone ever forced me? Would I want their blood? Would I kill?" Harry couldn't imagine killing anyone any more. He had tried with Sirius Black, or so he made himself believe but what were the first spells he had shot into the air when he had actually gone to confront Black? Nothing that killed. "I don't know any killing spells," Harry told himself. "That's all it is."

Sirius Black deserves death for what he did not only to James &amp; Lily but also Remus.

The werewolf himself had said that.

"ARGH!" Harry's scream scared off Hedwig &amp; her owlfolk. Delving into the disturbed mind of James Potter was starting to affect him. It brought up more questions than answers. He had always wanted to learn about his parents. "Be careful what you wish for!"

He snatched up the pages again. "Let's get this over with!"

* * *

He held me in silence for a while, gently nipping at the top of my shoulder. I soon remembered what we had nearly done just a few hours before &amp; how it was all ripped away. Again! "I hate your father, Padfoot."

"I know," he sighed. "So do I." In a rare bold move, I moved on him, quickly kissing him. He returned the gesture, though he lasted longer.

"What was in that first potion you gave me?" I suddenly asked, silently wondering why my first scratch disappeared so easily.

"Oh I gave you the best pain-killer &amp; healing potions mixed together," Sirius explained. "Same as this second one. The birthing one."

Yeah. Ok. I have absolutely no comment on that one. (It's the potion they give to women to help ease pain &amp; heal while giving birth. Very powerful stuff…full of estrogen to. I really don't like Sirius!)

* * *

Harry put the journal down &amp; walked away to the nearest wall. He promptly banged his forehead against it once or twice, then slid to the ground, laughing hysterically.

* * *

He snickered at me, then helped me up the stairs to bed. Peter &amp; Remus were both already passed out due to the drug we had given them. (Swear to Merlin, if I wake up lactating!)

Sirius was soon asleep but I didn't fall asleep until the room was tinged with the first rays of sun. I was too out of sorts. I told Lily! Damn it! How could I let that happen? I decided to Obliviate her next time I caught her alone, or get Sirius to. I was still reliving the pain of being carved up like a living Totem pole. The only thing that brought me any comfort was thinking about what I had nearly let Sirius to do me after. I'd never been more turned on as in those moments with him (&amp; I've had some pretty good hard moments before last summer but they paled now compared to a few hours ago).

But, oh yeah. Nearly! We never did get very far. I never did feel my well-deserved release &amp; I'm no longer in the mood anyway.

Ok, so. Lily saw me naked. That's a good thought. Right? Not the way I planned at all.

Officially the worst night of my life, which very nearly could have been my best.

When I finally found them, my dreams were filled with every possible way I could hurt &amp; kill Orion. I woke up even more out of sorts than before. My leg was fine. (It had better be after not one but two shots of that stupid potion. Oh &amp; no, fortunately for Sirius, I am not lactating. Yet!) I was last out of bed &amp; finding myself alone, I redid the first scratch &amp; made the second one I had planned to do since last night. I waited for the blood to dry before getting dressed &amp; going down to the common room where I was cornered by Remus &amp; shoved into the nearest chair.

"Alright, which one of you blockheads put sleeping draught in our drinks?" Remus demanded as Peter stood behind him, arms crossed &amp; glaring.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I muttered. "It's Sirius." I pointed.

"Was not!" Sirius looked aghast.

"I know we were drugged last night," Peter added. "We both felt way too tired, too early, too fast."

"I didn't even finish my drink," Remus added. "I checked the rest of my butterbeer this morning. It's drugged. The two of you weren't around last night either. If this is Auror business, you're doing it wrong. Even I know that!"

I noticed Lily come off the stairs &amp; pointedly looked in the opposite direction. "Well it isn't Auror business. That much I know."

"Then what?" Remus demanded. "What on Earth are you two doing without us?"

"What's going on?" Lily asked. Remus explained it to her, then they both cast glances at me, then Sirius.

"Jim was in the bath," Lily said. "So it can't have been him."

I had been in the bath several hours after drugging these two but I was grateful for that input. "Like I said," I pointed. "Sirius!"

Remus &amp; Peter rounded on him. Good, focus is off me. Sort of. Lily was still casting odd looks at me but I tried ignoring her as best possible. "Alright I admit it," Sirius caved. "We just didn't want you two following us, only to try on stop us."

"Stop what?" Remus asked in a sickly sweet voice. He wasn't happy. He has PMS like a woman. (Pre Moon Syndrome…what? Sirius 'came up' with that one!)

* * *

"Ohh gimme a break!" Harry groaned. "And no Kit Kats please. Not my thing!"

* * *

"Sirius!" I was horrified. We never agreed to tell them.

"Aww if you two wandered off for sex, either with each other or women," Remus continued in his sweet little voice.

"Maybe," Sirius laughed. One of these days I WILL murder that man! (Not even talking about Orion right now!)

Remus leaned over Sirius &amp; actually licked his nose like a puppy greeting his master. "Sirius, what are you ...up...to?" He winked with the word up.

* * *

"Seriously, Professor?" Harry's left eye twitched.

* * *

"You'll just get mad if we tell you," Sirius finally said something wise.

"No I wouldn't," Remus patted Sirius's free hand (the other was scratching the head of Philip, Frank Longbottom's platypus that he rescued from dingoes as a puggle about six years ago, then promptly smuggled out of Australia. Philip's been Gryffindor's favourite thing ever since.).

* * *

"Ohh a platypus?" Harry stared at the word. There had been a platypus in the Gryffindor common room? Cool!

* * *

"Oh so, you're perfectly ok with us speaking to our Spirits then?"

Remus blinked. I wanted to hex Philip so his spurs would stick out &amp; sting Sirius. "What do you mean 'speaking to our Spirits'?"

"See? You're getting mad," Sirius stuck a finger into the bill for Philip to hold.

"Did you do a Tribal Summons last night?" Remus snarled &amp; his eyes dangerously flickered to gold. Uh oh. Well done, Sirius! Fortunately, it was still early &amp; the weekend so most people were still sleeping in.

"Did I say that?" Sirius smiled. Remus growled. "Don't do that."

"Give me one good reason not to," Remus snarled anyway.

"What's a Tribal Summons?" Lily asked.

Still glaring gold at Sirius, Remus said. "It's an Animagic ritual to separate your Spirit from your body &amp; speak to it. It involves blood sacrifice &amp; if refused, your very life. Tabrenack! You IDIOTS!" (I've really got to learn how to spell in French, but right now, Remus is in no mood to give us writing lessons.)

"We lived," Sirius smiled. "We're fine!"

"I should have known you'd do something like this, Padfoot!" Remus huffed at him. "Since your Spirit is a woman! Oh you stupid idiot!" Sirius just laughed. I relaxed. Remus thought it was Sirius who had done the summons &amp; that was fine by me. Remus turned away to let out a long-suffering growl. Sirius winked at me.

Sirius pulled his finger out of Philip's bill &amp; stretched. "Well, I'm hungry. See you at breakfast." With that, he got up &amp; trotted to the Portrait.

I unfortunately watched him go so I didn't notice Remus sneaking up on me. "AND YOU!" Remus smacked me over the head.

"OUCH!"

"You went &amp; helped him?" Remus made to smack me again but I dived past him &amp; grabbed Philip to use as a cover. "Carving him up like a lamb to slaughter. What is wrong with you? Come here! Peter? Where's my wand? James Charlus Prongs Potter, don't you get away from me! Peter! Wand! NOW! For Pete's sake!" His mouth twitched in spite of himself at the joke.

"I have no idea where it is," Peter smiled sweetly. Remus growled again.

"Watch it moon mutt!" I brandished Philip like a sword. "I have a male platypus &amp; I'm not afraid to use it!" Philip grunted indignantly at being taken for a weapon. I put a finger on the protective booties covering his hind spurs full of mind-numbing painful venom for which there was no cure.

"I'll turn you into a female platypus to be his wife if I can ever find my bloody wand!"

"I'd suggest looking in your pants!" I shot back.

* * *

"Oh wow!" Harry howled with laughter.

* * *

"What do you mean, carve up?" Lily asked before we could hex or sting each other. The moment both Remus &amp; Peter turned to explain, I took the platypus &amp; ran for it!

I handed Philip over to Frank, then sat down beside Sirius. I felt his hand swipe quickly up between my legs before he put both hands on the table. "You ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine, Sirius!" I grumbled. "I didn't think we'd tell him about the Summons."

"Neither did I," Sirius admitted. "But you have to admit, Remus is like Sherlock Holmes. He'd have figured it out eventually so I might as well get him off the trail &amp; make him think it was me."

"Thanks," I said after a moment. "By the way, have you ever found the Sherlock Holmes Wizard Card?"

* * *

"Hang on, I thought Holmes was a myth?" Harry re-read that line.

* * *

"There's only one in existence you know," Sirius reminded me. "I'll never even see it in my life."

I felt a patting on my shoulder &amp; then Remus plopped down beside me. "Last I heard, its way down under the Ministry Of Magic, in the Department of Mysteries. I'd like to at least see it. Supposedly, it's made out of star gold."

"Star gold?" I asked.

"Honestly, am I the only one who pays attention in Astronomy?"

"Yes!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "When some types of stars die, they actually leave a clump of gold at their center. It's of the purest gold in the universe."

"You're totally making that up!" Sirius &amp; I exclaimed.

"Nope," He smiled at us. "Papa says so."

"He works with ghosts &amp; poltergeists," I pointed out. "Not gold."

"All I know is what he told me," Remus stuck his tongue out at us before turning to his plate.

* * *

Being an avid collector of Wizard Cards, Harry's eyes went wide with desire. "Ok Lupin. You're going down, moon mutt. DOWN!"

* * *

"Oh! Mail's here!" Peter exclaimed as he had just shown up. He sat down as the owls came in.

Peter's Great Horned owl was among them. Stryker would bring him the Daily Prophet. But the arrival of Nightstalker, Remus's black Firefall owl, was a surprise. Peeps, my parent's barn owl also showed up, though I was sort of expecting it.

I took the brown envelope with shaking hands. Sirius, Peter &amp; Remus all put their letters &amp; Prophet aside to wait. We had been expecting news about my father for a while. "Do you want me to open it?" Sirius asked when I still hadn't opened it after several minutes. I silently handed it over. He read through it. "Oh! It's nothing bad, Jim." I wasn't the only one letting out an audible sigh of relief. "It's for both of us really. They're coming here sometime next week."

"Both of them?" I asked in surprise.

"Yeah," he handed the letter back.

"Ok," I scanned through the very short note. "Weird. What's yours, Moony?"

Remus started, as if he had quite forgotten Nightstalker was still there. He picked up his letter. We had learned from first year not to bother leaning in to read with him as every letter he got was from his parents &amp; were in French. He soon laid it down flat in front of him &amp; I saw only two lines. It was about as long as mine was. "They're both coming here to."

"What?" Sirius &amp; I asked. That was weird.

"Maybe your father wants to have another go at Peeves," I offered &amp; we all snickered. John Lyall Lupin had taught Defence Against The Dark Arts during our fourth year.

* * *

Harry stared. Two Lupin Professors?

* * *

He had been really good to. It's unbelievable how that position changes every single year. We had all hoped Mr. Lupin would stay for more than one year, but as it was, he had only come to check on the ghosts &amp; poltergeist here. He was summoned to Egypt that next summer to help remove some particularly violent Mummyfiers, very vile pyramid spirits.

We had little choice but to wait for our family reunions. I was at first excited to have not only my parents here but also meet up with Remus's again, but then it turned to horror as we headed towards the Entrance doors to go outside.

"Sirius!"

We all turned around to see Regulus, the younger brother of Sirius. He was one year behind us, but in Slytherin. "What do you want?" Sirius muttered.

"Dad's coming next week. Be ready." He stomped off.

"Whatever," Remus shrugged, walking ahead with Peter.

Sirius &amp; I just stared at each other. I was rooted to the spot with terror. Not now! Please. With a quick movement, Sirius wrenched my Invisibility cloak out from under my school cloak &amp; threw it over both of us. He was just in time as Remus had turned back to call after us. Peter soon pulled our werewolf outside. Though other students were heading in all directions, Sirius &amp; I were alone under my cloak. He pulled me close &amp; kissed me, deep &amp; long. We stood like that for several minutes, barely breaking apart for air before continuing.

I felt as if the iceberg that had sunk Titanic was now firmly lodged in my stomach. I was shivering with cold fear. Sirius held me tightly. After at least ten minutes of trying to lose myself in his mouth, I suddenly pulled away from him. "I can't do this. I can't!"

"Ok."

"Not you!" I felt tears fall. Will I ever run out? "Him! I can't face him right now! I thought I could, but I can't."

"Come with me," He took my hand &amp; led me to one of our passages. We took the cloak off so it was easier to move &amp; then set off at a brisk trot up long forgotten stairs &amp; dusty corridors over-run with spiders. We finally came back into the main castle by the seventh floor. He was bringing me to that hidden room that the Map never shows. We entered &amp; I saw a cozy fire-lit room with a mattress on the floor. We lay down on it side by side.

I pressed both hands to my stomach, trying to get rid of that iceberg. "I'm so scared, Padfoot! It's amazing I got put in Gryffindor."

"Hey, most people would crack under the stress you've been through this year," Sirius put an arm around me.

"You don't think I'm cracked?" I gasped in one breath.

"You've managed to keep this hidden from almost everyone," Sirius said. "And our affair &amp; do the school work &amp; Auror training &amp; the full moons &amp; now a Tribal Summons. Not to mention," He moved close to my ear to whisper. "Get the girl of your dreams to see you naked."

"UGH!" I groaned. 'Don't remind me! That so didn't happen how I planned."

"Mm but it did happen."

"Oh shut it you."

He pressed a hand on my chest, moving back &amp; forth between the pecks &amp; over the breastbone. "Jim, I don't think he'll attack you at the school. Stay in public places. Don't go anywhere alone. Stay next to your parents. I'll be right beside you but I was bloody useless the last time."

"That's not your fault." My entire body suddenly twitched from a massive shiver running through me. I pushed my messy fringe off my hot, damp brow. I had broken out in cold sweats. "I don't think I can do this."

"We have a weapon, Prongs."

"We do?"

"Lily."

I took a moment to let that one sink. "What do you mean, she's a weapon?"

"Orion only knows that you &amp; I know," Sirius started.

I was slowly catching on. "But not Lily."

"Exactly," Sirius agreed. "She can watch him &amp; he won't know to look out for her."

I'm officially in love with Lily again &amp; it didn't affect my love for Sirius at all! Two-Spirit indeed. We stayed there for several hours. Sirius had piled blankets over me as I continued to shake with cold. My teeth chattered too much to talk. He cast several warming charms over me &amp; the blankets, then lay down on top of them &amp; held me close while I fell into a fretful sleep.

The next few days were complete hell for me. As none of us knew exactly which day everyone arrived, I found myself constantly checking over my shoulder. I also had to duck into lost passage ways or dark corners every so often as Prongs was panicking as much as I was. I was seriously considering the anti-magus potion but on the other hand, what if I was stuck alone with that monster? I could use Prongs against him then. I made several scratches on both my wrists during that time.

Sirius &amp; I cornered Lily &amp; explained the situation. She was a great help in hiding my Animagical outbursts. She was determined to keep Orion Black from me.

On Thursday, we had our answer at last. At the end of Transfigurations, McGonagall dismissed the class in a very strange new way. She opened up a roll of parchment. "Would the following students please remain behind as I call out your names? The rest of you will be dismissed shortly. Black, Sirius. Evans, Lily. Jay, Alice."

"Oh my God!" I stood up. "She's calling out the Aurors." At that, all us trainee Aurors stood up.

"Well, er, yes," McGonagall fiddled with her glasses while lowering her half-read scroll. "Obviously, I suppose. Everyone else dismissed."

There was a flurry of papers &amp; robes as the non-Aurors got ready to leave. I grabbed Sirius's hand for a moment right in public. "I knew something was wrong! I knew it." I let his hand go as Remus &amp; Peter both gave us a long look before exiting last. Once gone, a few students of the other Houses who were also training to be Aurors were shunted inside to join Gryffindor &amp; Ravenclaw. (There was only one Slytherin boy but several Hufflepuff students as well.) Then the doors closed &amp; two Aurors took up guard positions on either side. My father was on the left. I ran up to him.

"Jimmy Boy," My Dad hugged me &amp; it was all I could do not to squirm. I liked being called Jimmy Boy about as much as Remus liked being called R.J. &amp; all that was about as much as any of us liked facing the Lunar wrath every month. Grr! Plus, I'm nearly 17 years old. I'm too old for parenting hugs! Gimme a break!

After a polite time had passed, I pulled away. "What's going on?"

"You're mother will explain," He pointed to the front of the room. "Hi Sirius."

I put a hand on Sirius's shoulder. "He should be here," I whispered low so Dad couldn't here. "He would be. Somewhere."

Sirius pulled me back to our desks. "Stay in sight."

Lily was at the front. I glanced around wildly for Orion Black but couldn't see him. But perhaps this was a closed meeting for Aurors only. Orion Black might not be in this room, but he was most certainly in the castle. I hated not knowing where he was. I found Sirius's hand &amp; dug my nails into his palm as my mother took over McGonagall's position.

"It is my unfortunate duty to announce that as of today, those here are considered adults allowed to do magic at any time." There was a murmur through the crowd &amp; Mum had to wait a moment before going on. She pointed with her wand to a stack of packages on the side. "In those, each of you willing to stay will find a full Auror's uniform for themselves, but before collecting them I must tell you now to think about what you're doing. You have been cramming your last two years into this year. If you wish to stay in Auror training, none of you need come back next year."

"No, what about Moony?" I gasped softly to Sirius.

"We'll come back for him."

"Those of you who are still deciding or no longer wish to be Aurors, may leave now. Bear in mind, that if you walk out now, you will not become an Auror &amp; your schooling will go back to normal." She hesitated a moment, waiting but no one moved. "As of 4.38 P.M. yesterday, the Wizarding World ... has declared ...war against Lord Voldemort!"

Wild chatter followed that proclamation. I think I actually passed out on my feet for two seconds. My hands were on my face &amp; I have no memory of putting them there.

* * *

The son of Prongs was in a similar predicament.

* * *

Sirius gripped my arm. "I know why he's here. Jim, it isn't for you."

Like that helped. We're at war!

* * *

_(AN:_ _Ok well, I hope that clears up the mess between book vs. movie of where the Fat Lady's Portrait is. I'm among the few that were NOT bothered by it as Hogwarts is a machine (bit like Figaro Castle in Final Fantasy 6 lol) that seems to move around ... so ... hope that helps! :P_

_Wow this turned out to be a long chapter. Oh Philip, Stryker, Peeps &amp; Nightstalker (as is Paris the unicorn coming up) are crossovers from another Harry Potter fic I'm working on, my Legacy series (the Marauder's 7 years), which will be posted soon. There will be more info on the Firefall breed but basically, they're similar to a Snowy, bit larger, pure black with red outlining the feathers…dark brown with red for females. Immune to fire, they live in chimneys especially if a fire is burning &amp; make nests out of the embers, which can be a bit of a nuisance lol.)_


	16. Chapter 16

_(In honor of the Jewish Holocaustic Remembrance Day that has recently passed.)_

* * *

**(16) A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words**

When next he found some free time, Harry located Lupin on the Map &amp; went after him. He wanted to know more about this mysterious Sherlock Holmes card. Lupin was outside on the lawns on the way to Hagrid's Hut. Harry sent Ron &amp; Hermione ahead as they were trying to help Hagrid save Buckbeak, his prized but condemned Hippogriff &amp; turned aside off the main path to find Lupin.

The werewolf was standing close to the Whomping Willow, staring at it, lost in thought. Harry hesitated as he saw his Professor put a hand to his face, wiping something away. Not wanting to intrude, Harry turned away to go see Hagrid first.

"Harry, where are you off to?"

Harry barely glanced over his shoulder, pretending not to have noticed Lupin. "Hagrid's."

Lupin trotted up to Harry's side. "I'm a wolf, Harry. I heard you coming."

"Well yeah," Harry wondered how to get out of this one. "I'm cutting through to see Hagrid."

"The tree has so many memories," Lupin went on. "I know you were watching me. What do you want?"

Harry gave up. "Well really, did you ever, uh, collect Famous Witches &amp; Wizards Cards?"

"Still do," Lupin laughed.

"Oh, uh, well," Harry passed a hand through his hair. "I was wondering, do you have the Sherlock Holmes card?"

Lupin growled &amp; his eyes flashed amber. "How the hell do you know about that card? Hanging out with Black again? 150 points from Gryf—"

"NO! Wizard pictures can talk!" Harry cut in. Lupin raised a brow. "It's true! I heard it from Dad in my family photo album."

The werewolf pressed both hands to his brow. "Keep the points."

"Thanks," Harry gulped before going on. "So, did you ever see it? Or have it?"

"It isn't real."

"Oh," Harry blinked. "But Dad said it's made of star gold."

Lupin burst out laughing. "Oh those idiots," He continued to laugh for a long time. "Star gold! I swear all three of them were blond in a previous life." He doubled over laughing. When he finally stood straight again, Harry could see that the laughter had turned to crying. "Oh I never did get to tell any of them," Lupin sighed before going on. When he was composed, he explained, "My mother came up with the idea during our fourth year &amp; told Papa &amp; me. We led Jim &amp; Peter ...&amp; Black...on for years about that stupid card. It's totally made up, but it got three purebloods to read some muggle novels, all to find out more about the card of Sherlock Holmes."

"Oh," Harry started laughing. "That is so mean!"

"I know right?" Lupin was laughing once more. When the pair of them finally settled, Lupin began, "Um Harry?" He hesitated &amp; looked away to the Willow. "Could I uh..." Looking back at Harry, he finished. "Never mind."

"What?"

"Oh, it's, uh, it's yours," Lupin shook his head. "Forget it."

"You want to borrow my photo album?" Harry asked. Lupin didn't meet his eyes, but he nodded quickly. "Sure, I'll bring it to your next class."

"Really?"

"Yeah, no problem," Harry would have time to warn every single picture of his father in there about covering Harry for the Holmes card.

"_Mm! Merci!_" He turned to leave. "Oh uh, French for thank you by the way. Sorry, I tend to switch languages at times."

The next day, the Defence Against The Dark Arts was the last class before lunch. Harry put the photo album on Lupin's desk &amp; while the class was set to a written exam, Harry noticed the werewolf looking at it. Literally looking at it. He didn't open the album but seemed to be deciding on whether or not he should go through with it. Near the end of class, he finally opened it to the first page.

When they were dismissed for lunch a few minutes later, Harry was torn between going with Ron &amp; Hermione or staying with the werewolf. He was spared having to come up with a decision by Lupin asking him to remain behind.

"I've noticed you're not with your two friends lately," Lupin got right to the point as he turned another page in the album. "Something wrong?"

Harry had quite forgotten about his two friends fighting over their pets. He had been using most of his spare time to do homework, practice Quidditch, comfort Hagrid, learn the Patronus, curse Black &amp; most of all, get through his father's writings. Why had James left that thing out? "No, just busy. Quidditch &amp; homework. Though I would like to get that new broom back!"

"I know," said Lupin. "By the way, I do have an actual Card to show you." He pulled one out of his pocket &amp; handed it over to Harry. "It is extremely rare. Only two of them."

It was a picture of an officer dressed in a Nazi uniform. Not understanding what he was seeing, Harry blinked like an owl. On closer inspection, a Star Of David would flash across it at an angle. "What the bloody hell are our Famous Cards doing supporting the Nazi Regime?!" Harry demanded. "Professor, this guy's a Nazi!" He stared at Lupin as if the wolf was crazy.

"Not all of them were bad," said Lupin. "He is actually the only one buried in Jerusalem, in a Jewish cemetery. He saved nearly 1,200 lives. He was a Half-blood. Bribed his way through the Holocaust trying to get the Jewish folk into his camp. He used everything from his own savings to Leprechaun's gold. Whatever worked." He pulled it out of Harry's hand. "You can get your own. This one's mine. Good luck finding the other one. I had to hustle &amp; bribe a lot myself to get this one." He tucked it securely away into his inner-most pocket.

Harry realised he was still gaping in disbelief. "I just never expected ... Nazis."

Lupin burst out laughing. "He was very unexpected. Wait until you're a bit older, but there is actually a movie recently out about his story. Very accurate one at that to. Schindler's List."

"Why wait?"

"Well Harry, what do you know of the Holocaust?"

"Quite a bit," Harry said. "I've seen a picture or two."

"The movie is a bit ...accurate," Lupin repeated. "Wait until you're 18 or so at least."

"Fine," Harry nodded as Lupin turned the photo album &amp; began flipping through pages. He was still wrapping his around the fact that the Wizarding World—not to mention the Jews it seemed—supported Nazis. Some Nazis anyway. A single Nazi. Right? He learned enough about the Holocaust in his muggle school to know some of the horrors that had gone on then, but never this!

Harry was brought out of his confused thoughts as Lupin made a noise in his throat that was a cross between a growl &amp; a puppy's cry &amp; quickly turned the page again. He looked straight up across the room. "I'm actually the camera man behind a lot of these. I forgot he's in half of them."

Harry didn't need to ask who 'he' was. "You're the one with the camera? So were you at—at their—wedding then?"

"Oh yeah," Lupin huffed as if trying to force aside some emotion he'd rather not feel.

"He was their best man," Harry said. Lupin grunted derisively. "I didn't notice him in any of the other pictures."

"He's there," Lupin said. "They all are." He suddenly laid the album flat open to the wedding picture.

"Moony is that you?" Harry heard his father's voice.

"Yeah," Lupin said.

"What year is it?" James asked. "You look a bit older."

"1994."

"Wow!" Lily said. "I knew a long time has past. I mean Harry's so grown up now."

"Hey," James looked around as the picture stared up to the ceiling. "Isn't this the Defence Against The Dark Arts classroom in Hogwarts?"

"Yeah, I'm teaching here right now."

There was a snapping of fingers. "Pay up you lot," Sirius's voice sounded through the photograph. "I knew he'd end up doing that! 100 Galleons. Each."

"Padfoot, drop dead," James complained. "We are a photograph. I'm sure my real life version paid up."

"Heh, if only," Lupin muttered under breath.

Harry came to stand by Lupin to look at the photograph. Sirius had come to the forefront &amp; leaned against the bottom frame. "Be sure to drain the Slytherin hourglass any chance you get, Moonlove."

Harry tried really hard not to roll his eyes. Lupin just laughed. "Unlike some people, I'm not that much of a bully."

"What's that supposed to mean?" James asked. Lily smacked him over the head. Then for the first time, Harry saw a fourth figure enter the picture from the side. He was shorter than James, Lily &amp; Sirius &amp; a bit plump.

"There you are," Remus said. "I knew you were there since I'm the one who did this picture."

"Hi Moony." The man waved. Harry stared. Could that be Peter? He had to be. He was about to ask but Lupin had already gone on.

"You idiots," Lupin began. "I never got to tell any of you but, the Holmes card isn't real!"

The three men in the picture shared confused glances but Lily turned away snickering. "Not real?" James finally asked. "What does that mean?"

"I mean, Mama came up with the idea. She was a muggle," Lupin tried to explain as he laughed at them. "She told Papa &amp; I during our fourth year. We've had you hook, line &amp; sinker ever since. Star gold? Are you kidding me? How dumb can you get Prongs?" Lupin doubled over again, laughing &amp; Harry caught his mother's eye &amp; they both started laughing.

"STUPID WEREWOLF!" James shook his fist. Then he pointed at Sirius. "I knew it. I told you something was fishy about Sherlock Holmes. What are you laughing at Lil—oh no! You knew?"

"I know enough that you boys always pulled stuff like this &amp; I'm quite the avid fan of Sherlock Holmes," Lily laughed. "But I at least, know how to read a book. There's a delightful little thing written on the back of A. C. D.'s works. One simple word. Fiction." She collapsed out of sight under the bottom frame, but her laughter could still be heard.

"UGH!" James came stomping back to the front. "You had to wait until after I died to tell me this? Wise decision! I was soooo set on getting that card."

"You know you're dead?" Lupin asked. "But this is just the wedding day."

"Harry explained his scar to us a few years ago," Lily said as she reappeared. "We know."

Sirius returned to the front &amp; leaned on the left-hand side of the frame. "How did Peter &amp; I take it when you told us?"

"I didn't," Lupin said quietly. "Until just now. Right here. With this photograph."

Harry was keeping an indirect eye on Sirius, gauging his reactions. He was so confused about that man now. Why would he murder that same man standing beside him? Or did he even do it? "Well, it's been years, Moonlove. I think you should confess to Peter &amp; I."

"You're both dead to."

The shock on Sirius was absolute &amp; Harry couldn't help but feel the same. Sirius was actually dead? Did Lupin find him recently? James took Lily's hand &amp; they both cast a worried glance at Sirius, then Peter. Then they left the frame. Sirius took Peter's hand &amp; pulled him to the front.

"Oh Ray! When?" Sirius asked.

"Same day," Remus said. "Well, the next day. You both died."

Harry was even more confused. That wasn't right. Sirius was out there right now. Right?

Sirius pressed a hand over his heart &amp; closed his eyes. Peter looked up at Harry &amp; Lupin. "Moony, do you not have a pack anymore?"

"Just Harry," Remus said. Harry concentrated on Sirius. His reaction seemed genuine.

The long silence that followed was so thick, it could have been cut with a knife. Harry never took his eyes off Sirius. Peter hung his head, looking below the bottom frame. Sirius finally unfroze. "Ray ...if that's the case, it's been what? About twelve years?" Lupin merely nodded. "Did you ...find a new mate then?"

"_Non (No),"_ Lupin whispered &amp; Harry was starting to feel like a third wheel as was Peter most likely who still hadn't moved or looked up again.

"Moony, it's ok," Sirius said. "I'm long gone. You deserve someone new."

"Stop it," Lupin got to his feet.

"Moony, I won't get jealous."

"I said stop it!" Lupin shot back. "Every time I have ever loved someone in any way, they were ripped away from me. I'm not going through that again."

"You're still young, Moo—"

"I said stop it!" Remus actually growled &amp; Harry saw something rise on the back of Lupin's neck. The scruff!

"I don't know Animagic," Harry put a hand over the picture. "Please don't piss him off while I'm here."

Peter finally raised his head. "Moony, calm down. Think of Harry."

"Pull that fur-line in, Moony," Sirius spoke softly. "If Harry doesn't know Tribal power, you've got to be careful."

Lupin cast a quick glance at Harry. _"Desolé (Sorry)." _

"_Je t'aime (I love you)," _Sirius whispered. "Always, Moony. But you need to move on. It doesn't mean forget me."

Remus glared at the photo, at Sirius. "You have no idea what's going on out here. You're just a photograph of a wedding day long since over."

"A photograph with the memories of the life lived upto this date," Sirius said. "I'm still loving you on this date."

"Yeah, ok," Lupin stood straight. "It's lunch break now. Harry &amp; I are going now." At that, he strode away from the desk &amp; exited the door without a backwards glance.

"That's peculiar," Sirius mused. "Harry, what happened?"

"I'm still trying to figure that out," Harry said. "For the record, I don't get why he said you were dead. You're not."

"What? Why would he say that? Where am I?"

"You're out there on these grounds right now; along with the main horde of Dementors looking for you. I think Peter is dead though."

"Dementors?" Sirius shared a look with Peter. "Harry, go to the Great Hall. When you have more time, we can talk."

"Ok," Harry closed the album &amp; headed for lunch. He had never thought about it before. But it was true that pictures contained the memories of everything previous to the date taken &amp; then learned anything new by what was told them. He should talk with them. Maybe he could glean something form those preserved memories &amp; not have to read the diary. The trick was to get a picture with Sirius &amp; James alone, or maybe with Lily. But not Remus or Peter since they didn't know. Harry suddenly snickered to himself. He could talk to Sirius Black without ever having to go out &amp; face him again &amp; risk getting eaten, loss of points or Quidditch banishment.

Unlike what Sirius had asked, Harry didn't open the album for a few days. He took time to think things through first. After his next Anti-Dementor lesson, Lupin had offered Harry a Butterbeer. Harry had asked what was under a Dementor's Hood. It was then Lupin told him. Sirius Black's sentence had been upgraded from 'going back to Azkaban for life' to the Dementor's Kiss.

Harry was running out of time. The moment he left Lupin's office, Harry made to dash to the common room but he ran into McGonagall. She returned the Firebolt! Harry carried it tightly in his hands as if his life depended on it back to the Tower. The Firebolt couldn't have come at a better time. He needed to stop being mad at Hermione. Now!

He had to have a talk with the photos as soon as possible. He needed to separate the photos somehow so they couldn't wander around ...or worse, have outsiders come in to the conversation. Harry approached Hermione with the question on how Wizarding photos actually worked, particularly in an album. It wasn't until late that evening after a long hard practise in Quidditch did Harry devise a plan for the photos. He opened it up when he was alone.

"There you are!" His father in the picture of James &amp; Lily with baby Harry groused. "Padfoot's going insane! What is wrong with you, leaving him hanging like that?"

"Sorry. _Desolé. _Whatever," Harry inwardly groaned. Now he had no choice but to separate them. News about Dementors had spread through all of them. "Dad, which page has the most recent picture of you &amp; only you?"

"Uhh, 43 I think," James said. "It's the wedding day but before the ceremony."

"Excellent," Harry flipped to that without another word. Sure enough, James Potter was standing in a room by himself, holding a napkin to his nose.

James huffed. "Only Sirius would be this stupid!"

"What's wrong?"

"Lily gave me a kitten for a wedding gift," James began &amp; Harry smirked. "Turns out the damn thing is a fem-only type of cat. It hates me. Sirius just happened to catch a picture of me cleaning the scratches. I'll get him!"

"Good," Harry promptly lifted the picture off the page &amp; laid it aside.

"HEY!" James glared. "Now I can't get to the other pictures since you separated me."

Harry ignored the picture &amp; flipped to the wedding day. "I need to speak to Sirius alone first." Lily &amp; James glared. "Sorry, I'll explain later." Grumbling, Lily &amp; James left. "Is Peter gone?"

"Yeah, I'll get him." Sirius made as if to leave. "HEY!" Harry had already lifted the picture from the book. "He can't get in now."

"Good," Harry said. "Moony took the picture of this wedding shot, right?"

"Yeah," Sirius tapped on the frame but he was stuck.

"Can he enter the picture?"

"No, he isn't part of it," Sirius said. "You have to actually be in the photograph for the magic to pick up your essence. He's on page 58 &amp; a few other places though. In that way, he could get in here if you put this back."

"That's fine," Harry tossed that picture on top of the other one. Ignoring their complaints at being separated, Harry closed the album &amp; buried it in his trunk. Then he sat on his bed, Passion Year on the left &amp; the two separate pictures on the right. He stood them up against a pillow so they could sort of face each other but see him as well.

"What are you doing?" Sirius demanded.

"Keeping us separate," James glared. "No matter, one of the other photos will get you somewhere else."

Sirius blinked at him. "Oh, the cat scratch," He snickered.

"I am keeping you separate &amp; for good reason," Harry interjected. "I know about the Passion Year." This declaration produced two distinctly opposite results. Sirius merely looked confused while James reacted the way Harry predicted he would.

James dropped the napkin, exposing two scratches on his nose &amp; fell to his knees staring ahead. "Oh no." He gasped. "Not you. Not my son."

"Enlighten me," Sirius stared at James. "What's the Passion Year?"

"What, he doesn't know?" Harry asked.

"Know what?" Sirius asked as James looked away, crying softly. "Harry, let me over there. Something's wrong."

"No," Harry stated simply. "Passion Year is a diary I found a few months ago while wandering about the castle. Written by my Dad. Starts a week before your 6th year. I don't know when it ends."

Sirius wavered on his feet. "YOU WROTE ABOUT IT?!" He punched the side of his picture. "Normally, I'd say whatever gets you through, do it! But you left it lying around? Harry please, let me over there."

"Nope," Harry glared at Sirius.

"Harold James Evans-Potter!" Sirius glared at him. "If you know even half of what went on that year as you claim, then you'll know how much he's hurting now!" Sirius pointed at the picture across from him. "Let me help him."

"Sure, right before you kill him."

"Har—what? I would nev—let me over there!"

There was a scream from the other picture. Both Harry &amp; Sirius looked over &amp; saw James stand up sharply, only to turn into the Stag. Prongs skittered about, trapped in his frame. Harry forced himself to look away from his father. He was doing this to judge the reactions of Sirius.

"PRONGS!" Sirius yelled, trying to get the Stag's attention. "My God, Harry! How can you do this? Please, let me over there!" Sirius fell to his knees, looking imploringly at Harry. "Please, I don't know what I did to you for you to do this!" Sirius gasped between sobs. "I don't know how much you know of that dreadful year, but I took care of him. He needs me now."

James suddenly reappeared &amp; stumbled to the frame for support. "Harry, how—how much did you read?"

"My Grandma just announced war."

"He knows, Padfoot," James sunk to the floor. "He knows enough that we don't have to be secret. Damn it, Harry! That was not meant for you."

"Oh really? Then who?"

"No one!" James wept freely. "Just me. A release. Why is it still there? I wanted to burn it after."

"I'm trying to figure that out," Harry said, looking back at Sirius who was now lying on the ground of his picture. "You're either not behaving like a killer or a very good actor."

Sirius forced himself into a kneeling position. "What are you talking about Harry? You saw me with our werewolf earlier. I love that moon dog as if he were my own soul. The same goes for your father. I only ever had two loves in my life even though I slept around a lot before I found them. Harry," Sirius watched the other picture. "Your Dad isn't doing so well. Please! I beg you! Let me over there!"

Harry glanced back at his father's picture. James was slumped against the frame &amp; looking half-faint. "Black, when does he recover?"

"Never," Sirius whispered. Harry put his face into both hands. "He get's better, don't worry. But really, he didn't have much time to recover, considering what you told us."

Harry got off the bed &amp; retrieved the album. "Get into one picture." The relief on Sirius's face was quite visible. "But don't allow anyone else still. I'm not finished with either of you!" He put the pictures back into their places &amp; waited a few moments, then pulled out the one with James only, but now Sirius was there as well.

Sirius pulled James into a tight embrace. "Shh Prongs. Old man. I've got you." Harry gave them time by taking longer than necessary to put the album back in his trunk. "Thank you for separating us from the book," Sirius said the moment Harry returned. James had his face buried into one shoulder as Sirius held him. "But why did you separate us if you know about this? Why say I'll kill him?"

Harry watched the pair for a moment &amp; then told them the whole story. By the time he was done, Sirius had a hand on his heart again while James sat cross-legged on the floor, staring into his lap. "So now, I'm so confused with this Passion Year diary. I feel like I'm reading about a different Sirius Black. I have no idea what to think any more. Everyone thinks you're here to kill me but like I said, the worst you did was shove my Phoenix wand down your prison pants &amp; laugh at me."

"That was my worst?" Sirius raised a brow. "Wow, I'm getting rusty. I can do better than that."

"Yeah please don't," Harry glared.

James finally laughed. An evil witch's cackle really &amp; Harry was surprised to hear him. "Sirius is guilty as hell." Harry's face drained of color. "For being the biggest perv in the universe," James added. Harry rolled his eyes.

"Yeah I knew that was coming," Sirius laughed.

"But for killing me?" James was suddenly on his feet, looking livid. "That's a fucking lie!"

"Dad, I'm telling Mum!"

"You do that!" James glared. "Padfoot would never betray me! NEVER!"

"Is it possible you're blinded by love?"

"Hey you're too young to be so smart-mouthed!" James declared. "No! Not possible! For the record, I love your mother as well. If you've read that much into my memoirs, you'd know how &amp; why."

"You're attracted to her looks &amp; her temper &amp; Prongs is a Two-Spirit which worked on you," Harry said.

"Exactly."

"Yet you were a real ...shall I say, arse to her in that bath?"

James burst out laughing. "Oh come on, Harry! She literally got what she asked for."

"You are so mean!" Harry shook his head. James just fell over sobbing with laughter.

"Yeah I'm totally missing something now," Sirius said.

"I'll explain later," James was still sobbing, holding a stitch in his side.

"What I don't know is how she ended up liking you," Harry said.

James just snickered. "It all worked out. Until now," He was suddenly serious again. "Harry, I don't know why people would blame Sirius like that. It can't be true. It isn't."

Harry sighed heavily. "You said something really stupid to him once, Dad. Is it possible you said it again &amp; drove him away? When he tried to force you that anti-magus potion the first time."

"How the hell does your kid know that one?" Sirius glared at James.

"I wrote it down," James shrugged. "I was quite detailed really."

"Bit too detailed perhaps," Harry muttered under breath.

"I didn't think it would survive this long," James sighed. "Harry, I learned my lesson the first time. To this day, I've never said anything so vile to him again."

"If he did Harry, I still wouldn't kill him," Sirius said. "But I would have walked out of his life &amp; never see him again."

"Equally as destructive for me," James said. "There are things so much worse than death."

"Besides, you say Lily &amp; Peter got killed to," Sirius added. "plus nearly you, getting that scar! I would never put you of all of us combined, in such danger. No matter what happened between Jim &amp; I. Understand?"

"You don't like my mother much," Harry raised a brow. "You hated her."

"Never!" Sirius exclaimed. "Harry, Lily was the one girl I was never allowed to touch since Jim made first claim on her since our sorting. Remus also had a crush on her for a bit. I was the biggest man-ho ever until I finally grew up. Lily was untouchable for me. That's why I was mean to her, 'cause I could never have her."

"Oh wow, this gets better &amp; better," Harry moaned, massaging his head with both hands.

"Anyway, it all comes back to you," Sirius went on. "You nearly got killed. I would never do that to you! No matter what."

"This is the wedding day," Harry said. "I didn't even exist yet. How would you know?"

"You," Sirius stated simply. "You've carried this album around for a few years &amp; you're in it as a baby. I've visited those pictures enough to know something of what's going on beyond my essential memories."

Harry suddenly had a thought. "What is the most recent picture in that album?"

"I think it's the front page one," James said. "With your Mum &amp; me holding you, almost a year old."

"Almost a year old," Harry went for the album &amp; put the picture back.

"Harry," James began. "Come back &amp; see me when you're done with them."

Harry nodded, then flipped to the front picture. "Mum, can you excuse us for a moment?" Lily looked slightly confused, but bowed out. "Dad, how do you feel about Sirius Black?"

James raised his brow as he gave the baby Harry a little bounce. "Odd sort of question."

"Oh I know about the Passion Year," Harry said irritably, remembering that the two different pictures had different time stamps. "DAD!" James had dropped the baby &amp; put both hands over his mouth.

"I—I just—I—"

"DAD! You just DROPPED me! You idiot!"

"Harry honey," James tried to compose himself. "It's a photo. He's fine. I'd never do that in real life! You're still here obviously, aren't you?"

"Dad!" Harry facepalmed for a full minute.

"I don't know how you found out about the Passion Year," James snarled low. "But drop it. Right now!"

"How do you feel about Sirius?" Harry repeated.

"I love your mother to, Harry."

"Sirius?"

"I can't—I—" James proceeded to leave the picture, only to find himself trapped. Harry shoved the album aside. "Harry, please don't." James looked away. "It still hurts. I don't want to talk of it."

"We won't," Harry promised. "But if you don't answer my question, Sirius Black will face the Dementor's Kiss &amp; his own murder at Moony's hands."

"What?"

"Ask your cat-scratched picture," Harry said. "Later. But right now, Sirius!"

James looked devastated. "No no no. That can't be! Oh Padfoot! What happened?" He doubled over, as if about to faint. "Je t'aime, Sirius. Ohh, je t'aime!"

Harry half-smiled for a moment. "What did you do with your Passion Year diary?"

"Hmm?" James looked up. "Oh, uh, I don't know honestly. I know I wanted to burn it, but as of this date, I have yet to do so."

"Damn it!" Harry pushed the picture aside &amp; lay back on his pillow for a moment. "Can you think of any reason why you left that out? This is twelve years later from when you died. I found it buried under Hogwarts a while ago."

James could only stare. "Harry I have no idea why I would do that. I want it destroyed!"

"I'll burn it," Harry said. "But only after I find out why you didn't."

"I don't know!" James cried out. "I don't! I hate that you know!"

"_Desolé (Sorry)." _Harry stared at the ceiling for several minutes, then put that picture back in the album.

Lily walked back in. "Honey, where's the baby?"

"He dropped him," Harry pointed at James.

"YOU DROPPED THE BABY?!"

"That's what I said," Harry pointed out.

"Where is he?" Lily glanced around.

"Right there," James pointed at the real Harry Potter looking at the picture. "He's fine." Harry waved awkwardly as Lily glared at James.

"I mean the one year old photo, not the real teenager!"

"Sweetheart," James tried to soothe her. "It's a personal photo album. He can't have gone far!"

"YOU IDIOT!" Lily beat him over the head &amp; then took off running through the portraits. James cast a pathetic puppy dog look at Harry as he shrugged. Harry quickly flipped away back to the cat-scratch James picture.

Sirius wasn't there anymore. If anything, it seemed like James had been waiting for Harry to come back. "So," James began. "You're up to the declaration of war, are you?" Harry nodded, lifting the picture from the page so Peter or Remus wouldn't walk in. "I see," James picked at the edge of the frame for a moment. "Harry if the stakes weren't so high, I'd ask you to stop reading it. I must have left the diary behind for a reason. Oh hello, little guy," James picked up the baby. "How'd you get in here?"

Harry snickered. "You'll find out later. I bet the whole album's in an uproar."

James knelt in the center of the picture, holding the baby. He suddenly broke down in a wave of tears.

"Dad, I'm sorry."

"Not your fault, little one," James gasped. "Not your fault. I hate this whole mess!"

"I'll burn it."

"NO!" James put the baby aside &amp; thumped the carpet with his fist. "No! You told us! You said he's slated for a Dementor's Kiss! Moony wants to kill him! No!" He wiped away tears before going on. "Not my sweet Grim! You can't let that happen. He would not do this! He must have been framed!"

"How can you be sure?" Harry asked.

"Harry, every fiber of my being is screaming at you that it's wrong!" James was in a panic.

"If we're wrong &amp; Sirius did betray us," Harry cut in. James was shaking his head but Harry ploughed on. "He'll finish off what he started. What about Moony? Isn't the Marauder's oath to protect your werewolf?"

"What do you think saving Sirius will do?" James declared through gritted teeth. "You saw how Moony reacted in that classroom! Sirius told me. Harry, this is tearing him apart! Destroy Sirius? You'll destroy your wolf! What do you think Remus will do once Sirius has been kissed by Dementors &amp; executed by his own hands, huh? What do you think?" James held up his wrist &amp; pulled away the strap to expose the scars. "I've been that low &amp; I never climbed all the way up again. At least not up to when this was taken."

"So what should I do?"

"Figure it out!" James screamed at him. "Figure it out &amp; hurry! Dementors hate waiting."

"I'll keep reading," Harry resigned to the fact he had to continue. A silence fell around Harry &amp; the picture of James. The baby crawled around but couldn't get out; though, it did disappear into a closet. "Dad did you...ever, uh," He wanted to ask if James had murdered Orion. "Orion Black ..."

"You're at the Declaration right?" James sighed before going on. "Yes." He said.

"Yes what?"

"You were going to ask about Orion Black, weren't you?" James said. "I encountered him three more times after that summer."

Harry had a horrible feeling that they were talking about two different things. Harry was asking about murder, but was James talking about more rape? Four times altogether? Harry dared not ask but something of his horrific thought must have shown up in his face.

"Don't worry," James went on. "None were as bad as that first time. Not as bad ...for me anyway." He smiled. Sly. Scheming. Now Harry didn't know what to think…again. "Anyway, I must warn you now, if you're at the Declaration, then things might get a bit more ...detailed...shall we say?" Again with the sly smile.

"Oh now what did you do?" Harry moaned. Marauders! Always up to something.

"Sirius &amp; I become much closer," James said.

"Yeah, I sort of figured that one out already," Harry muttered.

"Harry," James shrugged. "things like this do happen. I did eventually find my way to your mother. Isn't that enough?"

"Oh I don't care if you experimented with Devil's Snare," Harry said. "I'm sure everyone does that eventually. Experiment I mean, not necessarily with Devil's Snare. Oh shut up!" James had started laughing so hard, he fell over on his side. Harry huffed. "I just find it hard since this is Sirius Black, not someone else. In the beginning, all I knew of Black was that he killed my whole family &amp; is responsible for this," Harry lifted his fringe to show his scar. "Now, I don't know what to believe."

"Believe me," James stated. Harry made a disparaging noise. "I guess it's a good thing it's you," James went on. "You're about the age I would have done this anyway."

"Uh you were 16, nearly 17."

"That's ...not what I'm talking about," James actually snickered. "Just consider the rest of it our little father-son sex talk, if you know what I mean." He winked! ARGH!

"DAD!"

"Oh uh, post-mortem. Of course."

"Dad," Harry wanted to kill something again. Where's Sirius Black when he needed him? James burst out laughing. "I'm putting you away now ...&amp; get that baby back to the right picture!" Harry stuck the thing back in its place &amp; closed the album.

James was still snickering. "Let me know when you get to Remus with the condoms."

Harry slammed the album into the bottom-most corner of his trunk, then closed AND locked the lid. He sat back down in his bed. "He was joking about that one. Surely!"


	17. Chapter 17

**(17) Tortured Spirit**

I couldn't believe it. War! Sirius &amp; I finally remembered how to move &amp; we each took a package which had Auror uniforms in them. There was a clamour as everyone else grabbed their uniforms &amp; the crowd spilled out into the hall. My father &amp; another Auror, Alastor Moody, stood on either side of the door until nearly everyone had gone. Sirius &amp; I waited until we were the only ones left along with Professor McGonagall &amp; the other Aurors.

I know he's out there. I took my time before attempting to leave. Mum came up to us. "You ok, Jim?" She tried to pet my hair but my horns had poked out a little. I pretended to drop my wand &amp; stooped down to pick it up, narrowly missing her hand. Prongs. Pull in. Now! I fiddled with my wand on the floor until I felt the sharp points sink in, then stood up. "Oh that's a useful Auror move," She teased. "You look pale, dear."

No shit, Sherlock! I'm losing control of Prongs &amp; my rapist is in this building near by. Oh yeah, we're at war now to. "I'm fine." My heart was racing at top Warp Speed. What is it? 4.5 if I remember correctly? What? I play Trek Trivia with Remus a lot. Bite me. (Oh &amp; no, I can't do that Vulcan hand thing to save my life! Remus can...on both hands. Show off!)

"Why are full level Aurors here?" Sirius asked.

"Oh we have some talks with the Headmaster &amp; Professors here," Mum explained. "We'll be adding a few extra security charms over the next couple of days."

"You'll be here for a few days?" I asked, dropping my wand for real. What if Orion stayed that long? He wasn't an Auror but there's no reason why he wouldn't be allowed to stay &amp; visit with his family. Sirius isn't the only one here &amp; neither is Regulus. Fortunately, that lot is all in Slytherin.

Sirius knew exactly what I was thinking. "We'll be ok. We have a lot of hide-outs to get out of parent control." He laughed it off as a teasing insult for my mother.

"Don't be too sure," Mum raised a brow at him. "I know quite a bit of this castle after all."

My Dad soon joined us. "Hey it's about lunch time. Minerva has led the rest of the young Aurors away to change into uniforms. You two should change now. Then perhaps we could meet up with the others in the Great Hall?"

He would definitely be there. I felt Sirius behind me putting a hand on my lower back. "Ok," I resigned myself to the fact I'd have to face him sooner or later.

Sirius &amp; I moved to a corner away from my parents &amp; took turns getting changed so the other could stand by &amp; block their line of sight to us. We didn't have time to conceal our tattoos so we changed as quickly as possible. The Auror uniform is mostly black, with a leather jacket that Sirius could easily swap around with his biker's outfit; while a griffon-fur lined black cloak covered the ensemble in cold weather. I remarked to Sirius how the boots resembled Captain Kirk's &amp; we both broke into a fit of laughter as we suddenly understood EXACTLY why Remus wanted to be an Auror! It was the undershirt that was a bit different. Much like the Starfleet, they were color-coded. Red was unfortunately for us trainee levels &amp; we both knew Remus would take the mickey on us for it. (Trek Trivia of the day: what do Red Shirts represent in Star Trek? Yep!)

* * *

Harry rolled his eyes as he got up &amp; went for the album. "I really hate it when he does that!" Flipping it open down the center, he found a picture with his parents on one page &amp; another of Remus, Sirius &amp; Peter on the other. "Trek Trivia of the day: what do Red Shirts represent in Star Trek?"

"Death!" They all said.

"It's the security guard that usually got killed off at the beginning of each episode," Remus explained. "Originally, it was to show the viewer what to expect. But they did the effect so much that it's become something of a joke on Star Trek. Hey Harry? Is it still going? I know they've done a few movies."

"I haven't heard of it for a while," Harry answered. "I'll ask you in the next class."

"Well this is awkward," Remus snickered. "Answering my own question."

"Well, Remus wins that one," James grumbled. "As usual. He's a walking encyclopaedia for that!"

"You getting into Star Trek?" Sirius asked.

Harry shook his head. "I've heard of it. Who hasn't? But never watched it."

"Sirius. Kill him. Please!" Remus glared amber. "How can a Marauder say he's never seen any Trek?"

"Blasphemous!" Lily added. "I loved that show to."

"Ya see this Harry?" James waved his hand indicating the others. "This is what I get dragged into all the time. Personally I preferred Star Wars."

"Ok now I'm glad you're dead out there!" Sirius grumbled.

"That was even more blasphemous!" Remus stared at James. "I may like Wars to, but Trek's way better!" Lily &amp; Sirius were nodding in agreement.

"Know what, little wolf?" James huffed. Then he did a Jedi hand-wave. "You can bite me."

"Bend over. I will!"

"Right, that's my cue to make like a tree &amp; leave!" Harry slammed the album shut &amp; put it aside.

"Banana &amp; split, Harry," Remus's distant voice sounded through the pages. "It's banana &amp; split."

"SHUT UP!"

* * *

The belt had a wand sheath that was gold-plated &amp; fit nicely just under the jacket for easy access. We put the black leather gloves into a side pocket while inside the castle &amp; then finally, laid our former school robes aside, never to be worn again so we're told. I kept thinking of Moony missing half his pack. We couldn't leave him. "Mum, Sirius &amp; I need to come back to school next year."

"You're doing double lessons this year," Mum said as we walked out the door into my silent personal hell. I glanced furtively around to see if I could spot him. "There's no need."

"Yes there is," I insisted. "Remus, remember?"

"I'm sure he'll be just fine without you," Mum said. "You can still be friends with him but since he can't be an Auror, you'll be going abroad a lot."

"He's our werewolf!" Sirius exclaimed. "We can't leave him."

"Siri, Dumbledore is taking care of him to," Dad put in. "Remus will be fine." (My parents knew what Remus was the moment they first laid eyes on him but it didn't matter to them.)

"He has packing bonds with us," I declared. "You don't understand. We've got to be here!"

"James!" We all stopped walking as Mum rounded on me. "I like Remus just fine. He's a good man. But he has his battles to fight &amp; soon you will to. Sooner or later you will be forced to choose: Remus or Auror."

"Never mind that now," Dad cut in. "You're still staying here to finish off this year. You have time to sort things out." He opened the door &amp; stood by, waiting for us to go in.

I felt as if I was being dragged to a very long slow execution. I stood rooted on the spot. Sirius put a hand on my arm. "You two go inside. We need to discuss something first. Give us a few?" My Dad nodded &amp; held an arm out for Mum. Once the door closed behind them, Sirius took me in his arms for a moment. "We don't have to go in."

"Do you think he'll stay as long as the Aurors?"

"No," Sirius stepped away from me &amp; glared at the door. "He's just here to talk to Regulus. Make sure he supports Voldemort, not us. He'll probably swing a few blood traitor insults at me to. But he won't stay."

"You think he's in there now?"

"Positive," Sirius said. "Jim, we don't have to go in."

"My parents will wonder what's wrong with me," I said. "Plus, we've been avoiding Remus &amp; Peter for a while. They'll start asking questions soon."

"He'll be at Slytherin's Table," Sirius said. "Stay on the other side of me, away from it &amp; keep looking ahead." He glanced around but no one was out in the hall any more. He kissed my lips quickly &amp; softly, then took my arm. "It'll be ok." I let him lead me inside.

We marched down that aisle between tables, in our new Auror uniforms, cloaks sailing behind us. I kept my eyes firmly on Gryffindor Table. Remus was sitting between his parents &amp; leaned out a bit to watch us come in. (The only reason his muggle mother can even be here is due to marriage &amp; her blood ties to Remus. I wondered what they were doing here since they weren't Aurors, but had no time to ask Remus at the moment.) We marched past the Lupins &amp; headed down near the end where my parents were already sitting. Lily was across from them, though she was standing &amp; staring right at Sirius &amp; I. She moved to our side of the table so she could speak under breath.

"I see him," Lily made a slight move with one brow towards the Slytherin Table. "How dare he? How long do you think he'll stay?"

"Possibly just over night," Sirius said. "He's here to make sure Regulus doesn't follow in my footsteps."

They spoke a bit more but I felt as if everything was fading from me. My heart was pounding so wildly that its thudding seemed to fill the entire Hall. I could sense someone was watching me. I did the stupidest thing in my life so far then. I slowly but surely looked over my shoulder.

Our eyes met. He was staring right at me, sitting at Slytherin Table. He smiled. Softly &amp; so much like Sirius. I was petrified without the need of the spell.

"HEY!" Sirius was shaking me by the shoulders. I looked blankly at him. "Where did you go off to?" He asked with a laugh, but it didn't reflect in his eyes. He knew what happened. "Come sit down! I'm starving."

I wasn't. I wondered if I would ever eat again. Sirius put me between himself &amp; my father, with Mum on the other side of Dad. When the feast appeared on the tables, I wanted to pass out. As in the Quidditch stands, Sirius again shifted both our cloaks to hide ourselves &amp; took my hand. I just stared into my plate as a few tears fell into it. I suddenly felt something rubbing my ankles under the table. It felt like it was coming from someone sitting across from me. I dared not look, thinking stupidly if Orion had suddenly come to my table to harass me. He could easily do it since Sirius was right here.

But the nudging continued. I knew that if it had been Orion, Sirius would have caused a scene by now. I finally looked up a little &amp; saw through my over-grown fringe, Lily. Sitting right there. Then I understood what I was feeling, her shoeless foot rubbing the front of my legs. Something I had dreamed about for years! I blinked out the other tears demanding to fall, then put a finger under my lens to rub my eyes dry.

She leaned forward to whisper, "Nice boots Potter. Just like Captain Kirk."

"You know about Star Trek?" Sirius &amp; I gaped at her.

"Of course! I'm muggleborn," Lily stared right back. "How on Earth do two purebloods like yourselves know about that?"

"Remus," Sirius &amp; I said at the same time.

Lily laughed. "Should have known." She glanced at the Slytherin Table &amp; I noticed that she had her arms crossed, wand held firmly in one gloved hand. No one would ever know about it, but Lily was taking on her first mission as Auror. Being my personal body guard.

"Jimmy Boy," Mum was looking at me. "You haven't eaten anything. Are you feeling alright?"

Sirius was squeezing my hand. Lily was giving me the footsies. I rested my chin on one hand (not realising my elbow was in a bowl of salad) &amp; said, "Oh yeah! Sure. I just ate earlier with the guys." Lily &amp; Sirius had suddenly stopped groping me as they turned away to laugh. What are they laughing at anyway?

"Jim," Mum reached past Dad with her wand &amp; tapped my elbow. Stupid bloody salad bowls! Once I had cleaned that up, Mum went on suspiciously. "Really? What did you eat?"

"Uhh, plomeek soup," I said. Sirius &amp; Lily both snorted. "Remus's favourite. It's a French thing." (Technically, it's Vulcan, which explains both Sirius &amp; Lily choking to death right about now.) "Yeah, oh it's vegetarian soup to. Pretty good stuff."

"I'll have to get the recipe," Mum turned back to her own plate &amp; began talking with my father again. Sirius &amp; Lily were both in stitches now. I kicked Sirius but Lily got away since she's a girl. Grr. Being a gentleman really is a bitch at times!

I had actually forgotten Orion Black sitting not far away from me for a short time &amp; finally managed to eat something. By now, everyone knew we were at war. It was the talk of the Great Hall. The owls came in late bearing Daily Prophets which had been held back until the Aurors had been sent to various areas to secure them. Now, papers rained down with the head title "WIZARDING WORLD AT WAR" across the front page &amp; the entire thing was full of articles on it.

It was when most of the people had gotten up to leave that I was rudely reminded of my predicament. My parents had gotten up as well &amp; we were about to head for the doors when I saw him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lily dash around to stand behind Sirius &amp; I as Orion Black came over. He spoke quickly with my parents. They were civil to each other, but neither Mum or Dad liked Orion much for what he did to Sirius.

Orion looked over my head as if I wasn't there. "I suppose there's no talking to you is there?"

"Nope," Sirius glared, keeping a firm hand on something under my Auror's cloak. I was too terrified to notice what at the time but now know it was my Invisibility Cloak. I felt something hard curl around my tail bone &amp; press into my flesh until it hurt. I knew some part of the Stag had shown up but fortunately it was under my uniform. I also strangely had a hard on yet having no inclination for sex. It must be the Stag again since one way to show dominance is to force the other under you. Remus did it to me often enough both in human &amp; wolf form. It was never for sex.

"Well I have to speak to Dumbledore about something," Orion looked past me towards the teacher's High Table. "Good bye Mr. Potter. Ma'am." How falsely polite! I want him dead. He made as if to step to the High Table ...&amp; he promptly walked right into me. He grabbed me by the shoulders to halt my fall. "Why James! I'm so sorry! I didn't even see you!"

"Quite alright," Mum said. "He was rather standing out there. Come on Jimmy Boy."

Oh Merlin! I'm in his arms. He's touching me! I glared into his eyes as he smiled coolly back. I reached for my wand, not caring that several eyes would see me murder him. Something pulled me away. Sirius was soon holding me tightly from behind. Orion winked! Quick so no one else saw it. But I did! I struggled in Sirius's arms as Orion headed for the High Table. Let me at him! Then a silvery mist fell over my eyes even though I had my glasses on.

"Well you might as well stay under your cloak, Jim," Sirius was saying in a laugh. "Seeing as how no one can see you anyway." If it weren't for him covering me like that in more ways than one, I'd be writing this from Azkaban. My horns had come out. All the way! I saw Lily purposely trip &amp; fall. Magic shot out of her wand, hitting Orion hard on the shoulder, making him yelp.

"Sir, I'm so sorry!" Lily lied. I could see her murderous glare.

"Quite alright," Orion rubbed his shoulder. "I'll just go to the hospital wing." He turned back &amp; Sirius pushed me aside so Orion wouldn't walk into me a second time.

Once he past, Sirius spoke to my parents. "You go on ahead. We want to talk to Remus anyway."

"Alright," My mother said &amp; my parents walked out.

Sirius ducked under the cloak with me. "Prongs, your antlers! Pull them in!"

"I can't!" I felt my voice crack. "H-he touched—me! I can't!"

"Come," He whispered softly, taking me in his arms. "Press close to me." In a louder voice, he spoke to Lily. "His antlers are out. We can't get rid of them."

"Great!" Lily was glaring at a point just off to our left. "That was really quick thinking Sirius. Pulling out the Invisibility cloak."

I was shaking from head to foot. I can't believe he touched me again! I cried hard into Sirius's shoulder. "He's really scared Lily. If the whole Stag comes out, this cloak won't cover him."

"Come on," Lily headed to the back of the Great Hall towards the Trophy Room door at the side of the High Table. "The teachers are all gone now. Let's go in here."

We made it barely in time. The moment Lily closed the door behind the three of us, Sirius pulled off the cloak &amp; I literally bounded down the short stairs into the Trophy Room. By the time I hit the bottom, I was Prongs.

Lily &amp; Sirius put so many protection charms on that door that we were lucky to find it ourselves later. They sat together on the stairs, side by side, in silence, while I stampeded around the room &amp; bugled several times. It went on for nearly an hour until I finally forced him to submerge. Lily was actually hanging on to his arm &amp; lying her head on his shoulder. It was so weird to see them being nice to each other.

"James," Sirius took up both my hands. "We need to talk. About ...about maybe using...a certain potion."

"I've thought about it," I admitted. "Make it just in case. I need some time to think."

"Alright," Sirius stood up, then helped Lily to her feet.

"That is so unnatural," I remarked. "You two. Being nice to each other." Sirius &amp; Lily shared a look, then turned away snickering.

"Jim I'm sorry," Sirius suddenly went on. "I didn't think he'd do that in front of your parents! I didn't think he'd try to touch you again. I don't know why he'd do that. He's had his way already."

"He's making sure he has control of you," Lily said. "He'll keep you under his thumb. Needle you. It's mental torture."

"What he did to me last summer was more than mental," I leaned on Sirius for support. "He nearly killed me."

"Will you be ok to make it to the common room?" Sirius asked.

I looked long &amp; hard at Lily. "We'll have to show her our ways."

Lily was watching us apprehensively as Sirius pulled out our beloved Map. "Use this." He handed it over &amp; showed her how to use it.

Lily couldn't believe what she was seeing. She stared at it for several minutes. I clung to Sirius while she absorbed herself in the Map's lines. I was still hard as a rock &amp; I pressed firmly into his hipbone, holding him in place with the force. I knew Prongs was demanding to be Delta again but I was quite content to plod along as the Omega. They were taking care of me. Why change that? I felt that bit of the Stag curl around my tailbone again, tucking in to my flesh so tightly it hurt.

"This is amazing!" Lily gasped. "I can't believe you guys did all this."

"It's Moony's actually," Sirius said. "He drew most of it."

"But to actually have found all these lost passage-ways!" Lily went on. "I'm sure we can get you safely to the Tower. Using this, you can't be touched."

Lily led the way. I stayed between her &amp; Sirius as we trotted along until we came to the entrance of one of our secret routes. After checking around to make sure no one was watching, Lily spoke the password to the gargoyle 'jumping jellies' &amp; it jumped aside to expose a hole in the wall that led into the bowels of a Hogwarts long forgotten. The gargoyle jumped back in place once we were all inside. We threaded our way to the Tower.

We made it safely. I knew our next class would be starting soon. I had no idea what to do about it. Lily suggested calling in sick but then I would have to hide in the hospital wing as proof, allowing easy access to me. I didn't want to see Orion again. I had no idea how to sit through the next class without Prongs bursting out of me &amp; there was no time to make the anti-magus potion for me right now. Alice Jay came down the stairs of the girls' dorms to head back for class &amp; insisted Lily &amp; we go with her. Sirius sent Lily ahead, saying we would follow in a minute. We were now alone in the Tower. Without a word, I headed upstairs to my bed with Sirius close behind.

Sirius locked the door behind us as I undid my belt &amp; loosed my trousers. "Padfoot, can you see what's going on back there?" I felt his hand touch my lower back, then slide lower past my tailbone. He pulled on something &amp; I sensed something familiar lift up before it pulled out of his grasp &amp; hugged my flesh again.

My damn tail!

"He's using it to protect himself," Sirius said, tossing his jacket onto his bed. "The entire tail is out, covering you."

"I'm grateful for the gesture, but it's damned annoying!"

"Prongs is as stressed as you are," Sirius said. "Our death threat isn't helping either, I'm sure."

"He needs to pull that tail in," I said.

Sirius put his arms around my waist from behind. He kissed the side of my neck. "He needs to relax."

"Fat chance!" I actually stamped the ground with one foot like a grumpy rabbit. "With my hunter right here in this castle, hunting me?"

"Oh Jim! I really didn't expect him to do that in public." His embrace tightened around me. I leaned back against him. I didn't dare speak. I knew I'd break down again if I did. We stayed like that for several minutes, knowing class (Charms) was started by now, knowing neither of us would finish any more classes today, knowing we'd both lose points &amp; probably get detention for it all. "What about your other problem?" Sirius murmured in my ear after about half an hour of just standing there.

"What problem?"

"Well you weren't exactly hugging me with your arms down in the Trophy Room," Sirius pointed out.

I half smiled. "Sorry."

"Don't apologise," Sirius corrected me for the umpteenth time. I pressed my nose into his cheek, Stag-style kiss. Sirius hesitated before asking, "Do you want me to...?" I nodded, pressing my nose to his cheek again. "If you change your mind, let me know. I'll stop." He slid his hands down lower into my loose trousers &amp; used the undersides of his wrists to rub against me. Prongs huffed loudly, wanting to rut all of a sudden. "How's your tail?" He asked after a few moments passed.

"Still there," I was leaning heavily on him by now as he continued to manipulate my desire. I was soon half-crumpled on the floor, borne up only by him holding me.

"We're both going to be in so much trouble," He said the moment he pushed me over.

"Mhm," I didn't rightly care at the moment as I had other things on my mind. "Damn tail. Still there."

By now, I was lying on the floor with my head in his lap &amp; his hands still down my trousers. I drifted off to sleep for a while. I don't think it was that long since when I woke up, we were still in the same position &amp; it was starting to get uncomfortable, curled up on the floor like that. Sirius was looking at me, as if waiting for me to wake up. My hips suddenly twitched unexpectedly. I had forgotten his fingers were still down there until he had suddenly pulled out, giving me one long stroke as he did so.

"What did you do that for?" I managed a laugh, still feeling sleepy.

He sat up &amp; leaned over me. I then received the strangest kiss of my life. He kissed my lips &amp; it was upside down since he was over my head. "I've been thinking about something while you were resting."

"You? Actually have a brain? Trez impossibile!"

"Yeah yeah, whatever!" He flicked my nose. I finally stretched out, keeping my head in his lap. "Jim, just in case...something happens, I need you to do something for me."

"In case what happens?"

"Shh," He kissed me upside-down again, then moved towards my throat. "If Orion does force you again, I want you to relax &amp; focus on what I did to you after your Tribal Summons."

He had said three different things at once &amp; I had no idea what he was talking about. Force? Relax? Tribal Summons? "What?"

"I'm going to teach you something right now," Sirius went on. "Just lie still. Close your eyes &amp; focus on us after the Summons."

"Not a …hard...thing to do," I snickered. "Considering you just aroused me a moment ago."

"I did that on purpose," Sirius said. "Now hush up &amp; focus." He had his hands on my shoulders &amp; pressed down along my chest. I felt him tugging at something &amp; then a touch of cool air as he laid open my jacket &amp; shirt. "That ought to help. Now, remember what I did to you. How I caressed your skin. Teased your desire. Can you remember how it felt? How it burned?"

I think I nodded, or made some sort of affirmative noise, but just thinking about that night would often bring me close to the edge.

"Good, you're breathing faster. You can feel it then," He knelt at my head again &amp; ran his fingers over my face. He leaned down to whisper so low I barely heard. "Remember how close you were?"

My answer was a violent tremor throughout my body. "As close as now!" I gasped in one breath. How the hell was this possible? He wasn't even touching me.

"You could go all night like that," He whispered. "Isn't that what you said?"

Another tremor nearly made me sit up, but he put a hand on my forehead &amp; pressed me back down. "Sirius! Merlin's sake, how are you doing this?"

"I'm doing nothing," he kissed my brow. "You are. Stay focused on that night. Can you think of us as if we had gone all the way?"

I've been thinking about that a lot lately but I'll be damned before I admit it! So there! My brain however, sent a different message to my mouth. "Yes." I hate myself! I felt my face burning. Here I thought blushing was for girls only!

"Good," He held my head between his hands. "Focus on that now. Think of us together." I did. "Think of me holding you under me as we move as one." Oh I did! I reached up &amp; grabbed his shoulders. "Now," His seduction washed over my ear. "Think of us finishing as one."

My fingernails dug so hard into his shoulders right through the Red Shirt, it's a wonder he didn't cry out or pull away. I have no idea how, but I suddenly felt a powerful surge &amp; a release so strong, my spine took on the shape of a deadly bow &amp; I stayed like that for a while as it seemed to happen in slow motion as usual. "Sirius!" I was suddenly lying flat on the floor again,

"All better now?" He smirked at me.

"What the hell did you just do to me?"

"Are you complaining?" he stared incredulously at me.

"I …well…no of course not!" That had been the best feeling in the world. "But how?"

"Muggles call it sexual energy but they have no idea what they're talking about," Sirius leaned in &amp; gave me a quick kiss. "Basically, you focus on what you feel &amp; what you want to feel &amp; focus on how you want it done. Concentrate on the areas you want touched. Relive past moments of pleasure. Rather amazing trick, don't you think?"

"Yeah," I gasped weakly. No wonder the women in this castle were crazy for him. I realised that they probably missed him as he hadn't dated anyone since we started last September, apart from me secretly.

"Do you think you can do that again?"

"Not right now."

"Of course not," Sirius stood up. "But as soon as possible, you should try it again. Practise it."

"I think I...I will," I ran both hands through my hair. "Why did you show me that?"

"After that stunt Orion pulled today, I realised if he wanted to, he could just hurt you again," He knelt in front of me. I felt a rising panic at the mere mention of that name. "If he does—"

"No!"

"If he does," Sirius took me in his arms. "I want you to do what you just did. Just let go &amp; recall that night."

I was suddenly no longer drunk on the after-effects of a pleasure high. I stared at him, not believing what he was suggesting. "I...no no! I can't!"

"James."

"If he does that again, Sirius, I'll die!"

"No, you'll go to our Summoning grounds &amp; be with me."

I exposed my suicide cuts. "Sirius, I can't! Go through! Something like that again! I can't!"

He sat beside me &amp; put a hand on my face. "Shut him out," he said softly. "Just shut him out. Recall that night. Don't fight him. Just leave &amp; go to us." I wanted to tell him I couldn't do that, but my lips trembled too much. He pressed a finger to my mouth. "Shut him out." He leaned down &amp; kissed my chest over my heart. Prongs was there. The moment he sat up &amp; met my eyes, my full rack came out. "Oh Prongs," Sirius put a hand on my chest. "Don't make me destroy you. But James is more important. I'll do what it takes to protect him, even if it means losing you. Please submerge."

The horns disappeared. Sirius passed a hand down my back but my tail was gone as well. I stood up &amp; got dressed. My shirt was drenched &amp; clung to my wet body. I put on the Auror's cloak so I wouldn't get cold. "Let's get this over with."

Sirius stood up. "You want to get our detentions done?" He laughed but I merely headed out the door. Sirius would have to keep up.

We were almost running, but I kept it to a fast walk. Sirius attempted to head to Charms but I hurried on. I wasn't going to any more classes today. I headed right past a grouchy Argus Filch, up to the staff's meeting room &amp; burst through the door. Sure enough, Dumbledore &amp; several other Professors were there, along with all the full Aurors. My parents stood up suddenly as I marched inside.

"My dear boy," Dad looked me over. "What's wrong with you?"

I needed my father. He had been a Healer half a century ago before switching to Auror. He wouldn't put me in Azkaban. He's my father &amp; unlike Sirius's father, mine at least cared about me. He wouldn't dare! "Can I speak to you alone?"

"Not right now," Dad began. "We're in the middle of a meeting."

My tail reappeared. "Now Dad. Or I'll die!" I turned &amp; marched out passed a rather confused Sirius &amp; headed into an unused classroom nearby.

"Shouldn't you be in class?" Dad said to Sirius as he walked by him.

"Dad please hurry," I called for him. "I can't control it much longer."

Dad &amp; Sirius followed after me. Sirius locked the door &amp; cast several protective &amp; repelling charms on them. Dad watched him, rather alarmed. Yeah well, wait until he turns to me. He finally did so &amp; both he &amp; Sirius gasped.

I was crackling. Bolts of power ran up &amp; down my body, sparkling yellow. I was shivering with the warped magic twisting against me. I held up my hands, exposing my palms. Bursts of power snapped out of them. It was all I could do to keep Prongs inside me &amp; it was killing me.

"James, what is going on?" Dad stared at the power surges in shock.

"I'm an illegal Animagus &amp; I'm having problems."

Sirius clutched his heart with one hand, his mouth with the other. But my Dad surprised me. "I know." Sirius now had both hands over his mouth as Dad went on. "I suspected it for a while. John Lupin has found some strange prints around his home over last summer's first full moon &amp; tufts of fur in his home over the second one. The prints are werewolf of course, but a small animal &amp; something of the deer family to. Both times those incidents occurred, Remus had three visitors. You two &amp; Mr. Pettigrew. At least two of you are Animagi, aren't you?" (Thank God Padfoot didn't join the night romps. Maybe now we can keep Dad guessing who the other one is.) "I'd say all three of you are really. It wouldn't make sense that one isn't since you're always all together."

Damn it! Whatever.

"Yes, Dad," I fell to my knees as a particularly violent jolt from my Spirit shot through me. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean for this to happen."

"What on Earth were you thinking?" Dad glared at me. "I appreciate what you're trying to do for John's son, but to attempt something that dangerous? Jim, there's a reason it's illegal without supervision."

"I'm sorry!" I gasped as another bolt circumvented my entire body. "I'm—OH!" There had been a flash of Light emanating from my palms. I clapped them together in an attempt to catch my Spirit. Prongs was trying to tear from my body. Dad &amp; Sirius both made a move towards me, but another explosion of bright white Light burst from my hands. It was shaped like a Stag. "Stay back. STAY BACK!" I grasped my Spirit again, forcing him inside me. "I'm losing control. Stay back." I held my hands tightly together around that ball of Light, my very life-force. "NO! STAY WITH ME!"

"I need to find a ready made anti-magus potion!" Sirius exclaimed as Dad stared horrified at me, trying to gauge the reaction of my Spirit &amp; deduce his next outburst.

"So you're the Stag," Dad said as he saw the Light take shape.

"I don't want the anti-magus potion," I gasped between jolts. "NO! COME BACK!" There was another explosion of Light. I pressed my hands to my chest. If Prongs succeeded in leaving me, I would die right then &amp; there. "I'm the biggest animal in the pack. Analyse Remus. A lot of those scars are from my horns keeping him at bay—oh no you don't!" I doubled over, holding him under me. "I've recently done a Tribal Summons with Sirius as my Watchtower to speak to my Spirit. He's hurt &amp; it's killing both of us."

"How long have you known your Spirit?"

"Mid-fourth year."

Dad stared at me. "That long? Yet you wonder why you're having problems?"

"No!" I shook my head. "My Spirit &amp; I had a perfect union. We all did. They respected the fact that we were protecting a wolf. I've only just lost control recently."

"You said your Spirit is hurt?"

"Yes," I yelped as a bolt of power went right up my throat.

"Oh James! What have you done?" Dad stared at me. "When did he get hurt?"

"Earlier this year," I tried to be vague as possible.

"How?"

"I can't tell you that."

"Then I can't help you."

"Dad, he's dying!" I cried out. "We both are."

"How do you expect me to heal you if I don't know what to heal?"

"I can't tell you!" I screamed at him. "You'll just have to guess."

"I could kill you! I won't do that."

"I'll die anyway if you don't," I shook my head furiously as my horns suddenly came out. My glasses went flying.

"JAMES! TELL ME!" Dad had his wand trained on me.

"Let me talk to him," Sirius came closer to me than he should have. I was surrounded by another flash of Light. Sirius spoke in French to me. "We have to tell him."

"No."

"James, we must!" Sirius grabbed my hands. His body jerked with a power bolt surging through both of us.

"SIRIUS GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Dad bellowed. "You'll corrupt your Spirit!"

"NO!" Sirius glared at him. "My Spirit is the only thing that can stop this!" He clung to my hands. Padfoot cavorted over his fingers &amp; sniffed at the places were we were interlocked. Prongs suddenly appeared over my hands &amp; touched noses to Padfoot. Sirius switched to Iroquois &amp; spoke to her. I'm not sure exactly what but afterwards, I didn't burst into flashes of Stag-shaped Light any more. The tattoos soon left our hands. I felt as if I was kicked in the chest as mine hit my heart.

Dad was staring at our clasped hands. "Holy Phoenix! I have never seen that before &amp; I've been around a lot of Animagi. I've never seen tattoos communicate to each other, not even if they're the same Tribe."

"As Jim told you," Sirius held my gaze. "We're a pack. We take care of each other." I grunted &amp; tossed my head back as another surge all but threw me off my feet. Prongs was still fighting me. "Prongs! Trust me! Please."

"What the hell happened to him?"

I tried to tell Sirius not to, but I was forced to my knees by Prongs. "Je t'aime," Sirius whispered to me, then turned to my father. "What I tell you now does not leave this room. Only Lily Evans knows. Not Remus. Not Peter. No one. Swear on your magic!"

"Excuse me?" Dad couldn't believe Sirius was bold enough to ask for something like that. Break an oath sworn on magic, you'll lose your powers &amp; live as a muggle or Squib. My body contorted with several power bolts at once &amp; I fell to my side.

Sirius defiantly stared at my father. "DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! HE'S DYING!"

"Yes!" Dad raised his wand &amp; touched its tip to Sirius's wand-tip. "I swear."

"That last week of summer, when he was sick," Sirius began. "I moved in because Orion did something terrible. Jim wasn't actually sick, Sir. He was raped."

I knew it would destroy my father. I knew it! I saw his face when Sirius had no choice but to betray my secret to him. Dad stared at him. "W...what? Siri! No!"

Sirius whispered softly. "He was raped...&amp; ever since then, his Spirit has been wrecked."

"Dad!" I screamed as my stomach twisted with the Spirit. "Heal him! Please!"

Without another word, my father pointed his wand at me. I was lifted into the air &amp; lying flat on nothing before him. He began working around me, spinning his magic. I don't know what he did but it hurt like hell. I passed out.

When I woke up, I was lying on a bench with Sirius &amp; my father both standing against a table, watching me. We were still in the unused classroom. I no longer had power surges sparkling over my body &amp; I didn't see any flashes of Light. I felt my tattoo resting on my right hip but something wasn't right. I looked over at my father &amp; spoke but it came out in Lakotan.

"What did he say?" Dad asked Sirius.

"I don't know," Sirius shook his head. "I'm Iroquois. He's Lakotan."

"That just made what your tattoos did, that much more profound."

"I said..." I spoke slowly, focusing on English. "When are we leaving for Azkaban?"

My father smiled for a moment. "I'm not turning you in. You're secret's safe with me. I'm going to alter John Lyall's memory as well so he won't look into these prints around his place further." Sirius breathed a loud sigh of relief but Dad was glaring at both of us. "I hope you two brats learned your lesson! Messing around with things this ancient? Remus should ever be grateful for you lot."

"He doesn't know about any of this," I said as I slowly sat up.

"I know what everyone does &amp; does not know," My father said. "Sirius explained it to me. Now Jim, I must ask you, why didn't you tell us what happened last summer?"

He's too old. He's ill. I didn't want to stress him out. "How could I?" I just shrugged.

He came to me &amp; put a hand on my shoulder. "I'll need a few things to heal your Stag."

"You CAN heal him, can't you?" I was afraid he would try to give me an anti-magus potion.

"Now that I know what happened, yes," Dad said. "It'll take a few days while I get some ingredients together for a potion. It's been a while since I was a Healer."

"What if he turns against me again?" I asked.

Sirius shared a look with my father before saying, "He won't. He's ...locked up."

"Locked up?"

Sirius came close to me &amp; we shared a look that my father couldn't see. He put a hand on my hip. "May I?"

I stood up &amp; allowed him to loose my belt. Sirius then pulled down the right edge of my clothes &amp; pointed. I looked down &amp; saw my Spirit on my hip bone. He was again a black outline, having healed from the Summons but he had seven gold bars criss-crossed over him like a net. "What did you do?'

"He's tied up," Dad explained. "He can't hurt you. Can't leave you but you can't Summon him &amp; you can't transform until I loose those bars."

"How long will you take to cure him?"

"Not until next week."

"Dad!" I looked up horrified. "The full moon's tomorrow. I need my Stag!"

"Tough," Dad glared at me. "That thing nearly killed you today. No full moons for you until further notice."

"But Dad!"

"SILENCE!" Dad cast a glance at Prongs. "There will be other full moons. You just can't go to this one. I'm sorry."

"What the bloody hell can I tell Remus then?" I snarled through gritted teeth. "I need my Stag! I'm the biggest animal!"

"Remus has Sirius &amp; Peter," Dad said. "Tell them you're on an Auror mission. I'll have you sent to Hogsmeade for your first patrol. You simply can't do it this time."

"I have never missed a full moon since I Merged!"

"Didn't your mother &amp; I warn you about this?" Dad said.

"Sirius?" I looked at him for help but he was avoiding my eyes. "Sirius! Please tell me you're not going along with this?"

"I'm sorry, Jim," Sirius turned away from me.

"Get dressed, James," Dad ordered. "Sirius, take him back to Gryffindor Tower. I'll take care of your remaining classes for the day. I don't want my boy out &amp; about with that man here." He then took my face in his hands. "Oh Jim! You look terrible. No wonder. Stay in your Tower." He turned &amp; pointed his wand at the door for over a minute. "You have some rather good charms put up here, Sirius. You'll make a great Auror. First mission: keep James safe."

"I will Sir," Sirius said. "Thank you." When my father left, Sirius put a hand on my shoulder but I shook him off. "You ok?"

"No," I turned away from him.

"It's one full moon," Sirius tried to comfort me. "The pack's been short one for the end of last year since I was banished. At least you're not banished."

"I might as well be," I stared at the opposite wall.

"Jim, you would have died today."

I turned sharply to him, but didn't meet his eyes. I lifted my cut wrist &amp; pulled back the strap. "Like I care."

"I won't let you die Jim." He pulled me close to him. "I won't ever let you die!"

"I wish you would!" I struggled to get away from him but he clung to me. "Let me go!"

"Never!" Sirius pulled me back to him. "I'll never let go Jim. I'll never let go!" We struggled for a moment, but I finally gave up. Gave in. He sealed my mouth with his own &amp; kissed me long &amp; deep. Sirius put his head over my shoulder. "At least, we can finally cure that Stag."

"I guess so," I shrugged. Part of me wished that my Spirit had succeeded in destroying me. "What'll Remus think?"

"He'll understand," Sirius said. "Auror patrol. As for Moony, Padfoot will just tell him you're off really sick. He'll be fine."

"Auror patrol," I muttered. "In Hogsmeade? We may be at war but it isn't close to here yet."

"Well there have been a couple of Death Eaters through there before," Sirius said. "Maybe you'll get lucky &amp; get rid of a straggler. Look on the bright side, you're getting your first mission before me."

"We should have been together," I said. "People are noticing how good we are as partners. I don't want anyone else. I haven't learned with others. What if someone I get is a complete stranger I don't know how to work with? Someone I can't sneak off &amp; use my Stag with?"

"As you say, it's just Hogsmeade," Sirius shrugged. "I'll be there with you for the others." He smiled slyly. "You're right. We are good partners." I rolled my eyes, but felt my lips twitch into a smirk.

Lily burst in on us but fortunately, we were standing slightly apart by now. "Jim. Sirius. You've got to come now! Your Dads—it's dreadful!"

"Couldn't care less about mine," Sirius grabbed my hand with his left &amp; Lily's with his right &amp; allowed her to lead us on.

We ran outside &amp; across the Transfiguration Courtyard to the long winding stone stairs leading down to the boathouse. Bolts of magic were shooting out of it &amp; we heard voices as we came closer. I feared the worst. What if my father had gone crazy on Orion &amp; openly accused him of what he had done? Then the whole school would know &amp; he would lose his powers. On the other hand, I hoped Dad would kill him. I wanted Orion dead like nothing else! Please, kill him!

By the time we entered the boathouse, my Dad &amp; Orion had seemed to forget that they were pureblood sorcerers &amp; were now engaged in an all-out muggle fist fight. I found a sordid pleasure at seeing Orion bleed. My father may be old, but he had caught Orion by surprise by suddenly punching him hard across the face. He was now bleeding, as I had once bled, though him from a split lip &amp; crushed nose.

"My boy!" Dad punched Orion again. "My only son! How could you do that to him?" He suddenly kicked hard, hitting Orion so hard between the legs that he crumpled to the ground. Sirius &amp; Lily had plunged past me to intervene. I pressed up against the doorframe, feeling the cold of frozen over stone in stark contrast to the sudden burning of heat I felt when I saw Orion hurt like that. I suddenly stepped away as my mother came crashing through.

"What's going on in there?" She didn't even seem to notice me. "Charlus? Oh my! Orion? What are you two doing?"

"Dorea stay out of it!" My father punched Orion hard across the face as he knelt there trying to recover from the kick.

"CHARLUS!" She put a hand on his shoulder. "What is the matter with you?"

"You stay away from my family!" Dad shot at Orion. "You understand? That includes Sirius!"

"Orion," My mother glared at him. "Sirius left your home. He's with us now. Come Charlus. Let's go." It was a struggle, but she did manage to pull my father away. "You kids get back to class." Dad caught my eye &amp; shook his head.

Lily went to class alone while Sirius brought me back to the safety of our dorms. We lay on his bed in silence for the rest of the day. I wished my Dad had killed that monster, but I still enjoyed the fact that Orion felt pain in the same area I had when he touched me.

Sirius soon had my shirt spread open as before &amp; I found myself lying with my head in his lap again, though now we were on his bed. He kissed me upside-down, then moved forward to my throat. He moved to my chest, then lower still. I found ourselves nearly in a 6-9 &amp; I realised I had never done anything like that to him before now &amp; wondered if I should try. I was spared from trying to ask him about it though as he returned to my head. Again, he made me focus on the night of my Tribal Summons, drawing out the sexual power of that night, letting it drive me over the edge.

Throughout the last half of the day, that was all I did. Four times, maybe five. I lost count. I wished it would last forever. I loved every moment of it so I was suddenly in a right foul mood when we realised class was over &amp; students had been returning for the night.

Sirius smirked at me &amp; brought me into the showers, the last place that was free of students. He actually locked the door so no one could follow. We shared a long hot shower; though, we didn't do much to each other. A kiss here. A touch there. He was giving me a rest but I had wanted so much more. I wanted to be a part of him &amp; there were several times when I wished I could just grab him &amp; have my way.

But I had never done that to anyone before, neither man or woman &amp; all I knew about it was force &amp; pain &amp; the last thing I wanted to do was hurt Sirius ...so I didn't ask for more. Since Prongs was on lock-down, his instincts didn't take over either; otherwise, I was quite sure that he, unlike me, would have no problems mounting someone for a good long rut which was something I was really starting to want but to terrified to ask for.

Sirius put a hand on my right hip, staring down at the tattoo. "Still not how I imagined you being tied up, you know."

Damn him! Was he telepathic or what? I looked down as well, though more to hide the furious blushing then anything else. "Yeah well, at least he's safe." Padfoot showed up &amp; pressed as close as possible to Prongs, right at Sirius's fingertips.

"She's worried," Sirius said. Padfoot lay Sphinx-style along the fingers, curling her tail.

"I honestly don't get why the Grim is a boy when you transform," I said. "Shouldn't you be a girl in Grim form?"

Sirius laughed. "I've wondered that myself but I guess it's just my male body taking a different shape that the Spirit allows me to do." He lifted his hand from my hip &amp; Padfoot shot to his throat, stopped to scratch her neck with a hind paw, then disappeared over one shoulder. I found myself staring at his throat. Just kiss it already! He's done that to me often enough. "So," Sirius held me against the back wall. "are you ok?"

My Stag's on lockdown, I can't go to the next pack gathering &amp; I'm having very disturbing thoughts of fucking his mind out but can't 'get up' the nerve to do so. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

"You've just encountered Orion Black for the first time since this whole mess started &amp; you're fine?"

A mess my poor dear father now knows about on top of it all. "It was nerve-racking," I admitted.

He held me close to his body &amp; I felt every curve &amp; form pressed against me. "I swear to you my love ..."

Oh!

My!

Crystal!

Ball...room Blitz!

"Some day soon, we will kill him."

* * *

_(AN: Two quick disclaimers. (ok three...yeah yeah, ripped off Titanic again. Bite me!) I own neither Roswell or Heroes from which I based James's collapse. Bolts of uncontrollable power is what happened to Liz in Roswell after what Max did to her. The outbursts are based upon Meredith when she lost control of her firepower after Sylar drugged her. That being said I DO own both complete series on DVD...&amp; Titanic lol)_


	18. Chapter 18

**(18) The Choice**

I had absolutely no idea what to say to that one. He had called me 'my love' which sent a thrill through me. I couldn't say anything, so I kissed him quickly.

"Hey," He grabbed my chin. "I know you can last longer than that."

Yeah I'm not sure who initiated that second much longer kiss, but at least I didn't have to talk. The fact that we had just agreed on a murder together went right over my head at the moment. He held my sides, keeping us tightly together. I suddenly was staring at the ceiling as I came from being pressed right against him. We stood silently, resting our foreheads together. "How are you shoulders, Pads?"

"They're fine."

I pushed him sideways to look at one. I could see red marks from where I had clung to him several hours ago. I had cut him! "Sirius, I hurt you."

He burst out laughing. "You've got a lot to learn my almost-virgin, as you put it."

"But Si...I made marks!"

"Pathetic ones at that," Sirius teased. "I've had better. Way better marks than that. It takes a lot to hurt me &amp; then, I'd probably enjoy it."

"How much?"

"A lot."

"I dare you to tell me how much it would take."

Sirius glared at me. If a Marauder doesn't take a dare, they could actually risk banishment. (He was already banished when I once dared him to go skinny dipping last summer.) I smirked at him. "I hate you," Sirius grumbled. "Fine. You've got to be violent with me. How do you think I survived all those rounds with Crucio, huh? By channelling that torture into a different venue."

I chocked &amp; gripped my stomach. Sad fact was, he seemed to actually mean it. "Forget I asked."

"No, I don't think I can."

"That's totally barbaric!"

"Hey," Sirius shrugged it off. "Whatever gets me through."

Only—ONLY!—Sirius! I crossed my arms, staring at the shower door. "Sirius, another dare."

"Oh boy," Sirius muttered.

"I want a truthful answer."

"Aww I hate this kind of dare." He pouted like a pathetic little puppy.

"If Orion had thrown you on the stairs instead of me," I started. I couldn't finish.

"He would have little effect on me."

"He was trying to punish you," I tried again.

"Yeah he likes seeing me hurt," Sirius huffed.

Everything clicked into place with that one simple line. "He can't hurt you, not directly at least."

"What are you talking about?"

"You like violent sex."

"So long as it's consensual. There are safe words to use," he said. "Jim, I did not like what he did to you. I hate what he did. It wasn't consensual."

"I know," I suddenly understood everything. "That's why he attacked me last summer &amp; why he made moves on me today. He knows it'll hurt you like nothing else can."

Sirius could hardly speak &amp; he took a long time answering in a broken voice as realisation sunk in. "I-it's possible. Yeah."

"Which means, he'll do it again &amp; again &amp; again," I now knew exactly why Orion was tormenting me. I was a weapon to him. A weapon against Sirius. "He'll never stop! I'm doomed."

Sirius put a hand on my cheek. "Not if he dies first. We find him &amp; then, we're going to kill him." At that, he burst out of the shower stall &amp; marched for the door. He left, letting the door bang behind him. I rolled my eyes. Why is my stupid Grim just so bloody stupid? I at least, had sense to get dressed.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Freakin' idiot.

Sirius came running back in &amp; snatched up his Royal blue silk pjs, got dressed, then tried all that again. I left first while he got dressed. Remus, Peter &amp; several others, at least four girls (thank God none of them were Lily!) stood staring at me. Remus held up his hands in a 'dude 'siriusly' what the freakin' hell was that' gesture as Peter snickered.

Sirius was soon right behind me. In French, Sirius said to Remus, "Like what you saw?" (Which earned him a glare that all but killed him.) Then Sirius cleared his throat. "Let's go." I ran a hand through my hair, shaking my head. Sirius marched down the short hall to the Portrait but I headed straight for Remus.

"Did you happen to notice something that maybe shouldn't have been seen?"

"Uh...let me think," Remus glared incredulously at me.

In a lower voiced I hissed, "The tattoo you idiot! Not THAT!"

"No &amp; I doubt anyone else would have noticed," Remus said. "Seeing as how we were all a bit preoccupied with his head &amp; no, I'm not talking about the one on his shoulders."

* * *

Harry buried his face in his hands. "Yeah. Ok. I have no comment for that one!"

He did however, plan to skip the next dark arts or two.

* * *

"Really? He has a head on his shoulders?" I raised one brow. "I never noticed."

"Prongs, what's going on in there?" Remus asked.

"Oh nothing," I blew out a breath, flipping my over-long bangs out of my eyes. "Daddy issues really."

"Daddy issues," Remus echoed.

"Yeah," I said. "Sorry. Gotta fly!" I turned &amp; smacked right into Professor McGonagall. Oh my God, my eyes! I'm tall enough so that I had just face-planted firmly into her breasts—

* * *

Harry clapped both hands over his face.

* * *

—breasts &amp; I'm so glad I wore glasses or else her nipples would have literally poked my eyes out.

* * *

"OH OH!" Harry turned away sobbing into his hands. "Oh fuck! That's nasty! Must you ruin every single class at Hogwarts Dad?"

Flitwick with the dancing. Remus, now McGonagall.

Harry doubled over, putting his face in his pillow, groaning.

* * *

"Sorry. Ma'am. Didn't see you!" I stepped backwards until I found a chair to plop into. Oh hell yeah, I saw everything, in a touching sort of way. Kill me now! McGonagall glared down her nose at me. (Although for an old lady, she had pretty firm breasts.)

* * *

"_**DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!"**_

"What?"

"Be grateful you're dead or I would kill you myself!"

"What?"

Harry glared at the album lying on the corner of his bed. He had an urge to kick it into the nearest fire. He muttered about McGonagall &amp; James burst out laughing. Harry glared at the album. "There is something horribly wrong with you!" James just laughed harder. Harry kicked the album off his bed &amp; it fell with a thud to the floor. "UGH!" Harry rubbed his head. "My brain is fried! 'Sirius-ly!'"

* * *

Remus growled low under breath. Sirius was right behind her.

"As of now," McGonagall began, taking her eyes off me at last. "Curfew is at 7 o'clock." There was an uproar. 5th Year students could usually be out until nine! "FOR ALL YEARS!" She went on.

"Outrageous!" Someone behind me complained.

"Prefects &amp; Aurors only are allowed outside the dormitories after hours," McGonagall added. "Must I remind you that we are at war now? This castle is over-run with Aurors. They are here for a reason!" She then looked at me. "Mr. Potter stay here. Your father is on his way to see you."

I met Sirius's gaze &amp; he rolled his eyes. There went our plans for murder tonight. McGonagall left &amp; I made some excuse to exit the common room as quickly as possible. I got on my bed &amp; pulled the curtains closed. I had a feeling Remus didn't believe me about 'daddy issues' but really, it was true. Only problem was, so much more was going on. Sirius belonged to Remus.

Didn't he?

My curtains swished open &amp; Sirius stood there looking at me. "Don't worry. We'll get him." He lay beside me.

"Padfoot, what are we doing?"

"Waiting for your Dad."

I felt his hand slide under my top as he petted my tummy &amp; ribs. "I mean this," I put one hand on his arm. "What about Moony?"

"He's fine," Sirius moved up further.

I loved his touch. So gentle, unlike Orion. "So you two mutts aren't getting together then?" I finally asked the main question.

"James," He pulled out of my shirt &amp; touched my cheek. "Out of everyone I've ever been with or ever will be, I only have two loves." I felt his lips brush against mine. "Moony's the other one."

"But he's a wolf," I pointed out. "Unlike us, he can't share once the marriage bonds are sealed."

"I know that," he began petting my hair. "How do you feel about Lily?"

"I don't know," I thought about her but things were cooled between us now. She had finally become my friend, but was there nothing more? Then I remembered her touching my legs under the table. Something I had always dreamed about. I used to imagine her doing that but going all the way up. True North. She knew everything about me except having Sirius for my boy—boyfri…wow. Ok, I can't believe I just wrote that. Yeah. Boyfriend. Or does that not count if we're not actually having sex? Technically we never did. We tried once, but it never happened. Does trying count?

"You miss loving her."

Wasn't even a question &amp; how true it was. "A bit. She was torn away from me."

"You want to pick up where you got left," Sirius put an arm across me. "Jim, I will never stop loving you. Or Remus. It'll be ok. Don't worry. It'll work out eventually." His hand suddenly ended up in my pants. He kissed me while rubbing me off. I knew if Prongs was free, he'd try to take over &amp; I found myself for the first time, liking the fact that I was cut off from my Spirit. It was nice to just lie there next to Sirius &amp; let him be in control.

I can't believe I just thought about Prongs like that! Oh well.

Sirius finished with me &amp; got off the bed. He wasn't a moment too soon either as my father entered our dorm just a second later. "Orion is gone back home," he said. Neither Sirius or I were happy about that. We wanted to kill him. "Sirius can you excuse us for a moment? I need to talk to Jim alone."

"Sure," Sirius cast a quick wink at me &amp; left.

Well...this was awkward. My Dad here while I was still feeling the after-effect of getting off. I tried to lie still &amp; look indifferent. Thank Merlin we didn't strip down! "How could you not tell me what happened?" He got right to the point. I just shrugged. "If anyone so much as looks at you in a way you don't like, your mother &amp; I ought to be the first to know!"

"Dad, I—"

"Don't you understand how your mother &amp; I would react if you died?" He cut me off. "Sirius told me. He said he saw it while he was held by that blasted house elf! Orion nearly killed you. But it didn't stop there, did it? A Tribal Summons? Are you insane? You're too young for Animagic! You're illegal! You don't know what you're doing. It isn't all about baying at a full moon! You ought to get rid of that Spirit! Oh ho ho but you weaseled your way out of that one quite nicely. You're illegal but guess what? So is the anti-magus potion! If I try to get one, we'll both get sent off to Azkaban. I can't believe Sirius suggested that. Shows that you don't know what you're doing. Murdering your Spirit? You are bloody insane! There are other ways to re-Merge without killing each other! But after what I've seen today, I've never seen a wound so bad as what I just witnessed! You'll be lucky to survive this Jim! I have half a mind to get an anti-magus potion to spare you but I can't live with the knowledge that you'll live the rest of your life in Azkaban in a cell right next to me."

"We KNOW it destroys Spirits! Sirius can make the potion as a last res—."

"What part of illegal do you not understand?" Dad glared at me. "I won't accept anything from him. It'll cause more trouble than it's worth. So I have no choice but to heal that Spirit."

"You can do that, right?"

"I have a few foreign herbs to get," Dad crossed his arms, still glaring at me. He shouted at me &amp; his voice was rising higher. "I've had to order something from the American continent to sort you out! Oh! You STUPID boy! Have you any brains at all? What is wrong with you?"

He was not only yelling at me, but also insulting me. Neither of my parents had ever done that in my entire life. It was unnatural &amp; unnerving! "Dee sa lay," I couldn't believe it. My own father made me cry. That has never happened before.

"What?"

"French for sorry."

"Sorry? James Charlus! How many times have you nearly died this year? Don't tell me you're sorry!"

I put my hands over my face &amp; pushed up through my fringe. I had never expected to be yelled at &amp; I wasn't taking it well. "What else can I say?"

"Nothing," Dad said. "There are no words to cover for your arrogance. Your foolishness. Attempting Animagic at fourteen. FOURTEEN JIM!" I flinched at his bellow. "You do know that if those Merges weren't accepted you would all be dead?"

"But Re—"

"I don't care!" Dad interrupted me again. "There are other ways of helping young Lycans without putting yourself in unnecessary danger! Playing with him in human form. Taking care of his injuries AFTER full moon. Fine. But Animagic?" He bent over me so that we were nearly nose to nose. If possible, his voice grew ever louder. "THAT SHOULDN'T EVEN BE IN YOUR VOCABULARY AT THAT AGE!"

"Dad, stop!" I tried to wiggle away from him. "You're scaring me!" I had never seen him so mad in my life...&amp; his fury was directed at me.

Then, he raised his hand as if to swipe me across the face. I couldn't believe it. I was going to be hit by my own father? Never had that happened before. I winced, closing my eyes, waiting for the blow. "I really ought to smack some sense into you!" I bit my lip. Just get it done already! Orion had back-handed me to. Dad huffed before going on. "Oh stop whimpering. You're nearly 17! Anyway, I'm not going to hit you. But by Merlin, I should!"

I glared at him through tears. "Orion back-handed me to, before grabbing me."

We shared a silent look. I could see that what I said either frightened him or made him feel guilty that he had just put me in a similar position. Good! Either way, good! "Why didn't you use your Stag against Orion?"

"He's a professional werewolf hunter," I said. "Protect our werewolf. Code of the Marauders."

"Marauders?" Dad glared.

"It's just what we four call ourselves," I shrugged.

He went to the window &amp; stared out for a few minutes. Then he stomped his right foot more than once while growling," Damnation! DAMNATION!"

"D-Dad?" I winced again. I have never seen him so mad in all my life. He suddenly turned back to me.

"You four brats...are the damn Marauders?" Dad was suddenly twice as angry. "Boy if you didn't just explain Orion to me I really would smack you right now! Do you know how many people are working on catching the arses responsible for this fabled Marauders gang for a couple of years now? HUH? YOU IN A GANG? JAMES CHARLUS POTTER! MY GOD! I really should send you to Azkaban. FOR LIFE!"

"We don't...hurt anyone."

"I don't think you should be a ...Marauder...any more."

"Whatever!"

"Don't sass me!" Dad ordered.

"If Remus dies—"

"I appreciate the amount of caring you put into that pup," Dad smiled for once. "The Lupins are good friends of ours. I worked with John Lyall often enough at the Ministry Of Magic. It's tragic what happened to that family. Fenrir breaking into the nursery &amp; not only infecting Remus at four years old but also killing his twin."

* * *

"…Whoa...a twin?"

* * *

"Fenrir is a monster. Remus is not!"

"That's because he didn't go wild," Dad sighed. "His parents kept him. Usually, the child is left with the wolf pack if something like that happens. It's a first time that the human family kept the infected one. What Dumbledore…not you or your other two friends...Dumbledore, is doing for Remus will pave the way for other Lycans who aren't so wild. Who knows? Maybe someday Remus can get an Auror's license, then he can reunite with you &amp; Sirius."

"I hope so. But Dumbledore is only helping Remus politically. We actually take care of him. Feed him treats. Milk out his venom every season &amp; stay with him on full moons so he wont try to eat at himself."

"Oh for God's sake! He's a boy, a young man with a horrible disease...a disease that can be contagious with a single bite must I remind you?! He's not a bloody pet!"

* * *

"Ohh I beg to differ on that one, Grandpa," Harry smiled to himself. Even now, Harry had caught himself on more than one occasion thinking of Professor Lupin as the inherited pet fleabag, as James himself would call him. The effects of the Marauders pampering the wolf was still visible now. Actually, he was bloody spoiled, particularly with chocolate.

* * *

Dad shook his head &amp; rolled his eyes. "Animagic. You idiot! Unbelievable. Remus sure is one lucky pup!"

"Yeah, he is."

"Well, what's done is done," He sighed heavily. "I just wish you had come to me straight away. You could have spared yourself nearly a year's worth of misery."

"That's a nice conversation for Sunday dinner!" I snapped, wiping my eyes. "Mum. Dad, how's it going? I was just raped &amp; my Spirit's trying to kill me. Oh yeah. I'm an illegal Animagus! Do you have any idea how I'M feeling about this? I don't want to talk about it with anyone but Sirius. He saw it happen! He understands. You don't!"

"You're right, Char," He was finally speaking softly but using my middle nickname really pissed me off for some reason. It used to be for when I was a kid &amp; for some sweet thing, like Christmas or something. "I don't understand what you could be feeling right now. Not as much as Sirius. But I understand your Spirit much better than you."

"That's likely."

"I have nearly a century's experience with Animagic," Dad suddenly surprised me right then &amp; there. He transformed! OHMERLINIHAVEANANIMAGUSFATHER?!

The tiny ruby throated humming bird flew around me like a living Snitch. I caught him &amp; then let him perch on my finger. "This. Is. So. WEIRD!"

The hummingbird, bobbed his head as if laughing at me, then flew off to the side. My father stood before me once more. "Unlike you, I'm registered."

"When did you learn to do that?"

"Titanic," Dad shrugged. "I never wanted to go through that kind of horror again. So I signed up for Aerial Animagic—you DO know what that is?"

"Yes," I glared. I'm not that stupid. You can't choose what animal you'll be but you can choose what class so you won't end up quite literally a fish out of water. There is Aerial, Aquatic &amp; Geo (I've also read something about Stellar as well but I'm sure that's a myth...unless Tribbles are part of the equa...wait a minute. REMUS! Mangy mutt! Grr! Yep, definitely a myth!).

"Good," Dad glared. "Anyway, if something like the Titanic ever happened to me again, I could just fly away."

"Wow," I gasped, staring at him. "What's your Tribe?"

"Naturally of course, I found a Tribe that lived by water, by the sea," Dad said. 'The Haida Tribe along the west coast of North America. She's about a thousand years ago. A chief's daughter named Nadia."

"Have you ever done a Summons?"

"Twice."

"Whoa!"

"So you see, I understand your Spirit just fine. I can fix him. I may be a different Tribe but all Natives use the same sort of medicines from Earth." Dad surveyed me for a long time before going on, "I'm glad you're...well, you seem to be getting along well after what Orion did."

"What makes you say that? Prongs is trying to kill me."

"I'm talking about Sirius, not ...uh...Prongs."

My heart definitely stopped. "Sirius?"

"Please," Dad rolled his eyes. "The way he looks at you. Hiding hand-holding under cloaks." Oh murd murd MURD! "Now you lying there, shirt &amp; pants all askew. I saw Sirius just leaving your bed as I came in."

Tabrenack! Are you kid...are you KIDDING me? I tried to look anywhere but at him. "We're not really doing anything," I tried. Technically true anyway. "He's just keeping me safe."

"Good," Dad turned to leave. "Good night."

"Wait!" I sat up so fast my back cracked. "OW!" I stretched to crack it back into place. "Wait. No one knows. Don't tell anyone. About Sirius &amp; I."

He smiled widely at me. "Not really doing anything, eh?" With that he left. For lack of something better to do, I hurled the nearest pillow at the door. He opened the door a crack. "Should I expect a wedding invitation soon?"

"I HATE YOU!" I launched for the door. Dad literally flew downstairs &amp; I ran after him. When I reached the common room, I found him talking to Peter &amp; Lily. I sat down on the couch as he turned to me. I was going to say something or other, but Remus suddenly sat on me &amp; pushed me into a lying position as there was no one around at the moment who didn't know what he was. He whined, licking one side of his chops. "What do you want, Moony?" I wasn't in the mood to play. He licked my nose. "Here!" I held up a piece of chocolate I had pulled out of one of his ever-full pockets. "Go on!" My fingers slid right into his mouth as he took it. I could feel his sharp fangs. He made himself perfectly comfortable on top of me, while he munched on it. I petted his head, then glared at Dad. "Oh he is SO a pet!" Dad closed his eyes for a moment before marching out the Portrait.

"So what did he say?" Remus asked the moment he finished his chocolate. He was still lying on top of me.

"Uh well," I stammered. I didn't plan on this moment popping up so soon. "I—it's really. Moony, I won't be with you this full moon."

"What? Why?" Remus pushed himself up so that he was sitting across my legs.

"My first training on Auror patrol," I said. "I'll be in Hogsmeade."

"Auror," Remus hung his head. He would have given all the chocolate in the world to be like me &amp; Sirius. "Ah well, I should have known something like this would happen since you were accepted into Auror classes." He looked over at Sirius. "Will you be there?"

"Yeah &amp; Wormtail."

"I'll probably hear you in the Shrieking Shack," I offered. "I'll be close by."

"Maybe I'll come bark at you," Remus teased as he stood up.

"Sure," I forced a laugh. I hope not! I can't change. He would kill me. I pulled my legs in so that I was curled up on one side of the couch.

Peter sat down in the free spot, Philip on his lap. "I feel like we're going in separate ways," he said as he stroked the platypus's head. "Two of us Aurors. Maybe someday a third."

"Oh are you going to sign up?" I asked eagerly, sitting up to rub a webbed foot.

"I mean him," Peter jerked his head in Moony's direction. "I'm trying to be a Healer."

"You are horrible at potions," Sirius laughed.

"Yeah," Peter flipped Philip over so we could rub his tummy. "I'm doing one on one lessons with Slughorn. I'm actually quite good alone when I don't have the entire class staring at me &amp; laughing, especially if they're Slytherins."

"I'm helping him to," Lily handed over some parchments with notes scribbled on them. "Practise those before your next class on Monday."

"Alright," Peter took them. "Thanks." Lily went to the table in the alcove with a tall window casting the last rays of daylight over it &amp; was soon engrossed with homework, oblivious to anything else.

"So Moony, why are your parents here?" I finally managed to ask.

"They're gone now," Remus answered. "They are on their way to Finland to study some poltergeists found in an ancient cemetery recently unearthed. Also, we're not going back to France for a while. There was a clash of Death Eaters in the area where we live &amp; two witches that went to Beauxbatons died. Maybe later when the war stops or moves elsewhere, we'll go back."

"That's horrible!" Peter exclaimed.

"Where will your family live then?" I asked. "You lot can put up at my place. It's a 24-bedroom mansion. There's plenty of room."

Remus actually laughed. _"Mercy (Thanks)._ But we're not THAT poor. Mama's originally from Cardiff remember? We're going back there to her old cottage."

"Alright," I gave up. "I wish we could all just be a pack again like before."

"Someday," said Remus. "When this war's finished. It can't last too long, can it?"

"I hope not."

Sirius came to stand by my head &amp; tapped my brow. (Sort of, but I could feel tiny strokes while in front of Moony. Merlin's sake, Sirius is slick at times!) "There is one thing that's kept this pack together &amp; we've gone nearly a year without it."

"What's that?" Remus asked.

"Well granted," Sirius cast him a look. "You're not into it as much. But Jim &amp; I have managed to knock a few jinxes on Snivellus."

While it was true that I did have a few fights with him throughout the past year, it wasn't the same. Before, I had a will to fight back. He would jinx my bag or trip up my friends, I'd counter him before he could blink. Now though, it was mostly to get away since I had other things on my mind. I hadn't even found him worth mentioning in this journal before now. At least, Lily didn't get wind of it any more. "A few," I agreed. "Not much."

"Guys," Remus moaned. "Maybe that's why Jim's been so lethargic lately."

I froze. Dear Merlin, did he know? "What do you mean?"

"I thought maybe it had something to do with all the extra work you're doing for becoming an Auror," Remus shrugged. "You've forgotten how to live outside of exams."

I've forgotten how to live. Period. "Yeah. So a good fight with him would perk me up."

"I didn't say that," Remus defended. "Don't go looking for trouble. Please!"

"I won't start any fights," I muttered. "But I will finish them if given a chance."

"'Course you will," Remus grumbled. He picked up a new chocolate bar that literally had his named written on the wrapper in eloquent golden writing, opened it &amp; snapped off a piece.

"Let's deal with that after the full moon," I went on. "Not right now."

Chocolate half way to his partly open mouth, Remus gaped at me. Peter's eyebrows shot up into his bangs while Sirius turned away from everyone to send me a glare. Remus dropped the chocolate piece &amp; Philip scuttled forward to promptly eat it in one swallow. "Jim, are you feeling ok?" Remus asked me. I shrugged.

"It's his first Auror mission," Sirius rolled his eyes at me as he made up yet another cover story. "He's all nerves right now."

"Never thought I'd see the day when Jim would refuse a good excuse to have a fight with—" Remus suddenly looked down for his chocolate piece. "OY YOU MANGY AUSSIE RAT!"

Philip was grunting &amp; nearly crying as he fled for the Portrait. "Moony!" I sighed. "You scared him!"

"He stole my chocolate!"

"It was on the floor," I said. "Besides, you've got more of it."

"Something's wrong with him," Sirius's eyes were looking towards the Portrait. He couldn't see Philip too well in the dimness of the little hall, but we could all hear his pitiful cries. Sirius went to get him. We heard thudding, yelling, swearing in various languages &amp; growling. (Platypodes can growl like puppies.) Sirius came back nursing a bloody finger where Philip had apparently scratched him. "He's desperate to get out of the Portrait."

"Frank's upstairs though," I sat up. "Philip? Come back!"

"Hmm," Remus sniffed long &amp; hard on the other half of the chocolate bar. "I don't think he will. This thing's packed with love potion."

"WHAT?!" Peter, Sirius &amp; I yelped.

I glanced down the hall. "Are you telling me ..."

"We have a very horny platypus on our hands ... " Remus finished. "A male one at that. I hope his booties hold."

"Aww great!" I slapped myself on the forehead. "What bitch sent you that?"

"Jim!" Remus glared gold at me. "There are no bitches here. I'm the only wolf."

"You KNOW what I mean!" I huffed irritably.

* * *

Harry curled up laughing silently. "Ok THAT one was rather good!" He didn't know what was funnier. That or the platypus.

* * *

"I'm pretty sure it's from Edwina Clarisse," Remus put the love potion chocolate into the fire where it sizzled loudly. "She's Slytherin to." He didn't look happy about the idea of a lady from the snake pit trying to seduce him. If he got caught down there being both impure in blood as well as being a werewolf, he was dead.

"Well, there's only one way to do this," I raised my wand. "Stupefy!" There was a pitiful grunt &amp; Philip was finally knocked out. We took him to the hospital wing &amp; left him in the holding tank that Madam Pomfrey had for him for such an occasion.

The next day passed too quickly for me &amp; all too soon, I found myself for the first time watching the others duck into the passage under the Whomping Willow without me. I headed down the road to Hogsmeade with my partner, Jacob McCloud of Ravenclaw. I made it a point to take first watch on the side where the Shrieking Shack was. It was an easy post to get as all but the Marauders &amp; Dumbledore knew what really went on there. Jacob was more than relieved when I offered to take that side.

All too soon I heard the first screams as I stood near the fence. It went on for nearly fifteen minutes. He was missing me. I wanted to abandon my post &amp; go to him but it would mean my death since Prongs was locked down. Frustrated, I kicked the dismal fence surrounding the property of the Shack. Was this how Sirius felt when we abandoned him for a few months? Not that he didn't deserve it, but still, not being there holding Moony's hand just felt wrong. Not being paired with Sirius on Auror patrol was also wrong.

I never felt more alone then in that moment, shut out from the rest of the pack, paired with someone I barely knew. In that moment, I knew what my choice would be if I was ever faced with such a decision.

Remus, not Auror.


	19. Chapter 19

**(19) In The Moonlight**

I drifted along the High Street of Hogsmeade towards the center of town. Jacob would meet me there. We were supposed to go back &amp; forth completely, but I used his fear of the Shack against him &amp; so I would turn back every time. I knew they were long gone by now, deep into the forest...without me.

Most of the shops were closed as night wore on, but the Hog's Head pub was open 24/7 &amp; I ducked in around midnight to grab two butterbeers. When next I met Jacob at the center, I handed one over.

"Thanks," Jacob said. "I was just going to ask if I could take that side for a bit just to grab one. It's cold out!"

"At least it isn't snowing," I opened my can. "Or windy."

We stood in silence for a few moments, drinking up &amp; letting the warmth spread. "I heard them."

"Heard what?" I pulled my wand out, thinking about Death Eaters.

"Those vile spirits in the Shack," Jacob went on. "They screamed tonight."

I turned away, pretending to look towards the Shack. "Yeah well, nothing we can do about that." I put my wand away.

"How come you're not afraid of it?" Jacob asked. "Everyone else is."

"Dumbledore doesn't care, why should I?"

"Dumbledore has a lot more experience than we do," Jacob pointed out.

Yeah well, in this case he was wrong. While Dumbledore knew about the pooch, he didn't know that the three of us were Animagi. No one did apart from the Marauders, Lily &amp; my Dad. "Exactly. Which means he has that Shack all boarded up. Let them scream. They can't get out."

"Probably why they're mad," Jacob said before finishing his butterbeer.

A bolt of electric blue shot between us, narrowly missing us both. We dropped our cans &amp; pulled out our wands in an instant. Two more spells came our way from a small alley to our right. We dodged barely in time. I sent a white ball of Light down the alley. It illuminated five cloaked figures.

"Death Eaters!"

"Five of them? Here now?" I ran forward, ducking behind a carriage used to take Second Years &amp; older up to the school. The five figures ran away. "They're getting away." I charged after them.

"Are you mad?"

"Are you an Auror or aren't you?" I shot back as I entered the alley. Jacob followed behind me. I seethed inwardly. If I was with my Grim, those five Death Eaters would be down by now.

I caught one with a Stunner while Jacob sent a bolt of power to another one that lifted the Death Eater up &amp; threw him down the full length of the alley. Ok, not a bad shot. The other three disappeared. Jacob was hit in the shoulder by a spell that caused several cuts on him by the one he had thrown. He soon had lassoed the Death Eater &amp; dragged him back to our feet. I tossed him next to the one that was still unconscious, then used bolts of power to tie them up &amp; took their wands. I stunned the second one.

"Let's get the others," I was already running in the direction they disappeared. Jacob either had to come with me or not. I wasn't waiting.

We corned the other three against a high fence next to a house. The ensuing fight lasted several minutes. Jacob &amp; I were pushed back a bit but we held out; though, not without receiving several injuries. Most were from unblocked spells, but Jacob actually fell over a stone behind him &amp; twisted his ankle. He continued firing spells from the ground. At least he continued to fight. Maybe he's not such a bad Auror in the making after all. We finally knocked out the three of them in a combined spell that blasted a pit in the hard-packed snow between them. A quick Incarserous had them tied up.

"Now what?" Jacob asked.

I was now stuck with a decision. Face it, I'm the better fighter. I should be after fending off a werewolf for six years. I had to be the one to watch over our captors in case some one else showed up. I hated it but, I decided to lend my precious broom to Jacob. "It's inside the door of the Hog's Head so it won't feel cold. Fly to the castle. Bring Dumbledore here."

"Ok," Jacob made to leave.

"Jacob?"

"Yeah?"

"One scratch! You die! You have been warned!"

He laughed nervously as he left. Using a levitation spell, I hauled the three unconscious victims back down the alley &amp; dropped them next to the other two. I waited alone in the cold bright night under the light of the full moon. I marched back &amp; forth along that alley to keep warm &amp; watch for more attackers. Often, I'd check the five unconscious ones to make sure they were still under. They all wore black cloaks &amp; silver masks but there was something odd about all of them that I couldn't quite figure out. I was half wondering if I should bother to remove a mask to see if I could recognise one, when I heard a very familiar distant wolf howl. I stood up sharply. "Padfoot, he's too close! Get back!" It wasn't his fault. Moony was probably looking high &amp; low for me. Still, it was very strange having a fear of that howl. I couldn't change. He'd kill me. I stood at the far end of the alley &amp; looked towards the Forbidden Forest, having quite forgotten my five hostages though I will never admit that fact openly to anyone!

"Mr. Potter?"

I whirled around &amp; sent three different spells in quick succession. Two struck but the tallest wizard blocked me. I blinked. That was Dumbledore! McGonagall &amp; Slughorn were both on the ground, groaning.

"Nice shots, Potter," Dumbledore smiled at me.

"Five points from Gryffindor," Slughorn moaned as he sat up.

"Albus is right," McGonagall said. "Excellent spell work. Take ten points. Per spell!" Slughorn merely rolled his eyes.

"Jim!" Jacob stared horrified at me. "What on Earth did you do? Attacking teachers like that?"

"Sorry," I shrugged. "I thought maybe more Death Eaters had shown up. Better to be safe than sorry."

"Excellent point, m'boy," Slughorn agreed. "We can never be too safe. I'm just glad you don't shoot to kill."

"Nah, I keep my phaser on stun." What the hell? I can't believe I just stupidly said that. "Wand...I uh...wa...never mind!"

"Ah, nothing like a good Trek episode now &amp; then," Dumbledore said as he turned to the five Death Eaters. I just stared at him. "Now, let's get these five to the castle, shall we?"

As the three Professors took care of our captives, Jacob &amp; I were relieved by a full Auror, the same one that stood next to my father by the door when Mum announced the war. Moody sent us back to Hogwarts in the carriage as he &amp; some one else took over Hogsmeade for the rest of the night.

During the ride, I inspected my broom from handle to tail, all the while half-listening to Jacob's assurances that it was fine. I'll be the judge of that. This thing is a Lamborghini, the fastest &amp; most expensive broom in the world...&amp; here you idiots think they just make cars. The one that started the company is a pureblood wizard.

* * *

"Wow, I need to look into that one!"

* * *

To Jacob's relief, I deemed the broom fine as we got out at the door of the castle. We both went to the hospital wing to get our cuts taken care of. Jacob had to stay the rest of the night for his shoulder so I went to Gryffindor's tower alone.

I stepped into the boys' washroom for a good hot shower to warm up. It was then that I saw them in the mirror along the sinks. I tilted my head sideways a bit to be sure. I saw four tiny lines of silver.

My 17th birthday isn't for over a month from now...yet I'm bloody going grey already! I couldn't believe or understand it. I stared at them as if looking would will them to turn back to dark brown. I ended up finding a fifth one! "Accio, grey hairs." I held out my free hand, feeling several quick tugs on my scalp. I closed my hand around several of them. I counted them—seven—then folded them up in a piece of tissue &amp; went to my bed but didn't lie down. I stared at the full moon slowly making its way across the starry path. I went to Sirius's bed instead &amp; put the covered hairs on the nightstand before trying to get some sleep.

I fell asleep late &amp; some bozo (Sirius) woke me up early. So. Yeah. This day is starting out nicely &amp; I'm not even out of bed yet. Unfortunately, I was unable to complain since he was snogging me senseless. I smacked him over the head. "How's the Lunar monstrosity?"

"In his private room in the hospital wing," Sirius finally sat on the edge so I could sit up. "I noticed you had an interesting time last night."

"What do you mean?"

"There are five students with various degrees of spell damage lying in the hospital wing," Sirius explained. "The worst one's Snivellus."

Ah. Not Death Eaters. Well, not yet anyway, considering. I knew there was something odd there. Five of them in Hogsmeade when I just happen to be there &amp; the sizes of them weren't quite adult yet. Not to mention the way they just ran away like cowards. I knew they looked different! "Good," I said. "That takes care of Snivellus for a while. What were those idiots doing?"

"They're all from Slytherin," Sirius shrugged. "I guess they figured they could take on two Aurors since you're only training."

"I took out McGonagall &amp; Slughorn to," I added.

"Yeah I heard about that!" Sirius smiled. "Always keep your phaser on stun, eh?"

"Oh shut up!" Sirius merely laughed so hard, he toppled off the bed. "Hey!" I yelled at him to get his attention. "Got something to show you." I grabbed the folded tissue paper &amp; opened it. "Look. Seven of them."

"What?" Sirius was more interested in rubbing his hip on which he landed. I shoved the thing under his nose. "Some hairs. You making Polyjuice Po—OW!"

I just smacked him upside the head. "No. They're grey hairs I pulled off myself last night. GREY! Sirius. I'm not even 17 yet!"

"So what? Remus pulled his first out when he was 5 he said."

"He's a Moon Dog!" I glared. "I'm not! I'm too young for grey hairs. Why is this happening?"

"Well I don't know!" Sirius whined, more interested in nursing his bumped hip. "You have some Celtic in your or something? There's a legend about them going grey early!"

"Then that means you would have some since we're related," I pointed out.

He finally stopped babying himself &amp; sat on the bed again. "You know another thing that causes premature grey is stress right? You've had one hell of a year." He took the tissue out of my hands &amp; put it back on the nightstand. "That being said, you do know that if you rip one out, two more take its place, right? So you'll get fourteen next ti—OW! Will you stop hitting me?"

I stared at the ceiling for a few minutes. "I can't believe what he did to me! To actually go grey over it!"

Sirius lay beside me, putting one arm around me. "Maybe you won't get any more until you're older. Those could have been just for this year. You're doing better now." I merely scoffed as I pushed back the leather strap exposing the two scars. "Jim that was ages ago. You never tried that again."

He didn't know about the cutting. "I heard Moony howling last night," I changed the subject. "You got a little close without me helping you."

"He was looking high &amp; low for you," Sirius nuzzled into the side of my neck. "He's asking for you even now which is why I'm up here looking for you."

"I've missed enough of the full moon," I crawled over him to get out of bed. "I'm not missing any more. Never again!"

We headed down to the hospital wing &amp; passed five beds with curtains closed. Jacob was just leaving, rather put out that we had fought with Hogwarts students. As soon as he had left, Sirius &amp; I headed to the back door that led into Pomfrey's office &amp; across that to another door that opened into a long hall with six doors on each side. Twelve private rooms.

Remus was usually in the first one &amp; as soon as he saw me come in, he let out a mewling growl, happy to see me. Peter was feeding him chocolate while Sirius &amp; I each sat carefully on either side of the bed. Remus was looking a little sore, compliments of Padfoot beating him up to keep him out of Hogsmeade. With the pack complete again, Remus soon fell asleep for most of the day.

The next few days passed without much incident. It was strange having my mother hovering over me since the Aurors were still here. I didn't see much of my father since he was stationed mostly in Hogsmeade &amp; also, I think he was avoiding Mum. She had been wanting to know what the row with Orion Black was about &amp; of course, he couldn't tell her without having his powers broken. Sirius tried to glaze it over as best possible by blaming himself for it. Mum kept mother henning over both of us &amp; it was getting annoying! Sigh.

During the lunch break on Friday, the day the Aurors were leaving, our barn owl brought a letter to me. It was from my father &amp; he had received his order of whatever he needed to heal me. Sirius &amp; I were to meet him by the lake that evening after class. We brought Lily along.

"I assume you're Lily Evans?" Dad glanced over her, then glared at me. "So, I suppose you boys have an altar around here somewhere. Lead me to it."

We brought him deep into the Forbidden Forest. ('What part of Forbidden do you not understand?' Dad scolded.) The altar was set in a tiny clearing surrounded by thick old trees. Sirius went ahead to lower the protective boundaries so Lily &amp; Dad could get in.

Dad looked around the clearing, shaking his head. "Irresponsible! Never in all my life..." He continued to mutter angrily under breath until he saw the altar. He glared at it, studying the dried dark-colored patterns on either side. My own blood. "Idiots! Well what's done is done. James? Come here. Now, or so help me Merlin!"

"What are you going to do?" I didn't like how he was looking at the altar. I wasn't prepared for another Tribal Summons any time soon.

"I'm going to release that Stag," Dad said. "You'll probably have to fight with him a bit until the enchantment's over. Think you can do that?"

"I've had a break from him," I said. 'Probably."

"Then strip down &amp; get on here," he pointed at the altar.

Oh Merlin! Not again! "I want Sirius to do it." Sirius made a whining sound.

"He wouldn't know how."

"He's the one that carved Prongs into me last time!"

"We're not doing a Tribal Summons. Now will you get over here?"

"We're not?"

"No &amp; I don't want to hear of you—either of you—doing something so reckless again," Dad huffed impatiently. "Now hurry up! Not my problem you brought a girl."

"Oh she's seen it all already," I snickered. "OW!" Lily had thrown a rather large rock at my head. "Listen lady! You LITERALLY asked me to get out of the tub. It's YOUR fault!" Sirius had his face buried in one hand, trying to hide his laughter. Dad glared at me. Lily looked away &amp; I wondered if she was really looking for a bigger rock to hurl at me.

I lay down on the cold stone, this time staring up at the sky. I stuck my tongue out at Lily who really did glance down to the ground looking for another rock. "Oh grow up!" Lily complained.

"Yes, please do," Dad agreed. "I like her." He put his bag on the altar next to me &amp; began pulling stuff out.

"Be grateful you're a girl Lily, or I'd make a rude gesture right about now," I snickered.

"Oh yeah?" Lily raised one brow at me. "I can do that gesture twice at once. Beat that!"

I sat up &amp; pointed downwards along my body. "I can, seeing as how I'm a guy." Lily glared. Sirius doubled-over. Dad just clapped me hard on the forehead &amp; pushed me down so that I was lying flat on my back again, having no idea how it really happened.

"Jim, when did you learn to be so vulgar?" Dad tried to glare at me, but I could see he was desperately trying not to smirk.

"I'm a guy. It's instinct."

"Whatever," He shoved some green paste into my mouth. "Chew that."

Tabrenack! It tasted like hell! He smeared the rest of it over the barred tattoo. "It's called Skookum. A very powerful Native medicine. It can be used to heal the Spirit of an Animagus. You're supposed to eat some of it &amp; the rest covers the tattoo." He pulled out his wand. "I'm going to release him now. You'll have to convince him to accept your help. He'll most likely fight you. You have to re-Merge with him. Call him out as you did the first time."

Now I knew why my father was more on edge than usual. If I couldn't re-Merge, both I &amp; Swift Horn were dead. "Ok," I finally managed to swallow the vile stuff.

I was soon lifted in the air by his magic. Power bolts twisted around me as I began to call softly in Lakotan. Suddenly, my tattoo burned as if being touched by a brand &amp; I felt the rush of the Spirit surge through my body. Prongs was loose &amp; he was mad. There was a burst of Light above me, in the shape of a Stag. It didn't vanish but hovered over me. He was trying to pull out.

I repeated the call to Merge again twice over but I was becoming weaker with every passing moment. I soon realised, I was going to die. Prongs was too strong for me. I tried once more to call him but nearly passed out. Then I felt something at my head &amp; a shadow stretch out across me to touch the Stag of white Light.

"SIRIUS NO!" Dad screamed at him yet managed to keep his power focused on me.

Whatever happened next can only be described as a lightening bolt. I know it wasn't exactly that but it's just what it looked like. The over-surge of powers among three pureblood sorcerers caused the three of us to be literally connected in one moment of time. Dad was knocked backwards off his feet &amp; went crashing into Lily. Sirius &amp; I were attached by the surge before he doubled over &amp; fell back. The Stag of Light was gone &amp; I came crashing back onto the stone altar. Alive.

Lily helped my father off the ground. He was massaging his wand arm as he glanced between Sirius &amp; I a few times. Sirius held up his hand. Padfoot lay across his fingers, wagging her tail. It had been Padfoot that brought Prongs around to see reason. Padfoot made him re-Merge. Padfoot had just saved all our lives.

"I have never seen tattoos act like that," Dad gasped weakly.

"I told you," Sirius sighed. "We're a pack!"

Dad rubbed his forehead. "Never again. Never ever again! Do you boys understand me?"

"Yes, Sir," Sirius &amp; I said in one voice.

Dad glared at me while I got dressed. "No more Tribal Summons. You never should have gotten involved with something like this. Jim, come here."

"Now what?" I groused, staring at the ground.

"How does your Spirit feel right now?"

I focused on him. It was like Prongs was giving me the tail. He didn't respond in my mind when I focused on him. I merely felt the tattoo run across my shoulders. Apart from feeling like I was getting silent treatment, the Stag actually felt back to normal for the first time since this year started. "He's fine."

"Transform."

I did so. Prongs kept his head down as if to charge. He swung his head around to look at Sirius, then back the other way to look at Lily. He shook his head violently, making his ears flap about like a rabbit. Soon bored with the humans, Prongs looked past Sirius at the large tree behind him &amp; suddenly charged for it. Sirius barely stepped away in time. Horns collided with trunk as an incredible itch took over. Prongs began grating the antlers against the bark as strips of velvet began to fall. It hurt but it felt so good to. I had no intention of stopping until it was all off.

"It's amazing you learned this at fourteen," Dad came to stand nearby &amp; watch. Prongs stopped attacking the tree to glare at him. A long strip of velvet hung over his left eye, dripping blood onto my muzzle. Prongs whistled softly &amp; then began to rub the horns at another angle. "Can I talk to Jim now?"

Prongs glared again. Are you kidding me? My horns itch like Doxy powder! Go away, I'm BUSY!

"NOW!"

"What?" I began scratching my head. My hair was full of blood.

"Good," Dad nodded. "Looks like you have control of him again. I just wanted to see if you could stop him from breaking velvet."

"Oh," I didn't really care. "Can I go back to it now?" I started scratching my scalp with both hands. Once Prongs started on breaking the velvet, it would affect me even in human form.

"No," Dad grabbed my hands &amp; pulled them away from my bleeding head. "I want to put that beast on lockdown again."

"Why?" I yanked out of his grip &amp; went right back to scratching. "He's healed. He's fine! I can control him now."

"He may be healed enough for you to control him," Dad began. "But the both of you still have severe trauma to deal with. Until you pull through, I don't want you messing around with Animagic anymore."

"SIRIUS!" I looked imploringly at him.

"Sir let's give it a month or so," Sirius tried. "Just to see how well they're both getting along."

"I'd rather not," Dad began.

"I don't care!" I exclaimed. "Speaking of trauma, do you know how hard it was for me to putter around in Hogsmeade listening to MY pack run without me? I heard Remus screaming! I heard Moony's howls. He was looking for me everywhere. Enough's enough! You're not locking Prongs up!" I raised my wand. "I don't want to hurt you, but I will if I have to. I NEED Prongs! Deal with it!"

"You mind your tone of voice with me young man!"

"Make me!"

"JAMES!" That was Sirius. He stood between us. "Sir, he's had it rough. Leave him be. I'll watch him."

"Step aside Siri, or I'll lock you up as well!"

"You saw more than once how Padfoot handles Prongs!" Sirius bared his left shoulder to expose Padfoot currently sitting on it. "Please, let me work with him for a bit. If it doesn't work, I'll owl you."

"There is nothing to stop Orion from coming back to visit Regulus," Dad said. "What do you think that Stag will do if Orion shows up again?"

Kill him, is what I wanted to scream out. "I'll stay in the Tower, claiming illness."

"I'll get Dumbledore to bring you here right away if he does," Sirius added.

"Dad! I REALLY need to rub right now. If you two are quite finished?"

Dad let out a long-suffering sigh. "Fine! Go!"

Why hello, ya big old tree! How are you? Prongs promptly put his head down &amp; charged.

"Come on," I heard Sirius usher Dad &amp; Lily away. "He can take a few hours to clean them."

Prongs paused a moment to watch Dad &amp; Sirius leave, but Lily changed her mind &amp; sat down at the edge of the clearing to watch me. She held something out in her hand. "It's dried pineapple."

I can never say no to that one! Prongs trotted over &amp; took the entire strip in one bite. He shook his horns as the itch demanded attention, then promptly crashed into the tree nearest Lily. She moved away to avoid getting hit or trampled on.

It took nearly three hours to clean them. Lily had fallen asleep by the altar. As Prongs, I trotted back to her &amp; began nibbling at her clothes, hoping for more pineapple. Lily jerked awake &amp; sat up. "What? Oh, I only had one piece."

Prongs huffed at her &amp; then I took over. I lit my wand in the dark clearing. "Really, only one? Ridiculous. You KNOW how much that thing eats."

"Nearly as much as you," Lily teased. She stood up &amp; looked around. "How late is it anyway?"

"I'd say its past eleven by now."

"We are way past curfew!" Lily gasped. "We'll be in so much trouble!"

"You're with a Marauder," I said. "You'll be fine."

"James! We're in the middle of the Forbidden Forest &amp; you say it's nearing midnight!" Lily suddenly realised. "How are we ever going to get out of here?"

"Same way we got in," I shrugged.

"James!" Lily clung to my arm as some stupid animal howled in the distance. Emphasis on stupid &amp; distance. "Oh no. Oh no! What's that?"

"Probably a Gytrash."

"Oh ok, a Gytrash," Lily gulped. "What's a Gytrash?"

I don't blame her for not knowing. Most people think them a myth &amp; I've yet to meet a Dark Arts Professor who mentions them. But still, I'm a Marauder so I decided to have a bit of fun with the silly little girl.

* * *

"Dad!" Harry rolled his eyes.

"What?" Came the muffled sound of a picture in the closed album.

"What you did to Mum with the Gytrashes."

"Oh that!" The photo burst out laughing.

"How horrible can you be to her?"

"You'll be the same when you meet some girl."

"No I won't!" Harry swore to himself under breath.

* * *

"Big razor-toothed animal," I began. "Comes out at night to eat tails off smaller animals. If a human meets them, they'll see horrible things if they make eye-contact &amp; then they literally die of fright."

Lily shuddered beside me. "C-can they climb trees?" She glanced up as if planning to climb.

"Don't have to," I shrugged. "They can reach right up to the top. You're actually safer on the ground. You can roll into some small space they can't get in &amp; then just avoid their eyes."

The Gytrash howled again, much closer this time. "JAMES!" She finally flung herself into my arms, after all these years of waiting. "Get me out of here. Please!"

"We're too late," I went on. "That second howl means it's called its partner. We're in a pincer attack. Come on now. You're an Auror trainer. Surely you're not that scared?"

"I'm training to catch Dark Wizards!" Lily snarled. "Not fight unknown beasts in this godforsaken forest! You KNOW I've never liked this forest! So many horrible things in h—WHAT'S THAT?!"

There had been a flash of pale yellow light gliding along through the underbrush. A Gytrash had spotted us &amp; was trying to move in without being hurt. They were stupid things really. Spectral dogs that, similar to Hinkypunks, can be driven away easily with a well placed Lumos jammed up where the sun don't shine. My game was nearly up as the thing circled the clearing twice. I could hear it moving &amp; occasionally catch a glimpse of it against the dark cold night.

I had my wand light turned off by now &amp; the creature suddenly emerged from the tree line. I still had Lily in my arms so her back was towards it but she heard it snarl. "Oh alright Lily. It's just a stupid dog. Really." I tried to get her to turn around. She clung to my neck so hard she nearly snapped it. "Lily! I was just goofing off!"

The Gytrash snarled again. Lily whimpered &amp; turned to look at it, before quickly ducking her head to avoid eye-contact. She did a double-take before realising she was looking at a lank ugly dog made of pale yellow light. "Ohh! What do we do?"

I shook my head. "Lumos!" I held the beam high. The Gytrash yelped, tucked tail &amp; ran away.

Lily stared at the retreating form of Light, then she turned &amp; promptly punched my shoulder. "You idiot!"

I burst out laughing as I mocked her. "Oh James OH JAMES! Get me out of here! Aww, you gonna cry about it? Oh please get me out of here!" I fell on the ground laughing. "Razor-tooth! Sweet Merlin, Lily! When will you learn I lie like the devil?" I rolled around laughing.

She kicked me hard in the stomach. "I hate you!" She picked up her wand, shoving me over onto my other side as she did so. "You complete ARSE! James Potter! Lumos! Of all the stupid—Potter! Take me to the castle. NOW! Or else!" I just burst into a fresh wave of laughing tears.

"Oh man I can't breathe!" I was giggling like a school girl, still on the ground.

"Will you shut up?" Lily ordered. "In all seriousness though, how are we going to get out of here? It's so dark!"

I sat up, stretching. "Relax. I know this place like the back of my hand. What's that?" I inspected the back of my left hand &amp; pulled off a fat young bowtrickle that had attached itself to it. I threw it away. Lily glared at me. "What? It isn't technically part of my hand. Now, you have to put your wand light out. The Stag can see better in the dark without it." I stood up &amp; changed to Prongs, then knelt down on my front. Lily stared apprehensively at my back before getting on.

I tried not to bound too much with her on board. There were a few times I had to pick longer routes so she wouldn't get wiped off. At times, the path was brightly lit by the waning moon. We past a group of Centaurs who seemed surprised to see a human girl riding a large Stag but they didn't try to stop us. Getting out of the forest took nearly an hour &amp; then suddenly, we were by the Quidditch Pitch which was flooded in moonlight &amp; provided a stark bright contrast to the dark forest we just left. I brought Lily to the door &amp; let her off.

We went inside &amp; to the change rooms where a few spare brooms were kept. Two Gytrashes emerged literally out of the ground in the center of the Pitch but I ignored them. By the time they figured out how to attack, we'd be flying.

We flew up to the windows of the boys' dorms in Gryffindor tower. I eventually found the one I shared with the others just past the shining ray of the moon. Peter &amp; Remus were both there, reading some last minute homework before going to bed. I pounded on the window a few times.

Remus laid his parchment aside &amp; opened it. As he helped Lily in first he said, "Where the hell have you two been? Don't you know it's nearly one in the morning?"

"Sorry," I shrugged after climbing in. "My horns." I put both brooms under my bed to return them later.

"Sirius said you had an itch attack."

"I got rid of it all," I sighed, relieved that it was over.

"Really? I thought he was joking. It's a bit early for that."

I just shrugged. "I'll be good for a year now."

"We better get to the common room," Remus marched for the door. "Sirius is starting to have a fit with you taking so long!"

"Took you long enough!" Sirius jumped to his feet the moment Lily &amp; I stepped off the last stair.

"Sorry," I shrugged. "Gytrashes."

"Tuh!" Lily clicked her tongue &amp; marched to the armchair by the fire.

"What?" Sirius glanced at her.

"Nothing," I smiled meekly.

"I'm not speaking to you ever again, Potter!" Lily crossed her arms &amp; ankles. Uh oh!

Sirius smirked at me. I made a face, then wrapped my arms around myself &amp; cried. "Oh James OH JAMES! Get me out of—OUCH!" She had sent a power bolt right to my stomach that made me double over. My glasses fell off.

"Not even gonna ask!" Remus flung himself across the sofa as Peter sat down by the hearth. "Well now that we're altogether, I can finally say that there's something odd about the train."

"The train?" I stared at him.

"Hogwarts Express," Remus said sardonically. "You only ride it how many times a year?"

"What about it?" I muttered.

"Well you know it runs five times daily on weekends &amp; three times daily during school hours," Remus began. "It has twenty four cars. But now, it has only twenty three."

"So?"

"I've never seen it having anything other than twenty four cars," Remus said as if that helped. "I've looked it up to. I can't find any records of it having any other number of cars. It's always been twenty four."

"So maybe one's off for cleaning," I shrugged.

"No need for that," Remus said. "There are cleaners on it all the time, even when we're traveling to or from school. As for the outside, every time it swings around the north of Hogsmeade it passes through a cleaning charm anyway to take care of it. That happens three times a week."

"Maybe it broke down," I really couldn't care less if that train sprouted antlers for Christmas. HEY! Ooooo...Marauder's prank coming up!

"There are four spare replacement cars in Hogsmeade for that," Remus said. "I've gone to check. They're all still there. I'm telling you, a car's disappeared."

"How could that happen?" Sirius asked. "One simply does not lose a train car."

"What about steal one?"

"Who would do that?" Sirius said more exasperatedly than before.

"Who indeed!" Remus pressed his fingers together under his chin. "Who &amp; why?"

"Whatever," I shrugged. "I'm going to bed. Missing train cars aren't my problem right now. G'night!" I stood up &amp; left, avoiding Remus's glare.

* * *

_(AN: Ok I ripped off some lines out of Homeward Bound &amp; Lord Of The Rings. Bite me. LOL)_


	20. Chapter 20

**(20) Never Let Go**

Well now, I haven't seen this stack of ramblings for a few weeks. Part of me is starting to wonder if I should burn it now, yet something is holding me back. I'm thinking of destroying it on the date this all started but we'll see.

I'm still making scratches, though not as often as before. Lily caught me twice more &amp; is rather mad at me. But hey, she's always mad at me. She still hasn't forgiven me for the Gytrashes but probably because us four guys (for I went &amp; told them eventually) tease her about it any chance we get!

For the past couple of full moons, our pack has been complete as before. Swift Horn &amp; I are nearly back to normal with each other. Both of us share the same desire to destroy what had torn us apart but at the moment, there is nothing either of us can do about it. He no longer tries to rip out of me &amp; I hardly lose control of him. Occasionally, I'll feel my antlers cropping up in which case I duck under cloak until I can get rid of them, but it isn't as bad as it used to be.

As for Auror training, Sirius &amp; I have been paired up more often than not, which was fine by me. We are often watching over Hogsmeade or even Dufftown. The training is becoming more intense &amp; now we have a full Auror watching us but incognito. Sirius &amp; I never know if we'll have a quiet patrol or come 'under attack' by random Aurors testing us to see how well we react.

After a month of having them jump out at us, Sirius &amp; I were like, the hell with it. Those Aurors are going down! We've come up with a plan to use our Spirits to find out ahead of time who in the town is the spy Auror &amp; we take them out before they have a chance to move! Our next patrol is in two days in Dufftown so we have time to plan ahead!

For now, the winter cold has turned into the damp of late March with occasional clear days. It's about time to! I'm so tired of hearing about how many cars the train now has (Remus still insists it has only twenty three while the last time I counted, it did have twenty four) &amp; with the clear weather, hopefully Remus will lose interest in the stupid train &amp; get back to his other hobby. Racing his unicorn.

Yeah, you heard. He has a unicorn even though he's a guy AND a wolf! During 5th Year Care Of Magical Creatures, one lesson was on unicorns. The girls naturally got higher marks. Us guys couldn't do much since unicorns are stupid sexist beasts not worthy of our time &amp; as for Remus, we all wondered why he even showed up. The entire band of horned horses were skittish with that Dark Creature around. All of them, except one. A young black filly with gold trimmings (mane, horn, hooves, tail). She ended up not allowing anyone but Remus near her. We are amazed that she trotted to him, looking for treats. None of us expected Remus to do something so stupid as to jump on her back, but he did. Instead of getting thrown to kingdom come though, he ended up riding her far out over the grounds.

Did I mention racing? Oh yeah! That was my fault. See, I went bounding after him, feeling certain that the beast would kill him. We ended up racing so far out that Hogwarts appeared like a tiny castle on a chess board. Remus has been hooked on racing ever since &amp; we actually built a track in the Forbidden Forest for him to ride around with Prongs trying to keep up.

For the past week, Remus has been sneaking off to the track, often dragging us along. As soon as most of the snow was melted, we had spent a day clearing it &amp; packing it down. When I say we, that means Sirius, Peter...sometimes Lily…&amp; I. Remus was off in the barns re-bonding with 'Paree' as he calls her. Paris in French. I really need to learn how to spell 'en Françoise' ...ok, that's horrible. I know. In French, anyway. The Sunday morning before Sirius &amp; I were to go on our next training patrol in Dufftown, Remus finally deemed the track fit for riding on it, then pointedly looked at me.

"Mmm Prongs is too fat &amp; lazy for this!" I moaned.

"Oh &amp; Paree isn't?" Remus glared. "She's been inactive all winter. Come on. It won't be that bad."

"Carrot?" I held one out to her. She neighed &amp; swung her hind legs around, attempting to kick me. I jumped back several steps as Remus smacked her muzzle &amp; chastised her in French. "Stupid thing."

"Jim, be nice."

"Who me?" I started eating the carrot.

"Just get to the starting line," Remus mounted up &amp; trotted off.

"Why can't Sirius do this?" I whined, grabbing my broom to follow along. I propped it by a tree in the center of the large oval track &amp; walked out towards him.

"Not big enough or fast enough," Remus barely grabbed her mane in time as she side-stepped away from me. "Change James! You're pissing her off."

"I'm pissed off!" I groused before changing to Prongs. Paree immediately settled down.

Remus glared amber at me. "I don't expect either of you to go that fast for the first time. As you say, you're both rather useless during the winter." Prongs is the only Stag in the universe that knows how to growl. "Oh shut up! You said it yourself. Anyway, I just want to go around the track once. Easy pace." Prongs hung his head &amp; heaved a heavy sigh. "Why are you worried? You haven't beaten her yet anyway. So really, you don't have to try that hard." I heard him snicker &amp; promptly swung my head around to bite his leg. "OUCH!" He kicked my muzzle before I could blink. Damn his werewolf reflexes. "That was on my Lycan mark! You know it hurts twice as much there if you bite it again!" (Hence why I bit him there. DUH! Fenrir's signature is shaped like a crescent moon going through the four holes where his fangs sunk in.) "Conas (Basically, he called me an arse or idiot in a more vulgar way.)!" He then counted down from three in French before kicking the horned mare into gear. Paree was soon far ahead of me.

Prongs lopped along, not rightly caring. Then I suddenly had a bright idea. I'll beat that son of a wand alright! I crashed through the section of forest left standing in the center &amp; came out far ahead of him, bounded around the curve &amp; cut across the edge of center's trees to get back to the line. I waited for several minutes but couldn't hear the thudding of racing hooves.

Eventually, Paree walked up to me. Remus was shaking his head. "Cheater! That isn't how it works, you know! So it doesn't count." Prongs grinned widely. "Maybe I should use Sirius..." Prongs nodded his head vigorously. His antlers struck against the horn of the unicorn. "WHOA!" Remus wrapped his arms around the neck as Paree reared up. Uh oh! Now I had no choice but to run. I was being challenged by a unicorn. I fled down the track, Paree close behind. "Stop! Prongs, I'm going to murder you! Paree! STOP!"

I crashed through the center once more, but this time I stayed in the midst of the trees, forcing Paree to slow down. Remus soon jumped down &amp; tied her up. But then he was the one coming after me. Prongs backed away so fast he sat down on his thick, fluffy triangular tail, grinning nervously.

"What is wrong with you?" Remus thumped his fist in the middle of my head between the antlers.

I changed back. "Sorry," I didn't really mean it. Honestly, I just wanted to nurse the bump Remus had just given me.

"Jim, I really need you to cooperate," Remus glared. "I'm trying to train her."

"She is trained!" I shot back. "You can ride her just fine in spite of yourself, being both a guy &amp; a mutt!"

"Yes but she isn't trained for an actual race."

"So?" I shrugged. "No one else cares about riding the unicorns. They mostly pull sleighs at Christmas. The rest of the year, they're just useless lawn decorations."

"You're not getting it," Remus groaned, rubbing his forehead. "Muggle folk can't see the horns. Unicorns are faster than a common horse. It's something I can do."

I stared at him. "Wait, you're not actually planning to put her in a real horse race?"

"Why not?" Remus shrugged. "I'd be guaranteed a win with her every time."

"Remus! You're INSANE!"

"No, I'm a Sorcerer that no one will accept since I'm a Lycan," Remus said. "But racing has nothing to do with either, happens during the day &amp; is worth a lot of money."

"What are the Marauders &amp; Lily then?" I grumbled. "We accept you to &amp; so does Dumbledore."

"I appreciate that just fine," said Remus. "But face it, we're nearly adults now but I can't be an Auror &amp; hardly anyone would want a werewolf around. My life can't be in the world of magic. I'm leaving." I gaped at him. "Don't worry, I'm not going to lose contact with my pack or Lily. But as far as magical careers are concerned, I'm not allowed thanks to Fenrir. Horse-racing on the other hand..."

I could only stare open-mouth at him for a full minute. "You're telling me this...NOW?"

Remus just shrugged. "Once my 7th Year of Hogwarts is done, there is nothing for me here. I came to learn to control my own magic. I've done that &amp; much more. I found a pack! I have a few academic courses I want to do for 7th Year. Stuff similar to what Papa does so I can help him out at times. But that's about as far as I can go. You know it's true."

"Moony," I grabbed him in my arms &amp; held him. "We're all breaking up."

"_Non, non,"_ Remus laughed as he said no. "We can still have full moons. Don't worry! I expect all three of you to come to the tracks. I could get you in for free &amp; then maybe you guys can even bet on Paree!"

"Will do!" I said. "Bet on that!" We both laughed before I added, "You know, it's something you could actually do. Ride a horse around a track, bring home the winnings. You wouldn't have to worry too much."

"Well, I have a problem," Remus said slowly. "See, there's this moron standing in my way."

"I'll make sure you'll make it to an actual track," I said. "What's wrong? Oh, I know. You're wondering how to get Paree out of Hogwarts. Talk to Dumbledore."

"Already did," Remus said. "He says she's as good as mine. But you're the moron! Refusing to help me train."

"Oh!" Grr. We're back to that. "Oh alright! Let's try this again."

"Excellent!" Remus pulled Paree back to the line &amp; got on.

Leaving. I couldn't believe what he told me that day! I couldn't imagine a wizard with his kind of power, turning his back on this secret other-world we shared, but I knew it was really all he could do. Fenrir had destroyed his chances at a magical pursuit when Remus was four years old. It's amazing he got this far. I stand by what I said. We are breaking up. I know Remus promised us we'd still share full moons &amp; get free entry into the racing tracks, but something told me that all this was nearing its end. I wondered if it would end with Remus walking off these grounds for the last time, leading Paree away on her lead line, leaving.

"Hey I'm talking to you!" Sirius snapped his fingers in my face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I leaned back against the wall of the building, a muggle clothing shop that was currently closed. "Tired. Raced Paree all day."

"You were supposed to go around only once," Sirius pointed out. "Didn't you tell Remus you'd be on patrol tonight?"

"No, slipped my mind," I answered. It didn't but after what Remus had told me, I was desperate to help him &amp; Paree train as much as possible. We had ended up staying by our track all day, doing runs after short breaks. I don't know if Remus told anyone else about his plans yet so I didn't tell Sirius what he had said. Sirius! If Remus left, would he &amp; Sirius ever even get together? By now, I don't think so. Even if I wasn't with Sirius, I didn't think they would now.

For that matter, I wondered if Sirius &amp; I were still together. He hadn't touched me in any way for over a month. No stolen kiss. No secret hand holding under the cloaks. No private showers. We were back to a common shower that any of the guys could walk into. It was like we had all gone back to being friends. I found I didn't like that. I missed Sirius in a way a friend would not, but he was never really mine, was he?

Don't get me wrong, I trust him with my life. I'd die for him &amp; I knew that if Orion ever came back into my life, Sirius would be on my side. But that was it. I felt as if things had cooled between us &amp; I had no idea how to, or even if I should, warm up again even though I desperately wanted to.

"Well as slippery as your mind is, you still have to stay awake tonight to patrol with me," Sirius said. "I think I know who our spy is but until you snap out of it, I can't really check."

"Sorry," I stood straight. "What do you want me to do?"

Sirius began describing to me in French what we were going to do, just in case our Auror could hear us. We were going to use our Spirits to root him out. Illegal Spirits. Also I think planning to attack an Auror is illegal to even if we are just messing around...but tell someone who cares. Sirius pointed to an open bar down the street. A muggle one &amp; actually, I think it's a stripper club. If this was a year ago, Sirius would probably have taken an aging potion &amp; gone in it. Now, he didn't even bat an eyelash at it which was weird.

There was one really drunk man sitting lopsided on the bench outside the door with a muggle newspaper in his hand. Sirius had been keeping an eye on him but the man seemed to never change &amp; was always there. We were beginning to wonder if he was just feigning being drunk really just to watch over us. Sirius &amp; I turned away &amp; ducked into a dark alley. We did several spell checks to make sure no one was there &amp; I even tried Accio on any Invisibility Cloaks. Nothing.

Sirius went between a large bin &amp; the wall of a building &amp; emerged as Padfoot. He barked at me as he trotted past. I waited for a few minutes so as not to appear as if I had seen the dog &amp; then followed.

Padfoot ran down the street &amp; crossed over to the bench, then stretched back on the forelegs, tailing curling over haunches. The drunk started &amp; was suddenly on his feet, hand inside jacket. Yep. That's our dear Auror. The Grim whined &amp; began frisking the man with his nose, including right up the legs. It made him twitch &amp; I turned away laughing.

"Get away," The Auror pushed Padfoot off. "Get away. Dear Merlin! The Grim? Here! Go! Leave me alone!" (On seeing the Grim, one usually dies twenty four hours later. News flash. Grim's got to be in a cemetery so right now, consider it ...off duty shall we say? Besides, Padfoot's not the real one anyway.) Padfoot barked &amp; ran away.

"You might want to keep your wand in," I teased as I passed. The Auror stared at me. "I noticed you reaching for it when that dog came looking for scraps. So you're the Auror on guard with us, right?"

He glared at me. "You can't know that!" He couldn't believe that I, a 6th Year Hogwarts trainee Auror (aka … brat) could pick him out. He was supposed to be a professional.

"Well I uh," I cleared my throat dramatically. "Do." I left him scratching his head in bewilderment.

After that one, Sirius &amp; I made it our habit to root out the spy Auror. It probably hurt their egos being sniffed out by 'a couple o' brats' as they were starting to refer to us, but we don't care. So long as they didn't figure it out, we thought it rather amusing. Sirius was becoming bolder &amp; began going to our posts a day early as Padfoot &amp; eavesdropping on the conversations of actual Aurors. We were soon picking them out before they even started their shifts. It was miserably unfair...for them!

After six different Aurors inside of two weeks, they were getting desperate. The next one, they split us up. The Auror with Sirius ended up being groped by a big black dog while my Auror thought he saw a pretty Stag. Pretty? Are you kidding me? Handsome is a better word! Now, the Aurors banded together against us. Padfoot overheard a snippet of conversation that apparently our next shift would be handled by one of the most elite Aurors known. Ooo scared now! Not.

Sirius &amp; I were in the Marauder's 'conference room' as we call it. It's a triangular room buried deep inside a lost section of Hogwarts. The entrance to it is behind a tapestry near the Slytherin door.

"They didn't mention names this time," Sirius complained.

"Maybe they think one of them is giving us information," I said. "I'm up for a challenge."

Sirius just grunted. "At least they put us back together."

"Back together?"

"Yeah, we're on the same team again."

That wasn't how I meant it at all. "Oh yeah." I hesitated, wondering if I should ask in a way that I would get my answer, then wondered if I would get the answer I wanted &amp; ended up being afraid I wouldn't, so I said nothing at all.

Sirius sent me a quick smile which made me hot &amp; cold at the same time. "They'll never figure it out."

"I hope not," I said. "Anyway, we'll have to make sure to find him when no one else is around then since we're in a muggle town."

"It'll be hard to do," said Sirius as he sat up straight. "I notice they're giving us the odd towns with mostly muggle folk. We hardly ever get Hogsmeade &amp; I think it's because there have been more Death Eater sightings there."

"Oh you noticed it to?" I muttered. "They need to start putting us out there on the front lines now. We're not kids any more."

"I think they will soon," said Sirius. "I think that's why these Aurors are allowed to challenge us. Teach us to stay on guard. Like we don't know that already, but anyway."

"You think after this, we'll actually start facing real Death Eaters?"

"Exactly," Sirius stood up. "We should go or else we'll be late."

He changed to Padfoot &amp; ran down the hall to the tapestry, leaving me behind. I watched him for a moment. "...Sirius..." I half-heartedly called him but he was too far ahead now to hear me. I think my heart broke for the billionth time in that moment. I officially considered myself single again. Just as quickly as it had started between us, it had suddenly come to an abrupt end. I walked the length of the hall.

Sirius was sitting with his back against one wall, legs stretched across the hall, waiting for me. "Gees Hornhead! Took you long enough! We're going to be late if you keep lagging." He jumped up &amp; cut us out before I had time to say anything or blame him for my slowness.

When we were finally on our patrol, I tried to keep my distance from him, covering the side exactly opposite. I was no longer interested in harassing our over-head Auror &amp; I didn't even bother to double-check people I passed. Remus leaving. Peter probably to once he became a Healer ...if ever. Now I lost Sirius. I have never felt more alone or confused as what to do (Should I even bother pursuing an Auror career?) as I did that night. I barely paid attention to my surroundings until well past midnight. I stepped into an all-hour coffee shop to grab a hot drink near two in the morning which was when our shift ended. The moment I came out, my life changed.

"JAMES!" I heard Sirius scream. "RUN!" He whizzed past. Laughing? Now what? "It's Alastor Moody! RUN!"

"MOODY?" I dropped my drink &amp; took off after Sirius. Alastor Moody. Oh yeah, the very elite indeed. I knew he wouldn't take it easy on us so I fled like a hunted rabbit. A hand came out from behind a car &amp; yanked me down. Sirius covered my yelp with both hands.

"He's mad!"

"How mad?"

"So mad that I think he'll be called Mad-Eye Moody from now on!"

I smothered a laugh. One of that man's eyes was missing &amp; replaced with a magical sphere that could see through...wait...uh…see through everyth— "Sirius? We gotta run!" I fled the scene with Sirius close behind.

Sure enough, Moody was hot on our heels. "You brats! I'll figure out how you're doing it! GET BACK HERE!"

We dodged, jumped, changed direction but all the while, Moody seemed to get ever closer. We didn't dare change since that eye could see through anything (some say even Invisibility Cloaks) &amp; the last thing we wanted was to be arrested for illegal Animagic!

In a few minutes, Moody gave up, but not before giving us both a few painful hexes for good measure. "You're lucky it's two! Get out of here! I'll see you at Hogwarts!" He turned aside to meet with two full Aurors who had just arrived &amp; promptly began complaining to them.

Sirius &amp; I were stampeding in the opposite direction &amp; were soon on the country roads outside the town. Sirius ran through a yard to cut the curve in the road &amp; turned so sharply around the corner of a fence he nearly fell over. I crashed into him. We both burst out laughing.

"Did you see his face?" Sirius gasped for air.

"We're going to be in so much trouble!" I doubled over.

"I know!" Sirius led the way down the road, putting as much distance between us &amp; Moody as possible. "Grumpy ol' codger! He deserved it."

"Oh yeah," I agreed. "He's almost as grumpy as Argus Filch!"

"Filch is definitely worse though," Sirius pointed out, pausing by a car parked on the side of the road. "Ooo, this is a beauty!"

I read the words on the back. "It's a Cadillac. SIRIUS!" He had opened the driver's door. "What are you doing?"

"Relax, I just want to see what it's like in a car," he got in &amp; pointed at the back seat. "Get in. I opened both of them." He closed his door as I shook my head.

I got in. "I hope the owners are fast asleep." I stared at the house set back behind two great oak trees. So far, its windows were black.

"Oh relax," Sirius ran his hands over the dashboard. "This is so more complex than a motorbike."

"Not really," I folded my arms over the top of the front seats. "Dad has a Ministry car. It isn't much different but it can get to the front of the line easily."

"Yeah but this is without magic," Sirius sighed. "Ah Jim. I was born in the wrong world."

Feeling horribly reminded of what Remus said about leaving this world, I gritted my teeth for a moment. "You're learning about muggles just fine."

"I guess," He promptly poked the horn &amp; I nervously glanced at the house but it remained dark. "Where to, Mister?"

I stared at him, then leaned forward. "To the stars! Like what you're trying to get your bike to do."

"Alright," Sirius made as if to honk the horn again. Fearing he'd wake up the whole street, I grabbed him &amp; hauled him into the back seat. He flipped over headfirst.

"You're such a dork!" I had to help him sit into the seat next to me, hard to do since we were both killing ourselves laughing. We finally got his head in the right direction &amp; fell back on the seat...not to mention in each other's arms. Oh Merlin help! I tried to pass it off as part of the fall...but he didn't let go. I found myself lost in those pale grey eyes.

Holding me with one arm, he took my hand in his own, holding them up between us. "I figured you'd need a break, after ya know, seeing Orion again. It kind of unhinged you for a bit. Then there was your Spirit stuff going on so I thought I'd wait a bit."

I just stared at him. All this time, I thought we were through &amp; hating it. I wanted to be mad at him but really, it was a nice thought &amp; all that what with especially Orion popping back in my life. "Oh," I closed my eyes. Don't cry again! It's been a while. I'm due for sure! "Um thanks."

We sat in silence like that for a few minutes. "You nervous?" He suddenly asked.

I looked at him, realising what he was asking. "No," I whispered softly, leaning my head on his shoulder. I pulled our clasped hands to my lips kissing his fingertips, then looked up at him again. "Put your hands on me, Padfoot." I put his hand to my chest over my left peck close to where my heart was.

He pulled us close together, kissing me long &amp; deep. I felt ourselves going down to lie across the back seat. MERLINISTHISISREALLYHAPPENING?!

I have never known such bliss as I felt in that car. It was unlike anything I've ever experienced. Unlike with Orion, this time it didn't hurt. This time, I was wanting it desperately. Wherever his vileness had injured, Sirius healed with his gentle touch. Whatever unnatural fears he had caused in me, Sirius washed away with his caring.

I could sense that we were both nearing the end &amp; it was driving me crazy like a wild fire. With one hand on the window, I pushed myself closer if possible to him. We were both wet &amp; out of breath as we lay there. He kissed me &amp; pushed back my bangs stuck to my forehead.

"You're trembling," I managed to say between breaths, putting one hand on his face.

"Don't worry," He laughed. "I'll be alright." He put his head down on my damp shoulder.

I couldn't believe what just happened. I had often wondered if I would ever allow something like this to happen to me again, especially with another guy after what Orion did to me. I stroked Sirius's soaking hair, holding him close to me.

After a few moments, he raised himself up on me, putting his hands on my chest. He quickly smiled at me, then his eyes flicked up to the window. "OH MURD! WE GOTTA MOVE!"

"W-what?" I whimpered. This couldn't possibly be ending like this now!

"The Aurors!" Sirius sat up &amp; I felt us separate as he hurriedly got dressed. "They're in the other yard!"

Tabernack! "WHAT?" I don't think I ever got dressed so fast. Sirius &amp; I slipped out the car as quietly as we could &amp; ran for the bushes barely in time.

Two Aurors found the car. We had stupidly left the door open. They looked inside, then closed the door &amp; glared around. Sirius grabbed my hand &amp; took me by side-along apparition to the gates of Hogsmeade. Still holding my hand, we ran down the High Street, laughing.

"Did you see their faces?" I sobbed through tears of laughter.

"What idiots!" Sirius doubled over. He pulled me to him. "Sorry for cutting our time short." I tried to shrug it off &amp; ended up kissing him.

The spell hit my back &amp; I knew no more.

* * *

_(AN: WHAT? Yes! I ripped off Titanic! No I don't care! Bite me!)_


	21. Chapter 21

**(21) Leo's Fire**

The voice came from some distance. Someone was calling my name. I felt as if I had been run over by the Hogwarts Express. I just wanted to sleep.

"...Jim...Come on. Jim...wake up."

I didn't want to. It was nice just being half-passed out. "Go away."

"Jim!"

Tabrenack! I opened my eyes. Everything was fuzzy. "Who'der?"

A flash of red came into the haze. "Jim, you've been out since they brought you here. Get up."

I sighed long &amp; slow. "Where's here &amp; where are my glasses?"

The red flash disappeared a moment &amp; then shoved something in my hands. "I took them off while you were sleeping, in case you rolled over &amp; broke them."

"Thanks," I put the glasses on &amp; sat up. "Lily? Where's Sirius?"

"Sirius?" Lily stared at me. "He's not here. I never saw him anyway. But Frank &amp; Alice are."

"Where are we?"

"I don't know," Lily said. "But we're with ...with...we're not in friendly territory."

I glanced around. It looked like a basement cellar. "Death Eaters?"

Lily nodded. "Frank &amp; Alice were on patrol near London &amp; came under attack five to one. They were here with me at first but it's been a while since I've seen them."

"How'd you get here?"

"I was near Dufftown with Cheryl Lynn," Lily said. She took a while before adding, "Cheryl's dead."

I watched Lily for a moment. Cheryl had been a good friend of hers from Hufflepuff. "This war's getting bad. It's really been going on since just before we all started school, but everyone kept insisting it was just a group of rebels who would soon be dealt with."

"They were fools!" Lily sniffled a little. "Voldemort's one of the most powerful wizards in the world besides Dumbledore. Didn't the world of magic learn its lesson when Grindelwald was running around?"

"Guess not," I shrugged, glancing at the door. I felt around for my wand-sheath but it was gone.

"What I can't get is how we all got taken, no matter where we were," Lily went on. "I've heard talk of maybe having a traitor among us. Like maybe one of our own is betraying us."

"Swift Horn!" I whispered to myself. He had said something similar. Maybe I wasn't going to get myself killed after all by going after Orion. But who on Earth wants to kill me besides the obvious Death Eaters &amp; Slytherin House? One of my own, Swift Horn had said. Not from somewhere outside.

"What?"

"Nothing," I stood up to stretch my back. "Spirit stuff. It's ok."

Lily shot to her feet. "Jim, can you use Prongs to get us out of here?"

"Not out of this room," I looked at the door again. "Maybe when they bring us top side, if they do."

"I'm sure they will," Lily said. "They took up Frank &amp; Alice."

"Ok, do you know anyone here?" I asked. "Any familiar faces?"

"Of Death Eaters?" Lily shook her head. "No, they're all wearing those horrid masks."

"Alright," I sat down on a bench by the wall. "Let me think a minute. We have to figure out where Alice &amp; Frank are to rescue them to."

Lily let out a soft moan. "Jim, it's been too long! What if they're d-d...?"

"We'll work with the premise that they're not," I cut her off. "No one's dead unless we see them dead for ourselves!"

Lily sat down beside me &amp; shivered. It was a bit damp down here. "Ok, let's hope. She can't be dead right now. Oh Jim! Alice is pregnant!"

I stared at her, having absolutely no idea how to comment on something usually a woman's problem. "Um ...wow. That's...er...nice."

"It's why they were going to get married fast," Lily went on.

"How come she isn't fat then?"

Lily smacked me. "She's not that far along &amp; anyway there are charms to conceal such a predicament."

"Are there?"

Lily shook her head. "You're such a jerk. Anyway, no one was supposed to know."

"Oh I guess I'll have to swear on my magic now."

"Oh forget I said anything!"

"Oh come on, Lily-kins," I smirked at her. "I'm a Marauder! I'm the epitome of secret."

* * *

"Lily-kins, are you kidding me?" Harry shook his head.

* * *

"Whatever," Lily complained.

We heard the lock on the door click. Lily &amp; I shared a horrified look, then I dived for the side of the door so I wouldn't be seen right away when our visitor entered. I got ready to jump on whoever it would be. A man walked right past me, heading for Lily. He wasn't wearing the Death Eater's uniform, but a great black fur cape hung from his shoulders. For a split second, I thought of Sirius, then wondered why I did. Then with his back towards me, the man spoke. I knew that voice all to well.

"So," Orion faced Lily who glared at him defiantly. "You're the muggleborn witch Sirius hangs out with."

"So what if I am?" Lily glared, hating him almost as much as I did. I was frozen to the wall. No wand. No Sirius. Lily was with me, sure, but she was wandless as well. Plus she was a girl &amp; smaller than even me. What Orion had done to me last summer would definitely kill her &amp; her blood status being what she was, he would make sure she died. But I was frozen in place.

"I could make an example of you to show Sirius he's on the losing side," Orion began. I saw him move. Maybe he was reaching for her. I don't know, but I finally got my brain to work with my body.

"Like you tried with me?" I snarled stepping out.

Orion snapped around in surprise. Our eyes met once more. I could feel myself shaking &amp; hoped he didn't notice. "No one told me you were here." Orion smiled. "Well well, this is a pleasant surprise." I didn't miss the emphasis on the word pleasant. Orion flicked up an eyebrow at me as he went on. "All five of Dumbledore's new favourite young Aurors. Right here."

"So what?" I took another step, trying to keep some space between us as I edged around to Lily.

"I was just visiting," Orion went on conversationally. "Your two friends upstairs in the parlour are in a right state. They won't talk. I came down here to get this pretty maid to use her to get them to talk, but it's not needed now. We have you. I'm here for Sirius really. He'll do anything to make sure his best friend is safe."

"Sirius is here?" I felt my heart thudding in my Adam's apple.

"Yeah," Orion let his eyes roam over me. Not again! Please! "He's being held in the master bedroom, waiting for me." In a quick movement, his hand gripped my chin so hard it's amazing my lower jaw didn't crack. I felt my Stag coming on as Orion closed the distance between us. "It'll be very, uh, stimulating to work with you again." My hair started to rise a little.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily jumped to her feet.

Still gripping my face, Orion cast her a sinister look. "Oh &amp; what's a wandless mudblood girl like yourself going to do about it?"

"Don't call her that!" I swung one foot at him, hitting his shins.

Orion grunted with pain, his fingers gripping ever tighter on my chin. With his other hand, he raised his wand &amp; slammed the door closed by power alone, then pointed it at Lily. She went rigid &amp; was pressed up against the back wall. Then Orion focused on me, still holding Lily in place by some unknown hex. "Boy, when will you learn your manners?"

"Last time I checked," I tried to pull out of his grasp. "Mudblood isn't a civilised word. You're the one who needs manners!"

Orion threw me backwards into the wall. I seemed to hit on the same spot my back was struck with whatever curse that had put me out in Hogsmeade. I fell to my knees as pain flared up from that spot. Orion swung his foot, kicking me across the face. I landed on my side, spitting out blood from a cracked lower lip. "If you don't associate with them, you wouldn't have to use the words!" He grabbed my hair, fortunately between some points poking through &amp; yanked me to my knees once more.

"You're vile &amp; pathetic!" I shot back, finally understanding why Sirius would constantly say things that upset his father. It was because they were true, but worse, it was the only thing one could do. His power was too strong, his physical strength was too brutal. Hurling insults was the only way to fight back. Still holding me by the hair, we glared into each other's eyes. I suddenly added, "And I'll be damned before I let you touch Lily!"

"Then welcome to hell!" Orion shoved me back against the wall. I tried to stand. "On your knees!" Orion used his wand to force me down.

I glared up at him. "Tabrenack you! That's the Canadienne version for the F-word!" I smirked.

"So be it!" Orion grabbed his belt buckle &amp; pulled it open. "I'll wipe that grin off your face!"

/Wait./

I felt Swift Horn stir inside me, but this time, neither of us felt fear. In fact, while Orion was removing his belt &amp; opening his trousers, I felt strangely calm. I looked up past the belt to the stomach. Soft. My hair rose a little more. "Now?" I barely whispered.

/Not yet./

Prongs took over inside my body. I switched from knees, to crouch &amp; had one foot on the wall, ready to launch. Orion put my hands on his hips. "Go on! You do it or you'll wish you had."

I suddenly understood what Prongs was waiting for. I smiled up at Orion. "Big mistake!" I yanked down both his trousers &amp; underwear, then promptly lowered my head &amp; charged.

The points hiding in my hair sunk into his stomach &amp; the strength of the Stag propelled both Orion &amp; myself across the room. We landed in a pile. I jumped up &amp; while Orion was alternately trying to figure out why he was bleeding from holes in his stomach &amp; also how to stand with his clothes twisted around his ankles, I grabbed his wand, freed Lily, then blasted the door open.

"Come on!" I fled upstairs with Lily close behind.

"CRUCIO!"

Lily &amp; I both fell to floor screaming. It was unlike any pain I had ever suffered before, worse than what Sirius did to me during training. The pain suddenly lifted. Lily &amp; I went flying into opposite walls &amp; pinned by power alone.

"Thought you could escape, did you?" Bellatrix said. "Nice try. Hello Jim. Nice to see you again."

"Not really," I muttered. "I'd rather not see an ugly hag like yourself anytime so—" I was suddenly screaming in pain again. She released me completely &amp; I went crashing to the floor. I lay quite still, feeling sore right down to the bone.

Bellatrix turned to Lily still pinned high on the wall. "So this is the little mudblood our beloved Sirius rejects us for." I tried to hex her, but she whirled around &amp; blocked me. Then she noticed what wand I had in my hand. "YOU DARE TAKE HIS WAND?" And I was screaming again. She picked up Orion's wand while I was under her torture.

"Let him go," Orion appeared in the doorframe, fully dressed &amp; holding a small towel to his stomach. It was oozing red. I never thought I'd be grateful for his voice &amp; that nearly made me sick. "I'll deal with him." He took his wand back. "Put the girl back in the basement."

"Orion, let me kill her," Bellatrix begged &amp; I felt a rising panic. They could very well kill Lily for her impure bloodline &amp; there would be nothing I could do about it. I looked up at her, trying to catch her eye in case it was our last time together, but she was glaring evilly at Orion Black. "She's just a mudblood."

"Normally, I'd agree," Orion said. "But she's also very close to Dumbledore &amp; may have information. If however, you can ever catch that Lupin kid, do with him as you please. You might find a surprise!"

Again, I was glad for Orion's help. Lily might be saved after all. I hated this! I didn't want to owe him anything. Bellatrix released her power bolt &amp; just like me, Lily came crashing to the floor. Bellatrix grabbed her long red hair &amp; yanked her forward. She ended up in Orion's arms. Orion disappeared with her for a moment &amp; I waited for the tell-tale screams of rape I had once cried. But he reappeared all too suddenly &amp; Lily remained silent but for a few choice words in two different languages most ladies don't say. Hmm, she's hanging out with us boys too much perhaps. He pointed his wand at me &amp; I felt bound by power.

"Let's get Sirius," Orion left the room &amp; Bellatrix had no choice but to follow.

I lay on my side, bound to the floor, wondering what Orion meant about a surprise. There was no way he could know about Remus being a werewolf, could he? We had all been so careful, hadn't we? Something told me otherwise. Somehow, some way. They knew.

Sirius suddenly landed on the floor beside me. He looked relieved to see me, yet frightened that I was here at all. "Je t'aime," He whispered softly &amp; I returned the greeting. Still in French he asked, "Did he touch you again?"

"Come here!" Orion pulled Sirius up to his feet.

I answered in French. "Not yet!" Then wished I hadn't for it seemed to worry Sirius.

"Now," Orion pointed his wand at Sirius &amp; he was pushed back to the wall &amp; bound to it. "Tell me what Dumbledore's planning."

"I don't know," Sirius shrugged. "And I don't care!"

"You will," Orion flicked his wand at me. I was suddenly on my back &amp; dragged by an unseen force into the center of the room with Sirius on my right &amp; large bay windows looking out into a bright dawn on my left. I suddenly felt something pinning one wrist down. Looking at my left, I saw a transparent spike of magic sticking out of it &amp; I was bleeding at the spot. I let out a scream that was part surprise but mostly pain as my right wrist also suddenly flared in agony. He had crucified me to the floor! Both spikes burned as if they had been passed through fire first.

"Stop it! What are you doing?" Sirius tried to wrench himself free but his hands were behind his back against the wall.

I gritted my teeth against the constant thrums of pain spreading out from my wrists to run up my arms. I forced myself to look at Sirius. "I'm alright." It made him madder.

Sirius banged the back of his head against the wall in frustration. "I swear if I ever get my hands on you, Dad!"

"That's why they're conveniently bound at the moment," Orion pointed out. He sat down on the sofa so that both of us were in his vision. "Now, there's been whispers of an army Dumbledore is building. You two are going to tell me about it."

"Dumbledore doesn't tell us stuff like that," I managed to say, focusing on a spot on the ceiling while ignoring as best possible the nails of magic burning in me.

"Oh I think he's mentioned something," Orion disagreed. "There's something about a Phoenix."

"That's Fawkes!" Sirius &amp; I both retorted. Irritated at Orion's stupidity, I flexed my hands only to be brutally reminded that I'm a living crucifix. My back curved off the floor as I screamed until that wave of pain had fully washed over me.

* * *

Harry put the writings aside &amp; opened his album to the cat scratched James. He lifted the picture from the page &amp; put the album aside.

"What?" James glared. "Come to laugh at me? Not my fault the cat's stupid!"

"You told me that your other encounters with Orion Black weren't as bad as your first one!" Harry didn't mean to sound quite as harsh as he did, but it had come out in a rather accusing tone.

"No, they weren't," James tossed his napkin aside, exposing the scratches.

"Can you..." Harry looked away for a moment.

"What's wrong?"

"Can you show me your scars again? On your left wrist."

James pulled down the leather strap &amp; held his arm up. "Harry, I got out of it enough to move on. I was fine until whoever betrayed me got Peter, me &amp; your mother killed."

"I'm...I think...I'm starting to believe you," Harry hesitated before going on. "About Sirius I mean."

"That's good!" James lowered his arm. "Any idea who really screwed us all over?"

"None," Harry sighed. "Your scars again." James glared. "Please?" James did so. "Now, remove your hand. There's a round one there, isn't there?"

"Yeah but I didn't do it," James exposed a round Knut-sized scar.

"You have one on each don't you?" Harry asked. James nodded. "How can you say it wasn't as bad as the first time? He crucified you to the floor!"

"Ah," James rolled his shoulders, buying time. "Well ... _merde (shit)! _You're up to that part, are you? I had actually forgotten about writing it in. If I had to choose between that &amp; the first time, I'd pick up a cross any day, Harry." Photo-father &amp; blood-son fell silent for several moments. James suddenly went on. "Harry I have no idea why I left that thing out. If not for Sirius's predicament out there where you are, I'd say burn it for me right now. If you're at my...uh, crucifixion, you're nearly done."

"I noticed," Harry glanced at the binder. "I'm almost at the end."

"Where'd you find that thing anyway?"

"Behind the brick wall," Harry answered. "On the table of what you call the Marauder's conference room."

"Brick wall? You mean when you cut the tapestry &amp; it turns into a passage?"

"Past that," Harry explained the halls behind Slytherin's tapestry.

"Harry," James looked sideways at the frame for a moment. "Honey there's no...no brick wall that far in."

"Yes there is," Harry insisted. "It's just like Platform 9 &amp; three quarters. You can go right through."

"No, no, there's no wall. It's all open."

"I'll show you," Harry pocketed the picture before James could protest. He buried the album &amp; memoirs in his trunk, grabbed the cloak &amp; ran to the tapestry. After quickly checking around to see that he was alone, Harry cut himself in &amp; fled down the center hall until he stopped just before the brick wall. He pulled out the picture &amp; lit his wand. "See? I told you! Beyond that is your conference room."

"Harry, I have never seen that wall before in my life, photography or death!" James looked at it. "My God! What did I do?"

"Why, is more like it," Harry stepped through the brick wall into the triangular room. "Your journal was right there. You can still see the shiny spot where it sat for so many years on the table."

"Harry I don't know how or why," James suddenly went on. "But I just know your answer about Sirius is in there. You've got to save him but," James hesitated. "but can you do me a favour? If ...if you're too late...don't tell me. I may be just a photo, but I carry the echo of every memory upto the date this was taken. It would destroy me if something happened to Sirius. Don't tell me."

"I won't," Harry put the picture back in his pocket &amp; returned to the memoirs. So, no brick wall before now. Where did it come from?

* * *

"I know about Fawkes," Orion smiled at my discomfort. "No. No, no. This is something way bigger than an actual Phoenix. Some sort of army or something."

"Well duh, we're at war!" I shot back. Orion flicked his wand. The spikes turned orange &amp; I was lost to a world of pain once more. I dimly heard Sirius screaming at Orion to spare me.

"There we are," Orion was patting my cheek. "Back in the living world, I see."

"A world I intend to kick you out of!" I snarled at him. Orion put a hand around my throat &amp; squeezed my Adam's apple until I choked. He let go.

"Please stop!" Sirius was nearly beside himself. "Don't hurt him any more! We don't know anything! What else can I do?"

"What would you do to spare Jim?"

Sirius glared at Orion. He suddenly broke down. "Anything ... Dad! Please! Anything. I'll quit being an Auror. Leave Hogwarts! Whatever you want. I'll become a Death Eater if I have to, but please s—"

* * *

"Oh yeah! Great! JUST when I was starting to believe you!"

"_I am no Death Eater!" Sirius seethed in a low dangerous voice._

Harry growled in frustration.

* * *

"Sirius! No!" I cut him off.

"I can't stand seeing you in pain Jim!" He gasped between tears.

"It's...not so bad," I knew he didn't believe me &amp; I don't blame him. My body was shivering from cold shock as I bled out slowly but surely &amp; agonising seizures often assailed me. I focused on my spot on the ceiling again.

"Ohhh," Orion suddenly realised something. "Well now, what a turn of events." He kept muttering to himself, smiling as he walked around my cross-bound form. "Yes, very useful indeed. Well now," He looked at Sirius. "My dear boy. About time you start picking up purebloods! Decided to have your way with Jim just like I did eh?"

"IT WAS NOTHING LIKE YOU!" Sirius &amp; I roared at him.

Orion laughed, pressing the toe of his right boot up along between my legs. "That con...firms...it. You're in love!"

I continued to stare at the ceiling as Orion walked away from me &amp; berated Sirius by praising him for finally being with a pureblood. Love however, was the last thing I was feeling. Right now, no one &amp; no thing existed but my pure raw hate from hell itself for that man. I focused on it, allowed it to feed my life-force. I had to stay alive, if only to kill that monster. I suddenly felt a pressure on my hips. Orion had straddled me. Sirius went into hysterics.

"Stop!" Orion &amp; I both commanded. Sirius only fell silent since I told him to. So, I was the strong one this time. Interesting switch. Orion ripped open the top of my Auror's uniform, including the red shirt to expose my chest.

I focused on my Spirit tattoo, currently between my shoulder blades, still unseen. /Swift Horn, please. Stay out of sight. Hide the tattoo. Please!/ I had never tried to command my tattoo before. Now I was begging it to stay out of sight. I suddenly felt it move to my scalp. My hair would cover it, but would it stay there? /Please. Stay there!/ I couldn't transform even if I was alone, being pinned in this position. Prongs would snap his front legs right off.

I felt Orion petting my breast bone as he spoke. "Slight problem Sirius," Orion went on as if ripping shirts of young men open was the most natural thing in the world for him. (Probably was.) "Jim here has a liking for those of ...lesser class shall we say?"

Sirius had gone deathly silent by now, but he glared at Orion like a dog intently stares at something he's hunting. I felt Orion's hands on my chest, petting my skin until the tiny hairs rose up as my blood rushed through me. I focused on the ceiling again. Summoning grounds. The time was near to retreat back to that night. I could feel every curve of Orion as he sat on my hips. He dared kiss the center of my chest, lingering for nearly a minute, then raised his wand in my line of sight for a moment &amp; brought it down. I felt something bite my flesh in my right shoulder. It lifted a bit, only to bite down once more.

I jerked with the pain, which made Orion sway on me &amp; I had a sudden acute feeling of him brushing against me. I suddenly knew what he was doing. Any pain he caused me that was strong enough to make my entire body react would cause us to grind together. Determined that my impeding arousal would be ignored, I stared at the ceiling once more. I hated Orion ever more. With him sitting on me like that, I couldn't go to the Summoning Grounds. He'd feel it. I gritted my teeth as he made another cut &amp; it took all my willpower not to twitch against the pain.

Unfazed, Orion continued to make more cuts, deeper &amp; more jarring than before, occasionally adding another kiss to my skin. He made me move whether I wanted to or not. I slowly gave up &amp; tried to retreat into the Summoning Grounds.

I was kneeling down on the forest floor by the altar. Sirius was stroking my back. "Is it him?"

"Yes."

"Shut him out," Sirius whispered, before lying me down across what appeared to be the car seat once more. I had switched places.

My wrists seared &amp; I was suddenly cross-spread on the floor again. I ended up bucking my hips against Orion instead of Sirius. "Ah, now you're learning." Orion covered my mouth with his own. I let out a muffled squeal. He took his time to release me &amp; cut again as Sirius swore under breath.

I willed my mind back to the Summoning Grounds. "Where'd you go?" Sirius took me in his arms.

"I'm here," I took his hand. "Make your move. Cast the spell." I lay down on the ground before putting his hand on my inner leg, hoping for his special touch.

"Keep your eyes focused on me," Sirius caressed the most tender spots.

"Someone," Orion was crouching beside me. He tapped me with the palm of his hand right between my legs with every word. "is – not –paying – attention!" I turned my head so I could look at Sirius. Orion kept his hand between my legs for a moment longer. After a quick squeeze, he let go, only to straddle me once more.

Sirius didn't voice it, but I saw his lips move. 'Keep your eyes focused on me.' In that moment, I knew Sirius had done something more to me than just show me how to use sexual energy so many weeks ago. He had charmed me somehow. Orion made another cut.

I went back to the Summoning Grounds. Sirius was standing by the altar. He held out a hand. "Stay here."

"I'm trying!" I ran to him. "Sirius what did you do? Is this real?"

"Sort of," Sirius said. "I fooled around with spells involving mind control or telepathy. Call it a mind meld perhaps, like what Vulcans do. I may be chained to that wall, but I can touch your mind even now."

"You know we could die here today," I said as he kissed my shoulder before putting both hands around me &amp; pressed against my tailbone. "Lily to. I think Frank &amp; Alice are already dead."

"No they're not," Sirius said. "Though she did have a miscarriage."

"Oh you know about that?"

"I think everyone does when a woman miscarries."

"Right," I leaned on him. "We have to get out of there." I bit into his shoulder as I felt another cut, though distant. "Ironic how you're both carving me up."

"I think he's cutting in a word," Sirius said. "But never mind that now. Come here." He took me down to the ground. He took Orion's place above me. "Just let go. I told you we'd be together here." I put my arms around his neck, only to pull away &amp; stare at my wrists. They were glowing orange. "JAMES!"

Too late, I was back on the floor. Did he add the torture curse to those nails? I looked back at Sirius who nodded once. Try again. Yeah well, neither of us had counted on being crucified on top of it all. I closed my eyes.

I was back on the ground by the altar with Sirius over me. "If we could just shut out those nails!" I moaned softly, trying to shut out not only the pain but also a strange sensation in my chest as Orion began nursing my right nipple.

Sirius stroked my arms, then held my wrists in his hands. "I'm so sorry you have to go through this Jim."

"I'm with you," I suddenly laughed. "I think we'll need bigger friendship straps to cover those holes."

"Of course," Sirius rolled his eyes. "I'll make them out of his hide!"

"Sound's like a plan." I put my hands on his shoulders, rubbing them. My breath suddenly caught in my throat &amp; I felt a familiar pressure building up. "Sirius! It's happening."

"You're with me!" Sirius lay over me, holding me close. "It's alright."

"He'll feel it."

"Do you feel him right now?" Sirius pressed against me. "Or me?"

"You." I went stiff under him. The next moment, I was back on my cross but my eyes were on Sirius. He smiled softly at me.

"There," Orion gasped. "I'd say was that wasn't so hard but ...all things considered."

I had forgotten about him. Just for a few moments, but I had forgotten. It had worked! I glared up at him. "Just wait until I kill you!"

Orion back-handed me across the face which caused the crack on my lip to bleed even more than before. "You're as bad as Sirius! You never learn." He put one hand on my chest under the wounds he had given me &amp; suddenly slid downward towards my belt. I focused on Sirius.

Several things happened at once. Orion had my belt undone &amp; put one hand inside, grabbing me roughly. Sirius suddenly had the appearance of a vampire as Padfoot's fangs appeared. He was struggling against the invisible binds of magic holding him, trying to break free. There was an explosion as Sirius screamed &amp; was engulfed in blue flames. A lion of blue fire burst forth. Orion was flung through the large windows &amp; I was staring at the sky where the roof had once been as shards of glass rained down on me. I closed my eyes &amp; quickly turned my face away barely in time. I felt the spikes disappear &amp; I sat up just as Sirius slumped to the floor, free of his own bonds.

I stared at him for a moment, actually terrified of whatever had just happened.

* * *

_(AN: Ok, ripped off a line out of Sherlock BBC. Also, there are several things out of Heroes I ripped off; Sylar fans in particular will recognise them. LOL Also Roswell, when Tess caused a vision of a fireball in the school. Modified that for Sirius's lion of fire.)_


	22. Chapter 22

**(22) The Favored Five**

I stumbled to Sirius's side &amp; helped him sit up by the wall. "What the bloody hell was that?" He had scared even me with that power surge.

"I don't know," Sirius panted weakly. "I'm really tired."

"Come on Padfoot!" I tried to pull him up. "We have a minute if that, to get out of here after that loud explosion."

I managed to get him to his feet. He put a hand on the wall, leaning on it. He looked drained. "Get Lily. I know where Frank &amp; Alice are."

"Alright, I'll just be a second," I ran out of the room. The door to the basement was just across the hall. I yanked it open &amp; fled down the stairs. "Lily! Come on. We've got to move!"

"What was th—Jim! You're bleeding on your chest."

"I know," I scratched at a place just under the wounds that were stinging. "Orion did it."

Lily took a closer look. "Oh no! It says 'Bloodtraitor'!"

"Yeah well, I am," I took her hand. "Hurry up! Something's wrong with Sirius."

"What's wrong with your wrists?" Lily held my hand up. The holes were bleeding profusely &amp; I was getting blood all over her hands.

"Sorry," I let her go. "He crucified me."

"He wh—I'm going to kill him!" Lily marched up the stairs &amp; I hurried after.

Bellatrix found Sirius the same time we did. Lily &amp; I split &amp; dived out of sight. Bellatrix went for Lily but Sirius grabbed her ankle &amp; she fell over. No one was looking at me so I transformed. Prongs reared up over Bellatrix &amp; brought his front hooves down on her spine. It snapped, making her scream. Lily helped Sirius up &amp; took off, Prongs close behind.

"In here," Sirius gasped weakly. He seemed about ready to pass out.

We entered a sitting room that was empty accept for a young house elf who was looking away from us. I quickly shifted back as he turned at our entrance. He wagged his ears at us &amp; seemed rather terrified. "Where are we?" I asked Sirius.

"Wands," He pointed at the desk across the room. "In that chest!" It was a silver chest with serpents carved on it.

I looked at the house elf. This ... might not be easy. I knew it was nearly impossible to work around a house elf who had been given orders &amp; I had no idea what this one had been ordered to do. "I'd like to borrow that chest for a moment."

The house elf glanced at where I pointed then back to me. "That is Master Malfoy's chest."

"That's fine," I tried again. "I'm not interested in stealing it. I just want what's inside."

"Master told me to guard the chest."

Oh! Maybe a loophole. "Did he say exactly how?"

"No one is allowed to touch it."

"Ok, can YOU open it &amp; give us our wands?" I asked. "It's all I want. The chest will be safe."

The house elf wagged his ears again, looking apprehensively at the box. He took it down. "Dobby—"

* * *

Harry's jaw dropped. "Dobby?!" Was this why Dobby had been friendly with Harry? Was it because he knew Harry's father?

* * *

"Dobby was not told about that. Dobby was asked only to guard the chest."

"Well, Dobby," I knelt down. He flinched when I came close to him. "I'm James Potter. Call me Jim." The house elf looked positively horrified at being addressed so nicely. I knew these creatures were basically slaves. I know that some of them aren't treated well &amp; I think this little guy was one of the more unfortunate ones. "I'm not going to hurt you. You can guard the chest. I just want my wand. Please, my cousin isn't well." I showed the elf my wrists with a hole through each. "Neither am I. Orion Black did this to me!"

Dobby stared at me. "Orion Black is not my master." He opened the chest &amp; handed over the wands.

Not knowing much about pureblood tradition, Lily took the wands. "Thank you Dobby." The house elf stared at her as she handed out our wands &amp; pocketed the ones for Frank &amp; Alice. When Sirius took his, he dropped it. "What's wrong?" Lily picked up his wand &amp; tried to give it back.

"No," Sirius tried to push her hand away. "Can't. Won't connect. No mag...magic."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Spent it all," Sirius closed his eyes tiredly. "Nothing left." He made as if to sit down, give up &amp; die right there.

"NO!" Lily &amp; I both pulled him up.

"St. Mungo's will sort you out," I pulled his arm across my shoulders. "Where's Frank &amp; Alice?"

"Parlour," Sirius pointed down the hall.

We found the parlour doors locked &amp; had to force our way in. Frank was kneeling on the floor with Alice's head in his lap. He was petting her hair. There was a lot of blood between her legs from when she had lost her baby. Frank looked up at us. Lily held out the two wands. He wiped away tears before taking them.

"Alice come," He put her wand in her hands folded across her chest. She shook her head &amp; turned her face away from us. "Come on. We can get out of here."

Lily let Sirius sit in a chair while she went to Alice's side. She tried to coax her into taking her wand. I ripped off a dark green silk curtain, then ripped it in half. I used one to wrap myself with. I was freezing &amp; really not much better off than Sirius. I ripped two swaths to tie around my wrists to not only slow the bleeding but hide the fact that one could see right through my wrists right now. Then I went to join Lily, carrying the second half of the curtain. "We need to go, Alice. Bellatrix has a broken back but I have no idea where Orion or anyone else is." I covered her with the curtain. "Sirius is good at apparation. I'm just finishing it myself as are the rest of us. If we work together, we can beam out of here to St. Mungo's."

"I'll get Sirius," Lily went for him.

"We can't do that," Frank said. "There are protection spells over this place. We can't get out like that."

Sirius landed beside me. He put his head on my shoulder, about ready to fall asleep. I shivered violently from loss of blood. Sirius managed to speak. "All gone. I took everything out. We can apparate."

"Going somewhere?" An odd sort of hissing voice sounded through the hall just outside the door.

"Now! GO!" Lily grabbed Alice's hand &amp; shoved her wand into her palm.

"Jamesss," the voice hissed. "Potter." I grabbed my wand. "Alice Jay. Frank Longbottom. Oh &amp; who do we have here? Lily Evans, the only impure blood of this lot?" The figure of an older man wearing a black cloak finally came through the door. He tutted softly. "But really, what riff-raff the Malfoys let into their manor." My heart failed me. This could not…just could not be…but I knew I was staring into the eyes of Lord Voldemort.

* * *

With a yelp, Harry clasped both hands over his mouth. His parents had met Voldemort before they died?

* * *

None of us were in any condition to fight him, least of all Sirius! Voldemort marched slowly, regally, towards us, wand raised. "Sssiriussss," Voldemort scoffed. "The white sheep of the Black family as your pitiful friends call you."

Sirius glared at him defiantly. "So what?"

I knew before Voldemort cast the spell what would happen &amp; I couldn't let it touch Sirius or he would die. I flung myself over him as Voldemort screamed, "CRUCIO!" It hit me instead &amp; it was hell. Worse than Sirius. Worse than Bellatrix. Dear Merlin, I'd rather be raped again. As quickly as it started, it stopped. Voldemort stared at me, surprised I was hit instead of Sirius.

"Don't you touch him!" I gritted my teeth.

Voldemort sent a spell towards me but Frank deflected it. Next moment, Alice rose into the air, jerking back &amp; forth. There was an inhumane sound coming from her mouth. Lily attacked next, only to be flung into the wall. Alice came crashing down. She shot a curse that hit the Dark Lord squarely in the chest, but he only stumbled back a step or two. I'm amazed Alice struck at all. She's an excellent witch, but in her condition right now it was a miracle she could move at all. Perhaps she was finally coming out of her shock.

Voldemort spread his hands as if admitting defeat. "So, these are the Favored Five of Dumbledore. Pathetic bunch! " Lily made it back to us. We all laid hands on each other, partly to say goodbye for we were surely all dead now &amp; partly to try to apparate out of here. "Oh do try to apparate," Voldemort teased. "I'd like to see you try."

"Let them try!" Dumbledore's voice rang out &amp; the room was suddenly a lot more full as Dumbledore led Mad-Eye Moody &amp; several other seasoned Aurors into a charge against Voldemort. The Dark Lord raised his wand towards us &amp; was part way through pronouncing the Death Curse on us all, but we pulled each other close.

When we were sure we were all touching each other, Lily, Frank &amp; I focused on St. Mungo's hospital. It was the first time I was going to try apparation without a teacher present &amp; without Sirius's help.

It took a lot of twisting turns in the darkness between space &amp; time. It was excruciating for those of us that were injured. I don't know where exactly we ended up as I had passed out the moment we came out of the vortex, but apparently we did end up right in the lobby of St. Mungo's. I awoke the next day with Sirius lying asleep in the bed next to me. We were together in a small room with just the two beds. I sat up &amp; turned away from him. My wand was lying on the night table &amp; I took it &amp; immediately made a scratch. I tossed my wand aside &amp; watched the cut bleed dry. I quickly wiped the bloody mess off my arm before lying down again. Not a moment to soon either since Lily suddenly showed up.

"How's Alice?" I asked first.

"Her &amp; Frank are already back at Hogwarts," Lily answered as she sat down on the edge of my bed. "She's physically fine, but she really wanted that baby. It would have been a girl. They named her Trinity since you were crucified &amp; all."

"Thanks," I really had no other words for it. I held up my wrists now bound with proper bandages.

"They stopped bleeding," Lily said. "But it was powerful magic of the Dark Arts so ..."

"I'll get scars," I sighed. "What happened?" I finally asked. "Is Voldemort dead? Is it over?"

"No," Lily shook her head. "I was at Hogwarts earlier this morning to get any updates. Voldemort was driven off but Dumbledore lost seven Aurors in the fight."

"Seven," I gasped. Seven dead just like that. "I never thought I'd get to see him."

"That was dreadful!" Lily exclaimed. "I hope we never see him again."

I lay back on the pillows. Then suddenly, everything came flooding to me. I sat up sharply. "Lily! I can't be here! I can't."

"Jim, you're fi—"

"NO!" I tried to stand but was still weak from Orion's torture. "Rape...Spirit tattoo! I CANT be here! Neither can Sirius! Everyone will know."

Lily put a hand on my chest under the strap wrapped around my shoulders as 'Bloodtraitor' took its time to heal. "The Spirits are fine. I put a Concealment Charm on Sirius's tattoo but I can't even find yours."

I put a hand on my head. "He's in my hair. I told him to stay there." I slowly relaxed. I can control where my tattoo goes? Wish I had learned how years ago!

"I heard you crying," Lily went on after a moment of silence. "Back at the Malfoy Manor. Sirius to. Did...did Orion...?"

"Not really," I lay back again. "He had his hands on me, fondled me a bit but that was it. He was more interested in getting information that neither of us had."

"Oh, I thought you mentioned...rape...well, uh never mind."

"I was referring to last summer," I moved over a bit &amp; Lily lay down beside me above the blankets. I suddenly had her in my arms in a bed. My dream ever since I could remember. Certainly wasn't how I had imagined it. "Orion left scars inside me. It's why I didn't go to Pomfrey, remember? But I guess here, they found every injury. Everyone will know now."

"Oh they didn't go that far," Lily said. "I watched them simply because I was terrified your Spirit would show up. But they focused on your carved word &amp; crucifix marks only. No one else knows."

I took a long time to let that sink in. Lily had watched over me &amp; Sirius. "Thanks Lily." I held her tighter.

We lay in silence for nearly half an hour. I thought she had gone to sleep. I glanced over at Sirius, but he was still out. What the hell had he done? Lily raised her head from my chest. "Um...sorry. I ...I forgot." She pushed herself away &amp; sat on the edge again. "Your carving," she indicated the strap.

"Oh it doesn't hurt anymore," I held up my hand. "But these do &amp; they itch like a mother—whatever. Thing." I grinned sheepishly as I tried not to swear in front of a girl.

Lily raised an eyebrow at me. "James Potter, you truly are a despicable creature. You know that, right?"

"Yes, dear," I said automatically. It just slipped out.

"Good," Lily sighed dramatically. "So long as you know." I glared at her. She stared right back &amp; I suddenly wondered if this was another moment I had once dreamed of. Kissing Lily Evans. She suddenly leaned over me, nearly nose to nose. Ok. This would be the moment! "I have to get back to Hogwarts," Lily spoke softly instead. "Your parents will be here within the hour. You should rest until then."

She kissed my cheek &amp; …

I'm stuck on her kissing my cheek. She's long gone by now ...but I'm in a daze. I was just kissed by Lily Evans!

I died!

A pillow landed in my face. "You've been grinning for a long time over there!" Sirius laughed at me.

What, wait? That idiot is awake? Wh...hang on, where am I—OH! Right! I really need to snap out of this. "Sorry."

"You're apologising," Sirius teased.

I sent the pillow back. Sirius moved to the far edge of his bed &amp; patted beside him. I switched to lie beside him. I was still in love with him, but now I think I was finding my old feelings for Lily as well. I suddenly understood how Sirius felt, being with me but also loving Remus at the same time. Perhaps Padfoot was a Two-Spirit like Prongs was.

The moment I was lying next to him, Sirius passed a hand over the strap, then lifted one of my wrists, inspecting the bandage. Each bandage was a strap around the whole wrist &amp; either side of it was connected by a spike of power right through the hole. It didn't hurt as much. These spikes were biological, filled with medicine to feed my wounds from the inside out, literally. As the holes slowly closed over, the spikes would disappear, having been 'eaten' by my crucified marks. This was why it was itching so much as well since both holes were on speed-healing. The spikes would eventually fill the holes with new muscle, but I would be scarred top &amp; bottom on both of them.

"Oh Jim," Sirius buried his face into my shoulder, sobbing. "I hate him so much! I'm so sorry! I tried everything to get him to come after me or unloose me or something."

"I know," I held him close. When he had calmed down a bit, I teased, "But saying you'd become a Death Eater for my sake? Really Sirius. No one would believe that."

"I had no intention of joining," Sirius defended. "I just wanted him to untie me so I could kill him."

"I know," I put a hand on his face. "Hmm, you're beard's coming out again."

"Shut it you," Sirius kissed me so I couldn't complain. He was the first to start growing a beard. Peter &amp; I could barely get a shadow. Remus, who we all thought would have been first considering what he is, still had the ba...er uh...pup face. Not a single hair outside of full moons to this day. It was miserably unfair. "Are you ok?" He began petting my hair.

I covered his hand with my own. "I am now." Prongs suddenly showed up where our hands joined, looking for Padfoot.

"Uh," Sirius stared at my Spirit. "Oh no!"

"It's ok," I explained. "I guess we ought to hide him as well."

"Padfoot's right there," Sirius reached for his wand to hide Prongs. "Weird knowing where she is but I can't see her." Prongs soon winked out of sight. Sirius put his wand on the headstand for easy grabbing. "Come here," He held me under him &amp; kissed first my brow, then my lips. We were soon lost to anything else. I loved his touch. So opposite Orion. Wherever that monster had violated me, Sirius would cover with his own caress. He shoved one hand under my hospital robe, then slowly slipped downwards.

"Jim? OH! Sorry!"

Sirius &amp; I separated as if we had grabbed fire…technically not far from the truth.

That!

Was my!

DAD!

I'm going to kill him to. Deal with it!

Dad was already walking away. Sirius banged his forehead down onto mine. As soon as he disappeared out the door, Sirius laughed nervously. "Uh should we erase his memory of that one?"

"Oh he actually knows about us," I said. "When he found out about Prongs."

"Oh," Sirius let out a breath. "Well, whatever!" He started kissing me again &amp; we were soon tangled in the sheets in our frenzy. Once more, his hand found its way downward &amp; began to stroke me. He soon had his face in my lap &amp; I started to move against his lips.

"You two lovebirds wouldn't happen to want tea would you?"

"OUCH!" I yelped as Sirius had actually bitten down on me from being startled.

Sirius &amp; I separated again, glaring at Dad standing in the doorway (Seriously dude! There's a grave with your name on it. I suggest filling it.), who added hastily with a wave of his hand, "Right. Sorry. Carry on!" He left quickly once more.

"Can I kill him?" Sirius growled. "Only fair since you're going to kill my Dad."

"Knock yourself out, Padfoot," I moved to my own bed. If Dad was here, Mum was &amp; she didn't know about us yet.

* * *

Harry had his face in one hand, shaking his head &amp; laughing. He was laughing so hard, his face was as red as Voldemort's eyes! For a split second he wondered how he'd react if Molly Weasley ever walked in on him with some partner, then wondered why he thought of Molly Weasley. It would be worse if Petunia &amp; Vernon did that! Suddenly horrified, Harry read on, hoping to forget that image of his Aunt &amp; Uncle, wishing he could have met his grandfather. He seemed rather cool.

* * *

"Sorry about the bite."

"Don't mention it," I hissed in an undertone. I had one hand on myself, trying to rub not-to-pleasantly, the sting away.

"I reckon that twinges a bit," he went on.

I glared at him. Idiot! "'Sirius-ly'. Shut your hole or I'll fill it!" Sirius just winked at me.

* * *

"Oh that's just wrong!" Harry put the thing aside for a moment, gasping for air.

* * *

"When were you going to tell me your Dad knows about us?" Sirius suddenly demanded.

"When it became relevant, as it just did."

Sirius glared at me as my father's voice sounded through the hall. "Do you boys want tea?"

"Charlus! WHY are you bellowing like an old crocodile? Wait until we get there so we can talk normally."

"Yes dear."

I blinked. I had recently said that to Lily. My parents both entered a moment later &amp; we innocently smiled at Mum but glared at Dad whenever Mum turned away. He shrugged &amp; held out his hands in an 'oops' sort of way that was incredibly annoying. He was enjoying this! GRR! I made a cutting motion across my throat will mouthing silently 'Adios Amigos' when only Dad was looking my way. He just smirked.

I officially hate him!

It took all of Mum's willpower not to hug me too tightly. I'm usually squashed up into her breasts with my glasses crushing &amp; no air….&amp; this usually in front of all on Platform 9 &amp; three quarters after a year's absence away at school. Very embarrassing! But now that I was injured, I was able to breathe with her around.

"Oh Jimmy Boy," She petted back my bangs with one hand while handing me a new pair of glasses. "Getting long. You need a haircut. My poor little Auror."

Swear to Merlin. I just swear to Merlin! I'm so old now, people! My 17th birthday recently passed. I don't need such pampering!

"Out fighting the good fight," Dad added as he sat down on Sirius's bed. "So, have they told you what you did yet?"

"No," Sirius shook his head. Mum finally left me alone &amp; we all waited. I was most eager to hear what Sirius had done.

"You summoned not only your Element but also your Shield Animal at the same time," Dad said.

"What?"

"Gryffindor is the firehouse," Dad explained. "Any member of any house can usually summon their Element very easily or their Shield Animal but this after proper training &amp; with the use of wands. You did both at once without your wand &amp; instead of creating an actual lion, you combined both Elemental &amp; House Shielding powers &amp; created a lion of blue fire. Very powerful stuff, Siri. Dang near killed you. In fact, you're lucky you got to St. Mungo's here right away or you may have had to finish your life as a Squib, using up all your magic like that. One should never use more magic than they have energy for. It could cost them their very lives."

"Wow," Sirius sighed. "I nearly got my wish of living like a Muggle...&amp; I blew it by coming here? Is that what you're telling me?"

"Pretty much," Dad smiled at him. Sirius swore in actual French. Mum &amp; I both rolled our eyes. My parents switched places. Good. Now Sirius can be pampered. He never stopped liking the attention. Dad took up my hand closest to him &amp; inspected the Anti-Crucify band. He caught my eye &amp; I suddenly felt the tears come. Dad knew exactly who did this to me. He lay beside me, keeping himself between me &amp; Mum &amp; Sirius so they wouldn't notice. "He'll pay, little Char. Don't worry, he will pay. Did he...do anything more?"

With the French accent, I answered, "No."

"Are you sure?" Dad didn't believe me. "You can tell me."

"Not that time," I said. "He just sat over my hips to carve in 'Bloodtraitor' but that's all really." I didn't want to explain the Summoning Grounds or what Sirius did to keep me separate from Orion. There was no need to worry my father more. He was looking rather haggard, more so than before. I knew in that moment, we were going to lose him soon.

"Alright," Dad stroked my hair.

I wanted to change subjects before I burst out crying completely for others to hear. "We met Voldemort. Nice fellow! We should invite him over for Sunday tea." We both laughed. "He ought to go to church. Maybe he'll change." We both roared with laughter which would explain any tears showing for Mum &amp; Sirius to see.

"I bet," Dad said. "I heard about that. You lot were really lucky to get out at all."

"You boys shouldn't have been there at all," Mum groused. "Thank heavens you got out of there alive!"

"When can we get out of here?" Sirius whined.

"Today," Dad answered. "It's why we're here."

Dad signed us out half an hour later. We got into the Ministry car &amp; went to my own home for the weekend. We took the late Sunday afternoon train back to Hogwarts since I wasn't allowed to Apparate or use the Floo powder until my straps came off. Such jarring modes of transportation would interrupt the healing process.

We arrived around four in the morning &amp; were escorted by Dumbledore himself to Gryffindor Tower. We crashed into our beds, not bothering to get dressed &amp; fell asleep almost the same moment. Fortunately, Monday for us was a half day so we were able to sleep in until lunch time.

Heading downstairs, we were greeted by Peter who was sitting at the table doing homework. Philip's habitat tank was nearby &amp; the platypus was watching Peter while floating on the surface of the water. "I'm taking care of him until Frank can take him back. He's worried about Alice right now."

"So, the whole school knows about the baby now?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know about that," Peter shrugged. "But all us lions do at least."

"What else does anyone know?" I asked, keeping my hands clasped casually behind my back.

Peter chewed his lip, looking at me. "The Dark Lord showed up."

"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "That was a surprise."

"Anything else?" I pressed.

Peter continued to look at me. "We know you were in St. Mungo's for a while. Lily said you got really hurt."

"I'm ok now," I held out my hands.

Peter took one look at the straps, then shot to his feet, nearly knocking over the habitat. "Those are Anti-Crucify straps, pal! Are you serious?"

For once, Sirius had the good sense to not make his usual stupid joke. I nodded. "I'll have scars from it." I didn't tell him about having 'Bloodtraitor' cut into me since that one wouldn't be seen anyway. He was worried enough with seeing these straps on me.

"That is really foul magic!" Peter declared.

"It is," I said, lowering my hands. "I'm hungry," I suddenly changed the subject. "I'll see you at lunch."

Peter hastily shoved his homework into his bag to join us. "By the way, Remus is right. There are only twenty-three cars on the train again."

* * *

_(AN: Ok ripped off 'So noTORIous' &amp; 'Star Trek: Into Darkness', both of which involve Zachary Quinto scenes lol Also, I'm sure Eragon book fans will recognise one line in here somewhere. I didn't even notice it until after doing my edit!)_


	23. Chapter 23

**(23) Control**

Harry sat at breakfast without really realising it. He wondered how many times his parents had met Voldemort before they were killed. He looked at Neville down the line a bit, chatting with Lee Gordon. Where were his parents? He always only spoke of his grandmother. Harry half smiled at the thought of Neville's grandmother's clothes on a boggart-Snape.

"Harry," Ron cut into his thoughts. "Are you ok? You haven't eaten anything!"

How could he when he knew just how much his father had suffered in one year, less than a year really? "I'm just worried about the match after tomorrow." He lied. Better that than the truth.

On the pretence of visiting Hagrid, Harry was able to get away from Hermione still up to her eyeballs in too many subjects. Ron was no where in sight, still avoiding Hermione because of their pet feud. Now, Harry found himself stuck having to be outside. He sat on the crossbeams under the Quidditch stands after the last class to continue reading. The cold sun was streaming in from the side &amp; the Dementors were floating near the borders, since they were no longer allowed too near the grounds. He could see them a ways off, but they didn't dare come near. His partly open bag hung from a bolt nearby. A few of his schoolbooks as well as the photo album were within easy reach in case he had to pretend he was doing schoolwork. He opened the Passion Year &amp; a small piece of paper slipped out &amp; fluttered to the ground.

Harry jumped down to pick it up. A black &amp; white face of a young man peered up at him, not moving, a muggle picture. Harry held the picture in both hands, staring at it, wondering who the man was. It was a sketch. Suddenly, Harry realised it did have one charm on it. The picture flashed into color for a few moments. Pale grey eyes stared up at him from a slightly familiar face. A black leather jacket over a bit of red. Harry turned the parchment over.

'To Padfoot. Thank you for my life. Prongs'

Harry closed his eyes. This was Sirius Black before Azkaban! Even younger than the photo album. This had to be from 6th Year! He turned the picture back but it had already gone back to black &amp; white.

"Black, if you're not innocent like my entire album is insisting, I don't know what I'll do to you! Crucify you, perhaps!" Harry returned to his perch after pocketing the picture &amp; continued with the memoirs.

* * *

Prongs bugled in protest. Paree flattened her ears. Prongs swung his head this way &amp; that, showing off his antlers.

"NAH NAH NAH!" Remus waved his hand at me. "What are you doing? WHOA!" He pulled back on the reins as Paree had taken a threatening step towards me. "Ok that's it! You're toast, Prongs! You are toast!" He dismounted &amp; came after me. "Good for nothing deer stew!" Remus gave my snout a smack. "Will you smarten up?" Grumbling in French &amp; growling in wolf-speak, he returned to Paree &amp; got on once more. "I'm dealing with pups. What the hell?" Still complaining, he pushed his unicorn back onto the starting point of our track. After several minutes, he snarled, "Would you get over here?" Prongs sighed heavily &amp; came to stand beside Paree.

I shifted back. "Remus, I'm tired! I have another patrol tonight, in Hogsmeade this time." Paree squealed when I appeared so close beside her as she shied sideways. Remus was flipped to the ground. He glared amber at me.

"Oh alright," Remus gave up. "You should have mentioned that fact sooner." He whistled for Paree but she kicked up her back heels &amp; trotted off into the forest. Remus threw up his hands in defeat. "Get her later &amp; stop picking!" He swatted my hands. The Anti-Crucify straps had been removed the day before, but the spots still itched. "They'll take longer to heal, doing that."

I put my hands to my sides for a moment. "I can't help it Remus!" I was suddenly scratching again. "I hate itching! Ever since my first velvet out!"

"D-d-d-don't! Just don't!" Remus wrenched my hands apart. "It'll pass. It can't be as bad as velveting out."

"You have no idea!" I grumbled in one breath, glaring into those amber eyes. Slobberkiss! Are you kidding me? Stupid mutt! I wiped my face off with one arm as Remus licked his chops &amp; whined. "Uhhh, what does that stupid horse see in you anyway? Hmm?" He tried to slobberkiss again but I was ready. I put up my arm &amp; he ended up latching on, his slightly curved fangs hooked around my arm &amp; slightly digging in. My skin was pressing on his venom sacs &amp; I could see the black venom, sticky like honey, starting to ooze. "Someone needs to be milked again," I gave his nose a small lick. He snarled &amp; let go. "There see? How do you like it, eh?"

"Paree will you come back?" Remus whistled into the forest, ignoring me.

"Catch your unicorn," I laughed at him. "We'll deal with those sacs tomorrow." Remus turned to growl at me. "Bad wolf!" I got onto my broom &amp; flew away, laughing. I was suddenly back &amp; forcing Remus to double with me. He hated flying. His inner wolf feared heights. "Come on! I think I have an answer to your train!"

He finally got on behind me &amp; I took him to train tracks none of us ever knew existed. They went through a meadow near the far edge of the Forbidden Forest well away from Hogwarts. They looked hardly used. I sunk into the tree line &amp; we both watched under cover. On the tracks of the meadow was a single train car bearing Hogwarts Express along the side. It revolved slowly three times. Then it began to sink out of sight.

Glancing around, we saw no one else so Remus &amp; I ran forward as the hole closed over. By the time we got there, the connection was smooth &amp; the revolving section was gone as if it never existed. Remus &amp; I shared a look.

"That's odd," I said.

"I TOLD you something was wrong with the train."

"Come on," I summoned my broom over &amp; we both got on. "Let's tell Dumbledore."

"Now what would two young Gryffindors such as yourselves be doing in the forest?" Dumbledore raised his brows when we finished. We both stared at the floor.

"I am a werewolf sir," Remus tried. "Not like I don't belong there really. Besides, it's my racing track."

"Racing track?"

"You know, for training Paree?"

"The forest is forbidden for a reason, Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore continued to glare at us. "Ten points from Gryffindor. Each."

"Wait!" I yelped. "Technically, I was above it. On my broom! Just flying around the countryside. Surely that's ok so long as I don't go over Muggle folk?"

Dumbledore &amp; I had a long hard staring contest. It would have continued if Remus hadn't interrupted. "I repeat. I am a werewolf you know. Lycans go through that forest all the time. Why should I be any different?" Now he was stuck in a staring contest. Good. My eyes are sore!

"You are different," Dumbledore finally spoke. "Very much so. I do not wish to see you hurt."

Remus bared his fangs &amp; growled. "No one dares approach me. I am fine."

"Nevertheless, I don't want to hear about you four going in there again."

"Four?" I echoed.

"I am of course referring to Mr. Pettigrew &amp; Mr. Black who no doubt tag along on these excursions at times," Dumbledore sighed before going. "That all being said, this is an excellent find indeed. That train track shouldn't be there. Here," he gave me a folded parchment. "Auror business." He added. Remus looked at the floor for a moment. "However," Dumbledore went on. "as it involves the school this time, there is no need to exclude your friends. We have caught two Death Eaters in the Black Lake, attempting to break in. How are you swimming skills, Mr. Potter?"

"I surf with Remus in the summers," I said. "So does Peter &amp; Sirius."

"Ah, delightful muggle sport," Dumbledore smiled. "I like a bit of surfing myself, preferably on the Mavericks over in America. Most dangerous waves in the world there."

Yeah I ...totally don't need those nightmares of a really old dude wearing a wetsuit while riding on a surf board. Thanks. Thanks a heap!

* * *

Harry put his head between his knees for a moment. "Neither did I, Dad! Neither did I."

"What?" James said, rather muffled, from the closed album.

"Dumbledore surfing?"

"Oh Merlin!" The entire album shuddered, making the bag sway ominously. Harry put a hand on it to steady it.

* * *

"Fascinating," I did a very good impression of Spock.

"We may need a few divers to check where they had been trying to get in," Dumbledore said. "I fear that they may only be an Advance Guard. You will have help from the creatures living in the lake as you &amp; three partners look around the base of this castle."

"When do we dive?" I asked.

"Tomorrow," said Dumbledore. "After your patrol."

"Can Sirius be on the team?"

"Of course," said Dumbledore as he dismissed us.

"I can't believe they're trying to get into the school," Remus mused as we walked along the corridor towards the Entrance doors.

"I just hope Voldemort doesn't show up here," I said as I opened the doors. "I never want to meet him again. It's really no wonder that some people are starting to not say his name any more."

"What rubbish!" Remus growled low. "He-who-must-not-be-named. Honestly, it's a mouthful. Why can't we just stick to Voldemort?"

"You-know-who isn't so hard," I pointed out. We headed to our beech tree by the lake. I suddenly stopped &amp; grabbed Remus's arm. "Is that ...Peter?"

Remus looked where I was pointing. "Ah wee!" (French for yes by the way.)

Peter was standing by the wall near the cloisters. There was a woman with him, black as night. She was considered to be the most beautiful girl in Hogwarts. Her name was Zephyra Azhral &amp; I only know about her since she had her eyes on Sirius for the longest time. He had never gotten around to her since he had several girlfriends at the time last year &amp; now just me this year. She was from Hufflepuff. Peter took her hand!

I couldn't believe it. Peter had never had a girlfriend or boyfriend before &amp; he often reminded me of Sherlock Holmes. He had never even seemed interested in dating. Zephyra pulled him close &amp; laid her head on his shoulder as they began to walk down the path leading into the center cloister. This seemed to have been going on for a while.

"Well let's go," Remus pushed on me, smirking. "Give them some space!"

"Yeah," I wrenched my eyes away. "Ok." How could I have been so out of touch with everyone that I didn't notice one of my best friends picking up a girlfriend? Peter never even mentioned her to me but Remus didn't seem to be surprised. I tried to think of moments with Peter later. What had I noticed? I must have seen something. He had let his light brown hair grow out a little so he could tie it in a short pony tail. I glanced back to catch sight of him with the girl before they rounded a corner. Hey, he lost weight to. He had always been on the chubby side before now. He wasn't a bad looker either; though of course, no man could match Sirius (&amp; no I'm not saying that just because I'm in love with him. Ask any girl. Sirius is a prize they actually literally bet their virginity on.). How had I missed all this? "Moony, how long?"

"Since last Christmas."

"I have missed a lot."

"Wee," Remus replied in French. "I noticed &amp; Jim? I ...well..."

"What?" We had stopped walking again.

"I know you're doing a lot of Auror work on top of school work," Remus said but it was clear that he had something else on mind. "It's just ...well Sirius knows about Zephyra."

"So?" I wondered why I didn't like where this conversation was going. Why didn't Sirius tell me anyway?

"Jim," Remus held up my hands between us. He petted the top marks of my crucifix scars. "I just...I know...Jim, if you ever needed to talk, you know you have me, right?" He let me go &amp; walked away on his own towards the lake. I took my time before joining him under the tree, but he was already engrossed in homework. What the hell had that been about? What did he know? Sirius &amp; I together? Lily kissing me? Ori—please Merlin! Not Orion. I decided not to press the matter further. After several minutes of silence, working on homework, Remus sighed audibly. "Everything's so different this year. It's wrong!"

I was going to write that he had no idea, but from that day onward, I wondered if he knew more than he was letting on. I know Sirius &amp; Lily would not have told him, not without my permission. But this wasn't the first time Remus had come on to me like that. My scent had permanently changed. That's what he told me the first ti...dear Merlin! He knows. I was sure of it, but didn't dare ask. No he couldn't. There was no way. "It's just the war," I shrugged it off. "Don't worry. It'll all be over soon."

"Yeah," Remus stared past me out over the lake, watching the giant squid dive. "Just war."

I only stayed with him for about half an hour before heading for bed around 6-o'clock. Sirius &amp; I both tried to sleep for a few hours despite it being daytime outside, but considering we had the dorm rooms to ourselves, we got up to other business as usual instead. At least, we knew Dad wouldn't walk in on us this time ...twice! I'm still miffed about that one. Ever since Sirius &amp; I were in that car, we couldn't seem to keep our hands off each other.

Needless to say, we only passed out for half an hour before leaving for Hogsmeade at eight for our night duty. Our supervising Auror was none other than Mad-Eye Moody as we called him whenever he wasn't around. He glared. We grinned nervously. Great! There went our plans of stealing moments together. He might see us with that stupid eye of his.

"See you at two," Sirius gritted his teeth as he marched off towards the Shrieking Shack.

Mad-Eye continued to glare at me. "I'll just be going ..." I pointed randomly. "Yeah. Goodnight."

"I'll figure you out," Mad-Eye muttered as I tried to walk fast without showing it in the opposite direction from Sirius. "Mark my words!"

Merlin, that guy is creepy! With no one to distract me, I often caught myself picking my nail-marks. Pomfrey had given me an anti-itch potion so it could have been worse but she said itching is good since it meant healing. Obviously the medi-wtich never heard about velevting out since in that case itching meant shiny new horns.

I stopped walking for a moment as a strange thought hit me. I earn a point a year. Stags usually live to around twenty but I am technically human. I suddenly wondered if I could bear the weight of an eighty-point spread ...or more. What would happen in my old age when that Stag had an unnatural sized rack?

* * *

"Ah Dad," Harry whispered to himself. "You lived the age of the Stag, but not the human."

* * *

It was a quiet night since Sirius &amp; I kept our distance from each other with Mad-Eye's magic eye swivelling back &amp; forth all the time. I was grateful when 2 a.m. came around since a chilling torrent had begun to fall. Sirius took my hand &amp; apparated away to Dufftown instead of leading us back to Hogwarts.

"Figured apparation would confuse that eye of his," Sirius teased when we landed. "I had a hotel room put aside for us for tonight." He led me through the door.

"Is this allowed?" I asked.

"No idea," Sirius shrugged. "We usually go to sleep after a shift. No one ever said it had to be anywhere specific."

I sat sideways on one armchair, putting my feet up over the arm. "We," I emphasised clearly. "rarely go to sleep after a shift now."

"Well not right away," Sirius smirked at me. "But eventually."

"Uh huh," I crossed my ankles &amp; sent him a mock glare. The window lit up as a bolt of lightening zapped the sky. We were in for a very bad spring storm.

"Ok ok," Sirius held up his hands. "Since we can't apparate on Hogwarts' grounds, you DO know we'd still be out there on the way to the castle, right? I didn't want to be stuck in this weather any more than I had to."

Biggest lie ever! "We'd be inside one of the carriages," I pointed out.

"They're open," Sirius leaned up on the desk with one arm, laying his hands over each other. "I'd be miserably wet by now."

"Don't move," I found myself staring at him.

"Why not?" Sirius pouted.

"Just stay like a good doggie," Ignoring his glare, I looked down at the table &amp; noticed the guest book. I got up &amp; ripped out a blank page, then found um, something that makes lines like a quill but it doesn't have ink. I held the thing up, noticing the stick of lead in the center.

"Called a pencil," Sirius laughed at me.

"I know that," I lied.

"Hey, not my problem you didn't take Muggle Studies."

"Ta gool!" I huffed. (Rudest way possible to tell someone to shut up in French.) "You're moving!" I pointed my wand at him &amp; he was frozen in place. "I've always wanted to try this. Using a Muggle quill."

"Pencil!"

"Whatever," I found a hard cover book &amp; sat down again. I began drawing him on it. It was weird using …oh alright…a pencil. Satisfied? I usually draw with quills, chalk &amp; paint. It took about fifteen minutes to complete, then using magic I added a bit of color &amp; then a charm to make the picture switch from color to black &amp; white &amp; back again. Lastly, I released Sirius who had been stuck in the same position for a while now.

He crossed his arms, glaring at me. "You know, I broke a promise because of you."

"Really?" I quickly finished writing on the back of the picture. "What promise?" I mentally kicked myself for asking. It probably had something to do with Remus.

"Yeah," Sirius took the armchair opposite me. "I swore to myself as a kid that I'd never touch pureblood filth. Now look what I'm doing." He pushed one foot up my legs.

"Thank you, precious!" I glared at him.

"You're welcome, cupcake!"

"Yeah, let's not use those words again." We both burst out laughing &amp; it wasn't for a few minutes until I was able to give him the picture. "If it weren't for you, I'd be dead by now."

Sirius turned the picture over &amp; read the note. "To Padfoot. Thank you for my life. Prongs". He looked at the sketch &amp; watched it change. He suddenly slipped out of his chair &amp; was on his knees before me. "Does this mean ...you're ready to talk about something?"

"Talk ...what? Not that I know of, no." I was really confused by his reaction.

"You want to live, right?"

"Wee," I nodded.

Sirius laid the drawing on the table next to us, then took my hands. "So have you quit then?"

"Quit what?"

He undid my cuffs. "You think I wouldn't notice, Jim? How many times have you been under me now? I've seen them &amp; I saw you doing it once."

"Doing it? Padfoot, you &amp; Orion are the only ones I've ever be—"

"I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about these!" Sirius pushed my sleeves up past the nail-marks, passing his hand along the undersides of my forearms. "I feel those ridges. In the right light, the scars gleam quite well."

"Tabrenak!" I got up hurriedly, bowling him over &amp; marched to the window. He knows I cut! He said he saw me doing it? "How long have y...when did you see me?"

"You were cutting in the hospital," Sirius said. "Before Lily showed up."

No. No no NO! He was sleeping! I whirled around to glare at him. "You were asleep."

"No, I wasn't," Sirius said. "I woke up but you had your back to me. I was going to call to you, but I saw you put your wand aside &amp; hold up your wrist. You watched it bleed dry. Lily showed up a moment later, so I lay asleep the whole time. Oh yeah, I know she kissed you." He added with a smirk. "Don't worry, that part's fine with me. But cutting?"

"Scratches," I insisted. "They'll heal!"

"They're not just scratches &amp; you know it!" Sirius retorted. "I've known ever since we first made love in that Cadillac. I saw the scars. I wanted to talk to you right then &amp; there about them, but then I noticed the Aurors coming our way."

"I don't do it often."

"You shouldn't be doing it at all!"

"It's not that big a deal!"

"It is! Jim!" Sirius grabbed my shoulders. "Don't you think you suffered enough?"

"It's just a release."

"No, this!" He put one hand down my trousers. "Is a release! I told you before, you come to me for anything." He put that same hand on my wrist with the suicide cuts. "When you did this, remember?"

"It means no—"

"James!" Sirius growled so much, Padfoot's fangs appeared. "Stop! Just stop it. Please! Stop the cutting. Stop defending it! Cutting is an illusion. It isn't real. It doesn't help you!"

"You don't understand!" I tried to pull free. "Let me go!"

"Never!" Sirius used the strength of the Grim to hold me in place. He growled &amp; I could see the four long curving points of Padfoot, longer than even Remus. Oh it's going to be like that is it? I reached for Prongs as Sirius reamed me out in a feminine voice. Tiny Bubbles herself was speaking to me through him! "You're the one who doesn't get it! You're not the only one hurting here ok? How do you think I feel? Watching him hurt you &amp; there's nothing I can do about it? Watching you destroy yourself? You think I'm not in pain? I'm hurting as much as you!" My vision had gone blurry despite the fact I was wearing glasses. Not again! I heard the lower registrar of Sirius's voice as he took over &amp; spoke in Iroquois. It took a moment, but the fangs disappeared.

"What did you say?" I gasped in one breath.

"Stand down, Tiny Bubbles," Sirius translated. "She wanted to bite you. She's not happy with you either."

"I have never seen that happen before!"

"Neither have I!"

I pulled away from him at last. "Just drop the subject."

"James," Sirius began.

"I said leave it alone!" I snarled at him. One of the two light bulbs in the ceiling blew up with my outburst. Sirius just stared at me, trying to say something yet not sure how. I doubt this night was going the way either of us had planned. It was supposed to be a night of passion between us. Oh yes! I know very well what Sirius was implying, bringing me here! But now I was so infuriated with him that I wanted to be alone. I marched into the large washroom &amp; slammed the door.

Idiot! Me by the way, an idiot. I'm in a muggle washroom &amp; I have no idea what I'm doing. I was in total darkness &amp; I had left my jacket out over the armchair with my wand sheath nearby. I knew muggle folk had things like switches on the wall so I passed my hand around until I felt a panel of so many switches, I hit all of them at once. Two types of lights came on &amp; the bathtub made an odd clunking sound. I turned off each switch in turn. The second one shut the tub up. The first one killed the main lights &amp; I was left with four covered lights in each corner that cast a glow over the room.

I glared at the tub &amp; figured it was rather easy to work out. It was large &amp; had several openings that looked like round plugs like on the walls along the sides. I knew this was a special kind of bath that could come alive somehow but there was no place to stick a wand into it. Looking back at the panel of switches, I guessed that the one that gave the tub a voice was probably the one that made it alive.

I managed to fill it &amp; sure enough, the switch gave the thing life. I sunk into the swirling water, wishing I had my wand so I could do precisely what not only Sirius &amp; I were upset about but also Tiny Bubbles, just to annoy everyone. Oh well. I went under almost all the way &amp; closed my eyes, trying to shut everything out.

I don't know how long I lay there like that but I suddenly nearly leaped straight out of the tub. There was something in here with me other than water. With a yelp, I punched whatever it was.

"OUCH! Prongs!"

"Sirius?" I opened my eyes as I sat up. Sirius was in the bath next to me. It was wide enough for at least three people. I glared at him.

"Didn't feel me get in with the whirlpool going, did you?" He teased.

"I don't recall inviting you," I continued glaring at him.

Sirius took me in his arms. "Sooner or later, we're going to have to talk about this."

"Later," I huffed, meaning never. I felt my horns rise a bit.

Sirius put his hand on a point. "Ok." He stroked my side (which by the way, is a huge turn on &amp; that made me even more mad at him) before putting a hand on my hip, but I twitched like the Stag shaking a fly off. He took the hint &amp; merely continued to hold me. My antlers rose a little more &amp; I just knew that one point was sticking into his shoulder but I didn't care. If anything, he deserved it &amp; besides, he didn't complain or move away anyway.

We lay there in silence until the cycle was over. That surprised us both since usually with a wand, the whirlpools stay until you pull the wand out. Both of us rather confused, we got out as if the tub dismissed us. I pulled my horns in while towelling off before taking one of four white bathrobes hanging from hooks on the door. Leaving Sirius behind, I marched out &amp; got into the far side of the bed, still mad at him. He wasn't going to get his planned night if I could help it. So there! I felt the bed shift as he got in. I already made it a point that I was going to sleep without further ado.

"May I ask why you cut?"

I hate him! "No."

He sighed &amp; growled low under breath. "I hate it when you do that."

I turned sharply to him, glaring over my shoulder. "Do what?"

"Clam up," Sirius said. "Shut me out."

"Sorry," I didn't mean it. I just turned away from him, pulling my pillow into a better position.

The bed moved as he came next to me. He put a hand on my shoulder. I was about to twitch him off. "Je t'aime," He whispered softly. Oh yeah, thanks. Make me feel guilty.

"Mhm," I was determined to not fall for his seductions.

His hand moved to my back for a moment, then he moved entirely to his own side, leaving a wide space between us. "Good night." The lights suddenly shut off &amp; I was left alone in my gloom.

Damn it! After nearly an hour of fighting it, I finally rolled to the center of the bed &amp; wrapped an arm around him. "It's something I can control. How much. When it starts. When it stops. It only hurts as much as I can stand it. I want to be immune to pain."

Sirius turned to lie flat on his back, pulling me to his chest. "There. Now was that so hard? I figured it had something to do with control."

"I'm not trying to kill myself again," I said. "I just need control of something in my life if I intend to actually live it."

"There are other ways of doing that," Sirius pushed me over &amp; kissed me. "The cutting stops, Jim. Right here. Right now. Understand?"

"Then what do I have left?"

"The Marauders, Lily. Full moons. Auror Career," Sirius spread open my bathrobe enough to kiss my heart. "Me."

"You going back to Omega then?"

"Don't have to," Sirius continued excavating me from my robe. I thought I wasn't going to let this happen. Bloody seducer! "There are other ways of getting a pack-mate to dance for you."

"Yeah thanks," I stupidly rolled away to go back to being mad at him. Naturally, this got me out of that robe like nothing else &amp; by the time I had realised that fact, Sirius had tossed it to the floor. ARGH! What the tabrenack is wrong with me? I swear, I'm NOT blond! I just get really dumb at times. I glared at him, despite it being dark.

"Hmm, nice deer in the headlight look," Sirius teased. I blinked, trying to shove Prongs down so I could have my normal damaged eyes. (They've been that way ever since that dog attacked me when I was a kid.) "Come here."

Like hell. I continued to glare at him. I'm not going to go over there.

"You know you want to," Sirius laughed at me.

Oh I hate him so much at times! Aggravating sod! I suddenly had my arms around him. Against my better judgement, I let him lie down with me across the bed. I noticed that he was also out of his robe, annoyingly. I was intent on being mad at him through this whole thing. I just needed a fix is all. That was it! He kissed me again, caressing my shoulders.

"If you want control Jim, just take it," Sirius lay beside me, holding me close.

I soon figured out that he was pulling me onto him. Whoa. Whoa! WHOA! I sat up &amp; flicked on the lamp on the nightstand. Sirius was looking at me with a bemused expression. I just glared at him some more. Didn't he know how much trouble he was in with me already? "What are you doing?" I finally asked.

"Giving you control," Sirius answered.

I never really thought about it before. I was used to letting Sirius do as he pleased. "What if I'm like Orion?" I didn't mean for him to hear it.

"Yeah, that won't happen," Sirius put a hand on my shoulders to pull me down. He stretched across to turn the light off. "It's ok, Jim. You're nothing like him." He lay down beside me. "Take control."

I'm supposed to be mad at him right now. I focused on Prongs but he was all for it. Stupid Stag. Fine. I'll be mad at him later. Happy? I put a hand between his shoulder blades &amp; petted his spine. "What if I hurt you?"

Sirius turned his head to look at me. "Good luck with that. I'll probably enjoy it."

"Right," I huffed. "Whatever." He just laughed at me. I kissed his neck, then bit his shoulder on the bruise my horns had made earlier. I used the Stag's strength to clamp down but Sirius didn't seem to mind. Alright Prongs. Your choice. Cud chewing time or rut?

The choice was obvious. Terrified of doing like Orion, I pushed Prongs down while touching between his thighs. Sirius had taught me that so I started with something I had learned from him. His reaction was similar to my own. I soon passed my hands up his sides to his shoulders. He seemed relaxed under me. Could I do this? I didn't transform my body but I let the Stag take over my mind. His instincts guided me as I simply let go.

This time, taking control didn't hurt me. I rather liked being in charge. I lay beside him after &amp; held him close against my side, something I would never want to do with Orion. Sirius kissed my chest, content to stay close to me. I wasn't like Orion at all!

While he slept, I raised one arm to look at the wrist, using Stag vision in the dark. I felt no urge to cut but those crucifixion spots were itching so I licked at each of them in turn, nibbling lightly around the edges. But ...that was all I did.

Before apparating to the gates of Hogsmeade the next morning, Sirius pulled me close, kissing me. "I had a good time last night."

"Thanks," I'm sure I turned red right to my ears. "Not like Orion."

"Most definitely not like him!" Sirius took my hand &amp; pulled me into the vortex.

We landed at the far edge of Hogsmeade &amp; had a view all along the High Street, leading to Hogwarts. We were slightly under the trees &amp; we could see a group of five people stalking down the street towards us; though, they had yet to see us. Village folk fled at the sight of them yet they didn't seem to be Death Eaters.

A young man ran up to the tallest of the gang who seemed to be the leader. "Are you sure he'll be here, Fenrir?"

I think that's the first time I actually hurt Sirius enough to make him grunt as I was digging my nails so hard into his palm that I drew blood. With difficulty, I released my grip, then looked up into amber eyes.

Fenrir was looking right at us, his fangs visible in a horrid sinister smile.

* * *

_(AN: By the way, that picture mentioned is what I used for the cover of this story. It's originally in B&amp;W but I found a color version. Put them both as a laptop background &amp; put into to 'slideshow'...pretty cool effect!)_


	24. Chapter 24

_(AN: By the way, I do not accept Rowling's disregard of silver affecting werewolves. If you're not allergic to silver, you ain't a moon mutt. Sorry...so I'm using silver here. Deal with it. Besides, Remus never meets Peter with his silver hand &amp; it is never stated in the books or movies about silver either way so technically it doesn't matter what Rowling said. lol)_

* * *

**(24) Under Attack**

Fenrir had us both in his sight. We couldn't transform. The wild wolf growled, then suddenly charged for us. Sirius &amp; I fled. We had never run from a werewolf before, not like this. Moony chased us in play. Fenrir intended to kill &amp; eat us. We dashed into the forest &amp; tried to lose him long enough so we could transform.

"I can't believe it!" I gasped for a stitch in my side from running. "I'm running from a werewolf!"

"I won't tell Moony, if you don't!"

"Of course," I jumped over a half-rotten log. "This isn't an ordinary werewolf! I mean...he's like... Lon Chaney Jr. kind of werewolf!" (What? Yes, Remus makes us watch really old werewolf movies that muggles create! Bite me...er...wait not really this time.)

"Really? Lon Chaney Jr.? Muggles don't know a thing about werewolves!"

"You KNOW what I mean!" I barely dodged a tree. "Besides, they got the silver part right."

"True. Let's split up!"

"What?" I decided Sirius was crazy in that moment.

"Go on," Sirius pushed me aside. "While he's coming after one of us, the other can change."

We separated. I ended up going into a meadow far beyond the village &amp; the castle. Fenrir was coming after me. I dodged behind a tree as he sent a bolt of magic at me. Sprinting around a large boulder, I came up against a ledge that Prongs could easily clear but I could not. Between being eaten alive &amp; Azkaban, I vote for Azkaban &amp; was just about to transform in his sight when he tripped. He bloody tripped! Prongs sailed the ledge easily &amp; took off.

Prongs twisted in mid-air to change direction. I headed back to Hogsmeade. The four others of his pack were still there wreaking havoc. They had moved on to the far end of the High Street. I trotted down the lane, ignoring surprised gasps &amp; pointing.

I noticed Remus coming out of Honeydukes with Peter &amp; Frank &amp; it was then, I knew. Fenrir was looking for his long-lost pack-mate. Remus &amp; Peter both cast me dark looks for flaunting my Animagical form in front of the village while Frank just stared amazed at a large bull Elk casually trotting along the main road. I had to warn Remus somehow. I trotted into an alley out of sight for a few moments before people followed me &amp; changed. Sirius appeared behind two large barrels.

"He's here for Remus," I said.

"What?"

"Remus is with Peter &amp; Frank at Honeydukes," I grabbed Sirius's hand &amp; pulled him along. "We've got to warn him."

We stopped short at the entrance of the alley as it was now blocked by the one who had spoken to Fenrir earlier. The young werewolf bared his fangs at us. We glanced behind us to see that another wolf, a woman, had blocked the other end. Alright, we'll go out fighting. We both attempted to pull out our wands but the werewolves were too fast for us. We jumped aside barely in time as the man charged us. Merlin sakes, werewolves are fast. Sirius &amp; I went around as the Lycan spluttered on the ground &amp; dived into the main street right at Remus's feet. Peter was beside him

"Fenrir!" Sirius gasped, pushing himself up. "He's here for you!"

The only time I see Remus afraid is when he's tearing apart during a lunar shift. I have never seen him terrified outside of changing until now. "I heard Voldemort's trying to round up all us dark creatures," Remus glared amber at the two wolves in the alley. They stayed quite still, watching him.

"There you are wee pup!"

Remus yelped like a wolf &amp; pushed himself between Sirius &amp; I as Fenrir walked towards us. We now had four werewolves surrounding us &amp; only one was on our side. I wondered where the other two had disappeared to. "Stay away!" Remus ordered. I could tell he was near tears.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Fenrir licked his chops. "I'm taking you home. Also, the pack will eat well tonight."

"Don't you touch them!" Remus pointed his wand at Fenrir's heart. "They're my pack-mates."

"Are they?" Fenrir laughed as Sirius, Peter &amp; I reached for our wands as well. "Can they change with the power of the moon? Do they cry out in our shared pain of Lycanthropy? Do they feed you?"

"Technically ...yes...actually," Remus actually smirked for a moment. It was true, we do transform every full moon. We do share his pain, hating what happens to him &amp; I think he's gained a few pounds with all that chocolate we feed him.

"Pitiful," Fenrir growled low. "These are humans. They're food. Come with me, Remus. It's time you took your place in a real pack."

"We are his real pack," Sirius said. He whispered something to Peter in French &amp; both whirled around, stunning the man behind us with a double dose. The female growled &amp; so did Fenrir.

Remus dropped his wand, squealing like a puppy in pain. He had both hands pressed over his Lycan symbiont which was just under his heart. Remus fell to his knees, trying hard not to yelp. I was glad that Fenrir's pack had driven most of the inhabitants out by now &amp; that we were on the outskirts of the village or else, everyone would know instantly what Remus was if they saw him like this.

"Stop it!" Peter held his wand out as Sirius stooped to pick up Remus's wand. "What are you doing?"

"Sire bond," Sirius said. "Fenrir turned Remus. He can do what he wants with him by controlling the link between their symbionts if they're close."

"Well now," Fenrir smiled. "Someone knows a thing about werewolves. Who might you be?"

"Black. Sirius Black."

What color was in his face, Fenrir lost. Every single werewolf knows the name Black all too well. "Black..." Fenrir repeated. Sirius smiled. "Kill him! Kill him now!"

The female ran for him. I was in the process of raising my wand but Sirius shook his head. She was nearly on top of him but at the last moment, Sirius whirled around, wand out. "Silvastari!" Liquid silver shot out of his wand &amp; formed a bolt. There was a sickening thud as the silver arrow hit the ribs &amp; the bitch yelled. Sirius kicked her in the chest &amp; she collapsed, dying at his feet. "Hmm, that was actually my first werewolf." He shrugged &amp; looked at Fenrir. "Oops. You're going to be my second." He tried to cast the spell again.

"Expelliarmus!" Fenrir was too fast for him. Sirius's wand landed at the Lycan's feet.

"Ah, ok. Guess it was beginner's luck," Sirius said awkwardly. Fenrir blinked. Peter put a foot out &amp; rolled the wand back to us. Fenrir's other two pack-mates came up behind him.

There was a moment were time seemed to freeze. Then we were all scattering for our lives. Sirius dived face first to the ground, making Fenrir sail right over him. He picked up his wand, then ran for it as he hurled a curse at Fenrir who deflected it easily.

I thought I knew what a mad werewolf was before now. The remaining four drove the Marauder's pack in every direction. Fenrir was coming after me again. I fled into the trees, across a stream &amp; up the side of a hill. If only I could get out of sight just for a moment! I ended up in an open glade &amp; saw Hogwarts Castle so far away that it was as small as a chess piece. I ran forward only to find myself at the top of a very high sheer cliff. Turning back, I saw Fenrir enter the glade. He growled at me. I stepped backwards, feeling a bush behind me right at the top of the cliff.

Fenrir charged. I dived into the bush. Fenrir flipped right over &amp; fell down the escarpment, barking &amp; yelping. I watched him fall. He unfortunately landed in deep water but not before hitting a few boulders sticking out on the way down.

I finally transformed &amp; bounded off to find Remus. Two of the four remaining Lycans were dragging him to the edge of Hogsmeade to apparate. Lowering my horns, I charged through them. Remus ducked to avoid losing his head to my points. The other two were thrown to the ground &amp; didn't get up again. Remus bound them up with magic.

"Quickly Prongs!" He tossed them into a pile, ignoring their snarls. "We have to find Peter &amp; Sirius." I shook my head. "Prongs!" Glancing around, I saw no one but I still ducked into the trees to change just in case.

"No Moony!" I insisted. "We have to get you to Hogwarts. It's you they want. Get on my back. I'll take you through the forest, then come back for the rest of our pack."

"I don't want to leave them!"

"They're fine!" I grabbed his hand, pulling him under the trees with me. "The less we talk, the sooner I'm back. Now get on! I'll try not to bound to much." I shifted back to Prongs &amp; let him climb onto my back. I brought him to the edge of the Quidditch Pitch. "You get Dumbledore. I'll go back. Fenrir's down a cliff. He'll live but he's really hurt."

"Tell someone who cares," Remus took off across the grounds. I headed back to Hogsmeade.

There were only two werewolves left to get rid of &amp; I noticed both of them had cornered a Hufflepuff girl by the Owl Post. I charged through them, catching one with my left antler. He yelped in pain as he took off. His partner fled down the street. Prongs stopped &amp; watched him go. He bugled, then promptly charged after the retreating Lycan. The antlers caught him on the back &amp; I flipped him up to sit on them. I probably poked a few more arse-holes in him. He sure squealed like a stuck pig! I rammed into a window of the nearest building &amp; he went flying forwards. He crashed into shelves of jars filled with potions ingredients &amp; hit his head. He lay passed out on the floor. The owner of the store pointed her wand at him &amp; then glanced at me. She did a double-take, wondering why a Stag was in her window. I bounded off.

I found the final Lycan down another alley on the north side of Hogsmeade. Peter &amp; Sirius were trying to take him down. The wolf leapt at Peter who quickly shifted to Wormtail &amp; scampered under a bush. Sirius was already half-way through casting the silver hex. We had no choice but to kill that Lycan. He saw one of us transform &amp; besides, he would sooner do it to us anyway. Sirius leaned over, hands on knees as Wormtail came back. I put my muzzle down so he could crawl into my horns, then nibbled at Sirius's hair.

He knelt down. "Oh Prongs! I never thought I'd have to kill a werewolf! Remus is going to hate me." I shook my head. Remus would understand. Besides, Remus liked Fenrir &amp; his pack about as much as anyone else did. If anything, it was a pity that the one who had caused Remus so much pain &amp; destroyed his magical life before it got started survived that fall at all.

* * *

Harry opened his album to the wedding day picture of James, Lily &amp; Sirius. Peter was in the background for once. "Sirius."

"Yeah?"

Harry raised his brow at the others &amp; they left. By now, the album was used to Harry's strange antics of talking to each of them by themselves or with certain people. Harry lifted the picture when he had Sirius Black alone. Sirius redid a button on the cuff of his dress robes. "You do kill."

Sirius went really quiet, looking up at Harry like a dog looking reproachfully at his master. "I killed plenty during the First War. We all did."

"Mhm," Harry sighed, passing a hand through his hair. He shivered &amp; glancing up, he saw the Dementors were closer, adding their chill to the mid-February winter. "Fenrir came to Hogsmeade to kidnap Profes—er, Moony. You killed two Lycans then."

Sirius shook his head. "It was self defence though Harry. Not murder. Upto this date, I have yet to commit actual murder."

"You reacted badly to the killings," Harry went on. "Not the reaction of a murderer. You don't seem like a killer."

Sirius sighed heavily. "I don't think I am, Harry. Outside of war, I mean." He redid the button. "I can't imagine wanting to hurt you, Harry. You're in here as a baby but looking at you now, you're growing up. You look so much like your father. Why would I want to destroy that? I'm your Godfather, for Merlin's sake! I can't believe what you're telling us, Harry. I won't."

Harry flipped the picture around so Sirius could see across the grounds. "Look, Black. I'm under the stands at the Quidditch Stadium. Look what's floating all around the grounds of Hogwarts." Harry moved the picture around to scan the area.

"Dementors of Azkaban."

"All of them here looking for you." Harry turned the photograph back to himself. Sirius was on his knees, face in hands. "I think I might believe you. I want to. So much!" Sirius looked up at him hopefully. "But I don't know what to do about it. If I go after you again, I'm either going to be in trouble with Moony or get myself killed. How do I know that the you out there wasn't just playing with me?" Sirius started to speak. _"Ta gueule (STFU)!"_ Harry ordered. "Besides, I have no proof. Someone did kill my parents. If not you, I have no idea who. Everyone tells me it's you. This diary never says anything. I'm almost done but I have little hope of it mentioning anything by now. You don't tell me anything either. All you said that one time I went to face you was that I'm not your target. That's it!"

"Go talk to me again," Sirius said. "And mind your French, boy!" But Sirius was grinning widely. Harry just scoffed &amp; put the picture back in the album.

* * *

"Black? Black!" Prongs glanced behind him &amp; saw Mad-Eye Moody with Dumbledore &amp; McGonagall coming down the alley. With Wormtail gripping my horns, I bounded away in a 'wild fright' as if I was fleeing for my life.

I ran around the building, transforming in between a tall flowering potted shrub &amp; a fence &amp; then hurried to come up behind them all with Peter (who had also changed back) by my side. "Sirius, you ok?" Dumbledore raised his eyebrows at me &amp; I found I couldn't look directly in his eyes. I focused on Sirius.

"Yeah I think so," Sirius glanced down at the Lycan he had killed, the silver bolt sticking right through him, pinning him to the ground.

"I would think he's quite fine considering," McGonagall said. "Even if they are Aurors, hardly anyone manages to take on Fenrir's pack &amp; live to tell the tale! Or manage to kill two of them as well!"

"Yeah, I'm not proud of that," Sirius closed his eyes. "I don't like killing werewolves for obvious reasons."

"I'm sure your friend will understand," McGonagall said since Mad-Eye was with us.

"I hope so," Sirius took my hand for a moment as I went to him.

"You're friends with a werewolf?" Mad-Eye stared, then burst out laughing! "A Black! Friends with a Lycan! That is too much! You really are the white sheep, aren't you?" Sirius &amp; I just rolled our eyes.

"He has a point," Dumbledore smiled at us. "I suggest the two of you get back to Hogwarts &amp; get some sleep. Fenrir is gone but we have the three other Lycans in custody."

"What will become of them?" Sirius asked. "I'd rather not have them slaughtered."

"No, they won't be," Dumbledore assured. "They're young ones. Fenrir has turned a few people. We'll try to find their families. Hopefully rehabilitate them. I'm keeping them out of the Ministry's hands for now."

"Thanks," Sirius pushed both Peter &amp; me ahead. "Let's go."

"Just a moment," Dumbledore suddenly said. "Where did that gorgeous Stag come from?"

"Forest I suppose," Sirius shrugged. "I'm sure he's long gone now." It was all I could do to not smirk. I began picking at my left crucifix spot in an attempt to distract myself. Dumbledore stared at Sirius for a full minute but Sirius didn't flinch.

"Very well," Dumbledore gave up. "Off you go. Mr. Potter, stop by the hospital wing. Pomfrey's made a stronger potion."

I glowered as I forced myself to stop scratching. Peter smacked my hands. We got out of the carriage by the Entrance doors, but went down to the beech tree by the lake. Remus was perched on the lowest branch, reading.

"How you doing?" Sirius asked, putting a hand on Remus's dangling leg.

"Fine," Remus was clearly anything but. I noticed he wasn't reading but just staring angrily at the same page, which was upside-down.

"Ok," Sirius let his hand fall &amp; turned to the lake. We all heard Remus sniffle &amp; looked up at him.

Remus snapped his book shut. "He killed my brother. He ruined my life. He dares come here for me?"

"Voldemort is rounding up any one he can get," Peter said. "I'm surprised it took this long to try getting you."

Remus slipped off the branch &amp; landed lightly on his toes. He grabbed Sirius's hand &amp; pulled him close so that they were nose to nose. "Why didn't you kill Fenrir, Padfoot? You managed to kill a pack-mate...but Fenrir escaped?"

Yeah...not the reaction Sirius was expecting. I could tell from the way Sirius just stared. "I...uh I don't like killing Lycans, Moony. You're not like that!"

"I'm not Fenrir!" Remus growled but none of us corrected him on it. "Dumbledore's right. I'm different!"

"Thanks," Sirius randomly said.

"For what?" Remus stared at him.

"For not hating me," Sirius explained. "Since I killed two werewolves inside a few minutes."

"You're not Orion Black," Remus smiled lightly. I felt a horrific jolt go through me. Remus hesitated a moment before releasing Sirius's hand. They were getting closer. Remus started to walk towards the Entrance doors when everything went wrong.

There was a large boom as if an A-bomb had gone off &amp; the lake rose up in a geyser. "VATICAN CAMEOS!" I screamed &amp; the four of us dived for the ground.

The beech tree shivered as the ground shifted. Part of the castle by the lake actually sagged into the water a bit. "That's the Slytherin Common Room!" Sirius exclaimed as he jumped to his feet. "Oh no! Jim? We've got to go down!" Sure enough, we could see the lake bubbling as it flooded into Slytherin's dungeons.

Sirius &amp; I did the Bubble-head charm &amp; dived in. The surge of water filling into the new space pulled us down &amp; I was soon seeing green &amp; silver patterns &amp; snake carvings. We were inside the common room. There were a lot of legs as those trapped inside had risen to the ceiling for the air pocket that was becoming smaller. Sirius &amp; I began putting Bubbles around anyone's head within reach. There was a loud splash &amp; the water currents shifted, throwing me sideways. The tentacles of the Giant Squid appeared, snatched about seventeen people &amp; yanked them out. I wasn't worried.

The Kraken was known to save anyone from drowning; which was weird because, muggles have this one mostly right, Krakens are usually quite vicious &amp; can bring down entire ships. I suppose this one was raised from a baby &amp; trained. By who though I don't know. I doubt Hagrid. He's not old enough. According to Hogwarts: A History, this Giant Squid showed up nearly a hundred years ago, but it doesn't say who brought it here or raised, tamed &amp; trained it. Black Lake wasn't as salty as the sea, but obviously there is enough for that appropriately named Sea Monster to survive here.

* * *

"I really hate it when he does that!" Harry grabbed the album &amp; flipped to the picture with James, Lily &amp; a baby Harry. "Don't drop me. What is Vatican Cameos?"

James &amp; Lily both laughed. James finally explained. "Only the most Sherlockian people will understand. It was basically his way of saying hit the decks. Take cover. Oddly enough, he only ever says it once if I remember correctly."

With a groan, Harry closed his eyes for a moment, then closed the album.

* * *

Anyway, Sirius &amp; I pushed those with Bubbles under &amp; towards the opening. The Squid snatched a few more people &amp; Sirius had a great idea. We each dived &amp; took the stairs. I went up the boys &amp; Sirius went up the girls. The gender-guarding klaxon wasn't trigged this time since we weren't touching the stairs but actually swimming up them &amp; also, it would automatically shut off in a life threatening situation. Flooding faster than Titanic would qualify as such a situation.

I surfaced at the main hall. There was still an air pocket here but opening the doors allowed water to surge in. I cast Bubbles on everyone I met &amp; they dived down to the common room where the Squid would grab them. In the last dorm, I found Severus Snape.

* * *

Harry stared in surprise. The Potions Master, trapped in the Slytherin halls? If only he could stay trapped. Harry knew he'd be looking at Professor Snape a little differently.

* * *

Snape already had the Bubble-head Charm on him. He strode past me &amp; dived, only to be thrown back by the currents. No wonder, since he was a spindly little git. It was tough to swim against an undertow. The Squid caused extra currents whenever it reached in. Snape dived in again &amp; I plunged after him. I grabbed his hand &amp; held him under, pulling him ever downward until we came into the common room now completely under water. We heard groaning &amp; with a horror, I wondered if the section of castle that had been leaning was going to collapse. If it did, we would never get out, assuming we weren't crushed with the rubble. I pointed with my wand towards the center of the room &amp; sent a ray of Lumos. Tugging Snape's hand, I pulled him away from the undertow that was swirling around &amp; causing a whirlpool. I suddenly had a humungous suction cup on my face &amp; a few moments later, I wound up on the beach along side Sirius, Snape &amp; a few other Slytherins. The Squid dived out of sight just as that side of the castle collapsed into Black Lake with a resounding roar.

"RUN!" Sirius screamed. We didn't need telling twice. A tidal wave was mounting up &amp; surging for the beach. Everyone bounded pell-mell up the hills. The wave came right to the doors of the Entrance Hall before sweeping back out to the lake. The lawns were suddenly alive with stranded fish, Grindelows &amp; other aquatic life forms. I'm not sure but I think I even saw a mermaid flop around pitifully before the Kraken slapped a tentacle down &amp; snatched her tail. Now, that thing had to pull things into the water, not push them out. We dashed inside &amp; collapsed on the foot of the great marble staircase.

"What happened?" I gasped as my side screamed in agony from running so fast. I had used some of the Stag's speed but without transforming.

"Must have been a structural weakness," Peter gasped beside me.

"But Hogwarts has magical shielding as well," Remus pointed out.

"Yes but those Death Eaters were caught down there remember?" I reminded him, still clutching my side.

The Entrance doors banged open &amp; Dumbledore appeared. He was sopping wet! He went behind the large hourglasses by the door &amp; tapped the wall. A cone appeared that was attached to the wall by a tube. Dumbledore spoke into it &amp; his voice spread through the entire castle over the P.A. system. "All Aurors to the Great Hall. On the double. All Aurors. All ranks! Immediately!" As Sirius &amp; I were already near by, we simply sat on the bottom stair waiting as Dumbledore ordered the Prefects to escort all students to their dormitories, apart from the Slytherins who were taken to the second floor &amp; put into an unused classroom.

I looked across the hall towards the stairs leading down to the dungeons &amp; saw water lapping at the floor. It was completely full! "Sirius, look!" I pointed at the water. We went over &amp; we could see the tops of the stairs leading to the dungeons just under water. Now they lead into a dark gaping abyss, like an underwater cave people like to explore but get stuck in &amp; lose their lives. The portraits around us became full as the inhabitants of the portraits below scrambled upwards, dripping wet &amp; fuming.

Once in the Great Hall, Dumbledore began. "The entire face of the castle above Slytherin's common room just sunk into the lake." There was a collective gasp through the crowd. "I need every last good swimmer in the water now to help pull out survivors. The rest of you, get started on repairing the damage &amp; creating new enchantments over the area."

I was soon back under the water. We pulled out many students from the sunken rubble &amp; even two Professors. We were under for most of the day. Often, the Kraken would grab us to shift us to another spot where several survivors were stuck inside. We'd help them swim out into the Kraken's suction cups to be tossed on the beach. I don't know about the others, but any of the dead I found, I pushed out as well. I thought they would deserve a proper burial. It was twilight by the time we had all surfaced for the last time.

Other Aurors on shore were slowly raising bits of rubble from the water to repair the damage. The Kraken often lifted larger pieces into the air to be caught on waves of magic. It was slow work as each piece was searched by us in the water so that restoration could easily take place without worrying about someone getting in the way.

I have never been more tired or sore in my life as that evening when I half-crawled, half slipped out of a suction cup onto the beach. I lay there for a few moments until Sirius found me. He took my hand &amp; helped me up. We stumbled inside the castle at last but it wasn't over.

By now the House tables had disappeared &amp; many of the dead had been laid out in the Great Hall. There were some from every House &amp; every age. Most of them though, were First &amp; Second year students of Slytherin &amp; Ravenclaw, whose Tower had been half destroyed in the collapse. I put a hand over my mouth &amp; turned away. Whoever had undermined the integrity of the castle's base was evil. I couldn't bare to look at the dead children, most of them not even twelve years old. Needing a break I stepped out into the Entrance Hall.

* * *

Harry put the memoirs aside &amp; got down from his perch. He ran out of the cross beams holding up the stands so he could see the lake better. He stared at the water side of the castle, trying to imagine it gone. He couldn't believe Hogwarts had been attacked like that. How did anyone manage it?

Harry moved his location from the Stadium to the same beech tree near the lake. The Dementors glided about on the far side, but didn't dare approach as Harry stayed close to the castle. He wanted to go inside as soon as enough time had passed to cover for visiting with Hagrid.

* * *

"Jim," Sirius had followed me out. "You ok?"

I put a hand on his chest for a moment. "How could this happen? Hogwarts has powerful shielding around it."

"I don't know," Sirius took my hand from his chest &amp; kissed the top of my left wrist, over the crucifix scar. "Dumbledore just announced that we may have a traitor in our midst. Several times when he had sent someone out on a mission, they were foiled. Now this. Someone's passing information to the Dark side."

"If I ever find out who!" I balled my fists by my sides. "Don't they realise they've just killed their own children? Most of those Death Eaters have kids in the Slytherin House!"

"Maybe they didn't intend for it to go that far," Sirius said. "They got too far in &amp; accidents happen."

"Accidents!" A gargoyle statue nearby exploded. "Their children's blood is on their heads!"

"I'm glad the Kraken survived the collapse," Sirius tried to distract me before I lost magical control. "For a while, I thought it was a goner, getting squished under all that rubble."

"Krakens live in the deep," I turned &amp; began walking aimlessly away from the Great Hall's door. "It was probably went to be safe in its nest when the castle collapsed."

Sirius walked beside me in silence. I suddenly whipped out my wand &amp; whirled around, blocking a spell. Sirius glared at my assailant, his brother. "What are you doing, Reg?"

Regulus merely tried to attack me again but I easily blocked him. "You dare assault an Auror?"

"I'll go after anyone who tries to hurt my family!"

"I'm not hurting Sirius!" I huffed.

"Your father just put mine into St. Mungos!" Regulus attacked again.

Sirius blocked him. "Is he dead?"

"No," Regulus switched his wand back &amp; forth between us, not so keen now that two Aurors were ready for him. "But he nearly did die."

"Remind me to send an owl to Mr. Potter telling him how to actually kill someone next time," Sirius said.

"You're a pathetic excuse of a son!" Regulus shot back. "You're no brother of mine."

"Excuse me whilst I shed some tears!"

"But what did I even do?" I asked. "In case you haven't noticed, I've been on a rescue mission for Merlin knows how long now, right here in Black Lake."

"It's about you," Regulus tried to hex me again. Sirius &amp; I had him flat on his back faster than you could blink. "I was at St. Mungos today with him. He could barely speak but your name kept being repeated."

I gritted my teeth. Was that monster planning his next move on me? "Probably making empty threats at me since my Dad is the one who put him there. So what?"

"It isn't the first time I hear him muttering about you," Regulus said &amp; I felt nearly too weak to stand. "I've heard him in his sleep at home over Christmas &amp; when he was here last, your Dad attacked him for no reason."

"How would you know?" Sirius cut in. "Mr. Potter may have had any number of excellent reasons to attack Orion. Self defence is first on my mind. You KNOW how that man can be. Using Crucio on us! Why defend him? He got what he deserved!"

"It's been years since he used Crucio on me."

"Oh yeah. Forgot. You're the favourite son!"

Regulus glared at Sirius. "I'm the only son." He turned his wand back to me. "It's you! Something about you. What the hell did you do to my father, James?"

"Nothing!" I snarled.

"I'll figure it out. Mark my words!" He turned &amp; headed up the stairs back to the temporary Slytherin common room.

I grabbed Sirius in a hug around his neck. "Will he never leave me alone?" I felt his lips suck my neck for a moment,

"He will when he's dead. Don't worry." Sirius took my hand &amp; led me back to the doors of the Great Hall.

* * *

_(AN: Yeah yeah, Homeward Bound. lol Anyway believe it or not this sire bond thing does NOT come from Vampire Diaries. I had the idea for such a link for several years before I watched Vampire Diaries; so naturally I do like the idea in that series as well.)_


	25. Chapter 25

**(25) Aftermath**

"Hey come here," Sirius grabbed my face with both hands &amp; kissed me before opening the door. "Stay close."

We were at the door at the top of the spiralling staircase that the gargoyle guarded, about to go into Dumbledore's office. We had spent most of last evening helping to identify the bodies, cover them, send notices off to families. Sirius &amp; I had learned the hard way of the brutality of being an Auror. It wasn't all about going out &amp; trapping Dark Sorcerers. We had been sent off for a few hours sleep around four in the morning, only to be called to Dumbledore's office the moment we woke up.

I couldn't sleep without seeing the dead in my dreams, so Sirius &amp; I had snuck off under cloak to our special ever changing room. I had my way with him for the second time &amp; neither of us got more than half an hour's sleep. I would have given my very soul to be able to just stay there with him for the rest of my life, making love whenever we pleased; but the horrors on the first floor demanded our attention &amp; we regretfully forced ourselves to return to reality after it was clear neither of us could sleep much.

Sirius opened the door &amp; went in first. Mad-Eye Moody was also there &amp; he seemed to just be finishing a rather serious conversation with Dumbledore. Sirius &amp; I sat down on chairs by a window &amp; Fawkes flew over to greet us.

"I'm telling you, something's fishy going on," Moody was saying. "And I think it involves those two some how." (At the time it didn't register for either of us, but 'those two' actually referenced Sirius &amp; I.)

"Thank you Alastor," Dumbledore said. "That'll be all." Moody grunted, hobbled for the door &amp; left. "Ah Misters Black &amp; Potter. Do come sit down." He indicated the two arm chairs in front of his desk.

As we moved our positions, Sirius asked, "Why does he limp so?"

"Someone shot him in the leg with a terrible curse."

"Hmm," Sirius scowled. "I can't imagine why." I snickered, turning away for a moment. Dumbledore stared unblinking at us. Sirius shrugged. "What? He isn't the friendliest codger is he?"

"Black," Dumbledore moaned disapprovingly. Sirius just shrugged again. "First of all," Dumbledore went on as I finally put my face straight. "Given the circumstances, I am glad you could stay &amp; help us, Mr. Black."

"Well, it isn't every day Hogwarts gets attack."

"No it isn't," Dumbledore agreed. "However I was referring of course to your family. Your father crossed paths with an Auror &amp; ended up in the hospital. He is alright. Charlus Potter knows how to keep someone alive."

"Unfortunately," Sirius muttered under breath.

Dumbledore stared at him for a full minute, then turned to me. "Your father is an excellent Auror, as you yourself are turning out to be."

"Thank you sir," I was getting uncomfortable with this conversation. Did Orion expose my shame to the whole world?

After another moment of silence being stuck under his deducing gaze as if he were a relative of Sherlock Holmes, Dumbledore finally went on. "I have called you both here today to discuss a matter of security. It is my belief that someone is a traitor. Someone we know."

"Any idea who?" Sirius asked.

"I believe it is someone the two of you may know," Dumbledore said.

"Is that what Mad-Eye thinks?" I blurted out. Sirius did a double-facepalm, trying hard not to laugh.

"Mad-Eye?" Dumbledore glanced between the two of us. Sirius smacked me over the head.

"Uhh, well, what I mean is...uh..." I kicked Sirius to stop him from laughing. "Well ..."

"Oh here, I'll tell him!" Sirius gave up on me &amp; explained.

Instead of being upset, Dumbledore actually seemed amused. "Well that is one thing Alastor talked about. He's also complaining about the local wildlife."

"Wildlife?" Sirius scoffed.

"Yes &amp; he isn't the first Auror to complain about it," Dumbledore went on.

"Well what's wrong with the wildlife?" I asked. "Are the Gytrashes becoming more bold?"

"Oh it isn't even magical wildlife," Dumbledore said. "It's Stags &amp; large stray dogs. Usually black ones."

I pretended to sneeze so hard that I had to put my face down to hide any look of surprise. Sirius quickly got out of his chair to kneel in front of me as if seeing if I was fine. When we had quite recovered from our shock, we turned back to Dumbledore. "Sorry...probably from being so wet all day yesterday."

"Not to mention all night," Sirius muttered out of the corner of his mouth to me. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing.

"I'll send you to Madam Pomfrey after," Dumbledore analysed us again. Merlin's sake if he knew about our illegal Tribal power ... "I saw a Stag quite recently myself," Dumbledore went on. ARGH get off the freaking Stag already! "When Sirius took down a few of Fenrir's pack."

"Yeah it came out of nowhere," Sirius shrugged as causally as he could.

"Miss Marissa claimed that a Stag threw a young Lycan into her potions shop," Dumbledore insisted on staying on the topic.

"Maybe it's rabid," I offered. "Anyway, any ideas on how someone brought part of the castle down right into the lake?" I knew I had said the wrong thing.

Dumbledore raised both eyebrows into his hairline. I think he knew then what the Stag sightings meant. I didn't dare ask but waited for him to turn us in. "Someone with extensive knowledge of the castle must have handed over some of its secrets to the Dark side," Dumbledore said, amazingly getting off topic of Stags. Ok, maybe he didn't suspect me after all. I'm really not going to ask! I inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. "Many of the charms &amp; shielding around the Slytherin common room had easily been stripped away, leaving it open to an under-water attack."

"How did they get there anyway?" Sirius asked. "You'd think the Kraken would toss them out."

"The Giant Squid isn't always around," Dumbledore said. "Which is another thing. Whoever attacked us knew the Squid's pattern."

"Never knew that," Sirius said. "Does that thing have a name by the way?"

"Yes," Dumbledore said. But he never named it. "Now, before dismissing you," he stood up. "There is one more thing I'd like you both to help with. We're having a ceremony for those lost later today when their families come to pick them up. I would like you two to be part of the Auror Guard at the event." He handed us both envelopes.

Inside was a list of duties for us, such as bearing the Hogwarts flag &amp; carrying out some of the caskets for families ready to take them. Sirius &amp; I stared at the list for a while before accepting. Dumbledore gave us each a package in which was a Full Auror uniform &amp; sent us away at last.

Sirius &amp; I entered an unused classroom to change into the new uniform. It was a rare moment when we were stripping in front of each other but not even noticing. Usually, Sirius &amp; I could no longer keep our hands off each other if even the faintest hint of flesh had been exposed on either of our bodies. But right now, we were too tired &amp; too depressed with the events of the past twenty-four hours. Though Sirius didn't voice it, I knew he was as worried as I was about Dumbledore's sudden interest in stray dogs &amp; Stags.

The Great Hall was lined with sleek black caskets in four groups. Most of them were in the space where Slytherin's Table usually stood. Gryffindor only had two, both of whom had been in their seventh year. Every Auror was at the front with the Professors as the rest of the school was finally allowed in, along with several grieving families.

Sirius &amp; I held the flag bearing all four crests of Hogwarts out between us in the end to fold it military style &amp; give it to Dumbledore. Then we were divided in groups of four, Sirius, Frank, Doris Crockford (who was a good friend of Lily's) &amp; I were in one group. We began the first of many marches, bearing the caskets out to the gates with each family so they could apparate away.

There was magic to make them feather light, but even in the wizarding world, bearing a coffin on one's shoulder is considered a great honour both for the carrier &amp; the dead. There are some things not even sorcery has a place for.

I hated bearing out the fallen snakes, not because I hated Slytherin House (just certain members of it). The House itself was fine. Professor Slughorn was a great teacher &amp; my own mother is Slytherin.

* * *

Harry's jaw dropped. No wonder the Sorting Hat longed to put him in Slytherin! Harry came from a great pureblood Slytherin line. Harry put the memoirs in front of him &amp; stared out at the lake. Several giant tentacles waved in the air as the Squid prepared to dive. He had Slytherin blood!

Harry hoped Malfoy would never, ever find that one out. Ever!

* * *

It was because of the ages. Most of them were first &amp; second year students. They were way too young. Too young &amp; too many! When the last casket was carried out, this of a Hufflepuff girl on their Quidditch Team, Dumbledore announced a special long weekend. Classes wouldn't start until next Monday which was four days from now.

Though it wasn't posted, many students drifted into Hogsmeade to get away from it all. No Professor corrected any student on it, many of them went to Hogsmeade as well. I stayed in the library with Sirius &amp; Peter on Friday, preferring to catch up on long-forgotten homework, hoping to forget everything in a stack of notes about zombie wars, tricky potions, Egyptian Runes &amp; Razored Chrysanthemum fertilizations. For what was probably the first time outside of full moons, Remus was not with us in the library. Obviously, the world is going to end! I felt a tapping on my shoulder &amp; looked up into the eyes of Remus. Oops, my bad. He's here. Remus held up notes.

"Figured we could get out of here for a bit," Remus said as Sirius &amp; Peter read their notes.

"Really?" Sirius asked. "Dumbledore is allowing this?"

"I pulled a few strings," Remus smiled wolf-style for a moment. "So long as we're back Sunday night, he's ok with it."

"Wow Moony!" I stared at the note. Remus had invited all of us to his Cardiff home &amp; we could spend the long weekend as muggles. He had promised to show us three purebloods some things of his world ages ago. "It's weird going to England instead of France."

"We'll be back in France soon," said Remus. "Come on. Train leaves in half an hour. Let's go."

I was wrong. We may be going to Cardiff instead of La Havre, but once inside, it was still the same. See Remus, his whole family really, is a pro at the French language. (The one from France anyway.) When we Marauders speak in French to each other, we understand it fine but the Lupins are sped up. It's hard for any of us to understand what they're saying when they're in 'French mode' as we call it. Hope, his mother, was an actual Cardiff native but since she had spent many years in France, she was still better at it then we were. The worst was when they started using 'Fringlish' which is a mash of French (Canadienne or Parisian) &amp; English. Very annoying! Sirius, Peter &amp; I tried hard to catch what they would say when they went off on a tangent, but it just wasn't fair. We didn't learn French as well as any of us claim, but we won't admit that fact publicly.

When we sat down to an early dinner, the Lupins would use English for our sakes, but would often automatically switch to French or Fringlish when yelling (in a nice way of course…uh I think) at each other all at the same time.

"You poor dears," Hope said. "John's told me about this war going on. I can't believe the school was attacked."

"We need to talk about that," John said to Remus who wasn't listening at the time as Sirius had been stealing his food.

Remus growled at last. "DON'T GROWL!" Sirius flicked his nose &amp; promptly stole another piece of chicken off his plate.

"Well then don't steal," Remus thumped his fist on the table, fangs bared.

"You don't even like chicken," Sirius pointed out. "You prefer duck!"

"I don't dislike chicken!" Remus hissed. "But yes I do prefer du—I'm going to bite you!"

"Give me a moment," Sirius pushed back his chair. "I'll bend over."

"PAPA!" Remus glared gold at his father.

"Mind your manners, Sirius!" John Lupin ordered. We were used to being treated as extra kids in the family. My parents did the same thing.

"No sense of humour," Sirius pouted, pulling back to the table. Peter &amp; I snorted into our mashed potatoes.

John shook his head at us, then glared at Remus. "What's this about anyway R.J.? I thought we made it clear to keep that wolf hidden at all times. Yet you're still growling during the daytime."

"I'm still a Lycan, full moon or not," Remus said.

"And a pathetic one at that," Sirius snickered. "What Lycan warns ahead of time before biting? OW!" I think Remus kicked him under the table, judging by the wolf's smug look.

"Didn't warn about that one, did I?" Remus huffed. "Oh &amp; Papa? Please! You KNOW I hate R.J. with a passion!"

"Well if you hate it ...with a passion," John winked. "At least there's still passion right?" (Yeah, this is what I'm growing up with! Yet we wonder where Remus gets his vulgarity from. Granted, he at least has a sense of subtly unlike Sirius.)

"PAPA!" Remus actually growled again. And...there went the French. It ended with Remus thoroughly subdued &amp; glaring gold while John &amp; Hope were both smirking. Remus had actually yipped like a small dog.

* * *

Harry took a few moments to try to not giggle like a schoolgirl. Here was something of his Professor that he never would have known about. How changed Remus Lupin had become now.

* * *

Hope watched him for a moment. "Your eyes are still amber."

Remus licked his chops. "It's just Moony." He attempted to eat whatever chicken he had left as if that settled the matter.

"I know your friends named your wolf," Hope said. "But you never should show him until the day of the full moon. You know that."

"Blame them!" Remus pointed at some idiots while stuffing his mouth so full on purpose so he wouldn't have to speak for a while.

The idiots in question hummed &amp; hawed about it, trying to blame each other. John &amp; Hope continued to glare at them. I have no idea who the idiots are but anyway, it was finally explained how said idiots managed to merge the wolf &amp; the man &amp; tamed him using chocolate.

"Remus is prone to fits of temper ever since he was bitten." John said. "It is why we had to keep moving."

"We never intended to let him go to school, but Dumbledore said he could handle him," Hope added. "I'm amazed he got through the first year, let alone six of them."

"We figured him out rather quickly," Sirius said. "By New Year's Eve in our first year, which was a full moon by the way, I knew. Of course, I couldn't tell this git anything since he's quite cynophobic." Sirius patted my head.

"I just prefer cats," I muttered. "Anyway, during our second year is when we started to work on him."

"While I'm grateful for what you're doing, that is still very dangerous," said John, not knowing of course that he was looking at three Animagis.

"Is it?" Hope, who was a complete muggle, paused half-way through reaching out to touch Remus's hair.

"Not really," I said. "He wouldn't hurt anyone apart from the actual full moon now. Go on. You can pet him."

"Hope," John grabbed her hand by magic to pull away. "Don't."

"Oh he's perfectly fine," Sirius said. "You can get quite rough with him to. Watch this." Remus barely had time to swallow before Sirius tackled him &amp; both fell over to the floor. Remus growled long &amp; deep. It was a playing kind of growl so we didn't chastise him on it. Lycans are extremely vocal. "Yeah you big bad wolf, eh?" Sirius shoved his fingers into Remus's mouth &amp; even petted the fangs. "See this?" Sirius sat over the wolf's hips while holding up one hand covered in a black sticky mess. "It's his venom I just milked out of his sacs." Hope &amp; John stared. Sirius got up &amp; went to the sink to wash off. "His inner wolf is quite tame. I'm starting to consider working with him on full moons."

This caused a reaction in all of us. Hope &amp; John thought that Sirius meant he would start going to the den on full moons. Peter &amp; I already knew that part but we understood that to mean Sirius was considering not using Padfoot anymore. Was he insane? Well of course he is. All us Blacks have an insanity streak, even me since my mother's a Black.

* * *

"That confirms that one!" Harry sighed. He really was related to Sirius Black.

* * *

It was Remus who took it the hardest. He shot to his feet. "Sirius don't! I'll kill you!"

"Oh relax!" Sirius sat back down. "I was just kidding." Hope &amp; John believed him, but the rest of us weren't so sure. "Honest to Merlin! You lot are to..." he made quote marks with his fingers. "Sirius."

Sirius-ly. We all moaned &amp; rolled our eyes. "I certainly hope so," John huffed.

"You've never seen Moony, have you?" Peter asked.

"Not the actual wolf," Hope answered. "His den is the entire basement below. We don't see him on the full moon. But we see …uh Moony...coming out the day before. It's usually when the eyes turn gold."

"Would you like to?" Peter went on.

"See his wolf form?" Hope asked. "I admit I'm curious to know what Remus looks like then, but it's impossible."

Peter tossed over a small album. We had put it together especially for the Lupins. "Don't worry, we're on brooms doing that."

"Peter ..." John turned the album his way. "Is ...is this...?"

"Remus." I began.

"On full moon," Sirius nodded.

"That's what I look like then."

The pictures were wizard photos of a wolf running around. We were careful to keep our Animagus forms out of the pictures to give to Hope &amp; John. The wolf was colored like a Husky, but with larger ears, longer snout, bigger paws &amp; also bigger in size as well. The main difference was the tail. Instead of long &amp; curled it was short &amp; tufted. Moony in the photo would often pause to snarl at the humans peering at him, but there was nothing he could do.

"Where is he?" John suddenly asked, looking at one picture where Moony could be seen in a bright light almost as if in the day time.

"Oh that's the Quidditch Stadium at Hogwarts," Remus said. "Don't worry. We had all explained our idea about a photo album to Dumbledore. We did it over a summer day last year when no one was there &amp; there were cloaking shields put around so no one could see in or out. It took a lot of magical energy to cloak the stadium. Jim's parents helped since they know what I am."

"Wow," John pushed the album back to Hope. "It's just...wow." He was silent a moment. "You've gone farther than I ever imagined. Dumbledore's a good man."

Remus gritted his fangs. "But?"

John &amp; Hope shared a look. "Thing is, we uh, we don't want you going to Hogwarts anymore."

"WHAT?" The four of us stood up from our chairs so fast, they were flung into the opposite wall.

"It was perfectly safe! Dumbledore said so!" Remus insisted.

"Not the Quidditch Pitch posing," John began.

"We know about Fenrir's second attack on you," Hope said. "This war is getting bad. We want you here."

"I want to finish whatever education I'm allowed," Remus growled.

"Moony!" Sirius hushed him.

"You can go back after," Hope tried.

"No that's ridiculous!" Remus stomped his foot like a wee rabbit. "I have friends there!"

"Yes but do they know what you are?"

"Yes!" Remus crossed his arms. "There are others besides them." He nodded towards us. Technically, just Lily but anyway, Remus needs all the help he can get. "They're fine with me."

"Remus you shouldn't be telling everyone," Hope said.

"Not everyone!" Remus glared. "Just my closest friends. I'm fine! In fact, I ..." His eyes flicked to Sirius.

"You what?" John prompted.

"I ...nothing. Never mind."

"Remus, unless you have a good reason to go back now," John started. "I'm afraid you will not be returning with your friends this Sunday."

Remus growled. "Fine. I ...I might have...I...might have found ...a mate."

John &amp; Hope stared. Peter &amp; Sirius simply raised a brow. Though I know it would eventually happen, I still felt suddenly hurt that Remus had laid claim on MY mate in front of everyone. "A ...mate…" John stammered.

"Wolves mate for life," Remus said.

"Well...I uh," Hope was equally shocked. "It's good to know someone can love you but ...Remus, have you really thought it through? We don't know everything about Lycanthropy. What about ...if you have children? It could get passed on."

"It won't."

"How would you know?" Hope pressed.

"It just won't."

"We don't know th—"

"Gay." (Oh man the Lupins were being hit hard tonight!)

"What?" John stared.

"Ok not technically," Remus said. "I just said that to stop Mama from going on. Wolves don't operate like that. But still, the mate is a male so there will be no children right now."

Hope sighed, looked at every one of us in turn, then stared at the ceiling. "Who's ...up...for dessert?" (Yep...I'm never having dessert the same way again!) "I'll go get it."

"Ok," Remus sat down, glaring gold at anyone who dared look at him for more than a second.

"Well," John sighed heavily after no one had spoken for five minutes straight. "I guess you're going back to Hogwarts."

"Mercy!" Remus muttered a French thank you under breath.

Huh...awkward!

The four of us shared Remus's bedroom. His bed could swing up into the wall, exposing the floor &amp; we just spread out in sleeping bags. By three in the morning, it was clear none of us had yet fallen asleep. We all stared at the glowing star stickers on Remus's ceiling.

"That went well," I suddenly said. Conversation waiting to happen for several long hours officially started.

Remus just growled under breath. "That was disas-terrific!"

"Disas-terrific?" Sirius laughed. There was a thud when Remus tried to smack him, only to hit a pillow instead in the dark, missing Sirius.

"You think your parents would mind you being with a guy?" I asked.

"Oh they couldn't care less if I screwed a Devil's Snare—"

* * *

Harry blinked. "Oh no ...are you kidding me?" He all but cried. "Stole my lines! Stupid mutt!" He shook his fist at the pages before going on.

* * *

"—so long as I'm happy."

There was a collective sigh. "I can't believe you told them that just to stay in Hogwarts," Sirius said.

"Yeah I'm still trying to tell myself it's a weird dream," Remus said. "It's so not the way I imagined telling them anything like that."

"You just sprung it on them," Peter interjected.

"I guess it served them right," Remus made a rapid clicking sound with his fangs. He was annoyed. "I mean, they sprung their ludicrous idea of pulling me out of school on me. So ...yeah...payback!"

"So when are you two getting together?"

I hate Peter! I took Sirius's hand &amp; dug my nails in. He &amp; I were side by side with Peter &amp; Remus at our heads. (Oh yeah considering what this conversation is about, let me clarify: the heads on our shoulders NOT the ones between our legs. Ok. So glad that's cleared up!) "We're working on it," Sirius &amp; Remus said together.

"You're taking so long!" Peter complained.

"I hurt Moony once," Sirius said. "I have no intention of doing that again. I'd rather long &amp; lasting then rushed &amp; broken."

"Same here," Remus agreed.

I wanted out of this conversation. Now. "So what's up with you &amp; Zephyra?"

"Oh you finally noticed, did you?" Peter actually snapped at me. Ouch. Ok. Sorry. Sheesh! "Been with her since Christmas. She's great ...&amp;...well, let's just say that you &amp; Moony had better hurry up."

"With what?" I asked.

"Well, keep hanging back with Sirius &amp; Lily &amp; you'll end up like the blessed Virgin Mary...unlike me!"

It took a while for it to sink in. Suddenly, Remus, Sirius &amp; I figured it out. "OOOOOOOOOO!"

"Oh shut up!" Peter snickered.

"DETAILS! NOW!" Remus ordered.

"Hell no!"

"Wormtail, obey your Alpha!"

"Bite me."

"Do you have any idea how old that joke is?"

"It never gets old," I declared, rolling over so I could look down with Stag vision at Peter upside-down. "Start talking!"

"Fine, it was a very good Valentine's day," Peter finally spilled the beans.

Good. The conversation was saved. Peter kept the topic going for half an hour. Sirius had rolled over as well by now. Our bare shoulders were touching. I could feel my Spirit at the spot &amp; somehow, I knew Padfoot was there as well. I wasn't ready to give Sirius up yet. Not yet! I was never supposed to fall in love with him. He was never supposed to love me. But it had happened. I knew then, either Remus or I would get our hearts broken when the time came for Sirius to choose. I knew that if Sirius did finally switch to Remus, I was going to get my heart broken, no matter how amicably Sirius &amp; I would eventually break off. I didn't want to break off. Ever! Or if Sirius stayed with me &amp; kept it friendly with Remus, then the wolf would get hurt...for the second time.

Protect the werewolf. I hated it but I knew I had to start shutting Sirius out &amp; push him to Remus. I thought of Lily's kiss. I did like her so it wasn't like I was going to get left behind. I could easily love her again...once I'm over Sirius. I didn't say much more in the conversation about Zephyra. In fact, I was the first one to go to sleep if only to avoid talking about Remus with Sirius again.

By eleven the next morning, Remus had taken us three out to the muggle city of London. His father dropped us off on his way to work at the Ministry. Hope had a salon appointment (which Peter &amp; I found amusing how muggles do their hair while Sirius was already used to it) &amp; she surprised us by sending us to a grand spa down the street. She was good friends with the owner &amp; actually got a discount as well as a private sauna.

To cover his scars, we used the Concealment Charm on most of them that would be visible. Remus wore a silvery-blue outfit that covered him almost completely; though, it was slightly open at the throat. Concealment Charms took care of the rest. The day was going fine until I found myself with nothing but a towel around my hips, alone in the sauna with Sirius. I had to resist. It was time to start pulling away. Oh just once more won't hurt.

Sirius sat beside me, leaning against the wall. "Mmm these muggles are fascinating creatures."

"I suppose so," I tried to act indifferent. Against my better judgement, I ended up putting one hand under his towel.

Sirius let me play with him as he flicked some magic at the door, then tossed his wand on the floor. "Finally stuck with you alone! Come here!" He pushed me down &amp; I don't even remember him getting my towel open but it was open by then. I'm supposed to resist him now. "I've missed you." He kissed my chest &amp; caressed my body &amp; I stupidly just let him do it since I wanted him as much as he wanted me. We had just barely finished when there was a soft hiss at the door. I whipped my towel closed as Sirius dived for his wand.

"Peter wanted me to check up on you," Remus (damn it!) came in. "Why did you lock the door, silly?" (Peter &amp; Remus both preferred whirlpools to saunas.)

"Not on purpose," Sirius shrugged it off. "Dropped my wand &amp; magic shot out."

"Fine Auror you're turning out to be," Remus teased, sitting down on the other side of Sirius so we that we had Sirius between us. "Nice outfit."

"What?" Sirius asked as I turned away snickering. Sirius had yet to put his towel back on. It was lying in a crumpled heap on the floor. Remus gestured at his naked body. "Oh! Yeah it fell off when I took a dive for this," Sirius held up his wand.

"Why didn't you just leave it in the locker?"

"I'm an Auror &amp; we're at war," Sirius was as smooth as ever as he re-wrapped himself, sticking the wand in a knot at his left hip.

"Jim put his in the locker," Remus pointed out. I merely shrugged.

"I'm not Jim," Sirius grumbled. He finally sat down again. "Whoo! Nice &amp; hot in here."

"Yes it is," Remus agreed, though I had the distinct impression they were referring to two different things. Had Remus seen or heard us?

"Oh &amp; I, mighty pureblood that I am, know how to make it hotter without magic," Sirius went on, pointing at the water bucket used to pour water over the hot stones in the center.

"Mhm, so do I," Remus said with a hint of slyness. Again, I felt they were talking about two different things. Oh dear Merlin, if Remus knew about our affair …

"Oh yeah? Are you implying something?" Sirius smirked at Remus.

"Oh come on Padfoot," said Remus. "Three guys basically naked in a hot sauna that's private might I add. What's to imply?" He winked!

"Ooo would you like a threesome?" Sirius teased. I rolled my eyes, knowing that could never happen since a wolf is involved.

Remus stared at Sirius for a long time. "Well I guess that would depend on Jim."

"What?" I stared at him.

"Of course, Sirius &amp; I both know you're incapable of such things."

"I...I'M incapable?" I exclaimed incredulously. "I'm not the wolf around here!"

"There are plenty of things to do without giving away one's virginity &amp; forming a marriage bond," Remus said. "But everyone knows how stuck you are on Lily so unless she's involved, you wouldn't care."

Sirius burst out laughing. "Sounds like fun. What do you say Jim? Lily doesn't have to know. What happens in the sauna, stays in the sauna."

"Vegas, Sirius. Vegas," I wearily corrected. Pureblooded as I am, any idiot ought to know that expression.

"So long as neither of you try to mate with me," Remus went on. "Touching is fine. Kissing to." He gazed at me with eyes slightly tinted with gold.

I came to the conclusion that I was under a very subtle attack. If Remus knew about Sirius &amp; I, this was his way of making me uncomfortable enough to leave so Remus would have Sirius to himself. Or if he didn't know (please Merlin don't let him know), perhaps this was coming from Lily to see if I actually did like her or not. After all, he did mention Lily.

Ok … I vote for option ...three. "Come here you mangy little mutt! I'll teach you a thing or two." I started towards him, gauging his reaction. He raised his brow in a Spock sort of way, but he seemed slightly amused. "Remove robe!" Remus stared in surprise as Sirius laughed. "Believe it or not, I'm not even going to touch you anywhere personal."

Remus cast a curious glance at Sirius who just laughed harder. He stood up. "Fine. I'll take your dare." He let fall the silvery-blue robe that was part of his swim suit &amp; was now standing naked in front of me. It was nothing I hadn't seen before as all four of us shared the showers at Hogwarts. I could see soft blurry ripples over his body; our Concealments over most of his scars. What I wasn't used to was seeing him like this without the scars &amp; I oddly found that weird.

I glanced nervously at Sirius who was watching me, smirking, then back at Remus. I crouched down &amp; did that special touch Sirius had taught me. Remus actually yelped &amp; fell into his seat. I stood up &amp; went back to my own perch. "Satisfied?"

"Uhh ..." Remus shook his head, an amazing OHMAGOSHWHATTHETABRENACK-just-happened? look on his face. Sirius roared with laughter. "Not particularly!" Remus finally managed to say through gritted fangs. "Not even close!"

"I can't believe you actually did that, Prongs!" Sirius gasped for air.

"Neither can I!"

* * *

"PROFESSOR LUPIN! NOW!" Harry whipped open his album to a random picture. It was of James &amp; another man. Peter, Harry now knew. They looked up at him in surprise.

"I-is something wrong?" Peter stammered.

"Just get him!"

Both Peter &amp; James fled the frame &amp; were soon back dragging Remus inside. "What's up Harry?"

Harry glared. "You two bugger off. I need Lupin alone! NOW!" James &amp; Peter again ran away. Harry lifted the picture. "What's up indeed! How far along did you get with my father?"

"_Excuse-moi (Excuse me)?"_

"In the sauna during your 6th year. You &amp; Black &amp; my Dad."

Remus blinked. "I guess one of those idiots mentioned that off-hand. Uh, we didn't do anything." Harry glared. "We didn't." Harry raised an eyebrow similar to Spock. "Honest!" Harry's left eye twitched. "Harry I don't understand."

"You let him touch you."

"Hardly!" Remus scoffed. "Sirius &amp; I were just having a bit of fun. Jim would never have done more than give me a poke or two." Harry slammed his eyes shut. "Oh not like that, Harry! Gees. Relax." Harry opened his eyes again, staring at Lupin. "I swear!"

"So ...you don't think...Dad had anyone else before Mum?"

Remus looked away. He hesitated. He bloody hesitated. "No other girl." After a moment of silence, Remus went on. "Is Sirius ok?"

Harry glanced at the forest. "I suppose so, for now."

Remus went to the side of the frame &amp; leaned on it. "I hate this!" He suddenly punched the frame. "There are times I can get boiling mad at Padfoot but to actually hate him? I can't understand that! He's my mate!"

Harry rubbed his eyes. He had been reading non-stop for a couple of hours out in the cold. He wanted to finish the diary as soon as possible. Harry put the picture back. "I'm working on it."

* * *

Remus let out a long breath. "For a virgin that was a rather good touch."

"Please, I'm related to Sirius," I huffed. "You easily pick things up with him around."

"True."

"You got what you deserved."

"I guess," Remus laughed, picking up his robe &amp; laying it in his lap. "Ta gool Padfoot!" He told Sirius to shut up in the rudest way possible in French as he swatted Sirius on the shoulder to make him stop laughing.

Sirius settled down for a moment. Then he got up &amp; went for the door. "I think I'll leave you two alone for a bit."

"PADFOOT!" Remus &amp; I both yelled as he ducked out the door.

"What an idiot!" I complained.

"But we already knew that," Remus said. I found I couldn't look at him so I made it a point to glare at the closed door. "Really though, I'm amazed you did that."

"Uh huh."

"Are you ...blushing?"

"No."

"You're face is all red."

"Dude! Seriously! We're in a sauna."

"More red than it was two seconds ago," Remus pointed out.

Stupid mutt! "Whatever! You know, for a virgin, you're rather bold yourself!"

"Please. I'm virgin in body only, not in mind. You should see me eat a cinnamon stick!" Remus burst out laughing.

"Ok that's it. I'm leaving." I got up &amp; headed for the door.

Remus followed me. "I have a present for the four of us later," He whispered close to my ear. "Come with me to the lockers." I followed him. Remus dug around in his bag until he pulled out a small box. He opened it. "Cuban cigars. I saw the box on a dashboard in a car. I used your wand. Son of Aurors &amp; all. Magic trace won't do much."

"Gee thanks!" I tried to be mad but was staring eagerly at the box.

"Shh!" Remus put them away. "We'll try them later."

* * *

"Unbelievable!" Harry rubbed his brow. "Professor Lupin was the bad boy of the bunch? Wow!"

* * *

The four of us were out on the streets of London for most of the afternoon after that. Remus actually brought us down Baker Street &amp; sure enough 221B was visible from the cabbie. We were supposed to meet up with John Lupin by the visitor's entrance to the Ministry Of Magic at seven that evening. Sirius dragged us all into a muggle shop to get some muggle candy for everyone to try &amp; he seemed perfectly at home in the shop, along with Remus. Peter &amp; I had little idea of what to do other than stay close to the Wolfstar team. We rounded a corner &amp; bumped quite literally into Lily Evans, knocking her to the floor.

"What are you doing here?" I helped her up.

"Went to see my parents during this unexpected break," Lily said. "There was talk of closing the school but mostly everyone wanted to stay &amp; continue their lessons. Hogwarts is all fixed up &amp; back to normal now. Well, the castle itself I mean. But it just doesn't feel the same."

"You are going back though?" I asked hopefully as Remus came to stand close to me.

"Oh yes," Lily said. "Dumbledore's organised the lessons so we can all catch up easily &amp; continue."

"Is Petunia here?" I asked.

* * *

"Aunt Petunia?" Harry whispered to himself aloud.

* * *

"No," Lily wrinkled her nose. "She's got a boyfriend now. Name's Vernon. Vernon Dursley!"

* * *

Harry gasped &amp; clapped one hand over his mouth. They had met back way back then!

* * *

"What sort of a name is that?" I laughed. "Ridiculous!"

"I know right? Surely she could do better," Lily agreed.

"Is he a wizard?" Sirius asked.

"Oh no! Absolutely not. You know how she hates magic."

"Jealous, really," Remus muttered. "I'm glad she didn't come though. No offence but your sister's a big salope!" Remus had just called Petunia a bitch in French.

"Oh from you!" Lily crossed her arms &amp; glared at the wolf.

"Hey, I'm just saying," Remus huffed. Peter, Sirius &amp; I all nodded vigorously.

None of us liked Petunia much as she had been rather mean to us that one time we had the unfortunate chance of meeting her near Platform 9 &amp; three quarters. We had all gone through the barrier to the muggle side with Lily just behind us. Peter had knocked Petunia over so it already started badly. Then Petunia found out that all four of us guys were wizards. She was rather ...unkind &amp; none of us cared for her since. Then she had grabbed Lily's hand &amp; yanked her so hard towards the car that Lily had fallen down &amp; skinned her knee. I personally never liked Petunia as at that time I was quite in love with Lily. I have to find that love again. Soon.

Lily changed the subject. "What are you lot doing here?"

"We're with Remus," I said as Remus came to stand beside me. "We're going back on Sunday. Sirius is just buying us some muggle treats."

"Oh that's good," Lily smiled. "You'll like them." I moved away as Sirius beckoned me over to show me &amp; Peter something but I could hear Lily &amp; Remus easily.

"Hmm pineapple flavour," Remus said. I looked around, I loved pineapple! I was treated to a rather strange sight. Remus was on his knees holding up a small box &amp; Lily was grinning wickedly. Sirius snorted. Remus inspected the box. "Hmm, this box is a bit dusty. I think I'll give it a little rub." Remus did so as Lily &amp; Sirius nearly died laughing.

After a moment, Lily added, "Hey these condoms are on s—"

* * *

"OH! MY! GOD!" Harry flipped right open to the cat-scratch James. "You didn't tell me Mum was involved with Remus &amp; the condoms?!"

"Didn't I?" James smiled ever so sweetly. "I was sure I did."

"I hate you!" Harry flipped the album shut as James roared with laughter.

* * *

"—condoms are on sale."

"Are condoms a special kind of muggle treat?" I asked excitedly, hoping to get the pineapple flavour ones.

"You could say that," Sirius burst out laughing. What was the matter with them all? Peter was just as clueless.

* * *

"Really Dad? UGH! I'm so glad I'm not a pureblood!"

* * *

"You're right Lily," Remus purred. Really? "They are on sale! Any ideas?"

"We should get them while they're hot!"

* * *

"MOTHER!" Harry buried his face in both hands. "Uhhh! WHY am I related to these people?"

* * *

At that, she, Remus &amp; Sirius were quite literally rolling around on the floor screaming with laughter.

When they had quite calmed down I had to ask. "What's going on?"

"You don't know what a condom is?" Remus winked at me. Grr!

"No," I winked back.

"Neither do I," Peter added.

"I'll tell them," Sirius put one arm around Peter &amp; another around me &amp; led us away. He explained that condoms were what muggles use for safe sex &amp; described it in details I won't bother to put here simply because I know he's as big a liar as I am. "I'll prove it!" Sirius groused &amp; bought the pineapple flavour, amidst shrieks of laughter from Remus, Lily &amp; himself. I went to Remus &amp; then Lily, asking the same question. Remus gave me a similar answer. Lily just giggled &amp; said it was a guy thing but that Remus was right.

Right. I just want pineapple! I don't believe any of them.

Lily left us to go back to her parents, still laughing. ("Enjoy your pineapple, Jim," She winked &amp; purred, making Sirius &amp; Remus double over with laughter.)

* * *

"Ughhh! Mum!" Harry moaned.

* * *

We caught up with John Lupin &amp; headed back to Remus's home. Sirius &amp; Remus were still sobbing &amp; when they explained why they were laughing, Hope was laughing right along with them.

I didn't get my pineapple any time soon &amp; when I asked on the train back to Hogwarts, Sirius just shrugged &amp; shook his head. Fine. I'll just rob the kitchens for pineapple condoms or something similar to.

Turns out, I was in fact wrong &amp; for once, Sirius &amp; Remus did not lie to me.

_(AN: Believe it or not, I work at a grocery store &amp; the condom conversation totally happened among the cashiers &amp; me (I'm not cashier)! Yep customers were in the store to but we were to far gone to care! Lily got my lines...yep!)  
_


	26. Chapter 26

**(26) Sympathetic Water Fiend**

"So any news on these condom things?" Peter asked as I levitated yet another brick up to him.

"Not yet," I scanned the ground for another one.

It had been a few days since we had come back to Hogwarts. We were quickly reminded of the recent tragedy. The banners in the Great hall were alternating black &amp; Hogwarts flag but there were no House flags over each table right now. We'd get them back at the spring break just around the corner. All four of us Marauders had managed to piss off Argus Filch by blowing up a box of Dungbombs by his office. We would have been fine if we had only noticed Peeves lurking in a bookcase. Peeves tattled on us naturally &amp; we all were now stuck in detentions again for the second time in a row. **(The first time since we got back was Sirius &amp; I doing a double detention for using a curse that was apparently illegal on Bertram Aubrey, a very stupid git from Ravenclaw, which blew up his head to twice the normal size—oops!)*** Anyway, I tried not to worry too much that Sirius was now sharing his detention with Remus polishing suits of armour throughout the castle. It was for the best right?

Peter &amp; I had to put the finishing touches on the lesser damages around the castle, such as this broken garden wall by the Herbology greenhouses. I flicked up another brick &amp; Peter put it into place. Sirius &amp; I were the only ones with wands since we were now Aurors &amp; at war. It was the only reason I had my wand, but it was frustrating still since I had to wait for Peter to manually replace each brick as he got them. A teacher oversaw our detentions to make sure Sirius &amp; I didn't use our wands. McGonagall was with Sirius &amp; Remus while Slughorn was with us. He was currently nodding off on his seat. I don't blame him for being tired. Peter jumped across the archway to the next wall.

"Ouch!" I rubbed my head. Peter dropped down beside me. I looked down &amp; saw a small box. Getting on one knee (which I'll regret within a minute) I picked it up.

"Uh um Zephyra has a thing for dolphins," Peter stammered. "I dunno. I thought maybe..."

"Peter..." I had opened the box. It was beautiful. A golden dolphin biting the tip of its tail &amp; along the back was a row of tiny diamonds. I held it up. "This is a wedding ring."

We heard a thud &amp; looked towards the large planter where a Fireseed tree was smoking. A Ravenclaw man of either 6th or 7th year was about to collect some Fireseeds but noticed us in what was definitely a marriage proposal pose &amp; had tried to make a discreet escape, only to knock over a large wooden bucket. He smiled sheepishly, shrugged apologetically &amp; walked quickly away. Great. Now the whole castle's going to think Peter &amp; I are gay &amp; hot for each other. Kill me now!

* * *

Harry burst out laughing for a full minute.

* * *

"Give me that stupid thing!" Peter wrenched the ring-box from my hands as I leapt to my feet &amp; took a few paces back away from him.

I said as loudly as I could, "So when are you going to ask her to marry you?" I hoped that stupid Ravenclaw heard!

Peter swished his shoulder-length ponytail. "I was thinking close to when summer starts. We can use 7th Year as our engagement &amp; then get married when we graduate. Here's hoping."

"Good luck with that," I took a few steps to the wall, promptly tripping over a brick.

"You ok?" Peter snickered.

"I'm fine," I massaged my ankle.

Peter stared long &amp; hard at me. "Honestly though, how are you?"

"Fine, Wormtail," I gingerly tested my foot on the ground. "It's just a brick."

"Not that," Peter shook his head. "You've been ...well...really off all year."

"What?" I all but snapped.

"Everyone's noticing it, Prongs."

"Noticing what?"

"People are saying how they rarely see you &amp; if they do, for once you're not showing off or beating up some snake," Peter began. "In the start of our first term, you looked like death. You even play Quidditch differently now. But the most noticeable thing is how you treated Lily. At first, Jim you were even more horrible to her than before. Now you're just starting to be nice to her again."

"Things change," I shrugged. "But remember I was quite sick on that last week of summer."

"I know," said Peter. "But I'd thought it would have worn off in the first month. You're only starting to look better now, Jim. When the war was announced, you actually looked worse than at the start of first term."

"I sort of had a second bout," I replied vaguely. Technically, it was true. "You do know our training is all doubled up right? It's a lot of work, doing schoolwork &amp; those patrols."

"I guess so," Peter didn't seem convinced. His eyes wandered down to my hands hanging by my sides. "Then you ...just when you were getting better, someone...I can't imagine the horror of being crucified."

I watched a dumbledore fly into a carnivorous daffodil, only to be eaten. Peter didn't know the half of it. I wasn't just crucified, I was violated again though not as badly as the first time. "It wasn't pleasant. Sirius &amp; Lily both helped me a lot."

"So you are talking to Lily now?" Peter asked.

"Oh yeah," I said. "We're friends now. Finally. You know she's hated me for no reason for years."

"Mhm," Peter snorted derisively. "Maybe, just maybe mind you, perhaps you'll marry her soon after all."

"Yeah, maybe."

"Hurry up or you'll get left behind!" Peter teased, climbing back up the wall to finish putting in bricks. It was with great effort I didn't aim one for his head. I know he didn't intentionally hurt me. He doesn't know.

We spent nearly three hours repairing the wall. Our detentions lasted a week. I had seen little of Sirius outside of classes &amp; dorms, but what spare time we had was used to catch up on homework. Beyond that, Sirius was with Remus for hours at a time in detentions. It's for the best, I keep telling myself.

On our first free weekend when the last detention was over, Sirius brought me to our secret room. "I've missed you," He kissed me, surprising me.

"They can't keep us separate forever," I said.

"Nope," He held me tightly for a while. "I've been meaning to ask you," he began after nearly ten minutes of just holding me. "How are you holding up?"

"Fine now that detentions are over," I answered. "Stupid Peeves. I'll get him!"

His hands slid down my back to my tailbone. "I mean, how are you holding up?"

It took me a moment to understand that he was asking about Orion. This was it. He wanted to know if I was doing well enough that it was safe for him to leave me for Remus. I didn't want this now. Not yet. Just one more day please! But I knew it was the best time to do it. We've been separated for nearly a week. A week Sirius had spent with Remus &amp; they had probably gotten closer then. "Oh, um, I'm fine. Haven't really thought about him for a while." That was actually true.

"Good," He pushed me away at arm's length &amp; inspected both my arms underneath. "You haven't scratched in a while either."

"No," I was actually surprised. I haven't done that either but I knew I'd start again the moment he crushed my heart. Just get it done Sirius.

He pulled up my left wrist &amp; kissed the underside spot of the crucifix scar. "He's out of the hospital. I don't want him hurting you ever again." He pulled me close once more, kissing my lips while returning his hands to my tailbone, pulling me closer.

"Damn it, Sirius!" I pulled away after a moment. "What are we doing?"

"I thought we were having a moment while I was warning you about Orion."

"What of Remus &amp; Lily?" I flat out asked him, for once totally ignoring the name of my rapist. "Sirius we have to talk about this."

"There is nothing to be said."

"There is EVERYTHING to be said!" I pulled out of his reach. "None of this was supposed to happen! We never planned this. You were just to help me heal, but to actually—Sirius! I'm falling—fallen really—in love with you. That was not supposed to happen!"

"You're right in saying I was supposed to heal you &amp; we never planned for anything more," Sirius began. "But you're wrong in saying it wasn't supposed to happen. If it wasn't meant to be, we wouldn't love each other."

"Sirius."

"I told you when we started this, you're not the first rape I've handled," he cut me off. "In the beginning, it was just going to be me taking care of you like I did to her. But I never really loved her &amp; she knew that."

"Why am I any different?"

"We have much more in common &amp; we've known each other our whole lives. I for one, am not surprised this happened." Sirius took both my hands. "I will never stop loving you or Remus," He put a hand over my mouth. "I'll never leave you even when Remus &amp; Lily become more to us than friends."

"I don't see how it could work," I said. "One of us is a wolf."

"Shh," Sirius kissed me again. "Relax. Your heart is safe with me. I won't hurt you." I felt ourselves going down to the floor. "Unless of course you say something to me like what you did several months ago, but that's an extreme &amp; a good reason."

"Hey," I held him up above me. "I am truly sorry for that."

"I know," Sirius lay over me again.

We spent nearly an hour alone there. I didn't know how this would turn out but I decided then &amp; there to stop worrying about it. I stroked his back along the spine. "So, when am I getting my pineapple treat?"

"Oh, I forgot about that."

Sure he did! Later that night, Sirius left me alone in the dormitory with the box of pineapple condoms. He took his half of our two-way mirror that worked similar to a muggle telephone, winked &amp; promptly went downstairs claiming he had a lot of homework to do.

I opened the box at last but sure enough, there was no candy in it. Opening a package, I pulled out a long material tube-like thing. I stared at it.

"You know what to do," Sirius said through the mirror. "If you still can't get it by the time I'm finished this Stealth essay... I'll come help you."

I rolled my eyes. Merlin's sake, he wasn't joking. However he had forgotten to tell me one particular detail. "Sirius?" I glared at the mirror after ten minutes &amp; as many ruined condoms strewn about on the floor.

"Yes darling?"

I glared some more. "They're the wrong size. Too big. You should have checked the size before getting this box."

"Put the mirror down." I did so. "No no not down on the desk. I mean down. Let me see. Don't worry. I'm behind the tapestry down here. No one else will see." Merlin's sake, I hate this guy!

"Why am I in love with you?" I snarled, shoving the mirror down.

"No idea," Sirius teased. "You're not in the right position."

"Sorry," I muttered sarcastically, moving the mirror around. I felt really stupid holding a mirror down there.

"Still not right. Nope. Wrong angle."

We did that for a few minutes before I gave up on him. "I don't know! What do you want Sirius?"

And then he told me. "I wasn't even talking about the mirror." Sirius laughed. "I meant YOU! If you're not erect, the condom won't work."

"I hate you." Sirius was laughing so hard I could hear him just fine without the mirror. "Will you shut up?"

"Just give yourself a wank or two, then try it."

"I prefer sorcery," I muttered. "Quick twenty-four hour sterility charm &amp; it's a hundred percent guarantee. This thing's only ninety-nine percent!"

"Hey you didn't believe me so now you have to suffer the consequences!" Sirius said. "Wank it &amp; put it on!"

I gritted my teeth. I was never more NOT in the mood then in that precise moment when I apparently needed to be. Finally, after several more minutes, I managed it. Not realising Sirius had come in, I tried the next condom. But I let go a little too soon &amp; the thing snapped me like a band. "TABRENACK!" Clutching myself with both hands, I fell to my knees, eyes crossed &amp; watering.

* * *

Harry clapped one hand over his mouth, biting into his fingers. "Oh it can't get any worse than that!" Still biting into his hand, he continued reading through tears of laughter.

* * *

Sirius burst out laughing. "When I say suffer I didn't mean literally!" Several more obscenities of three different languages (English, Canadienne &amp; French) flew from my lips.

"What happened?" Remus dashed into the room. I'm going to kill that Merlin-damned mutt! "Wh—wh…eh?"

* * *

"Obviously it can!" Harry had to take a moment before the pain in his sides faded.

* * *

"Jim's trying to wear a condom," Sirius explained casually. "He's doing it wrong." Remus closed his eyes &amp; sunk his upper fangs into his trembling bottom lip to keep from laughing. "He let go of the edge too soon. It whacked him." Remus fell face first on the floor sobbing for a very different reason from what I was crying about at the moment.

"I can't get it off!"

"Why don't you just roll it off?" Sirius whined sardonically.

"It hurts!"

"You really want one of us to help you?"

"I can't even—!" Remus sobbed, rolling onto his side while pounding the floor with his fist.

"OK OK OK!" I gasped. "I believe you! Now help me get it off!" Anti-pregnancy charm for the win, salopes! OH YEAH!

"Aww do you want one of us to kiss it better?" Sirius teased.

"OFF NOW!"

"Oh alright," Sirius sighed dramatically as Remus rolled onto his back still sobbing, hiccupping so much he could hardly breath. Sirius came for me. Wait a minute. Are we really going to do this in front of Remus? I mean this was bigger than sneaking a kiss in front of Lily by eating pineapple. Sirius put a hand down onto me &amp; I have no idea what he did really. While keeping his back to Remus still dying on the floor, Sirius promptly jammed his fingertips up between my legs. I felt an explosion so sudden &amp; fast, that it was over before I realised it. "That's all you had to do," he whispered very softly, I barely heard as I gasped weakly. Sirius then easily peeled the demonic contraption off. He winked but his back was towards Remus so the wolf didn't see. That being said, considering how hard that monster was laughing, I doubt he even noticed anything. I crawled into my bed with my back towards both of them. "I got it!" Sirius promptly held the quite used condom up for all to see. Remus laughed, if possible, harder than before.

"Ahhh if I die any time soon I'll die happy," Remus gasped. "Best moment of my life! EVER! Oh! OW! OW!"

I turned over to glare. Remus was half-sitting up clutching his sides. Still holding the used condom, Sirius doubled over crying. "Same here, Moony. Same here."

"Perhaps I should put you down right now," I threatened from my bed. They only laughed harder.

"How'd you get it off?" Remus finally asked, his voice still high as he was short of breath.

"How does any muggle boy get a thing like this off?" Sirius wiped tears, then quickly explained. I was horrified. He told Remus!

Remus stared at the condom, then at me. Next, he pressed both hands to his Lycan symbiont as he giggled like a schoolgirl. "Oh Moony! Stop it! Stop wiggling!" Remus doubled over again. "Symbiont's squirming! It tickles!" Remus went to his knees, sobbing. "Oh stop! It hurts! Can't laugh anymore! MOONY STOP!" He massaged his ribs, trying to get the symbiont to settle while trying to stop laughing at the same time. "Can't breathe!" Sirius was in a similar predicament &amp; he, unlike Remus, didn't have a large squirming wormlike thing inside him to distract him.

"You ok?" Sirius clung to Remus, sobbing with laughter.

In a shrill giggling voice, Remus answered. "Moony's wiggling so much! It tickles &amp; hurts!" He doubled up again. "Oh Jim! What were you thinking? Sweet thoughts of Lily?"

"More like murderous thoughts of Sirius since this is his fault!"

"Is not!" Sirius held Remus up as the wolf collapsed in another fit.

"When you've quite finished making a laughing-'cock' of my bits!" I furiously turned away from them again. "Never again. NEVER NEVER again!"

* * *

Harry had crossed both arms over top of the album &amp; was sobbing hysterically for several minutes. When he had quite calmed down, he opened the album to the cat-scratch James &amp; lifted the picture. "You're a complete idiot!"

"Excuse me?"

"Condoms Dad? Seriously?" Harry spluttered out laughing again &amp; had to wipe away fresh tears. "Even I knew what those were &amp; how they worked since I was in primary school."

"Please tell me you haven't used one yet?"

"No."

"You are getting to that age."

"I'm thirteen!" Harry defended. "Fourteen in a few months."

"Hey Sirius has been at it since nine."

"Then why did you curse me with a pervert for a Godfather?" Harry glared. "It's bad enough I'm reading that diary."

"I told you to consider it our father-son post-mortem sex talk. Sirius can fill in any details when you rescue him."

"I already know about condoms Dad!" Harry buried his face in his hands.

"I'm just making sure," James snickered.

"Oh &amp; I don't think I can ever face another Defence Against The Dark Arts lesson while Professor Lupin is teaching it!"

"Yeah he was quite a jerk about condoms one night," James grumbled.

"So I've just read," Harry burst out laughing again. "I didn't know about an Anti-pregnant charm though. So, thanks for that. At least reading that bit of your writings wasn't completely useless."

"Oh shut up!" James glowered. "I heard you laughing." Harry turned away, snickering. "About that charm, it has to be done on all partners involved &amp; it only works if there's a girl."

"Well duh, guys can't get pregnant."

"Actually, if you're a seahorse, that wouldn't be entirely true."

"Dad!" Harry whined. James just laughed. Harry ignored him &amp; asked, "How exactly does a werewolf work? You've mentioned a symbiont. Called it wormlike."

"It's a large mass of lupine cells," James explained. "It's a bit like a large tumour, malignant in a very dangerous way. But unlike cancers, you can't cut it out. Separating the wolf from the host is death to the host. Once infected, you're in it for life. That's why it's so hard to find a cure for it."

"So if we cut out Moony from his heart, Professor Lupin dies?"

James nodded. "Harry, if you're finally at the condoms, well, you're going to read something about me just after. I hope you understand it had to be done."

"What?"

James shook his head. "Never mind. You'll understand. I hope."

"Ah, broke up with Sirius."

"No."

Harry blinked, but James didn't seem to offer any more information. Harry packed away his bag &amp; headed for the castle as it was getting dark. He passed by the Dark Arts classroom &amp; glancing in, saw Lupin at the front desk looking over some papers. Harry went in. "Excuse me sir?" Lupin looked up at him. Harry sighed before going on. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure," Lupin said. "Doesn't mean I'll answer it." He smiled to show he was teasing.

"Right, um well, what...what was the best ...moment of your life?"

The reaction was instantaneous! Lupin fell sideways from his chair, sobbing with laughter. "Oh Harry! HARRY! Believe me dear, you don't want to know!" He gasped for breath. "Oh! Ouch!" Lupin pressed a hand to a spot just below his heart. The Lycan symbiont was contorting with laughter. Lupin wiped tears from his eyes. "I haven't thought of that for ages. It's actually what I think of when I have to drive a Dementor off &amp; don't feel like barking at it. Dementors won't usually attack a fellow Dark creature," Lupin quickly explained. "But anyway, yeah it's pretty good."

"What is?" Harry pressed.

Lupin looked long &amp; hard at Harry before sobbing with laughter again. After several minutes, he finally pulled himself together. "It's your Dad really," Lupin began &amp; through many tears &amp; spasms, he managed to explain. "Nothing can ever beat that for me."

"Yeah I don't think I can top that one either!" Harry laughed. It was even more funny hearing it from Lupin's point of view.

"Hey you asked!" Lupin defended. "Oh man. What an idiot he was that night! I told Lily. She &amp; I had always been friends. She thought it was hysterical too."

"YOU TOLD MUM?" Harry gaped at him. Lupin just laughed harder, keeping one hand pressed firmly on Moony. "What is wrong with you?" Harry shook his head.

"Hey, anything to make James madder about that stupid condom!" Lupin burst out laughing again. "OUCH! Stop it you stupid wolf!" He doubled up, still laughing. When he finally sat straight, Lupin went on. "My Lycan symbiont was wiggling so much, it was tickling me from the inside." He wiped his eyes. "It did that back then to. It sort of hits my heart when it does that. I wonder if this is what feeling pregnant is like. Guess it's the closest I'll get to that feeling, eh?"

"I don't know you!" Harry marched from the room as Lupin roared with laughter.

The next day, Harry, Ron &amp; Hermione had Care Of Magical Creatures. Hagrid was worrying more than ever about Buckbeak, which pleased Draco Malfoy. This only angered Harry. It was Draco's fault this whole mess happened in the first place &amp; Harry would be damned before seeing anything bad happen to the Hippogriff if only to wipe that grin of Malfoy's face.

On the way back to the castle for lunch, Harry saw a huge round disc the size of a dinner plate in the water &amp; it took him a moment to understand that he was staring into one large eye of the Kraken who was rolled onto one side, staring up at the sky. Harry went down to the lake to get a closer look. His father had mentioned that these animals were in fact quite dangerous but Harry found it hard to believe. The Giant Squid never hurt anybody. It was quite tame. Harry looked towards the castle, trying to envision the parts that had fallen off into the lake.

The Kraken rolled over completely, then appeared as if to sit in the water, all eight arms coiled around its head that was turned sideways as if keeping one eye on Harry &amp; the other on its territory.

"Shouldn't you go under?" Harry said. "You're going to dry up." The eye winked. Oh. No, it didn't wink. As Harry couldn't see the other side, it was most likely that the Kraken had just blinked. It lifted the tip of one tentacle as if inspecting a particularly large suction cup, then went back to eyeing Harry. "I was sitting here for several hours yesterday afternoon but you didn't come up to see me then." Harry reached out to pet one slimy arm. "You really should sink. Don't you have a girlfriend somewhere or a boyfriend?" The Kraken turned a very dark shade of grey, nearly black. "Are you blushing?" Harry laughed. "So you do have someone somewh—" His face went serious as he stared between two coiling legs at the opposite shore. A black Grim was drinking water. Padfoot! "Get that dog!" Harry pointed but the Kraken sat there, useless. It didn't care about the dog &amp; probably didn't know what a dog was. The dog disappeared into the forest. "You really should have grabbed that dog," Harry complained to the Kraken. "It isn't what you think."

Again the Kraken winked...blinked. It coiled its legs around, splashing water over itself &amp; then settled as if waiting to hear a story. Harry stared at it. Glancing around, he noticed that he was alone with the Squid &amp; in a rather secluded spot by a high wall. No one could sneak up on them even with an Invisibility cloak. Harry sat down on the grass &amp; suddenly started talking to the Giant Squid. He was there for most of the lunch break as he ended up telling the whole story to a buffet of seafood waiting to happen. By the end, Harry was crying. "The worst is, I can't tell anyone. My Dad was too ashamed of Orion to tell anyone &amp; I won't mention it of course. You're just a fish. Well sort of, you know what I mean. I guess. But yeah, it all comes down to that dog &amp; I don't think he's to blame anymore. I don't know what to do with him or with Dad's diary. I wish I could forget he was raped!"

Oddly enough, the Kraken had sat there, coiling its legs back &amp; forth to keep wet, with one eye on Harry the whole time. Harry suddenly felt his hair get wet. He looked up to see that the creature had stretched out one leg &amp; put part of it over his head, a giant suction cup dumping water all over Harry.

"Hey!" Harry tried to pull away. The Kraken retracted its leg &amp; Harry shook off as much of the cold water as he could. "I have to go have a hot shower now no thanks to you!" He stood up &amp; watched as the Kraken finally pushed off &amp; dived out of sight.

After catching up on homework that evening, Harry went to bed without reading. The long anticipated match between Gryffindor &amp; Ravenclaw was the next day &amp; he needed to rest his burning eyes.

The match was intense. Everyone was focused on his new broom, the Firebolt. Harry tried not to think of Cho Chang while he desperately tried to get the Snitch before she did. For having an inferior broom, she was still an excellent flier.

But then three Dementors appeared below. Harry didn't even think &amp; made Lupin proud with his newest spell. The game was won &amp; it turned out that there were no Dementors at all, but only Malfoy being stupid.

The party lasted so long that McGonagall had to shoo them to bed but Harry was still wide awake with the excitement so he attempted to finish the diary that night.

_(AN: Ripped off Independence Day there with the dolphin wedding ring. Also Star Trek Deep Space 9 will clue you in on how I'm "sort of" making the Remus/Moony thing._ LOL)

*** Taken from book Half Blood Prince, Chapter 24**


	27. Chapter 27

**(27) I Am Become Death**

I stayed in bed when those two morons left, still laughing. I'm so glad I'm not a muggle. Non-magic safe sex was just way too much of a hassle &amp; it hurt like hell! About ten minutes later, Sirius returned &amp; promptly crawled into my bed beside me.

"Go away."

Sirius burst into another fit of laughter. "I told you!"

"Oh whatever!" I rolled away from him.

Sirius put a hand on my side &amp; pulled me back. Then he sat up, letting the covers fall back. He promptly pulled down the waistband of my pj pants. "Figured you might need a bit of help after that. Mhm, I can see a line of red where you got pinched."

"What do you want?" I grumbled.

"I thought you'd like me to kiss it better," Sirius winked. I glared. Sirius ignored me &amp; promptly did just that. It was risky what with Remus &amp; pretty much anyone else close by downstairs in the common room. It only took a few minutes. Sirius then flicked my nose as he lay beside me once more. "All better?"

"I hate you," I pouted. Sirius only laughed at me.

I didn't speak to Remus or Sirius for the next day or two because when we had gone down a short while after that, I found out that they told Peter &amp; I think Lily as well. I was officially the joke of the Marauder's Guild &amp; it was quite a while before I could face any of them without seeing them turn away to laugh.

I hate everybody!

Sirius finally got back into my good graces by cornering me in an unused classroom. (In other words, he seduced me once more &amp; I allowed it to happen all over again.) With Sirius &amp; I back on, we were soon taking advantage of any spare moments together as before. I no longer worried about the future. I decided to take any time with Sirius as such moments came &amp; whatever happened, happened.

Spring break was finally upon us &amp; our last day of the final term dragged. It was warm &amp; sunny &amp; the Kraken often made splashes in the water which we could hear from certain classrooms. When it was finally over, the four of us went out to the beech tree to start cramming for the exams after the break. Sirius &amp; I had the most workload what with doubling up two years into one &amp; we were still doing patrols though with more full Aurors present for tighter security.

It was too hot to concentrate. Knowing we would regret it later, Sirius &amp; I gave in to the pleas of Remus &amp; Peter, who were already finished their homework &amp; had plenty of time to study for exams while actually enjoying the break, to go to the far side of the beach to a secluded sandy shore only we knew about. We cut through the castle using our shortcuts &amp; went down under the basement to the wall of an ancient moat &amp; then came out in between two great boulders about fifty feet high. A stream flowed under the castle coming from the lake to disappear Merlin knows where. Just beyond was a small strip of white gleaming sand.

We stripped down to our boxers (well Remus kept his shirt on for obvious reasons) &amp; dived in. The water was still cold but the day was hot &amp; muggy. Part of one of the boulders continued on into the lake under the water. The sun shone brightly on the right side of it, leaving the left side in shadows. While Peter &amp; Remus enjoyed the sun on water, Sirius cornered me under water in the shadows. He had dived in right beside me. Through the bubbles, he grabbed me &amp; kissed me long enough for the bubbles to disappear &amp; we had to come up for air. He was becoming more daring in our secret romance &amp; it was really starting to turn me on. Leaving me behind, Sirius quickly jumped back into the water right between Remus &amp; Peter. He looked up at me, sitting on the top of the rock just scratching the surface, for a moment &amp; smiled quick &amp; fleeting.

I watched the three of them have a water fight but I was hesitant to join in. It suddenly hit me. This was the first time I was swimming outdoors at a lakeside beach since it had happened &amp; this time I had three other guys with me. I knew they wouldn't touch me (well Sirius grabs me any chance he gets but he has permission to do so &amp; I know he wouldn't push me beyond my limits), but it still brought up horribly vivid memories of nearly a year ago.

It was different from the spa since that was enclosed &amp; private for just the four of us, not to mention completely muggle. Out here, Orion could show up any time &amp; just grab any of us again. I know I'm being ridiculous. It's next to impossible to get to this little shore even if you had our Map. We never flew here on brooms so as not to attract attention to our private beach.

We didn't stay long since the water was near freezing still &amp; the sun soon moved away behind the castle. Shivering &amp; cursing why we ever went for a pre-summer swim in the first tabrenack-ing place (What? I combined French &amp; English...Fringlish!), the four of us headed back inside to warm up.

We slept in that first day until lunch break. Only Remus got up earlier then any one else. Swearing to finish our homework starting tomorrow, Sirius &amp; I took this one day off for ourselves. We ended up chasing Philip around the common room as the platypus made off with various chess pieces, making the others scatter in fear of his bill.

As evening came, I finally kept my promise to myself to finish the work &amp; entered the reading room that was set off from the common room. Only 5th to 7th years were allowed to use it &amp; it was empty by the time I sat down at the desk in the center of the small square room lined with bookshelves filled with books for subjects pertaining to the years. It was like a private library. About two hours later, I heard the door open &amp; someone came in.

Sirius soon appeared, dressed in his Auror's uniform. Arms &amp; ankles crossed, he leaned against the edge of a free-standing bookshelf, watching me. I half-smiled at him before finishing off an essay of Wandless magic to be handed in to the Ministry Of Magic itself for Auror evaluation. I finally pushed the desk aside &amp; leaned back in the arm chair.

Sirius marched towards me &amp; actually crawled onto me, kneeling over my lap with one leg on either side of my hips digging into the cushion seat. He touched my cheek with one black-gloved hand, then tipped my face upto his &amp; kissed me long &amp; deep. I was near the point of going over right then &amp; there, when he stopped &amp; leaned in closer to whisper in my ear.

"He's here." Sirius pulled back a little to look into my eyes.

I was about to ask who but I suddenly understood. The bookshelf to my left exploded as a wave of panic swept over me.

* * *

One brow raised, Harry looked up to the curtain at the foot of his bed. There was no question who 'he' was. His most recent conversation with 'Photo-Dad' leapt to his mind.

"_... ... you're going to read something about me just after. I hope you understand it had to be done."_

"Oh no ...oh please no!" Harry suddenly remembered another conversation with 'Photo-Dad' in which James had mentioned that he had encountered Orion three more times. He began counting, already knowing the answer.

War declared. Orion had come to Hogwarts &amp; harassed James. That was one.

Orion crucified James. That was two.

This would be the third. Harry passed a hand through his hair. He was about to get his answer if James had ever killed, outside of war, but now that the moment had come, he wondered. Should he read it? Did he really want to know?

Sirius.

For the first time, Harry read on for Sirius Black's sake.

* * *

I closed my eyes, trying to get my magic under control. I felt Sirius kiss me again &amp; focused on that. Sirius stood up &amp; stepped back. I stood up. "If I see him, I will kill him."

"If I see you, I'll pretend I didn't." He held my face with both hands. "I might even help."

I marched from the room &amp; went upstairs to the dorms. Sirius waited for me in the common room. I got out of my pj's &amp; pulled on my Auror's uniform. The cuff of my gloves stopped short of just covering the crucifix scars that man had given me. My wand slipped into the golden sheath, ready to be used. I headed for the stairs, passing a long mirror on the wall next to the door. I checked myself over. I was dressed for battle.

Sirius took my hand when we were nearly at the back of the Portrait in the end of the dimly lit hall &amp; pulled me close. "You ready for this?"

"It's now or never!"

Sirius led me through the castle down to the first floor. We stopped at the top of the marble staircase &amp; saw Orion near the entrance to the dungeons, talking to Regulus. We ducked behind a tall statue of a witch with her wand raised. Sirius kissed me again. "It's time to finish this!"

We stood up as one &amp; marched down the stairs. Regulus was already gone. The Entrance Doors were just closing. He had gone outside. We ran after him &amp; opened the doors to let in the dying rays of sun. Orion was just ahead of us.

"Dad!" Sirius sent a spell that hit Orion in the back. "What are you doing here?"

Orion picked himself up &amp; turned around, glaring at Sirius first, then his eyes landed on me. "I've come to see Regulus about a little pest infestation. I want him to help me with it. He's only too eager."

"You could have just sent an owl!" Sirius kept his wand raised &amp; I stood slightly behind him, also with my wand out.

Regulus came up behind us. "What are you two doing?" He shoved past &amp; headed towards Orion.

"Come on Reg!" Sirius complained. "Get out of the way."

"Why?"

"This doesn't concern you!" Sirius snapped. "That's why!"

"If it concerns Dad, then it concerns me!"

"Fine!" Sirius shot a silent curse &amp; Regulus was flipped several feet away to land unconscious in a pile on the ground.

Orion was quick to attack Sirius but I blocked him &amp; we were soon duelling two to one. We pushed him back towards the cloisters out of sight down one long covered archway. I knew we couldn't kill him here. It was too open. Our duel might already be attracting attention but everyone knew how much Sirius &amp; Orion hated each other. We had to get Orion out of the public eye. It was nearly dark so there weren't that many around, but I didn't want to take more chances than I had to.

Suddenly, Orion was flipped sideways off his feet as we neared the opposite end of the archway. He landed out of sight. To my horror, not only Remus but also Peter appeared. "How stupid is he?" Remus complained. "Attacking two Aurors at once?"

No no no! With them here, I couldn't drag Orion away to kill him. "We had it!" I muttered.

"There you are!" Orion came back into my sight. "Little wolf!" Remus paled &amp; grabbed Peter's hand. "I knew there was a werewolf here!" He raised his wand but Sirius blasted him back.

"Peter, take Remus! Get him out of here!" Sirius advanced on his father as Peter led Remus back the way Sirius &amp; I had come.

"Shameful!" Orion shot to his feet. "A Black friend's with a monster like that? I thought you could sink no lower!" He attempted to hex Remus as he fled down the archway but a Stag charged him. Prongs hit Orion with the force of a train, sending him flying across the open courtyard. Orion staggered to his feet. "Where the hell did you come from? Go back to the forest! I have a wolf to put down!" He started forwards but Prongs butted him again. "Alright, I'll put you down first!" Orion raised his wand. Prongs bounded off, narrowly missed getting hit by a deadly curse.

I heard Sirius &amp; Orion fighting again. We had to regroup. I bounded through the cloisters &amp; nearly ran Peter &amp; Remus down as I emerged to the open grounds spreading back to the Pitch &amp; the Forbidden Forest.

"Orion knows what Moony is?" Peter yelped. "Oh Prongs! What do we do?"

I knew they were headed for the Whomping Willow. I swung my antlers in the direction of the tree for a moment, but heard a yell of pain coming from the Entrance Courtyard. Sirius! I bounded towards him. I ploughed Orion over &amp; began stomping down with my front hooves. I saw red. I allowed him to partially stand up, only to ram my antlers into him again, throwing him up the stairs leading to the main doors. Again, I brought my hooves down.

"What are you doing?" I heard Peter scream.

"You're killing him!" Remus added. Sirius stood by, holding his arm where he had been hit. He was bleeding a bit. "Stop! Sirius—wait what...what are...Sirius!"

I don't know what they were doing. All I knew was that I wanted to hurt every last inch of Orion as I possibly could. Horns whenever he managed to get up. Hooves when he was down &amp; I bit whenever I felt like it. I never knew deer could scream until now. Prongs let out a call that shattered nearby glass as he reigned down his fury on his hunter.

"What have you done to him?" Remus was screaming at Orion now. "He's lost it! He's gone bloody bonkers! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM MISTER BLACK? WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE?"

"Oh Merlin! Oh Merlin!" Peter was whimpering. "He's going to die! Prongs is going to murder him! Sirius!"

"Stupefy duos!" Sirius said &amp; I heard two thuds. He had put Remus &amp; Peter out. I continued to pound Orion under me. I heard the doors fly open &amp; someone started pronouncing the death curse but Sirius expelled the wand. Prongs suddenly stopped. Orion was lying under me. Battered. Bloody. Not moving. I looked up into the eyes of Dumbledore, McGonagall &amp; Flitwick.

"That Stag is rabid!" McGonagall gasped. I must have looked like it. My horns &amp; hooves, especially the front ones, were bloody &amp; I was actually foaming at the mouth. "Kill it now!" She raised her wand. I bounded away into the night.

I washed my hands in the lake, then flipped the hood of my Auror's cloak over my head to hide the blood in my hair. I returned to the castle through a side door &amp; came out near the hospital wing. Dumbledore, McGonagall &amp; Madam Pomfrey were carrying a stretcher with Orion on it. Sirius was leading Peter &amp; Remus along behind. I have no idea what to tell either of them, but at the moment I don't care. Orion moaned. He was still alive. I shifted to Prongs.

Will you kindly die?! There was a sickening thud as the stretcher bearing Orion flew up &amp; hit the wall. Everyone screamed. "It's that Stag again!" Dumbledore now had his wand pointed at me. I bounded down a little-used staircase to the dungeons, Dumbledore &amp; McGonagall following me. I found a secluded nook behind three statues of Slytherin warlocks long since dead, changed, made sure my hood was up &amp; tried to calm down. They ran past me, so I dashed out &amp; fled back up the stairs.

I slowed to a walk as I reached the hospital wing's doors. They were all in there now, even Sirius to get his arm fixed. I didn't want to go in. How was I going to explain this to Peter &amp; Remus? Dumbledore &amp; McGonagall came back &amp; I hid behind a tapestry until they passed. They were discussing sending people off to find the Stag &amp; I knew they'd pick me for the job. I had no intention of wasting time looking for myself. They entered the hospital wing. Sirius, Remus &amp; Peter came out right after &amp; walked past me. I followed silently behind them, stupid as it was. Remus whipped around, glared gold at me &amp; then continued on. We ducked into an unused classroom. Remus locked &amp; sealed the door, then rounded on me.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Prongs?"

"He was going to kill you," I shrugged, trying to pass it off as another 'protect your werewolf' incident.

"That gives you no reason to attempt a murder!"

"I just wanted him knocked out!" I defended.

"Knocked out?" Remus glared at me. "He was knocked out a long time ago yet you still continued to beat him! What is this about?"

"We're just protecting you," Sirius stated.

"No, you're not!" Remus didn't believe. Oh he didn't believe! "There is something else going on here. James! What did you do that for? Really?"

"To keep you safe!"

"No, no," Remus put up his hands. "Something's wrong." He then rounded on Sirius. "What were YOU doing then? Standing by &amp; neither helping or stopping him?"

"Prongs had it covered."

Remus was shaking his head. In fact, he looked near tears. He turned away &amp; took Peter's hand. "Let's get to the common room. Away from Orion Black."

"We have to tell Dumbledore that both Orion &amp; Regulus know about you," Sirius said. "We'll be right up."

Remus looked back at Sirius. "I should leave."

"NO!" Sirius, Peter &amp; I yelped.

"That's exactly what he wants!" Sirius went on. "You're safe here with Dumbledore around. He'll fix it!" Remus just shook his head &amp; marched out, dragging Peter with him.

As soon as they were gone, Sirius turned to me. "We have to warn Dumbledore about Orion going after Remus. If he knows, odds are others of my family do. Then, we'll finish this." I nodded mutely &amp; allowed Sirius to lead me towards the hospital wing. Sirius explained all to Dumbledore &amp; then we pretended to leave, only to hide in one of our passageways. Sirius held up the Map. Remus &amp; Peter couldn't follow.

We waited. Madam Pomfrey took nearly an hour, but she managed to heal Orion enough for him to walk out. It was mostly a lot of battered bones, maybe a few broken ones. He had to swallow several different potions, but he was unfortunately fine. We took another route out of the castle to meet up with him on the grounds before he could get to Hogsmeade &amp; leave. I pulled the Invisibility Cloak over our heads.

We went down the stairs to the restored dungeons &amp; behind a gargoyle statue to a long lost door that led out of the castle. We emerged onto the darkened grounds. Sirius took off as Padfoot. I heard Orion yell &amp; Padfoot barking. The sounds grew faint. I changed to Prongs &amp; followed. Sirius met me by the Quidditch Pitch so I changed back.

"What did you do?"

"Come with me."

I put the Cloak over us again to keep us hidden from Gytrashes. They rose up from the ground itself as we passed, only to be confused when they didn't actually see anything. Wondering why we seemed to be heading to the Dark Forest, I asked Sirius where he was taking me.

"I've already had my way with him," Sirius said. "But I'll leave the finishing touches to you. I caught him. I guess we can take this off now that we're past the stadium."

I folded up the cloak &amp; tucked it between two beams under the stands on the side farthest from the castle &amp; closest to the forest. We both transformed &amp; ran into the trees. Sirius was ahead of me &amp; as I followed, I soon heard yells of pain.

"You think you're hurting...Dad?" Sirius put a sarcastic emphasis on Dad. "Just you wait." I bounded into the clearing just as Sirius landed another punch to Orion's midriff, making him double over.

"You'll never get away with this," Orion huffed. He tried to fight Sirius but I noticed a second wand lying on the ground.

"I'm not the one you should worry about!" Sirius backhanded Orion across the face in much the same way that man had done to me.

My rage at seeing Orion made even the mightiest trees nearby bend back. Orion looked up with one good eye &amp; a swollen black one at a great Stag. Prongs bugled &amp; lowered his horns. Sirius stepped away just as the Stag slammed into Orion, hurtling him right across the clearing.

Orion rolled away, coughing up blood &amp; I took the chance to shift back. Orion jumped to his feet &amp; whirled around but I was ready. I had my wand pointed directly at his chest &amp; blasted him back even more with a power bolt. "Remember me?" I slashed him with my wand, causing cuts to appear on his face. "That's for the cuts you gave me last summer." With a power bolt I held him in place while I ripped open his shirt with my free hand.

I nodded to Sirius who raised his wand &amp; held Orion in place. I sent a bolt of magic at the nearest biggest rock I could see, causing it to shatter. Then I attacked Orion once more. I yanked him flat on his back to the ground using power alone, then summoned over two long shards of rock. I soon had him skewered by his wrists to the cold hard ground. Ignoring his screams, I snarled, "That's for my cross a few months ago!"

I then aimed my wand at his tender stomach &amp; carved him much more deeply than he had done to me so he would bleed out. I sounded out each letter as I carved it in. "Can you feel it, you bastard? Can you feel what I'm writing on you? That was an R. Now feel this. An A!" I continued until I had carved 'RAPIST' across his stomach in large deep letters. "That was for carving me up while I was nailed! Are you enjoying this as much as I am?" I swung my foot, kicking him hard between the legs.

Orion arched his back with the blow &amp; turned his head away, spitting out blood. He started laughing! "You really need to learn respect, boy!"

"How dare you?" I summoned another shard of rock &amp; let it slam down into his knee. He screamed. "That was just for good measure!"

"Go on Jim!" Orion taunted through gritted teeth. "You'll have to kill me. Know why? Because if I ever get my hands on you, I'll make you sorry for this!"

"You will NEVER!" Sirius bellowed at him. "Touch James again!"

"I understand your attraction, Sirius," Orion winced against the pain. "I've ridden him twice myself."

I landed on Orion, straddling his hips. My wand forgotten, I began hitting every inch of Orion I could reach. My knuckles were soon bleeding from the blows but it only fueled my desire to hurt him as much as he had twice hurt me.

My hands began to flash green as I swung my fists harder, turning Orion's face to a pulp. Every last bit of rage &amp; hate &amp; fear &amp; hurt he had caused me was channeled through my sheer desire to kill him slowly &amp; painfully. I wanted him to suffer as much as I had once suffered at his own hands. The green light glowed brighter.

"Jim?" Sirius walked towards my head where I was punching Orion senseless. "Jim...JAMES! Stop! JAMES!" Sirius suddenly grabbed my shoulders &amp; pushed me up. "Stop it now!"

He had stopped me! After promising he wouldn't, he had bloody stopped me! I jumped to my feet, ready to knock him out so I could finish this. My hands glowed green &amp; that green was starting to envelope my entire body. "Si...Sirius, what—oh!" I suddenly knew why he had stopped me. The Death Curse was coursing through my body &amp; I was out of control. "SIRIUS!"

At that moment, Sirius did the most stupidest bravest thing in his life. He grabbed me in a tight embrace as death surged through my veins. He pressed our bodies close &amp; I felt every curve of his against me. He grabbed my hair at the base of my neck &amp; pulled my face back to French me. We stood like that for what seemed like forever, barely coming up for air, only to continue. I focused on what he was doing to me. His hands grabbed my tailbone, crushing us more firmly together. I put one leg up to press against his hip. Slowly, I felt the sorcery subside as I lost myself in his touch. The green light faded from my eyelids. I suddenly lay back over his arms holding me as he brought me over the edge, making me cry out.

* * *

"**ARGH NO!" **

Harry jolted awake with a start, Passion Year sliding to his side. He had been reading it non-stop for a while &amp; had nodded off. He had a very strange dream of chasing some silvery light. His Firebolt had been in his hand &amp; he had heard hooves before what he had thought might have been his father's release ended up actually being Ron's scream that had jerked him awake.

**Disoriented in total darkness, he fumbled with his hangings — he could hear movements around him, &amp; Seamus Finnigan's voice from the other side of the room.**

**"What's going on?"**

**Harry thought he heard the dormitory door slam. At last finding the divide in his curtains, he ripped them back, &amp; at the same moment, Dean Thomas lit his lamp.**

**Ron was sitting up in bed, the hangings torn from one side, a look of the utmost terror on his face. "Black! Sirius Black! With a knife!"**

"_**What?"**_

"**Here! Just now! Slashed the curtains! Woke me up!"**

"**You sure you weren't dreaming, Ron?" said Dean.**

"**Look at the curtains! I tell you, he was here!"**

**They all scrambled out of bed; Harry reached the dormitory door first, &amp; they sprinted back down the staircase. Doors opened behind them, &amp; sleepy voices called after them.**

"**Who shouted?"**

**"What're you doing?"**

**The common room was lit by the glow of the dying fire, still littered with debris from the party. It was deserted.**

"**Are you **_**sure**_** you weren't dreaming, Ron?"**

"**I'm telling you, I saw him!" ***

There was much confusion &amp; everyone was yelled at by Percy, then McGonagall herself but Ron kept insisting Sirius Black was in the dorms. McGonagall finally settled it by asking the Portrait, Sir Cadogan, if he had let in anyone.

Turns out, Ron was right &amp; he had slashed curtains to prove it. Harry was in a daze. After all he had read about that man, all the conversations with the photos of Sirius Black, he couldn't understand how or why this would happen.

Harry forgot about the diary for the rest of the night as everyone stayed awake in the common room. The castle was searched but Black was not found. When the daylight shone through the windows, everyone soon spilled out of the tower into the castle. Ron was an instant celebrity.

But the one question on both Ron &amp; Harry's minds was, why did Black run away?

It wasn't until lunch break that Harry returned to the dorm for the first time. Passion Year had fortunately been covered by his blankets when he had thrown them off. No one had seen it. Harry wondered if he should bother with it anymore. It was obvious Sirius Black wanted to kill him. He had just missed. Again. Harry sighed, then pulled out his album. He trapped Sirius alone &amp; lifted the photo.

"Why do you think you would run off?" Harry asked after explaining what had happened last night. "We're all unarmed. Sleeping. You're capable of blasting an entire street to bits. You went to the wrong bed. I don't understand why you didn't just blow the room up to get rid of me."

Sirius had been very silent &amp; still while Harry spoke. He had both hands folded in front of his face as if in prayer. "I don't know," he finally whispered.

"You are our murderer," Harry sighed. Sirius started shaking his head. "You have to be! What other explanation is there?"

"Harry ...no!" Sirius gasped. "Never. Not James. I wouldn't do that no matter what."

"Black," Harry tried to speak.

"NO!" Sirius fell to his knees. "I know I wouldn't! I know! Harry, I don't deny that I am quite capable of blowing up a street. Capable &amp; doing are two different things! I would never blow up a bunch of teenagers in their sleep!"

"Only because you couldn't!" Harry shot back. "You're a convict so your wand was probably snapped when you were arrested. You had a knife!"

"I'm an Auror &amp; illegal Animagus! I need no wand!" Sirius defended. Harry opened his mouth to reply but couldn't think of an answer so he stayed silent. After a moment, Sirius went on. "Tell me again of Ron. What did he say I did?" Harry explained it once more. Sirius paced within the frame. "Ok...alright. I cut the curtain of Ron's bed. More than one slash?" At Harry's nod, Sirius went on. "It could be I was trying to get into his bed without waking him. Er...I mean," Sirius smiled sheepishly. "Not like THAT!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "But you did wake him up…&amp; if it was for something like that, I will have you put back in Azkaban! This time for a crime we both know you actually committed!"

"Oh shut up!" Sirius glared. "Whatever! Anyway, knife. Like I say, I wouldn't really need a wand or any weapon, especially if I'm just there to kill an underage wizard." Sirius looked pointedly at Harry. "I wouldn't need that for you."

"Then wha—" Harry began but Sirius put up a hand to stop him.

"Give me a bit. Let me think." Sirius began pacing again. After five minutes, he finally stopped. "Harry, you're not my target right? That's what my real self told you?" Harry nodded, waiting, trying not to glare. Sirius went back to pacing, though slower than before. "The knife. Knife...that's a wea...oh Melrin."

"What?"

"Knife is a weapon," Sirius stopped moving to look at Harry. "You're right. I don't have a wand. But I wouldn't need it against a bunch of kids. Sorry. But you understand." He smirked. "But if I'm with someone in my own league ...Harry! I'm not there to kill you! I'm defending myself against someone!"

"Who?"

"I don't know!"

"Surely not Ron!" Harry retorted in a derisive voice.

"No," Sirius shook his head. "No but, maybe Ron has something that will lead me to my real target."

"Black," Harry huffed. "For what you did for my father during your 6th year, I'll always be grateful for. But clearly something happened after this photo album was made &amp; long after the diary was written. You simply can't know about it."

"I know!" Sirius punched the frame. "It's so damned frustrating!"

"Is it quite possible something happened during that lost space of time that turned you against my Dad?"

"NOOO!" Sirius actually grabbed his hair. "That much I know! James can put me through hell but I would never hurt him! I would walk out &amp; never return. Harry, I'm there. I didn't leave. Jim &amp; I are fine!"

"We have no proof &amp; we have no other explanation!"

"Harry!" Sirius slide down the side of the frame to sit on the ground. "Don't lose faith in me yet! Please!"

"You just attacked one of my best friends!" Harry shot back.

"He lived! He's fine!" Sirius retaliated. "I'm not there for Ron or you! Harry! You boys have something I want."

"Like what?"

"I don't know but you have to find it!" Sirius stood up again. "Tear the dorms apart. Look for anything unusual."

"How am I supposed to know if I find it?" Harry was getting frustrated.

Sirius thought for a moment. "Harry, I escaped from Azkaban right? So, there would be photos of me."

"Prisoner photos can't talk. Or leave their frames."

"No, but they can still move. Keep one handy. See if he points to anything."

Harry shot from his bed &amp; ran around the castle in less time then he had ever done until he could find a poster he could nick without anyone seeing. The Sirius Black under arrest merely half smiled sadly at Harry a moment before Harry ripped it from the peg &amp; ran back to the dorms with it crumpled in one hand. It was a rather disgruntled Sirius Black that glared at Harry, trying to smooth out some creases in his hair.

"You can hear me but not allowed to speak right?" Harry snapped at the picture. He didn't have time for the vanity of Sirius Black right now. Sirius flicked his long hair over his shoulder &amp; nodded. "Ok, there's something here you might want. You're going to help me find it." Harry found himself once more explaining the situation. This photo- Sirius had become so still that he seemed to be a Muggle photograph rather than a wizard one. He seemed intent on the plan &amp; Harry spent the rest of the lunch break, going through Ron's things &amp; even some of his own. But they had found nothing in the forty minutes of searching. In fact, the only thing Harry didn't bring the poster to, were the cages of Hedwig &amp; Scabbers. After all, why would Sirius Black want a pet cage? "Nothing," Harry scowled at the photo album, feeling out of sorts.

"Continue with the diary," James said, touching his cat scratches gingerly. "I know I left it out for a reason."

"Dad, he attacked Ron," Harry sighed. "What more proof do we need?"

"It wasn't Ron, or you, he was after," James insisted. "Maybe Ron has whatever Sirius wants &amp; you just haven't seen it yet. Try looking for a few new things tomorrow."

"I'll finish that diary tonight," Harry changed subjects. "There isn't much left."

"Ok," James whispered. "Harry, please save him. Even if he did get me killed, I don't care anymore! I can't bare this much longer."

"I'll finish it tonight," Harry repeated.

* * *

"Turn it off Prongs," Sirius gasped, holding me up. "Turn it off now."

I put my head on his shoulder. I felt weak &amp; chilly. I knew I had nearly killed myself with my own powers. It was amazing I was still alive considering what spell my sorcery had taken the form of. Shaking from the power of his love &amp; the power of my run-away magic, I slipped down his body to kneel on the ground. I was freezing. I wanted—needed—to pass out. "...Padfoot…" I felt myself falling to my side.

"Jim!" Sirius caught me. "Jim, hold on." He was on the ground beside me, holding me in his arms. I just wanted to sleep. I was completely spent in more ways than one. "Don't sleep! You won't wake up." He shook me awake. "Stay with me."

"Si...I'm tired."

"You should be!" Sirius half-laughed. "But you can't sleep yet. Not until the magic has righted itself. I won't let you die, Jim."

"Sometimes ...I wish you would."

"You thank me after for keeping you alive," Sirius stroked my hair, keeping me awake. I closed my eyes, wanting to sleep. "James, stay with me. I'll smack you if I have to!"

I opened one eye to glare at him. "You wouldn't hit a man with glasses would you?" Sirius promptly whipped off my glasses, tapped me over the head with them &amp; then put them on my chest. "You ...hit a man...WITH...glass...you idiot!" Seriously, why am I hooked up with this moron? "That's low, Pads. Very low indeed!"

"It's keeping you awake, isn't it?" He laughed at me.

"Yeah," I felt the sorcery settle within my veins again, becoming one once more with me. I slowly sat up. "Did we kill him?"

Sirius stood up &amp; helped me stand. My legs wobbled as if they were made of jelly. I leaned on him for support. "Let's go check," Sirius helped me to Orion's body spread out as if on a cross, lying on the ground. Most of his blood was pooling around him. He didn't move &amp; when I checked for breath, his body was still.

I couldn't believe it. I'm officially a murderer &amp; I don't care!

* * *

"Ok!" Harry gasped, tossing the thing aside. "Ok. It's ok!" He took in one long slow breath after another. No matter how he looked at it, his family was marred by murder. It wasn't like Orion deserved it. "Ok stop crying! It's alright!" Harry fanned his face with both hands before removing his glasses to wipe his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment. Orion deserved it! Fair &amp; square! It wasn't like his father had killed fifteen people in one day unlike whoever was responsible for the mess Sirius Black was currently in.

Harry opened the album to the cat-scratch James &amp; put album beside him. They shared a look, then Harry stared ahead at nothing. They both remained silent for several minutes. When Harry looked back at the photo, James was sitting on the bed, watching him. "You ok?"

"Do you know what my earliest memory is?" Harry began. "A bright flash of green light &amp; then a flying motorbike."

"That bike was Sirius's," James said. "The green light is a death curse."

"My mother's final moment."

James moaned, pressing a hand to his heart. "My sweet flower. I hate that she died so young. We both did."

"You became death that night," Harry went on. "When you killed Orion."

"I know," James hung his head. "Harry, I never murdered anyone else, but Orion ...you know what he did to me. You know he would never stop. He promised me that much."

"I know," Harry sighed. "I'm glad he's dead." After a few minutes in silence, Harry closed the album &amp; picked up the diary.

* * *

_(AN: Hmm, I notice in reviews how two or three have asked for more of Harry's point of view. As this is based in the Prisoner Of Azkaban setting, I had myself assumed that most of Harry's point of view of things other than Sirius is in the book/movie, (Such as what's up with Ron/Hermione etc. etc.) This Diary is simply a different approach on the innocence of Sirius &amp; basically can be taken as "excerpts" out of the main story. Anyway, the Diary itself is almost over (chronologically with POA Harry finishes it that very next night after Sirius went to Ron's bed as Harry says he would), but not this story. Then it will shift to real time &amp; there will be plenty of Harry's point of view mixed in with the canon facts as I do try to keep it running along side the main story, just a bit of an A.U., which is why I put in a couple of things direct from the book/movie to mark the timeline it's happening in. So hang on to your hippogryffs, it's coming!_

Yeah yeah. I totally ripped off Heroes...Sylar as well as Peter fans will understand. Pixar's Up to lol)

***From Harry Potter &amp; The Prisoner Of Azkaban book, Chapter 13, Gryffindor Versus Ravenclaw**

**Also, if anyone is wondering where I'm getting the side room &amp; the small Gryffindor study room (with a secret room behind that as well) its from PlayStation EA game of Harry Potter &amp; The Chamber Of Secrets. I had also used the password "wattlebird" for the Fat Lady, which is also from this game lol **

(I really hate these new FFnet rules. Used to be that the disclaimers on the front page with the first chapter was enough...oh well.)


	28. Chapter 28

**(28) The Blood On His Horns**

With a flick of my wand, a shallow grave was opened. Sirius rolled the body in &amp; I released my spell. The earth dropped in lightly over top. We left that place, neither of us speaking. As a silent rule between us, we would never speak of it. I grabbed my Invisibility Cloak from its hiding spot &amp; tucked it away so as not to get blood on it. We both transformed &amp; headed towards the castle.

We saw Regulus entering the Pitch with his broom over his shoulder but neither of us felt like tattling on him. We just wanted to get to Gryffindor Tower within a reasonable time before Remus started asking questions again. Regulus had probably sneaked out, expecting to catch up with his father. He can get picked off by Gytrashes for all I care.

We entered an unused girls' lavatory to wash off as much blood as possible. The only creature here was that ghost girl, Moaning Myrtle who had a huge crush on me.

With a groan, Harry closed his eyes &amp; echoed his mother's words. "Well, that explains a lot."

She didn't show up for once, probably crying about something or other in a U-bend. Sirius washed the back of my head as I bent over a sink. We both used magic to dissolve as much blood from our clothes as possible.

Using our shortcuts, we were able to get through the whole castle without meeting anyone. Sirius brought me to the Astronomy Tower instead &amp; pushed the wall aside to reveal the hidden balcony.

As it closed behind us, he put his arms around me. "You ok?"

"Fine," I was shaking like a leaf &amp; we both felt it. "I can't believe it's over. Padfoot! I'm a murderer now!"

"Nah, he had it coming," Sirius pulled me down. We stared up at the stars. "I'll deal with Remus. You just relax." He leaned over me &amp; began kissing me.

I had my hands around his neck. I felt something hurting them but tried to shake it off. I finally pushed Sirius away. "Something is...oh go away you stupid owl! I'm busy!" I gave the bird a shove. It looked sorrowfully at me, wondering why I was mistreating it. Ignoring it, I tried to kiss Sirius. "OUCH!" Bloody beast pecked me so hard, a chunk of skin was ripped off the top of my right hand. Great. More blood. Just what I need! "Oh give it here!" I ripped the letter from its leg. The owl screeched indignantly &amp; took off without a backwards glance. "My Dad walks in on us on three different occasions. Then Remus. Twice counting the condom...which I still hate everybody for by the way. No more! I draw the line at owls!" I lay back again, pulling him on top of me but we were now too busy laughing to do much else.

We finally settled down for a good hour…&amp; when I say good, I mean swell...&amp; when I say swell...

* * *

"DAD!" Harry buried his face in one hand.

"What?" came a muffled reply from the album.

Harry glared at the album. "Ever wonder why some people might actually want to kill you?"

"No, why?"

"Never mind!"

* * *

It wasn't until we were half asleep &amp; I was finally getting over the shock of killing someone outside of war, that it hit me. I was free. I moved closer to Sirius, feeling truly safe for the first time in a year. He began rubbing between my shoulder blades. "By the way Padfoot, ever wonder if what we're doing is rather, well … you know…incestial?"

His hand stopped &amp; I could just imagine his brow rising into his bangs. "No!" He burst out laughing. "That's between first blood only. Like if you're with your parents or siblings. But not grandparents or cousins. We're cousins &amp; not even first ones at that. We have a millennia between us on one side &amp; nearly a century on the other."

After a moment, I suddenly realised something else. "Oh but it was bestial that first time since you used Padfoot."

He laughed harder than before. "No! Padfoot isn't really an animal. She's a woman from a long time ago. If anything, what's between us isn't even gay since technically there's a woman involved!"

"Hmm haven't thought about it like that."

"Please don't think at all," Sirius went back to rubbing my shoulders. "It's giving me a headache!"

"Maybe that's why you like guys 'cause you have a little girl inside you," I teased, then groaned. He bit me on the shoulder. I rubbed the spot before having another thought. "AHA! It could be considered necrophilia since these Spirits have died thousands of years ago."

Sirius rolled me onto my back. "Shut up!" He kissed me to make me do just that. "Please, just don't talk any more."

"I was kidding Padfoot."

"Uh huh," Sirius wasn't impressed. "How's your hand?"

I had quite forgotten about that stupid owl. "Fine." I reached for the letter lying nearby. "Might as well open it."

"At least it isn't a Howler," Sirius mumbled, more interested in kissing my chest. "Hey I think you have a hair or two here. Ow!"

I had smacked the top of his head. "I'd have shoved it up that owl's pinioned arse if it was," I ripped it open.

I remember handing it over to Sirius after I read it. I curled up on the cold stone. It's been a while since I cried &amp; now it seemed I was making up for lost time. I don't remember getting dressed or going to Dumbledore's office. My next freshest memory was touching a Portkey charmed from a rock, landing in my driveway with Sirius by my side. I stumbled up the steps &amp; would have fallen had not Sirius caught me.

All I knew was that my father had died &amp; the stupidest thought kept going around in my head. It was apparently ironic &amp; somewhat funny yet sad that Sirius &amp; I became fatherless on the same night. Sad in that only one Dad was mourned.

Most of that night passed in a daze. My mother had held Sirius &amp; I so tightly neither of us could hardly breathe. It wasn't until around four in the morning that she fell asleep on the couch. While Sirius got a blanket to cover her, I headed for the large bath upstairs &amp; locked myself inside. I made three small scratches on my right wrist, one went through the bottom part of the crucifix scar. I stared into the white sink, lined with the purest gold, watching the red drops stain it. After several minutes, the last drop fell &amp; I rinsed off the sink. I turned to leave.

"Again James?" Sirius had been standing in the doorway for Merlin knows how long, wand in hand. He had silently broken in.

I glared at him. "So what? It's been ages. Leave it alone!" I tried to march past him but he grabbed my arm.

"You're not supposed to do that again!"

"I'm allowed something on a night like this!" I wrenched free of his grasp. "It's just this one time." I entered my bedroom &amp; began to get changed.

He followed me, watched me change without saying a word. I sat on my bed &amp; impudently looked up at him. "Oh you can't drive me away that easily." He sat down beside me. He forced open my hands &amp; inspected the undersides of each. "So many, Jim. They criss-cross each other. You're so scarred."

I pulled my hands away. "Couldn't care less."

Sirius stared at me. "I'm not even talking about the ones on your wrists, Prongs." He put a hand over my heart.

"I guess it isn't as over as we thought."

"No," Sirius agreed. "Now the real work begins. Jim, you'll bear pain of this for the rest of your days. Cutting won't help."

"It does!"

"Maybe for a little while, but it's just a façade."

"I'm not having this conversation with you again," I got under the covers &amp; turned my back to him. He took the hint &amp; didn't say any more, but he did stay in my bed with me. I was partly annoyed but partly glad he was with me.

When I woke up, I knew there was something I had to do. I crawled over Sirius &amp; got dressed. After a late breakfast, I took Sirius outside. Orion was dead. Regulus was at school. "Sirius, would you know where your mother is right now?"

"Actually I do, since I overheard Reggie mention it to his friends," Sirius replied. "She's at the Lestrange's for a month."

"So your house is empty?"

"Apart from that stupid house elf," Sirius shrugged. "Unless she dragged him along."

"Ok," I started across the beach.

"Wait," Sirius caught up to me. "Jim. What are you doing?"

"I want to go to your house."

"James!"

"I need to."

Sirius shoved both hands through his hair. "Are you sure?" I merely nodded once at him &amp; continued towards his house. Sirius grabbed my hand &amp; we apparated to the front yard.

We entered that house &amp; I found myself once more at the base of those stairs. I gazed at them for several minutes, envisioning my ordeal. My eyes soon wandered to a gap in the supports of the banister. "Why isn't that fixed?" I couldn't imagine either of Sirius's parents allowing a defect in their house.

"It can't be fixed," Sirius came up behind me &amp; wrapped his arms around my shoulders. "I heard Reg say that there is a magical essence there which refuses to go away. I'd say your magic is permanently infused in that gap. Hey, come here." He turned me around &amp; held me close. I was crying again. I thought I was done with that! It took several minutes to calm down. "Come on," Sirius suddenly said. "Your Mum's alone. Funeral's tomorrow. We should go."

I was in a daze for most of the day. Mum took it to mean I was missing my father, which was true, but at the moment, I just couldn't believe I had gone to see the place where this whole mess started. I wondered if I had been stupid to go now that it was over.

I finally stopped thinking about it for a while during Dad's funeral the next day. Sirius &amp; I would be staying one more night before going back to Hogwarts for the last three days of spring break. Late that evening, after most of the guests had left, I went into the garage to the Ministry limousine my Dad had. We were still keeping it as Mum can use it just fine. I took two steps towards it, then had my glasses knocked off by a flurry of feathers bashing my head.

"Peeps!" I yelled at our barn owl. "Watch it!" I nearly stepped on my glasses, looking for them. The moment I straightened up, she whacked me again &amp; dug her talons into my head. "OUCH! STOP IT!" I tried to smack her but she had flown up too fast for me. I stumbled &amp; nearly crashed into Sirius's motorbike which would have ended our relationship right then &amp; there if I had so much as thought about a scratch on it! I glared at Peeps. Then it hit me. The owl that had delivered the letter the other night was her. She was paying me back for my abuse. Oh well. Screw her anyway. I'm a cat person. So there!

I got into the back seat of the car &amp; stayed there for over an hour. I lost several years of my life when some moron tapped on the window. Half-thinking it was Peeps coming for more revenge, I nearly jumped out of my seat, only to bang my head on the ceiling. Sirius opened the door &amp; slipped in beside me.

He took my hand as we sat side by side. I soon had my head on his shoulder. Ignoring the lingering pain on my scalp from the owl's talons, I stared down into his lap, thinking over the past year. I felt him kiss my brow as he rubbed my side. In a rare daring moment, I suddenly found myself kissing him. I suppose I ought to be more bold with him as he seems to like it but I usually fail to think about such things, letting him do what he pleased.

I did not plan on the Stag taking over my mind. I didn't transform my body (which was good or else I'd be dead for skewering holes in the roof with my antlers) but my mind switched to Prongs. I kissed his throat as Sirius guided my hand along his legs. I pulled away. "Sorry. Prongs. Taking over."

"It is definitely the season for it," Sirius teased me &amp; I knew I went redder than blood. I hate when I do that! Stupid Stag. "Well don't stop on his account." Sirius winked at me.

I whistled softly no thanks to Prongs. I had a sudden urge to grab his belt. No, that was Prongs. Not me. I concentrated on kissing Sirius, only to end up undoing the belt without really realising it. I wish this Stag would leave me alone for two seconds so I could think straight…or…well…ok not 'straight' straight…I just mean clearly. "Mm! Dumb Stag!" I put a hand through his hair, trying to pass it off as an accident.

"Just let it happen," Sirius said. "Only, don't transform in here. Or ever when you're on me. That's the only rule."

"Mhm, obviously." I kissed him again, then moved down, wondering if I should. He had done that often enough to me. I never did anything like this before. After a short hesitation, I barely got him fully into my mouth when I decided that I hate my mother.

The car door opened. "Jim, dinner is re—oh! I see you're already eating!"

* * *

"I did not just read that!" Harry flipped open his album to the picture of James &amp; Lily with baby. "Know what Dad? I like my grandparents."

"Good," said James.

"Better than I like you," Harry burst out laughing.

"Why you lit—" James began but Harry closed the album, laughing.

* * *

I wrenched my face from Sirius's lap. I couldn't believe it! I pushed myself into a kneeling position on the seat, back towards her. Kill me now. Just KILL me now!

"Well when you're quite done with dessert, come eat."

Correction. I REALLY hate my mother!

"Although that look's like a rather big dessert."

Sirius now hates my mother to!

I heard the garage door close. Sirius &amp; I tried to look anywhere but at each other. My face was burning. Seriously hot. I needed something cool. NOW!

I cleared my throat. "Nice motorbike."

"Yeah thanks. Ride it any time."

Merlin help me, I hate Sirius! "It's quite big." I might as well go with it.

"Thanks."

Awkward moment. "You hungry?" I asked rather timidly.

"Hell no!" Sirius sunk lower into the seat. "UGH! But we have to go."

"Rather die!"

"You do know the longer we stay out here, the more she's going to imagine us doing, right?"

I smacked my forehead. "Let's get this over with then."

We sat as far from each other across the table as possible but it was no use as Mum continued to tease us. She set out our plates, then flicked her wand to the center of the table. "Condoms there…I mean...condiments. Obviously. Why would we eat condoms of course." Wait, my pureblood Slytherin mother knows about con...actually I'm not going to finish this sentence. Scratch it out! "Anyway," Mum went on with a sweet smile. "Here are your drinks." She set out two glasses of butterbeer.

"Mhm," I was so not impressed right now.

"Anything else?"

"I hate you."

She kissed the top of my head which hurt since that was where Peeps had harassed me. "Oh hush Jimmy Boy. It's nothing I didn't do with your father back in the day."

* * *

Harry spat out his pumpkin juice he had sneaked off with at dinnertime &amp; went to curl up on the floor somewhere, sobbing hysterically with laughter. He never knew his family had been that open about something so personal as sex. Aunt Petunia &amp; Uncle Vernon were officially prudes. They'd hate this! "Holy Phoenix! How &amp; why am I related to these people?"

* * *

"MUM!" I wailed. Seriously, I'm related to her? Two questions: How &amp; Why?

* * *

"That's what I just said!" Harry said triumphantly.

* * *

"You're the result of one of those times."

"I really hate you, mother!"

She just laughed. "I'll just leave you two alone, shall I?" She winked, heading out of the kitchen diner. "You boys behave."

"MUM!" I buried my red hot face in both hands. I heard a thud &amp; glancing up, I saw that Sirius had banged his forehead to the table. "After today Padfoot, I REALLY don't have any innocence left!"

"Yeah I … I got nothing man," Sirius groaned. "It's gone now for sure."

Sirius &amp; I picked at our food for nearly an hour before finally wanting to eat something &amp; of course, by then it was all cold. But we'd rather sit here, picking, then go into some other part of the house &amp; run into my mother. I never want to see her again for as long as I live!

It was late in the evening when we finally moved. We didn't see her in the halls or in the parlour or in her home office. We unfortunately didn't notice her in the sitting room reading either, until she called out to us in a sickly sweet voice. "Oh boys? If you're going to bed, don't forget a silencing charm over the door. I do need my beauty sleep you know."

I groaned. Sirius looked ahead, avoiding both her &amp; me. "We're not doing that tonight &amp; even if we were, we don't make that much noise."

"HA! You can be rather lo—OW!"

I kicked Sirius so hard on the back of his legs that he went to one knee. "Anyway, er…well…g'night."

"Good night," Mummy dearest purred.

Needless to say, Sirius &amp; I went to our separate rooms. I hoped none of us would mention the incident ever again. Unfortunately that was not to be. The next day, while waiting for my mother to get a Portkey ready to go back to Hogwarts, Sirius &amp; I were on the couch sort of lying over each other &amp; he was once more holding my hand. He suddenly sat up straight, making me start &amp; look around. My mother had just walked in. She smirked at us. I just closed my eyes. Oh well, at least we weren't doing anything but cuddling this time.

"Would you guys relax?" Mum said rather seriously. "All I can say is, about time." We stared at her. "Oh please! It's been obvious since you were kids."

Are you kidding me? I have no comment on this one. She's way off! I just glared as Sirius stood up &amp; gestured at the palm-sized model of Titanic in her hands. "Is that the Portkey then?"

"Yes," She looked at me. "It was your Dad's. You can keep it when you get back to school. Be careful with it. This is actual wood from Titanic!"

"Right," Sirius only cared about getting out of there as quickly as possible.

I however, knew there was one thing left to do before leaving. I had no choice since she had seen us. "Mum? Uh ...don't tell anyone. You know. I mean...Sirius &amp; I."

She gasped. "Ah a secret affair? How romantic!"

"Mother!" I snarled through gritted teeth. "No one knows. Not even Remus." Especially not Remus. "Or Peter. Don't say anything! EVER!"

She made a zip motion. "My lips are sealed. But do feel free to gossip with me any time."

Yeah, that won't happen! "Uh huh." I merely grumbled.

"Will you be alright?" Sirius asked, changing the topic. "I mean ...by yourself now &amp; all."

Hmm, subject of my Dad is just as difficult to handle. "Oh don't worry about me." She looked around the place. "I have a few friends to take care of me. You go get your full Auror's licenses. Summer's almost here &amp; then I'll have both of you with me!"

Forgetting previous embarrassments, I actually ran up to her &amp; gave her a hug. The reality of the fact that no one would ever see my father again had come crashing over me like a tidal wave. "Did you know he could be a hummingbird?"

"He flew down my cleavage into my bras often enough," Mum laughed. Ohh, how I regret asking! "There were times it took all my willpower not wring his tiny neck." Sirius turned away to hide a snicker. "Oh Siri? There's been some reports that your father is missing."

Sirius &amp; I both froze. My heart thudded against my Adam's apple as Sirius recovered. "Oh? Well it isn't my problem. Tell someone who cares."

"I suppose so," Mum sighed, pushing me away. She held up the mini-Titanic. "You boys better get back." We reached for the Portkey. "Don't do anything I wouldn't!" She teased right at the moment we were yanked away. We landed in front of the gates of Hogwarts.

"I wonder if anyone in Starfleet feels this way after beaming off somewhere," I bent over for a moment, hands on knees. Portkey was worse than apparating. It was only used in emergencies to cover long distances.

"I'm amazed muggle folk can do that on TV," Sirius said. "But yet they can't do it outside."

"Oh ask Remus!" I complained, standing up. "I for one will never be able to look at Mum in the same way again." I tucked the Titanic model into my pocket &amp; led the way back to the castle.

We never made it back. Both Remus &amp; Peter assaulted us the moment we entered the grounds. We all tumbled down the escarpment &amp; into the lake. We were quite out of sight &amp; alone down there, unfortunately. There was a vicious fight &amp; both Sirius &amp; I had to transform or risk being turned. Peter did as well even though he was siding with Remus.

It ended as quickly as it started since Remus, unlike us, needed Lunar power to shift to his animal. Padfoot pinned Remus to the ground, snarling viciously. I kept my horns lowered. Fangs met throat &amp; Padfoot hung on until Remus choked. Sirius then shifted back while still sitting over Remus.

"What the hell was that for?" Sirius demanded.

"Moony demanded it," Remus coughed, rubbing his throat. "You both disappear for a couple of days while there's still unfinished business."

"Jim's Dad just died!"

"I know that," Remus huffed. "Dumbledore told us...but Moony was still upset."

"What about?" Sirius still held Remus under him.

"What Prongs did a few nights ago," Remus said. "I know something's wrong but Moony wanted answers. I told him to leave it, but he won't. Padfoot! Please. What is going on?"

"Sorry but you'll have to deal with Moony," Sirius said. "We were just protecting you. Orion wants your head."

"That's another thing," Remus tried to sit up but Sirius wouldn't let him. "Your Dad's missing now."

Sirius shrugged. "We were at Godric's Hollow, remember? I really couldn't care less what that man goes &amp; does with himself. You are forbidden to ever ask about that night again. It's getting annoying."

Remus glared gold at him. "Now I really know something's going on. You can't tell me what to do though."

"Want to bet?" Sirius smacked Remus hard across the face, causing a cut on his cheekbone that started bleeding. I flinched. I know being in a wolf-pack is rough … but it's still hard to see Remus under attack even if it was necessary. "You've lost the Alpha rank ever since you challenged me in human form!"

Remus stared horrified at Sirius. Then he tried to smack him right back. Remus was stronger than the three of us put together in human form but our Tribal powers pervaded over Remus's human form. Sirius switched to Padfoot &amp; bit Remus's hand while putting a big fat paw on his throat. "What have I done?" Remus gasped.

"Sorry Moony," Sirius had switched back. He kissed Remus's brow. "I hate hurting you but you can't be the Alpha right now. I'll give it back later when you learn to stop asking questions. For now," Sirius stood up. "You're my Omega!"

Remus's jaw dropped, shocked at his new position. He sat half-cross-legged on the ground, staring in shock as Sirius ripped a piece of material from his robe &amp; wetted it with his wand. "I ...sorry. I tried to hold Moony back."

Sirius knelt before Remus &amp; pressed the damp cloth to the red mark he had made on the Lycan's face. "I know sweetheart, but really, it's best if I control the pack for a bit," He sighed, glancing around at his prize. It wasn't much. Just three subjects but he had earned us fair &amp; square. "I promise you, I'll give you back the leading rank later, probably during the summer ok?" Remus just nodded mutely, still in shock at losing the pack.

In silence, we headed to our dormitory. It was strange having Sirius at the front. When the four of us are together, it was usually Remus leading us. Sirius &amp; I were soon catching up on last minute homework, leaving Remus to recuperate by playing Exploding Snap with Peter. Sirius &amp; I eventually moved to the reading room &amp; had it to ourselves. It was then that I remembered. I used to be Omega.

I put my book aside. "I guess I'm back to Delta."

"What?" Sirius was pouring over 'What To Do When Dark Wizards Capture You' &amp; only half paying attention.

I crumpled up a piece of parchment &amp; bounced it off his head. "I said, I guess I'm Delta now!"

Sirius laid aside his work, leaned back in the armchair &amp; looked up at me. "No you're not."

"Oh? What am I then?"

"You're the Beta."

"The ...Beta."

"Yes," Sirius reached out with his ankles &amp; wrapped them around my legs. He pulled &amp; I fell into his lap. "I'm the Alpha &amp; you're my mate right now. That makes you the Beta."

Beta. Wow. Never thought I'd get this high in wolf-ranks. But he was right. The Alpha-Beta team was a mated pair. "Wow! Beta."

"Mhm."

I let that one sink in, considering the repercussions of my position. "I can't take my place beside you though. Remus will know."

"He'll know nothing," Sirius said. "There's just the four of us. You &amp; Peter are right behind me. Remus brings up the rear. They'll just assume you're Delta as usual. Neither even knew about us switching positions for a while."

"I guess so."

"By the way, about us switching positions. I put a few charms on that door," Sirius pushed his fingers through my hair. "Care to finish what you started in the car before we were so rudely interrupted?"

"Uh," I looked up into his face, then down at his belt. "Ok."

_(AN: Anyone who's ever watched the old Star Trek series tribble episode will definitely notice a line or two here. lol)_


	29. Chapter 29

**(29) The Sparkling Hummingbird**

_(In memory of Steve Irwin … he never liked parrots either.)_

I couldn't believe it! Now whenever the four of us moved together, I was just behind Sirius's left shoulder, looking for all the pack like a Delta but I was Beta. I was on a high. I'd willingly follow my mate...my ...mate... into hell &amp; back. By the time school started again, Sirius &amp; I were once more causing havoc at random. While marching past a group of Slytherins, one of which being my least favorite person, I ripped apart all their bags in one fluid movement as we walked briskly past.

Three of them tried to retaliate but Sirius &amp; Peter blasted them off their feet. Remus rolled his eyes. He never did like it when Sirius &amp; I picked on people but oh well, nothing he could do about it anyway. I was even so bold one day as to send a bolt of power at a mop bucket, sending the water shooting in all directions. Sirius was laughing so much that he didn't notice Argus Filch stand up from polishing a gargoyle...right before he, Filch, put a foot out to come after us, only to slip &amp; go sliding on his arse down the hall &amp; over some stairs, his new kitten Mrs. Norris streaking after him &amp; mewling pathetically. Sirius &amp; I were in pain after that one. Funniest thing I ever saw!

* * *

Harry also, was in pain &amp; had to take a moment to catch his breath before continuing.

* * *

We both earned detention for the next three nights in a row. Separately. I was stuck polishing suits of armour until my arms fell off since McGonagall wasn't the kind of witch to fall asleep on anyone, while Sirius had to help Hagrid make room in one of the unicorn barns for a dozen cages of various chattering parrots. Sirius hated parrots so much but I still think he got the better deal. He had to gather all their fallen plumage to be used in various potions.

There was one change however. In our first five years, Sirius &amp; I never cared who saw us (apart from teachers &amp; Filch of course) when we were teaching some sorry sod a lesson. Now though, we were sure to check around for Lily first since she, like Remus, didn't like us doing this but unlike Remus, she would come after us like a wrecking ball. It was easy since our main targets were Slytherins &amp; Snivellus was Slytherin but no longer on speaking terms with Lily. He wouldn't tattle on us &amp; even if he did, she most likely would not believe him any more.

I was starting to take control of Sirius more often than not now but our moments together were few &amp; far between. On top of classes &amp; homework for two years in one, we were earning more detentions now as I was becoming more like my old self again. Then, we had Quidditch practise as the final game of Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw was the last day of May. To top that off, we all had to cram for the last month of exams. Summer will never happen fast enough!

As the last game drew nearer, we were all treated to a surprise Hogsmeade weekend when we woke up to notices all over Hogwarts. It was the same weekend of the game, the day after the match as a special treat before exams. (In reality, Sirius &amp; I both felt it was to help take people's minds off the war since a particularly nasty battle had just taken place in Wales &amp; Voldemort had been there. He was not captured but he left several hundred dead &amp; a good portion of the students had lost family in that fight.)

When we had one week left to go before the game, I had a heart attack so bad that it was amazing I could play. I was playing Wizard Chess in the common room with Peter one night. Remus was lying on the hearth with a spellbook &amp; his Firefall owl, Nightstalker &amp; Sirius was in the far corner with seven different rolls of parchment that he seemed to be scribbling on at the same time. He always was one to cram everything in at the last minute.

Lily came down the stairs &amp; headed straight towards Peter &amp; me. After crushing his bishop, I looked up at her. "Care for the next game?"

"It's way to barbaric," Lily scowled. "I rather Gobstones."

"I can help you there," Remus all but purred.

Lily glared at him. "Yeah no thank you. Hustler."

"Ooo," Remus mocked. "Little girl's gonna cry?"

Lily whipped around &amp; stalked over to him. "I'd rather go to hell then play Gobstones with you! I know how you play! I know you're unbeatable!"

"Ohh scaredy cat," Remus winked at her. "We won't make bets. It'll just be a friendly game. I'll even be a gentleman &amp; let you win all three rounds."

"Don't do it Lily!" Peter, Sirius &amp; I warned in once voice.

"You will do no such thing!" Lily shot back at Remus. "I'll beat your tufted arse! Hogsmeade. Noon! Five hundred Galleons."

"OOOOOOOOOOOO!" Us four men just stared at her!

Remus stood up &amp; bowed like a Knight. "I accept your challenge m'lady!"

"Good!" Lily turned to me. "Uh, Jim. So. The Hogsmeade weekend. It's after the match so I was wondering...if...um, well would would, uh would you like to go with me?"

Time stopped.

There was a crash as Sirius's inkbottle smashed to the floor while he gaped at her. The Chess game played by itself as Peter &amp; I had quite forgotten it was ever there. Remus unfortunately stared with his mouth open, making the tips of his fangs quite visible, but everyone was focused on Lily &amp; me.

I had been after this girl since our first year. She had flat out refused me every time. In fact one time, she pushed me in front of a carriage &amp; I nearly got trampled just to get rid of me.

Now, after near six years of waiting, she had asked me out instead.

"Uhh...I I I uh…well...uh…" I was floored. What the hell just happened here? What about Sirius? Glancing at him, I saw him nodding vigorously. Just go with it, he had once told me. "I uh uh uh I uh." OHMYGODWHYAMISOLAME?

"Did someone die?" Lily glanced around at the shocked faces, then back at me.

"I um I." My stupid tabrenack-ing brain! Today!

Sirius hit the top of the table with his hand. "Yes!" He hit it again. "Yes!" Remus &amp; Peter took up the chant, clapping in time. "Yes yes yes yes yes YES YES!"

"Yes!" I finally managed to say.

"Great," Lily smiled. "I'll see you at the Gobstone game, then we can go get something to eat...or something."

"Ok."

She left. I blinked. What the hell just happened?

Remus was the first to move. "Well done, mate! About time! By the way, can I borrow five hundred Galleons just in case I do lose?"

"Yeah," I felt shaky &amp; weak. I sat down.

"He's right," Peter added. "I'm proposing to Zephyra on that weekend. You're so behind, Jim."

"Thanks."

Sirius came &amp; shook my hand. "After all these years!"

"Mhm," I mumbled. I wasn't ready to leave Sirius yet though. I loved him so much it hurt. It's just a date. Not a marriage proposal, unlike Peter.

It wasn't until we hit the showers the next morning that I had a chance to be with Sirius alone. He had gone in late &amp; purposely hung back. "So, finally got a date with Evans, did you? How does that feel?"

Straight to the point. Alright dumbarse! Two can play that game. "So you're breaking up with me now? Have fun with Remus!"

"You &amp; I will never break up," Sirius put a hand on my Spirit tattoo, currently on my right hip. "I'll have plenty of fun with Remus when the time comes."

"Padfoot, I don't know if I'm ready for her yet."

"You never will until you start getting a bit closer to her."

"It took me a long time to learn how to love again," I began. "Nearly a year! But it's you I went &amp; fell for."

"Which is amazing considering I'm a guy," Sirius pulled me close. "Jim, I'll never stop loving you. You're part of my soul. But you must go on at least one date with Lily."

"Why?"

"If it works out, you're free to pursue it with my blessing," Sirius said. "You hold a piece of my heart always &amp; I, yours. But if it doesn't, we'll go public."

The enormity of what he said had me rooted to the spot. "Public?" I stared at him. "What about Remus?"

"I won't," Sirius said. "We're good friends now again. It's fine. It isn't like Remus &amp; I are planning to fall in love. I'll always love him to but if things aren't meant to be, there's no use forcing it."

Public! That would rock the very foundation of Hogwarts, or at least the Marauder's Guild. Should I even let that happen? Should I care? I do like Lily. Like. Could I even love her again as before? "What if things do work out with Lily?"

"It's ok," Sirius said. "You've never even been with a girl, well unless she has fangs." He grinned, baring Padfoot's fangs.

"Not to mention lots of slobber. OW!"

Sirius hit me with the shower head. "I mean a real woman. Jim! Work with me here!"

"I know that!" I rubbed my head...the one on my shoulders...just so we're clear.

"I promised you I'd help you find your flower again," Sirius pointed out. "Even if you do end up with her, we'll always have each other. Maybe not quite as physical about it though since I'll go with Remus."

"It is what we were aiming for," I admitted.

"Some plans fail," Sirius said. "But if you &amp; Lily do work out, I'll get those God-children you've promised me years ago."

"Yeah," I half-laughed. "We had high hopes back in our childhood."

"Just because they're childhood dreams, doesn't mean you have to give up on them," said Sirius. "Besides, who knows? Maybe in our old age, we can simply get back together."

"What?"

"Actually, that would work just fine," Sirius went on. Uh oh. He's thinking &amp; talking. Not good! "We'll have each other to fall back on in our old age."

"You mean if Lily &amp; Remus die before us? Padfoot! That's cruel!"

Sirius stared at me. "Well I don't know about Lily since she's human, but you know Remus won't live to see a hundred."

"WHAT?"

Sirius blinked. "Sorry. I thought ...um...Jim."

* * *

"Wait, what?" Harry whimpered softly. Professor Lupin was dying? No wonder he had grey hairs despite being young! "Sirius, what are you talking about?"

* * *

"He has K9 blood," Sirius tried again. "The oldest Lycan on record is seventy-two human years &amp; that's very old for them. Most don't live much past the early sixties. Anything with K9 DNA ages differently, faster than humans."

I stared at him, both hands over my mouth. "Sirius you can't mean that!"

"Sorry," Sirius stepped away from me. "I thought it was common knowledge."

"What about you? You're Padfoot!"

"Padfoot is an illusion," Sirius explained. "It...yes Jim it! Isn't real. Padfoot is just a Marauder's name. But she is actually a human woman in the spirit &amp; her name is Tiny Bubbles."

"So ...you'll live?"

"If I don't die in this war, yes, I have a very long life ahead of me."

I stared at him. I couldn't believe it but of course, it did make sense. Remus was technically a wolf. He wouldn't live like we lived. He had the life span of a muggle more or less, not a sorcerer. Did he realise this? I knew then what I had to do. Protect your werewolf. I had to marry Lily. Remus deserved having a mate but what person would ever want a monster in their bed? Only one of us who looked beyond that.

Only Sirius!

These were my final moments with Sirius. They had to be. When I walk out of the showers, I'm walking out on him. I think my heart broke so much when I came to that decision that I no longer have a heart. "Make love to me."

Sirius smiled softly. "You never have to ask for that."

He leaned towards me &amp; kissed me. I didn't tell him, but I knew it would be our last time. We lay on the floor of the shower for nearly an hour, yet it was over far too soon. "You ok?" He asked after several minutes recovering from his touch...his last touch.

"I just found out one of my best friends won't live as long as I will &amp; I'm about to go on a date with Lily Evans," I was trying to make light of the situation. "What do you think?"

"I think the best sex I have is when I'm with you," he said, making both of us laugh &amp; my face no doubt went red.

"Thanks," I tried to scowl at him.

"Hey," Sirius put a hand on my cheek. "Everything will work out. Don't worry."

Truer words have never been spoken before. Sweet Merlin. How I'll miss him. I kissed him for one long moment. "Yeah, let's hope." If I didn't do it now, I never will. I stood up, dried &amp; got dressed, then I walked.

I walked out of the best thing that had ever happened to me so far &amp; I didn't look back. I barricaded my bed that night with every charm I could think of, then cried myself to sleep. By Merlin, how I love him! This was never supposed to happen. What the tabarnak is wrong with me, allowing myself to fall for him? No it isn't my fault! It's his! He's the damned seducer! Not me! But I let myself be seduced, didn't I? Doesn't change facts. It still hurts! More than rape or a cross. I didn't think that was possible until now. I know I will never fully get over him. I know I'll have to find a path through the mess &amp; lock it away in one corner of my heart, dead but not really dead.

* * *

Harry stared at the far curtain of his bed. In that moment, he realised he was lucky to even be here. What if his dad &amp; Sirius had stayed together, gone public? Then his mother would never have been part of the picture. He, Harry, would not be here. "Am I worth it?" Harry rubbed his brow. It seemed that every time his father had come out of one painful tragedy, he'd get tossed into another one &amp; get hurt even more than before. "Is Moony?" Harry knew his dad had a point. He had read up on werewolves but it wasn't pretty. Yet Sirius, who came from a long line of werewolf tormenters, could see past all that, even more so than Peter or James, neither of which were into guys in the same way Sirius was. Harry stared blankly at the pages for several minutes. "I hope Mum gave you some peace."

* * *

For the next week leading up to the game, I kept myself so busy with homework that there was little time for Sirius &amp; I to do much but steal a kiss here &amp; there. It was all I allowed since he didn't know I had broken up with him in the showers. The kisses would stop when I was more involved with Lily &amp; Sirius finally hooked up with Remus. For now, I savored each last one for it might very well be the last.

Old age. I'll marry him when I'm a hundred &amp; fifty. Long wait! I have no idea how I'll survive until then, but survive I must. For that matter, I have no idea how to survive putting Remus in the ground while I'm still young by magical standards. Part of me hates that I found out about that nasty side effect of having K9 DNA flowing through your veins. At least Fenrir won't live much longer. Maybe another thirty years. Tops.

I didn't sleep much for the next few days, blaming it on nerves of the upcoming match. I snuck in a few more scratches but honestly, I was nearly back to suicidal. I had walked out on Sirius &amp; he didn't even know it &amp; I'm going to lose my werewolf within half a century!

The day of the game, I ended up in very close quarters with Sirius while we changed into playing robes. Naturally, he took advantage of that &amp; I hated it. I loved every last second of it. I hated that I loved it. We couldn't do much, squashed up in a personal chamber that was supposed to hold one, not two, people &amp; having arm-guards &amp; bracers crammed in with us, but it was more than a kiss. I mentally kicked myself after.

We won in three minutes flat. I was a fast Seeker. Last match took all of five minutes. I'm getting better &amp; I could ride a broom normally now without any side effects. Ravenclaw didn't even get a chance to touch the Quaffle as it was all over in a blink.

I was now faced with my impending date with Lily Evans. It certainly wasn't how I imagined it a few years ago. I had pictured us running into each other's arms &amp; holding hands all the way to Hogsmeade &amp; throughout the whole date. Now, the date was a necessary task to separate me from Sirius &amp; push him to Remus, something I had to do whether I wanted it or not. Don't get me wrong. Lily's a nice gal &amp; I still consider her to be one of the prettiest things ever...it just has a totally different meaning now.

Back then, was what most people would call young love or puppy love. Now? Now I understood what old love meant. Old love is different from the young one, especially if it's with the same person. Young has no cares or burdens. Old has a lifetime experiences built up on it...&amp; I'm bloody seventeen. I also understand now what adults mean when they say love isn't just an emotion but a principle that has to be worked at. I'm supposed to be too young to understand this ...but I aged before my time. I mean, I pulled out several grey hairs a few months ago.

Oh yeah! I better get rid of any more today before going to the Gobstone game! What would Lily think?

Five more. I summoned five more greys off my head.

Remus &amp; Lily can't beat each other. It's horrible to watch! They were both getting furious with themselves &amp; each other. Both played savagely &amp; we had to keep shutting Remus up before he exposed his Lycanthropy to someone else. Finally we called a draw. No money was handed out. I grabbed Lily's hand &amp; pulled her away from the crowd.

"I'll beat his furry arse! Mark my words!"

"Good luck with that," I laughed. Remus was the best Gobstone player ever. He even beat Dumbledore twice several years ago.

We went first to Honeydukes so we both could stock up on our supply of werewolf treats (aka chocolates) &amp; I found Lily's favorite type of chocolate, a cherry chasm which was a large round ball of chocolate with candied cherries inside that changed flavours, sour green or sweet red or fresh from the tree. I tried to get us out as soon as possible though, knowing the guys would ransack the place sooner than later &amp; I wanted as much distance between Sirius &amp; I during this date. Everywhere we went, people stared in absolute shock. We were both dressed in Auror's apparel, with Lily changing her flat locks (or wait...isn't that an insult; straight locks right? Or no never mind, it's flat chested...something Lily most certainly is not!) into several large curls tied loosely with a blue sash. I had Lily Evans on my arm at long last. We both noticed money being exchanged in several groups. People had actually betted on us!

I brought Lily to the lesser known parts of Hogsmeade &amp; showed her several places most people don't think of going. She was amazed with my knowledge of the town. It was truly the first time we didn't fight or make threats with each other or act nicely for pity's sake alone like when I went &amp; told her about Orion. We were actually getting along.

I led her to the small Japanese restaurant at the far north point of town. It was a beautiful place, with the gardens &amp; the cherry blossom trees in full bloom. The tables were out doors on an island in a lake so small that the only reason I'm not saying pond was because of the creek running through the whole place, even through the building. People inside could sit on the raised floor with the creek flowing past &amp; the Koi fish swimming back &amp; forth. I had found out in our second year that Lily loved sushi &amp; it was yet another dream of mine to bring her here one day &amp; for once...this dream turned out the way it should have been.

Once we put in our orders, we went to the tables on the island. Lily snapped a bread stick into tiny pieces &amp; soon every Koi from here to Japan I think were swarming our side, hoping for hand-outs.

"You know Jim," Lily suddenly said. "This date certainly did not turn out the way I thought it would."

Oh no! What did I do wrong now? "I'm sorry," I began, looking up at her, only to see her smiling at me.

She burst out laughing! ARGH! It's going to be like that, is it? "You've been harassing me for years," she finally said. "My idea of a date with you was you grabbing me &amp; trying to have your way with me. Showing me off to your buddies like a prize you won."

"That's horrible," I hoped I said the right thing.

"Dreadful!" Lily shook her head. "I had you going there for a moment, didn't I?" I glared at her. She leaned forward across the small table towards me. "But it's actually the perfect date I had always dreamed of."

"Thanks," My throat was dry. She was totally liking me now. "I didn't mean to harass you."

"Oh you are such a liar!" She laughed at me. "It's what boys do to girls. Why though, I don't know."

At that moment, I did the stupidest thing I will ever do in my entire life, including the future. Believe me! NOTHING can top it. I leaned back in my chair, hands spread. I was going to say that I was a Marauder &amp; we all lie but next thing I knew, I was drowning &amp; being eating alive by Koi fish. Yes! I had tipped my chair so far back, I fell off the fucking island right into the water!

In front of Lily!

* * *

"OH! MY! GOD!" Harry nearly died from laughing. He stuffed a pillow into his face &amp; was glad he had once asked Hermione to help him perfect the silencing charm to block out sounds from his bed at night. When he had quite composed himself, he checked beyond his curtains but the dormitory was dark &amp; silent. It was around the time of night as it had been last night when Sirius Black had come to Ron's bed, but Black had yet to reappear tonight. Satisfied that he was alone, apart from his sleeping companions, Harry closed his curtain again &amp; turned the next page.

* * *

Needless to say, we got our orders for free for that one. I have no idea why. Though I think I do owe them a Koi fish or two since I probably squashed some when I fell into their midst.

We silently headed back to the High Street. Silently since I can't swear in any language in front of a girl &amp; since Lily would have died laughing if she opened her mouth. I hate her! She shook beside me as we headed towards the guys standing in front of Dervish &amp; Bangs.

Sirius was the first to catch sight of us. "So how's it go—why are you all wet Jim?"

"Shut up Sirius!" I glared at some point around his belt &amp; no not for that either. I just didn't want to see his eyes, or any of the others. Lily doubled over beside me.

"What happened?" Remus asked.

"Let me through or die," I snarled. "Those are you two choices." Lily was now kneeling on the ground, sobbing. I really don't like her! Peter opened his mouth. Screw it. "Ask Lily!" I marched inside without another word. After a few minutes, I heard the guys screaming with laughter. I knew she would tell them. I bought some stupid thing just for the hell of it. I was in the process of paying for the sneakoscope when Lily led the three of them in. I put my hand into my pocket for the money &amp; then promptly screamed! There was something clammy &amp; wriggly in my pocket. It squished &amp; slipped around when I recovered my shock &amp; put my hand back in. I finally pulled out a Merlin-damned Koi fish &amp; held it up by the tail. Lily dashed behind the counter &amp; grabbed a jar, then made the clerk fill it with water. She forced me to drop the thing in there (I wanted to kill it) &amp; then scurried off back to the restaurant to release it. Sirius, Remus &amp; Peter were dying by now.

I officially hate everybody for the second time in my life. I stomped off, forgetting my sneakoscope on the counter. I knew it would be a while for Lily to return from her Koi rescue, so I made my way to what was supposed to be our next stop, the Shrieking Shack. She knew it was Remus by now, but she had apparently never gone to see it &amp; of course, had never been inside it.

I left the High Street &amp; took a back alley to make the trip longer so Lily would catch up with me. It was then that I saw it in the window of Madam Trixie's Tricky Treasures. It was a jewellery shop on the very outskirts of Hogsmeade. It's a wonder that the place was a total magical one without any muggle stuff. She mostly had strange jewellery that would transform into other things. Some of it I was sure was Dark Arts crafted such as Biting Bracelets &amp; a few silver amulets for the obvious reason: werewolf repellent. But this one thing I saw was set apart.

It was a tri-gold chain, having all three types of gold on it intertwined with the white line in the middle. It sparkled like diamonds but it was the pendant that I was interested in, a tiny ruby-throated hummingbird, just like my father could turn in to. Each tiny gem was no bigger than the tip of a rose's thorn. The hummingbird looked so real apart from the fact that it was no bigger than my thumb-nail. The only trick on it was that the hummingbird had a bit of a glow around it &amp; it could flap its wings as if flying. It cost eight hundred fifty Galleons but such a fortune would hardly make a dent in our vault. I bought it partly for myself but with intent to give it to Lily.

I was drying out by now in the warm late spring sun, but my boots still squished &amp; I'm not even going to mention what I'm feeling up my arse right now! Swear to Merlin if it's another bloody Koi fish! I hoped to reach the Shrieking Shack first so I could strip down &amp; dry up (I'm not very good with the charm) but Lily was already at the gate waiting for me. Well ...murd. Whatever! Koi's gonna get some nightmares. So ...so there!

"Would you like to go in?"

Lily stared at me. "In ...the Shrieking Shack?"

"We have a secret way in besides under the Whomping Willow," I crawled through the fence, adjusted my trousers when I stood up &amp; then led her around the back. Using my wand, I opened a hidden door with several bolts on it &amp; brought her inside. "We do that so Moony can't break loose without us."

"I know you take him out on full moons," Lily looked up at the ceiling, then glanced at the stairs. "But that is really dangerous."

"It is if Prongs isn't there," I shrugged, wiggling my hips. I'm starting to wonder if there isn't a Koi up there after all.

Lily walked across the room, looking at the chewed table &amp; the rips in the floorboards. "How much of this damage is from Remus?"

"All of it," I said. "In his first four years, he was here alone &amp; tore the place up all the time &amp; himself. See where it's darker on the floor &amp; walls? That's his blood from back then." Lily gasped &amp; stepped away from a wall she had been leaning on, right over the stain. "He hasn't done that the past few years though. Not since we could change &amp; keep him occupied."

"Hogsmeade reports the vile spirits every month," said Lily. "He still comes here."

"Only to transform at the beginning," I explained. "In the morning we're so deep in the forest he just shifts out there. One of us lends him a cloak until we get back here for him to get dressed." She glanced around again, then started up the stairs. "Be careful up there."

"Why?"

"He transforms up there," I began to follow her. "You think the old bloodstains down here are bad. Wait until you see the bed he shifts on."

She took a step down. "Maybe I shouldn't."

"It's alright," I pushed her up. "It's part of who he is. You'll get used to it."

She reluctantly went to the second floor, yelped when she saw the blood-soaked ripped bed &amp; turned right into my arms. "That's awful! How can he do that twice a month?"

"I'll never be able to figure that one out," I made her turn back &amp; pointed out the piano. "We brought that here a couple years ago. No one can hear it outside this room. Peter plays nicely. Sirius is starting to pick it up."

"I play piano," Lily went to sit down. "I had lessons as a girl long before I came to Hogwarts."

"Careful. It's a little—" Twang! "Ugh! Out of tune."

"I can fix that," She ducked under the piano, then opened its top as she poked around with both her hands &amp; her wand. "There," she tapped a few keys after fifteen minutes. "All better now." I stared in surprise. "Don't you play?"

"Me? Oh. No," I said. "I'm not into music too much."

"You &amp; Sirius sung Ballroom Blitz."

"Hey that was a one time thing. Plus it was his idea, not mine."

"Still pretty good at it," Lily began playing Fur Elise.

"I have something for you," I held up a long thin box similar to a wand box when she was finished.

"Oh, what is it?" Lily opened the box &amp; stared at the necklace lying on black velvet. "Jim...you shouldn't have!" she held up the chain, inspecting the hummingbird. "Mercy."

"It's nothing," I tied the clasp around her neck. "Taking French lessons from Remus?" We both laughed, knowing neither of us have any choice in the matter. "My Dad could turn into a hummingbird. Learned how after surviving Titanic."

"Your Dad was on Titanic?" Lily gasped. "I'm so obsessed with that ship."

"Oh dear," I tried to not roll my eyes. "You do know about the curse, right?"

"Oh yeah," Lily picked up the hummingbird &amp; looked down at her hand to watch it. "You must really miss him."

I merely nodded, watching her play with the hummingbird. I suppose I ought to kiss her. Properly. I moved closer to her &amp; took her hands. The hummingbird fell back to her neck &amp; I noticed full well that the chain was long enough to place the pendant right at the start of her cleavage. Great! I found I couldn't stop staring at the place. "Pretty bird." Merlin's sake, how stupid am I?

"Thanks," Lily teased.

"I meant the hummingbird," I forced myself to look into her eyes.

"I know that," She smacked me over the shoulder. I was just about to try kissing her when she went on. "Don't do anything you're not ready for, Jim."

"What?"

"We don't have to rush anything," Lily said. "I liked our date, amazingly. But we don't have to do what most people do on first dates. Take your time. I know this must be hard for you."

Did she know about Sirius? For it was hard turning my back on him. But, I did like this date as well, I mean, apart from making a complete arse of myself in the fish pond &amp; I'm still considering if there's a Koi in my underpants right now or not. Something doesn't feel right. I also didn't mind staring where the hummingbird pendant dropped to the tops of her breasts slightly bulging out of her black leather top, right above the red ruffles. "I'm ok."

"You sure? I mean, it's been nearly a year."

Right. Not talking about Sirius then. "What's been a year?"

Lily raised a Spockish brow at me. "Well I guess you are doing better. Orion of course."

Oh tabrenack! I forgot she knew. Right. "Well, you're not a guy &amp; what I say next isn't meant to frighten you, but let's face it, I'm taller than you &amp; stronger. I can easily over power you even without magic."

"I'm no threat in other words," Lily blatantly replied.

"Not really," I had suddenly lost my voice &amp; was now speaking so softly, Remus would have problems hearing me.

She raised her hands towards me. "Do you trust me?" I simply nodded so she stepped into my arms &amp; held me close in much the same way Sirius did. It felt nearly the same, safety &amp; caring, but the curves were all different. "If you ever want to talk ..."

What to say for something like this? What can anyone say? "I had once planned to marry you if it was the last thing I did." That right there might drive her away but it was the first thing that came to mind. However, she didn't say or do anything. "I saved myself for you. No other girls. He destroyed all that. Now, I'm afraid of hurting you. What if we do get together? Marry? I might be too hard on you in bed. I know how to hurt people like that. I don't want to of course. It wasn't something I wanted to learn. It's why I avoided you most of this year."

"If we marry, we don't have to do anything until you're ready for it," Lily said &amp; I suddenly had a feeling that my necklace gift was our engagement. We're discussing marriage on our first date. We haven't even kissed properly yet; though she did see me in my birthday suit through no fault of my own. Twice!

"I am so terrified of hurting you, Lily."

"You won't." She took off her bracelet. It was a very thin gold band with diamonds all around it &amp; held it up.

"Be prepared for a sight," I muttered, undoing my cuffs &amp; holding up both wrists for her to choose, palm up. Her eyes widened at the sight of dozens of tiny scars criss-crossing each other &amp; the large round indents where I was crucified. She put the bracelet on my left wrist without mentioning the scars &amp; just like that, we were engaged.

The hummingbird fluttered wildly as I leaned in to kiss her &amp; it was then I knew for certain. After a polite time had passed, I wrenched myself away from her. "I'm sorry Lily-kins but this would be so much more romantic if I didn't have a swear-word-of-your choice Koi fish humping my arse right now!" Lily stared at me as I moved away &amp; undid my belt clasp. I cast an awkward glance at her, then decided not to care. "Uh ...well you've seen it all anyway." At that, much to her horror or amusement I don't rightly care, I dropped my trousers, then stood up straight for a moment. "Twice really." I bent over a little once more &amp; literally fished around until I caught the beast by its tail. "Can I kill it? PLEASE?"

* * *

Harry just stared at the old page for several minutes, mouth agape in a silent laugh that shook his whole body.

* * *

Lily burst out laughing. I threw it on the bed &amp; redid my belt. I hate Kois. So much! Just so much! "It's ok Jim," she snickered. "At least I know that your Koi fish is rather big."

Oh no she didn't! I glared at her. "Lily if you EVER call my penis a Koi fish again, I'll KILL you!"

* * *

Harry had one hand over his mouth &amp; the other wiping his eyes. "This? THIS is how they get together? Are you kidding me?"

* * *

"Compliment a man on his size &amp; earn a death threat," Lily sighed as she continued laughing at me. "Whatever shall I do?"

"Let's go!" I smiled oh-so-sweetly, grabbing her hand. She summoned the fish over &amp; put it in her pocket along with a spell of water to keep it going. "Seriously? Lily?"

"What? I'll put it back in the pond."

"Moony would have loved eating that thing, you know!"

We unfortunately went back to the restaurant to toss the Satanic fish back with its equally Satanic family of minions, then made our way back to High Street to head back for Hogwarts. We met the guys, along with Zephyra clutching Peter's arm like an African princess, as we turned down the street leading through the grounds towards the castle.

"I have an announcement!" Peter said &amp; Zephrya giggled. They both flashed their left hands. As Sirius &amp; Remus cooed over their engagement, I hung back with Lily.

When the four of them turned to us, I looked long &amp; hard at Sirius. This was truly goodbye. I'll miss him, but something happened between Lily &amp; I that I didn't want to lose any time soon. "Well, uh, so do we." I held up my wrist, exposing the bracelet while Lily indicated her hummingbird. But I had eyes only for Sirius, gauging his reaction. So far, he was only half-smiling at me &amp; nothing more.

"Wait, WHAT?" Remus gaped at us while Peter &amp; Zephyra stared.

"We got engaged on our first date!" Lily giggled as much as Zephyra. What is with girls &amp; giggling anyway?

"Oh come on Jim!" Remus huffed. "Worst prank EVER!"

I just shook my head. "No prank."

"Jim," Remus slowly stopped laughing. "James...Prongs? OH MY!"

"He must have put a Confundus charm on her!" Peter stared.

"I think it's the other way around," Sirius teased, never taking his eyes off me.

"YOU...PROPOSED?" Remus continued to gape at us. "However did you manage it?"

"Well I, really I just got her that necklace &amp; she gave me this &amp; then we kissed &amp; that was it," I shut up, realising I was babbling.

Lily burst out laughing. "He did all that with a Koi fish up his butt!"

"LILY!" I sobbed.

"I'm not kidding!" Lily was dying. "Right after we kissed, he wrenched open his trousers &amp; pulled out another fish!" She fell on the ground &amp; rolled around laughing.

"My God Lily! If you weren't a woman!" I raised my foot to kick her but lowered it again. She only laughed harder.

Sirius, of all people, was the first to congratulate me. While the others huddled around Lily, Sirius pulled me close one last time. "Well done, sweetheart."

"Sirius."

"It's ok, we'll always love each other," He pressed his lips quickly to my neck.

"I'll miss you."

"Don't," Sirius replied. "Don't worry. I'll always be there for you if you need me."

"Ok," I was crying again. I turned away before the others came for me &amp; wiped my eyes. "I'm sorry, Sirius. It just happened."

"That's good. Let it happen." He put a hand on my back, then went back to the gang. Back to Remus's side. Well good luck with each other. I finally joined them.

"Can't believe you finally got Lily to agree to marry you!" Peter said the moment I was within grabbing range. I was pulled to the center of the crowd &amp; put next to Lily.

"I guess we have two weddings to prepare," Remus said.

"No Kois!" I glared, earning laughter.

"No parrots either," Sirius grumbled. "Oh &amp; you forgot this!" He tossed me the sneakoscope, which was bizarrely whistling to announce someone untrustworthy nearby. Now that I think of it, all four Marauders were together. Not one single one of us is trustworthy &amp; proud of it!

That or there was another Merlin-forsaken Koi somewhere nearby.

I was in a daze all the way back to Gryffindor Tower. My first &amp; only date with Lily turned into an engagement. I was officially off with Sirius &amp; he knew it. I'm going to marry Lily Evans. When I don't know. I suppose we should sort those details out sooner or later. Everything had happened so fast. Just go with it, Sirius always told me. Oddly enough, I felt fine so long as I didn't dwell too much on the pang of missing Sirius. I have no regrets with him, well apart from some stupid thing I had said over the Christmas holidays but we cleared that up.

I was in Gryffindor's personal reading room late that night, just taking a break from the tumultuous day when Sirius caught me alone. He dropped into the armchair beside me, took my hand &amp; kissed it. "You ok?"

"I think so."

He released my hand. "I wanted to say goodbye properly."

"I didn't mean for it to happen this fast."

"Just go with it," Sirius got up &amp; stood beside me. He kissed me, truly for the last time. It was lingering &amp; deep. All too soon, he pulled away. He held up some rolled up parchments. "I've pulled down as many as I could when no one was looking. Thought you ought to know though, since I can never get them all." He handed me one &amp; I unrolled it. Orion's face glared up at me. It was a 'Missing' poster. "They went up all over Hogsmeade &amp; here at the castle to. I'll take your secret to the grave, Jim. Don't worry."

"Oh ...no," I doubled over, suddenly feeling sick. "I hate him so!" I was crying again, I hope for the last time.

"Easy Prongs," Sirius pushed me back &amp; knelt in front of me. "He's dead. It's over. I'm here." I felt his fingertips slip under my cuffs to pet my crucifix marks.

I needed a distraction or I would die right then &amp; there. "Are you ok, Padfoot? Me &amp; Lily. Are you sure?"

"If it was any other girl, I wouldn't be," Sirius stood up. "We were aiming for Lily this whole time, after all. Besides as I'm sure you've noticed, Remus &amp; I have been getting closer lately. I haven't mentioned anything to him yet. Just let it happen. Isn't that what I always say?"

"Yeah," I actually managed a weak laugh. "But just wait until you're fat &amp; wrinkled like a prune &amp; using a cane. I'll get you!"

"Me? Fat? NEVER!" Sirius was aghast at the mere horror of ruining his handsome physique.

"You really are quite gay Sirius!"

"Why thank you my handsome man!" He bowed low.

"Padfoot!" I gritted my teeth &amp; pointed to the door. "Get out of here. You're embarrassing me."

"See?" Sirius was suddenly …erm….you know. "I can still make you blush."

"OUT!" My face was definitely red as a beet as he snickered at me before leaving.


	30. Chapter 30

**(30) A Train In Scarlett**

I'm starting to learn to feel panic whenever things start looking up for me. I have never had a worse end to a school term then the finale of my sixth year. Just when I thought things were going well, everything that could go wrong did go wrong. I'm currently sitting alone over the double grave, wondering why I can't seem to have a normal life like any other young adult. This whole mess started during our final week of exams.

Sirius &amp; I were on patrol one night, when he happened to count cars as the Hogwarts Express zoomed past us on its 'Red Eye' trip. "Huh, I don't get it. There are only twenty cars this time."

I rolled my eyes. "Maybe it's a short trip."

We cut through a part of the forest to cut our patrol a bit. It wasn't like we couldn't see or hear anything that happened on our route. We ended up on the tracks. Sirius glanced both ways before saying, "Let's follow them back."

Ok now that would take us away from our designated route. I sighed heavily. "But that's way longer!"

"It won't take too long once we're far away enough to transform."

"Fine," I grumbled tiredly.

Once in the forest, we both transformed &amp; bounded along the extra track that Remus &amp; I had once found. Dumbledore has had it disconnected from the main track &amp; was planning to uproot it completely during the summer. We came upon the clearing where the track could sink into the ground, only to find a group of five men there, working on something. One looked up &amp; noticed a Stag &amp; a large dog that suspiciously looked like a Grim. He nearly panicked, but his friends didn't seem to care about us.

Padfoot ran off to the other side, out of sight. Prongs stood complacently, chewing cud but kept his ears pricked forward. Right by the part where the track could open into the ground, was some sort of machine attached to the track. It seemed to be the wheel that would open the hole.

Another man tapped it with his wand &amp; it promptly disappeared. "Alright, done. They won't know what hit them." The group immediately apparated.

We moved in for a better look. "Disillusionment Charm," Sirius undid it &amp; the crank reappeared. "Let's see what's down there shall we?" With another tap, it turned &amp; the hole slowly but surely opened up as the track above it revolved slowly downward. We jumped onto it.

"There's the connecting wheel," I pointed at an exact replica of the crank above as the track went back up &amp; the hole closed over.

Sirius swung his wand over his head &amp; cast a maximum Lumos ball down a long tunnel. A tube built under ground. "That looks like it goes all the way back to the castle."

I did a similar charm in the opposite direction. "That one looks like it's headed for Hogsmeade." Sirius &amp; I stepped backwards towards each other until we were back to back. We both yelped.

"Sorry," Sirius muttered.

"This isn't right," I looked up &amp; down the length of the train tunnel. "Dumbledore said that track wasn't even supposed to be there."

We started down the side that seemed to head to Hogwarts. An alarm that clanged like a Klaxon on board the Enterprise filled our ears &amp; several golden strings of light criss-crossed the path, blocking our way. Sirius yelped has his shoulder went through one. "Jim watch it, they cut!" He clutched his bleeding shoulder.

"Let's get out of here," I stepped back to the wheel. "We'll tell Dumbledore."

The wheel was clear &amp; we managed to get out &amp; transform barely in time. The group was back. We listened in, but they mostly complained about a false alarm &amp; blamed 'that damn Stag or Dog must've done it' on Padfoot &amp; Prongs. If only they had known how right they were, they would have saved themselves a lot of trouble. We bounded away before they could kill us for the hell of it.

Once human again &amp; inside the castle, Sirius suddenly grabbed my hand. "Wait. How are we going to tell Dumbledore? We left our post."

"Tell him we saw something suspicious."

"Like he'd fall for that."

"But we did Padfoot," I said. "We counted the train cars, remember?"

"Let's hope it's enough."

After a quick stop by the hospital wing to fix Sirius's shoulder, we headed for the spiralling staircase. As predicted, Dumbledore stated the obvious first. "You left your patrol &amp; returned once more to that forest?"

"Not really," Sirius defended. "Well the forest part obviously but ...we only took a few minutes."

"That old track wasn't too far out of the way," I added. "We figured we ought to check it after seeing the train missing cars. It only took a moment."

I realised our mistake but had no way out of it. As animals, we were much faster but Dumbledore didn't know we were Animagi. All he knew that it was a long walk to that track by human standards. Hmm maybe I could blame it on a broomstick. Yeah, that'll work. I'm not sure if Dumbledore glared at us or not but he did stare for a full minute before going on. "I have had full Aurors search the place before. No such switch was found."

"Which would suggest they're stupid," Sirius muttered. Now Dumbledore really did glare.

"Or the crank is a new thing," I tried to cover his blunder. Granted, Sirius does have a point. Not our fault or problem that other Aurors aren't illegal Animagi.

"But why would they have added something to it if the track has already been disconnected?" Sirius glared.

"Why indeed," Dumbledore at least, seemed to like my explanation.

"Perhaps what they already need is down there."

"Very good, Mr. Potter. I believe you may be right," Dumbledore went to the window &amp; gazed out into the night for a moment. "There are exactly twenty eight cars for the Hogwarts Express. Twenty four make up the train &amp; four reserves in Hogsmeade to switch for repairs &amp; whatnot. I have had Aurors on the train constantly &amp; others patrolling that track you had found. It is strange that you should happen upon an amazing discovery like this while on a training patrol."

"Just got lucky," Sirius shrugged.

"Yes, well," Dumbledore sighed, casting suspicious glances at both of us. "Let us hope that Lady Luck continues to favour us. You two better get to bed before classes start."

Fawkes chirped as we left. Sirius stretched his arms until something cracked. "That went better than I thought. I was sure he'd be mad about entering that forest."

"We're getting careless Padfoot," I sent a Glacius spell down the stairs leading to the Slytherin dungeons, covering the stone floor with ice. Three snakes literally slipped down into their holes.

Sirius snickered. "Idiots. Anyway, he'll never guess. It's a good thing we are Animagi or else we wouldn't have been able to do half the stuff we did on patrol."

"Plus we have a werewolf," I suddenly thought of something. "Let's take Remus out there. Maybe he can pick up a scent or something."

"Good idea," Sirius agreed. We took a shortcut to the fifth floor, dodged Peeves who was loosening chains connected to a chandelier &amp; went into another passage-way to bring us to seventh floor. "So how are you &amp; Lily doing?"

URK! Talking about Lily was the last thing I wanted to discuss with Sirius. The whole school had thought it was a ridiculous prank &amp; only just now are people realising that hey, Lily &amp; I are indeed engaged. It was quite sudden for everyone, but especially me. If I wasn't so attached to Sirius, perhaps I wouldn't have found it difficult to talk about Lily with him. "We're not setting a date until she's done seventh year."

"I mean have you two done it yet &amp; you know it," Sirius smirked at me.

Yeah, yet I wonder why I don't want to talk to him about this. I stared at him. "Si...can we...can—oh look, we're at the Portrait. Bunny-hop."

"Come on Jim!" Sirius whined. "It's a simple question. Yes or no?"

I ducked into the tapestry covering the tiny room, making him follow. "I—no, we didn't yet. Sirius, I don't want to talk about this with you. Not you. Ever." I tried to leave.

"Jim," He pulled me back. "You can talk to me about anything."

"No, I can't," I pulled away. "Not sex. Not ever again."

"Oh alright," Sirius gave up. "It really doesn't have to be that way though."

"Yes, it does," I quickly exited before he could go on. I was in bed with the curtains closed in record time, before he even came up the stairs.

During the lunch hour the next day, we brought Moony into the forest. On a rare occasion, Peter was not physically attached in any way to Zephyra, so he tagged along, scurrying about in the underbrush on the side. But we never made it to the revolving track.

Sirius had cut through the forest, making a beeline for the opening. We were all in our animal forms (but for Remus of course) &amp; Remus could easily keep up being what he was. It would have been fine if it weren't for the fact that we had been right above that tunnel without knowing it &amp; our stampeding through the forest caused a cave in.

With a puppy-like whine, Remus was the first to sink down as the ground gave way. The three of us transformed over the hole &amp; held our wands down to illuminate the abyss. Two gold eyes glared up at us. Sirius &amp; Peter both reached down at the same time to try hauling Remus out. They only managed to flip themselves inside right on top of him. He hissed like a wildcat &amp; I think those two idiots deserved being hissed out.

"We might as well find out what's down here," Sirius muttered.

"But what about the alarm?" I asked. "It cut you."

"Well it hasn't come on yet," Sirius said. "I think the cave-in cut us off from the trigger."

I leaned in to have a better look &amp; my stupid glasses slipped off my nose. Remus caught them in midair with his mouth &amp; promptly crunched them. "Stupid werewolf!" I shook my fist. He merely looked up &amp; grinned wolfishly. "I don't have any spares on me right now."

"Are you coming down here or not?" Peter asked, holding up a spare pair. "What? I've always kept a pair just in case this precisely happens." Remus eyed the thing lustfully. I had no choice but to jump down &amp; make it to that pair of glasses before he did.

"Oh move over!" I dropped in without waiting &amp; snatched my glasses.

Sirius led the way. I took my place near his side, but as the Delta now. I had simply assumed my old rank. I was no longer Beta. No one was unless &amp; until Sirius &amp; Remus ever became mates. But not me ever again. The ground rumbled &amp; the hole we had fallen into filled up with more dirt. Now we had no choice but to move ahead. I only hoped we got out by the time lunch break was over.

After about five minutes of walking in wand-light we rounded a corner &amp; there it was. A train car belonging to the Hogwarts Express. It came into sight out of the blue &amp; the four of us froze in horror until our brains caught up with our eyes. Still, it was rather unnerving to see a train car down here for absolutely nothing so far as any of us could see. We got on board &amp; headed down the length of the car. The exit door snapped closed between us.

"Oh, here is Frank's lost Wizard Card," Peter picked up a 'Madame Lawanda Betsi' &amp; pocketed it. "He said it's been missing since Christmas."

"Christmas," I glanced around. "This thing's been here since Christmas."

"It's had visitors during that time," Sirius said. "Obviously, since they kept coming around &amp; going down the opening. I wonder what they're doing to it?"

"We have to get off," Remus came back from the far end. "Now."

"Why?" Sirius prompted, reminding Remus who the Alpha was now.

"You say that whoever's doing this has been coming down here working on this?" Remus pointed down the hall. We moved down a few compartments but couldn't see anything. "Right here," He opened a trap door.

Underneath, seemed to be a large tank filled with clear liquid, water most likely. The tank was attached to the floor by several small lines. There was also a black square thing on the top.

"What's this?" I poked it.

"NO DON'T!" Remus yelped.

The black square thing lit up with numbers. The first was a five but the last two were decreasing rapidly. "Wow, what was that?"

"Oh no!" Remus was actually wringing his hands. "You idiot! You just turned it on!" He fell to his knees &amp; cast several different spells that had to do with stopping or ending something but the numbers continued. "I can't stop it. Run! This car is going to blow in less than five minutes." We stared at him for a moment. "Move! Don't forget we have to get as far down the tunnel as possible as well before it goes."

We ran back the length of the car &amp; slammed into the exit door. Sirius tried to open it but it wouldn't budge. We all tried Alohomorah on it but the door was sealed shut.

"No use. It won't open!" Sirius tried kicking the door open.

"That's it. We're done for," Remus turned back to the trapdoor we had left open. "This thing is a bomb. It's rigged to blow &amp; you!" He punched me in the chest. "Just HAD to go &amp; touch the activation pad!"

"Are you telling me we have less then five minutes to live if we don't get out of here?" I glanced at the door.

"Wee!" Remus snarled in French, stomping off. "Unless I can figure out how to stop it. Keep trying the door. Peter, try the other exit door. Hopefully one of them will work." Peter glanced at Sirius, who nodded before trying to bash his door in again. Remus had just usurped the Alpha rank but we'll battle it out later, provided there is a later.

No matter what we did, neither of the exit doors opened. I had left Sirius &amp; Peter to work on them while I tried the sliding doors on the side &amp; the windows. Nothing worked. By now, it had seemed like nearly five minutes had passed. I went to the hall &amp; saw Remus just sit down next to the trapdoor. He opened his cloak, letting one corner of it fall into the hole over the tank. Peter &amp; Sirius seemed to have a similar idea as they showed up moments after I did.

"Can't open anything," Peter said.

"Any luck?" Sirius glanced at the trapdoor, then Remus.

"I can't stop it," Remus gasped. "I'm sorry! I tried everything. I can't stop it."

"I can't break a window either," I added. "This entire thing is rigged."

"Moony," Sirius went closer to him. "How much time?"

Remus flipped his cloak away for a moment &amp; we all caught a glimpse of the numerical symbols before he let it fall back. "A minute &amp; a half."

"We're too close to Hogwarts to apparate," Sirius sealed our doom with that statement.

We waited in silence for a moment, trying to think of something to get out of this. I felt Sirius grab my hand for most likely one last time. Peter stepped into the nearest compartment &amp; attempted to blast out the windows in it. Remus let out a small sob.

"I'm sorry," I said, knowing it was useless. "I didn't know it would do that."

"It proves that some muggle-borns are on the dark side. It isn't all about pureblood supremacy after all," said Remus. "This is a genuine muggle bomb with added magic to keep us in here once we passed the threshold."

Peter came back &amp; shook his head. "Muggle pyrotechs. I can't believe this is how we're all going to die."

Remus put his head into his arm lying across his knees as he sat by the trap door. We heard him cry again. Peter put a hand on his head. Remus suddenly said, "I'm sorry for annoying you, Sirius."

"Whatever it is, never mind."

Remus looked up at me. "Also you're right Prongs. I shouldn't have asked personal questions. Whatever you did to Orion is your business."

"Thanks," I muttered. Orion was the last thing I want to talk about in my final moments.

"That being said, you know that if you ever needed someone, I'm here," Remus went on. "Though not for much longer now. Must be less then a minute. I'd rather not check though." We all nodded in agreement. This final minute was taking forever.

Sirius let go my hand for definitely the last time now &amp; knelt in front of Remus. "You know I love you, right?" He began. I tried not to roll my eyes. Great, they're doing this now. Of course, no choice in the matter no thanks to me. Remus looked up at him as Sirius went on. "I had hoped ...but oh well. Come here."

Great. They're kissing. Now I rolled my eyes, but I felt myself smirking. Took them a bomb to explode. Irony of ironies. Peter &amp; I looked away awkwardly, trying to give them space.

"I truly am sorry for that stupid prank last year," Sirius's voice told Peter &amp; I that they were finished.

"I know," Remus hung his head. "That really hurt, Padfoot."

"Never again," Sirius said. "I mean it. Even if we weren't about to blow."

"I know," Remus curled up in Sirius's arms. They did make a good couple.

After several more long seconds (Is this minute ever going to end?), Sirius added, "I promised you the Alpha rank so ...take it back." Remus put a hand on Sirius's throat &amp; flipped him onto his back.

"I'm so sorry for everything," Remus suddenly sobbed, doubling up on the floor, still kneeling by the trap door. Come to think of it, that sob sounded ...odd. "But I'm glad we put everything right, my Omega." He paused before adding. "Although you might be my Beta someday."

Someday? "What do y..." My voice died in my throat. Remus had burst out laughing. Well if that's how he wanted to go, so be it. I wasn't laughing. Remus flipped on his back still laughing hysterically. This pulled the corner of his cloak off the tank below. I noticed that the activation panel was still flashing at a minute &amp; a half. Now just wait a trollish minute!

I'm going to kill that werewolf. I think Sirius had a similar thought.

"What? I had to. I wanted my Alpha rank back!" Remus continued to sob...ah a laughing one. Now I get it. "There's an off switch. I flipped it ages ago." He rolled around, punching the floor in hysteria. "Got you to kiss me at last too didn't it?"

"I HATE YOU!" Sirius bellowed. Remus only laughed harder.

"You keep that kissing up, Padfoot," Remus gasped. (Yep, I can tell who the bitch is going to be in that relationship. Strange since usually it is Sirius who's the dominant one, but not for Remus.) "You just might earn a Beta rank someday. OW!"

Peter—yes Peter our Gamma rank—had just smacked Remus so hard over the head from behind, it's a wonder Remus didn't have his head knocked from his shoulders. "You idiot. I was so scared a moment ago, Moony!"

"Sorry," Remus rubbed his head. "Desperate times. Desperate measures."

"Can we get out of here?" Sirius growled, fists balled by his sides.

"Sure," Remus shrugged. "Just as soon as we figure out how to get this thing to open."

"Oh I'm not falling for that one," I glared at him.

"What? I honestly don't know what's up with the system locking us in," Remus shrugged.

With my wand, I pointed at the nearest exit door. "Get over there."

"Who's your Alpha?" Remus glared, then smiled. "Not Sirius!"

"MOONY!" Peter, Sirius &amp; I screamed in one voice.

"Oh alright," Remus sighed dramatically. "I guess, being ya know, the Alpha &amp; all, it's my job to get you out."

"Yes!" The three of us agreed through gritted teeth.

"Exactly where is that off switch Remus, so I can shove it up your arse?" I grumbled, following him back to the exit door we had all entered from. After five more minutes of trying to get the door open, we were still stuck inside the car. We all sat down for a moment, taking a break &amp; thinking of ways to murder Re—I mean uh, get out. Of course. Out is best. I mean why wouldn't I have sudden urges of my Black blood boiling up to kill this monstrosity? I most certainly ...do!

Where was I? Oh yeah. Getting off the train. Remus had tricked us into thinking we were all going to blow up. Now we're stuck inside trying to find a way out ...without murdering Remus.

It all had to do with that stupid off-switch. Remus really was at fault for locking us in. See, there was no bomb set inside the train car. It was actually the entire train car that was rigged. The off switch sealed everything when flipped so to get out, we had to turn the bomb back on.

No thanks to Remus screwing with it, we only had a minute &amp; a half to dig our way out of the ground after exiting this car. Have I mentioned lately that I'm a cat person?

Then Sirius came up with a crazy plan that might actually work. Well obviously it did. I mean, I'm here writing this, aren't I? What am I even talking to you for? You're just a stupid blank sheet of parchment. Anyway, he attached a Carpe Retractum rope to the off switch &amp; stretched out the fiery cord until we reached the door. Then he yanked the switch &amp; we all tumbled out. Next he pushed back to flip the switch one more time hopefully. The problem was, the spell was a fickle thing &amp; didn't like being stretched or pushed on so there was a chance that it did not turn the switch off. But none of us stayed behind to check it out

We fled down the tunnel &amp; began shifting the cave-in as fast as possible, creating a wall just in case it did blow. Needless to say, three Merlin-damned hours later, we got out. Even with magic it was slow work. We had to calculate every time we dug more rubble out so as not to cause another cave in or make this one collapse more &amp; we were all on nerves from the possibility of blowing sky high; which oddly enough, would get us out in a hurry.

Even with our carefulness, I was still hit on the shoulder with a sharp large rock. It nearly took my arm off. The blow left me dizzy &amp; made a long gash starting on my cheek &amp; rent through my sleeve &amp; flesh all the way to my forearm. I had to be helped out by the other three.

Wet, tired, dirty &amp; fuming (at Remus mostly) &amp; in my case, painfully bloody, we went straight to Dumbledore's office, ignoring calls of detentions &amp; lost points from teachers whose classes we had missed. We explained to him what happened.

Turns out, he wasn't surprised at our finding. He was actually expecting it. Three other stolen train cars had been found buried under Hogwarts on all four sides. All were rigged to blow. Someone wanted this castle destroyed.

Dumbledore restored our lost points, cancelled our detentions, then put us to work at collapsing the tunnel we had found &amp; help Mad Eye &amp; other Aurors, including my mother, add shielding to the train car below.

I wanted to help but Dumbledore tried to send me to the hospital wing. "It's fine," I insisted. I was too mad at the people responsible for trying to take out my school to let something like a ripped open arm stop me.

"I'll deal with him," Remus said. At that, he promptly flipped me over his shoulder &amp; carried me to the hospital wing, fireman style.

* * *

"Oh, there it is!" Harry snickered before going on.

* * *

"PUT ME DOWN!" I screeched indignantly. Remus didn't know &amp; couldn't possibly understand my fear of hospitals. I was always terrified they'd find remnants of something they shouldn't. "PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW!"

"No," Remus actually growled. "You're bleeding to death!"

"I'm fine! SIRIUS!" I reached out with my good hand but he purposely remained out of my grip.

I was carried through the entire school from Dumbledore's office all the way to the hospital wing. Remus moved at a brisk trot but still, people looked up in surprise as we past as I swore continually at Remus in more than one language. I could hear them laughing as we passed, me flung over the Lycan's left shoulder like a sake of Venomous Tentacula Seeds.

"For Merlin's sake!" Remus snarled, bursting through the door. Madam Pomfrey had a good view of my nice tight little arse as Sirius puts it on my way in, still kicking &amp; screaming. Yes. My arm hurt like hell &amp; probably needed attention. But ever since the last week of last summer, I had a major fear of hospitals for good reasons now. Remus dropped me on the nearest bed. "It'll only take a minute." I glared at him as Pomfrey fussed over me.

Stupid mutt! One of these days I SWEAR to Merlin! Anyway, back to the train cars about to blow.

The plan was to let them blow as they were all useless now, having been gutted so much that they could no longer serve the train's purpose. Each was inside its own bubble of shielding. All four Houses were put into the Great Hall as an extra precaution &amp; the Hall was sealed. All Aurors stood around the outer wall while the rest of the students were supposed to go to sleep. Good luck with that!

The four were supposed to blow at the same time on the evening of our final exams. Even with the extra layers of charms, we still heard the blast &amp; felt the castle floor shake under us. Several of the first years were scared of it. A first year Ravenclaw girl actually curled up in a ball in front of me &amp; started screaming.

I picked her up &amp; leaned against the wall with her in my arms, her head over my shoulder. She stopped the moment I grabbed her off the floor. She liked me! In that moment, I wanted a daughter like nothing else.

Long after the shaking stopped, I laid her on her sleeping bag. She had fallen asleep in my arms. Going back to my post, I caught Sirius's eye. He was smirking at me. "What? Shut up."

"I didn't say nothing," Sirius doubled over. I felt my face go red. Damn! He's still making me blush.

Whatever! Anyway, I thought it would end there, allowing the cars to blow without damaging the castle. But it didn't. If it weren't for those cars, I wouldn't be sitting here today.

As we still didn't know who the traitor was, Dumbledore upped the security for the last day &amp; had four Aurors guard the train on the way home. Mad Eye &amp; my mother among them.

After saying goodbye to Peter &amp; Remus who boarded the train, Sirius &amp; I were to remain behind with the other training Aurors to help seal the castle for summer. In a few days, which was yesterday, we were supposed to take the train to go to the Ministry Of Magic &amp; become Full Aurors at last.

But the train was attacked by Death Eaters at the Scottish border. Remus &amp; Peter were fine, but several students were killed ...&amp; one Auror. The train diverted back to Hogsmeade with the survivors &amp; I was just teasing Remus &amp; Peter on not seeing them for all of a few hours, when Dumbledore's hand landed on my shoulder.

"Mr. Potter, come with me," He turned &amp; led me to the edge of town where Sirius was patrolling. He made Sirius come along &amp; we apparated away to Dufftown. Before going any further, Dumbledore turned to me. "It's a terrible formality, but as you are both relatives, either one of you can do this. A formal identification."

I stared at him for a full minute. "Dumbledore, where's my mother?" Sirius put a hand on my shoulder as Dumbledore looked away.

"I'm sorry Mr. Potter."

I don't rightly know what happened next. I think Sirius was yelling at me or holding me back until I recovered. I think I knocked someone over as I burst into the building in front of us. All I know is finding a bloody sheet in a small dark room. My mother was lying cold &amp; dead under it with several slashes to her face &amp; chest. I don't understand. She was Slytherin. Pureblood. The best witch I've ever known. One of the best Aurors of her age. How could she fall like this? I had a feeling that she faded when my father died. Maybe she just let go so she could be with him. What about me? She abandoned me!

The fact that I was now the full heir to the Potter wealth as well as some of the Black estate didn't register in my mind at the time. I had just become richer then the Queen! But all I felt was utter loss. Virginity. Sanity. Father. Boyfriend. Now mother.

I don't know what I did for the next two hours. Apparently I had wandered into a small muggle Catholic church. I was sitting on the front pew staring at a candle when my more clear memories happened. A priest had come up to me, asking what I needed.

I shrugged. "I'm not even Catholic. My family actually has some Presbyterian roots."

The priest raised his brow. "A Protestant in my parish?" I was about to apologise (hadn't thought of that) but he seemed amused. He sat down beside me. "Well, we all must find our own way."

"My mother was just murdered," I muttered. To me, that is precisely what happened.

"Ah," the priest remained silent for several minutes. "It isn't always clear why such things are allowed to happen. But after all, the ones that love us never truly leave us. You can always find them right here." He pointed at my heart.

"I know," I half-smiled. For a muggle, he had some good knowledge of the after life. But the magic world knew about it much better. "I should go. Funeral arrangements &amp; all."

"Very well," the priest stood up. "May I light a candle for your mother?"

"Thank you," I nodded. "She liked red ones." Ruby throated hummingbirds.

When I left, I went into automatic mode. I didn't stop until she was buried the next evening. Sirius, Remus &amp; Peter stayed with me &amp; Lily appeared on the day we laid my mother next to Dad.

I spent that night in her room on her bed. I didn't sleep. Around three in the morning, the door opened &amp; Sirius entered. He closed the door &amp; sat on the bed. "Saw the light." He pointed at the small ball of blue fire in a jar on the nightstand. "How are you?"

"I don't know."

"I know we're off now but," Sirius stared at the flames. "there are exceptions to every rule. Come here." He wrapped his arms around me &amp; pulled me close. I burst into tears. Again. I thought I was through with this. We ended up falling asleep together on her bed.

It was only for a few hours. The first rays of sun brightened the room as I jerked awake in his arms. I forced myself to sit up as he rolled over &amp; looked up at me. "What if Remus had walked in? Or Lily?"

"Dude, we're cousins. Family," Sirius stretched. "They'd think it was a natural thing at a time like this. But if you want, we could both strip naked &amp; I could call them in for a sight."

"Oh shut up," I crawled over him to get out of bed. "Sirius!" I hissed in a low voice. He had gotten up &amp; grabbed me from behind.

He turned me around to face him &amp; then promptly dipped me in a long kiss. "I'm moving out next week."

"You're telling me this ... now?" I looked up at him, still in a dip-pose.

He stood me straight. "Yeah, I found a muggle flat nearby. Nice little place. Room for the motorbike. I was thinking of asking Remus to join me."

"A muggle flat," I stared at him. Had he forgotten? "What about Moony though?"

"Oh the basement of his house &amp; yours can suffice for that," Sirius shrugged. "But I've had it with the Wizarding World. Besides, Remus is muggleborn. He'll like it. Also, this is your house now. Completely. I should move out. You're marrying Lily &amp; I hope Remus will put up with me."

"This place has 24 rooms," I pointed out. "Stay here. Remus &amp; Peter could move in to."

"You &amp; Lily have better things to do then have the three of us under-foot all the time," Sirius smirked at me, heading for the door. "Like working on those God-kids you promised me ages ago." As he walked out, he added. "Hurry up. You'll be late for your lesson."

I was confused. We had just finished Hogwarts. It was summer vacation now. Then I remembered. The Ministry car was mine &amp; I would be learning how to use it as part of becoming a Full Auror. But for Lily's sake, I had started muggle car driving as well. My first lesson was today. The moment I was out of the bedroom &amp; Remus had noticed me, he yapped non-stop all the way to the office. He had his first license already &amp; so he thought he was all important giving me tips on everything when really, he was bloody annoying &amp; making me even more nervous.

Needless to say, the first lesson didn't go so well. I had to try parking on the side but nearly ended up backing into a ditch. At least the guys weren't around to laugh at me. Oh well. I had several more lessons to go &amp; the Lupins let me practise in their car with them in the meantime.

Remus brought us to one of the parks nearby that night, last night. He had an oil lamp that we lighted &amp; set in the middle of us. Then at last, he pulled out the cigars he had stolen a few weeks ago.

"I was saving these for our last day," Remus explained as Lily glared at the cigar box. Remus smiled apologetically at me. "Not quite how I imagined things."

"Never usually is," I took one, lighted it &amp; proceeded to try smoking for the first time. I nearly died. Remus &amp; Peter burst out laughing. Again I was crying but for trying to breathe. Sirius tossed a bottle of Firewhiskey my way &amp; stupid as I am, I took a large swallow, hoping it would help. I nearly burned a hole through my throat!

"Jim," Lily rubbed my back. "Breathe in. Breathe out."

"I'm trying," I hacked, doubled over.

"Honestly Ray," Lily glared at Remus. "Here I thought you were the good boy in this miserly lot."

"HAAAAAA!" Remus rolled around on his side laughing. When he had recovered, he offered one to her.

"Oh no."

"Come on Lils," Remus purred. "In honor of your marriage. Consider it your last night of freedom."

"I would never do something so wild."

"You're going to have sex with a Marauder soon," Remus pointed out as I glared at him. "Trust me. If you don't learn wildness now …"

Lily glowered as Sirius laughed. "He's got a point. In fact, Jim's got over sixteen of them."

"Give me that stupid thing," Lily wrenched the cigar from Remus's hands amidst laughter. "Light me!" She held it out to me.

* * *

"Mum! What the hell?"

* * *

Turns out, she could smoke like a chimney. No problem. Not fair.

* * *

"MOTHER!"

* * *

We stared at her. I have never seen Lily be so bad-ass in my life, all dressed in that sexy Auror uniform. For the first time in a long time, I actually thought about her like that. "What? It's the age of flower power," Lily defended. "Of course I know how to do this."

* * *

Harry blinked. He hadn't really thought of that before. The Marauders did live during the hippy era. He suddenly had a whole different view of his parents then. Of course. Didn't his father write earlier about over-grown bangs &amp; longer hair? Naturally, they'd be in to this sort of thing.

* * *

After a few more tries, I managed the Cuban cigar quite well. We spent most of the night out there, passing two bottles of Firewhiskey around while smoking the cigars. It was to be our last time together since Sirius, Lily &amp; I were finished school a year early.

Lily surprised us further by teaching us purebloods how to roll up a joint. Remus understood it already. We were soon getting stoned, or so Lily said—it had nothing to do with rocks though, around the oil lamp in that park.

By the wee hours of the morning, Peter &amp; Remus were passed out. Sirius &amp; I were just propping each other up back-to-back &amp; Lily was lying flat on her back gazing at the stars through glazed eyes. I think it was one of the best nights of my life.

But it didn't come without repercussions. The hangovers were a bitch! We had to go to the Ministry Of Magic to start real Auror training today. First thing in the morning. This would be goodbye to Peter &amp; Remus for a while. But we just couldn't move. The stoning effect was still going on so we were still quite high when we tumbled into the office.

Nearly an hour late.

Smelling of booze.

Cuban smoke.

Sweet marihuana.

And couldn't give a Koi's coochie about it.

Koi's coochie. Koi. Coochie. Coochie soochi..sushi…ohmygawsh I'm still a bit out of it. At least, it's controllable now. Better be after sitting on my parents graves for a few hours this evening, writing randomly.

Anyway, back to several hours ago.

Sirius, Lily &amp; I could do nothing but giggle.

Needless to say, our superiors, namely Rufus Scrimgeour the head Auror, were not impressed with us. We lost our chance at becoming Aurors that day. As punishment, we were sentenced to another year at Hogwarts.

This made us burst out into song &amp; we slurred out "Hoggy Hoggy Hoggy-warts" at the top of our voices as we stumbled away. We had just unwittingly managed to get what we wanted. Finish school with Remus &amp; Peter.

_(AN: Yes I ripped off a Sherlockian title. No I don't care! Also 'Glacius' spell is taken from PS2 video games Prisoner Of Azkaban, ironically. No I didn't plan that at all! LOL)_


	31. Chapter 31

**(31) Full Circle**

Well I didn't think I'd use this ever again. But today has been too eventful to pass up.

It's that date. My anniversary with Orion. I can't believe it's been exactly one year to the date. I'm alone in the Potter Manor at Godric's Hollow right now. Lily had taken the boys out for a bit of muggle shopping but I didn't feel like going. I had suddenly realised what date this was earlier but didn't mention it to any one else.

I had actually broken out into a cold sweat again, though not as bad as before. I just need to be alone for a bit, so I leave it up to Lily &amp; Remus to teach the other two about nightlife shopping in the city of London. This day is nearly over &amp; I'm wondering if I'm going to have a problem with it every time another anniversary passes.

When I say problem, I actually mean a near death experience again. We had just gotten back from a rather bizarre trip on which, ironic as it is, I nearly died again. In fact, all five of us nearly died this time.

I had hired a small yacht to take Lily &amp; the guys out onto the ocean this morning for some last minute summer heat. Remus had insisted on teaching us purebloods about snorkelling which is basically a muggle version of the Bubble charm, but less effective.

We spent most of the day out there just beyond a large bay, having a lunch party on deck &amp; diving into the cool water. We're all about three shades darker by now. With the ship anchored, all five of us were able to swim about nearby. We could still see the land &amp; I didn't think these types of creatures would actually come this close to feed. Lily &amp; Peter noticed them first. A school of small fish were swimming back &amp; forth so fast in a ball that they were creating bubbles. I'm not sure if the fish or the bubbles should have been our first clue about the 'other' creatures in the water with us at the time. I hate hindsight.

"I need a picture of that!" Lily climbed up onto the yacht for a camera she had waterproofed. I couldn't help but notice her rather cute arse in that dark blue bikini as she pulled herself above my head on the ladder. "Perv." She didn't even look at me. How the Phoenix did she know?

Lily flicked her long braided hair, causing water to fall on my face. Grumbling, I swam out into the water. We still haven't done anything &amp; I think we're waiting for marriage first. I mentioned that to Sirius but he nearly had a heart attack. Should have stuck to my first idea of not discussing sex with him anymore.

Oh &amp; by the way, she is the only girl here. Four guys. One girl. It's her fault there is no where else to look. So there! Granted, two of those guys only have eyes for guys. Yes, Sirius &amp; Remus are officially a pair. Happened last week. In fact, the last full moon, Wormtail &amp; I didn't even bother to go since the two pups had better things to do. Remus &amp; Peter both tease me about virginity but really, I think Lily is the only one here like that. Actually, I don't really know. I know she dated two other guys since our fifth year. Oh great! Oh well.

* * *

Harry rubbed his brow. He had never really thought of his parents with anyone else. It was rather odd knowing that they weren't exactly firsts after all; though, it wasn't for lack of trying, at least on his father's part. Everything works out. Isn't that what both Sirius &amp; James always say? Sure, it works out, just not in the way one expects it to.

* * *

Hearing a splash, I knew she had dived in after me. Ok, picture this! Being no where near any male at the moment, I promptly whipped off my swim shorts. Hope she liked what she saw swimming by me.

* * *

Harry rolled his eyes. "So mean. Just so mean!" Harry would never, ever treat women like this. In like ever; no way!

* * *

Lily surfaced for breath, keeping her eyes pointedly away from me. Ha! Ha ha. HA! She swam by &amp; promptly made a rude finger sign. "Hey! That's not very lady-like." I was about to go under to swim to her.

"Hey Potter," Lily promptly whipped off her bikini bra. "POW!"

I went under forgetting to breathe first &amp; nearly drowned. OHMYGODIJUSTSAWHERBREASTS!

* * *

Harry burst out laughing. At least his mother knew how to handle boys. She kept them firmly in their places.

* * *

When I had quite recovered from choking on foul tasting seawater, I realised I had let go my swim shorts &amp; had no idea where the bloody hell they floated off to. Got to be kidding me.

* * *

"Well serves you right, idiot."

* * *

"Jim, will you get over here?" Peter called from far away where all four of them were.

Yeah. That is not going to happen. I'm not afraid of the guys. They wouldn't hurt me but if they knew what had just happened, they would tease me mercilessly. "Hey who's shorts are—Jim. Aren't these yours?" Remus held up a pair.

"No," I swam closer. "No idea. Look a lot like mine though." I snatched the nearest pile of seaweed to hide myself in. Now, to get those shorts away from him.

"Really?" Remus flipped the tag. "Why is there a picture of antlers here then?"

"I really don't know," I hate this guy so much. Peter &amp; Sirius were already snickering.

Lily, bikini bra perfectly back in place, was focusing more on the ball of fish that were slowly swimming away. "Jim's doing some skinny dipping."

Remus handed over the shorts. "Lost something?" He grinned, exposing the points.

"I hate you," I put them back on.

The four of us hung just under the surface of the water, watching Lily move closer to the fish to take pictures of them. We came up for air first &amp; a moment later, we all nearly lost our lives in one shot. Lily surfaced next, screaming for us to swim. Then she disappeared as two black mountains shot out of the water in front of us. There was a snapping of something shutting.

Humpback whales. Feeding. With Lily right in the center of the bubble net trapping the fish!

* * *

Harry swore very badly in English.

* * *

The waves between the two whales tossed the four of us about. I heard Lily screaming, which was a good thing I guess. It meant that she wasn't inside one of those accordion-like mouths. Yet. I swallowed more sea water as the whales disappeared; causing currents that pulled me under. Someone grabbed my hand.

Resurfacing, I gazed into the eyes of Peter. "Remus is ahead of us. But I can't see Sirius."

I felt a stab in my heart. Was Sirius inside one of those Leviathans? "Get to the boat!" I let Peter go &amp; he started for it, but I hung back for Lily.

She was suddenly beside me. "Let's get out of here!"

"Jim. Lily! Move! There's a third one!" That was Sirius &amp; he was already speeding towards the yacht. He was the fastest swimmer among us.

We didn't need telling twice. Lily &amp; I pushed against the waves. We felt an awful sensation of bubbles rising up. The third one was the one that formed the net. Now it was that one's turn to feed. Just as Lily &amp; I made it over another surge, a third black mottled mountain rose up beside us, gulping in fish. I actually looked into its gigantic eye.

The yacht was being tossed about &amp; it was hard to climb up the ladder. But we finally pulled ourselves aboard. Alive &amp; in one piece &amp; quickly developing a major fear of baleen whales. I have no idea why.

"I lost the camera," Lily gasped for breath.

I glared at her. "The camera? THE CAMERA! Lily we were nearly swallowed alive &amp; you're worried about a damn camera!"

"Oh shut up!" Lily snarled. "If I wasn't taking pictures, I would have never even noticed the whales. Then we would have all been swallowed. At least we had a chance to get away."

I scoffed &amp; stormed off to the front of the ship. We could see the seething water turning a bright green color from where the whales had disturbed it. The ship lurched as a whale's head came up by the side, bumping it. The whale rolled over, raising one long jagged fin out of the air. I reached out &amp; touched it as the whale went by. It felt slippery &amp; rubbery &amp; as the whale finished its roll as it passed, I had a sudden death-defying urge. The last thing I heard was a collective scream of 'Jim/James/Prongs' then silence. I had jumped back in beside the whale.

The beast was sinking down. The sun lit the water for several feet underneath &amp; in some places we could even see the bottom if we looked towards the bay. I hung suspended under the boat &amp; watched the large black mass pass under me. The whale was rising again to surface on the other side. I suddenly landed somewhere on its back as it broke the surface for another breath.

I couldn't believe it. I'm riding a humpback whale. Wait. Hump. Oh great! I hope Sirius doesn't make any lewd connections. What was I thinking? Oh well, too late now. I heard them screaming at me again to get off &amp; come back to the ship. Lily even threatened to call off the wedding if I didn't stop acting so stupid &amp; get back to her. Fine. I suppose I have to. I slipped off &amp; slowly made my way back. I surfaced near the front of the boat.

"Get back there &amp; get on that ladder or so help me!" Remus pointed in some general direction towards the back of the boat.

"What? I knew it was there," I complained. "It was fine."

"NOW!" Remus screeched with Lily's help.

Sirius &amp; Peter were standing nearby, arms crossed. Lily stood at the top of the ladder, hands on hips. "I'm sorry," I muttered, not really meaning it as I reached the last stair.

Crack!

Lily just punched me in the face so hard, I flipped right off the ladder. I sunk under the water yelling random obscenities in random languages. Glancing in all directions, I didn't see the whales. The boat was right above me. I don't understand why they're so mad at me. They're probably worried I would be killed. But first off, now that we know the whales are here, is it really that big a deal? Secondly, I still don't care if I died anymore. If anything, death by whale seemed a fun way to go.

No I'm not suicidal anymore. But I'm no longer afraid of death either. If it happens, it happens. So what? Move on. Get over it. I've stopped caring since Orion hurt me a year ago.

A year.

I suddenly realized the date in that moment. Under water, I shivered violently; suddenly cold. My last thought was a burning sensation in my lungs.

My next memory was Frenching Remus senseless for some stupid reason. Then my ribs seared when he kicked me. "Sorry. Thought. Lily."

"I was giving you CPR you idiot," Remus glared gold. "Does Lily have longer teeth? No."

"Sorry Jim," Lily was actually kneeling beside me, looking worried. "I didn't mean to knock you out."

"I'm fine," I slowly sat up. She didn't knock me out. She hits like a girl. Seriously. But I had passed out with the shock of which date it was today.

"You just take it easy," Remus helped me stand &amp; led me inside the cabin to sit down. "We should get back. It's getting late."

They made such a fuss over me all the way back &amp; I was put to bed the moment we stepped inside my house. Seriously. It wasn't that bad. What part of 'I'm fine!' isn't in English? The moment I was left alone, I lay on top of the covers &amp; pulled out a book to read. I'll play this game for a little while but really, I'm fine.

Lily came into my room about an hour later. "How you feeling?"

I glared over the top of my mother's Spellbook full of intricate schemes not even most Aurors can do. "Grumpy! I hate the fuss. I'm FINE!"

She crawled onto the bed &amp; lay down beside me. I tried not to notice the fact that she was still in her bikini, though with a dark red wrap-around shawl to cover herself. "I really didn't mean to knock you out. Guess I don't know my own strength."

I scoffed. She was weak &amp; pathetic when it came to punches. "I think I'll live."

Now she punched my shoulder. I pretended to grunt in agony. "You're so stupid, Jim. Jumping onto a whale like that. You could have been killed."

"You know how I feel about that," I turned a page to continue igno—er uh, reading. "Hey!"

Lily pulled the book away &amp; dropped it to the floor. "Now you listen here, Mister!" She pointed an accusing finger in my face. "Y—OW!" I bit the finger. Lily recoiled, nursing the bite while I grinned at her. "Hanging out with Ray too much, I think!" She glared at me. "Such a jerk. You're such a jerk!"

"Don't you know it," I teased her as I tried to sit up. Surely I'm allowed to sit up at least.

She pounced me &amp; I fell back. I had Lily lying on top of me for the first time in my life. We're both still in nothing but swimwear which meant we both had an acute feeling of each other in that moment. Lily sat up, horrified &amp; apologising. Of course, this made her sit right on my hips. Hmm never thought I'd get to feel her like this. Unbidden, my hips jerked under her. I can't believe that just happened.

Lily went into hysterics &amp; promptly fell off the bed. With as much grace as she could muster, she stood up, fixing her shawl &amp; tugging her long red braid. "I am really sorry!"

"We're getting married. Stuff like that's going to happen."

"Yes but when you're ready for it," She was trying to look at me without looking at me. She blushed as red as her hair when she was embarrassed. Cute. "When we both are. Really. I mean..."

Wait ...what? "Would you relax?" I laughed at her. She only turned a deeper shade of red.

"Remus is taking the guys out to London," Lily randomly said. "Did you want anything? I'll go let them know."

"I'm out of pineapple," I wasn't fooled. "So what's this about you not being ready? You're not breaking up with me, are you? It was just a whale ride!"

"No no no, nothing like that!" Lily was completely flustered. "I've just. I mean. Pineapple. Ok." She tried to leave.

I snatched my wand off the nightstand &amp; sealed the door. "Come back here."

"Let me out."

"Come here."

"Let me out right now!"

There was a long silence. "Lily?"

She turned to glare at me. "Jim."

"You're still a virgin, aren't you?" If looks could kill, I'd be dead. "Oh wow! That was the first time you actually felt a...guy!" I died laughing. So she was mine completely after all. I rolled off the bed, still laughing. Lily burst into tears. Now what did I do?

* * *

"Really Dad? I can't believe you're this stupid!" Harry flipped the diary shut for a moment, shaking his head. Oh well. At least his mother wasn't with anyone else first after all.

* * *

"Oh well don't cry about it!" I stopped laughing. "It's ok. I'm sort of virgin to, you know. Never been with girls at least."

"Oh you're just making fun of me!"

"I'm a guy. It's my job.

"Open this door this second!" Lily thumped on it.

"Oh all right," I sighed dramatically &amp; released the door. "You go out with the boys. I'll lie here &amp; plan our wedding night. Lily was half-way out when I said that. She glared at me before slamming the door shut.

She suddenly came right back in which was unfortunate as I had started laughing again. "They tease you about being virgin. Remus &amp; Peter. I can't stand it since I know they're wrong. But I don't want them teasing me about it, even though they'd be right. They can be a bit mean."

"Oh is that what you're mad at?" I picked up the Spellbook. "They won't tease you. You're a girl. Boys don't tease girls about it unless they're brothers or engaged. Like us."

"How can you stand it though? I hate it. Every time I hear them do that, it just makes me think of Orion."

"If you want to get technical about it, they are right in a way," I said. "I've never been with girls so in that way, I am still virgin."

"I haven't thought of it like that."

"It's the only thing I can think of that gets me through the day."

"I've seen some 'Missing' posters," Lily went on. "It's been a few months now. I hope...I hope he's dead."

He is! "Probably is, what with the war going on &amp; all," I shrugged it off. Too close for comfort. Topic change now. "Anyway, I want pineapple. Are you going to get some or not?"

"Oh I can't leave you alone.

"Actually I wouldn't mind some time alone," I grumbled. "You four have been nothing but hens &amp; it's driving me nuts. Pineapples will fix me. Go get some. Please?"

"I'll try to make it short," Lily finally left.

Once I had the house to myself, I was able to go downstairs without anyone making a fuss. If worse comes to worse, I'll just jump onto the sofa when they come back &amp; pretend I 'took it easy' the whole time.

I still can't believe it. A whole year now. I've been put through hell &amp; brought to heaven several times during this past year. I never thought so much could happen in a short time until now.

I looked down at my wrists &amp; forearms underneath. I had used Concealment charms on them while on the boat but they've worn off by now. I need a more permanent solution.

My scars ran now from wrists to halfway up my forearms. I didn't bother trying to make tiny slashes that wouldn't be noticeable anymore. Once Sirius found out, there was no use trying to keep my skin smooth. I stared at the crucifix scars for a moment.

I'm going to bear the marks of this past year for the rest of my days.


	32. Chapter 32

**(32) Footnote**

Harry put the memoirs aside &amp; rubbed his eyes. He only had a few more pages to go but he had been at it for nearly four hours straight. He still couldn't see anything to help Sirius—if help was what he truly needed.

Still, it had been an interesting read. Harry had found out things about his father he doubted anyone (including Jim) would have told him. Sirius Black was a complete conundrum to Harry now. If it weren't for one little fact, Harry would have believed Black innocent by now.

But the problem was, if not Black ...then who had been really responsible for this mess? Harry had no one on which to pin it on &amp; after the latest antics from Black of the night before, it was seemingly obvious that he had intent to kill someone. Who?

He set his small alarm that could work (barely) under the magic shields of Hogwarts for an hour &amp; slept a bit to rest his eyes. As interesting as the details were of his father's writings, his eyes were burning for attention.

At half past four in the morning, Harry finally opened the diary for the last time.

The next two pages were blank &amp; Harry was just about to curse himself for thinking there was more when he saw more had indeed been written. But something was wrong. The date entered was 1981. Harry was suddenly wide awake. 81 was a huge jump from 77/78. 81 was when they had died.

Was this what he had been waiting for?

* * *

1981

I can not believe this thing is still around! While rummaging around in the attic early this morning in a last desperate attempt at finding Harry's lost plush dinosaur, this thing fell off a shelf &amp; hit my head. I had completely forgotten. Not the events of what happened back then but I mean of the actual diary I had written. Of course, it all quite literally came crashing back to me.

It's all I have right now &amp; time is running out. I hate using this but it's all the proof I have.

* * *

Harry gasped softly. This was it. This had be it.

* * *

I would do whatever I must to keep my Grim safe, even if it meant exposing my shame. He is protecting me, it's only natural I return the favour.

Let's bring this up to date. Our seventh &amp; final year went by with as little incident as one could possibly imagine. Things were nearly normal, dare I say it. Lily, Sirius &amp; I finally did get our full Aurors license.

I married Lily at last three days after last day of term at Hogwarts &amp; apart from the obvious loss of virginity girls suffer (which I find is quite unfair &amp; have no idea why they hurt &amp; bleed the first time no matter what guys do), I actually didn't hurt Lily.

* * *

"I uh," Harry rubbed his neck. "I did not know that one."

It was probably Lily's place to explain to a teenage son about such things but Lily was dead. Aunt Petunia was a prude as far as Harry was concerned after realising how his family had been rather open about such intimate things. Oh well ... there was always the photo album to discuss such things later.

Harry could just imagine trying to corner Aunt Petunia to discuss girls. Nightmarish beyond belief! Perhaps Molly or ... or Ginny. Someday. Cho? What, shut up! That would be another horrifying conversation if he ever got the nerve 'up' to ask Cho Chang out. Hang on, why was he even thinking about Cho at four in the freaking morning? He shook his head &amp; focused on the late entry.

* * *

So far we've had one child. A son we named Harry. His birth was a huge problem for me since by now, my fear of hospitals had reached paranormal levels. Sirius barely kept me grounded &amp; when the boy was finally born, I stayed for a few minutes to make sure Lily &amp; Harry were fine before having to run out into the street.

On a side note, I had no idea what women go through to have a baby. I thought the things just ….uh well I really don't know what. Appeared. I never really focused on paediatrics. But anyway, it's amazing my hand didn't break with her grip. I guess in a way I did hurt her. I was fine with one kid but for some reason she soon talked about having another one. I guess it is true what they say when a woman supposedly forgets the pain.

I honestly don't get it. I refused at first but then she offered a home birth for my sake. No more hospitals. Well whatever. I have no problems with the start of having another baby … but I guess ultimately it's her body, therefore her choice about it.

When we brought Harry home the next day, I consider that to be the official father-child meet for the first time as I was able to spend much more time with him without worrying about anything else. Anyway, so he wasn't a girl but that's ok. I like having a son &amp; besides, I'm working on his sister right now I hope. Yes, Lily's pregnant again. Oh &amp; she wants a water birth on top of it all.

* * *

"Oh no," Harry laid it aside &amp; buried his face in his hands. "No no!" He couldn't believe it. He would have had a baby sister or brother? He would never get to meet that person in this life.

* * *

We haven't told anyone yet. She's about six weeks now but I'll wait until we're all in the clear so as not to worry anyone.

Which brings me to my problem. Dumbledore had recently announced that Voldemort is after my son. I couldn't believe it. Why would anyone want my son dead? It was quite clear now that someone we knew was a traitor &amp; word had gotten out about my son possibly being involved in destroying that Dark Lord. I don't believe it. Harry's barely a year old. He never even heard of Voldemort &amp; doesn't know that we're in a war that's being going on for nearly two decades.

As for the traitor, it's been going on since sixth year. The rat is good. Very good! Dumbledore ordered Lily &amp; I, two of his best Aurors, to go into hiding. He offered to be our Secret Keeper since he thought it might be one of our closest friends betraying us.

Not one single one of my friends would betray me, least of all Sirius. I insisted Sirius would take my secret. Only Sirius. I didn't want to be separated from him, even now. The mere thought of it cut me to the core.

See, this charm we're using hides our position from everyone not in on the secret. If Sirius was left out, he would forget where I lived. Voldemort himself could have his nose pressed against my window but would never see us, unless the Secret Keeper him/herself told him.

I hated being cut from Peter &amp; Remus, but I could survive that. This wasn't forever. But not Sirius. It would feel like forever. Oh Merlin Sirius! Why are you doing this to me?

I'm in the nursery right now. Harry's asleep at last, clutching his dinosaur. It's about a week &amp; a few days before Halloween. I've actually just had a huge fight with Sirius. Why does he have such crazy ideas? Idiot. Stupid idiot!

I made my biggest cut yet, on my left forearm. It was so large &amp; so deep that for the first time, I actually yelped from the pain. I stood there, watching it bleed. I heard a rustling &amp; glancing behind me, I saw Harry standing up in his crib. Oh no! I would never cut in front of him if I knew he was awake.

Or wait, perhaps I had awakened him. Harry reached out his hands for me &amp; started saying 'Da." I knew he wanted me to pick him up yet I was bleeding all over the carpet &amp; not doing a thing about it. How stupid can I get?

* * *

Harry tossed the diary aside again &amp; closed his eyes. His earliest memory was a flash of green when his mother died. That was Halloween 1981. This was just a week or so before that. Harry thought hard, trying to remember this. He had seen his Dad cut. Could he remember? Morbid as it was, it was all he had. But he couldn't recall the image. No yell. No blood drops. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise.

* * *

"Hold on, little one," I ran into the small washroom attached to the nursery &amp; wrapped myself up as fast as I could. Harry was looking confused that I was ignoring him &amp; started calling to me louder than before. "Yeah, I'll be right there!" I tied a knot in a cloth I used, pulled down my sleeve &amp; ran for Harry. He fell quiet the moment I had him in my arms. "I'm so sorry. I have issues." I held him close for a while. "I hope you never know the horrors I know." I whistled like a Stag.

The effect was instant. Harry went into hysterics, screaming with laughter. I put him on the floor &amp; changed. Prongs lowered his head &amp; took a threatening step towards Harry who was suddenly looking scared. Prongs took another step, then raised his head &amp; whistled loud &amp; shrill. Harry fell flat on his face, screaming. When the baby had quite composed himself, he stared at me again. Prongs pretended to charge him. Harry stared horrified. Whistle. Screaming laughter. We kept that up until Lily marched in, hands over ears.

"SHUT UP!"

Harry &amp; I glared at her. We were having fun.

"Sorry," I tried to look as innocent as possible, then pointed at Harry. "He wanted me to."

* * *

"Oh yeah, great!" Harry rolled his eyes. "Thanks Dad. Really nice. Moron."

* * *

"Moron!" Lily seethed. "I have a headache!" She stomped out. Grr. Pregnant women. Oh well. I whistled softly, but Harry still heard &amp; burst out laughing again.

While he was killing himself laughing, I quickly cast a spell over the blood on the carpet to make it disappear. That had been too close for my liking. It was a good thing Lily wasn't feeling well &amp; was mad at me or she might have noticed it. Harry began walking unsteadily about the room. He was heading for his toy broom. I sat down on the arm chair, holding my arm up so the cut would clot faster. It took longer than usual.

When the stinging finally stopped, I managed to scoop Harry &amp; broom in one hand &amp; brought them both down stairs. I put Harry in the living room play pen, then went to find Lily.

I found her in the kitchen, getting dinner ready. "I have to go out."

"Jim don't!" Lily dropped her mug to the floor where it shattered. "It's too dangerous."

"I'm just apparating to Hogwarts," I tried calming her. But it was hard. Fact was, I was feeling very uneasy. I had woken up feeling that way. The fight with Sirius didn't help &amp; I was feeling worse as time went on. "Dumbledore wants to borrow my Invisibility Cloak for a bit. That's all. I'll be right back."

"You better be," Lily fixed her mug. "We're putting the Fidelus Charm up in an hour. Don't get locked out of your own hiding spot."

That actually made me laugh. Oh the irony of that situation should it occur. I would deserve being killed by Voldemort for such stupidity. "I won't be more than ten minutes."

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. I'm so on edge now that this latest entry is not chronological at all. Anyway, I'm at Hogwarts right now, sitting in that triangular conference room we Marauders used to use. Dumbledore has my Cloak. I'm not sure why he needs it but the thing is, it's bugging me that he's interested in it. My Cloak is actually not an Invisibility Cloak at all but something far, far worse.

* * *

"Wait ...WHAT?" Harry stared at that, then glanced nervously in the direction of his trunk at the foot of his bed.

* * *

It is a family secret handed down from parent to eldest child. Harry will get it, along with its secret when the time is right. No one, not even Sirius or Lily, knows the true identity of that Cloak. Direct line only.

But back to why I'm here.

* * *

"No no Dad! You CAN'T do that!" Harry groaned, grabbing his photo album &amp; flipping to the front picture with his parents &amp; baby Harry. "Dad."

James handed the baby to Lily &amp; when they left, Harry lifted the picture. "Now what?" James asked.

"The Cloak. What is it?" Harry explained what he had read.

James picked at his right crucifix scar. "I don't remember making that entry. It must have been after this picture was taken. But that Cloak is ancient. That I do know. I suppose we should have this conversation soon. Can you give me some time to plan it?" Harry glared. "Please? Fix Sirius. That should be enough time."

"Fine, but don't think I won't forget."

"I would remind you if you did."

Harry closed the album &amp; picked up the diary.

* * *

The reason I'm down here is to leave behind the proof if something goes awry. I can't help feeling that something is going to go wrong, even though Sirius had tried every last thing to keep me safe. I suppose I should have started with that fight earlier today in the afternoon.

I was in the walnut grove near the lake behind the house, smashing shells with my hooves to eat the nuts when I was suddenly upside-down bleating pitifully. Sirius apparated beside me, laughing as he released me. I switched back, glaring at him, wondering what he was doing here now. I thought he had come early but really, he had come to explain an idea he had.

I rarely saw him now. Maybe once or twice a season, that's it &amp; it had been nearly two months since I had last laid eyes on him. He was dressed in a Full Auror's uniform, completely black, looking as handsome as ever. I know we're both married to significant others now &amp; I do not regret it. But I can't help missing him when he's been out of my life longer than I wanted.

Forgetting to stay mad at him, I held him close to me. "How's Remus?"

"Fine," Sirius petted my spine. "Bad moon. When he heard you've become a major target, the wolf didn't like it."

"I hate missing full moons."

"Jim the end of this war is in sight," Sirius stepped away from me at last, but let his hands slide into my own. "We'll be a complete pack once more. Don't worry."

"I worry."

"I know you do," Sirius put one gloved hand against my cheek as he had done so many years ago. Uh oh. He's up to something. "Ohh you're going to hate me in a minute, my poor Delta."

Now I know something's wrong. He's flirty despite being married to a wolf &amp; he just pulled the ranking card on my arse! "What?"

Sirius closed his eyes, pressing one hand to his stomach. He wavered &amp; I suddenly understood that he was crying so much, he was falling to the ground. I caught him &amp; we fell in a heap.

He kissed me!

Short. Feather light. Neither of us barely felt it. But I know what happened! I know it was deliberate. I know it was not an accident due to us falling. I also know it's no accident how we landed ... him on top of me. What the hell was going on? Was Remus...oh please no. Was Remus dead?

Sirius sat up &amp; stared at the lake. I think he was remembering that day we were taken by Orion. That day this whole mess started. "You know I've been gone a lot," Sirius suddenly began. "I've been doing a lot of undercover work for Dumbledore. Stuff I can't talk about right now." He hesitated before going on. "I've been trying to catch the traitor."

"A lot of us are," I started.

"No," Sirius stopped me. "I mean, I've been hired personally to try &amp; get rid of our traitor. It's all I'm focused on. That's why I'm never around. We know the traitor knows us, like I mean, you, me. Lily. I can't be around."

"I don't und—"

"The evidence is pointing to Remus!"

* * *

"Remus?!" Harry whispered aloud in shock. "No, it can't be!"

If Remus was the traitor ...if...well no wonder he wanted Black dead. Black could expose him! That wasn't right! Harry refused to believe it. He had been alone with that wolf more times than he could count. Remus had never tried to eat or kill him in any way.

Besides, what would Ron have that would hurt Remus? They weren't rich enough to own any silver.

* * *

I stared at him. "Excuse me?" I could not…I would not...believe that! Rather go to hell then believe that wolf would turn against me after all I've done for him.

Sirius burst into tears. No no! It can't be true. "I love him Jim! But everything is pointing to him!"

"Sirius, it isn't true."

"My orders are to kill the traitor the moment we know who it is," Sirius went on. "Jim! My own husband. My...I can't! I don't know how!"

I shot to my feet. "It isn't true! Find another traitor!"

"Prongs."

"Remus is the last person to betray us!"

"The evide—"

"Fuck evidence!" I stomped my foot. "Mark my words. Not Remus!"

Sirius stood up as well. "How do you think I feel about this? I love him as much as I love you! Jim, it's killing me!"

"He's a werewolf! No one likes him. Ever think maybe he's being framed?"

"Don't you think I'm looking into that? Jim, I'm desperate! But I can't find anything yet."

"Keep looking!"

"Jim, once the traitor is dead, the war is as good as won."

"Remus? End the war with Remus? ARE YOU INSANE?! What if you're wrong?"

"You have any idea what I'm going through right now?" Sirius shot at me. "I hate this. I hope to God I'm wrong!"

"YOU ARE!"

"WHAT IF I'M NOT?!"

We turned away from each other. The last time we had a shouting match, I had said something very nasty to him &amp; I made every attempt to avoid a similar incident. I could hear him heaving with sobs behind me. Remus. Traitor? How could that be true? For some reason, all I could think about was the damn condoms from our sixth year. For Sirius's sake, I tried not to laugh. Stupid condoms. What a ridiculous thing to think about at a time like this.

"I can't be your Secret Keeper Jim."

That drove condoms from my mind like nothing else. "What?" I turned back to him, almost pleading. I can't believe he's breaking my heart again, after all these years. "Sirius, you must!"

"I can't," Sirius repeated. "Not directly at least." The, he explained his ludicrous plan to me &amp; the problem was, it made absolute sense. "It's the only way I can gauge him. If he really is the traitor, he'll turn me in. If not, he won't do anything &amp; I can continue to look for the real traitor."

"Padfoot," I hated him. But he was right. I had to cut Sirius out.

Sirius kissed me again, longer &amp; deeper than before. It wouldn't hurt the mated bond as we weren't doing anything more, but I knew he was saying goodbye. "Je t'aime." He stepped away from me.

I knew what he was going to do. I tried to grab him but he had already apparated away. "Sirius!" I fell to my knees, staring at the space he had just been. I felt I wouldn't see him again for a very long time. Possibly years. Most likely forever. He was gone! When I did set up the charm with my actual Secret Keeper, Sirius would forget this place. He could never come back. Never be able to scream my position to end whatever torture he would most certainly face for my sake.

Alone. For nothing!

I can't live with that fact. I have to do something.

So, that's why I'm here with this now &amp; why Sirius didn't get to be my Secret Keeper. Protect your werewolf. Above all else, protect your werewolf.

The plan is this:

We tell everyone Sirius is my Secret Keeper.

But we use Peter instead.

* * *

"EH?" Harry suddenly had a Canadienne accent. "Peter..." He strained his eyes, trying to read on. Unlike the other entries, this one was hard to read. There were many places were the ink had been run &amp; words were blotched. By now, Harry was sure that the entire entry was tear-stained nearly beyond recognition. In fact, there was a large gap between two paragraphs that was stained a dark red. Harry was sure it was blood from his own father; possibly from that extra deep cut he had recently done oozing out through the bandage. But the important parts were clear. It was good enough to free Sirius &amp; even Remus.

* * *

If Remus is our traitor, he'll turn his own mate in to Voldemort to be killed as there was no way Sirius could betray me since he simply wouldn't remember this place unless the charm is lifted. I'm only agreeing to this to prove Sirius wrong. Remus wouldn't hurt anyone. But that's a problem.

See, if Remus is not the traitor, the real one will still go after Sirius. No one is to know about Peter. Not even Dumbledore &amp; least of all, Remus. It is actually an excellent plan. Two Secret Keepers for the price of one. Everyone wins. Except me, being cut off from Sirius for ever.

My sweet Grim really set himself up here. I'm leaving my journal here for him, in case he needs proof to clear his name. I plan to track him down to at least tell him about this before I go home. I've set up a false wall similar to platform 9 &amp; three quarters, but with one difference. Only a blood relative can get through. Not Peter. Not Remus (just...in case). Not even Lily. Only Sirius &amp; by default my soon-to-be two children.

Sirius Padfoot Black, my Grim, is my decoy. Only my decoy.

Peter Wormtail Pettigrew, my Rat, is my Secret Keeper.

Please, just this one time. Protect my Grim &amp; hopefully my Rat.

~~signed: James Prongs Potter, Stag

* * *

Harry had both hands over his mouth. There was no doubt about it. Sirius Black was innocent! He had been framed. But he hadn't been given over to Voldemort. Sirius had been out &amp; about until after James &amp; Lily died. Remus never turned him in. Remus was in the clear.

"The Rat. NOW you mention what Wormtail is!" Harry glared. Then it hit him. He grabbed the Azkaban photo &amp; showed that Sirius the cage. "A rat?" Sirius dropped his Azkaban plaque, gaping. "Rat. Wormtail? My friend's pet rat?" Sirius smacked his forehead, staring at the cage. Harry suddenly felt cold from shock. Sirius had orders to kill the traitor on sight. No wonder he was out there trying to complete his last mission.

Harry sat there as the sun lit up the room as morning dawned. Sirius was innocent. Remus was innocent.

It was Peter. Rat. Scabbers? Come to think of it, that Rat has been ill ever since that trip from Egypt. Sirius Black had escaped around that same time.

Neither Harry or Remus was the target.

The target was Scabbers!

Suddenly, Harry shot down the stairs like a bullet from a gun. He grabbed his Firebolt &amp; fled outside.

The time had come to meet Sirius Black again.

_(AN: While that is the end of the diary, it is not the end of the story. More to come! A lot more than I originally planned since I had a more recent brainstorm on how to end this. :D )_


	33. Chapter 33

FINALLY done with those *#&amp;$*#&amp;$-ing divider lines! OMG that was such a pain in the ass!

Anyway. Sorry. Had to rant. Grr!

* * *

**(33) Truth Will Set You Free**

Harry took to the skies above Hogwarts &amp; turned away from the sun a bit so he could see. He opened the Map &amp; began searching for Sirius Black. He hovered between two high turrets for nearly forty minutes searching the Map, branching out over the grounds to the very edge.

He was about to give up but then, he saw Sirius running towards the edge of the Map, following the river into the mountains. The marks were four tiny dog paw prints indicating that he was in Grim form. Harry wiped the Map &amp; tucked it away, then shot out across the lake to the mouth of the river. He followed it beyond the Map's borders, coming to a thin tall waterfall spilling over a cliff. Sirius was sitting as Padfoot on the ground below next to the water. Harry plunged.

Padfoot's face suddenly whipped upwards to stare at Harry. He jumped to his feet &amp; Sirius Black appeared a moment later. Harry landed, tossed the Firebolt aside &amp; promptly hugged Sirius who looked rather confused. Though he promised himself otherwise, Harry felt himself crying. He tried to stop.

Sirius pushed Harry away, holding him at arm's length. "What's wrong little one? Who hurt you?"

"I—"

A shadow swooped over them, causing both to glance up. A black horse had just jumped off the top of the cliff &amp; was now running literally straight down towards them, a golden glint on its forehead &amp; a rider on its back. "Holy Phoenix! I knew he was a good horseman but I didn't think he was that good!" It took Harry a moment to register the fact that Professor Lupin had just run his Unicorn, Paris, over the cliff &amp; was hurtling towards them. He was leaning back in the saddle, as if lying along the back of Paris, working against the gravity of going down the cliff. "Fly Harry! Fly now!" Sirius shifted to Padfoot &amp; bounded off. Harry jumped on his broom &amp; launched straight up into the air, watching the horse &amp; rider plunge gracefully downward.

The hooves of Paris hit the bottom &amp; as she levelled out, Remus sat straight in her saddle once more. He guided her in Sirius's direction. Harry knew Sirius would die if Remus got to close. He had to do something. Harry headed for Sirius as well. Unlike Remus, Harry didn't have to dodge trees or jump over water courses or logs.

Yet somehow, Remus still managed to reach Sirius first. He drove Paris right through Sirius, striking his side. The Grim actually spun in the air before falling to the ground. Sirius appeared the moment his body hit the earth. Remus dismounted as Paris slowed to a trot &amp; went to graze. He raised his wand. "Now you die!"

"Wait please!"

"_Non (No)!"_ Remus glared gold. "Avad—"

Harry slammed into the pair. He fell off as the Firebolt tipped handle over tail on the ground. Remus went sprawling, dropping his wand while Sirius fell on his side to avoid getting hit as much as possible. Both men glared at Harry.

Harry stumbled to his feet, shaking himself. He was dazed from the blow to the ground. He looked at Sirius &amp; Remus who were both still staring at him. "Sorry. Wind. See it started unexpectedly &amp; well ..." Sirius blinked. Remus blinked. "Yeah it's tailspin. You know. Very bad &amp; I just...got...caught." Remus blinked. Sirius blinked. So did Harry. "Never mind. He's innocent. It's Peter you want."

"Thank God!" Sirius clapped his hands together as he got to his knees. "Finally! SOMEONE figures it out!" Remus snatched up his wand &amp; turned to glare at him. "I've been trying to tell you for ages Moony!"

Remus growled, baring fangs. Keeping his eyes on Sirius he said, "Harry you're confused. Black must have cursed you. Just wait."

"Peter is the traitor!" Harry repeated. "I can explain. Please!"

"Harry," Remus began.

"I dare you to listen to his side of the story!"

Remus glared at Harry, then Sirius. "How does Jim's kid know our ways?" Sirius simply shrugged pathetically. "Harry, Black just told you that," Remus looked back at Harry. In an instant, Sirius had wrenched his wand from his hand. Remus yelped as a bolt of power pushed him to his knees. "Harry ...look. How can you say he's innocent when he does this?" Remus looked up into those pale grey eyes. He couldn't believe his own mate would do this to him. This was not how it was supposed to end.

"If you have half an idea of how much erotic porn I had to read through to get that information, you wouldn't say that!" Harry shot back.

"What?" Remus &amp; Sirius were once more staring at Harry.

"UGH!" Harry rubbed his face with both hands. "Never mind." He picked up something in his left hand. "Trust us Professor. I'll let Sirius explain. I'll leave you two alo—why can't I fly?" Harry glared at whatever he had in his hand. A very long branch. The Firebolt lay useless on his other side. Grumbling, Harry tried all that again.

"HAROLD JAMES EVANS POTTER! YOU COME BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!" Remus shook his fist at the sky. "Don't think you can say something like that &amp; get away with me!"

"Laters!" Harry called cheekily over his shoulder as he flew ever higher.

"Erot...Moony. What the hell kind of class are you teaching?" Remus just glared. Sirius sighed &amp; lowered the wand. He offered it back to Remus. "I'd really like to know." He winked.

Remus wrenched his wand back. "Shut up!" Sirius just laughed. "I'd like to know to," Remus pressed on. "I doubt he'd get a book like that from the library here. But how on Earth could he think you're innocent from something like that?" He was stroking his wand with his free hand, glaring at Sirius.

"No idea," Sirius shrugged. "Will you—"

Harry suddenly dropped between them once more. "Almost forgot. You!" He pointed at Sirius. "Come here." Sirius scowled at him. "Now!"

"What?" Sirius grumbled, feeling as if he was in 'Sirius' trouble. Next moment, he was screaming various swears of various languages while crashing to his knees &amp; clutching himself.

"OH MY!" Remus clapped both hands over his mouth, glancing between Sirius &amp; Harry, looking as if he was about to burst out laughing.

"That was for calling Mum a hag in 6th year!" Harry glared, getting on his broom again.

"Don't! Remember! That!" Sirius wheezed, falling onto his side, still hanging on.

"I'll explain later then," Harry snarled.

"It hurts!"

"I'm quite sure he," Harry jerked his thumb over his shoulder towards Remus. "will have no problems kissing it better for you."

"HARRY WHAT THE FU….hell. HELL. What's wrong with you?!" Remus screeched.

"What? Aren't you his mate? Isn't it your job?" Harry mounted his broom as Remus just gaped. "Professor, remember the dare!" At that he took off once more.

"I'm going to kill him," Remus snarled to himself under breath.

"UGH!" Sirius moaned. He slowly but surely stood up. Remus kept his wand raised. "Sweet Merlin! He kicks like a freakin' mule!" Remus's mouth twitched, but his eyes were gold &amp; glaring. "I really don't remember! Anyway, whatever. Will you please let me explain what happened now?" Remus patted Paris's nose, then dropped sharply onto a stump, wand still held tightly. He continued to glare gold at Sirius. "I've missed you so," Sirius began.

Remus stood up as if he had changed his mind. "I don't care how you feel. My heart is so shattered that it's unlikely I even have one anymore. Don't tell me you missed me. Don't tell me you still love me. I don't believe a word of it. You have one minute, then you'll probably die."

"Fine," Sirius gave up. "It'll take much longer than a minute."

"Forty-seven seconds, Black!"

Sirius gritted his teeth. Remus had more venom in his words than in his teeth at the moment. "Then I can't tell you anything. I'll just have to show you."

"Hurry it up. I have a pup to kill," Remus shot a dark look at the sky, fangs bared.

Sirius had the good sense to resist the urge to say he would help &amp; spoke softly. "May I?" Sirius slowly raised his hands. "There's a page of an old Daily Prophet in my shirt."

"Easy!" Remus hissed long &amp; low. As Sirius moved to take out the page, Remus growled. He silently handed over his only proof, hoping Remus wouldn't tear it to shreds before thinking. Remus snatched it. A rip did form but not enough to destroy the picture. Still seeing gold, he glared at a picture of Egypt with the entire Weasley family in front.

"Look at Ron's shoulder."

Remus did so. The gold faded. The gritted fangs loosened. He looked up at Sirius. He dropped the page as if he had been holding fire, shaking his head.

Sirius dared to move closer. "Peter tricked us all." Remus fell cross-legged to the ground, panting. "Now will you listen to me?" Remus closed his eyes. Sirius knelt down before him &amp; launched into a full explanation.

By the time he was finished, Remus lying down, crying softly. Paris nosed down over them, her long horn glinting in the sun, being attracted to her master's whimpering like a lost puppy. Sirius took hold of Remus's right hand, then leaned over to nuzzle into his shoulder as a pack mate greeting the Alpha.

Remus lay still, trying to recover his wits. He had been so close to killing his own mate. Everything could have gone so wrong so fast. "If what you say is true," Remus suddenly spoke, pulling his hand away from Sirius. "It is better not to love me. I've hated you for twelve years. So long, only to find out you don't deserve it."

Sirius watched Paris parade herself about before answering. "You've hated me a lot longer than twelve years, Remus." He sighed before going on. "When Dumbledore announced a traitor, our link began to fade. No trust. Dying love. All I ever wanted to do was take you away someplace safe. We stopped talking &amp; rarely even saw each other even though we shared the same house, same bed. Remus, it broke my heart!"

"I ...Pad..."

"But I was no different, was I?" Sirius went on. "I started suspecting you early on."

"I heard that someone was trying to set me up," Remus managed to say. "We all thought it was you trying to get rid of me."

"Not James," Sirius gasped. "I should have listened to him."

"James?"

Sirius sighed before explaining his final encounter with James, leaving out more intimate details. After a moment, he added, "What the hell happened to us? We were so close."

"I ... I fell back on something," Remus all but whispered. "Back in our fifth year. It was easy to stop trusting you."

"Oh Moony!" Sirius stood up &amp; began pacing. "I thought you'd forgiven me for that?"

"I did," Remus shrugged. "Until I didn't anymore. Talked myself into thinking, oh he betrayed me once, he can do it again."

"I learned my lesson with that!" Sirius shot back. "I said never again &amp; I meant it. To this day I've kept that promise."

"This whole mess!" Remus pushed his greying bangs away. "It's all my fault."

"Peter betrayed Jim, not you," Sirius said, sitting down beside Remus on the ground. "It isn't your fault."

Remus pushed both Sirius &amp; Paris away to sit up. "I heard you were asking for me as they were dragging you off to Azkaban. You had a message for me. Back then, I thought it would be along the lines of 'I'm next' or something like that. But it was this, wasn't it?" Sirius nodded mutely. "I never once went to visit you, not even to rant &amp; rave or even try to murder you in your cell." He gasped in a much needed breath before going on. "And I'm not here to teach. That's just my cover. I'm here to kill you so I could be free. Turns out, you're the one who needs to be free. What kind of a horrible mate am I?"

"I blame Peter. Fully," Sirius began. "Actually, I blame myself to. I started mistrusting you. I'm the one who came up with the idea to trick you. Really, Moony. I'm the one who killed...ohhh! Jim! What have I done?"

"Ah Padfoot," Remus put a hand on Sirius's face, wiping away tears. "It was a very good plan. Just ...wrong guy."

"Now Jim &amp; Lily are gone," said Sirius. "I have a date with a Dementor. Oh Remus! I was terrified I couldn't get the truth to you in time. In case," He sighed heavily. "In case I got caught &amp; ... &amp; it happens."

Remus shook his head. "If we can find the rat, it won't happen." He remained silent for a while, thinking. If Sirius was telling the truth, he was going to need help. If he was lying &amp; had somehow added a picture of Wormtail, Remus needed him in sight for Harry's sake. Harry! Remus suddenly found a way out of this mess. Harry was friends with Ron. He could tell him about any pets Ron ever had. "I'll need Padfoot," he suddenly went on. "You can stay in my office but do not change into Sirius. Ever. Not without me around!"

"Remus, I don't think we should. Peter could kill us both if we're together."

"He wouldn't dare right under Dumbledore's nose," Remus stood up.

"Moony," Sirius stood up as well &amp; pulled Remus close to him. "If it does happen then ... then kill me. Break our bond. Find a new mate."

"Why?"

"It wouldn't do to be linked to me after something like that," Sirius said. "Promise me you'll set yourself free if it happens." Remus stared at him, eyes partly gold. Sirius suddenly gasped &amp; pressed a hand to his head. "Ray stop! What are you doing?"

"Sorry," Remus sighed. "Our link is so damaged, I can't read you any more. Haven't done so in years."

"You were trying to reconnect," said Sirius, rubbing his forehead.

"I can't feel you," Remus explained. "Can't feel your intentions. Your presence. Nothing. The only bit of our link left is what would kill me if you went with someone else. It's been that way forever. Always Sirius. We have never had a completely open link." He crouched down by Paris's left stirrup, feeling weak. "This is not how a wolf is supposed to be married."

"There was a time I thought you were dead," Sirius said as Remus slowly stood up &amp; get ready to mount Paris. "A few days after I was put in Azkaban, I stopped feeling you completely. I couldn't tell if you were dead or the Dementors shut what was left out."

Remus stared long &amp; hard into the saddle, but said nothing. Paris sighed, bored. He finally got up. "I want you away from the Dementors," Remus spoke at last. "Come with me. I have an idea that should sort this out &amp; get our hands on Peter." He avoided Sirius's gaze. There was a good reason the link had severed almost completely but it was the last thing Remus wanted to talk about right now. As soon as Sirius transformed, he kicked Paris into high speed &amp; returned to Hogwarts with a Grim hot on his horse's hooves.

Remus remained mostly quiet for once during his next class. He had set the students to a written pop quiz in preparation for the upcoming exams, or so he said. Towards the end, he announced a practical quiz coming up the next Monday that would require everyone's pets.

Ron raised his hand into the air. Knowing what was coming, Harry made himself scarce, inching towards the door &amp; pretending to be very occupied with his book. "Sir? I no longer have a pet." Hermione scoffed &amp; folded her arms. Remus went very still. Ron was the very one he had wanted to target. No pet? So Sirius did lie? Was Wormtail added into the frame? As horrific thoughts filled his mind, Ron went on. "Someone's cat killed it!" Hermione continued to scoff &amp; pose in a grumpy manner.

"Complete rubbish!" She finally muttered. "You keep your door closed. How can my cat get into your room to eat your rat?"

Remus relaxed. So there was a rat after all. He doubted a cat would kill Wormtail. "I'm sure it's just missing somew—"

"Oh fine! Take her side!" Ron stormed out. "Sir." He muttered over his shoulder to an astonished Remus.

"Rubbish!" Hermione stalked out after, putting a hand on Harry's arm to pull him along.

"I want Harry a moment," Remus said. She let go, rolled her eyes &amp; huffing, left in a foul mood.

"They've been at it all year," Harry tried to explain. "You taking her side really messed Ron up." He tried not to accuse but it just happened.

Remus rubbed his brow. "I didn't mean it like that."

"The problem is," Harry went on. "If Scabbers really is Peter, could a cat even do that?"

Remus sighed, burying his face in both hands for a moment. "Oh Merlin! I wonder if I made a mistake." Harry sat down at his desk again, waiting. "I want ...so much...to believe Sirius. I miss him so. I don't know what to do. He's here. Right now. Up in the office." Remus nodded towards the stairs leading up to the teacher's personal office. "As Padfoot."

"That's good," Harry said.

"I must be absolutely sure he's telling the truth. I can't risk endangering you," Remus handed over the picture. "Are you sure that is the same rat your friend has?"

"Yeah, that's Scabbers alright."

"I had to ask. There is a chance that this rat is simply planted in. Dark Wizards come up with anything to get their way."

"Well Sirius isn't Dark," Harry stated simply. "But I understand your need for caution."

Remus sighed heavily, staring at the floor. "I'm so ...terrified of getting my hopes up. I have so many enchantments on that door that he doesn't know about, just in case."

"There's no need. He isn't lying. It is Peter, not Sirius."

"Harry," Remus sat down backwards on the desk in front of Harry so that they were face to face. "I need to ask you something &amp; depending on your answer, I'll either kill Sirius right now or let him go." They stared each other down. "I need to know what book you read that gave such personal information?"

Harry's jaw ticked. He had been expecting this. "Passion Year but you won't find it anywhere in a Wizard or Muggle library as it's a diary of sorts, not a public book."

"Whose?"

"One of the Marauders," Harry went on vaguely. "I found it in your conference room down in the dungeons. It's shaped sort of like a triangle. The light makes a circular glow on it. There are two long sofas &amp; one long table in the center."

Remus sat back, glaring gold. "You describe that room perfectly but I know very well that it's blocked off. There's a brick wall there now. No one can get in."

"That's …not entirely true."

"What? Which part?"

"The brick wall was built by a Marauder using blood. SOME people can get through. Not you. In fact, least of all ...you."

Remus stared for a moment. He sighed &amp; leaned forward. "May I have that diary?"

"No."

Remus huffed. "Harry, I need to see this proof you have."

"There are only two people besides me who are allowed to read that diary. One of them is dead &amp; you are not the other person."

"I dare you to show me that diary."

"Screw that. This pack has been scattered for years. I don't give a rat's arse about some stupid dare." Harry didn't care about dares. He had something bigger, far worse for Moony, planned. His only hope was that he would live to see the end of it.

Remus glared at him, amber swirls appearing. "You're the only pup born in this pack," a slightly altered voice said. Moony had been roused. "I am your Alpha."

"Oh no you're not," Harry glared defiantly back. The trap had been set &amp; the werewolf had flipped nose over tail into it. Harry hoped his plan would work. If not, he was dead. He stood up &amp; said in a louder voice. "_**I**_ am the Alpha."

"You insol—" Remus began to rise to his feet.

"Go ahead!" Harry plunged on. "Challenge me! I dare you! I have no silver. No Spirit. Nothing against you. Want to be Alpha? You'll have to kill me." Fangs gritted so hard they nearly cracked, Remus growled long &amp; slow. Harry bared his own teeth in reply. After a short moment, Harry added. "Well, isn't that what we are ALL trying to avoid, my Omega?"

Remus's jaw dropped in shock. Omega? To Harry Potter? "You!" He snarled. "You...stupid boy! Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?"

"I did not give you permission to speak, Omega!"

"I—Wh...?" Remus spluttered.

"Challenge denied. Sit down!" Harry pointed to the nearest chair. Remus sat down, having a hard time believing what just happened. Several minutes passed as he glared at the floor. He had lost the Alpha rank to the one &amp; only pup in the pack. Stupid fawn was lucky—so so lucky—that he had been tamed enough to control his inner wolf. At the moment, Moony was so enraged that he didn't care if he killed the son of Prongs right here &amp; now, but Remus forced him down. Harry's voice brought him back to reality. "You ok?"

Remus stared at him through a golden haze. "I hate you," Moony's low growl snarled. "I don't care that you're the son of Prongs! Don't you dare turn your back on me for a while. Don't you dare!"

"Come on, Professor," Harry whispered more to himself. "I know you're in there somewhere. Help me a bit!"

Green slowly came through gold. "I'm having a very hard time with Moony right now. You know our ways too well. No one has ever even denied a challenge before. It's unheard of. If I ever find out who taught you ..."

"Dad."

"That damn diary again?" Remus muttered. Harry nodded. Remus grumbled under breath before asking, "So who IS allowed to read it then?"

"Sirius," Harry answered. "Now will you bring him to me?"

"Fine," Remus got up &amp; with a graceful leap, landed on the top banister of the tiny balcony. He went into his office &amp; explained the diary to Sirius.

Sirius transformed back &amp; sat on the edge of the chair. "Never heard of it."

"I'm really getting tired of all these secrets," Remus sighed wearily.

"I swear I don't know!" Sirius declared. "Please don't be mad at me anymore."

"It isn't you this time," Remus huffed. "It's Harry." He hesitated a moment, then explained what Harry had just become to them.

"That's it. I really am going to kill him!" Sirius made as if to march out the door. Remus grabbed his arm. "Stupid! Didn't he know how dangerous that was?" Sirius fumed.

"He knows," said Remus. "Believe me, he knows. I think he's hiding something."

"Hiding something?"

"Wait here a bit longer," Remus headed back to Harry. "He never heard of it."

Harry stared at him. "That can't be right! The final entry stated that he was going to tell Sirius about the diary before going home."

"Enough Harry," Remus put up a hand. "Either show me this fabled diary or Sirius dies. Right here! Right now!"

"Are you challenging your Alpha?"

"Ohh enough with this nonsense already, Harry!"

"I asked you to bring me Sirius, not play owl between him &amp; I! Where is Sirius?"

"Still up there."

Harry opened his bag &amp; half-pulled out a book. The title appeared. "Here's the book." He dropped it back into his bag &amp; gripped it tightly to his chest. "Alright now? I showed you."

"Give it here!" Remus held out his hand. Harry didn't move. "Harold! GIVE ME THAT DIARY!"

"Make me," Harry stood his ground. They glared at each other. Suddenly, Harry's right brow was throbbing. Remus had punched him! Harry shook his head but didn't back down. His bent glasses slipped partly down his nose.

Remus growled softly. "Sorry. Moony made me try."

"You can tell Moony to either stuff it or kill me," Harry shot back, ignoring the urge to wipe the blood drop slowly creeping into his eye or fix his glasses. Not one sign of weakness. He had to hold on to the rank.

"You're driving us both crazy!"

"Good!"

Remus raised his hand as if to backhand Harry across the face but he didn't. "Pup! If you were my son right now!" He lowered his hand, then turned away &amp; let out a long low growl. Harry shifted so he could put the bag under himself &amp; sit on it.

"Sirius didn't write it, right?" Remus asked as he sat down on the edge of the desk.

"Right."

"What about Peter then?"

"No."

"Well I certainly didn't!" Remus snapped. "So that leaves Jim." Harry nodded but didn't say anything. He was determined not to expose his father's shame if he could avoid it.

"May I speak to Sirius now, please?" Harry demanded once more.

Remus began chuffing as he glared up at the door. He suddenly stood up &amp; headed for the office. "His blood is on your head."

"There is something I can tell you."

Remus stopped walking &amp; turned to glare at Harry. "Oh really? What is it?"

"I know the last entry off by heart," Harry began. "The last half of that entry is about the plan to deceive everyone." Harry recited it, leaving out the cutting &amp; the bloodstain as well as anything remotely connected to the affair between his father &amp; Sirius.

Remus scoffed under breath. Folding his arms he said, "Jim was a horrible writer. I had to redo most of his essays. He's the last person to write anything erotic. He doesn't strike me as one to write a romance novel."

"It isn't a novel, it's a diary of a year of his life," Harry corrected. "He added stuff to it through out the year."

"You saying your Dad's the one involved in this ero...oh wow Harry!" Remus laughed &amp; Harry had the distinct impression Remus didn't believe him. Harry's choices were dwindling to two. Force the dominance to the point of getting killed or ...he hated the second option almost as much as the first.

"Yes he was a bit detailed at times," Harry grumbled. "Bit annoying."

Remus rolled his eyes. "So what was his year of passion then? His honeymoon with Lily? Harry, have you really been reading about your parents like that?"

"That has nothing to do with this," Harry glared. "Where do you think I got Sherlock Holmes from? Or the platypus named Philip? Or the humpback whales that nearly ate all five of you one summer?"

Remus stared at him. "Well ...your photo album."

"No, the brick wall was put up after the final date in that album. Those in the album wouldn't think of mentioning something so random as platypodes or Sherlock &amp; I wouldn't think to ask about such specific things unless I had heard or read about it. The diary had all that &amp; more in it," Harry then laughed. "It's where I got the condom story from. I just wanted your side of things. I even know about the Koi fish proposal."

Remus jumped in his seat as if startled. "Harry some of ...a lot of…Harry, you're mentioning stuff from sixth year." He stood up. "...Harry…" His eyes drifted to part of the bag sticking out from under Harry. They shared a look &amp; in that moment both knew that the other knew something had happened during that year. Harry more so perhaps. Remus turned &amp; headed for the office.

Harry jumped to his feet. "Don't kill him! Professor you're wrong. My fa—"

"I'm not going to kill him," Remus said. "Not yet." Harry collapsed back into his chair. He had come so close to blurting out what had really happened. But so far, he managed to narrowly avoid it.

Remus marched into his office. Sirius looked up at him from his place on the armchair. Sirius jumped to his feet as Remus turned away &amp; began pacing. The wolf looked on the verge of tears. After a few minutes of pacing, he sat down at the large desk in the center of the room, burying his face in his hands.

Sirius stood behind him &amp; after a moment's hesitation, he put one hand on Remus's shaking shoulders. "I hate seeing you in pain, sweetheart."

"Oh God!" Remus cried out. "Oh God, Sirius. I don't know what to do!"

Sirius closed his eyes. James had once admitted the same thing. He slowly put his other hand onto Remus &amp; began rubbing the shoulder blades. Remus remained still. He didn't move in to Sirius's touch, but he didn't pull away either. They were being very careful with each other. "What's wrong?" Sirius finally asked.

"That diary Harry has," Remus whispered. "I think ..." He looked up over his shoulder to see Sirius. "I know something happened to Jim at the start of our sixth year." Sirius let out a tiny inaudible to human ears gasp &amp; let his hands drop. But the wolf heard just fine. "Perhaps there is one secret that should remain uncovered." He stood up &amp; looked down at Sirius's hands, wondering if he should take one. In the end, he decided to walk alone. "Come with me." He called over his shoulder as he reached the door. With a flick of his wand, he transferred the enchantments from the office door to the classroom door. "No one can walk in on us right now."

"Sirius!" Harry was at once relieved to see him, but his relief was soon gone. "What's wrong?" Sirius didn't answer but continued to watch Harry with a slightly shocked expression. How much did Harry know? What the hell did James do?

Remus went to sit at the teacher's front desk, letting Sirius take the seat in front of Harry. Sirius leaned forward &amp; whispered. "That diary. What are the dates?"

"Starts a week before your sixth year," Harry whispered back. Sirius closed his eyes &amp; Harry could see a few tears fall. "Ends with the humpback whales." Sirius actually snickered. "But then a footnote appears from 1981." Harry explained the final entry, leaving out the bit about the cutting &amp; the bloodstain in the center of it.

"I never got the message," Sirius said. "Never saw him until after he died." A long moment of silence passed. "Harry ...how much do you know?"

Harry put his hands between them so Remus couldn't see, then did the hand sign for crucifixion. "Thanks for taking care of him that year."

"You know everything," Sirius sighed softly.

"Yeah he was," Harry glanced over Sirius. "Quite detailed." He handed over a picture. A drawing with only one charm to change from black &amp; white to color &amp; back again.

Sirius stared at it a moment before putting one hand over his mouth as he cried silently. "Oh Jim!" Sirius shook his head as if to clear it. "So, that's where you got all your information from?"

"Yeah," Harry nodded. "It was meant for you all along but ...I guess my Dad couldn't find you. He had to get back so they could do that secret charm thing."

"Fidelus, yeah that was a bust," Sirius muttered. "Oh Harry! It's all my fault! It was my stupid idea." He leaned over the desktop, his face in his arms.

Harry stared at Sirius's hands &amp; suddenly, Padfoot appeared. A Native tattoo of a large dog but it wasn't how he imagined her. The Padfoot he had read about was always running about, sniffing, doing what dogs do. This one had her tail between her legs, cowering. She was skinny. Ragged. Her eyes were searching &amp; terrified. She avoided the prison tattoos over Sirius's fingers &amp; even winced if she touched one. Suddenly, still in a cowering crouch, she fled up Sirius's arm out of sight under his striped prison shirt.

Sirius raised his head. "She was looking for Prongs. She thought for one moment that he was here. She saw you. She likes you but right now, she just wants to be alone."

"These past twelve years must be hard on her too," Harry said.

Sirius nodded once. "So what's this about you being the Alpha?"

"Moony was wasting my time," Harry shrugged. "I learned about wolf ranks a while ago when I read books on wolves."

Sirius took hold of Harry's face, looking sideways. "Looks like you need to learn when to duck."

"Or when not to," Harry corrected.

Sirius let go &amp; leaned back. "You do know our ways. Too well."

Harry half smiled as picked up his bag again. "I think this is yours by the way. Moony's too." He spoke loudly enough to let Remus know he was allowed back in the conversation.

Sirius jumped to his feet. "MOONY! LOOK!"

Remus glared gold as he stalked towards them. He snatched his precious Map out of Harry's hands. "I haven't the slightest idea how this Map came into your possession Harry," he began.

"Who cares?" Sirius &amp; Harry interrupted.

"We can use it to find Peter now," Harry added.

"We'll discuss this," Remus tapped the Map with his free hand, indicating it was to be the topic. "later."

"Oh sure, along with three hundred some odd points you owe me!" Harry folded his arms, glaring.

"Yeah Moonlove!" Sirius copied Harry. "We're all Gryffindors. Give us points! Now!"

"We both outrank you little Omega," Harry teased. "So obey us."

"You're both bloody pathetic!" Remus snarled, but as he turned away, he was smirking for once.

_(AN: Stole some Star Trek: The Next Generation &amp; Independence Day lines for this one. Also ripped off the Snowy River movies with the horse ride down the cliff.)_


	34. Chapter 34

By the way, Somalanin38, we seem to have a similar idea about the Sirius/Remus thing but in reverse order. I view it as 'too quick to forgive' &amp; it causes problems later. Like a roller-coaster ride. I think it may have something to do with the OWL incident with Sirius being accepted back as a friend &amp; then after Azkaban he tries to return the favor for Remus. So they will have a moment but spiral downward again. (I will fix them eventually but later :P )

As for Dumbledore, it isn't shown in the movies but in the books Sirius had little respect for him. He helped him only as an Order member.

Also, this chapter will be more on the M side.

* * *

**(34) Wolfstar**

After sending Harry out to his next classes, Remus put the old Map into his pocket. He looked at Sirius long &amp; hard. "Alright," he sighed. "I believe you."

Sirius burst into tears &amp; pulled Remus close to him. "It was so hard without you. I'm so sorry!" They held each other for a long time in silence. Sirius whispered softly,_ "Je t'aime (I love you)_. I've been waiting a long time to say that again."

"What a mess," Remus nipped Sirius on the neck.

Sirius managed a laugh. "It wouldn't be us if it wasn't. You know, I've been in love with you since I was fourteen. I guess it's why I was so stupid back then, especially near the end of our OWL year."

"Oh as opposed to you not being stupid before that?" Remus teased.

"Oh shut up," Sirius pouted, pulling away.

"But this is different," Remus went on. "The OWL prank was entirely your fault. You deserved every last bit of proverbial venom I spat at you."

"I know."

"Not this time though," Remus shook his head. "I've hated you for many years, but you've done nothing. Yet you say you still love me! You're a better man than I."

"I don't blame you," Sirius put a hand on Remus's face. "How I've missed you!"

It was Remus's turn to cry. "Padfoot! I'm sorry!" At long last, he leaned into Sirius &amp; kissed him for the first time in twelve years. Or at least, he tried to.

Sirius had started laughing. "At least the Ministry is getting what they want. Some Dark creature kissing me. Ow! What? It's true!"

Remus just smacked him. "You're such a jerk!" He shook his head, putting both hands around Sirius's face for a moment, then passing them down his arms. He held up their hands between them, staring at the numerical prison tattoos. His voice distant &amp; cracked, he barely managed to speak. "These can never come off."

"Shh," Sirius opened his top a little. "You know I have many biker tattoos. I'm thinking of getting some more to overlay these. They'll get disguised."

Standing on her hind legs with her front paws draped over the top of the large tattoo across Sirius's chest, was Padfoot. Her tail was wagging for once &amp; she was barking, though it couldn't be heard by the human or werewolf. She had spotted Remus who moved in &amp; kissed her. "This is the only tattoo I'm worried about. She doesn't look to good any more."

"She's doing a lot better since the past few hours," Sirius said.

"I missed you," a woman's voice suddenly spoke. Remus's eyes flicked up to Sirius's face. Sirius had fangs at the moment. Remus stared transfixed. This had never happened before. Not to him at least as he didn't know Padfoot had once appeared to James. "I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever see you again. Are you still a wolf?"

"_Oui (Yes)._ How...how is this possible?"

"I thought maybe a cure might have been found by now," Padfoot went on. "I am a Spirit guide you know. Don't worry. My host approves of my take over."

"Course he would," Remus snickered. "You're a woman. I know what Animagic is, but I've never heard of the Spirit taking over the host in this way."

"We were human once," Padfoot said. Then she looked around, using Sirius's eyes. "Is the horned one back then?"

"The horned one? You mean Prongs?" Remus shook his head. "No he's dead. Well his host is. James Potter. I don't know if the Spirit merged with anyone new yet."

Padfoot sighed. "The fawn looked so much like him, I thought maybe he was. But I noticed he was too young. Had to be Harry, not James."

"Yeah. He's growing up &amp; a lot like his father."

"Good. I'll see you next full moon." Padfoot submerged. The fangs disappeared.

Sirius shook himself. "That is so weird!"

"Yeah, I've never seen something like that before," Remus agreed.

Sirius grabbed hold of Remus's hands again. "Never again," He pulled Remus close &amp; kissed him long &amp; deep. "No matter what happens or what anyone says. I will never shut you out again. I don't care if someone orders me something is top secret &amp; I'm not allowed to speak of it. You'll be told, no matter what."

"Same here," Remus gasped in one breath. "I can't survive something like this again, Padfoot."

"Neither can I."

They held each other for several minutes, becoming used to each other once more. They had been torn apart for years &amp; now both were taking each moment as if it was an eternity. Each kiss was long. Each touch was lingering.

Remus finally stepped away. "I need Padfoot." Sirius transformed as Remus released the charms on the door that blocked anyone from coming in. He led Sirius through the lost passages ways as much as possible until they came to the Prefect's Bathroom. Once inside, Remus blocked the door. With another flick of his wand, the tub began filling. Sirius changed back. Remus put one hand on each side of the V-shirt &amp; promptly ripped it right off, then went to work on the pants.

"I never!" Rip. "Want to see you!" Rip. "In stripes again!" He finally had ripped off the prison robes entirely. With a well placed Diffindo, Remus had cut off Sirius's hair back to its original length. He ran one hand up Sirius's front as Padfoot ran along until he reached the shoulders. "Never again! Get in. Incendio!" The robes &amp; cut hair burst into flames as Sirius slipped into the water.

Remus knelt down on the side &amp; began working on Sirius's new cut. Sirius looked up at him. "Aren't you going to join me?"

Remus glared gold. "Not now, Padfoot!"

"It would repair our link," said Sirius.

Remus smiled softly. Repairing the bond would allow him to feel what Sirius was feeling. It would be the ultimate confirmation of his innocence. He shook himself. "We need to focus here." He attempted to wash Sirius's hair again. Sirius went under &amp; swam to the far edge of the pool.

"Come get me," Sirius winked. Remus merely barked at him, a loud baying sound like an insulted hound dog. The mermaid in the picture giggled at Remus. He hissed at her. She promptly made a rude sign in retaliation. Scoffing in disbelief, Remus gaped at her as she proceeded to flip him her tail as well. Remus snarled.

"Shall I leave you two alone?" Sirius teased. Remus glared at him. "Come on &amp; do your job, as Harry put it."

"You know, maybe Voldemort does have a good reason to kill Harry," Remus grumbled.

"Maybe," Sirius shrugged. "Come here."

"After! Would you get back here?" Remus complained. Immaturely, he stuck his tongue out at the empty mermaid picture.

"Getting old. You're no fun," Sirius grumbled. He went under to swim back. But he didn't surface again. Remus leaned out over the water, waiting &amp; looking for him. Suddenly the water parted right under him &amp; Sirius came up, wrapped his arms around Remus &amp; promptly hauled the snarling lunar monstrosity down under with him. Remus broke the surface a few moments later gasping &amp; spluttering.

"You idiot," Remus clutched at the edge. "Trying to drown me?"

Sirius just laughed at him. "Now you'll have to get undressed. That can't be comfortable, all wet like that." He sat on the underwater bench &amp; leaned back, arms spread over the edge of the great bath.

Remus stared at him. He recognized what Sirius was doing. This was the very place they had first mated in Hogwarts when they had come back for their final year. Sirius was in nearly the exact same spot. Remus suddenly felt as awkward as the first time any of the Marauders saw him naked &amp; scarred. He had been twelve years without a pack &amp; depressed on top of it. He had many more scars to show but this time, all of them were his own doing through Moony.

"Let's get you cleaned up first," Remus evaded, reaching for the washcloth.

"What's wrong Moonlove?"

"Nothing," Remus insisted. "After I'm done, I can turn the torches down. Then, perhaps."

Sirius pulled the cloth away &amp; threw it across the water, earning a growl. "Remus it's been twelve years."

"I know."

"You think I'm not expecting more scars?"

Remus stared at him. "I, uh ..."

"Twelve years without a pack," Sirius went on straight to the subject Remus was trying to avoid. "I'm honestly amazed you're still alive. I know you'll be scarred a lot more than last time we did this. You have a lot more grey than last time. I'd be a fool not to expect more scars."

Remus kept his eyes fixed on Padfoot who had her jaws clamped on the tip of her tail &amp; was now spinning wildly on the spot near the top of Sirius's left shoulder. Remus blinked hard. He was getting dizzy. It was amazing Tiny Bubbles could do that without falling over! "It's been ...quite brutal."

"Shh," Sirius crossed a finger over Remus's lips. "It's alright. They're a part of you." He leaned in &amp; kissed Remus.

Padfoot was now flat on her back. Remus kissed the spot where she lay as Sirius worked on removing his robe. It was rather hard to do since the material was wet &amp; clinging to every mountain &amp; valley spread upon Remus's body. Sirius passed one hand over the new layout. Remus wasn't kidding. It had been a brutal twelve years. There was hardly any flesh that was smooth now. It made life with Dementors look easy.

Sirius lay back, pulling Remus towards him. Remus slowly let himself float over. Finally after a long twelve years, he felt the heat of his mate once more. Remus actually growled, baring fangs. His eyes swirled between gold &amp; green. Sirius didn't correct his growl though. Werewolves were quite vocal &amp; this growl was reserved for mates. It was more of a long deep purr. Remus snatched up Sirius's shoulder where Padfoot was lying down in his jaws, yet somehow, he managed to control his grip &amp; not pierce Sirius right through.

Sirius held Remus so tightly, it was a wonder he didn't crack his ribs. He felt the wolf's sharp poisonous fangs grating his skin but he wasn't worried. Worse comes to worse, Remus would have to swallow a lot of black fur if Sirius had to change. Remus soon released the shoulder without biting through. Padfoot stayed in the same spot as Remus worked his fingers into Sirius's hair. "Still a few tangles," he gasped softly. "Might have to—mm—cut off more."

"Not to short!"

"No," Remus reached under the water between them to stroke Sirius. He leaned in closer to whisper in his ear. "It isn't."

"Oh come here," Sirius snickered before kissing Remus hard on the mouth.

They created larger waves as they became more frantic with each other. Remus put his hands on the edge to raise himself up a little so neither of them would drown. He suddenly let out a long low growl as he went over. Sirius gasped under him as they collapsed in a heap.

Remus moved to Sirius's side so they could sit back on the bench, letting the water come up to their shoulders. "I honestly thought I'd never feel that again."

"Neither did I," Sirius put a hand on Remus's hair. _"Je t'aime (I love you)."_

"_Je t'aime (I love you),"_ Remus whispered back, leaving a soft kiss in the center of Sirius's chest. Then he looked up into his eyes. "Never again."

"Mm-mm!" Sirius agreed, pulling Remus protectively to him. "Never."

"Oh Peter's going to pay for this," Remus suddenly growled, punching the wall of the bath behind them. "Don't kill him Sirius. I want him to hurt as much as we have first!"

"Don't worry," said Sirius. "He'll regret being born!"

"I think ...I KNOW I'm going to allow Moony to tear him up," Remus added. "It's about time that wolf tastes the flesh of humans. Let's feed Peter to him."

Sirius kissed Remus's brow. "Then I would have to put you down. Tasting human blood will turn you mad. Do you really want to end up like Fenrir?"

Remus clicked his fangs together. "Alright then. Let's feed Peter to Fenrir."

"Now you're thinking straight," Sirius pressed a finger over Remus's lips to stop his clicking.

After a moment, Remus patted Sirius on the chest. "Not THAT straight."

Sirius laughed, pulling Remus partly onto his own body. They lay against the wall, letting the steamy water swirl as they fell into a lucid doze. They stayed like that in silence for nearly an hour. There were more than twelve years to make up for. Every moment alone together was precious. Remus could feel a soft warmth coming from Sirius. Their link was opening. He felt Sirius relax. He felt the innocence &amp; the hurt.

He felt that dark spot still there. What the hell was Sirius hiding? Or perhaps the link wasn't fully recovered yet. He closed his eyes &amp; lay against Sirius, waiting for that to heal, if ever.

Remus suddenly snapped his eyes open, looking up at the side of Sirius's face. Sirius had just slipped his free hand between the wolf's legs, petting the thin-skinned spots. Half-closing his eyes again, he licked like a puppy at the center of Sirius's chest where Padfoot was now stretching out while Sirius finished him off.

Remus growled softly as the pleasure high passed. Sighing, he put his head on Sirius's chest. "How could I forget so easily?"

"Ah you really like that touch, don't you?" Sirius teased. "Don't worry. I'll make sure you never forget it again."

Remus raised his head once more, trying to avoid looking directly at Sirius. "Not that." He pulled free of Sirius &amp; sat a little away from him. "I know, Pads. I've known since we first mated that summer when the whales came."

"Known what?" Sirius raised a brow.

"You &amp; Jim," Remus stated simply. Sirius didn't move, not even his raised brow. "None of—what was that?" He had felt a shift in the block inside Sirius's mind. It shifted again at his question. "Sirius? Don't. This hiding from each other has got to stop. When I said 'you &amp; Jim' I felt it. Oh Padfoot. None of this ever made sense. You two were together at some point during sixth year, weren't you?"

There was a crack at last. So it was Jim hiding there, not Voldemort. Still, he felt Sirius pull away, as if he had allowed the fact of the affair slip through on purpose but hid the rest. The rest of what?

Remus pressed on. "How &amp; why would you murder him when you've never murdered any of your ex lovers before?" Sirius lowered the brow at last, but did no more as Remus added. "Yet as time went on, I told myself I was wrong. Taught myself to hate you for what you—didn't—do. Told myself I had just imagined that you had ever slept with Jim, since I thought you didn't know what love was or cared."

"How?"

"Jim did that touch to me in the private sauna remember?" Remus said. "Where else would he get it from? Plus, everyone noticed how close the two of you were during sixth year. Before we first mated, most of us chalked it up to the fact you &amp; Jim were family &amp; knew each other the longest. But after, I've known ever since. You do it to me often enough &amp; it's pretty much what Jim did."

"Yes," Sirius said simply. "We had an affair. It lasted nearly a year."

"A...year?" Remus stared at him. The crack opened slightly wider than before &amp; then closed again. The block was smaller, but there was still some left. "I was thinking one night stand or something."

"It went on through most of our sixth term," Sirius said.

"Wow," Remus gasped under breath. He turned away &amp; put a hand on the edge of the bath. "That...that's—a whole year."

"I can explain," Sirius stood up &amp; slowly crossed the water towards him. At the same time he mentally kicked himself. Just exactly how was he to explain anything? The block suddenly became cold &amp; threatening towards Remus. Sirius tried to keep Remus away from it as much as possible.

"You don't have to," Remus shook his head. He mentally pulled away, allowing Sirius some room.

"You're upset..."

"Yes but not at what you think."

"Remus," Sirius stood close to him. "Let me fix this. Please."

"You already did, didn't you?" Remus finally looked at him. "I understand perfectly what happened." He paused, collecting his thoughts. Sirius wanted to say that there was no way Remus could understand without knowing, but didn't dare tell him what truly happened. "I know Jim was raped." Remus suddenly blurted out.

"What?" Sirius stumbled backwards. "No. No that..." He reached the far wall of the bath, turned away &amp; leaned on the edge.

The block shattered at last &amp; was nearly gone. So that was it. Remus slowly moved in. "I'm sorry," he reached out to put a hand on Sirius's shoulder.

"Don't!" Sirius jerked away. He pressed both hands over his heart, feeling anew the pain of old wounds. "Who told you? Lily?"

Remus gasped. "Dear Merlin, did Lily know?"

Sirius nodded. "They had a huge fight right here in this washroom over Jim using this bath without permission. It ended with James yelling that at her without thinking. Shut her up in a hurry."

"Oh poor girl," Remus said softly. "I didn't know she found out."

"So how do you know then?"

"Please, I could smell it the moment I came on the train," Remus sighed. "Didn't know who at first but by the end of the year, I'm guessing it was Orion?"

Sirius now had both hands over his mouth, staring in shock. Well of course Remus could probably smell it. How stupid could he be, forgetting what Remus was? "Then why the bloody hell did you attack us when we came back from Charlus's funeral? You said Moony demands to know. If you already knew, why fight us?"

"We knew yes," Remus began. "But Moony was becoming agitated that one of his pack wasn't confiding in him. Moony was Alpha &amp; wanted all control. I know that sounds just like Orion; though, that type of force was never intended of course. It's why I tried so hard to keep Moony quiet. You were wise to take over for a bit."

"You were never supposed to find out. No one was ever supposed to know!"

"I tried to get Jim to talk on more than one occasion," said Remus. "I wanted to help him somehow, but I guess you already did that. I mean, after all he's not the first one you helped. No wonder you were with him for a while."

Sirius stared into the depths of the pool, watching the whorls of suds go around. He suddenly half-smiled. "Remember the door was locked in the sauna? It...it wasn't an accident." Remus flicked up his brow. "We had just finished something. A moment earlier &amp;—well at least that didn't happen."

"I see," Remus said. He started laughing. "I'm such an idiot. If I had known that, I wouldn't have made some moves on him. But I couldn't smell anything outside of the chlorine or else I'd have caught the higher levels of hormones."

"Yeah why did you make a move on him anyway?"

"I had tried several times to reach out to James," Remus explained. "I had actually thought you were alone in that sauna. So when I noticed Jim, I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable with other guys around. So long as he followed certain rules as I preferred to marry you, not him; but I just wanted him to keep calm &amp; not worry about it. But I guess you already had that covered."

"Yeah," Sirius smiled weakly. An option number four that James had never once considered.

"So what ended it?"

"It ended the day of the," Sirius burst out laughing. "The Koi fish propo—oh Merlin! What an idiot!" Sirius took a moment to compose himself.

"So Jim was dating you &amp; Lily at the same time? No wonder he didn't mind a three-some in the sauna," Remus managed a weak laugh.

"No, Lily never knew," Sirius said. "At least not to my knowledge. Lily didn't like Jim at first &amp; you &amp; I were still at odds with each other. But it was before you."

"I know," Remus said. "I'd be dead if it wasn't. Betraying a wolf's bond is death to the wolf."

"Besides, at the same time, I needed to know if I could even be with one person for a long time," Sirius went on.

"There's no need to explain anything more," Remus put up a hand. "I'm not jealous. I'm amazed it lasted that long. With Savona, it only went on for a couple of months, but really, I think you &amp; Jim made a rather cute couple." He laughed softly before adding, "So, I guess that's why Harry didn't want me reading that diary. It seems to be about sixth year, probably wh—oh great! Harry would know about Ori—oh Sirius, what are we going to do with him?"

Sirius shook his head. "What's done is done. I don't think there's anything we can do." He moved forward into the deeper water &amp; put his hands on Remus's shoulders. "Don't ever doubt that I don't love you. Again I mean. But I won't deny that a part of my heart is dead in that grave. I only ever loved twice. Jim's the second one."

"First, he was before me."

"I loved you since the start of our fourth term," Sirius said. "Jim is my second." After a moment of silence he added, "There will be no others. I know it. I've felt the power of love twice &amp; was burned at both ends twice. If you die before me there will be no one else."

"No wonder the Dementors don't really affect you," Remus pulled Sirius tightly to him. "No wonder." Sirius cried softly into his shoulder for several minutes. "I will die before you," Remus whispered in his ear. "We both know that."

"Only if we don't find a cure," Sirius said quickly.

Remus actually laughed. He gazed for a long moment into those pale grey eyes he had missed so much. Hated so much. Then he remembered something. "So, you haven't been completely honest with me. You are a murderer, aren't you? Or at least an accomplice to."

"What do you mean?"

Remus sighed heavily. "Orion disappeared." Sirius pulled away from him. "Don't worry, I'm not turning you in for that."

"I never killed anyone."

"I know," Remus tried to soothe him. "Jim did him in, didn't he? It's understandable. I'd be furious myself if that was done to me. I'd probably do the same thing."

Sirius got out of the water &amp; headed for the door. "Too much. I can't deal with this right now Moony."

Remus watched him go before snatching his wand &amp; casting a stronger block on the door. "Sirius, I get it."

"Open the door."

"No," Remus got out as well. "You have a responsibility to keep your wet little arse out of Azkaban &amp; make sure the only dark creature kissing you is me. Also, you're naked. People are terrified of you enough. They don't need that on top of it all." Sirius turned to scowl but Remus was actually smirking at him.

"Remus," Sirius began. "I don't ever want to talk about Orion. After what he did. I don't—Remus I saw it happen!"

"You ... saw—Sirius!"

"I was held down by Elven power! I couldn't move!" Sirius suddenly exclaimed. "That man made me witness Jim's crucifixion to! He touched Jim again then, literally nailed him!"

"Padfoot!" In one bound, Remus cleared the distance between them &amp; held Sirius close as they both broke down for several minutes. Crack by crack, what little of the block that was left was collapsing. There was only a small core left but Remus decided it was enough for now. "Not twice! Tell me you didn't say that!"

"Jim told me it wasn't as bad as the first time," Sirius said. "But it didn't make things any better. I think he was deluding himself so he wouldn't have to face it."

"Charlus found out to, right?" Remus went on. "It's why he put Orion in the hospital." He felt Sirius nod against his cheek &amp; held him tighter.

"I hate him!" Sirius gasped between sobs, hitting Remus at last with all the mental torture he had been hiding for years. Remus wavered, held up only by Sirius hanging onto him. "I hate him so much! I don't ever want to speak of him."

"Sh, I'm sorry!" Remus petted Sirius's hair. "I'm glad he's dead." Once he finally managed to calm Sirius down, Remus got dressed &amp; made Sirius switch to Padfoot. "Come with me. I have something of yours you might want back." He opened the door &amp; led the Grim through their old ways back to his personal quarters. "First, try this on." He handed over a second set of robes. "I'm a bit taller than you now but it should fit."

"Yeah I noticed!" Sirius exclaimed. "You used to be the smallest." He got dressed &amp; then as Padfoot he went to lie down on the hearth while Remus dug around in his trunk once more. He pulled out a long thin box. He held it out to the Grim.

Sirius transformed &amp; took the box. "What's th..." His voice died in his throat. Sirius held up his wand. His same old wand from before Azkaban. Sirius gaped at it.

"I was on the force that cleaned up the mess," Remus explained. "I found that thing under a rock &amp; stole it. Back then, I planned to kill you with your own wand. Ultimate betrayal. With Harry around though, I didn't waste time going to get it &amp; so was using my own when I rode off after you. But...well, you know. It...it doesn't matter any more." He turned away to put his trunk back in order.

"You idiot!"

"What?" Remus turned back to Sirius. He was in the process of laughing but the venomous glare from his mate wiped the grin off his face.

"You've had this the ENTIRE time?"

"Yeah," Remus shrugged. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Sirius scorned. "I'll show you what's wrong!" He held out his hand. "Your wand please." Remus silently handed it over, slightly confused. "The last spell should be Bombardia Maxima if I was the traitor. That's what blew up the street. You NEVER used this wand?" Remus shook his head. "Priori Incantatium!" Remus's jaw dropped in horror &amp; he clapped both hands to his mouth.

_...Levicorpsus..._ The voice of Sirius rang out the last spell used.

"That was on Prongs! Damndest funniest thing I ever saw. A Stag dangling in the sky."

"Padfoot!"

"Say nothing!" Sirius threw Remus's wand at his feet. "What's done is done. You. Of all people! Forget something like that. You had proof of my innocence all these years. I hoped &amp; hoped someone would check my wand before snapping it. After a few years I thought surely it was snapped without checking. But no no no! It had to be you fucking me over &amp; not pleasantly either. Ultimate betrayal indeed!"

Remus was now curled up on the floor, keening hysterically. How could he forget? His entire pack slaughtered within a day. His mother died a few weeks later. His mate was gone. But none of them was a good excuse. He forgot! That was it. Remus looked up as he heard a door click. Sirius had left the room. Remus didn't dare go after him. He deserved to be abandoned.

After nearly an hour of crying on the floor, Sirius still hadn't returned &amp; Remus was starting to worry. Surely, Sirius would stay hidden for his own safety even if everything was screwed up between them. Again! Remus slowly got to his feet &amp; started out after Sirius. He checked the Map &amp; wandered around the castle but Sirius was not to be found. Knowing he shouldn't be caught looking for Sirius now that he was trying to hide him, Remus returned to his quarters. He lay on the bed with no plans to sleep, fretting over the Dementors getting to Sirius. The night was spent in tears.

Remus suddenly jerked from a doze. He knew he was only out a few minutes. His pillow was still wet &amp; he still felt tears in his eyes. Remus sat up slowly, feeling that he wasn't alone. The torches flared to life &amp; there sat Sirius on the armchair, glaring at him. Remus jumped off the bed but stayed still, not sure if Sirius wanted him or not. He tried to apologize, useless as it was, but he had no voice.

Sirius saw Remus form the words. He sighed heavily. "It wouldn't be us without some stupid crap going on."

"Don't joke!" Remus gasped in a hoarse whisper. "Not now!"

Sirius rubbed the back of his neck. "But it's true." He stood up &amp; went to stand in front of Remus. He took the wolf's hands. "I'll consider it payback for the OWL prank."

"Siri," Remus let out a breath, shaking his head. "No."

"Let's just not talk about either incident ever again," Sirius shushed him with a kiss. Remus latched onto Sirius as if he were a lifeline &amp; was soon crying freely again. "Or ...or what happened to Jim." Sirius added as he held Remus close for several minutes until he calmed down. He released the wolf &amp; got into the bed. "Come here," he patted the place beside him. Once Remus was settled in, Sirius said, "But from now on, can we please stop hurting each other?"

Remus passed a hand through Sirius's hair. "No more." They lay in silence for a while. "Where did you go?" Remus went on suddenly. "I looked for you everywhere with the Map."

"In the special room that doesn't show up on the Map."

Remus huffed softly so only he heard it, then slowly but surely entwined himself around Sirius. They slept into the morning, skipping breakfast. But when Remus woke up at last, Sirius was gone.

* * *

_(AN: Yeah I know how stupid it is with Sirius getting his wand back. Remus isn't that dumb. Oh well. Blame Rowling for this! Deliver her to Pharaoh! (The 10 Commandments movie by the way :P ) She never gave us an explanation on how Sirius suddenly had his wand back &amp; this was the quickest way I could come up with. Also it does sort of suit the pattern of Sirius/Remus never getting things right between them._

_Anyway, I sort of ripped off the Lion King. Lol)_


	35. Chapter 35

**(35) The Unlikely Reunion**

Harry didn't know what to do with Hermione &amp; Ron. He knew now that the rat was most certainly not dead. The problem was, he was now being party to hiding Sirius Black in the castle so he couldn't say anything. Worse, he was helping them find Peter. Sirius would most likely kill the rat on sight. After all it was his orders. Harry had no idea what to tell them, especially Ron. Remus had put a secrecy charm on himself, Harry &amp; Sirius so none of them could even talk about something remotely involved with hiding Sirius under everyone's noses.

Harry caught Padfoot more than once sleeping under his bed in the Gryffindor dorms. Neither he or Remus were happy about it as having a Grim lurking about might raise even more fears, especially one that lived under Harry's bed. Sirius used the excuse that he was waiting for Peter to dare come near Harry &amp; though the boy-who-lived bought it, both Sirius &amp; Remus knew the real cause. Sirius was taking time to forgive Remus for his wand.

Meanwhile, Harry spent what free time he had locked away in some forgotten part of the castle with Remus &amp; occasionally Sirius, pouring over the Map looking for Peter; though, he did sneak off with it for the next Hogsmeade weekend with Ron. Unfortunately he got caught sort of but Lupin got him out of it after which they along with Sirius had a right royal laugh at Snape's expense.

Harry's victory was short-lived however as Hermione suddenly appeared with a note from Hagrid. He had lost the case with Buckbeak &amp; was probably going to lose his favorite hippogriff.

The Easter holidays came with huge amounts of homework that drove everyone, even Hermione, insane. Harry hardly ever had a chance to look at the Map with either Sirius or Remus. He knew Scab—or rather, Wormtail was probably avoiding Ron for several reasons, one of which would be the fact that his true name, Peter Pettigrew, would show up on the Map &amp; with not only Harry but now also two Marauders searching for him, he had to hide.

It was during the holidays that Sirius slowly returned to Remus's side whenever possible. On the final evening which was also supposed to be a spare Patronus lesson for Harry, Remus opened the classroom doors to find a giant chocolate rabbit sitting on his desk. It was about three feet high &amp; mottled in color from various types of chocolate being poured into the mould that made it. The bunny was sitting up &amp; between its front paws was a basket that was also chocolate &amp; part of the statue. In the basket were several smaller chocolates filling it to the brim. The rabbit was solid.

Remus gaped at it for awhile as Harry spotted the Grim stretched out at the base of the stairs leading to the office. Harry wasn't sure whether to smile in an aww-that's-so-'sweet' way or glare in an are-you-kidding-me-he's-spoiled-rotten-already way. "I'm going to take a year to gnaw through this," Remus mumbled in a muffled voice. He had his jaws around the ears &amp; the grating fangs slipped on the chocolate, slowly shaving off pieces.

Harry could see a few drops of black venom roll down the half white ear. Remus was marking the thing &amp; obviously wasn't sharing ...which suited Harry just fine, being about as fed up with chocolate as he was with the marauders' way of implied innuendo in the simplest of things. (In fact, Harry was beginning to wonder if Remus wasn't deep throating those ears.) He turned on his heel &amp; left, leaving the pair alone.

Remus finally broke the ears off &amp; began chewing on the tips as he cautiously moved towards Sirius who had transformed back &amp; was now sitting on the last stair, leaning back &amp; watching him. Remus dared not speak. He wondered if things would ever be right between them.

"I spent most of my time away," Sirius began as Remus stopped just before him. "I went into France."

Remus dropped the ears. "That far?"

"I did a search into your life in 1981, after Halloween," Sirius picked up the ears &amp; handed them back. "You sure went through a lot."

"That was very reckless of you," Remus said. "What if you got caught?"

Sirius pulled out a vial from his pocket. "It's finished now but I was just some long-lost girlfriend looking for you. Thought the theme would fit."

"When on Earth did you have time to make this?"

"The night you gave my wand back," Sirius shrugged. "I went into that invisible room remember? I started a Polyjuice brew then. Robbed Snivelus blind to."

Remus smiled for a moment in spite of himself, then asked, "Why did you look me up?"

"I wanted to know how you could forget something so simple as a spell check," Sirius explained. "You lost your mother due to a bad illness about a week after it happened. I know you were close to her. Then you &amp; your father took off."

"We went traveling," admitted Remus. "Your wand was left in the attic in France for years, collecting dust. When we finally returned &amp; I saw it again, I almost destroyed it. It was then I planned to kill you with it someday. But I could never get up the nerve to go to Azkaban to face you. I came close once. But I never went up the stairs. I just ran back to the boat &amp; went home." He sighed before adding, "How I hated you."

Sirius stood up &amp; took Remus's free hand (the other was still holding chocolate rabbit ears). "I hate this whole mess between us."

"Will we ever get things right Padfoot?" Remus asked.

"Some relationships take a lot more work," Sirius answered. "I've never stopped loving you. It may have gone cold &amp; dormant at times but it's always there. I just wish we could trust each other more."

Remus looked down at their clasped hands. "Was this a mistake?" He said softly. The wolf within panicked &amp; slammed Remus with a migraine so bad it made him tear up. "Is that what you're saying? This was a mistake?"

"Easy Remus," Sirius held the werewolf in his arms &amp; helped him down on the steps, then sat beside him. He wiped away the tears. "Whoa, you turned white as ghost there." Remus just stared at the wall. Sirius sighed &amp; put one arm across Remus's shoulders. "No, I like being with you just fine. But we need to sort out our trust issues."

"We seem to strike each other blow for blow," Remus admitted. "Ever since that damn OWL year."

"That's where the problem is," Sirius said. "I drew first blood. It messed with the Alpha rank you once held." He paused a moment. "But you're no longer the Alpha."

"Ohh pups!" Remus huffed.

"We need to work with each other," Sirius went on after a laugh. "Let's focus on one thing at a time, starting with getting Peter."

"He is definitely a priority," Remus agreed. He shaved off some more from the ears before going on. "We never had a completely open link. I could always feel a darkness in you, a place I could never understand. As time went on, I was sure it was Voldemort. Now I realise, it was Jim &amp; what had happened to him."

Sirius was quiet a long time before saying slowly, "I never even thought about that. Jim never wanted anyone to know. He hated that I knew. I think in a way ...I was lucky to see it happen. He hated that I saw it." He fell silent a moment before adding, "Yeah, I can see how covering James could be my downfall with you."

Remus leaned against Sirius at last. "The irony of it all is that I had known about it anyway. I wish I had told him now."

"It's why our first full moon back together was so bad," said Sirius. "During the summer, I had planned out a whole speech for you so we could have a good long talk before that moon. Prepare each other. Moony would have been more accepting if we did."

They sat together in silence for several minutes. Remus felt Sirius had more to say but needed time to think. That good long talk was long over-due. He finished the ears as he waited. Sirius got up &amp; pulled Remus along. They went to the loveseat bench by one wall. It had two large cushions. Sirius sat down &amp; pulled Remus next to him. "My back was killing me on the stairs." He put his head against Remus's shoulder. "When Snape &amp; I had that big fight over you in our OWLs, he said stuff about you."

"I know," Remus sighed heavily. "You told me. He was trying to make you mad &amp; it worked, especially since you were out of it &amp; drunk on that firewhiskey you &amp; James had stolen earlier."

Sirius sat up straight &amp; stared at the earless bunny. "Yeah, I wasn't drunk." Remus stared at him. "I lied. I didn't want to talk about it."

"About what?"

Sirius closed his eyes. "He mentioned Orion."

Remus ran a hand through his hair as things started to make sense. "That's why you didn't talk to me when we got back to school then? Since that was when ..."

"When Orion attacked Jim the first time," Sirius finished. "Snape had hinted about Orion knowing what you were &amp; wanted to know more, if it was true. He also somehow found out I was in love with you. You're not pure &amp; a werewolf as well. The epitome of everything my family hates. He reminded me of that. Threatened to tell Orion. The fact that you're impure blood would have driven Orion even more insane. He'd have killed you just for that to keep you away from me. I had to protect you. I sent Snape away not thinking straight. Then I realised what I did &amp; asked Jim for help &amp; then everything went to hell in a heartbeat. I had planned out my speech for when we started 6th grade. I wanted to tell you what really happened. But then Jim got hurt &amp; the last thing I wanted to talk about was Orion. Even now, it's hard. So I lied &amp; said I was drunk. Kept it simple. Almost got me killed that first full moon back."

Remus put a hand on Sirius's face. "Everything goes back to Orion. Because of him, you kept something hidden from me &amp; I misjudged it. We let mistrust take over. He nearly ruined everything."

"Nearly?" Sirius scoffed.

"You said that it was our downfall," Remus said. "But do you know what you do when you fall? You get up again. We're still here. Still alive. Still together. We won't let Orion or anyone else rip us apart again."

A silence fell over them, but it was a comfortable one. They half lay curled up next to each other, finally seeing each other properly as things started to make sense between them. Sirius stretched out &amp; lay his head over the edge of the couch's back, staring at the ceiling. Remus shifted a bit to lay his head against Sirius's chest. Sirius began petting the wolf's hair. He started singing softly under breath, "At times I want to break you &amp; drag you to your knees."

"Hmm," Remus sat up quickly, suppressing a smile.

Sirius put a hand on Remus's face. "At times I'd like to break through &amp; hold you endlessly." He leaned in, kissing Remus softly on the lips.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Oh Merlin, that song describes us all to well."

"Yeah," Sirius smiled . "It sure does."

Remus moved closer &amp; murmured, "Although I'm the one who liked to do the breaking &amp; dragging. I was your Dominatrix after all."

Sirius burst out laughing. "Good point!" He took up Remus's hands into his own. "That was definitely an honest touch."

Remus looked at their hands for a moment. "Will we ever have that kind of trust again?"

Using the tips of his fingers, Sirius began stroking Remus's hands, tracing a few faint scars. "Maybe. Someday. One thing at a time."

They sat in silence for a long while, staring down at each other's hands clasped between them. Remus felt Moony slowly settle, satisfied that his mate was not planning to leave. Remus felt himself shaking from the scare. He held Sirius's hands up. They shared a look, then Remus softly uttered, "I've missed you." Sirius let a few tears fall as Remus went on in a stronger voice. "Right now, all I want is to destroy every last Dementor. Make it safe for you. Padfoot, I'm so scared for you. If you get caught, yo..." he stopped before his voice broke.

Sirius put a hand on Remus's face. "There is only one Dark creature who will ever kiss me &amp; he's sitting right here beside me, right now."

"Sirius," Remus covered Sirius's hand on his face with his own. "You're out of time! You're not going back to Azkaban. They're to give you their kiss on sight. No trial. No return to prison. Nothing. You're finished if they see you!"

"That won't happen," said Sirius. "I have you."

"Oh," Remus choked for breath, his voice cracked as he went on. "I've—I have been nothing but a failure to you!"

"I've failed you plenty." Sirius leaned in to kiss Remus but paused. "Ray," He gasped softly under breath. "What do you say then? Shall we try this again?"

Remus tried not to roll his eyes. Being a wolf, he had no choice in the matter. But he knew what he would have chosen if it was possible. The block on their link was all but dismantled. There was a tiny spot left, but Remus left it alone. He knew the main story now. He also had an idea of what was still hidden &amp; it felt like it was subconscious for Sirius as well. Sirius didn't realise it was there. But Remus left it alone. Sirius had once said a piece of his heart was dead in the grave. That small block was safe &amp; not for Remus to touch. But Remus was at last ok with it. "Let's get it right this time."

"Alright, you can start by handing out my sentence yourself," Sirius smiled softly, still lingering close to Remus. "Are you ever going to kiss me, you crazy Dark creature or am I supposed to sit in fear of it for the rest of my life?"

Remus had to laugh at the irony of it. "In that case, your soul is forever mine!" He leaned in, meeting Sirius's waiting lips with his own. He pushed Sirius back with the force &amp; lay on top of him. Remus demanded more entry with his tongue as Sirius wrapped both arms around him, pulling them harder together. Sirius suddenly went stiff under him as Remus ground his hips down in a dominant stance; though, it had other more pleasant side effects as well. It barely lasted more than a minute or two &amp; both suddenly gasped for air.

"Well now," Sirius panted. "If that's what the Kiss is like, I want to do it as often as possible."

"No complaints here," Remus licked one side of his chops &amp; gazed down with a slightly gold color.

"So ...Professor," Sirius petted back Remus's bangs as the wolf hissed. "Shut it you. Let Remus back out." He waited until the eyes were fully green. "Tell me about Harry. You're spending a lot of time with him now."

Remus stood up. "Let's go someplace safer first."

Sirius glanced out the dark window. In a flash of lightening, he could see several Dementors floating in the distance. "Yeah. That's a very good idea!"

Harry soon had another problem besides Buckbeak that kept him away from Sirius &amp; Remus outside of class. The Quidditch Finale was upon him sooner than he realised. The match was the wildest nerve-wracking one he had ever played. The illegal tactics were numerous &amp; the results often bloody. But Gryffindor won. Barely but they won! Oliver Wood was on cloud nine.

Now the exams had started &amp; everyone spent most of their time revising. Harry was able to get tips not even Hermione knew whenever he spent time with Sirius. One evening he had brought some homework along while the Wolfstar team poured over the Map for the umpteenth time at the teacher's desk with Remus in his usual chair &amp; Sirius across from him. Remus had put a block on the door while Harry tried to read his Charms book &amp; finish an essay for History Of Magic.

"Add in the fact that there were three Poltergeists in that fight," Sirius said.

"Two, one was a Boggart," Remus muttered absent-mindedly. "I never had our Map fail us before."

"We're just not finished," Sirius stared at the thing upside-down for him. "It is quite big. Maybe we should try over here." He passed his hand down to his left side towards one corner.

"Mm," Remus disapproved. "Too far south. Try more ...north."

Harry stopped reading his Charms book as Sirius asked, "How far north?"

"Mmm," Remus thought a moment. "True north."

Harry knew what true north meant. He knew EXACTLY what true north meant thanks to Passion Year. His eyes snapped up only to end up seeing something he forever wished to unsee. Remus suddenly grunted &amp; lurched in his seat, looking anywhere but at Sirius while he tried to hide a smile. Harry put his book aside &amp; glanced under the table. Sure enough, Sirius had his foot jammed up between Remus's legs, another thing Harry desperately wished he could unsee.

Harry stood up &amp; tugged on the Map. "I'll take this. Don't growl Moony! Mind your Alpha. Clearly you have more important things on your mind." He folded up the Map. Remus hissed. Harry beat him over the head with the Map, then gathered up his things as Sirius chuckled. "I'll have a bit of a look on this. I at least, don't have anyone distracting me." Harry made a quick exit, having enough of romance to last him a lifetime no thanks to his father!

Needless to say, it was a rather flustered werewolf that showed up late for his own class he was presiding over the next day. Padfoot slunk in as the door closed &amp; slipped unseen under a bench by the wall. But the students stared at Remus as he came hurrying down the aisle over fifteen minutes late while they, on the other hand, had been fidgeting at their desks wondering what to expect.

His only explanation was, "Sorry, a couple things came up." This comment had little effect on the class, but Remus suddenly turned away laughing hysterically.

Harry though, understood all to well. Shaking his head he groaned. "I don't want to be in this class any more." Hermione stared at him in confusion. (So did Draco for that matter, thinking it was unusual of Harry to say that for any class other than potions.)

Lupin gasped for breath. "Well Harry there's the door. Don't let it," then he purred. "Hit your arse on the way out." He started laughing again.

Harry rolled his eyes. "That's 'Si—Si," He ended up laughing when he realised too late what he was saying. "'Siriusly' wrong, Sir." That put both of them in tears while everyone else could only look on in bewilderment.

Focused too intently on the antics between their Professor &amp; their resident celebrity, few if any of the students noticed the large black dog pull itself out from under the farthest bench that was near the door behind them, nose it open &amp; leave. He was done. He was so done. That was it. He was out of here. Harry &amp; Remus only laughed harder.

"What's going on?" Hermione asked Harry.

"If you don't know," Harry answered through gasps of air. "I won't tell you. Isn't that what you once told me?" He wished he didn't have to bring it up, but it was all he could think of to get off any topic related to Sirius Black at the moment. Hermione glared, then stuck her nose in her book.

Harry avoided Sirius &amp; Remus for the next few days while he went through the exams (though Remus insisted on having the Map back so Harry could focus on his lessons, or so Remus said). Everything was going fine until Professor Trelawney suddenly went stranger than usual, almost as if she had made an actual prediction for once.

Harry fled the scene to tell Ron &amp; Hermione, only to have the Divination Professor driven from his mind. Hagrid had lost the appeal &amp; it seemed that Buckbeak was destined to die no matter what anyone did. Hermione finally was on their side &amp; she helped Harry sneak away so they could visit Hagrid by sunset. From that moment on (though he didn't know it yet), Harry's life was forever changed.

Scabbers was at Hagrid's! Harry froze. Neither Sirius or Remus were with him. Act normal. Pretend it's just a pet. He had to find some way of getting either of the Marauders down here without worrying Peter.

"I think you owe someone an apology!"

"Right, when I see Crookshanks again, I'll let him know!"

"I MEANT ME!"

Harry rolled his eyes, giving up on them. He stood up, anxious to get to the castle, when a rock hit his head. "Ow!" He whirled around &amp; looked out the window. He saw Dumbledore leading a group down to the hut. "Come on. We should go."

Hagrid let them out the back door a moment before he let Dumbledore, Fudge &amp; Macnair in his front one. "Let's go quick!" Hermione urged. "I can't stand it."

Ron suddenly ran pell mell away from the other two after his rat. "SCABBERS! GET BACK HERE!" He pounced on the frantic creature &amp; caught him again. He clutched the rat so tightly that his eyes bulged. Harry secretly hoped that Ron would clutch a bit more &amp; accidently break the neck. Ron suddenly pointed to something behind them. "HARRY HERMIONE! RUN IT'S THE GRIM!"

Terrified Hermione glanced around, but Harry felt a wave of relief. It was only Sirius after all. The Grim ploughed through the pair (much to Harry's annoyance) &amp; launched himself at Ron, only to end up dragging him down the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack. Silently cursing Sirius for poor aim, Harry led Hermione after them.

"Where do you think this goes?" Hermione asked as they crawled along.

"Shrieking Shack," Harry said without thinking. "I mean, I'm pretty sure. It's one of the passage-ways on the Map."

"You're still using that thing?"

"So?" Harry shrugged. "Look Hermione, there is something you need to know. Things are going to get strange when we get up there. I can't tell you right now but...let's just say it isn't what you think."

"That made no sense," Hermione complained as they entered the Shack &amp; climbed up the stairs.

"It will in a few moments," Harry entered the room &amp; headed straight for Ron on the bed.

"It's a trap! He's the dog! He's an Animagus!" Ron was pointing but Harry had eyes only for the rat.

"Sirius! How stupid are you? Ron's bleeding all over the bed!"

"HARRY IT IS BLACK!"

"Tell me something I don't know," Harry still didn't bother to look.

"Sorry, I was aiming for the rat." Sirius stepped forward.

Harry finally swivelled around to glare at him. "You were?" He complained sardonically. "You have horrible aim." Sirius just shrugged.

Hermione stared at Harry. "Must be cursed." She raised her wand at Sirius.

"If you want to kill Harry, you'll have to kill us to!" Ron shot at him.

"No only one dies tonight!"

"Expelliarmus!" Remus suddenly appeared. Hermione's wand went flying. "Where is he Sirius?"

"There," Sirius pointed at the rat in Ron's hands.

Remus locked eyes with Wormtail. "I was beginning to wonder if this day would ever come."

"Let's kill him."

"Yes," Remus agreed as Harry stepped aside. "Let's."

"NO!" Hermione shrieked. "I trusted you &amp; all this time, you've been his friend!" She turned to the boys. "He's a werewolf! That's why he's been missing classes."

"Known that since before Christmas," Harry muttered.

Hermione stared at him before repeating, "He's his friend."

"Try husband," Harry said evenly, almost bored.

Hermione's jaw landed on the floor while Ron mouthed the word. Hermione gasped under breath, "They're together?"

"Umm, a couple things," Harry made air quotes. "Came up. Hello!"

Hermione stared at Harry, then suddenly clued in at last. "Oh. OH! Oh my G—OH! OH!" She put both hands on her face &amp; turned away as Harry &amp; Remus sobbed with laughter once more.

"No wonder he helped Black into the castle then," Ron muttered uncomfortably.

"No," Harry said, wiping away tears. "That would be me." He then looked at Remus, ignoring Hermione's spluttering. "Is the charm raised yet?" Remus nodded. At that, Harry launched into an explanation of what Scabbers really was, with help from both Sirius &amp; Remus. None of them mentioned Passion Year. Harry said only that he had found a note left by his father somewhere in the castle, thanks to the Map.

"I'd like to see that note!" Hermione demanded.

"Sorry, lost by now," Harry said vaguely, turning to the Wolfstar team. "How did either of you get here?"

"Lost it? LOST IT!" Hermione shrieked. "How convenient!"

"Hermione please drop it!" Harry shot back at her.

"I had a feeling you three would sneak out to Hagrid's," Remus began in a loud voice to stop them from hexing each other. "So I stuck Sirius on you to keep an eye out just in case Peter showed up. Good thing to. I saw him drag Ron &amp; Peter down here on that Map."

"You have the Map?" Ron glared.

"He's Moony," Harry said. "Dad was Prongs. That's Padfoot &amp; that," Harry pointed to each in turn. "is Wormtail. Ron? Give us that rat!"

"You're crazy!" Ron glared first at Remus, then Sirius. "One of you must have put Harry under a curse."

"There's a simple charm to prove who or what that rat is Ron," Remus said, holding out his hand. "If he is just a rat, he won't be har—"

"Expelliarmus!" Snape suddenly appeared &amp; Remus's wand went flying. In a flash, he had his wand jammed at Sirius's throat. As they argued, Remus slowly inched sideways to retrieve his wand.

"Why don't you run along &amp; play with your chemistry set?" Sirius snapped.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Sirius be quiet!"

"BE QUIET YOURSELF, REMUS!" Sirius huffed. It may have been twelve years, but there was nothing like a good Snape-bashing.

"You two, quarrelling like an old married couple."

"Oh you have no idea," Harry aimed his wand at Snape who went thudding into the wall &amp; didn't get up again. "Now, where were we?"

"HARRY!" Hermione gasped.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?!" Ron stared horrified at Snape's limp body.

"YOU ATTACKED A TEACHER!" Hermione looked at Harry as if he was someone she never met or wished to meet.

Harry just shrugged. "Will you two relax?"

Sirius came close to Ron's bed. He didn't look much like his Azkaban photo any more. No longer in stripes &amp; with shorter hair &amp; a good wash, he seemed to be slowly recovering. Ron glared at him. "I really need that rat."

"You tried to kill me in the dorms."

"If I wanted any of you dead, you'd be dead by now," Sirius sighed heavily. "You weren't my target Ron. He is." Sirius indicated the rat. "Your pet; so I went to your bed, but he was gone &amp; you kind of scared me by the way. You scream like a girl."

It was all Harry could do to keep his face straight. "He's right," Harry turned away, failing to hide his laughter.

"Believe me," Sirius went on. "I should know. I made lots of girls scream when I was a student here."

Ron gaped at him while Remus scolded harshly, "Sirius!"

"He's talking about having a lot of girlfriends," Harry looked at Ron, trying to calm him. "Not killing."

"Oh yes I was quite the lady-killer back in the day," Sirius mused.

Harry laughed mirthlessly. "Not helping your case Sirius."

"Oy vey," Remus rubbed his brow, while muttering in French. Then he rounded on Sirius. "Pads, insulting or scaring the poor lad isn't going to make him give up his pet any sooner," he finally said, having better luck keeping his face straight.

Ron glared furiously, trying to hold Scabbers away. "Scabbers has been in my family for—"

"Twelve years?" Sirius seethed. "Curiously long life for a common garden rat! He's missing a toe isn't he?"

"So?"

"All they could find of Peter was his—" Harry began.

"—finger!" Sirius cut in. "The dirty coward cut it off to make everyone think he was dead. Then he transformed into a rat."

"Come on Ron!" Harry snapped at last. "The three of us have been hunting that guy for a couple of months now. Give it to him Ron! Please!"

But Ron was out of time. Sirius had at last managed to wrench the squealing rat from Ron's hands &amp; the next instant, Peter Pettigrew was indeed standing in front of them. Ron stared at him. Hermione stepped away into the nearest wall.

Peter glanced around nervously. "What are you...how...?"

"Well hello Peter," said Remus pleasantly. "Sirius &amp; I were just having a little chat about you. How you managed to stay alive while single-handedly destroying the entire pack."

"Don't know...what you're talking about..."

"Oh no?" Remus raised a brow. "We all know you tend to follow the toughest crowd."

"You wait for the biggest bully to win, then side with them," Sirius added.

"You!" Peter squeaked. "You tried to kill me!"

"So I've heard," Remus said. "Several times really."

"You know what they say in Azkaban?" Sirius went on. "They curse you for destroying their lord. If any of them knew you were alive right now."

"I don't kn—"

"But you won't be alive for long," Remus cut across Peter.

Peter stared blankly at him, then Harry, for a moment. "You look like your father—"

"HOW DARE YOU TALK TO HARRY?!" Sirius launched himself between Harry &amp; Peter. "HOW DARE YOU FACE HIM? HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT JAMES IN FRONT OF HIM?"

"I don't under—"

"You sold James &amp; Lily to Voldemort!"

"What are you talking about? I didn—"

"You should have known that if Voldemort didn't kill you we would! Together!"

They raised their wands against Peter. Hermione turned away to the wall. Harry was in the process of running forward yet not really knowing why, but then everything was forgotten as yet another man entered the room.

"STOP!" the man cried out, positioning himself between Peter &amp; the Wolfstar team. "It wasn't him either."

Remus dropped his wand. Ron yelled. Hermione turned back, only to let out a scream. Sirius went to his knees as Harry stared open-mouthed at this second intruder.

"D—Dad?"

* * *

_(AN: Well the obvious first, some lines/scenes taken from book/movie. I cut the conversation down to the basics since they've already had plenty of time to discuss &amp; explain to each other. All that was left was to find &amp; kill Peter. Also anyone who's watched Roswell will recognise a scene or two perhaps._

_The chocolate rabbit actually exists, made by Purdy's Chocolates every Easter (It's a Canadian chocolate shop.) My mother used to get one of those every Easter when she was a child. She said it takes nearly a year to go through it….&amp; she actually shared it. But knowing how Remus gobbles up chocolate, I'm sure he's capable of finishing it all himself within a year. LOL)_


	36. Chapter 36

_Oh yeah by the way, I can not stand that CGI piece of crap we got. That is NOT Moony. I prefer the Twilight werewolves…&amp; I hate Twilight! LOL To me he's a bit like a Husky but with a tufted tail, not a curly one, which is more like how Rowling describes him to begin with._

* * *

**(36) The Midnight Encounter ***

There was a ringing silence as everyone stared at the man. Harry took another step forward. The man looked like James Potter. He sounded similar to the photos. He stood arms spread, keeping Peter, who had gone deathly quiet, behind him. He &amp; Sirius were locked in each other's gaze. Sirius looked not close to tears, but beyond them. Remus was shaking his head. Harry tried to move in closer.

"NO!" Hermione yanked Harry back. "Don't you remember our second year? That person is obviously using Polyjuice Potion!"

Right. Harry's world came crashing down on him again. For one moment, he had hoped—he thought his father was alive. But Polyjuice was really the only explanation. It snapped Remus out of it as well.

"Who are you?" Remus bared his fangs. "How dare you take his form &amp; stand here in front of us! HOW DARE YOU?"

The man finally wrenched his eyes from Sirius. "Very good point Miss. But there is one thing Polyjuice can't do. You can take on the face of your target but never," the man bared his left shoulder. A Stag was simultaneously trying to scratch its ear with a hind hoof &amp; its side with its antlers &amp; looked about ready to fall over for multi-tasking. "The Spirit if you happen to get an Animagus for your ingredient. If I was someone playing James Potter by using Polyjuice, I could never do this." He shifted to Prongs, whistled softly, then shifted back. "Isn't that right you old fleabag?" James smiled sadly for a moment.

"Ohh..." Remus clasped his hands to his chest as if he had been punched in the heart, turned &amp; staggered out to the landing where he crashed to his hands &amp; knees. "No. NO! GOD NO!"

James cast a sorrowful glance at the distressed werewolf, then turned to the man behind him. "Are you ok Peter?"

Peter was shaking his head. "What's going on? What is happening?"

"Oh it's my fault you're like this," James put a hand on Peter's shoulder. "I'm so sorry but I had no choice. I've put so many spells on you many years ago. You don't even remember much do you?" Peter stared blankly at James who went on. "I'm just glad I got here in time. Stay close to me. They won't kill you now." James winced as Sirius shot to his feet.

"YOU!" Sirius snarled. "Twelve years James. TWELVE FUCKING YEARS!"

"Easy!" James pointed at Hermione. "There's a woman present!"

"I DON'T CARE!" Sirius had his fists balled to his sides. "If you've been alive all this time, why did you leave me to rot in Azkaban...FOR TWELVE YEARS?" Remus stumbled back in to put an arm around Sirius, though it looked more like to hold him back then comfort him.

James kept his eyes on Harry; though, he could barely see his son for the tears he was crying. "Until word got out of your escape my poor Grim, I knew nothing of it."

"No...no!" Sirius whimpered, his throat dry.

James plunged on. "I thought you were dead. I was told you were all dead except the famous Harry Potter of course. No way any one could hide that kind of triumph a one year old baby had over Voldemort."

"Look at me," Sirius demanded in a dangerous whisper. "Say that to my face! I dare you!"

James turned away from his son &amp; looked Sirius in the eye. He repeated what he said word for word. "I'm so ...sorry."

"Sorry. SORRY!" Sirius punched the piano so hard, several keys went flying. "You don't get to tell me you're sorry right now."

"Sirius please," James pleaded. "I didn't know! The moment I heard otherwise, I came as soon as I could."

"Not soon enough! You better have a good explanation for what you did to me!" Sirius pointed accusingly at James. "Marauder's code. Betrayal means death."

"I didn't betray you!"

"You never even bothered to find out the truth until now!"

"BECAUSE I COULDN'T!" James shouted. He turned away &amp; noticed Ron on the bed.

Remus took advantage of the moment of silence. "Where...where's Lily then?"

"Oh she's dead alright," James said in a broken voice &amp; Harry could see he was about ready to cry again. "Back in 1981 like everyone says."

Remus took a breath to steady his voice. "When ...when it happened, I was the one called in to identify the bodies. I was the closest family you had at the time, being married to a Black. I saw you," he pointed at James, going on in a whisper. "I saw you lying in the morgue. You were in a steel drawer! I'm the one who closed your eyes. I declared you dead. I saw Lily on the slab beside you! I had nightmares of that ordeal for over a year!" Sirius gasped, staring at Remus. Harry felt weak as he wondered if he could handle any more shocks. Lupin saw them dead in the morgue? Remus glanced at the floor, shaking his head. "There's something horribly wrong here!"

James looked pitifully at Remus. "Oh Ray! They called you? I can't eve...Remus! Thank you for taking care of Lily when I couldn't be there."

"But you were there," Remus kept his eyes on the floor. "I saw you."

"Yeah I can explain that," James said softly. "But lat—"

"Bare your teeth!" Remus suddenly shouted at him.

"What?"

"Bare your teeth right now!"

"I...uh...I...rrrr?" James tried to do his best Remus-Moony impression.

Remus stared long &amp; hard, then shook his head. "No fangs," he muttered.

James stared at him, then burst out laughing. "Oh my God! You thought I was a vampire? Oh Moony!" he doubled up, wheezing. "No. NO! Oh wow! No! I'm quite alive thank you very much." He gasped for air. Remus hissed at him. When he had settled a bit, James added as he stepped slowly towards the wolf. "It's ok Moony. It's ok."

"I'll reserve judgment until we get the whole story," Remus bared his fangs in a low snarl. James stopped his advance. "The last time I blindly believed things, it nearly destroyed my marriage. So I'll wait if you don't mind. I'll wait for you to explain yourself."

"Understandable," James sighed. "We should go to the castle."

"We're not going anywhere until you explain yourself!" Sirius raged at him. "How can you allow Remus to go through something like that without giving an explanation? What is wrong with you?"

"I'm only telling the story once &amp; not only Dumbledore but also Fudge MUST be present or you face the Dementors!" James suddenly turned sharply to him, a look of horrific panic crossed his face. "Sirius! I must stop the Dementors from claiming you! I can't survive that! It nearly killed me to know the truth about you. Not the Dementors! Not for y—!"

CRACK!

"Don't!" Sirius ordered, slapping James so hard across the face that it turned his head &amp; made even Harry wince at the blow. It was so hard that the flesh broke open, being cut by the side of the glasses James was wearing. James stumbled backwards with the blow &amp; only the end of the bed stopped him from falling over. Sirius was shaking with rage. Remus took a firmer grip on him &amp; held him back as Sirius added, "Don't even think about acting like you care about me!"

"I do," James insisted in a whisper, holding his stinging cheek with one gloved hand while leaning on the bed with the other hand. After a moment, he staggered up straight &amp; gingerly pulled the slightly bent wire out of the cut, then slipped his fingers underneath to keep it out. Blood began seeping into the black leather. In a shaking voice, James stammered, "S-Sirius, I know y-you're mad right no-w-w."

"Mad? MAD!" Sirius curled both hands into fists. "There are no words—NO WORDS! I ought to...I..." He raised his fist but could do nothing more as Remus was still holding him &amp; James was just out of reach. "How could you do this to me? Or Remus?"

"Sirius, please. Just one chance to explain. It's all you'll need." James turned back to Ron, rubbing the smarting blood drops. The small cut was over the bone where Sirius had struck him. He sighed heavily to control himself. "We have to get this boy to the hospital. He's really bleeding. Peter can you carry him?" He took off his glasses &amp; bent the wire a bit so it would slope under the cut so he could have both hands free.

"Yes I... I can do that," Peter said slowly. "Don't move Ron."

James smiled quickly at Harry (which aggravated his bright red cheek) before marching past Remus &amp; Sirius. He shook his hand a bit, the one that had been holding his cut. Blood drops fell from his fingers to the floor. He paused for a moment, putting his hand on his jaw. Everyone heard a crack. James groaned a little before moving towards Snape.

James sighed, staring at the limp form in the wall. "I suppose I have to save your sorry hide again!" He wrenched Snape none too gently out of the hole in the wall &amp; flipped him over his shoulders. "What a moron! How'd he even get to teach?" He turned back to Peter with Ron, avoiding Sirius's eyes. "Let's go straight to Dumbledore after dropping Ron off." Though he continued to avoid looking at Sirius, he added. "You'll be free before the night is over Sirius."

"And you will be dead!"

"If you don't like my explanation," James started down the stairs. "You are free to murder me. Double Jeopardy."

"What's that?" Harry asked.

Hermione answered. "It means that if you were wrongfully accused of something, you can go &amp; commit that act after you were set free right in public &amp; there is nothing anyone can do about it. Can't charge twice for the exact same crime. Muggles have it to."

"What? Kill my Dad again?"

"Sirius is charged with his murder Harry, along with fourteen others. Even Peter's."

"Sirius!" Harry hurried after. "You can't...Sirius, it's a shock. But you...not really. You don't mean to kill him do you?"

"I don't know what I feel right now," Sirius actually pushed Harry away.

"If you must kill me," James said. "Please don't do it in front of my son. It's all I ask." They stared at each other, Sirius glowering so much it brought out the more haunted look of Azkaban in him. Sirius suddenly nodded quickly. Not in front of Harry. James let the cat run past. The moment Crookshanks disappeared above ground, he shoved Snape up the hole under the tree &amp; climbed out.

"Sirius please," Harry tried again.

"Be quiet!" Sirius snapped. "I need to think. Don't talk to me. No one talk to me right now or I will have fifteen accidents on my hands. Possibly more!"

Harry grabbed Sirius's sleeve &amp; yanked him back. "You shouldn't have hit him ...Black. Isn't that what Orion did?"

"It's no less than what he deserves!" Sirius wrenched away.

"Sirius!" Harry gasped incredulously.

Sirius glared. "I mean my smacking him, not what more Orion did. Now leave me alone!"

"Who's Orion?" Hermione asked.

"NO ONE!" Harry &amp; Sirius answered much to quickly as they glared at each other. Sirius turned &amp; marched away hurriedly, leaving Harry scrambling to catch up.

"Harry," Hermione grabbed his hand. "What's going on?"

"Hermione if you ask about that man again, I'll be the one who murders someone!"

"Harry?" Hermione stared at him.

"NO!" Harry wrenched himself out her grip. "I don't want to talk about it. Just leave it alone Granger!" Hermione was shocked that he used her last name but without further explanation, Harry turned &amp; stumbled away. Clearly the subject was way off limits. Harry suddenly had one hand over his mouth &amp; bent over for a moment. He moaned softly, then forced himself to get up &amp; follow Sirius. Hermione watched in confusion.

The group pulled themselves out of the hole. James was already well ahead, striding towards the castle with Snape over one shoulder. Peter moved more hesitantly, delicately carrying Ron &amp; trying not to look at him. Remus &amp; Sirius started to follow James but then Hermione yelped.

"HARRY!" Hermione pointed to the sky. The moon was out &amp; it was full.

There was a horrific shriek that made James stop &amp; turn around. Everything else happened in a blur. Remus went rigid with the moonlight. James dropped Snape on the ground, staring in horror. So many non-Animagic folk, so little time.

Sirius seemed to have a similar idea. He ran to Remus &amp; grabbed him. "Remus! Don't forget who you are! Remus!"

Harry &amp; Hermione hung back with Peter &amp; Ron. Harry thought of Passion Year &amp; what his Dad had said about varying lengths in the lunar shifts. Would he take long enough for them all to run? Hardly had that thought crossed his mind when a large Husky-like wolf with a tufted tail stood before them. It was over in seconds. The wolf must have been happy to find not only his mate but his entire pack back with him.

Sirius was thrown aside as Moony landed on all fours &amp; whimpered. Despite Ron's concerns, Hermione slowly moved towards the werewolf. "Professor?" Moony snorted. "Professor Lupin?"

At once, Harry knew she had made a mistake. He saw the eyes. Gold, shot through with red. Moony snarled, then howled. Hermione stumbled back to Harry, Ron &amp; Peter still cowering near the Whomping Willow, just barely out of reach.

"There you are Potter," Snape suddenly appeared &amp; put a hand on Harry's shoulder. He was angry &amp; was in the process of threatening with expulsion when Moony attacked. The entire group went sprawling to the ground with Snape getting the worst of it on his shoulders.

The large wolf turned for a second attack but another dog, a black one, launched itself at the werewolf. Moony &amp; Padfoot were once more fighting to the death. There were humans to eat. Moony didn't need Padfoot right now. He threw the Grim off, only to be slammed by a great Stag. Prongs bugled &amp; charged again. Moony danced around him &amp; nearly took Harry &amp; Snape out in one blow but Padfoot came in for a second round.

Frustrated with his mate, Moony finally took off after Padfoot, determined to teach him a lesson. Prongs disappeared into the thicket nearby. The fight was horrible to listen to. Harry dodged Snape's grasp &amp; ran forward as he heard Padfoot yelping. The great stag nearly ran over Harry as he bounded past. There was a thud as he hit the werewolf's side. Moony pounced, throwing the Stag off-balance. Prongs tumbled hoof over horn down a steep hill out of sight. Moony then turned quickly on Padfoot, driving the black Grim into the boulder.

Not thinking about the consequences &amp; forgetting that he was not an Animagus, Harry launched a large rock at the wolf, hitting him on the head. Moony turned on him. Good. Human. Time to eat! The same thought seemed to have flashed through both his mind &amp; Harry's who suddenly realised what he did as the enraged wolf came on to him.

Harry knew he was dead. Prongs was too far down. Padfoot was nearly dead. Peter was too small &amp; nowhere near anyway &amp; neither Hermione or Snape could get to him in time. Moony growled &amp; was about to charge but then, Harry heard someone else howl. Were there two of them? He glanced nervously towards the thicket. Moony suddenly ran off. Harry watched him &amp; saw Prongs running diagonally to meet with the wolf &amp; both disappeared into the forest.

Harry dashed forward towards Sirius who had reappeared but was so torn &amp; bloody, he could barely move. He lay nearly lifeless by the lake. "Sirius!" Harry fell to his knees beside him. "Sirius! Are you ok?"

"Been better," Sirius groaned through gritted teeth.

Suddenly Hermione screamed "Harry!" for the second time that night at the same moment Sirius cried out, "No! NO STOP! NO!"

Harry shivered &amp; looked around. The entire swarm of Dementors were converging on their spot. He pulled out his wand. "Quick! Use Expecto Patronum!" A stream of silver mist shot out but it only had effect on one Dementor. Harry tried again. Another silver stream came out &amp; fizzled. Hermione was having similar luck. Think happy. My Dad's alive. My Godfather's innocent. "EXPECTO PATRONUM!" Harry was on his knees again. "Exp…Ex..." Condoms. Try condoms! Works for Moony. "Expecto Patronum!" He drove three of them off, but hundreds more took their place. Harry was on his side. His wand fell from his hand. He was passing out.

There was something across the lake. Something large &amp; silvery. The Dementors pulled back as Harry closed his eyes. "...Dad..." The silvery thing had gone back to meet someone who looked a lot like Harry. Did James leave Moony alone to come back &amp; help?

Harry opened his eyes. It was dark. He was warm &amp; lying in a bed. Hermione stood over him. "Harry! They've got Sirius! Any moment now, the Dementors will perform their Kiss!"

"My Dad's alive," Harry sat up. "Sirius is innocent. We have proof!"

"No we don't," Hermione said. "Your Dad had to go into the forest with Lupin remember? Neither of them will come back until the morning."

"Peter then!'

"We can't use him right now either," Hermione said. "Everyone will think he's to blame then. Besides, he's changed back to his Rat form."

"He can tell them who he is!"

"No Harry," Hermione insisted. "Peter isn't right. Didn't your Dad say he did something to Peter years ago? Peter's completely useless right now. He's over there with Ron."

The doors burst open &amp; Dumbledore came in nearly the same time Madam Pomfrey showed up. "Goodness me, get back to bed!" She shoved Harry &amp; Hermione towards their beds &amp; tried to force chocolate on them.

"I'd like a word with these two," Dumbledore began.

Madam Pomfrey was furious with him. "They need their rest."

"I'd like a word," Dumbledore insisted. They argued for a bit, then Madam Pomfrey stormed off. He put a hand up to silence both Harry &amp; Hermione who went into a tirade that Sirius was innocent.

"Headmaster please!" Hermione begged. "You've got to believe us! James Potter is out there right now, keeping Lupin away! Please, can't you get them to wait until the morning at least?"

"No," Dumbledore said. "There's no time. No one will accept the word of three young wizards without any proof. You have no proof that James is back &amp; if that rat by Ron really is Peter, he can't help us. I've checked the spells put on him. He can't answer to anyone but his master."

"Do the spells tell you who the master is?" Harry asked hopefully.

"No."

"It's my Dad!" Harry said. "He said so in the Shrieking Shack."

"Unfortunately for all of us, your father is busy at the moment, as is Professor Lupin," Dumbledore said.

"But Sirius is innocent!" Hermione wailed, wringing her hands. "It isn't fair!"

"No it isn't," Dumbledore agreed. "What we need...is more...time!" Hermione stared at him, suddenly very intent on his every word. "You know the rules Miss Granger!" Dumbledore repeated them anyway, then told her were to find Sirius Black. He headed for the door. "Oh if you hurry, you might save two innocent lives today." He began closing the door.

"What the..." Harry gaped as Hermione swung a chain around his neck. Suddenly, everything went whirring around. Night became day. People zoomed about as if they were fast-forwarded.

"Come with me!" Hermione yanked Harry into the nearest broom closet, giving him no choice in the matter.

"What the—Hermione!"

She closed the door behind them. "Oh back to first names are we?"

"What? Oh!" Harry muttered. "Sorry, but it's a touchy subject." Literally.

"I noticed," Hermione sat down.

"Hermione," Harry gulped, feeling that something very very strange just happened, stranger than his father bounding around out there right now ...or...something to that effect. "What did we just do?"

Harry lay awake in bed several hours later, his mind reeling. It had been an hour since Snape's near-collapse at the escape of Sirius Black but Harry just couldn't sleep. His father was alive. They were all alive except for his mother. Maybe. They had been wrong about everyone else. His father was alive! Maybe his mother was lost out there somewhere. He had just travelled back in time like so many Star Trek episodes. His father was alive! Harry's heart was pounding. Harry had just performed his best Patronus, for it was his time-travelled own self he had seen across the lake, not his father...who was quite alive. Why didn't James Potter come to him before now? Had he been abandoned?

Harry &amp; Hermione had rescued Buckbeak to save Sirius. Harry was tired, having a literal long day with a few extra hours added to it. His father was alive. He rolled over, trying to sleep, knowing he wouldn't. Ron &amp; Hermione were both snoring by now. Madam Pomfrey was gone. Peter in Rat form was curled up on a window ledge above Ron. Harry felt his half closed curtains rustle. Suddenly, Harry flipped back, feeling that he was not alone. He sat bolt right up.

James Potter was standing there, looking down at him. He was flexing his fists by his sides, as if trying to relieve tension &amp; took in slow breaths, trying to calm down. Or keep calm.

"Where's Lupin?" Harry asked under breath. "Where'd you leave him?"

"Forest," James said. "Sirius landed beside us. The pair can keep each other company. Hmm!" He put his hands on the railing at the foot of the bed &amp; closed his eyes.

Harry noticed that his breathing was heavier &amp; was about to ask what was wrong but then, he remembered. A major fear of hospitals. He got out of bed. "There's that unused classroom down the hall. Let's go there so we don't wake anyone else."

"Yes!" James gasped with relief &amp; was suddenly out the door before Harry could blink. He hurried after as quietly as possible.

Harry found James lying on the bench that served as a windowsill for a ceiling high window. The moonlight was flooding in, giving Harry full view of his father. James was staring outside, his head lying on the frame. He watched the Dementors swooping around as they gathered together. They were to be moved back to the prison in the morning. He clasped his gloved hands in front of him after tossing off the edge of his cloak which now hung loosely from his shoulders. James was dressed in full black now, his golden sheath by his right hip. An Auror's uniform from back in the day no doubt. Harry moved closer. The moonlight bounced off the tears on James's face &amp; Harry could see some of them mingling with the drying blood running along a terrific bruise forming. Sirius had struck hard.

James suddenly turned to look at Harry. It was almost panther like. One minute he was staring out the window, the next, he had his son in his sight. "So. We meet." He sighed. "Properly, at last."

"Where have you been all this time?" Harry demanded.

"I'm only telling it once," James said. Harry glared at him. "Oh you poor thing. You must feel abandoned. Let me assure you, I did not. But I couldn't be with you. That part you'll understand tomorrow."

"Not even an owl?"

James shook his head. "I risked seeing you only a few times."

"I don't remember seeing you."

"I was using Polyjuice potion," James said. "You might be too young to remember but, there was once someone that shook your hand before you turned eleven."

"I remem...hang on. That was you?"

James nodded. "I'm also the one that sold that lemon sweet when you went to the zoo. You know, when that snake got loose? I was the woman selling treats there."

"That was you too?" Harry gaped.

"I knew you might like lemon sweets," James snickered. "Your mother did. Oh but, don't tell Sirius I was a woman. He'll never shut up about it!"

"I almost didn't even make it to the zoo," Harry inwardly laughed at the very idea of Sirius liking James in a dress.

"Oh wrong there," James raised a brow. "I made sure you were guaranteed to go. Petunia's such a bitch. No one likes her. I pretend Lily isn't related to her."

Harry suddenly viewed the times Petunia whined about James Potter in a different light. Smiling he asked, "So ...are you ...are you sure about...Mum?"

"Yes Harry. She is dead. There is no mistake there," James lowered his hands &amp; stared out the window for a moment. "She died the night you got that." He turned back to Harry &amp; put a hand on his forehead, lifting the fringe. "Ohh!" James recoiled. "It's the first time I see that up close."

"It's just a scar," Harry tried to shrug it off.

"You shouldn't have it in the first place!" James snarled. He stood up &amp; walked slowly around the classroom. "Ohh I can't believe Remus was called in for that. The poor thing! I can't even begin to kid myself into imagining what that was like."

"You said you can explain it?"

"Yeah," was all James said.

After a moment, Harry tried again. "Professor Lupin ruled out vampirism." James snickered. "I thought it would be kind of cool." Harry pressed on. "Vampire for a father &amp; a werewolf for a pet."

"Sorry but I'm quite human," James laughed harder. He fell silent &amp; looked away. "Harry, there's ...something you should know before the meeting later." He continued his way around the room, looking anywhere but at Harry. "You're going to hear about—I mean, uh. Oh Merlin help!" He stared at a small cupboard by the wall.

"I know Sirius is my Godfather," Harry offered.

"Oh good," James brightened up.

"He shouldn't have hit you," Harry complained.

"He has every right to be mad. I get it," James merely shrugged. "I wish it didn't turn out like this. He didn't deserve Azkaban."

Harry suddenly remembered something. "Dad, Peter IS missing a finger! He tricked everyone into blaming Sirius!"

"Not exactly," James said. "But we'll deal with that later."

"But Dad—"

"Peter is as innocent as Sirius," James declared firmly, cutting Harry off with a wave of his hand. "It's my fault he's messed up right now but I can fix that in a bit."

Harry gave up. "You wanted to tell me something then?" He could see James's jaw lock up.

James turned away &amp; began moving about the room once more. "What a mess," he sighed, coming to a stop by the desk in the center. He gently touched his swelling cheek with his covered fingertips for a moment. "It started in my sixth year. I did someth—well something hap...happened."

"Oh I already know about your affair with Sirius," Harry interrupted. "Relax. It doesn't bother me any more."

James raised both eyebrows into his bangs. "Guess he told you then. What do you mean any more?" He pulled off his leather gloves &amp; put them into the pocket of his cloak. "If there's a problem, surely we can discuss it?"

"Well in the beginning, I still thought Sirius had killed you," Harry said. "But I read the whole thing &amp; saw your footnote. Then, I didn't mind."

James stared long &amp; hard. "Footnote?"

"Yeah at the end," Harry nodded. "You wr…" Then he felt as cold as if he had been touched by a Dementor. "Oh. Right. You're the real thing, not the photos. I um...Fred &amp; George gave me the Marauder's Map before last Christmas." Harry hesitated before blurting out in one breath. "IfoundyourPassionYearjournal!"

Father &amp; son shared a long look. James stepped back a few times. "No ...not you!" He shook his head. "NO!" Suddenly, the windows along the right side of the classroom erupted one after another.

James had raised his hand towards them &amp; moved down the row. It took Harry a moment to realise that his father was wandless. James spun slowly on the spot, letting his warped powers blast every last window.

"DAD!" Harry dived under the desk to get away from the rain of shards.

"MY GOD NO!" James raised his hand towards the ceiling. The chandelier came crashing down &amp; Harry barely managed to cover his eyes in time.

After several moments, Harry cautiously emerged from under the desk. James was slumped over it, hands clasped in front of him, sobbing hard into his arms. Harry's jaw ticked. Well, that part was over. Harry moved forward &amp; reached out to take his father's hands.

Lily never touched him. Harry recoiled at the memory &amp; narrowly avoided touching his father. Like his mother, he stayed nearby, but didn't dare touch. It was then that Harry saw them. The round spots on his wrists. The crucifix scars! Harry knew there was a whole lot more going up both of James's arms. The tiny diamonds along the gold bracelet on James's left wrist glinted at Harry like so many eyes in the dimness.

Harry let out a long low breath. Before, the events of the memoirs were a thing of the past. Something that was done &amp; over with. But now? Now that he saw the actual scarring &amp; the bracelet his mother had given James, everything flared back to life again. James was still curled up on the chair, leaning over the desk. Harry sat down nearby &amp; waited.

James suddenly got up &amp; began stalking around the room. He raised a hand towards each broken window, then lowered it while curling his fingers into a fist. A bolt of power unseen fixed each window. Harry forced himself to unclench his jaw. Once again his father was using neither wand or word. Harry would never admit it, but he was actually afraid of his father that night. He knew that the power of James was warped. He knew James lost control whenever he was in a mood. He had already proven that by blowing up the entire classroom with both himself &amp; his son in the center of it.

After fixing the last window, James walked resolutely to the center where Harry sat waiting at one desk. The crystal shards of the smashed chandelier crunched under his boots. James stopped &amp; glanced down at them, then up at the hole in the ceiling. He took the desk in front of Harry, looking a little tired. Harry realized that James had used up a lot of energy during his outburst, even more to regain control. He wouldn't be fixing the chandelier any time soon.

"So," James sighed. "You know about Orion then."

Harry wrenched his eyes away from his father's hands where the tops of the crucifix scars showed. "I didn't tell anyone!"

James half-smiled. "I'm not accusing you of anything. It's just...that diary was meant for Sirius, not you. I wanted to burn it but in the end, it was all I had to free Sirius from the predicament he put himself in. I never got the chance to tell him about it though. So there it sat, useless for over a decade when who should find it, but you?"

Harry once again found the round scars very interesting. James may have said he wasn't accusing him of anything, but Harry still felt guilty &amp; couldn't look his father in the eye. "I'm sorry, but...but at least I did manage to figure Sirius out."

"That's all that matters."

Harry nodded mutely. After nearly a minute of silence, he suddenly looked up. "It was you then. Last Christmas. You sent me the Firebolt!" Harry had never asked anyone about it before now. He never thought to ask Sirius or Remus, believing it was Dumbledore. Being so busy with each ot—er uh—the Map &amp; the hunt for Peter, neither of them had mentioned it either.

"Firebolt?" James repeated. "No. I just recently got here. I've been trying to find Sirius since I saw the papers about his escape last summer. Then suddenly, after years of thinking him dead, who do I see but Remus running across the grounds tonight yelling at Padfoot to wait for him. He disappeared under the tree so I figured Sirius was in the Shack. I heard you play Quidditch quite well, but I never sent you any broom." Harry sighed. Back to Dumbledore then. "I must admit," James went on. "I never sent you anything for any birthday or Christmas. It wasn't because I didn't want to. I spent each of those days crying for you but I couldn't risk too much contact. I'll be damned before I let anyone else hurt you!"

"I understand," Harry said.

James actually managed a weak laugh as he stood up. "Hardly, my dear boy. But you will in a few hours." He put his hands on Harry's shoulders &amp; suddenly Harry felt himself slide off the chair into his father's arms, after a lifetime of thinking such a thing could never happen.

"Dad," Harry felt strange using that word. "What if Sirius still wants to kill you after?"

"He won't."

"But what if he does?"

"He won't!" James repeated. "He just doesn't know all the facts right now. But he'll get very mad when he does."

"At you?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Harry, I've known Sirius a lot longer than you have," said James before he laughed. "In the Biblical sense at that."

"Dad," Harry pulled away, rolling his eyes. "I really don't want to know any more details about that."

"Does it bother you that much?"

Harry huffed. "I don't care if you go off with Devil's Snare. I just don't need any more details. You wrote enough of them in that stupid journal of yours! One more detail of your...your..." Harry remembered how open the family had been. He forced himself to go on. "your sex life..." he mentally cursed his father. "...I'll give you a box of condoms for your next birthday."

James bent down so that he was eye to eye with his son. "Shut up!"

"Or a Koi fish!" Harry grinned wickedly, stepping backwards as James lunged for him.

"Harold-James, I'm this close," James put up his right-hand fingers &amp; pressed thumb &amp; forefinger together. "to sparing Voldemort the trouble of killing you."

"That's real close," Harry just smirked. "I'll put the Koi in a condom &amp; give it to you."

"DIE!" James pounced on Harry &amp; the two of them went crashing to the floor. James pinned Harry face down. "If I never see another condom or Koi again, it'll be too soon."

"You're an idiot."

"Not as big an idiot as Sirius," James defended.

"True," Harry sighed as James let him go so he could lie on his back beside Harry. They both stared at the ceiling.

"I hate Kois! I hope they go extinct," James complained under breath.

Harry just laughed. He rolled away, dodging his father's swipe, laughing harder. "Maybe I'll make you some sushi some day."

"I'd love that," James snarled, thinking dark thoughts of Kois...writhing...on a stick...or baked…something painful. "A Koi in a con...yet you call me the idiot." He changed subjects. "So, which one of those mutts stunned Snivelus for me?"

Harry sat up &amp; glared down at his father. "That was me."

"You?" James exclaimed. "You really are my son then." He pulled Harry back down.

"Why do you call him that?" Harry asked. He felt James shrug.

"Eh, it's just a nickname. Forget about it," James answered. "He &amp; I go way back. Way way back. Hmm," he stretched a bit before going on. "Wait until he wakes up. That's when the dragon's going to blow hell from it's mouth."

They ended up lying on the floor together, dozing off. Harry kept jerking awake wondering if this was all a strange dream, only to find James nearby him. When at last Harry did fall asleep, it was nearing dawn. He suddenly sat up fully awake about an hour after dawn.

James was gone.

"Dad?" Harry jumped to his feet &amp; ran out into the Entrance Hall. Harry glanced around, wishing he had the Map back. "Dad!' He called out again. Suddenly the great oaken doors banged open &amp; Harry turned only to be blinded by the rising sun. Blinking &amp; putting a hand over his eyes, Harry heard angry voices that he recognised all to well by now.

* * *

*** Various scenes/lines taken from Prisoner Of Azkaban movie &amp; book.**

That was a hard chapter to write. I've been fiddling with it for over a month! LOL

Vlad, tehehehe I once saw that chocolate bunny. Cost over 300 Canadian dollars!

Anyway, the last chapter was the original ending of the story. No James yadda yadda. I was going to stop here &amp; let the story go back to the books. But I noticed a couple of things I had left open &amp; well...this story is doubled in size. So from this chapter on its more of an AU, but I will still keep close to the canon facts from books/movies, just with some obvious variances.


	37. Chapter 37

**(37) A Stag's Secret**

"Betrayed by my own cousin!" Sirius burst through the Entrance doors with a loud bang.

"Betrayal?" James was close behind. "Don't talk to me about betrayal! You should have been my Secret Keeper!"

"I was trying to keep you alive!" Sirius whirled around.

"Congrats, I'm still here!" James snarled as another figure stumbled inside. Remus leaned against the doorframe looking ragged. It was way too early for him to be out &amp; about, but right now there were far more important matters to attend to.

Sirius merely growled so much, Padfoot's fangs snapped into place for a moment. He turned quickly away &amp; crashed into Harry. "Sorry," Sirius snatched the boy up by the collar &amp; put him aside. He glanced up as several screams rang out above him from the marble staircase. "WHAT?!" He bellowed at four early students on their way to the Great Hall. They turned &amp; fled back the way they had come. "You see this James?" Sirius pointed at the fleeing students. "Everyone fears me. They think I'll kill them!"

"Well forgive me for not dying like the world says!" James shot back.

"I DIDN'T WANT YOU DEAD JAMES!" Sirius fell to his knees. "I WANTED YOU SAFE! I TRIED EVERYTHING I COULD THINK OF!"

"I know," James whispered as other students who were on the way to the Great Hall for breakfast stopped dead in their tracks &amp; stared. The crowd grew larger as those in front blocked the way. Many of them glanced back &amp; forth between the pair. Most of them knew what the last of the Potters looked like &amp; so were rather confused when a dead one was having a shouting match with his murderer right in the middle of the entrance floor.

"Please stop being mad at me," James went on. "Let's go to Dumbledore."

"Yes, let's," Sirius stood up. "I never wanted you dead James. It's the fact that I was left for twelve years in hell that I can't come to terms with!"

"Sirius, I'm sorry! I didn't know ok?" James shouted.

The crowd broke into whispers. What was a Potter doing apologising to the traitor? Shouldn't it be the other way around? Or was Sirius actually innocent, the very idea?

"How could you not know? It was all over the news!" Sirius glowered at him, not believing. "I felt love for you! I've loved you since we were sixteen! I let you share my bed for an entire year!"

"Tell the whole world, why don't you?" James muttered under breath as there was a collective gasp from the ever-growing group of students. He &amp; Harry both tried not to look at Remus, but all the wolf did was slowly make his way towards Sirius without aggravating his newest lunar wounds. He already knew this. Harry could see the now-black mark on his father's face.

"This is the thanks I get?" Sirius went on through gritted his teeth. "Your explanation had better be good Potter, or I just might explode!" At that, he turned &amp; marched up the stairs, ignoring more screams from other students who had barely just arrived only to look on horrified. The group flattened against the walls on either side as none other than Sirius Black &amp; those he had supposedly betrayed marched through in plain sight.

James shook his head, glanced at Harry, then looked at the werewolf who was staring at the stairs with loathing. This was going to hurt to climb up. "Remus...I—Sirius. We had..."

"I already know," Remus was about to put a hand up but winced. "I've known since Sirius &amp; I first became mates. Where else would you get that touch in the sauna?"

"Sauna?" James stared. He put his hands up in defeat &amp; started up the stairs, helping Remus manoeuvre the climb as Harry followed at a distance behind. "Moony ...something's going to come out up there. About sixth year."

"Other than you &amp; Sirius?"

"Yeah," James let Remus rest a moment. "You should be in bed. We can do this later."

"Sirius will go crazy if we wait," Remus sighed tiredly. "Besides, I'm too hyper to sleep right now. I just got everyone back after thinking they were all dead or traitors for twelve years. I agree with Sirius on one thing Jim. You better have a good explanation for leaving him like that. How could you not know?"

"You'll understand shortly," James helped Remus along.

By now, they had moved beyond the crowds by the entrance &amp; the stairs had shifted. No more of their conversation could be over heard but everyone had enough to gossip about for a while. Sirius &amp; James? What the hell happened? What was wrong with Professor Lupin (who also seemed to have something going on with Sirius Black)?

James supported Remus as they worked the next set of stairs. James knew all too well how to handle stairs after being put through torture. "It has to do with that school year which Sirius already knows," James said after Remus caught his breath &amp; moved again. "So does Harry since he read that damn diary!" Harry flinched as James went on. "It's connected to something from our sixth year."

"Jim, I know something bad happened to you that year," Remus grimaced as he missed a step. James held him up. "We all did."

"Yeah, it's quite bad," James didn't say more until they reached the gargoyle.

Harry felt cold all over. Whatever had happened, it had to do with Orion Black somehow, he was sure of it. He silently entered Dumbledore's office &amp; sat down. Peter was already there, looking a little out of it as if he didn't really know where he was. Dumbledore sat behind his desk. Next to him was Fawkes. Standing on the other side was Fudge who was glaring at Sirius Black. Dumbledore ordered everyone to sit down.

James however, started pacing silently, going over his speech one last time ...or perhaps stalling for just a moment longer before exposing himself to the world. He finally stopped in front of Peter. "First things first." He made as if to put his hands on Peter's face, but the other man pulled back in fright. "Easy, I'm not going to hurt you."

"I might."

"Sirius, shut up! He's as innocent as you are." James reached for Peter again, ignoring Sirius's glare. He put a hand on either side of Peter's head. "You answer only to me."

"Yes."

"Your memories are not your own," James went on. "You remember very little of Peter Pettigrew."

"Yes."

"Jim wh—" Sirius began.

"SHH!" James shushed him. "You've done your job as best possible, given the circumstances. Now tell me, how much do you know right now?"

"Those two," Peter pointed with his four-fingered hand. "We used to be friends. That's a wolf. They're trying to kill Peter for killing the Stag &amp; his mate. Your son is here."

"Yes, he's here," James said. "Anything else?"

"Peter is here, somewhere. But I can't fully access those memories."

"Are you Bloodclaw?" Sirius asked incredulously. "So you're the tra...oh wow! Feed him an Anti-magus potion then."

Peter glared at Sirius. "See? They want me dead!"

"For what they think is a good reason," James said. "But nothing is what it seems. For the record Sirius, Bloodclaw did nothing but obey my commands."

"Who is Bloodclaw?" Fudge asked.

James stared at him. "Surely by now you know the secrets of the Marauders? We're Animagi. Sirius has told me that both he &amp; Dumbledore explained everything last night, yet you still tried to stick the Dementors on him!" Fudge wanted to say more but Dumbledore glared at him to be quiet. James turned back to Peter. "I'm going to release you from the spells I put on you many years ago. It's going to hurt so be warned. A migraine mostly."

He pressed his hands to Peter's temples &amp; began chanting softly in Lakotan. After a few minutes, Peter yelped &amp; fell to his knees. James hung on until there was a ring of yellow around Peter's head. James lifted it off as Peter lay on his side clutching his forehead as a migraine exploded.

"Mm Peter's going to hate me when he rights himself," James stumbled back a few paces, waiting.

"Jim?" Remus glanced back &amp; forth between him &amp; Peter. "What on Earth did you just do?"

"Slave crown," Sirius snarled. "James how could you?"

"I'll explain in a moment," James watched Peter. "Give him some time."

They all waited as Peter slowly stopped whimpering. He got to his knees, then pulled himself up. Harry noticed that the rat-like features were gone &amp; the man before them looked far more human than in the Shrieking Shack the night before. Peter shook himself, rubbing his forehead. He glanced over Sirius &amp; Remus, lingered a moment on Harry, then looked at James.

"Jim?" Peter stared at him. "What the hell did you do to me?"

"I'm sorry," James hung his head. "I thought it was my only option until quite recently." He was right. If looks could kill, he would be dead now. Peter was glaring at him.

"Only ...option?" Peter echoed softly under breath. "THAT was your ONLY OPTION? You bastard!"

"Enough!" Sirius stood up but was suddenly hard on his arse in the chair again.

All James did was lift a finger. "I deserved every last syllable of that."

"We're supposed to be friends! YOU DON'T DO THAT TO FRIENDS JIM!" Peter went on.

"We're not friends," Sirius muttered to himself. Remus punched his shoulder to shut him up.

"Now that's its reversed," James said. "Tell us what you know. In the Shack, your main line was that you didn't know what these two were talking about. You were right &amp; it's my fault."

Peter looked around. "Yes it is," he shot a dark look at James. "But I remember properly now. Sirius is trying to kill me no thanks to you!"

"We thought you sold Jim &amp; Lily to Voldemort," Remus said.

"I was never their Secret Keeper."

"You were supposed to substitute for me," Sirius huffed. "That was the plan. Make people think I was the Secret Keeper while you went off &amp; stayed safe."

"Then why did you change your mind?" Peter demanded.

"I didn't," Sirius glared.

"You attacked me! I woke up in a ditch &amp; the next thing I know, I forgot where Jim &amp; Lily lived," Peter said. "I knew then that the spell had gone up, shutting me out."

"I never saw you again until you blew up the street!" Sirius was on his feet for another second before crashing back into his chair. "Quit it Jim!"

"I SAW YOU!" Peter shot back. "You apparated right beside me &amp; punched me right in the face, knocking me out."

"If only!"

"Enough," James put up both hands, then turned to Dumbledore. "They're both speaking the truth. Peter was attacked before making it to my house. He never got the chance to become my Secret Keeper."

"I never attacked him!"

"No, you didn't," James agreed still looking at Dumbledore. "Confused yet? There's more." He turned back to Peter, holding up the slave crown. "I really do apologise for this." Peter just glared at him.

"What is that thing?" Remus demanded.

"It's a slave crown. Whoever wears it loses all control of themselves &amp; are subject to the owner of the crown. We were magically linked through this. Peter could do nothing without my command."

"You did far more to me than that," Peter crossed his arms.

James nodded. "I thought Sirius &amp; Remus were dead. You to. But I found out what happened to you though when we met by sheer luck once. Remember when we met after Voldemort destroyed my home?"

"About two years later," Peter said. "It was in the Leaky Cauldron. I was so surprised you were still alive. I had gone into hiding for a bit, wondering if Voldemort was truly gone. I often posed as the pet of Percy Weasley to listen for information of any kind, but I would often run off just to live as a man. I rarely visited the Wizarding World &amp; when I did, I kept myself disguised."

"I saw Bloodclaw washing his paws while sitting on the side of your neck," James said. "We almost didn't even meet then until I saw him."

"I wish we never did."

"I'm so sorry," James tried.

"You're not sorry! Not yet!"

James sighed heavily. "Before we go on, explain what you think happened between you &amp; Sirius."

"I knew he was in Azkaban, but I thought he deserved it," Peter shrugged. "As for the street blowing up &amp; framing him as he claims," he held up his cut hand. "I don't remember doing that. In fact, there's a time I thought I really had been your Secret Keeper &amp; so kept hidden in case people would start blaming me. But ...I never was. I don't understand. There's still a blank missing. What else did you do to me?"

"Oh that wasn't me," James said. "That was the same person who attacked you."

"Which wasn't me!" Sirius declared.

"We know that," James said wearily. "Anyway, back to the Leaky Cauldron. Peter saw me just before I caught him."

"I was about to talk to you," Peter interrupted. "I was going to ask you why Sirius was in Azkaban if you were alive but then you attacked me!"

"I stunned him," James said. "Oh if only I had waited two seconds! If only. Anyway, after that, I took full control of him &amp; I reversed his human &amp; Spirit memories. That is why Peter lived as a pet for all these years. I ordered Bloodclaw back to the Weasleys, knowing the kids would go to Hogwarts. Bloodclaw was to keep a better eye on my son than I ever could."

"You...reversed..." Remus stared at James.

"Like I said," James put up a hand to stop him. "I deserved every last syllable."

"You idiot!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Sorry, I don't get it?" Harry asked.

"You read what I wrote so you know enough about Animagic to know that these things are Spirit Guides," James said. "Normally the Spirit allows us to transform but we can live our own lives as we wish. I forced Peter down &amp; used his Spirit, Bloodclaw, as a spy to look after you."

"Why couldn't I just do that?" Peter asked.

"I was trying to keep you safe as well," James said.

"Didn't you think I was dead?" Sirius droned in a cynical voice .

"I'm not talking about being safe from you," James retorted. "As for you," he looked Sirius in the eye. "Your plan terrified me. I knew what would happen to you whether or not someone betrayed me. So I wrote out what we had decided &amp; brought it here. I put it in our little triangular conference room under this castle. I set up a brick wall similar to Platform 9 &amp; ¾'s but with a major difference. Only those of my blood could now get in. You &amp; unfortunately, Harry. Dumbledore, just before Lily &amp; I were to put up the Fidelus Charm, you asked about my Cloak. Remember the day I brought it here?"

Dumbledore nodded. "I ended up keeping your Cloak until Harry came to Hogwarts. I gave it back to your family for Harry's first Christmas here."

"Thanks," James said. "Now Sirius, the last time I saw you was in the walnut grove. I left a few minutes later to give Dumbledore my Cloak. I also put that note in its place, intending to tell you about it before I returned home. After the walnut grove, when was the next time you saw me?" They shared a silent look. James knew exactly when the next time for Sirius was but it had to go on record. "Sirius...Padfoot. Please."

Sirius suddenly blinked. "Uhh, you were dead in my arms. That's right! I held you one last time. James you WERE dead!" Sirius stood up &amp; began pacing. He saw James dead. Remus declared James dead &amp; there was no vampirism. "Jim, did you find a reversing spell for the death curse?"

"No," James answered. "Tell us what happened that night."

Sirius glared at him. "When the spell was lifted, of course I remembered where you were. I knew something was wrong. You were dead on the floor!" He gasped in a breath. "I fled upstairs. Lily—then I see Harry in his crib. He was alright. Bleeding a bit. Scared. Crying. But he was alive. I eventually gave Harry &amp; my motorbike to Hagrid, then I took off after you!" He glared at Peter. "We all know what happened next."

"Only I know what truly happened next!" James shot back.

"James! You WERE dead!" Sirius suddenly broke down. Remus pulled him back into the chair.

"I was never there," James said. "Just like Peter, I never made it back home."

"You were there!" Sirius repeated.

"No, I was not," James buried his face in his hands. "Ohh we're getting to that part! Sirius," he looked up at him once more. "After leaving the note for you, I met you at the gates at Hogsmeade, or so I thought. It was really the same guy that took Peter out &amp; became my Secret Keeper instead."

"Who?"

"We missed, Padfoot," James said. "I missed, actually." He addressed Fudge. "I'm the one that needs to go to the Dementors. During my sixth year, I attempted a murder &amp; thought I had succeeded. Turns out I had just put him into a coma."

Sirius was on his feet once more. James looked at him over his shoulder. Sirius was shaking. "No...please no!"

"On my way back from the Forest, I noticed Regulus walking across the Pitch," James went on. "He found the new grave &amp; saved his father."

Fudge stood up a little straighter. "Why did you try to kill him?"

"Ohh Merlin help me," James whimpered. "That's the question I had been dreading all night." He turned away, wiping his eyes with one hand.

"Mr. Potter," Fudge said after a few moments. "You've just confessed to attempted murder. Have you anything else to say?"

"Oh give him a moment, for pity's sake!" Sirius shouted at him. "Jim, don't! It wasn't him who tried to kill, it was me! I can be quite the murderer wh—"

"Oh shut up Padfoot!" James interrupted. "You weren't the one raped nearly to death by Orion Black that summer!" The room went silent for a moment before James added in a hoarse voice. "Or crucified by him or suffered more of his advances while nailed to that cross!"

Sirius had closed his eyes. Harry &amp; Peter kept their eyes firmly on the floor. After a long silent moment, it was Remus who spoke first. "So it took the destruction of the entire pack for that to come out." Sirius took hold of Remus's hand while everyone else looked at them. "Oh please! When will you lot remember that I am a wolf? I smelled it the moment I boarded the train going back to Hogwarts. I knew Jim was raped! I've always known!" There were gasps from everyone but Sirius as he went on. "I didn't know who. But I tried more than once to get Jim to open up but he didn't want to, so I watched over him from afar. I had a feeling it was Orion Black that night Jim attacked him."

James groaned &amp; knelt on the floor. He looked up at Peter who said, "I've known to."

"How?" James asked furiously. "How did you find out?"

"Harry told me a while ago."

"No I didn't," Harry stared at him.

"Yeah, you did," Peter switched to his rat for a moment. "Remember? There was a jolt of magic between us when you touched my paw."

Harry clapped one hand to his mouth. "Dad, I'm sorry! I didn't know what Scabbers was then!"

"Forget it," James muttered. "He would have found out here anyway."

"That power bolt was a Wizard's Promise," Peter went on. "I can't tell anyone not in the know about it. I wouldn't want to either. Neither can you." Harry stared at him.

James pushed himself up &amp; undid the cuff buttons on each sleeve. He pushed the left one up to reveal a black arm band wrapped around that covered from his wrist to his elbow. It had a slit on the underside where the edges slightly overlapped each other. He pulled it off, then did the same to his right arm, then held both up for Fudge to see. The Minister gasped as he saw the scars criss-cross all the way up both arms. At each wrist, the crucifix scars were still visible. James lowered them &amp; Harry could see the marks. His teeth clenched into the flesh inside his cheeks. He somehow knew that a lot more scars had been added since Passion Year had been written.

"That is...quite dreadful," Fudge stammered. "Dreadful indeed."

James put both hands together in an arrest &amp; held them out. "So, will you let my two friends go? Sirius &amp; Peter did nothing!"

"Obviously," Fudge said. "You're alive after all."

"Sir!" Remus cried out. "You can't send Jim to the Dementors for that, can you? It was self defence! What would you do if someone did that to you?"

"Mr. Potter won't be given to the Dementors," Fudge cut in. "You are right, it was defence, but I don't understand. Forgive me for being indelicate—I am truly appalled by what happened to you, Mr. Potter—but what does that have to do with the innocence of either of these men?"

"That man that attacked Peter &amp; became my Secret Keeper instead," James began. "is the same one who met me at the gates of Hogsmeade &amp; kidnapped me before I got home. It was Orion under Polyjuice to look like Sirius. Then, he took more Polyjuice to look like Peter so Lily would think it was Peter who hid us &amp; as for that dead man you said goodbye to Sirius, he's a muggle under Polyjuice &amp; Imperious. Sent by Orion Black. His name is Andrew Scott &amp; he took my place while Orion had me under lock &amp; key far away. That's who you declared dead, Remus. Andrew, not me. You die with the face you're stuck with if you had Polyjuice. Andrew is lying beside Lily right now, in a grave bearing my name but I can't fix those graves. Orion knows I want to return Andrew to his family. It's also why," James looked straight at Harry. "I'm staying away from you. My dear boy, I would die if my hunter gets his hands on you!"

"I understand now," Harry felt a sudden rush of relief. He was not abandoned! It wasn't his father's fault he couldn't be around.

"As for Peter's finger," James went on. "Peter did do that BUT!" He quickly stood between Peter &amp; Fudge. "It was Orion who put him under a very powerful Imperious curse. I tried to remove the lingering affects but I can't. Peter will always have a blank from that day &amp; know only what he had read or what we told him. All this is Orion Black's fault! Not Sirius! Not Peter. Orion turned all my friends against each other trying to kill them all. He told me they were all dead. He said Sirius died in the blast, not go to Azkaban. He even had a Daily Prophet to prove it. I realise now it was a fake one. I was stuck with that man for two years before I finally escaped but he keeps trying to get me back. I thought Sirius was dead. Same with Peter but then I knew Peter changed to Wormtail after blowing up a street when I saw him in the Leaky Cauldron. I began to wonder if maybe Remus at least was alive so I looked for him, but I couldn't find him anywhere."

"Mama died just after it all happened," Remus interjected. "Papa &amp; I left for several years. We went to America. Canada. Russia. Any place we usually wouldn't go."

"Remus I'm sorry," James sighed. "You were really hit hard back then weren't you?"

"Yeah," Remus said in a weak voice.

"My only hope was getting Peter to stick him on my son," James turned back to Peter. "I had to switch Peter &amp; Bloodclaw around in case Orion started going after you to, if you get what I mean?" Hands clasped behind his back, James stepped slowly towards Peter. "Orion wouldn't rape a rat I doubt. I didn't want him to hurt you to, so Bloodclaw had to take over. Understand now?" Peter had both hands over his mouth by now as he nodded slowly.

"There's something we're all forgetting in all this," Dumbledore finally spoke. "Someone has been slipping information to Voldemort in that War."

"You think it was one of these men?" Fudge asked.

"Originally, all evidence pointed to Mr. Lupin here," Dumbledore said. "But he had nothing to do with it."

"Mr. Lupin...where have I heard that name before?"

"Lycan registrar," Lupin stated simply.

Fudge stared at him. "You—you're..."

"A werewolf?" Lupin stared coolly back with a short nod. _"Oui (Yes)."_

"That's why they're calling you a wolf," Fudge said weakly. "I thought maybe you were yet another illegal Animagus."

Remus shook his head. "It's why I'm so weak right now. I just got back from my latest Lunar shift but haven't had time to rest up yet."

"I've known him since he was a wee pup," Dumbledore went on, ignoring the blush rising in Lupin's cheeks. "He was kept by his human family after Fenrir's attack. He was a student here for seven years &amp; now one of our best teachers."

"You hired...a werewo...Albus, that's illegal!"

"Laws are meant to be bent at times," Dumbledore replied.

"You have a problem with Remus, you will answer to me," James glared, stepping forward to block Fudge's view of Remus. The windows shuddered ominously.

"I didn't say that."

"You as good as!" James retorted as the windows burst. Everyone ducked. "My sorcery's been warped ever since that summer when I was sixteen. Voldemort himself would be foolish not to fear me. In fact, he probably should have killed me when he had a chance. So don't test me! You think an ol' moon dog's terrifying? You haven't seen me unleash control of my powers!" Harry got ready to bolt for the door as he saw pale beams of light coil around his father's hands, wand free hands.

Fudge seemed to have a similar idea. A long dead top-notch Auror losing control of his magic was not something he wanted to deal with. "Let's get back to who the spy was then. Do you know? Is that spy here?"

"Yeah I know who that is," James said quickly, glancing at Peter. "Where's Zephyra?"

"What?"

"Your fiancée," James said. "Where is she? What happened?"

"She disappeared just before the wedding," Peter said. "Voldemort took her. You know that!"

"Zephyra was black," James said. "You can't see the Dark Mark on her arm."

"WHAT?" Peter &amp; Sirius both yelped.

"She had you under love potion Peter," James went on. "She used you. As her lover, you of course let slip random things. I did that with Lily. It's only natural. When she had enough information, she took off."

"How can you say that?" Peter gasped.

"Because she joined Orion," James said. "She had her way with me a few times to. She often laughed about how she tricked you, usually when she was getting off at my expense. During one of my attempts to escape, I cut her from throat to groin for what she did! She's dead &amp; thank God!"

"Wow what a mess!" Sirius pinched the bridge of his nose as Peter doubled over in shock. "Where's Orion now?"

"Out there," James pointed out the window. "He's close but he won't dare come into the grounds. He didn't expect to have you, Remus &amp; the Dementors here on top of Dumbledore &amp; Fudge."

"He's here?" Remus gasped. "Well let's get him!"

James smiled &amp; for once it looked genuine even though it didn't last long. "I thought I was doing this alone. I thought you were both dead. All I had left was my son &amp; Peter. I was only trying to keep them safe."

"Two years," Sirius sighed. "You people better give me to the Dementors now before I get my hands on that vile creature!"

"Remember what Orion said?" James began. "That if he ever got his hands on me again, he would make me pay for attacking him? Well ... he did. Sirius! If I had known, I wouldn't have left you there. I came as soon as I knew what really happened to you. I thought you were dead. I didn't see anyone outside of my own prison for two years before I finally managed to get away. But then I had to keep out sight, protect my son &amp; keep moving. By the time I had gotten out, the story had died down. No one spoke of you or what they thought you did &amp; I didn't have time to wait around for them to start. I had to keep my son &amp; myself as well as Peter out of Orion's hands."

"I know Jim," said Sirius. "What's done is done. It was complete hell these past years, but I think I got the better end of the deal really, considering. I just wish ..." he glanced at Peter. "If only it was as easy to stop hating as it is to start."

"These things take time Padfoot," Remus took Sirius's hand. "Let's just keep the two of you separate for now."

"So," James turned back to Fudge. "Will you please release Sirius Black &amp; acquit him of crimes his father actually did?"

"Oh the Daily Prophet's going to have a field day with this one," Fudge grumbled.

"How much are you putting in there?" James asked.

"Well simple really," answered Fudge. "Wrong Black. Orion not Sirius."

James ground his teeth together but said no more. Sirius watched him for a moment. "I think he means, are you going to plaster the rape for all to see?"

"Oh Sirius," James huffed. "You're too blunt you know."

"Yes well," Fudge stammered. "This is a rather delicate matter. Considering the nature of it, you will be spoken to personally &amp; you'll have most of the control of what will go into the papers concerning you. I assume you wish to press charges against Orion Black for all his crimes against you?"

"Whatever it takes to get Sirius &amp; Peter off the hook," James resigned himself to the fact that it would eventually go public. "Murder. Illegal use of Polyjuice. Impersonation. Use of Imperious."

Fudge hesitated a moment. "What of the rest of his crimes against you?" James didn't answer. "You say this started when you were sixteen? Then that is one crime right there. Sex with a minor. Forced at that. Another crime. Then he held you against your will for two years. Another charge. Plus two kinds of rape, himself &amp; involving others. Any one of these already earns him the Dementor's Kiss. Unlike muggle folk, our laws about rape are much more harsh since one can also harm with magic as well."

James ground his teeth. "I ... I haven't thought about that."

"You can also add torture," Fudge went on. "You showed me those scars."

"Those are from me," James said quietly. "I actually tried suicide in my sixth year. Didn't take but I continued to cut."

"So mental as well as physical torture," Fudge said. "Two more separate charges. Your crucifixion is on record at St. Mungo's. According to your father, Charlus Potter, it was Orion Black who did it; though, most didn't believe him."

"Us Blacks have a lot of money," Sirius muttered. "He paid to have any investigation shut down but I can attest to that event. I saw it happen. I saw the first attack to."

"I haven't ..." James stumbled back, looking shocked.

"Also it seems he nearly had his hands on you again," Fudge indicated James's swollen black cheek.

James put a hand over the bruise. He laughed out loud. "Oh this? No I fell down the stairs by the boat house actually. For once I get hurt by a stupid clumsy accident." He felt it was better to not point out that it was Sirius who had smacked him. Sirius was in enough trouble. "I only hope no one saw," He added, acting bashful &amp; even managed a bit of blush. Every Marauder could lie like the devil.

"Oh? Well if that's all it is then," Fudge wasn't sure if he believed this or not. It wouldn't be the first time a victim of abuse would deny things just so as not to cause more trouble.

"Jim," Sirius leaned forward. "We could nail him with the whole thing! It's no less than he deserves. I'll add Crucio to the charges. He used that on my brother &amp; I as punishment growing up. We could really bring that tyrant down!"

"Everything?" James gasped weakly.

"Everything," said Sirius. "He'll wish he never laid a finger on you." A moment of silence passed. Sirius reached out &amp; grabbed James by the hand to pull him close. He whispered in his ear, "Would you like to add Bella to that? She was there for the first time. She's already in Azkaban. I saw her."

"...Bella..." James felt weak. He had never thought to slam Orion Black with everything. He had thought he was alone with everyone dead. He turned back to Fudge. "We'll discuss that later today then."

"Alright," Fudge said.

"I'll have you escorted to his office by two this afternoon," Dumbledore said.

"Escort? So I am a prisoner then?"

"No, but you say Orion Black is nearby," Dumbledore said. "A man with that kind of mentality will never stop hunting his quarry. You need protection."

"From Orion? Is that even possible?" James gasped in one breath.

"Albus, I'll leave twelve Dementors here to guard Mr. Potter on his way out of the castle," Fudge said. "If Orion Black tries a Patronus on them, we'll know exactly where he is. He'd be foolish to approach." Dumbledore nodded his consent as Fudge turned back to James. "I'll have a councillor ready when you arrive."

"Oh," James shook his head. "No. That...th...not nec—"

"Jim, please," Sirius insisted.

"No, no," James shook his head. "I've been away from that man for ten years. I've had time to deal with it."

Sirius just shook his head as Fudge sighed. "Very well. In the meantime, we're going to have a hell of a time what with that stupid hippogriff that esca...hang on. Do any of you know about that?" Everyone shook their heads. Only Harry, Hermione, Sirius &amp; Dumbledore knew the truth of that one. "Oh well. Worth a try."

"I want to witness," James suddenly went on. "When Orion is caught &amp; given to the Dementors. I want the right of last words with him &amp; to witness."

Fudge nodded shortly. It was plain that he was horrified at James's request. "Of course. Naturally."

"Also, there are several things that ought not to leave this room," James continued. "If I see one word about Animagic ..." he let it hang.

Fudge glared at him. "Are you threatening me?"

"Yes," James declared. "With money. Blacks aren't the only rich snobs in town."

"Hey!"

"We are to remain unregistered &amp; no one else outside this room is supposed to know. Name your price. I have access to both the Potter &amp; Black vaults. I can triple your price with room to spare."

As Fudge pondered that, Harry said, "Dad, what do you mean? I've been into that vault a couple of times. While there is a good deal there, it isn't THAT much."

"You've been in your own personal vault that Lily &amp; I set up for you. It's so small a fraction of the main family vault that it's hardly worth mentioning," James cast his son a quick smile. "You'll get the key to the family vault when you come of age. We also have a stock of the Black vault. A large stock. Malfoy's to."

"Malfoy's?!" Harry gasped.

James laughed at him. "It's a very small stock, probably about the size of your own personal vault, but yes. They are distant family after all."

"We will discuss those terms at a later time," Fudge finally spoke, then looked at Dumbledore who stood up. "I think we should focus on catching Orion Black. He is responsible for several things, including the death of those in the street as well as Lily Evans Potter."

"Dora-Charlotte Potter as well," James suddenly added.

"Who's that?" Fudge asked.

James started. It seemed he didn't realise he had even spoken. He stumbled to Sirius &amp; knelt before him, putting his face in his lap. "Lily was pregnant again."

"What?" Sirius gasped. "Ah Jim!"

"I did a gender charm on her," James went on. "It was a girl. I named her after my parents." Harry felt himself shudder. He had a sister! He would never meet her thanks to Voldemort &amp; Orion.

"Jim, I can't begin to imagine what you're feeling right now," said Remus as James pulled away. "We need to find Orion Black. Charge him for everything he's done. He's the one who ought to go to the Dementors!" He stood up but promptly crashed to the floor.

"Remus," Sirius helped him up. "You should be in bed. You're so weak right now."

"We have to...to get…" Remus passed out.


	38. Chapter 38

**(38) The Flower's Shield**

Sirius glanced around as he heard knocking &amp; saw James standing in the doorway. They shared a long silent look. Sirius couldn't believe James was still alive, standing here before him after all these years.

James crossed his arms &amp; leaned on the door post. "How is he?"

Sirius glanced back at Remus lying in bed, sleeping. They were in the hospital since the wolf had collapsed. James stayed in the doorway, looking on. "He'll be ok," Sirius petted back the greying bangs from the scarred face.

"I can't even begin to imagine how it was for you," James said. "Being separated from him for twelve years. It's all my fault."

"Orion is not your fault," Sirius said.

"No, he isn't," James agreed. "But after escaping at last two years later, I really should have tried harder to find out the truth."

"Hey, you went after your son instead," Sirius shrugged. "I'd have done the same thing." He stood up, closed the curtains &amp; came to the door. "On the other hand, switching Bloodclaw &amp; Peter around &amp; using a slave crown...Jim that's very dark magic."

"I know," James sighed. "I had nothing &amp; no one. All that mattered to me was Harry &amp; in a sense, Peter. I did that so Orion wouldn't get his hands on him to."

"Now you have the power of the entire Ministry Of Magic behind you."

James moaned softly. "I hate it. I didn't want to think about it at all."

Sirius shook his head. "You think about it all the time. That's why these are here," He put a hand on James's lower arm. "Prongs, when I saw them upstairs, I nearly fainted. You have so much more than when I last saw you. So much!" James just shrugged. "You really should have a councilor on hand. Please take what Fudge gives you."

"It won't make a difference," James pulled away. "It won't undo anything."

"Oh Jim. I know it's hard going public with this," Sirius said. "That's what you really hate."

"Only to keep you safe," said James.

Sirius blinked a few times, feeling a few tears fall. "I know." He took James's hands into his own. "I know. But part of me wishes I still face Dementors. I hate seeing you hurt."

"Oh &amp; seeing you with Dementors won't hurt me?" James laughed derisively. "I took the road with less pain is all."

They stood silently for nearly ten minutes. "Once we get rid of Orion," Sirius suddenly added. "We can ...uh...well, switch the graves around."

"I've never gone to visit her," James admitted. "Not even once. I know Orion's watching the place. He cut me off, from everything &amp; everyone."

"Shh," Sirius hushed. "It's almost over &amp; you're no longer alone." He looked back at Remus as he fumbled with something in his pocket. He handed over a small vial. "Drink this. It will help clear …" Sirius hesitated, glancing at the bruise. "Well, that anyway," He lamely waved a hand at it. "I uh ...sorry."

James actually snorted as he downed the potion. "I'd be mad to if our places were reversed. It's the Black temper we both have. You have one hell of a punch!"

"I shouldn't have done it," Sirius defended. "I was no different than Orion."

"Technically, he back-handed me," James tried to console him, handing back the empty vial. "So it was different."

"Thanks," Sirius muttered, still acting like a hurt pathetic puppy. "Thanks for covering for me to."

"Padfoot," James began. "I know that's not how you meant it. You were just shocked is all. Forget it."

"I should have known you had a good reason," Sirius went on. "I over-reacted way too much."

"Well, it's the ..." James began &amp; Sirius helped him finish. "Black temper."

James stepped away from Sirius. "I promised Harry I'd see him before leaving. I'll see you at the meeting at the Ministry." He turned to leave. "Oh &amp; uh, try not to kill Peter before you leave." Sirius just scowled as James left to look for Harry.

Harry was lying on the grass as the warm sun shone down on him. Sirius, who had come to join him while Remus rested, was out in the open for the first time in twelve years. They were down by the lake &amp; Sirius finally confessed that he was the one who had sent the Firebolt using Crookshanks. They were soon joined by an Elk Stag that had come trotting in the shallows towards them. The Stag stopped short &amp; stared at them, ears forward. Sirius &amp; Harry stood up.

"You should wait for the Dementors," Sirius said, then rolled his eyes. "Wow, I can't believe I just said that."

"It'll be ok, Dad."

"Orion's time is at an end," Sirius added.

"Padfoot? Who are you talking to?"

Sirius &amp; Harry glanced around. There stood James, dressed in his Full Auror's black uniform with his cape shifting slightly in the breeze, on the stone steps leading down to the boathouse. Harry suddenly understood what James had meant about being dressed for battle...&amp; James was still fighting that war. Harry noticed that the black lump was nearly gone. Only a red streak where the cut had been was still there.

"Ah, ok. I thought you...uh," Sirius stammered.

James put a gloved hand to his neck. "Prongs has white on his throat." Then he indicated his left wrist. "Plus a white &amp; yellow ringlet over his front left hoof. Oh &amp; new feature, black stockings on his front legs from my arm bands."

"Right," Sirius blinked, turning back to the Stag still in the shallows. It lowered it's antlers as if to charge. "What do we do now?"

"Don't move a muscle," James hissed under breath as the Stag stampeded a few steps one way, then switched direction.

"We won't," Sirius put a hand on Harry. "We won't."

"And don't yell!"

"OK!" Sirius huffed, then yawned.

"Wait 'til I say go."

"Say what?" Sirius mumbled.

"Go," James rolled his eyes.

"YES!" Sirius took off with Harry close behind &amp; a moment later, so did the Stag charging after them.

"NO!" James wailed. He could only stand by &amp; watch as the enraged wild Stag began charging. "There goes the Stag."

"DA—OH MERDE!" Harry flipped right over, changing directions, screaming the French word for shit a few more times.

"There goes my fawn."

"JAMES DO SOMETHING!" Sirius was running wildly as the Stag came for him.

"There goes my Grim," James shook his head &amp; transformed just as the wild deer spotted him. Prongs stood on his hind legs &amp; ran forwards a few paces, crashing down antler against antler. There was horrifying clash that sent sleepy owls screaming into the air. The wild Stag took off. He didn't have over a thirty-point spread. James shifted back &amp; wobbled. "Owww!" He cracked his back. "I'm too old for this!" He rubbed his head. "YOU IDIOTS!"

"Sorry," Sirius panted as he came back. "I thought it was you."

James just rolled his eyes, then glared at Harry. "Mind your French!" Harry just scoffed.

"You two are going to be late if you don't get back to the castle," Remus called out to them as he slowly came down.

"Go back to bed," Sirius, James &amp; Harry ordered.

"I'm fine," Remus waved them away with one hand. "I can't sleep. Too excited right now. The worst of the pains are gone." He stretched out one hand, closing the fingers so that the knuckles cracked. "Besides, I had to give Ron &amp; Peter some space. Peter's explaining to him what you," Remus punched James in the chest. "did to him. I still can't believe it. I get why but, oh well, whatever now."

"Perhaps it's best if I stay down here," Sirius muttered.

"Careful," James said. "He can order you to talk to Peter, you know."

Sirius &amp; Remus shared a glance. "Uh, um, I'm not the Alpha any more. I'm the Omega."

"Yeah I don't need that kind of information," James glared.

"He means it," Sirius put in. "Remus hasn't been in control of this pack for a few months."

"So you took over then?"

"Um," Sirius blinked like an owl before going on. "No. I think I'll...uh I should definitely say no."

"So who's the leader?" James glanced between the two.

"I am." Everyone looked around at the new voice. Harry stood above them on the hill. "I'm your Alpha."

"Wait I'm confused," James began.

Sirius explained &amp; James just stared at Harry the whole time. His son? The Alpha. Harry came down the hill &amp; nodded towards Remus "You tamed him well. He held back from killing me."

Everyone stared at Harry. James forced himself to remember how to breathe. "You?" James spluttered. The next moment, a stag braying his arse off was rolling around on the ground. James soon reappeared, wrapping both arms around his sides. "I haven't laughed so hard in a long time! I needed that."

"It's about time for you two to leave," Remus hinted. "The twelve Dementors are waiting by the Stone Circle to escort you into Hogsmeade so you can apparate. Sirius will leave after the Dementors are gone. It's best if they don't stay around him any more."

"Why are you going?" Harry asked.

"I have to be officially acquitted," Sirius said. "Plus I have my own charges against my father to press. He was often drunk. Very abusive father." He scoffed. "In more ways then one." Then he pulled Harry aside &amp; whispered. "I also have to find a place to stash that hippogriff for Hagrid until he sorts things out."

"Hagrid will be glad for your help," Harry said as they turned back to Remus &amp; James.

"Harry, I don't know how you did it, but thanks for getting me out of there last night," Sirius began.

"About last night Harry," Remus cut in. "I think I might be going a little crazy. It seems like I saw you in two places at once. Moony demands to know."

"Don't be silly Moony," Harry fought hard to keep his face straight. "How can anyone be in two places at once?"

"Well if they're messing with time after watching too many Star Trek shows," Remus said.

"I never watched Star Trek."

"Blasphemous," Remus grumbled.

Harry &amp; Sirius shared a look. "Let's go," Sirius said, leading Harry up the hill towards the castle. James &amp; Remus followed behind &amp; were soon in an argument over Trek versus Wars. Suddenly, Sirius &amp; Harry whirled around as there was a ferocious hiss &amp; yelping as Remus &amp; James both tumbled heads over heels back down the hill. Sirius burst out laughing. "Did you use the Force, Jim? Or was it Vulcan power?"

James &amp; Remus shared a glance, then both made rude hand signs. "Take that!"

"Yeah, literally!" Sirius shot back, still laughing. "From both of you." He rolled around, roaring as Harry slammed his eyes shut &amp; shook his head.

Remus hissed again, glaring at James who had already started to climb up. "Would you like to kill him or should I?"

"Well you know what they say," James actually winked. "First come. First serve!" Remus glared gold.

"OK THAT IS IT!" Harry put his hands up &amp; walked hurriedly away. "I'm done. I'm going away now. Sweet Merlin, someone please tell me I'm adopted. PLEASE!"

Sirius was still rolling around, crying. It was with great effort that Harry refrained from hurting him on his way by. Remus however, kicked Sirius hard, then put a hand down to haul him up. James left the pair to sort it out as he took off after Harry. He found the boy sitting on a log at the far end of the covered bridge leading towards the Stone Circle. Even from here, the chill of the waiting Dementors slowly seeped through the air.

James scratched the left side of his head as he stood beside Harry. "You ok?" He had a big stupid grin on his face that Harry desperately wanted to smack off.

"I'm fine," Harry scowled.

James sighed, staring down the bridge towards the Dementors. "I don't regret that year with him."

"That's fine. That isn't the issue," Harry said. "I've just had it up to here," he put a hand over his head. "With your double meanings is all. That book of yours is enough for a while."

There was a long silence as James scratched his head again. "Harry—"

"Oh that reminds me," Harry shot James a nasty look. "Thanks for ruining half the classes in Hogwarts."

"What do you mean?"

Harry glared at him. "Flitwick with the dance. Remus &amp; don't even get me started on McGonagall's firm breasts."

"Ohhhh that!" James grinned sheepishly.

"Yes, that!" Harry moaned. "Especially McGonagall." James doubled over laughing, hands on knees. "I hate you."

"Good," James gasped. "Means I'm doing something right!" Harry just continued to glare. When James had finally composed himself, he suddenly went somber. "Harry, promise me you'll burn it. Sirius is as good as free now. That diary is no longer needed."

"Yeah, I'll get rid of it."

"Thanks," said James. "I never wanted anyone else to know, least of all you. But I guess there's no choice now."

"It'll work out," Harry said. "You're right. Orion won't leave you alone. He'll only get what he deserves."

"If only I had actually killed him," James hesitated before adding. "Your mother might be with us now if I had." He began scratching vigorously.

"Velveting out?" Harry asked.

"Not quite," James grumbled. "Been through it already this year but my horns have so many points now. There's this one clump that's wedged between three points that I can't reach. I've tried every size of tree but...I, uh..." He stared at Harry for a long moment. Harry swallowed dryly, feeling that he was about to do something ridiculous. James pulled out his wand &amp; flicked it into a knife blade. He held each end in front of him &amp; made a scraping motion like a carpenter planing wood. "You can do that. Just have to knock it out. You can't miss it. The thing's all bloody &amp; red. Don't worry about hurting me. It itches too much for Prongs to care. Just get it off please?" He handed over the wand &amp; stood up. Prongs was soon standing before Harry.

"You've got to be joking!" Harry gaped at him. Prongs swung his big head back &amp; forth, then knelt down with the left antler facing Harry. Sure enough, an oozing mass of velvet clung desperately in the center of three points. "This is very gross!" Prongs glared at him with one eye, bleating. Harry groaned. Prongs shook his head, trying to get the itching sensation off. Harry stabbed with the blade &amp; scraped. The velvet mass suddenly went flying.

"Thank you," James breathed a moment later. He took back his wand. "Oh that feels so much better."

"Don't mention it," Harry shook his head, hoping he'd never have to do that again.

"I honestly don't know what I'm going to do when I reach eighty or some ridiculous age like that," James went on. "I'm looking into a potion or something to stop the velvet. I'm getting too many points to rub them off properly now."

"Can you do that? Stop a natural process?"

"Muggle women have birth control pills," James shrugged. "Can't be that hard." Harry made a face. They had somehow gotten back to a subject that could easily swing back into sex. As predicted, James suddenly asked. "Hey, you have a girlfriend yet?"

"No," Harry instantly thought of Cho Chang for some stupid reason.

"Sorry. Boyfriend then?"

Harry glared. "From you!"

"Well that red-headed fellow you hang out with seems like a nice guy."

"James Prongs Potter, we are not having this conversation right now, ok?"

"Ooo!" James winked. "Not even a 'Dad' there. Ok I'll shut up."

"Please do."

James sat down on a large boulder next to Harry. "You know I'll be fine with whoever you end up with ok? In our world, it doesn't matter who you love, just the type of blood for most people. But not even that bothers me."

Harry half-smiled. "Yeah, I know Dad."

"Just do try to not pick up any werewolves," James grinned. "One moon mutt is demanding enough."

"Sure thing," Harry snickered, knowing James was just being stupid. But then Harry thought of something. "Actually I probably shouldn't date any wolves. It might mess with Remus, what with territories &amp; ranks."

"Hmm perhaps," James shrugged. "By the way, Dumbledore wants to talk to you before getting on the train tomorrow morning," He went on, sliding off the rock. They began to make their way across the bridge. Harry nodded as he shivered suddenly. He put a hand to his wand. James stopped walking. "They won't hurt us. I heard about that Patronus you did. Only Remus could have taught you something like that."

"I almost didn't get the lessons," Harry said.

"I'm glad you did," said James. "It would have destroyed me if they had gotten to both you &amp; Sirius. I'm curious though, how ever did you manage it? Apparently it came to you from across the lake?"

"Um yeah," Harry stammered. "It bounded around a bit."

James raised a brow. "Moony isn't the only one who saw double last night. Prongs did to. You were throwing rocks at Moony, which by the way was really stupid, (Harry just rolled his eyes.) &amp; you were with Hermione &amp; Buckbeak in the forest. You were messing with time, weren't you?"

Harry expected to be in trouble, but James was actually grinning at him. "Hermione took on too many classes …"

"Brilliant," James laughed. "You thought it was me? I would have gone to help of course, if I had known they'd attack you, but I was already long gone with Moony before he ate you."

"It's been an interesting night," Harry actually yawned a bit. "More than twenty four hours in a day."

They heard someone else coming across the bridge. Sirius stopped a few feet away from them, staring past towards the Dementors. He would go no further until they were gone. "Remus is packing up. He'll meet us in London later."

"Packing up?" Harry asked.

"Yeah," Sirius nodded. "We'll be going back to Cherbourg in a few days for a bit."

"Where's that?" asked Harry.

"In France," answered James. "It's the last port the Titanic parked in before heading out to disaster."

Sirius tried not to roll his eyes. "Don't worry Harry, we'll be back very soon."

"You have twelve years to catch up on," James smiled a moment before turning towards the Dementors. He marched resolutely towards them.

Harry felt cold, not from the beasts, but from watching his father enter a swarm of them. Sirius put a hand on his shoulder. "He'll be alright. If there is one man on this Earth that won't be affected by those things, it's Jim. Even I would rather not be around them. I've said my goodbyes ages ago." He managed a weak laugh.

They watched the swarm move towards Hogsmeade even though James had disappeared into their center &amp; was not seen again. Sirius soon followed at a distance as Harry finally returned to the castle. He went straight to Lupin's office. The moment he walked into the room, Harry knew something was wrong. Lupin wasn't just packing up for a much-needed get-away romantic weekend with his mate, he was destroying things in the fire &amp; clearing out the desk.

"**You've been sacked!"**

"**No, resigned actually."**

"**Why?"**

"Snape's in a real mood," Lupin said. "He was already wounded from having Sirius get away from him again. But when he heard that Jim is still alive, he went crazy. Not long after that, **someone let slip the nature of my condition. By this time tomorrow the owls will be arriving. Parents won't want ...someone like me teaching their children. Let's just say I'm used to it."**

Harry stared at him. Lupin threw a few papers in the fire. "But Moony didn't attack me."

"You're lucky he didn't," said Lupin. "You're the only pup born into this pack. You're Jim's son. Those are the only reasons. He was quite mad at you a while ago. I nearly lost all control of him."

"But you didn't," Harry repeated. "I'm fine."

"It could have easily turned a whole lot worse," Lupin sighed tiredly as he put a few books away. He smiled apologetically at Harry. **"I've looked worse, believe me." **He looked down &amp; laughed."Wormtail, you've gotten lazy over the years." He picked up a large rat &amp; put it aside.

The rat jumped to the floor &amp; Peter appeared. "I wonder who's fault that is?"

"You can't stay mad at Jim forever," Remus tried.

"Watch me," Peter retorted. "Sirius is doing it to me. Jim's fault. Again."

"I'll work on Sirius," Remus gave up.

"You do that."

"What will you do then?" Harry asked.

Peter glanced at him, then turned to Remus. "Am I allowed to talk to him or what?"

Remus gave him a long hard look. "Peter ..."

"The last time I did that, Sirius nearly bit my head off."

"Peter, please try to understand, we thought you had destroyed us. Anyway, I'm not Sirius," Remus went on. "To be honest, I was quite appalled at what he told me. I thought you dead at his hands all these years. He thought you betrayed us. I had trouble believing that. You were usually off on your own. The quiet one. Shy &amp; timid, just like most rats. I should have known something was amiss when Zephyra came out of nowhere &amp; took an interest in you. Why do you think I gave up the Alpha rank without a fuss?"

Both Peter &amp; Harry scoffed loudly. Peter said, "That isn't what I saw."

"What, you saw? How?" Remus asked.

"I was ordered to tail Harry wherever he went, remember?" Peter pointed up above their heads. "I was on those beams up there, looking down as Harry ripped the Alpha rank from you. It was so terrifying to watch," he went on. "That I nearly broke through the spells just to drop on you &amp; keep you away from Harry. Once that Map came out though, I had to make a run for it, no thanks to you &amp; Sirius."

Remus pouted like a reproachful dog getting scolded. "I've made such a mess of everything. Nearly killed my own mate. Took part in trying to kill you. Moony nearly lost it on Harry. I ought to be banished really."

Peter actually laughed. "That would confuse the hell out of everyone! The whole point of the Marauders is—"

Harry, Remus &amp; Peter said at the same time, "Protect the werewolf."

"Yes, I know," Remus said. "I never asked for any one to do that."

Peter finally addressed Harry. "I'm leaving. Bloodclaw is very messed up from being forced out &amp; stuck taking over my entire life. My Spirit &amp; I are no longer on equal terms. I'm going to find others from the Algonquin tribe to see if we can fix him. I'd rather not do a Tribal Summons if I don't have to."

There was a clatter as Remus let a suitcase fall open to the floor. Peter &amp; Harry stared at him. "Ohh!" Remus seemed to have discovered something. "Oh no no no no!" He put his hands to his forehead, a humourless smile spreading over his lips. "No ...no. Not poss…no."

"Uh ... Moony?" Peter shared a look with Harry.

Remus fell hard into his chair. "Peter, I think you should make amends with Jim."

"Maybe some day."

"No," Remus said. "Now."

"Why?"

"It was Jim. Not Sirius. Back in our sixth year. Jim was the one who did the Tribal Summons."

Harry made sure his mouth was clamped shut. The less he spoke of that diary, the better. But Remus was spot on at last. Peter just glared at the wolf. "How do you figure? Sirius is the stupid one for such things."

"Sirius wasn't ...wasn't raped." An awful silence followed those words.

"You think Orion messed up Swift Horn?" Peter finally asked.

"Oh I'm positive," Remus answered. "Ever since then, Jim's powers have never been the same. You saw him up in that office. He needs neither wand or word for anything even though he never got the extra training. He said Voldemort himself ought to fear him. I believe it. Peter, he had no fear when he said that. I bet you anything, Swift Horn tried to rip from Jim after it happened &amp; Jim did the Summons to try fixing him."

Harry inched slowly to the door. Remus had guessed everything correctly, but Harry would rather not talk about it more. Peter folded his arms. "Orion ruined everything. I hope to Merlin he gets caught for what he did! I wouldn't wish his abuse on my worst enemy, which incidentally I feel is James at the moment. I hate what happened to him."

"We all do," Remus said quietly. "You should talk to him. I think he may know a thing or two about a damaged Spirit."

"There's too much bad blood between Jim, Sirius &amp; I," Peter said. "I'm going to my tribal ancestors first. Don't give me the 'pathetic puppy' look!"

Remus stood up &amp; began pacing. "My entire pack is falling apart again. This time for real. Everyone hates everyone else. We're all going our separate ways. Again."

"I don't hate you," Peter said. "You're the only one I can get along with really. I can't even be around Harry without Sirius getting his hackles up &amp; I can never look Jim in the eye again after what he did to me. Really Remus, out of the five of us, you &amp; Lily were my real friends. Not Jim or Sirius. You two were right in the Shack about one thing. I do tend to follow the toughest crowd. But I think I learned that by accident. You're the one who rescued me out of the tree in our first year when that gang was picking on me. You were a friend to me first before anyone else, even Lily. You just happened to be friends with those three as well."

Remus laughed dryly. "Lily didn't get along with James at all at first &amp; Sirius was always picking on her. I was the only one she was nice to until you joined our ranks."

"The three of us made up our own little gang," added Peter.

"Sirius &amp; Jim helped you with your Animagic," Remus pointed out.

"They did that for you, not for being my friends," Peter said. "Honestly, if you weren't the werewolf, I probably never would have gotten involved with Tribal Power."

"So stay then," Remus tried not to beg. "For me."

"Mhm," Peter shook his head. "But I'll come back for you." Eyes gold, Remus lowered his head &amp; whined. Peter sighed. "Just be glad that the biggest bully, as you &amp; Sirius put it, is on our side. Can you imagine the horrors our kind would suffer if James had gone Dark?"

Remus stared at him. Harry felt cold. He hated thinking of it, but Peter was right. James Potter could make a worse Dark Lord than Voldemort. Harry remembered against his will how he was actually afraid of James when he had a sorcery seizure. It all came back to Orion. Always Orion.

Peter petted Remus's head, then offered a piece of chocolate. "Goodbye, old fleabag. It isn't forever." He turned &amp; marched past Harry. Remus whined under breath as the door closed behind Peter with a reverberating thud, ringing in the empty hall of the classroom.

Remus eventually went back to his desk. "Oh Harry?" he began. **"As I am no longer your teacher, I have no problem giving this back to you. Mischief managed!" **The Map spread over the desk, wiped itself clean &amp; folded up. Remus repacked the fallen suitcase with a flick of his wand as Dumbledore came in to announce that the carriage to Hogsmeade was ready. Remus tucked an envelope under his cloak, then gave Harry's hair a pat. "Don't worry. I'll be seeing you again quite soon, I'm sure." At that, he left just as suddenly as Peter had, leaving Harry alone with Dumbledore.

Dumbledore smiled at Harry before saying, "Quite the turn of events."

"Yeah," Harry still couldn't believe it. He was suddenly part of a wolf pack, found a Godfather he never knew about; but most importantly, his real father was still alive.

"While I am glad that your father is still with us, I am quite sorry to know why he is," Dumbledore went on. "Orion Black was never a nice person. I knew he had upset your father somehow when Orion happened to visit his younger son one day many years ago."

Harry caught Dumbledore's eye &amp; in that moment, he knew. He didn't know how Dumbledore managed it, but Harry knew that Dumbledore had known what had truly happened to his father for a while, even before the meeting in his office. "I'm glad the entire Ministry will be looking for him now."

"Yes," Dumbledore agreed. "Then the real work begins, what with charging him &amp; all. Most importantly, what happens to you though."

"Peter &amp; Bloodclaw don't like what my Dad did to him," Harry said. "I'd rather it didn't happen either, but Dad was just trying to keep us both out of Orion's hands."

"Such things take time," said Dumbledore. "But I mean you, personally. Harry, your father may be alive but ..." He stopped for several minutes &amp; then, he told him. Harry was sitting in Lupin's chair, glowering by the time Dumbledore had finished. "I didn't want to tell you right away. Too young. I thought I had time. But your father shares no blood with Lily &amp; neither does Sirius. Until you're seventeen, you have to stay with your Aunt. I've already spoken to James about it. He agrees. Whatever protection you can have against Orion, the better. That man is still at large right now."

"Dad said more than once that Petunia's a...well... bitch."

Dumbledore stared at him. "All four Marauders have varying degrees of a mean streak in them, including Remus &amp; I'm not referring to his Lycan symbiont either. Your aunt has taken you in &amp; taken care of you all these years. She may be ...a bit grudging...about it, but at least she isn't Orion Black."

"I guess not," Harry muttered.

Dumbledore hesitated a moment. "What of your Uncle &amp; cousin? Have you had certain problems with either of them?"

"No," Harry shook his head. "They would never try that on me. They're afraid of my powers. But even if they weren't, I don't see either Dudley or Uncle Vernon behaving like that at all."

"Just to be safe, if that ever changes, of course we'll have no choice but to remove you from such an environment but in the meantime, I expect you will continue to show your aunt the same respect as before until hopefully your seventeenth birthday," Dumbledore went on. "Never mind what your father says."

"Will I at least see my father or Sirius?"

"Of course, eventually," Dumbledore said. "Both will be allowed full visitation rights, Remus to. There's no law against that. But they'll focus on bringing Orion in first, then they're free to see you any time without leading him to you."

"That could take years."

"Actually, Orion should be apprehended rather soon," said Dumbledore. "You see, James had never gone after him before. He simply led Orion around, keeping him away from you. But now with his cousin &amp; friends with him again, they'll have Orion cornered in no time. Orion's weakness is Sirius &amp; he uses James to get at Sirius in any way he can."

Harry took the Map. "I better go pack."

"Yes that would be a good idea," said Dumbledore. "Goodnight."

The first thing Harry saw when he entered the dorms, was Hermione sitting on an armchair with her legs tucked under her. She was reading a book. Harry felt a tremor go through him as he moved towards her. He wondered how much he could say right now outside the promise between him &amp; Peter. Of course, soon as the Daily Prophet showing that story would come out, it would no longer matter, but he felt he had to prepare her, Ron to, for it.

"Hermione?"

"Harry," She glanced up at him. "What's wrong?"

"Where's Ron?"

"Right here," Ron said behind him. "Peter spoke to me but he couldn't explain too much about what happened. He said something happened with your dad but he can't say what but it will be out soon."

Harry bit his lip for a moment. "Could you both come with me? We need to talk." He brought them down the hall &amp; into the tiny room behind the tapestry. "I'm not sure how much I can say now," He quickly explained the Wizard Promise. "Something happened to Dad, involvi—well, can't say much. Something ...um…" Damn the spell! Harry thought wildly. "Something ...not right." He stopped &amp; could say no more.

Hermione waited a bit. "What? Or is it the bond?"

"Yeah," Harry eyed Ron. An idea was coming to him &amp; so far it seemed to by-pass Peter's spell. He couldn't say anything, but he could hint. He stepped close to Ron. "Something ...not right." Suddenly, he had one hand on Ron's hip, then quickly moved down &amp; over.

"Wh..HEY! WHOA!" Ron leaped aside. "What are you doing?!"

"Something not right," Harry tried again. He stared helplessly at Ron. "I'm sorry, but I can't say more. But does that give you a clue?"

"You like blokes? It's cool with me, but I prefer girls," Ron made sure to stay away from Harry.

"Oh, wrong clue," Harry sighed exasperatedly. "I don't think I like guys &amp; there is nothing wrong with liking a guy. I said, something not right, so it isn't that. It was about my Dad."

"Harry," Hermione gasped. Harry turned to her. She got it. She understood. "Are you saying ...Harry. Was your father…?"

"I'm not at liberty to say. I can say that several times," Harry shrugged. "Yeah several times." He had twisted it but Hermione understood.

"Ohh!" Hermione gasped, clasping both hands to her face.

"What?" Ron asked. "What's going on?"

In one breath, Hermione answered. "Harry's Dad was raped!" Ron gaped at her. "More than once!" She finished as Harry looked away towards the ceiling. It wasn't his problem they were figuring it out on their own. The bond with Peter could do nothing about actions. It was a simple yet infuriating charm. He really had to focus hard to get the point across. As they had only guessed at it, the charm still didn't lift. Harry wished he could talk to his two best friends openly but he just couldn't right now.

"Ra—Harry!" Ron turned to him. "By who? Can you at least say that? BY WHO?" Ron was furious.

"Uhh," Harry focused on the answer. "I'll try."

"Orion," Hermione guessed &amp; Harry looked up at the ceiling again. "You mentioned that name in the Shack. Who is that?"

That was easy. It had nothing to do with any Wizard's Promise. "Sirius's dad."

"OH MY GOD!" Hermione exclaimed, once more having both hands on her face. Ron slid down the wall &amp; sat on the floor. Hermione was crying. "Harry, how long have you known?"

Harry looked at the back of the tapestry. "I've known Remus was a werewolf since before Christmas. I've known a lot of things since before then."

"Oh Harry!" Hermione gasped. "Is it when you had that really bad headache?"

"Yeah."

"No wonder you didn't go to the hospital wing," Ron said. "It wasn't the type anyone could fix."

"Nope," Harry shook his head. "Ron, sorry about the grab. I was trying to work around this Wizard's Promise thing."

"Yeah yeah, I get it," Ron waved it away with one hand. "Just... never mention it again."

"Ok. Anyway, I'll be able to speak about it better once it all comes out," Harry said. "Good night." He ducked under the tapestry &amp; headed for bed.

Harry sat on his bed, the Cloak lying next to his pillow, Hedwig perched on the window sill &amp; his half-packed trunk open nearby on the floor. He had scooped up most of his things in one big hug &amp; had just dropped everything in the trunk. The photo album had managed to come out on top &amp; now Harry opened it for the first time in a few months since he &amp; Lupin had started hiding Sirius in the castle.

He flipped through the pages. The photos remained silent. Harry soon came to the one with a cat-scratched James but Sirius was there as well. They both stared at him anxiously. Harry sighed. "Sirius." James hesitated so long that Harry was about to order him out again, but he finally left. Those in the photo album had gone a while without updates &amp; were now fearing the worst. Harry lifted the picture, trapping Sirius in it, then put the album as far away as possible. He put the picture on his bed, then barricaded the door before anyone could walk in or hear him.

"Took you long enough," Sirius snapped the moment Harry sat down on the bed again. "We're going crazy here &amp; James? Do you have any idea how this is effecting him? What's going on?"

"Oh. A lot."

"I realise it's end of term," Sirius muttered. "But still." He scowled at Harry for a moment. "So ...did it ...did it happen then? Is my soul gone?"

"You're fine," Harry said slowly.

"But?"

Harry finally explained the end of the diary &amp; the plan about switching the secret keepers. "All this time, your target was Wormtail."

"Peter?" Sirius gasped. "Are you asking me to believe it was PETER?"

"Yes &amp; no," said Harry. "See that was the plan. To switch you guys around."

"Sounds like something I'd come up with."

"But then things happened that you didn't know until a few hours ago," Harry went on. "You were going after Peter who was posing as Ron's rat &amp; you nearly got him."

"So what happened?"

"Peter never became our guardian either," Harry said. "He was knocked out before being able to do anything. Someone else took over."

Sirius waited but Harry had fallen silent. "Who? Dammit boy! Who betrayed you?"

Harry glanced out the window. "Dad's still alive."

"WHAT?"

"He showed up yesterday."

"…Harry..." Sirius looked half ready to laugh &amp; half ready to cry. "H-how?"

Harry took a long time in answering. "It's uh well, Sirius. It was Orion that betrayed us."

"Harry," Sirius glared. "What's gotten into you? Why make up this story?"

"I'm not."

"Harry," Sirius tried again. "Jim murdered Orion back in our sixth term. I watched him do it!"

"Nope, he missed."

"Stop it. Stop it! Harry! Just knock it off right now." Sirius huffed before adding. "If you're going to be like this, forget it. Put me back in the album. NOW!"

Harry stared at him. "Regulus was on the Pitch the night you tried to kill Orion. He rescued him." Sirius just stared &amp; finally Harry was able to explain. By the end, Sirius had collapsed on the bed, staring at the floor. "I have no idea what to say to anyone else in that album. Perhaps you can handle it."

"Two more years? Harry! How am I supposed to tell Jim that? He'd rather be dead!"

"I know. I'm sorry but that's how it is."

Sirius lay down, burying his face in the pillow. "Don't put me back right now. I need to think."

"Alright," Harry agreed. He suddenly came up with a plan. "What if I keep you out of the album until Orion is caught?"

"Caught?" Sirius looked up from the pillow.

"Well there was talk of capturing him &amp; Dementors," Harry said. "Dad asked to witness the Kiss to. Let's wait until it happens, then at least you'll have some good news to say as well."

"Jim wants to witness?" Sirius gasped. "Ohh he must be messed up!" He put his head in his hands. "My poor 'deer' one." He soon looked up at Harry &amp; nodded.

Harry got up &amp; pushed the photo album to the bottom of his trunk. Then he put the picture into a pouch along the inside of the trunk for now. Next, he picked up the Cloak. "What are you?" He stared at it for a long time before dropping it on top &amp; closing the trunk. He released the door &amp; got in to bed at last, but he didn't sleep well at all that night.

* * *

_AN: Ok first off, I was trying to reload old chapters that have been corrected. Hit the wrong button. It's happened before actually LOL It will happen again I am sure as I am always editing/correcting. I have a rule that if I found 3 or more mistakes, the chapter gets a make over._

_Anyway, ripped off Top Gear (British) &amp; Homeward Bound lines for this one. LOL Funny fact, the Top Gear line is directed at Warwick Davis, Harry Potter connection LOL_


	39. Chapter 39

**(39) A New Auror**

"Are you sure this is your final statements on these matters?"

"Yes."

"You are aware that the report you have entered will go into the next issue of the Daily Prophet?"

"Yes."

There was a moment of silence as Fudge &amp; other officials gathered up a few papers. "Very well...Mr. Potter," Fudge sighed. "That is that." He looked over the two men sitting before him, waiting. He stepped down from his seat &amp; handed over an envelope to the one with greying black hair. "First on behalf of the entire Ministry, I extend our apologies for the trouble caused you these past twelve years. These are your release papers, acquitting you of all crimes."

"It's about time," Sirius muttered at last, having not spoken much for the better part of two hours since James had made the majority of the report with Sirius adding on what Orion had done with both his sons at home. He took the envelope. They shared a dark look before Fudge turned to James.

"As for you, we are all truly appalled by what happened to you as well," Fudge began. "Every last Auror &amp; half the Dementors are out there looking for Orion Black right now. By this time tomorrow, everyone will be on high alert as per your permission to post the story. Now I must ask," he went on. "Are you sure you do not wish to have a councilor? This Ministry provides some of the finest."

"This Ministry wrongfully imprisoned my best friend &amp; cousin without even a trial as was his right," James snarled. The flames in the torches flickered. Sirius put a hand on James's shoulder. "I got what I wanted from you." James pointed at the envelope in Sirius's hand. "So long as I get my rights, seeing as this Ministry is quite big on rights, it will be therapeutic enough to watch the demise of that man. Forget me &amp; you'll regret it!" At that, he turned to leave.

"One more thing."

"What?" James hissed. A torched popped &amp; flickered out of existence.

"Mr. Black here also has his Auror status reinstated," Fudge tried not to wince. "Would he like to join the hunt for his father?"

Sirius was about to speak but James cut across him. "Am I not an Auror as well?"

Fudge stared at him. "It may not be wise to send you out."

"It would be even less wise to leave me behind," James glared.

"We did not think—"

"No you didn't!"

"We thought it be—"

"You just said you didn't think at all!"

"Do you really want to go after a man who has hurt you so badly? Or would you not rather a break from him?"

"I will not rest until that man is making love to a Dementor!" James declared. "Don't you dare screw me over like what you did to Sirius! I'm going after Orion with or without your permission!"

"ALRIGHT!" Fudge gave up as yet another torch went spinning into the farthest wall.

"Jim," Sirius put both hands on James.

"Good," James retorted. "Permission means I'll get paid." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Report to the Auror's office," Fudge sent them away. "Both of you!"

They left the court room &amp; took the lift back up to the main floors. Neither spoke as they were heading down the long hall to the very familiar office. Sirius suddenly grabbed James by the hand &amp; dragged him into a small empty office with the name Weasley on the desk &amp; closed the door. He pulled James close to him.

They stayed like that for several minutes. Sirius rubbed James's back, calming him enough to let his powers settle into his veins once more. James sighed &amp; slowly stopped shaking. Sirius was alive, free &amp; safe by his side. That was all that mattered.

They entered the Head Auror's office to find it empty. It was a large room, nearly twice the size of Dumbledore's office back at Hogwarts. Sirius &amp; James looked around. It hadn't changed much apart from wanted posters everywhere. There were several empty areas were Sirius had been that would soon be filled with Orion.

The door opened &amp; a young red haired witch came in. James, who had been inspecting the assortment of quills on the desk, accidently broke an Eagle feather quill as he clumsily tried to put it back. The red hair had opened a flood-gate of memories. But her eyes were violet.

"Mr. Sirius Black?" the witch asked. Sirius stood up from the armchair he had been lounging on. She passed him another envelope &amp; left rather quickly.

James cast Sirius a sympathising look as Sirius opened the envelope. "Now what am I charged with?"

"If it says 'Prat' or 'Idiot' or something like that, I can't help you."

Sirius flipped him with his free hand while scanning the letter. "Oh, ok. Not bad. Property stuff." He lowered the letter. "Since Orion had been considered dead all these years &amp; is now sentenced to a Dementor's Kiss, I'm the only full Black standing. I've just been informed of being the sole heir to the entire Black estate. The gold in my vault has tripled, if not more. Like I need it. I was rich enough on my own."

"Better be after getting Harry that Firebolt," James said. "One point five million Galleons."

"Means nothing to me," Sirius said.

"Thanks for getting him that."

"I actually did it for you," said Sirius. "The Firebolt is made by the Lamborghini. You used to have the latest model of our time."

James closed his eyes &amp; leaned on the desk. "You were still thinking I was dead at the time."

"Yeah."

"I was on my way," James looked away to a stand with a book on it by the window. He went to it. "I had to dodge Orion a few times which is why it took so long. I only arrived just before we all were together again in the Shrieking Shack."

"I can't believe this whole mess is finally coming to an end," Sirius made himself comfortable in the chair by the desk, found some loose parchment &amp; began writing on it.

"I hope so," James flipped through the book. "I'm quite tired, Padfoot."

Sirius paused in his writing. "I'm never letting you out of my sight again. I'll make sure you can rest."

James watched him for a moment. "Who're you writing to?"

"Harry," Sirius said. "The train's leaving Hogwarts tomorrow. I'm letting him know about Buckbeak."

"You found a place for that pigeon yet?"

Sirius glared. "Call him that to his face. I d—"

"DON'T! I take it back. Gees."

Sirius went back to writing. "I hate that he can't stay with any of us right now."

"At least Orion can't get to him," James pulled a paper from his pocket &amp; raised his hand. The paper sailed to Sirius on a power bolt. "By the way, Dumbledore gave this to me before I left, but I think you should sign it instead. It's for Harry."

"What is it?" Sirius took it. "Oh, his Hogsmeade form."

"I'd rather your name on it," James went on. "The less traces that man has to my son the better."

"I'll sign it," Sirius nodded. "I can send it along with this." He folded up the letter &amp; form together &amp; put it into an envelope, then into his pocket. "I just need to find an owl. I'm thinking of getting one actually so Ron can have it. I mean, it's my fault he doesn't have a pet any more. Didn't turn out how I planned though."

"Sirius," James warned. "Let it go."

"You do know how lucky you are to not go to Azkaban right?" Sirius all but snapped. "Slave crown. Reversing Spirit &amp; human. Fudge &amp; the entire Wizengamot took pity on you for what happened but ordinarily, you would probably be slated for a Kiss for what you did!"

"It's because it wouldn't work that they didn't bother," James shot back. "Orion destroyed my soul. No Dementor can ever get it!"

"Prongs."

"Shut up, just stop it!" James put a hand up. "I'm tired of talking about it. Orion ruined everything. The only things keeping me going are my son &amp; bringing that man down. That's it."

"Fine," Sirius muttered, stung. Hadn't he kept James going since they were sixteen? Of course things would have to be different now as Sirius would never betray his precious Lycan for anything, but he had every intention of keeping a close eye on James.

James stared at him. "You have Remus."

"Doesn't mean I can't take care of you," Sirius said. "Remus would probably help since he knows. You should come with us to Cherbourg."

"I'm going after Orion."

"So am I."

"Besides," James sighed heavily. "You &amp; Moony have been separated for over a decade. You have a lot to make up for."

"We do," Sirius agreed with a grin.

James shook his head &amp; turned back to the book. He flipped through it some more. He suddenly let out a yelp of surprise. "Padfoot, come here. Look at this."

Sirius came over &amp; looked at the book. It was a list of Aurors. James was in the M section. Sirius scanned through it. "Moody, 'Mad Eye' Alastor. He's still going?"

"No, he's listed as retired but," James laughed. "That name is public."

"Blimey," Sirius stared at the name. "That crazy old codg—OW!" He clapped both hands over his arse.

"Watch what you say, sonny!" Mad Eye Moody himself had just entered the room. James stood close to Sirius, taking his hand. "Oh yes, yes. Wrongfully accused &amp; now all out &amp; free. Well boo hoo. Sorry to break up the family reunion, but we're not paying you to stand around reminiscing!"

"You're retired," James grumbled.

"I'm on temporary return," Moody answered. "This is a huge case. The sooner we apprehend that man the better." He handed them each a scroll. "Your orders to start your own search for Orion Black." With a flick of his wand, wanted posters with Orion Black flew out of a drawer &amp; went up in the empty spaces. "I remember you two brats! Come to harasses me again have you? Well let's see if a decade of idleness has addled your brains. Now get out there or get a pay cut! Take your pick!"

Grinning sheepishly, Sirius &amp; James edged for the door. "Nice meeting you again." Sirius opened the door &amp; the two spilled out. They began running away.

"REMEMBER!" Moody appeared in the hall &amp; sent a bolt of magic at them. "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" Sirius &amp; James rounded the corner barely in time.

"UGH!" James clasped his ribs after five minutes of running all through the Ministry of Magic. They were now by the great fountain. "Can you believe that guy is still alive?"

"He was part of the group that caught me &amp; tossed me into Azkaban," Sirius complained, also gasping in painful breaths. "Not even an apology from him or anything."

"Mad Eye? Apolog...you're dreaming."

"Let's get out of here," Sirius muttered.

They left the Ministry &amp; even the Wizarding World altogether as Sirius led James into the muggle side of London. They headed down one street named Baker. "Damn it!" James came to a sudden halt, making Sirius collide into him. "We should have stayed after leaving the court room to go find that card."

"What card?"

"Sherlock Holmes," James pointed at a place labelled 221B. "Remember? We were so close."

"We'll be back there, don't worry," Sirius said. "We'll make Remus come along. Maybe he can find it for us."

"When we get it, I'll put it in a frame," James said as they began walking again.

"I hope no one else has found it yet," Sirius pulled James into a café. "Hmm, a bit different but this was were we all went before Mrs. Lupin sent us off to the sauna. Remus is supposed to meet us here soon."

"Good," James sat down across from Sirius at a table by the window in one corner. "Then he can start talking about the Sherlockian card."

Sirius opened his scroll. "Hey, they've paired us together again." He handed it to James "We're to start in Dufftown first thing in the morning."

"I wonder if he's even near Dufftown?"

"I think so," Sirius took it back &amp; put it away. "You yourself said that Orion was near Hogwarts."

"Ok," James shifted in his seat.

Like a shadow, Remus was suddenly standing by their table. "I have a surprise for you guys." He opened up a folded piece of parchment &amp; gave it to Sirius.

Sirius read it over three times. He looked up at Remus. "This is going to rock the Wizarding World!"

"What is it?" James snatched up the parchment. He was soon gaping at Remus. "An ...Auror?"

"Took them long enough," Remus sat down. "But yes, Dumbledore finally pushed it through to them. Right now, I'm the one &amp; only Light werewolf around."

"Oh Moony," Sirius reached across the table &amp; took the wolf's nearest hand into his own. "You've always wanted that."

James watched the pair silently. He wasn't jealous of Remus being with Sirius. Far from it. He was jealous of them! The Wolfstar pair wasn't marred like he &amp; Lily was. Sure they had twelve years of Azkaban to get through but their love was still innocent. James, unlike Sirius, had to re-learn everything &amp; Lily, unlike Remus, had to handle him differently from what a normal boyfriend-later-husband would have been treated. It put James in a sour mood. He wasn't mad at them. It was all Orion's fault!

"Oh, what have we here?" Remus went on. "In my other pocket."

"Swear to Merlin, if it's chocolate," Sirius began.

"That to," Remus pulled out a Ministry scroll. "My first mission. I've also been put on the world-wide manhunt for Orion Black." He put the orders on the table. "So, out of the three of us, whoever of us gets him first, he's going to be sorry."

"Just don't kill him," James said through gritted teeth. "I want him to suffer. The Dementor's Kiss is extremely long &amp; painful."

"Oh neither of us would ever kill him," Sirius said. "You're the one with the most right to do that. But we'll bring him to within an inch of his life if we get our hands on him first."

"Before we go," James added. "You miserly little moon monster owe us a Star Gold Famous Witches &amp; Wizards Card. Sherlock Holmes."

Remus burst out laughing. He laughed so hard that he actually fell of the chair &amp; had to clamour back into it, ignoring looks from other people. Remus sobbed into his hands, leaning over precariously to his side, still laughing hysterically. When he had finally half-composed himself several hours….ok minutes that felt like hours...later, he said. "It isn't real. It was Mama's idea." He explained the whole prank while Sirius &amp; James crossed their arms, glaring. "Oh you idiots!"

"Uh huh," James wasn't impressed. "Perhaps it's more likely that you found it &amp; won't share."

"Let's burn down the Shrieking Shack," Sirius huffed.

"Do whatever you like," Remus wiped his eyes, still snickering. "It's a fake."

"That is so, mmmm," James snarled. "TYPICAL!"

"I can't believe I dragged your arses through the mud all these years for that," Remus went on. "Oh. Peter. I have to find a way to let him know."

"Oh don't bother," Sirius muttered.

Remus glared at him. "You &amp; I need to have a really long talk."

"Ooo," James cooed. "Someone's in the doghouse."

"That's ok," Sirius sulked. "Make up sex with this guy is great."

"Ok now you're out on the porch," Remus swung his leg hard under the table. It was James that screamed. "Sorry!" Remus yelped. "I was aiming for him."

"You have bad targeting skills," James glared.

"Why do you think I never played Quidditch?"

James stood up &amp; limped away from the table. "Let's just get to our posts."

"Jim," Sirius began as he &amp; Remus followed. "We're going to get him this time. His days are numbered."

James stood between them &amp; took their hands. They apparated to Dufftown &amp; began hunting Orion for once. Each silently promised to make Orion regret the day he was born.

The Daily Prophet that next morning sold out. Twice &amp; more copies were on demand. Sirius Black was free. James Potter was alive. A violent rapist was on the loose.

A large sum of money had apparently been put into the account of the Ministry of Magic, part of it for Minister Fudge himself. No explanation was given on how Sirius had escaped in the first place &amp; any question asked was promptly swept aside.

The main rumour about the mysterious money was that it apparently came out of the Black &amp; Potter vaults.


	40. Chapter 40

**(40) Surge**

The next day, Harry begrudgingly returned to his Aunt &amp; Uncle's house. With Lily's very blood covering, he had no choice &amp; even if he did, his Dad didn't want him around for good reason.

Hermione &amp; Ron had brought him breakfast in bed &amp; then made him wear the Invisibility Cloak to get from the Tower down to the station. He had soon found out why. The whole school was in an uproar when the papers released the story &amp; people had wanted to see him &amp; talk to him. Hermione &amp; Ron had stayed on other side of him so no one would bump into an invisible form.

Harry had boarded the train under cloak with Ron &amp; Hermione behind him &amp; noticed right away that others were often whispering or even casting looks in their direction, hoping to see him but often seeing right through him. Harry was used to people talking about him, but this time it had nothing to do with being the Chosen One. The three of them found a compartment for themselves &amp; closed the door. Hermione pulled down the blinds &amp; locked the door so no one could come after Harry as he finally took the cloak off.

Hermione opened her bag &amp; pulled out the newest Daily Prophet. "This is what the whole school is talking about. I grabbed it from the Entrance Hall before we went to the train." Harry closed his eyes &amp; took the paper.

Wrong Black.

Orion Black, the father of Sirius Black, is truly guilty of crimes originally thought to be committed by Sirius.

It was front page headlines. The side columns had things like Sirius Black acquitted. James Potter is found alive. Minister of Magic receives large sum of money. Black (that is to say, Sirius) &amp; Potter refused to comment on the financial transferrals. Mad hippogriff still missing &amp; just exactly how did Sirius Black escape?

Harry read through the articles, feeling more &amp; more appalled at what exactly Orion was charged with. James had ripped Orion apart. James made absolutely sure that the heat was taken off Sirius. Harry stifled a sob, leaning over to put his head between his knees. The paper slipped out of his hands to the floor. Hermione picked it up, watching Harry.

"Are you ok?" Ron asked in a shaky voice. "I read it myself. It's dreadful!"

"He didn't want this out," Harry said, still head down.

"It gets Sirius off the hook," Hermione tried.

Harry nodded mutely, slowly sitting up at last. He could hardly believe what James had done to keep Sirius safe. He remained silent for most of the trip. A tiny owl had soon joined them. Ron gave Harry his signed Hogsmeade form from Sirius.

But for the first time in his life, Harry was glad to get off the train at last, if only to avoid stares &amp; whispers. Harry had been afraid Draco might make a scene, but he didn't see the blond boy once during that train ride. Perhaps there were some things that not even people like Draco would make fun of. Harry could only hope, knowing it was more likely that he just got lucky for once &amp; missed Draco.

It was a very different feeling as Harry headed home with his Aunt &amp; Uncle. Harry gave up trying to tell them about his father being alive. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't see a way of explaining rape to them. It was hard to speak of it anyway &amp; the link between him &amp; Peter forbade it. He knew he couldn't try the same antics like he did for Ron. They wouldn't get it. They didn't get wizarding news so they simply couldn't know. But Harry was soon rescued from the predicament when Dumbledore himself showed up the next day to explain to them that James was still alive &amp; why. Also, he explained why Harry still had to stay with them. After he left, it was clear that neither Petunia or Vernon relished the fact that someone like Orion Black could even think of coming to their house. Harry sighed heavily, as they fretted about it for weeks.

Harry ignored them as best possible. He was having his own worries to deal with, starting with a very strange dream of a weak Voldemort murdering a man. There was one other man by his side, but Harry didn't know who he was. Neither did he know the old man Voldemort had killed. At first, he had thought to owl his father or Sirius, but then decided against it. It was just a weird dream whereas Orion was a reality. Still the dream haunted him though Harry did his best to focus on something else. He soon had something far more real that drove weird dreams of half dead Dark Lords from his mind. Ron &amp; Hermione had invited him along to a major wizarding event. Harry now had the Quidditch World Cup to look forward to &amp; was soon on his way to the Burrow (but only after half the Weasleys decimated the Dursley's living room &amp; left jinxed candy lying about).

Harry hadn't heard anything about the case with Orion &amp; wondered what his father, Sirius &amp; Remus were doing. Did they have any luck yet? Harry hoped he would see any of them at the World Cup &amp; then perhaps, talk about the dream.

There was a loud crash as a long mirror fell off its stand &amp; crashed on its thin side to the floor, narrowly missing Sirius's head. Remus actually barked at it in surprise. The shards of the mirror lay around them, causing multiple reflections.

"Didn't even notice that thing was there," Sirius went back to removing Remus's shirt.

"Maybe we should move," gasped Remus, quickly kissing Sirius before attempting to move off.

"Yes we should," Sirius held him firmly in place. "By the way, it's so hot when you bark like that!"

Remus glared at him. After tossing his shirt aside, he lay over Sirius once more. Fully undressed now, Remus had full access to his mate (provided they minded where the broken shards lay) &amp; lost no time having his way with him. Padfoot was near Sirius's throat. Remus began sucking at her.

The doorbell rang.

"Oh go away," Remus pushed himself up.

"Don't stop!" Sirius gasped, pulling him back down.

The doorbell started ringing incessantly.

"Silencing charm?" Remus asked between breaths.

""Wand's too far," Sirius held him tighter as the dickwad at the door began pounding.

"Bloody persistent," Remus gasped, pressing harder against Sirius.

"Forget them!" Sirius arched his back. "Just don't stop!"

Remus thrusted faster, holding Sirius in a tight embrace. The doorbell began ringing incessantly while whoever was out there pounded ever harder &amp; faster at the same time on the door. Remus moved faster against Sirius, gritting his fangs as he finally went over. Sirius cried out as he finally came. They lay gasping for breath for a few moments.

"Ok," Remus finally got up &amp; reached for the nearest piece of clothing or blanket. He ended up wrapping himself with Sirius's bathrobe. The doorbell was still ringing off the hook. "Someone's going to get hurt."

Sirius was still panting on the floor. "I hate that person already!" He finally got up.

"Wait, Si—NO! Oh ...whatever."

Sirius answered the door, naked. "WHAT? OH!"

James was standing outside. "Fina—"

BANG!

Sirius had just slammed the door in his face. Ignoring the hiss, he yanked the robe from Remus, wrapped himself, then opened the door &amp; leaned sexily on the doorframe. Remus went to get dressed again. "Hi."

"Why'd you slam the door in my face?" James glared. "Not like it's nothing I haven't seen before, even if I didn't date you."

"I didn't slam. Slipped. It slipped," Sirius smiled, letting James in. "Now, what do you want?"

Remus came back, buttoning up the last few buttons of his shirt. He snarled. "This had better be good, Prongs."

"As good as it was a few seconds ago?" James smiled slyly.

"Shut up," Sirius ordered. "What do you want?"

James snickered at them before going somber. "There was an attack at the Quidditch World Cup. A group of Death Eaters set fire to everything &amp; the Dark Mark appeared in the sky."

"What?" Remus gasped.

"Harry's there," Sirius said. "With his friends. The Weasley family brought him &amp; Hermione. Arthur told me in a letter a while ago, asking permission to get a ticket for Harry."

"I wish we could have been with him," James muttered as Sirius disappeared into the bedroom. "But we're all spread thin with Orion &amp; the Cup &amp; the Tournament. So much at once."

"The Dark Mark," Remus mused. "I'm an Auror. Minor attacks. I really hope it isn't as bad as last time."

"Well, Voldemort isn't around," Sirius joined them, fully dressed. Remus made a noise in his throat.

"What?"

"When Dumbledore told me I had been approved to be an Auror, he mentioned something else," Remus buttoned up his coat, then grabbed Sirius by the hand on one side before reaching for James. He hesitated, not sure if James would like being touched. "We uh ...we should apparate together." James took his hand, but didn't stand too close to him. "A prediction about someone reuniting with Voldemort. Maybe even Voldemort's return."

"Oh that's just what we need," James complained as Remus sucked the three of them into the vortex. "Confound it all! Where are my glas...thanks Padfoot."

"I'm used to keeping spares for you with this fuzzball around," Sirius jerked his thumb at Remus who promptly bit it hard enough to bruise. "OUCH!" Sirius whined like a baby, sucking it.

"There it is," James pointed upwards before running into the crowd.

"**Which of you did it? Which of you conjured the Dark Mark?"**

"**Barty, they're kids, Barty, they'd never have been able to –"  
**

James bounded into the circle with Sirius &amp; Remus close behind him. It was the first time father &amp; son laid eyes on each other since James had entered the swarm of Dementors. Since then, the three of them had been tracking Orion down. Only Sirius managed to sneak in a letter or two to Harry but none of them wanted to risk leading Orion to the boy.

While the others talked, Harry ran towards James, stopping a few inches in front of him. Like Remus, he also was careful about touching James without permission. Though no one had talked about it, the silent agreement was to not approach James unless he seemed to feel safe. No one wanted to unleash his warped power if they could avoid it. "Dad, what are you doing here?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing," James offered his hand.

Harry took it &amp; stepped closer. "Did you ...did you get him?"

"Not yet," James turned as he let Harry go &amp; watched as Winky was carried into the clearing. He stood by quietly as the most bizarre scene unfolded. That was, quietly until Harry himself was accused of casting the Mark since his wand had been used for it. James burst out laughing. "The stupidity of the Ministry never ceases to amaze me." He finally said. "My son? Of all people in the world &amp; you try to implicate him?"

Others were quick to take his side, all saying the same thing. Harry Potter would be the last one to summon that Mark. It was Arthur Weasley who finally managed to subdue the uproar &amp; turned the conversation back to Winky.

It ended badly for the little elf &amp; left Hermione in a foul mood. James finally led Harry &amp; the others away towards the tent of the Weasley family who swept aside to give him a wide berth. James gritted his teeth but said nothing. The first Daily Prophet of the summer had proclaimed to the world what had been done to him since he was sixteen. But at least, Sirius was following behind him instead of being worse than dead.

James, then Harry ducked inside the tent's entrance, followed by Sirius, Remus, the Weasleys &amp; Hermione. It was only then that James moved away from his son's side. He pressed himself against one wall, as the others pressed in, trying to isolate himself as much as possible.

They heard a large bang outside. James held open the flap &amp; everyone looked out only to see a group of five Death Eaters appearing before them. Everyone but James reached for their wand.

James marched forward to meet them. "If you know who I am, you wouldn't dare approach!" They didn't listen. James raised his hand &amp; a wave of power rippled before him. The group of Death Eaters were mowed off their feet &amp; flung a far distance back. "You stay here," James told Arthur. "Keep Harry &amp; the others with you."

"Jim, get back here," Sirius said.

"No," James shook his head. "I'll be fine. My sorcery's driving me crazy. I need a release. Get out of here!"

"James."

"Now!" James turned away &amp; disappeared into the crowd.

"Damn it," Sirius huffed.

"I'll go after him," said Remus. "Take care of Harry."

Remus bolted forward, trying to concentrate on the lingering scent of James. In the end, he need not have worried for there were tell-tale signs of where James had gone. People &amp; tents alike had been blasted away. Looking ahead, Remus saw more tents were suddenly flattened &amp; people sailing though the air backwards. Losing control helped take care of the Death Eaters, but being unfocused, it sent everyone sprawling. Remus tried to get closer without crossing into range. He saw James standing in the center of his latest attack &amp; called out to him.

"Go back to Harry," James shouted, moving forward towards another group of Death Eaters. They were soon pushed over. Even their spells they had cast at him were bounced back.

"James stop!" Remus tried to inch closer. "You're knocking out the Light as well."

"They're fine," James continued his assault. "I can handle this crowd." Another wave of unseen power made the grass before James ripple as if pressed in a great wind.

"Prongs!" Remus tried to follow.

"Just leave me alone Remus!" Without even looking behind him at the werewolf, James held his left hand above his head. Remus landed on his stomach several feet back the way he had just come, having the wind knocked out of him. He shook himself as he slowly got up.

Remus glanced around. Rubbing his ribs with one hand, he realized that the one he knew as James Potter was gone. Buried so far deep within himself that it was unlikely to find the mischievous boy Remus had known ever again. That man had used his twisted powers on his own friend; his own family at that, considering Remus was married to Sirius. Remus stumbled forward, slowly recovering from the blow. "James! Jim, where are you?" He ran ahead once more but James was gone.

James had apparated to another location near the stadium to get Remus off his scent. He ended up in the thick of the Death Eater swarm but unlike others, that actually made him happy. James cast his magic surging forth in every direction. He was left standing at the center while trees lay broken all around. Tents were torn up &amp; people of both sides were slowly picking themselves up. James stormed towards the nearest Death Eater who had one foot on the ground in a half kneeling position. James grabbed him &amp; twisted, forcing the masked man back onto both knees. James yanked the mask off. "Well well Lucy," He cooed. "Is Voldemort back then?"

"Don't say his name."

"Voldemort," James repeated. "What, scared of your long lost master's fake little name? You ought to be more scared of me. Remember me?" James twisted Lucius Malfoy's head back so he could see his captor.

"James Potter," Lucius snarled. "Why should I fear the likes of you?"

"Good question," James shoved Lucius's head forward again, then patted his shoulder as if this was an every-day occurrence. "Ever since our relative messed me up when I was sixteen, I have these ...fits let's call them. I lose control of my gift. Bad things happen when I do that." James grabbed the long white hair &amp; yanked. Lucius yelped. "Now I want you to go back to that pathetic excuse of a Dark Lord &amp; tell him he would be unwise to not fear me. In fact, tell him he should have killed me while he had the chance. Oh &amp; while you're at it, tell little Tommy Jr. that it is I he should be coming after, not Harry. I am Voldemort's worst nightmare! Ok?" James smiled oh-so-sweetly. "Ok, so glad we had this dashing little chit-chat." He let Lucius drop to the ground with an agonising thud &amp; began walking away. "Oh &amp; one more thing," James came back. He promptly kicked Lucius hard between the legs. "That's to Voldemort. From my wife, Lily."

"You'd better kill me!" Lucius wheezed. He put a hand to his hair only to recoil. His hair was hot. Glancing at the tips over one shoulder, he saw that the bottom half of his hair was black, burnt by James's hand.

"Hey you know what they say," James spread his hands. "Don't kill the messenger." He lifted a finger, pointing towards the stadium. "Sorry about the hair. Power bolts. You know how they are, or...perhaps not." Lucius went spinning like a top through the air &amp; disappeared over the wall. James turned around to see another Death Eater staring at him. "What?" The Death Eater continued to stare. "Come here!" James took a step forwards. The Death Eater ran. "That's right! At least someone's getting the hint."

The Death Eater returned, bringing friends. James stepped backwards until he was against the wall. The Death Eaters raised their wands but they were already too late. A surge of power rippled from James, knocking those around him off their feet. The entire Stadium disintegrated into dust as fast as the Twin Towers would one day soon collapse into nothing.

People slowly picked themselves up. Casting a nervous glance at the man standing in the center of the crater, they scuttled away. James disappeared on the spot &amp; landed on the front porch of the inn that Sirius &amp; Remus were staying for a while in the muggle side of Cherbourg. He went inside &amp; looked quickly around but all he found was the broken mirror. He fixed that, then flung himself onto the couch. James stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, letting his sorcery cool. Slowly but surely, he brought it under control.

"There you are."

James sat bolt right up. "Wha...?" He had fallen asleep.

Sirius was sitting on the edge of the couch while Remus stood behind it. Sirius punched James hard on the shoulder, earning a glare.

"Blimey Padfoot!"

"That was for Remus. You knocked him so hard that I felt it through our bond."

"I meant no harm," James rubbed his shoulder. Remus started clicking at him. "I just wanted him out of the way."

Sirius reached over &amp; put two fingers on the werewolf's lips to stop the clicks, then turned back to James. "Nice mess you made back at the Stadium." James just shrugged.

"You're lucky you didn't kill anyone," Remus added.

"My powers weren't aimed at people directly," James defended.

"You're in a lot of trouble!" Sirius snapped. "Fudge wanted to haul your arse into the Ministry Of Magic for all the commotion you caused."

"He can just send a thank you note," James groused.

Sirius glared at him. "Jim you can't keep allowing your powers to run rampant like that. I had to really talk that man down to get him to leave you alone, ending up with a large fine to pay for damages, which I covered for you. But I can't do that forever!"

"Ok fine. I'm sorry!"

"Jim," Remus moaned. "Try to understand. If you keep causing problems, people will turn against you."

"I said I'm sorry," James huffed. "I understand perfectly but you are the one who doesn't get it. I don't care about the fucking Ministry ok? After what they did to Sirius, it's obvious they're nothing more than useless morons with they're head's up their arses!"

"Jim," Remus started.

James cut across him. "How's Harry?"

"He's fine," answered Sirius. "But don't think this conversation is over." James crossed his arms, pouting like a stubborn child. Sirius went on. "He's quite ready to get back to school."

"Which by the way," Remus cut in. "That's something else we need to talk about. The Triwizard Tournament being at Hogwarts. I hope Harry will be ok."

"Ah, Harry might like the show," said James. After a moment of the Wolfstar team staring at him he went on, "What? He's bloody fourteen! He can't enter for sure."

"Dumbledore says only students who are of age can sign up," Sirius said.

"There see?" James lay back down. "He's fine."

"I hope so," Remus wasn't convinced. "Harry always seems to get tangled up in school affairs though. Saved the Stone. Killed a Basilisk." He cast a soft smile at Sirius. "Rescued you."

"Meh, there was no danger rescuing Sirius," James waved it away. "He wasn't really trying to kill him."

Remus tossed an envelope onto James's chest. "While you were lying here, we picked up a lead on Orion's whereabouts."

James sighed but didn't touch the envelope. Sirius took it. "Now that the fairy's out of the flowers, he's trying to hide." James stared pointedly at the ceiling. Sirius opened the envelope. "He's been seen in Dartmoor. We can pick up the trail from there."

"It's going to be hard rooting him out," Remus added. "If he goes into hiding, we may never get him unless we can figure who he used for a Secret Keeper."

James put both hands on his forehead. "Oh I wished we had cut him to pieces in Sixth Year. That way we'd know he was dead!"

Sirius pulled his hands away. "Jim, if we lose track of Orion, I'll force you into hiding &amp; this time, I won't let anyone else be your Secret Keeper. He'll never see you again!"

"What I wouldn't give to have him out of my life," James muttered. He sat up, pushing Sirius off the couch. "Let's go."

* * *

_(AN: Words in bold are from book/movie of Goblet Of Fire.)_


	41. Chapter 41

**(41) A Secret For Potter**

"Remus! Stay with me," Sirius knelt in the grass, cradling the werewolf's head in his arms. "Please, just hang on." Prongs bounded down the hill towards them.

James fell down on the other side. "What happened? What the hell was that?"

"Silver!" Sirius patted Remus on the chest. "Please! Focus on me!"

"Padfoot, he'll be ok! He's still alive!" James put on hand on each of them. "We just have to bring him to St. Mungo's."

"What would they know?" Sirius screamed at him. "He's a werewolf! They would neither know what to do or care! Oh, Remus!" He buried his face into his mate's chest. "Don't die! Not now!"

"Padfoot, it's our only chance!" James grabbed held &amp; beamed them to the wizard hospital. The moment James got them all inside, he grabbed Sirius's face in both hands. "Look at me! You know more about werewolves than anyone here, including Moony! Tell them everything. Sirius! We can fix this."

"It hurts!" Sirius gasped through gritted teeth. "Our mated bond. It really hurts. It's breaking!"

"It'll be ok," James tried to calm him; though, he was beginning to feel a rising panic himself. "Go! Tell them everything! I'll take care of him."

As Sirius took off to find the Head Healer, James managed to get Remus onto a bed. The wolf lay unresponsive &amp; pale. At first glance, he seemed to be slightly foaming at the mouth, but the color was wrong. James wiped off the drop of silver before looking at the wound in Remus's side. It was like something had exploded on him.

They had been following any lead they got over the past couple of weeks, looking for Orion Black, but it seemed that he was leading them on a wild goose chase. The last place they had looked in was just outside of Reading. Suddenly, there had been a barking yelp of pain &amp; Remus fell down the hill as if dead.

James petted back the bangs. "Come on Moony. You've been through worse."

"What happened to him?" The Healer asked as she checked on the wound.

"He was shot with silver," James said. "I don't understand why he's still alive. Silver usually kills werewolves."

The Healer stepped back from the bed. "A werewolf?" She looked apprehensively over Remus.

"Yeah, he's mine," James said. "Raised him since he was a puppy. Don't worry."

She didn't move. "It's in his side, not his heart," she said. "I think that's why he's still alive. Also, it doesn't seem like much. Perhaps a stronger dose may have done more damage?"

"If so I'm glad it wasn't," said James. Both looked around as Sirius suddenly entered, followed by two others.

Sirius went straight to the bed &amp; sat down as he took Remus's hand into his own. "Oh he's looking worse! We need to get that silver out of him." Sirius moved away to let those who had come with him take over.

Remus was soon moved to an enclosed room. Sirius spent over an hour inside with him &amp; the two healers while James stretched out on the bench in the lobby next to the entrance. He sat up when Sirius finally emerged. They shared a look, then Sirius went to the wall &amp; pressed his forehead to it.

"What did you do?"

Sirius sighed &amp; slid down to sit on the floor. "We made it up as we went along. I think the Healer was right. It wasn't in his heart directly &amp; it wasn't much. We pulled the silver out through the entrance wound, then closed that. But he's still not awake."

"Well give him some time," James tried to soothe him. "He lost a lot of blood to."

Sirius banged the back of his head on the wall a few times. "I wish to Merlin I was back in Azkaban! Rather that than this! What was that even doing out there anyway?"

James moved to the floor to sit beside Sirius. "Probably leftover from a werewolf hunt."

They sat in silence for a few minutes. "I'm sorry Prongs," Sirius suddenly began. "We were so close to catching Orion. I thought we'd get him today."

James sighed heavily, staring at the opposite wall. "We'll get him."

"Oh if only that stupid old trap wasn't there!" Sirius went on. "Jim, if Remus dies—"

"No!" James put a hand on Sirius's shoulder. "No. He won't die."

"If I ever find out who left that vile thing behind," Sirius snarled.

"I've been thinking about that actually," began James. "I think it's Orion."

Sirius actually growled under breath. "Why?"

"Why is he letting us know he's in Dartmoor?" said James. "Why give away his position now that we are all after him? Why does there just happen to be a trap that only a werewolf can trigger? Most importantly, why isn't Remus dead?"

"You think Orion set us up."

"More like distracted us," said James. "See, now we're here with Remus. We don't know how long he'll be out or when he'll wake up. In the meantime, Orion can really disappear."

Sirius stared at the door behind which Remus was sleeping, then grasped James's hand for a moment. "Go! Don't lose him."

"I can't."

"You're right Jim. He can disappear forever while we're stuck here!" Sirius exclaimed. "Go. Now!"

"That is precisely what Orion would want," James pointed out. "Me go out. Alone. Oh yes, he'll disappear then. But he would take me with him."

Sirius stared at him. "He's trying to call you out."

James nodded. "So I don't think he will disappear completely unless I'm with him. I'm willing to make that mistake."

"Oh Jim," Sirius sighed. "So long as that man is out of your life, I don't care of the how of it."

Jim stood up &amp; started pacing. "Sometimes I wonder if that will ever be possible. I can't even have a normal life with him around. I can hardly go near my son. I can't see my wife. I'm dragging you &amp; Remus quite literally through the mud trying to get Orion." He sighed heavily. "I wish we were kids again. Back in Year 5 perhaps."

"Please, anything but Year 5," Sirius groaned.

James glared at him. "Not my problem you screwed us all over. That's when we made the rule: Betrayal means death so none of us would dare do something so stupid again. Though the rule never should have had to be made in the first place."

"Can we not talk about it anymore?" Sirius whined. James huffed &amp; crossed his arms. Sirius added, "I honestly prefer late into Year 6 when we told you what condoms were."

"_Tabarnac!"_ James swore through gritted teeth. Sirius burst out laughing.

Sirius finally pulled himself to his feet, not a moment to soon as James had partly raised his foot as if he was about to kick Sirius. "We'll never let you outlive that one. Epic fail on your part, Jim. Such a classic!"

James glanced to the door as other people came &amp; went, then glared at Sirius. "Know what? Drop dead!"

Sirius just doubled over laughing. "Ohh I think Remus nearly died that day."

"Yes," James agreed. "He nearly did."

Sirius took a while to stop laughing. "So, how are you holding up?" James just glared at him. "You still don't like hospitals much. I can tell from you staying here next to the main doors."

"No, I don't." James returned to the bench. "The only thing keeping me from bolting is Orion out there, waiting for me to do just that."

"Let him wait," Sirius sat down beside him. "You're not here as a patient. You have nothing to worry about."

"People still look at me," James muttered under breath. "I don't like that."

"Well since it was all over the papers a while ago, they can't help but wonder," Sirius tried to comfort James. "Trust me, I know how you feel."

"No you don't!"

"Oh really? They all thought I was a mass murderer &amp; Voldemort's right hand for the past twelve years &amp; that includes my own husband on top of it all! In fact," Sirius added. "There are still some people out there who don't believe us &amp; think it's all some sort of conspiracy. I get those looks too, now. You think I like it?"

James sighed heavily. "I guess not." After a moment he added, "I wonder if people think I made things up?"

"There will always be haters," Sirius shrugged. "Though I'd say those against you are less than the group against me. Only the stupid few would think someone lied about what Orion did to you."

"How do you handle it?"

"Get used to it," Sirius said. "People have been looking at me weird since I was born. It increased when I married a werewolf who's also impure blooded. So what? Not my problem."

James suddenly smiled. "Just be glad you're not muggle."

"Why?"

"They, unlike us, have a lot of prejudice with what they call," James made 'air quotes' as he went on, "'alternate love life.' "

"Oh I know about that," Sirius waved it away. "Us wizard folk don't care about the who you fall far, only the what of it. Same gender? Fine. But Merlin forbid you screw up your bloodlines!"

"I guess we're not all that different after all," James stretched out. "How's Remus?"

Sirius pressed both hands to his chest. "He...feels stable. But not responsive. He won't connect to me."

"It's amazing how you two can do that," said James. "Was it the silver that cut you out?"

"No, it's him," Sirius said. "He shut me out so I can't feel any pain he's in. I hate that!"

"If he's strong enough to do that, he'll be fine," said James. "He's just trying to spare you. Why hate that?"

"That isn't what I mean," Sirius shook his head, then ran both his hands through his hair. "Back then, in the weeks leading up to...well when you were supposed to go into hiding … we uh—Remus &amp; I had a lot of secret missions for the Order. We were separated a lot &amp; we..."

"You cut each other out, thinking it was good for Order work."

Sirius took a long time to reply. "Yeah," He sighed heavily &amp; leaned back. "Yeah we cut out. I could barely sense his emotions. Our auras were so in sync before then. Things went downhill. What was 'oh just Order stuff' became 'I don't trust you' became 'I can't let him in case he's on the wrong side now'. I could only feel his anger &amp; loathing towards me, even back then &amp; I stupidly felt the same way. It's like we fed off each other, escalating the distrust. Then everything literally blew up in my face. He cut me out so completely that part of me worried if it was enough to uncouple us &amp; he could find a new mate. For a while, I could at least sense he was still alive but the Dementors soon blocked me off forever."

"It must have been something to reconnect with him again last spring."

"It would have been if it weren't for that brat of yours," Sirius complained. "Did I ever call Lily a hag?"

James shrugged. "I don't know. You were pretty mean to her when we all first met. What did Harry do?"

Sirius begrudgingly explained the kick. James burst out laughing. "Anyway," Sirius glared as he changed subjects. "I couldn't have done it without Harry's help &amp; that," he stopped short, then lowered his voice. "that diary of yours."

"It served its purpose," James stated simply. "That's all that matters."

"So what, um what, does Harry know from that?"

"Everything from our Sixth Year," said James. "I started writing after ... that night." He pulled back the cuff of his sleeve &amp; then the edge of the armband. The two suicide scars were still visible. "I began with the end of that summer."

"You ...wrote about us to I suppose."

"Yeah," said James, coloring a little as he lowered his wrist. "Nothing much," he quickly lied. "Just bits &amp; pieces here &amp; there."

Sirius actually laughed. "Poor kid's been at it since Christmas. He was so confused at first. He told me he didn't know what to think about me at all."

"Padfoot, that fact will remain true to the day you die."

"Oh shut up!" Sirius ordered. They both laughed before sitting in silence for a while.

"It's amazing most of us came through this alive," James suddenly said softly, staring at the opposite wall.

Sirius resisted the urge to take one of James's hands, not knowing how James would respond to being touched even in a friend-only way. "You miss Lily?"

"Mhm," James turned away.

Sirius recognised the reaction all to well but no longer had any idea how to help without setting off any defences. What he wanted to do was grab James &amp; hold him close as before, but he knew James would no longer respond well to intimate touching in any way. He ended up keeping space between them while saying, "Jim, are you absolutely sure she's dead? I thought you were dead &amp; gone. I was wrong."

"She's gone Pads," James said in one breath. He was on the verge of a full breakdown. "She's gone &amp; not coming back."

Sirius finally gave in part way &amp; grabbed James on the shoulder. "I think there's something we both need to do then." James looked at Sirius before glancing down briefly at the fingers over his shoulder. "Let's go see her Jim. I never got the chance to say goodbye to anyone. Neither did you."

"Padfoot...Orion…" James gasped softly. "He's expecting that &amp; what about Remus?"

"I've uh, I've sent out a few Aurors a while ago to scout that place," Sirius admitted. "I wanted to see her myself. He's no where near there. There are also three other Aurors guarding Remus besides us," Sirius pointed down the hall. Sure enough none other than Mad Eye Moody was at that moment entering the little café just beside the lobby while a black man &amp; a young witch neither James or Sirius knew were heading for the door of the stairs leading up to the floor Remus was on. Sirius jumped up &amp; ran to catch up with them.

James watched the three of them talking. Sirius suddenly looked surprised &amp; stared at the young witch with bright pink hair. He had clapped both hands to his face. The witch giggled at him. The pair soon came back. "What's that all about?"

"Jim, remember 'Dromeda?" Sirius exclaimed in a near-boyish voice. "This is her daughter!" He introduced them.

"You're Andromeda's daughter?" James was soon staring as much as Sirius &amp; grinning just as stupidly. "Incredible &amp; an Auror in training as well!"

"And NOT a pureblood either," Tonks quickly explained.

"Good," Sirius agreed.

"My mother could hardly believe what happened to you," Tonks went on. "She often talked about you &amp; kept picking things apart wondering what we all missed to show you had switched sides. She's very glad they're wrong about you."

"I'm very glad they're wrong about me," Sirius said. "Let me guess, the Black family turned their backs on you for it?"

"I hope not," Tonks looked pointedly at Sirius. "You're the only one left...Uncle."

"Uncle?" Sirius echoed. "I like her. But I'm not the only one left."

"Orion doesn't count," Tonks put in quickly. "I doubt even your mother or brother would have welcomed him back if they had known about…about what happened."

"I'm a Black," James said. "From my mother's side. So that makes Harry Potter, my son, a Black as well."

"Harry Po—your son?"

"Yep, that little rascal is mine."

Sirius burst out laughing so loud, he earned glares from other visitors passing through. "You wouldn't dare say that to his face."

"He does seem to get into strange situations though," Tonks added.

"I've heard," James nodded. "I didn't even believe about the Basilisk until Dumbledore showed me the sword &amp; the tooth."

"And to think that beast was there even when we were going to school," Sirius put in. "Yet we never found it. Something's wrong with us Marauders Jim. We're supposed to find out everything!"

"Thanks but I don't mind not having 'death by stoning' on the list," James gave Sirius a small shove.

"Perhaps if you people would stop spending so much time on family reunions, we could actually get going," Mad Eye said suddenly as he showed up. He glared at the two men who found the floor rather interesting. "Daylight's a-wasting! Let's go!"

"You're not coming with us?" James looked hopefully at Tonks.

"I'm not allowed," Tonks shrugged.

"Why?" James asked.

"Only full Aurors are allowed on the case of Orion Black," Tonks answered. "He is a strong man both in powers &amp; physical force &amp; well," she sighed heavily, then said in a mocking voice. "'I'm just a trainee'. So I'm told."

"That is understandable," James said quietly.

"But you're here," Sirius pointed out.

"It's the hospital," Tonks said. "There's too many people for him to bother. Also, he isn't allowed within a fifty foot radius of this building even if he was bleeding to death. There are many Aurors stationed around watching over this entire place."

"Yes &amp; you leaving that type of security is such a better plan," Mad Eye groused. "Come on. Let's get it over with." He headed for the door.

"Look out for Remus while we're gone," Sirius said to Tonks. "Tell him I'll be back soon."

"Alright," Tonks nodded. "How long is he staying here?"

"The head Healer here says he will definitely stay overnight."

"Overnight?" James suddenly felt hot yet cold at the same time. He didn't plan on staying in the hospital that long.

"They want to make sure there is no more silver in him," Sirius explained as they went out the door.

Sirius &amp; Moody put James in front &amp; between them so they flanked his sides. Each offered a hand. Moody may be a grouch but he had the sense to know not to approach James without a good reason. Once the three of them had clasped hands, they apparated away.

They landed on the outskirts of Godric's Hollow &amp; for the first time in twelve years for both Sirius &amp; James, they finally entered the village where they had grown up together. They had appeared near the small church. Sirius &amp; Moody had moved towards the cemetery but James stood staring down the street. Sirius leaned against the old broken fence to wait while Moody continued forward to patrol the area &amp; leave the pair alone.

"Jim?" Sirius called after several minutes of him still not moving.

James slowly came over. "I wonder what the house is like now?"

"There was a hell of a mess to pick up," Sirius said. "That blast Voldemort tried on Harry really screwed everything up. One side was pretty much gone. It's amazing Harry survived."

"Dumbledore explained to me what Lily really did," James began, repeating what Dumbledore had said. "So like I say, I know she's dead. It was either her or Harry. I can't seem to have both."

"That's how you know?" Sirius asked incredulously. "Ohh if I ever get my hands on Orion!" He snarled before going on. "But that was a shield against Voldemort, not half a house collapsing &amp; a lot of rubble. His crib somehow managed to stay standing with a few missing bars in the back."

James glanced down the street as if peering through the whole village at his long lost house. "I never saw it after leaving for Hogwarts. I never got back."

"Do you want to?"

James put a hand on the gate. "Let me think about it." He pushed it open &amp; led the way through the ancient tombstones towards the back. James hesitated &amp; turned slightly away. Sirius stopped behind him as James pointed across the stone-marked ground with his wand. "She'd be over there."

Sirius pulled out his own wand &amp; glanced around. "Take your time, James."

They moved forward a few paces only to freeze as a man came around the corner. James nearly fired a spell but it was only Mad Eye Moody doing rounds around the church &amp; property. James groaned, lowering his wand. He moved forward again.

Sirius glanced down at an ancient large grave with the name Ignotus Peverell; though, he had to get close &amp; squint to read it properly as it was worn thin with time. "This grave is so old!" He rubbed some dirt off the stone.

"Step away from that grave, Black!"

Sirius's mouth dropped open as he stood up slowly. That had been James. "Excuse m—" His voice died in his throat as his eyes found James standing there among graves as old as time. James had his wand out &amp; aimed at Sirius. His hazel eyes had gone so dark, they were nearly black.

"Come here."

Sirius had never heard such a commanding voice before. Rooted to the spot, he continued to stare at his cousin, having a sudden thrill go through him as he felt like he was staring at someone as ancient as this section of the graveyard. "James, what's wrong?"

"Come here now!"

Keeping a firm hand on his wand, Sirius finally made his way over. "Jim." He whispered so softly he barely heard.

James suddenly lost the commanding glare as his eyes returned to normal. He lowered his wand. "Sorry Padfoot. Old family spell made me do that."

Sirius stared at him. "What is going on?"

"Nothing," James obviously lied. "Let's find Lily." Without any explanation, he turned &amp; continued down through the rows. He suddenly stopped &amp; Sirius banged into him. "Sirius, Harry has my old Invisibility Cloak doesn't he?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Just wondering," James shrugged. "There," He suddenly pointed ahead at a newer looking grave. "I think that's her." He remained still, hesitating to go on.

"Do you want me to go ahead?" Sirius asked. "That is, if I'm allowed."

"I need to do something about that spell," James muttered. Before Sirius could ask, he felt something touch his hand. James had taken a hold &amp; Sirius felt unsure what to do. He had never expected James to reach out to him. "Together then?" James led him forward.

They arrived at last at the double grave, unfortunately carved with James Potter into the headstone. Sirius read over the name-date lines to himself. After a moment, he said, "Nice inscription. I wonder who came up with that?"

"My father."

"He died in our sixt—wait are you telling me he's fine?"

"Now Sirius," James actually smirked for a moment. "Don't be silly. Anyway, it was something that was passed down." He knelt down on the side Lily was on. He knew the true meaning, being a Hallows descendant. Parent to child. Down through the ages. The damned yet divine cloak had been passed along. James recalled the night before he went to Hogwarts for the first time, so many ages ago now. His father had pulled him aside &amp; given him the family secret. Not even his mother knew. Death's own cloak lurked in the halls of what she had called home.

"The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death," Sirius read aloud.

James lay down, pressing his forehead to her headstone. "I'm sorry," He whispered softly so Sirius couldn't hear. "I couldn't protect you to." He traced the lettering carved into the stone. "If only ...if I had given it to you instead of Dumbledore. I never should have left!"

Sirius watched James as he lay silent on the stone. He glanced around occasionally but only saw Moody once more doing rounds. Sirius knelt down &amp; put a hand over James's shoulder but without touching. He wondered if he dared touch right now. "Jim," Sirius tried but had to stop to breathe for a moment or else he'd lose his voice. "Prongs ...are you ok?" He slowly lowered his hand onto James's shoulder.

James sighed heavily but didn't pull away. After several minutes, he sat up. Sirius pulled away. James glanced down on the other side of the double grave. "I have nothing against Andrew Scott," he began. "But he really has no business here. That's my place down there, not his."

For the first time in his life, Sirius didn't know if James was trying to make light of the situation or was being serious again. Was he suicidal once more? "At least she isn't alone," Sirius tried. "It's so lonely here. There are no Evans for her &amp; no Potters." The moment the last two words left his lips, Sirius had a horrible feeling he was wrong. Then he wondered why he felt that way, as if that entire section was suddenly haunted by Potters long since dead in ancient days. He felt as if he had insulted someone &amp; that he was suddenly unwelcome here.

James stood up. "On the contrary, there are more Potters here than you will ever know. We own this whole side."

"You do?"

James nodded. "Besides, you were here once before remember?" He led Sirius up two rows &amp; over three graves. There was another double grave by the edge that was nearly covered from the large bushes that grew there. James pushed the branches away.

"Charlus &amp; Dor—WOW! This place has changed!"

"These bushes got bigger is all," James let the branches fall back. "Normally I'd be the one taking care of the place but I just can't do that right now."

"You'll soon have all the time in the world."

James looked back at Lily's grave. "I hope so."

Sirius held out his hand. James stared down into his open palm. "You led me here," Sirius began. "Let me lead you out." James took hold of his hand &amp; together, they slowly made their way back to the gates. As they passed by the ancient grave of Ignotus which was now two rows away, Sirius tried again. "Do you mind telling me what the hell happened over there?"

"I can't."

"Ok," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"No Pads," James began. "I mean I can't. Direct line only. I could tell Harry but he could never tell you. Neither can I. You sure he has MY cloak?"

"Yes ... James," Sirius looked questionably at him.

"I suppose I better schedule a talk with him," was all James said.

They had finally exited the cemetery. Sirius glanced around, looking for Moody. He noticed something down the road. "Jim, look." He pointed. "That wasn't there before."

Moody appeared on the street nearby. Under his watchful eye, Sirius led James down the street. "It looks like a statue," said James as he released Sirius's hand &amp; went for a closer look. He stood before it for a moment, then stepped back hurriedly.

"Ohh," Sirius stared at the statue. "I didn't know they had made one." He reached out &amp; put a hand on the hair of the woman.

"It looks so much like her," James said. He looked away, staring towards the direction his old house was.

"Do you want to go see the house?" Sirius asked.

James sighed. "No." He remained rooted to the spot. "Not yet. Let's get rid of Orion. Then maybe, I'll come back."

Sirius felt a relief sweep through him. Not yet. James had planned ahead. Maybe he wasn't thinking of dying any time soon. "I'll come with you."

James turned to look at him, smiled briefly as if he was about to laugh at something but then went rather serious. "Your house is not far either, is it?"

"By walking?" Sirius wondered how to get off that topic, of all things to bring up! "Far enough. It would take all day." Hopefully, that would put James's mind at ease.

"I think we were near Remus's home in Cardiff," James said. "That second time Orion kidnapped me."

"What?"

"I had asked Remus recently where he had been living the past few years," James said. "It sounds like he may have been in the same town, or perhaps the next one over. But close."

"You mean, back then?" Sirius asked. "During those two years?" James merely nodded. Sirius put a hand to his brow, feeling a stress headache coming on. "He really kept you quiet, didn't he? Does Remus know this?"

"No, I didn't mention that bit to him. Why should I ? He wasn't actually there for most of it anyway since he &amp; his father took off."

Sirius held out a hand for James, who accepted once more. He led the way back to Moody. "I'm going to make him suffer, Jim. Just you wait!"


	42. Chapter 42

**(42) Lifting The Cloud**

Tonks made her way to the room where the man her uncle had told her about was sleeping. She found the name Remus Lupin on a door at last &amp; stopped there. This ward was for werewolves. What was Sirius doing mixed up with a werewolf? After all she had been told about Sirius being so different from the rest of the family, it was strange to learn that he still had a history of werewolves, yet he didn't come off as being a hunter. Tonks sighed &amp; opened the door a little to do a quick check up. She ended up staring into dark green eyes tinged with amber.

"Hello," Remus smiled softly at her. "Really, I'm fine! Sirius sends me Aurors every five minutes."

Tonks had not expected him to be awake &amp; certainly not to be talking with him. "He went out on an errand, so it might be a while before another one comes."

"Hmm knowing him, I doubt that," Remus laughed. Tonks came in farther. He seemed quite tame. "Do you have any chocolate?"

"Uh no."

"Now see, that is something he SHOULD be sending me," Remus grumbled. "I'm fresh out."

"You like chocolate? So do I."

"Best thing in the world," Remus said. "Sirius &amp; Jim got me even more hooked on it when we were kids. They used it to tame &amp; train me as they say."

"You've known them that long?"

"Oh yeah," Remus nodded. "We all went to Hogwarts together."

"When were you—" Tonks stopped, wondering how to ask.

Remus seemed to look right through her. "When was I bitten? Just before my fifth birthday."

"You were five?" Tonks gasped.

"Just about," Remus shrugged. "By Fenrir. Ever hear of him?"

"Yeah," said Tonks. "We new Aurors actually have to do a study on him since he seems to be attacking more often again."

Remus ground his teeth. "If Voldemort's returning, Fenrir would work hard to be in his good graces, if he had any."

"You say his name?" Tonks asked.

"Yeah, I honestly don't care."

"I see."

"Well, it's rather stupid to fear a name don't you think?" Remus went on. "Especially since its fake according to Dumbledore." Remus knew the proper name well enough from the First War, but he wasn't sure what the new generation of Aurors were being taught since he had been caught in the middle. Old enough to be part of the First War, yet only receiving his license now since, oh yeah, he's a werewolf.

"I guess so," Tonks dared to come nearer as he seemed nice enough. She promptly tripped over a chair &amp; fell flat on her face.

"Are you ok?" Remus asked, looking as if he wanted to laugh.

"Yeah," Tonks complained gingerly standing up. "I do that all the time. I almost failed becoming an Auror just because I'm so clumsy."

Remus finally laughed. "You'll grow out of it."

"I hope so."

"So what's your name?"

"Tonks." She blinked.

"Can I get a first name with that?"

"Tonks is my name," She repeated stubbornly.

"Your last name, but what about your first?"

Tonks glared at him. "Nymphadora."

"Lov—"

"Finish that sentence. I dare you."

"Ohh, well," Remus sighed. "Since you don't know our rules, I'll let it slide this time. But we Marauders have rules about dares."

"Marauders?"

"Jim, Sirius, Peter &amp; I," Remus explained a little but nothing about Animagic.

"Well in that case," Tonks began. "I take back the dare."

"Wise decision; only, the usual rule is you're not allowed. Once dared, it has to be carried through or you're exiled. So ...lovely name."

"Right that's it. Next time I come back, I'll have some silver."

"Bring some," Remus smirked at her. "I dare you."

Grrrr! "Maybe I will," Tonks grumbled. "Anyway, I get it now. I was surprised at first when I realised my uncle had a werewolf here. Usually the Blacks hunt your kind. But he actually befriended you. That would have driven his family crazy if they knew." She smiled at the thought.

"Your uncle is Sirius Black?"

"Yeah," Tonks nodded.

"So Jim would be to, in a way," Remus went on. "They're cousins a few times removed but still, small world."

"Such is the way of the..." They finished together. "…Purebloods."

"Well," Tonks turned to leave. "I'll make sure I have chocolate on hand for next time." She waved at him &amp; promptly crashed into the door post as she went out.

Remus awoke the next morning to find Sirius sprawled in the arm-chair, half asleep. He threw a pillow. Sirius started &amp; sat straight. "Looks like someone's feeling better." He tossed the pillow back.

"I've been fine since last night," Remus complained. "I want to get back on the job."

"You will later today," Sirius went around to Remus's good side &amp; slowly lay down. "Does it still hurt?"

"No."

"Then let me in," Sirius said. After letting a few moments pass but feeling no change in their link he added, "Still hurts doesn't it?" Remus just clicked at him. "That's good though. Even when it's shut down, we can no longer lie to each other."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Remus finally opened up. Sirius felt a pain jab his side. "It was a lot worse when it happened."

"I thought you were going to die," Sirius admitted.

"Hey, come here." Remus pulled Sirius onto his chest. "It'll take more than a knock like that to get rid of me." He began stoking Sirius's hair. He lifted up a faded lock of grey, inspecting it. Sirius was way too young to have so much grey. Remus soon had another grey coil on his finger.

"It's nice to be able to do this again," Sirius murmured, already falling asleep.

Remus pulled him up &amp; kissed him for a long moment. "You've been busy last evening." He pushed back Sirius's long bangs. "I could feel it."

Sirius bowed his head; his brow touching Remus's lips. "Yeah. A bit rough." He pulled away &amp; sat up to look out the window. "We uh ...Mad Eye was with us."

"You &amp; Jim?"

Sirius nodded. When he lay beside Remus again, he was crying. "We went to see Lily."

Remus actually shivered. "How did that work?"

"It hurt more than I expected," Sirius said. "Jim is really torn up."

Wincing, Remus shifted to lie on his good side so he could put an arm around Sirius. "It was the first time for both of you, wasn't it?"

"I never thought I would get a chance to go there," Sirius met Remus's eyes. "I thought I'd be stuck in Azkaban for good."

Remus put a hand on Sirius's face, passing a fingertip over his lips. Sirius shuddered at the touch. Remus leaned in &amp; kissed him. Sirius put his hand around Remus's head to hold him close. Remus finally pulled away a little &amp; looked down into his mate's eyes. "You never expected to love him, did you?"

Sirius blinked like an owl. What? "Moony?"

"It's ok," Remus said softly. "I understand what happened."

"Wait, I don't. What?"

"Never mind, Padfoot," Remus shook his head. "I get it. I really do." He quickly kissed Sirius once more, then lay down again, wrapping one arm around him.

"Oh no you don't!" Sirius turned to his side to face Remus. "You don't get to say something like that to me &amp; then drop off to sleep. Now what do you mean?"

"You really are quite dumb at times," Remus laughed. "You started dating Jim not for love but to try to undo the damage Orion did. But the affair continued, nearly a year. It turned into something more, didn't it?"

"Remus!" Sirius gasped. "I love you."

"I never said you didn't."

"Then where is this coming from?"

"Yeah, it happens sometimes."

"What does?"

"Sometimes people can be in love with someone &amp; not realise it," Remus said. "You still have some small flame for Jim."

"Ray—I—that—" Sirius stammered.

"It's ok Pads," Remus tried to calm him. "Really it is. I trust you now. I've learned my lesson long &amp; hard about trusting you. What you did for Jim is amazing. I'm not jealous."

"Then why'd you bring that up?" Sirius retorted.

"Because we promised each other never to cut out again," Remus explained. "No more secrets. There's still a small cloud. Open up Sirius. It won't hurt me."

Sirius passed one hand over the scars on Remus's chest. He slowly pushed the robe open completely. He gently caressed the bandage along one side, knowing another scar would appear. "Remus."

"It's ok," Remus whispered. "It's your turn to trust me."

Though Sirius had the control with others, when it came to Remus, he usually let the wolf do what he wanted. Sirius looked down at Remus, glancing over the uncountable scars &amp; ending up looking into brilliant gold eyes shot through with red. Both entities were fully aware. Sirius cast his shirt aside. "Come here." He kissed Remus hard on the mouth &amp; was soon lying over him. He suddenly let go the last block on their link. After all this time, it had been Sirius holding back, not Remus.

Through their bond, each could literally feel what the other one was experiencing. Sirius felt the stabbing pain in Remus's side as if it were his own. He put a hand over the spot again, holding it gently still as they moved against each other.

Remus stroked Sirius's arms as they kissed. He soon took his hands &amp; held them down by their hips as Sirius pressed against him with long thrusts. He arched his back, ignoring the complaints of his injury.

/You're wound!/

/Don't stop!/

Remus had more 'pressing' matters on his mind. He felt as if his whole body was on fire. His own desire coupled with the heat he felt from—through—Sirius nearly drove him mad. He growled softly at first, but soon had his fangs bared as he went over.

Sirius felt the power of Remus's climax as if it was his own &amp; it pushed him over. Sirius dug his nails into Remus's palms so hard, he drew blood. "Remus, oh!" He came with a strained cry through gritted teeth. They collapsed in a pile, wet &amp; shivering, though not from cold.

After several minutes, Remus finally breathed. "Now that is how the wolf mates."

"I felt everything you did," Sirius gasped breathlessly.

"Mhm, I did to."

They lay in each other's arms, slowly getting their pounding hearts back to normal. The sheets around them were soaked from the body bliss. Their skin tingled as if numb after the warmest touch &amp; it took time for their blood to slow after a rush so intense between them. Remus was still panting shortly, his eyes still gold but now flecked with green as Moony slowly submerged. He held Sirius tightly to his chest.

Sirius groaned, still shivering. The after-effects of that was long-lasting. He finally lay back a bit to catch Remus's nearly-green look. "I think," He began between breaths. "We just made love. Truly for the first time."

"_Oui (Yes),"_ Remus kissed him.

"I'm sorry Moonlove," Sirius gasped. "Oh what have I done to you? Making you wait all these years for something like this."

"Better late than never," said Remus. "But don't ever apologise. Not for Jim. Don't ever regret Jim. He'd be dead now if it weren't for you. Harry would never exist if it weren't for you. Don't you dare apologise for that! Understand?" Sirius nodded, petting back Remus's sandy wet bangs. "It was worth the wait."

"I hate my father, Moony."

"We'll get him," answered Remus. "All this is Orion's fault. Not yours &amp; certainly not Jim's!" He kissed Sirius again, holding it for a long time.

/We just shared love. Now share hate! Feel mine. Let it touch yours./

/He'll regret being born!/

When Remus finally pulled away, his eyes were again pure gold shot through with red, the madness of Lycanthropy. He growled softly, baring fangs. "Easy Moony, or there won't be anything left of that vile creature for the Dementors."

Remus hissed before stretching out to seemingly twice his length. Sirius heard a few cracks of joints. Remus was soon glaring gold at him upside down, slowly panting. Sirius knew Moony had taken over &amp; began to wonder if it was safe to allow it. Remus had been without a pack for so many years, it was a wonder he didn't go wild. "I know you," a deeper voice than what Sirius was accustomed to said. Moony was speaking to him, not Remus. He grumbled softly under breath, more of a purr than a growl.

Sirius smiled at him. "What, you want a belly rub?" A low rumble was the reply as Sirius began stroking along the long scars, slowly moving downward. What he did next, few people would do, thinking it would be stupid &amp; dangerous to try. Sirius leaned over towards Remus's ear which exposed his throat. A quick snap of jaws &amp; he'd be a goner but the thought didn't even cross his mind. "Hmm, or perhaps ... a bit...lower?"

Sirius ignored the low grumbles. Few people would be so bold but he had learned many various werewolf calls over the years with Remus. To most, a growl was a growl that meant stay away but he knew Moony was content &amp; lost little time moving downwards. "You do know you're supposed to be asleep right now, right?" Sirius teased as stroked him with a firm grip. Remus liked it rough about as much as Sirius did.

The werewolf merely whined in reply. He noticed Padfoot coiled up on the side of Sirius's neck, nose under tail as if sleeping &amp; began sucking at the spot. They both only lasted a few moments, having been mostly spent from the first time around. By the time he let go, his eyes were back to green &amp; Padfoot had scampered to Sirius's chest, dodging prison tattoos as she went.

"There you are," said Sirius, petting Remus's cheek.

"I haven't let him out in ages," Remus said. "Last time he came out, it was not my control &amp; he was being snarky at Harry. He needs to know I still have control of him."

"Snarky at Harry?" Sirius snickered. "Should I even ask?"

Remus grunted. "Harry was starting to take your side. While I agreed with Moony &amp; thought Harry was being ridiculous, I didn't want Moony interacting with him. Anyway, I ended up draining the Gryffindor hourglass."

"Draining?" Sirius sat up a little straighter, glaring.

"Had a big fight with Harry," Remus shrugged. "Docked more than all the points in the glass. Minus 50 points."

"MINUS?" Sirius just stared at him. "Well I hope an idiot such as yourself gave back double! Your own House, Remus! Sacrilegious!"

"Yeah yeah, I gave them back eventually," Remus defended. "Where's Jim anyway?"

"In a hotel down the street," said Sirius, still glaring. "He has three Aurors guarding him."

"Hmm still doesn't like hospitals, does he?" Remus stated. "Though I never understood why. He didn't used to be afraid of them."

"It's because of Orion, again ..." Sirius began.

"Everything goes back to that man!"

"He'll get what's coming to him soon enough," Sirius got out of bed &amp; headed towards the table where a pitcher of water stood with four glasses. He heard a two-note whistle from Remus. Sirius turned to look at him. "Really? A wolf whistle from you? That is SO lame Moony. Just so lame."

"Oh &amp; you walking around my hospital room naked when any one, maybe even a woman, can come in isn't lame?"

"Meh, girls love what they see," Sirius defended. Padfoot, who was sitting on her tail at Sirius's left side near his heart, rolled her eyes upwards in a 'no we don't' glare. Sirius pressed a hand on her as he poured out a glass of water &amp; brought it to Remus. "It has a simple potion mixed in that you should have before trying to get up again."

"I think after what we just did, I'll be fine," Remus took the glass &amp; glared at the cloudy water. Then he glanced at Sirius. "Would you get dressed? It's getting late. Someone's bound to pop in sooner or later."

"I'm thinking about it," Sirius teased as he looked out the window in the direction of the hotel James was in. Remus rolled his eyes, then downed his drink. "Moony, have you ever heard of Ignotus Peverell?"

Remus thought for a moment. "No, I don't think so. Why?"

"There's something wrong with James."

"Not another rapist!" Remus snarled through gritted fangs.

"What? Oh, no. Ignotus is dead hundreds of years ago," Sirius explained, ending with, "Jim's hiding something. I think something bad. The way he acted. It's all off."

"Well if I'm ever allowed out of here," Remus grumbled. "I can look into it."

Sirius finally picked up his shirt. "If you do, don't let Jim know. I don't want to set him off. Who knows what enchantment he's under? Plus, he said it affects Harry as well."

"Harry?"

"Jim kept needing to be reassured that Harry had his Invisibility Cloak," said Sirius. "If Jim got involved with something that's coming back to bite him, he might try to make Harry disappear."

"Well we've been out of contact with him for twelve years," said Remus. "Who knows what he got upto after escaping Orion?" He slowly started to get up. Sirius gripped him by the forearms &amp; pulled. Remus was soon standing though leaning a bit on Sirius. "I feel like I just got up after a bad full moon."

"You should get back in bed then."

"Nuh uh!" Remus growled stubbornly. "I've had it. We need to get back to work. I've been worse, you know that."

"You've never been shot at by silver."

"It's been removed," Remus argued. "Once it was out, I healed just fine overnight."

"You're too stubborn for your own good, Moonlove," Sirius gave up. "Oi! Don't growl."

"I haven't had chocolate in sixteen hours. I'll bloody growl if I wish until I get a fix! So bite me!"

"Open that robe of yours again &amp; I will," Sirius looked pointedly downward. Remus just growled again. "Get dressed you bag of fleas, so we can go down. I'll sign you out." Remus hissed long &amp; loud.

Once Remus was looked over one last time by a Healer, they said goodbye to Tonks &amp; stepped out into the street. They met the black man Sirius &amp; James had seen the night before with Tonks. He was Kingsley Shacklebolt, another Auror who was currently on guard for James, by the door of the hotel. He let them in &amp; they found James already in the lobby.

Sirius knew at once something was wrong but he didn't have time to ask as James latched onto him &amp; broke down on his shoulder. Remus stood by, waiting for James to collect himself.

"I didn't sleep all night," James finally said.

Remus watched the pair for a moment. "Prongs it was your first time, wasn't it? To visit Lily."

"Yeah," James sighed softly. He soon managed a quick smile. "I do have some good news though."

"What?" Sirius asked.

"If it has nothing to do with chocolate, it can't be good," Remus groused.

James released Sirius &amp; stepped away. "We lost Mad Eye Moody."

"He's dead?" Remus gasped.

"I wish," James huffed. "No, he's just gone to take over your job at Hogwarts."

"Oh," Remus relaxed. "Yeah I know. I sent him a letter summarizing what I had covered when I had that job."

"You don't know what a letter is," James said. "It's more likely you sent him an encyclopaedia. I actually feel sorry for him. The poor owl to, that had to carry that weight."

Remus just glared as Sirius groaned. "Harry'll will love that."

"Yep," James agreed. "He's officially Harry's problem." He took something out of his pocket. "As for you Moony, this is yours." He handed over a large chocolate bar.

Remus took it gleefully &amp; ripped it open. "You know it's been sixteen hours without this stuff?"

"Sixteen hours? Brutal! Sirius is right. You did nearly die then," James teased. "I mean, what kind of lame-assed husband doesn't give his mate what he needs eh?"

"Exactly," Remus agreed. "Maybe I should have married you instead. You at least take care of my addiction."

Sirius scoffed. "Ok I'll just stand over here &amp; pretend I don't exist."

"You do that," James encouraged.

Sirius made a rude hand sign. Remus returned the gesture &amp; then both suddenly burst out laughing.

James cross-rolled his eyes shut for a moment. "Children. I work with children."

"So," Remus started when he could breathe. "You ready to get back on the job, Jim?"

James was silent a moment before saying, "There is something else I need to do first." He stepped away from them, not meeting their eyes.

Sirius shared a look with Remus before saying, "Jim, we need to keep on him or will lose him. Can't it wait?"

"I guess, but then that will be another year missed," James said. "It's September first tomorrow."

Realization suddenly dawned on Remus. "Ohh! We definitely have time for that."

The next morning at five minutes to eleven, James, Remus &amp; Sirius arrived on Platform 9 &amp; ¾'s. James quickly glanced around &amp; soon spotted a small sea of red hair. He hurried over. Mrs. Weasley was already trying to shove everyone onto the train. Harry's dark hair stood out in stark contrast to all the red. James pushed through towards him. "Harry, hi."

Harry stared at him. He had always wanted to have his parents see him off, like everyone else. It had always been the Weasleys, not that there was anything wrong with them, but it just wasn't the same. Now here his father stood after years of thinking it would never happen. "Dad?" Harry pushed his trunk onto the train, then went to James. "Hi." He noticed Sirius &amp; Remus standing nearby but both were glancing around warily. All three of them were in Auror's uniforms, covered over in thick dark cloaks which the rain easily ran off of.

"I can't stay long," James said. "I just wanted to see you off for once." He glanced up as the train whistled. "Oh, there it goes. Get on now." He pushed Harry towards the door.

"Thanks for coming Dad," Harry smiled quickly before jumping on board.

"You're going to have a bit of fun at school this year," James suddenly winked at Harry as the door banged shut.

Harry went into a compartment with Ron &amp; both leaned out the window. The train started moving as the dialog of the Weasleys continued. Something about a change of rules.

"Dad," Harry finally managed to yell out the window. "Do you know what's going on?"

"Yup!"

The train moved faster. "You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"Nope!" James laughed as he &amp; the others slowly got smaller.

"Owl me!" Harry demanded &amp; as James merely waved, the train turned the corner &amp; the platform was out of sight.

* * *

_(AN: American Top Gear fans may recognize a line or so near the end lol)_


	43. Chapter 43

**(43) What Could Have Been**

"Well that's it," Remus pushed against the edge of the desk to make his chair roll backwards. "If I do this anymore tonight, I'll go cross-eyed." He rubbed his eyes with both hands.

"What are you doing?" Sirius asked from the couch he was stretched out upon.

"Trying to look up your pal, Ignotus."

Sirius stared at him, then the computer. "You think he's a muggle?"

"I don't think anything about him," Remus complained.

"But isn't that," Sirius pointed at the computer. "A muggle invention?"

Remus rolled his eyes, then wished he hadn't. "There are magic sites to go on."

"Really?"

"Padfoot, I'm not the only muggle born magician in the world," Remus said. "We do have our places on the internet. Password encoded. Muggles can never see them."

"I guess," Sirius shrugged. "I didn't think you'd still be at it though. It's been a few weeks since it happened."

Remus cast him a soft smile. "Have you or Jim ever gone back to Lily?"

"No," Sirius shook his head. "I don't think either of us will do that until we get rid of Orion; though, that's starting to look impossible. It's been ages since we've had any leads."

"Maybe his obsession with Jim is finally waning."

"Not so long as I'm alive," Sirius said. "I'm actually the real target so to speak." He hesitated before explaining the motive of using James to punish Sirius.

Remus closed his eyes for a moment. "No wonder you never liked your family."

"Oh they were a hoot," Sirius derided. "You'd love them, I'm sure."

"I guess in a way Harry's lucky to have Mad Eye for a Professor," Remus went on. "As an Auror, he can help keep Orion away from Harry."

"Let's hope," Sirius got up &amp; came over. "Let me take a shot at that thing."

"You?" Remus stared at him.

"I am more muggle-minded than magical," Sirius tugged impatiently on Remus's hand to get him out of the chair.

Remus got up &amp; moved away. "This ought to be rich." He snickered as he went to the couch.

Sirius ignored him, staring at a picture of an ocean at night under a crescent moon. "Hello computer."

"You don't speak to it."

"I've heard you many times."

"Swearing at it is another thing," Remus pointed out. "Usually when it loads slowly or something like that."

"Whatever," Sirius muttered. "Ok how do you start this thing?"

"It's already on."

"I mean how do I look at what you were looking at before with words &amp; whatnot?"

"Padfoot it's nearly two in the morning," Remus whined. "I don't feel like teaching you computer basics right now."

"Aww come on Moony!"

"Tomorrow."

"This is tomorrow."

"You know what I mean!"

"Oh go to bed then," Sirius retorted. "I'll figure it out myself. Always have when it comes to muggle things."

"You do that," Remus said as he got up, patted Sirius on the head while telling him the password &amp; then went to bed. It was the worst mistake in his life so far. When he got up the next morning, he found the computer all pulled apart, screw by screw, the monitor broken &amp; the great Grim flat on his back in the middle of the mess, snoring loudly. Remus gritted his fangs, cast Repairo, kicked Padfoot, then sat down to the computer only to find that a mega-wyrm had destroyed everything so well, that not even Remus knew any magic spells to clean up that mess. Remus glared gold at his mate. "I hate you."

"I'm sorry," Sirius pouted.

"I REALLY don't like you right now."

"Hey at least I found out Ignotus was a pureblood," Sirius smiled triumphantly.

"We already knew that!" Remus just glared at him. "Do you have any idea how much one of these things cost?"

"I'm a Black. Name your price, I'll pay double."

There was a knock on the door. "It's too close to Full Moon for something like this," Remus pulled Sirius back so that he could go to the door instead. "I'll deal with you later!" He opened the door. "James. Hi. Come in." He stood aside. "What's wrong?"

"Harry's name came out."

Remus exchanged looks with Sirius. "That meant ...absolutely nothing. What?"

"The Triwazard Tournament at Hogwarts," James tried again. "Four champions. Never happened before. Harry's a champion."

"WHAT?" Sirius &amp; Remus exclaimed.

James doubled over. "I can't lose him. Not after everything else I've lost. Not my son!"

"Surely they can undo it, or stop the Tournament altogether?"

"No," James whimpered. "The magic is binding. What's done is done! Dumbledore's furious. He's trying to find out who bewitched the Cup."

"Alright, alright," Sirius pushed James back &amp; settled him onto the couch. "Harry's much younger than the other Champions. He won't be able to keep up with them &amp; he can be forced out."

"People have died in the Tournaments," James said. "I know quite a bit more about these things than either of you, including you Sirius, for once. My Great Grandfather was a champion. Also he was the only survivor."

"Yeah but…but that was centuries ago," Sirius defended. "There's a better safety system put in place now. They've been working on it all summer remember?"

"I hope it's enough Padfoot," James gave up as he put his head in his hands.

"I had a feeling something like this would happen," Remus began.

"I know," James grumbled. "I KNOW! I should have listened to you."

"I'll start looking into the names of the visitors at Hogwarts," Sirius offered. "Try to get to the bottom of this."

"Harry has one good thing going for him," Remus added. "Mad Eye Moody. He can watch over Harry."

James looked up at him, blinking away a few tears. "Will I never get a moment of peace in my life?"

Sirius inwardly groaned as Remus sat on the arm of the couch closest to James. "Run with us this Full Moon," Sirius said. "Just for one night. We miss our Stag."

James looked away. "I don't even know when it is."

"Tomorrow night," said Remus.

"That was ..." James stopped, rubbing his brow. "I guess I'm not a Marauder anymore. Forget about Full Moons."

"Well it's time to rectify that," said Sirius. "Join us. Please! It's been years."

James was silent for so long that the Wolfstar team had almost given up on their Stag. "Maybe," He finally said. "I might come along. It ...has been ...a long time." Sirius &amp; Remus both nodded agreements. James stood up. "But for now, I'm going to the Ministry of Magic. I want to look into these spell-binding magics to see if I can pull Harry out."

"We'll come with you," said Remus.

When they had apparated to the Ministry, James led them through its many halls. He seemed to know exactly where to go &amp; it was all they could do to keep up with him. James soon brought them down a few levels &amp; along a dusty hall. He finally opened the door to a large room that looked like a library. Sirius read the sign on the door. 'Spell-binders'.

"Uhh Jim?" Sirius began as Remus closed the door behind them all. "What is this place?"

"Hardly anyone uses it," James explained. "But here is where old spell-binds are collected &amp; counters to them are found."

"Spell-binds?" asked Remus.

"Like strong secrecy charms you put on people so they can't tell others things you've told them or," James glanced at Sirius. "Family ties. Things like that."

"Are we allowed here?" Sirius asked.

"When has that stopped a Marauder?" James teased before going on. "In this part yes. But similar to Hogwarts, there is also a Restricted Section behind a wall that only an elect few know about. Although the shielding around it is far more complex than at Hogwarts."

"Have you ever been in there?" Remus said with a knowing smile.

"Once," James said slowly, looking at Sirius. "It's how I was able to get the spell I used to make that wall in Hogwarts, you know for…for what I wrote."

Remus glanced around at the shelves. "So what are you here for this time?"

"Look for anything involved with these Tournaments," said James. "I want to pull my son out of that if I can."

The three of them went to work &amp; it wasn't long before each had ended up in their own section. Sirius had worked his way through two &amp; a half aisles for the next hour before rounding a corner &amp; literally bumping into Remus.

"Hey now," said Remus. "Let's not get frisky in a place like this."

"I like it when you get frisky," Sirius winked.

Remus playfully hissed at him. "Find anything yet?"

"You're still as cute as ever you know."

"Padfoot."

"Oh I remember it well," Sirius went on. "I had gotten off the train at Hogwarts before you when we started fourth year. I looked back &amp; you just stepped off the train into a ray of sun. I had a crush on you ever since."

"You," Remus turned away for a moment to study something very interesting on the next shelf, blushing furiously. "You never said that before."

"Well," Sirius sighed dramatically. "I'm saying it now."

"Alright," Remus took his time to return a book he had in his hand to the shelf. "Fine. First time I noticed you like that was when you first showed up as Padfoot."

"Ahh so I fell first did I?"

"How do you figure? It was still fourth year."

"Yes but we hadn't even started fourth year when you stepped off the train," Sirius pointed out. "The start of it was still a few minutes away. I learned Padfoot during the spring break, nearly a year later."

"Ohh I guess so," Remus gave up, feeling about ready to giggle like a stupid schoolgirl. He suddenly felt himself pressed between a bookshelf &amp; Sirius. Remus forgot all else for a moment &amp; returned the kiss, knocking off several books in the process.

"See? It's good to get frisky in a library," Sirius whispered in his ear.

"This isn't a library," Remus said. "Now, did you find anything?"

"Well let's see," Sirius began groping Remus, sliding one hand downward.

"Not now Padfoot!" Remus ordered, though made no attempt to pull away. "What if Jim walks in?"

"Wouldn't be the first time," Sirius said. "Besides, he can join us."

Remus pushed Sirius away &amp; began picking up books. "I don't think he'd want to."

"You're right," Sirius finally stopped playing. "That was a rather stupid thing to say."

"Don't worry about it," said Remus as he turned &amp; headed back the way he had come with Sirius close behind. They returned to the central aisle where the door opening back into the hall was at one end.

"Where's Jim?" Sirius peered down one aisle then another. He felt a panic rise in him. Had James been taken?

Remus sniffed around. "This way." He followed the trail towards the back &amp; ended up in front of a solid stone wall. "It just ends here."

"Are there any others?" Sirius gasped weakly, fearing the worst. "Anyone else with him? Was Jim alone?"

"Yes Padfoot," Remus put a hand on the wall. "He's alone."

"Then where is he?" Sirius demanded. "He knows better than to wander off. What's he playing at?"

"I think he's in the Restricted section," Remus continued to feel the wall. "This wall must be the entrance to it. I don't know how to get in though. I didn't even know this place existed."

"He better die in there or I will kill him!" Sirius snarled as he began pacing. He suddenly thumped a fist on the wall. "You hear me you walking tick post? I'll kill you!"

"Padfoot, calm down."

"Calm down?" Sirius huffed. "Every time he disappears, something bad happens. Usually, that involves Orion!"

"There are no other scents besides Jim," Remus tried again.

"He should have at least told us, or maybe even brought one of us along," Sirius complained. "I have enough grey hairs on my head! I'm too young for more."

Not knowing what else to do, the pair stood guard at the only possible entrance they knew of, where the trail of James had stopped. They waited for nearly three hours with Sirius growing more &amp; more anxious &amp; even Remus's patience was nearing its end.

James stood within a circle of pale blue fire. It was the only light source in the dusty stone halls full of lost spell-binders. He had let Sirius &amp; Remus do the work on anything pertaining to the Tournament, using the opportunity to dig up ancient family ties. He had a large book in one hand written by a Potter of long ago. Only the name back then wasn't Potter but Peverell. James had wanted to undo the family binds since the incident with Sirius in the graveyard.

The old magics were already failing. James remembered the day Dumbledore had asked to see his Cloak. Did Dumbledore suspect what his Cloak really was? The cast-off mantle of Death itself? James wanted to release the failing spells &amp; rework them so that he or his direct line could speak if they wished, but the new spells would still shroud his Hallow in obscurity. Of course, anyone studying outside history, such as trails left behind of particularly the Wand, could still pick things out, but it was difficult.

So he now stood in the center of cobalt blue fire. He cut a deep gash through his left palm, using his blood to prove who he was. James had reversed most of the enchantments laid down by his forefathers but it was a slow process as spells that were damaged had become corrupted &amp; had to be picked at.

James finally put the book down &amp; wrapped his hand in a small scarf had carried in his pocket for the occasion. He pulled out a blank sheet of parchment &amp; using a copying spell, he copied out several pages from the book to study later. He would have to come back after working out a seemingly impassable spell that was so worn out, James nearly missed it. Finally, he put the book away &amp; rolled up his parchment. James put on his gloves, mostly to stop Sirius from seeing the wrapped wound &amp; stumbled back to the wall. He had used a lot of energy working through ancient spells &amp; the blood loss, little though it was, hadn't helped.

Remus, who had ended up sitting against a shelf, suddenly stood up. Sirius looked around as the wall began grinding &amp; slid to the side. James came out slowly, gripping the doorframe with one hand for support as he leaned over a little. His hand slipped &amp; he would have crashed to the floor had not Sirius dashed over &amp; caught him. Sirius helped him down.

"Did you...find anything on the Tournaments?" James asked quietly between breaths.

"Nothing," Sirius shook his head. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Resting."

"Jim," Remus came over. "are you in trouble?"

"What do you mean?" James leaned on Sirius as they both knelt on the floor.

"I mean besides Orion."

"No," answered James. He put a hand on Sirius's shoulder &amp; pushed himself up. As both stepped away from the entrance, the wall slid back into place. "Well, that's that then. We'll try something else. Let's go."

_"Non (No),"_ Remus growled softly. "You're hiding something. Jim, let us help. You can tell us."

James laughed at the ridiculous irony. That was the problem. He couldn't tell them. Not yet anyway. "There's really no need. I'll tell you soon. Not now." Remus clicked at him. "Shut up. I said not now. Just wait." Next, James punched Sirius.

"OW! What did I do now?" Sirius began rubbing his shoulder.

"I heard the walking tick post comment."

"Good," Sirius grumbled under breath.

Remus rolled his eyes as James headed forward, leading them out of that place &amp; back up the levels into the grand hall with the fountain. It was then that everything went wrong. Remus caught sight of a familiar man up ahead &amp; called out, "_Bonjour Papa (Hello father)!"_

John Lyall Lupin turned around &amp; was about to say something but his eyes landed on Sirius who was between Remus &amp; James. Sirius glared back &amp; Remus felt a strong anger rise up in his mate. John looked at the floor for a moment. "Ray, what are you up to?"

"Helping Jim out with something," Remus cast a fleeting look between his father &amp; his mate.

John glanced over James but it was obvious to all that he was avoiding Sirius. "Jim, it's good to see you again."

James was about to say something but Sirius cut in. "I told you. Didn't I tell you?" He snarled in an accusing voice. "You should have listened to me. Damn you!"

"Sirius," Remus tried to hush him.

"I didn't want to upset him any more," John said quietly. "I thought I was doing the right thing."

"You thought wrong!" Sirius actually clasped his wand.

"Whoa wait!" Remus put his hands out as he &amp; James each reached for a man. James tried to pull Sirius back while Remus shoved his father towards the wall. "What's going on?"

John &amp; Sirius shared a dark look before Sirius threatened, "Would you like to tell him or should I?"

"Remus, give me your hand," John reached out to his son. Remus took his hand, rather confused. John pushed back the cuff of Remus's right sleeve.

Remus tried to pull away. "Don't!" He cast a worried glance at Sirius.

"Easy," John ordered. Remus bared fangs but did no more. John pushed the sleeve right up &amp; traced a long scar following up Remus's arm. "You think the wolf did this, Sirius? Nay, Remus did! Losing his whole pack, he tried suicide."

"Wh...?" James stared at Remus.

"I didn't want to upset him more," John want on. "His heart had been ripped out of his chest. It was all I could do to keep him alive." John let the material fall &amp; released Remus who turned away unable to bear the looks of either James or Sirius. "I lost his mother. I lost my other son. I couldn't risk it! So no, I couldn't tell him. Just in case."

"Fine," Sirius finally snapped after a moment of recovery. "Fine. Remus? Not long after I was put into Azkaban, your father came to see me."

Remus whirled around, looking between the two men as James just stared into space in shock. "Why?" Remus demanded of his father.

"I wanted to rail at him," said John. "I yelled myself hoarse for what we thought he did to you. I asked him why he would hurt you so much. I demanded to know why!"

"Then I told him about Animagic," Sirius took over. "I told him everything &amp; how Peter had framed me. The only thing I didn't know was that Orion had Peter under his power. But either way, I told him enough to get me out. I told him to tell you exactly what I said &amp; you'd have it figured out in a heartbeat. Ray, did you ever get such a message from your father?"

Remus glared at his father. Slowly, the eyes swirled to gold. "_Non,"_ He whispered softly, taking a step towards John. He glared at him for a minute, growling softly under breath.

"Ray," John began softly. "Easy. You'll rouse your lupine tem—"

With the back of his right hand, Remus swiped his father aside so hard, John went crashing into the opposite wall. John slowly rolled onto his back &amp; sat up. He wiped blood off both his lips. "Twelve years Papa," Remus said almost under breath. "I hated my own mate for twelve years &amp; YOU! _Tabranac!_ You could have put a stop to that right from the beginning? How could you not tell me?"

"I didn't believe him," John defended.

"That's no excuse!" Remus shot back through tears. "NO EXCUSE AT ALL! HOW COULD YOU?"

"I was protecting you Ray!" John shouted back. "Please try to unders—"

"_Ta geule!" _Remus snarled. John remained silent. He had raised Remus to behave &amp; respect his parents. Remus had never sworn at him so badly before but John felt he deserved it. "I can't—how co—I—oh!" Remus stammered &amp; finally fell silent for a moment. He suddenly growled long &amp; loud; it reverberated throughout the halls.

"REMUS!" James yelled. "We're in the Ministry of Magic!"

Remus looked between James &amp; Sirius, glared once more at his father, then turned &amp; fled the scene. "Remus!" Sirius ran after him.

"A-are you alright?" James stammered breathlessly before running down the hall without waiting for a reply.

A few hours later, Sirius entered the front door of his home in the muggle side of Cardiff he shared with Remus &amp; slammed the door so hard it bounced right back open again. Sirius ignored it. He stormed into the living room &amp; glared at the computer.

"Did you find him?" James stood up from the couch. Startled, Sirius stepped back before shaking his head &amp; sighing. "I just got here myself, hoping to run into you or Moony." James hesitated before adding, "Are you alright?"

Sirius began pacing as he snarled, "I will wring that man's head from his shoulders. I'll pull out all his insides. I will—"

"Sirius," James stopped his tirade. "Remus is just upset."

"I was talking about John."

"Oh," James sighed. "Any idea where Remus would go?"

"No he's too furious to let anything else in."

"The bond?" James cocked his head a moment. "How does that work anyway?"

"It's mostly an exchange of emotions," Sirius said. "Though we can sense each other's intentions. Feel each other's trust. Sense any lies."

"You feel each other's pain to," James put in. "What is that like for you during full moons?"

"Our link is basically non-existence during his lunar shifts," Sirius explained. "It's due to the two entities sharing one place for a while until the transformation is complete. Then the link perks up with Moony &amp; Padfoot. But I do feel cold &amp; sore while he's shifting. Like all my joints seize up. It's still pretty bad."

"But you two can also use words. Why don't you ask him where he is?"

"It's only when we're focused on it," Sirius went on. "But I think we have to be in close proximity for that."

"So no chance of asking him exactly where he is then," James gave up.

"Oh I wouldn't be able to do that even if I was right beside him," said Sirius. "He's infuriated &amp; it's all that goes through right now."

"I don't blame him," said James. "But we should get back out there. The Ministry is up in arms, thinking a wild hungry werewolf is around. I tried explaining but everyone's too much in an uproar. Literally," James smirked for a moment. "Anyway, I left John to sort them out. Figured I can help you catch Remus before a hunter does."

Sirius made a noise in his throat that sounded a lot like growling &amp; marched back out the door. James kept his distance as he followed. Sirius prowled around Cardiff, looking for Remus, hoping he'd come home sooner than later. Sirius stopped by the wall next to the river &amp; stared into the water.

Knowing Black temper all too well, being cursed with it himself, James cautiously stood nearby. "You know," James tried after a few minutes. "We're both assuming Remus will come home right now. Obviously, he wants some time to be alone."

"You saying we should just give up?" Sirius retorted. "Just go home &amp; risk a hunter getting him?"

"No," said James slowly, trying not to rouse Sirius. "I think we should look beyond here. Think about where he might sneak off to. He wouldn't go to France. He wants to avoid his father. He would know that what he did in the Ministry may attract unwanted company. He wants a place to hide until he calms down. Any ideas?"

Sirius stood back from the wall &amp; held out a hand. "Just one." He apparated them to the gates of Hogwarts. They went to the Whomping Willow &amp; headed along the secret path to the Shrieking Shack. Sure enough, Remus was lying on the bed, glaring gold at the ceiling.

Remus turned his head to see James &amp; Sirius standing in the doorway. "Well there's a sight I thought I'd never see again," He smiled quickly before going on. "But really, I thought this would be the first place either of you would look."

"You moron," James came over &amp; smacked Remus. "You gave the entire Ministry quite a scare."

Nonplussed, Remus looked back at the ceiling again. "Mmm the Ministry had it coming."

"They're still recovering from the Dark Mark at the Quidditch World Cup, then you go &amp; pull a stunt like that," Sirius glared. Remus just shrugged.

James put his hands up in defeat. "You're lucky we found you instead of some hunter."

Remus merely scoffed at him as Sirius sat down on the bed. "Sorry about my father, Pads."

"Ah don't mention him," Sirius waved it away with one hand. "At least you found out the truth even if it did take a few years." James sat down on the other side of the bed as Sirius went on. "Better late than never." He put one hand over Remus's right hand.

Remus pulled away as he sat up suddenly, snatched off James's glasses &amp; lay back again, sucking on an earpiece.

"Moony," James whined. "Grow up."

"I did," Remus defended. "But I think I deserve a relapse today."

"Moony," James reached out. Remus growled. "Why you!" James sat back, arms crossed &amp; pouting. "I hate canine blood," he muttered under breath. "Don't really like cats either." At that, Sirius &amp; Remus burst out laughing. James just glared at them. "Bunny. I think I'll exchange my werewolf for a bunny. Yeah. That'll work. A bunny." The Wolfstar pair just laughed harder. Sirius fell off the bed.

"They bite," Remus went back to nibbling one side of the glasses.

"Oh &amp; you don't?" James made another attempt to take his glasses back but Remus pulled away.

Sirius finally got back on the bed &amp; this time, he lay down next to Remus. He snatched the glasses &amp; tossed them to James who held them up with one hand, glaring at the black venom along one side. James began trying to clean them using the old tattered blanket. Sirius took up Remus's right hand again. He petted his arm along the place where the scar was.

James watched for a moment before saying, "What a pair we make," He pressed a finger down on the scar. "Don't ever try this again ok?"

"It was just the one time," Remus pulled away.

Silence fell among them. James kept his eyes on Remus; though, his mind was in the past. Sirius closed his eyes &amp; pinched the bridge of his nose. Try as he might, he couldn't hold back. He started laughing, knowing it was a stupid time to do so but Sirius always had a problem with laughing out of nerves. It was the thing he hated most about himself. He finally managed to speak in a normal voice. "Boy are those lines ever familiar." He cast James a look. "Ray I know a bit more than 'just one time' happens. If you need to talk..."

"Oh Papa put me through enough therapy to last me two lifetimes," Remus muttered. "I'm over it a long time ago."

"How'd he find out?" James asked quickly, getting the topic off therapy before either of them tried to coerce him into it.

"Papa found me," Remus answered. "It was nearly too late. I guess I bled out about as long as you tried." /He sure got off that topic in a hurry./

"That explains why I felt so weak all of a sudden a couple days before your father came to visit me," Sirius said. "Whatever left I could feel of our link was nearly severed." /It was a nice try. Maybe someday he'll listen./

"Yeah," Remus looked away. "That's why."

James let out a long silent breath. He returned to cleaning his glasses. "Bit of venom here," he said, moving even further away from the subject. "I think someone needs to be milked."

"I got along over twelve years without that," Remus complained.

/Remus, try to get back to therapy./

/Why? I'm good now./

"How did you take care of those sacs?" James asked, oblivious to the secondary conversation going on.

/Not you! I mean so we can suggest to Ja—/

/Out of the question!/

"Ignored the pressure for months at a time," Remus said. "I don't like the feeling, but I don't like feeling that stuff come out either." /Do NOT force him, Sirius. Just wait. The time will come when he's ready. Not now!/ An air of annoyance floated over their link, but Sirius exchanged no more words.

"It's because you never got used to it," Sirius said, giving up on the idea of therapy for James for now. "You don't hunt human prey like a normal werewolf. So you never have a chance to release your venom."

"It's a small price to pay," Remus shrugged. "When I finally do give in, I'd usually chew on a solid chocolate ball."

"If you'd have done that regularly," James began. "It wouldn't be so thick. This is like brick mortar almost." He held up his glasses. "I can't even get that stuff off. Thanks a heap." He threw them back at Remus who promptly went back to chewing at the same side.

"Why don't we get rid of that stuff right here &amp; now?" Sirius suddenly asked, earning a golden glare.

"Might as well," James agreed. "After, I could check on Harry."

"Good idea," With both hands, Sirius reached for Remus while James attacked from the other side.

The snarl reverberated off the walls.


	44. Chapter 44

**(44) Like Father, Like Son**

Hermione pulled Harry away from the breakfast table &amp; the pair of them stepped outside. Harry was grateful to get away. Others in the school had talked about him or to him in an odd sort of way ever since he had come back. The topic in the wizarding world all summer was that Daily Prophet James Potter had put his interview in &amp; ever since then, people walked on eggshells around Harry.

But now his name was the fourth one out of the Goblet. It seemed like people would never stop talking about him. Harry attempted to convince at least Hermione that he didn't put his name in the Goblet. She believed him. Harry felt only slightly better though, as she would probably be the only one. He wondered if Sirius would believe him. Or Remus? Or his father?

As if reading his mind, Hermione said, "Harry you should write to Sirius or your Dad about this. They would want to know, if they don't already."

"They're busy trying to get Orion," Harry reminded her as they headed towards **the lake where the Durmstrang ship was moored.** * "You know Dad doesn't want me communicating with him until that man is caught."

"Well..." Hermione stammered. "For a good reason but...but this is important."

Harry looked across the grounds, trying to think. He saw something moving towards them. "Or perhaps I don't have to," He started running down the hill with Hermione close behind. "Dad! Sirius? What are you—hi Professor."

"I'm not your Professor anymore," said Remus as he came up behind his two friends. He looked rather grumpy, but managed a weak smile for Harry. "Just Remus or Moony will do."

"Did you ca—" Harry began.

"OW!" James whirled around &amp; punched Remus. "You bite!" He switched to Prongs.

Remus clicked at him, then muttered under breath. "You deserved it."

"Professor!" Hermione stared at him.

"Remus," he corrected.

"All this time, I trusted you," Hermione grumbled.

"Oh hush," Remus retorted. "I only like Animagus meat." He snapped suddenly in the Stag's direction. Prongs side-stepped away. He suddenly whirled around &amp; kicked up his back hooves. There was a thud &amp; a grunt. Remus clasped both hands around his stomach &amp; bent over. He wheezed out, "Oh! Three inches lower &amp; I'd have been castrated!"

"Prongs!" Sirius moaned. "I felt that to." The stag just sent him a rather smug look.

Remus slowly stood up. "Granted, the Stag's old &amp; chewy no—OW!" Prongs had just jabbed a horn-tip into Remus's behind.

Hermione rolled her eyes as Harry &amp; Sirius burst out laughing. Harry finally managed to ask, "So did you catch Orion then? I mean, you're all here."

"Not yet," Sirius answered as Prongs raised his head. (He had been about to gouge Remus again.) "We heard about your name coming out of the Goblet yesterday &amp; came to check up on you."

"I didn't put it in," Harry said automatically &amp; repeated what he had told Hermione.

"Harry relax," Remus put both hands on Harry's shoulders. "It takes a very powerful spell to trick that Goblet. We know you didn't do it. The question is, who did &amp; why?"

"We're going to talk to Dumbledore," Sirius added. "Once the horn-head can switch back again that is." Prongs just huffed indignantly.

When the group drew near to the Entrance Courtyard, James was finally able to change back. Rubbing his shoulder, he complained under breath, "Know what? I hate werewolves!"

"Know what? I don't care," Remus stuck his tongue out as James passed him by.

_"_You are a_ 'ben zonah',"_ James replied as Hermione pushed open the large doors.

"That wasn't French," Remus said. "Is it Canadienne then?"

"No," James shook his head. "I spent some time in Israel. It can be a really really bad word when used alone."

"Isr—was that Hebrew?" Sirius exclaimed.

"Yep," James said, then whispered something in Sirius's ear.

"Oh ho!" Sirius doubled over laughing.

"Come on Dad," said Harry. "What does it mean?" James leaned over to tell him but Harry pushed him away. "If you're just going to tell us all anyway, might as well say it out loud."

"No, there's a woman present," James nodded at Hermione. "It's that bad." Hermione turned away, blushing furiously as she tried not to laugh. James glared at Sirius. "Unlike some people, I don't swear in front of ladies. At least not in a language they understand."

James was about to say something more but they were interrupted by Dumbledore. "You caused quite a scene at the Ministry, Remus." The werewolf merely curled his upper lip in disgust as Dumbledore went on. "You're father's quite worried about you."

"I do not want to speak to him," Remus turned away. "Or of him."

"He made a mistake," Dumbledore tried again.

Remus growled under breath. "A mistake that nearly cost me not only my marriage but also my life." He purposely walked away &amp; shoved through the large doors leading into the Great Hall. They closed with a bang behind him.

An awkward silence followed. Dumbledore finally broke it. "Well, I assume you're all here to talk about the incident of Harry's name in the Goblet?"

"Can it be undone?" James asked.

"Not that we can see," answered Dumbledore. "Though it isn't for lack of trying. For the moment, I have put Mad Eye in full control over Harry to guard him as best possible."

"If we can find out who did it, perhaps we can have the spell cancelled," said Sirius. "What with three schools here, it could be anyone. I suggest starting with Drumstrang, considering."

"We are looking into all three," said Dumbledore. "But for the moment, stay for the duration of the breakfast hour. Once Harry is in class, I'll need to see the three of you in my office in regards to," he glanced around at the comings &amp; goings of various students. "Other more personal matters." His eyes lingered on James for a moment before turning &amp; leading the way into the Great Hall.

Remus was seen sitting with Katie &amp; Fred at the Gryffindor table. James found a place near Harry with Neville &amp; Ron on his other side. Sirius was standing still in the aisle staring at several platinum blonde heads.

Remus soon got up &amp; went to him. Smiling, he said, "Having fun?"

"Veela. Twelve years of Azkaban. Not a good mix," Sirius gulped. Remus doubled over laughing. "It isn't funny Moony!"

"Can I let you in on a secret?" Remus whispered softly in his mate's ear. "They're really affecting me to."

"Well, what to do with all this sudden burst of sexual energy?" Sirius teased.

"Hmm," Remus purred. "Why don't we go some place to find out?"

"Yep. Right behind you," Sirius agreed. Remus rolled his eyes at the pun as he hurried for the door.

Shaking his head, James rubbed his brow. "Do those two ever stop? Least little thing can get them going."

"You're one to talk," Harry pointed out. "Grabbing Sirius whenever you could back then. Staring at Mum in a bikini when you went out on that yat—"

"Why don't you shut up?" James ordered irritably. Harry snorted into his pumpkin juice. "I seriously don't get it."

"That joke only works on paper you know," said Harry.

"I mean the Veela," said James.

"They give off a high level of hormones," Hermione who was sitting across from them explained. "Veela have an amazing power of seduction, more so than vampires."

"I suppose so," James shrugged.

Harry watched as James pointedly focused on filling his plate. He realised suddenly, the Veela didn't affect him. Not one bit. Just like the Dementors. Harry forced his jaw to unclench, hating Orion ever more. "You should try the egg rolls," Harry handed one over, changing the topic. "They're really good."

Veela were not mentioned again while they finished breakfast. Harry was sure to keep the topic as far away from anything remotely sexual as possible, which was an amazing skill considering an actual Marauder was sitting with them. Though he knew the basics of it from the photo album, Harry asked about milking Remus to keep James occupied. "It's because he never ..." James rubbed his shoulder. "Rarely bites. Most werewolves attack &amp; feed whenever they can, often turning people in the process. Or they fight with each other, drawing out blood &amp; venom. The flow of venom is constant. There is a small pressure point behind each fang of a werewolf that when rubbed a certain way, releases the poison. Remus has no use for it which backs up his venom so we fix it at least four times a year."

"What is werewolf venom like?" Hermione asked timidly.

Harry stared at her. "You don't know?"

"Don't be silly Harry," Hermione scolded. "Very little is known about werewolves. I only know what we read about them. Most of which is proven wrong by Professor Lup...or Remus I mean."

"Thick &amp; black like molasses most of the time," said James. "It's really sticky. But during the fall, it becomes honey-like. That's during the breeding season."

"I thought every day was a breeding season with the Wolfstar team," Harry laughed.

"Wolves mate any time," James smacked his son lightly over the head. "But unlike regular wolves, a werewolf can only become pregnant during a short time per year. Remus may not be with a bitch, although Sirius can act like one half the time," James paused as everyone laughed. "But he still has the same cycles as any other moon dog."

"You should write a proper book on werewolves," said Hermione.

In a rare moment, James actually laughed. "Both Sirius &amp; I have written more than one notebook full of tips &amp; observations." He fell silent for a moment. Then he spoke softly as if he was talking to himself. "A lot of them would be in the attic."

"The...attic?" Harry pressed, having a vague feeling of where that attic would be.

"Mhm," James downed the rest of his juice, finished his plate &amp; stood up. "I have to meet Dumbledore later on today so I'll be around for a bit. See you later."

Harry watched him go. He noticed that James never once spared a glance at any Veela. Looking at the Veela, Harry noticed that they would avert their eyes as James passed. Their shiny hair would fade &amp; wilt for a moment as he drew near to any one of them on his way by. They to, knew what had happened to him &amp; Harry suddenly had a lot more respect for them. So they weren't just mindless sex machines. They actually were capable of caring &amp; keeping their distance from one who had been so injured by something they themselves would thrive upon.

On the way to the first class, Harry mentioned it to Hermione who stared long &amp; hard at him before saying, "You will never find records of rape in the Veela nation. They play a lot, yes, but they understand the word no &amp; respect it." She sighed before adding, "Orion Black is a curse to them. If they get their hands on him first, your father will have nothing left to exact revenge upon. It wouldn't be the first time they tore a rapist apart. They have no respect for that kind of thing. Remember the World Cup? Their appearance changed when they got mad. They can be so brutal, that their appearance can change to even more ugliness with their rage. Don't ever piss off a Veela. They are really ugly."

"An ugly Veela?" Ron had suddenly trotted up beside them, missing the first half of the conversation. "Hermione, you're insane."

"Speak for yourself," Hermione shot back. "Fawning over them like a lovesick unicorn."

"There's no need to be jealous," Ron grumbled &amp; Harry took it as cue to drop back.

"I'm not jea...where do you get an idea like that?" Hermione's shrill voice echoed throughout the corridor.

Harry covered his ears while muttering to himself. "Hear we go again."

"Fine! Know what? I'll admit I can't stop staring at them!" Ron retorted. "Not one single man on the planet can resist a Veela woman. Happy I admit it?"

"That's a lie!" Harry was suddenly livid. "I can name one man."

Ron turned on him. "Excuse me? You've been drooling over the Veela ever since the Quidditch World Cu—"

"My Dad is not affected by them!" Harry glared. He reached for his wand &amp; aimed at Ron. "Take that back Weasley. Take that back right now!"

"Ron!" Hermione put a hand on his arm, looking horrified.

Ron sighed heavily &amp; said in a low voice. "Bloody hell, Harry! I wasn't having a go at your Dad. I hate the mess he's in. Everyone does." Harry huffed but lowered his wand. The three of them walked the rest of the way to their first class of the day in an awkward silence.

They sat separately from each other throughout Charms &amp; it was only when they were leaving that Hermione managed to get near Harry. "Ron was only picking on me. He didn't mean anything by it."

"You two always have to fight about something," Harry shrugged.

Hermione sighed. "He meant no insult to your Dad though. I'm sure he'll be more careful about it anyway. He'll find some other way of teasing me, I'm sure." She rolled her eyes.

At that moment, they rounded a corner to enter the History Of Magic classroom. There stood Ron, having one hand on Lavander Brown's shoulder, smiling at her while they were talking. Two words shot through Harry's mind in a nano-second. Oh &amp; _merde (shit)_! Too late, Hermione noticed the same thing. She looked so mad that Harry wondered if she would have a sorcery seizure. He gulped. "Looks like he found a new way alright." At that, he hurried his pace &amp; put himself between Neville &amp; Dean.

Harry wondered if it could get any worse. He thought the fight was bad last year, but would they break their record this year? At the same time, he was also angry with Ron &amp; to make matters worse, most of the school seemed to side with Ron as well. Harry was glad that Gryffindor didn't share any classes with Slytherin that day; but his joy was short lived when he encountered Draco in between classes.

There were times that taking the path through the Greenhouses would shorten the trip between classes. Lost in dark thoughts, it took a while for Harry to realise someone was trying to get his attention.

"Psst! Hey Potter!"

With one hand on the door in the wall that led inside the castle once more, Harry stopped &amp; looked up into the eyes of Draco Malfoy. A few of his friends stood behind him, pushing the Gryffindor group aside. "What?"

"Think you're pretty smart do you?" Draco hissed. "Getting your name into that Goblet. Think you could take the spotlight off your Dad's issues by doing that? How swe—"

Both Draco &amp; Harry's next memory was waking up in the hospital ward. They had apparently had a fight so physical they knocked each other out. The young Fireseed saplings had been destroyed by the brawl &amp; Greenhouse 12 was in shambles &amp; burning to a pile of ash.

Harry closed his eyes &amp; rubbed his aching head as the memories came flooding back. Never had Draco approached him on the matter of his father &amp; Harry was starting to believe that Draco had some sense in him. Now he realised that Draco was merely waiting for the perfect opportunity &amp; did he ever get it, to! Harry tried to sit up. Madam Pomfrey chose that moment to give him some vile potion before moving over to Draco who was scowling from across the room. Harry got to his feet &amp; started for Draco.

"Harold James!" His father's voice bellowed from the doorway. "Get your ass over here NOW!" James was pointing with his wand in the direction of the hall behind him. Harry stared at him in surprise. He had always wondered what it would be like to have a parent yell at him. Now it seemed he was about to find out. "Get in there!" James herded Harry into the unused classroom.

"Stag's first real encounter with fawn," Sirius said to Remus as the pair followed.

Remus nodded. "Let's observe &amp; report."

"Would you two bugger off?" James tried to slam the door in their faces.

Sirius jammed his boot in the crack &amp; pushed in. "No Alpha rank, no orders."

"I hate you both," James rounded on Harry. "Boy, what the bloody hell is wrong with you?"

"What?" Harry stared at him. "You've gotten into plenty of fights here."

"Fights yes. Destroy the buildings? NO!" James shouted before huffing. "As for fights, now is not the time to go teasing offspring of Death Eaters."

"He started it," Harry defended.

"I don't care," James stated. "Now is not the time for such antics. Quit making me repeat! Also you didn't have to take out the entire Greenhouse."

"Technically, it's a Smoke-house right now," Harry fought hard to keep a straight face. He was enjoying this. He had never dared to hope for a day with an angry father yet it was happening.

"HAROLD SHUT UP!" James snapped as Sirius &amp; Remus collapsed into a pile of giggles.

"He's right you know," Remus managed to say through tears &amp; Harry finally burst out laughing as well.

"Not helping!" James seethed at the pair, then glared at Harry. "What are you laughing about, you crazy brat?"

"I'm sorry!" Harry sobbed, rubbing his sides. After several moments, he finally managed to set his face straight &amp; explained.

"How touching," James groused, pointing his wand in Harry's face. His horns came right out. "I'm trying to discipline you."

Harry shut right up &amp; stood at attention. "You're doing an excellent job." They glared at each other before Harry doubled over laughing once more.

James stammered. "Har—you—wai—" He cleared his throat loudly &amp; pointed in some general direction. "GO TO YOUR TOWER!"

"But I have more classes to go to," Harry pointed out.

Was there smoke coming out of James's ears yet? James huffed then pointed in the opposite direction, using both wand &amp; horn. "GO TO YOUR CLASS!"

"Yes sir!" Harry actually had the nerve to salute before running away.

Without thinking, James followed. Thud! His humungous rack was now too large for doors &amp; he could go no further. This only made the Wolfstar team sob harder behind him. Ignoring them, James yelled after his son, "Harry when I come up with some proper come backs for this, I'll owl you!" He slammed the door &amp; turned his glare to the heaving pile of the Wolfstar team still sobbing on the floor.

"That went well," Sirius gasped.

"Slaughtered," Remus added. "Oh man! You were OWNED!"

"Lily would be so proud," Sirius continued.

James snarled through gritted teeth. "Lily would have had that boy in line faster than he could blink."

"Holy Phoenix, your horns!" Sirius breathed for a moment, clutching hard at Remus's arm.

"Yeah I noticed," James complained, rubbing the back of his neck. The unexpected connection of his horns to the doorframe had jolted his entire body.

There was a moment of silence as the pair slowly stopped laughing while James inwardly boiled down to a simmer. Remus was soon lying back in Sirius's arms as they spread out on the floor. "He does make a good Alpha though." James just scoffed &amp; focused on pulling his horns in. Remus stretched contentedly before going on, "You know Prongs, for a first attempt at scolding, it wasn't that bad."

"He thought it was funny," James grumbled.

"No he didn't," said Remus. "He didn't think any of it was funny. He was merely happy he had the opportunity that he thought he would never have. Harry's missed out on a lot growing up. He's trying to catch up."

"Well it isn't my fault, now is it?" James snapped.

Remus closed his eyes a moment as he felt Sirius hold him closer. "I didn't say that."

James knelt down &amp; stared at the floor. "He isn't the only one who's missed out."

"I think he knows that," said Sirius. "Knows why to."

"Everyone knows why," James muttered.

"I hate that it had to come to that," Sirius tried to console him.

James suddenly scoffed. "Smoke-house. Smart-mouthed much?"

"Well when you look at the lines that bred him," Remus said. "How can he be anything but? There is so much of you in him, but a lot of Lily as well."

"I guess."

Remus pulled away from Sirius &amp; crawled to James. He roused Moony, switching his eyes to gold. Whining like a pup, he pushed into James's chest, then flopped over to stare up at him, showing his Omega submission by lying on his back. An altered-voice that was part growl said, "You might have better luck next time, if you ask him what the fight was about."

"Maybe I'll try that next time," James began petting the werewolf's head. "Dear Merlin you've gotten big, especially on full moons."

Remus-Moony merely growled contentedly, softly hissing through partially opened fangs. Being of a friendly nature, it was left uncorrected. James soon located some chocolate &amp; gave him a piece. He switched to Prongs &amp; laid down with all four legs folded under &amp; put his head down. The moment his muzzle hit the floor, Remus began chewing on the right horn. Prongs rolled his big eyes shut, heaving a long-suffering sigh.

"Now that's something I thought I'd never see again," Sirius said as he came to join them. Remus released the horn &amp; licked his chops. The gold faded from his eyes. Sirius sat down &amp; wrapped his arms around the Stag's thick neck. "Oh Jim, we'll get you through this mess. Some how."

Remus stood up &amp; tugged on the horns. "Come on. We were going to see Dumbledore before getting side-tracked by Harry."

Prongs reluctantly lurched to his hooves. He bleated while shaking his body, then switched back to James. "That's where I was going as well," James opened the door &amp; the three of them stepped out. James suddenly stopped abruptly, making Sirius &amp; Remus collide into him from behind.

"Jim what?" Remus began. Then his eyes landed on another man who was glaring at James.

"You," James hissed long &amp; low.

"So," Snape sneered. "So it is unfortunately true. You're still alive!" He reached for his wand.

* * *

*** From Harry Potter &amp; The Goblet Of Fire book chapter 'The Weighing of The Wands'**


	45. Chapter 45

**(45) The Delicate Art Of Trust**

In a rare moment, Harry was actually in the library going through books he normally had no need for. He spent most of the lunch hour there. Hermione found him sitting at a desk in one far corner with a pile of books on the floor.

"Potions will be starting in fifteen minutes," said Hermione as she sat down. "What is all this for?"

Harry looked her over, thinking hard. What he was planning, he didn't want anyone involved with. But he needed help. He wasn't as good as picking spells that he could use out of a book like Hermione could. He put a little black book 'Reversal Spells' aside. "I got in trouble with my Dad today."

"The whole school heard," Hermione glared.

"Don't be mad," Harry said. "I quite enjoyed it really. You know how much I've missed out. I never thought something like that would ever happen."

Hermione's expression softened slightly but she still had a stern voice when she said, "Still, you shouldn't have blown up the greenhouse Harry. It's going to take all week to fix the mess you &amp; Malfoy made &amp; I'm not referring to just the repairs. You lost 150 points for that."

"Plus a week of detention," Harry groused. "At least I'm not sharing it with Malfoy. He's in detention for a week to."

Hermione sent Harry an even darker look. "What did he do that made you so mad?"

Harry shrugged. "Nothing really, I guess. But I was already in a bad mood no thanks to Ron."

"Ron didn't mean it like that," Hermione repeated.

"I know," said Harry. "I'm trying to find a spell that will make someone unable to tell a secret. Like if I do something to someone, they can't tell anyone else unless I say so. Remus used one on me last year, but in French. I can't find even that one. Granted I wouldn't know it if it was staring me in the face since I can't read a lot of French."

"You starting to pick up the language 'cause of Beauxbatons?"

"No," Harry shook his head. "Remus is French. Dad, Sirius &amp; Peter speak it to, better than I. They also know a bit of Canadienne as well. But all I know are the swears in both languages." He laughed as Hermione glared. "Anyway, I'm just doing a study on the charm Remus used. Or trying to."

Hermione gave him a questioning look. "Well that sounds interesting. But I don't think I should help you." Harry's heart sank. He would have to do this alone. "Your Dad would kill me if I helped you run off after Orion."

"Ori...no Hermione," Harry groaned. "How am I supposed to even do that? Orion is no where near the school. I can't just disappear like that. People would notice."

"Well it wouldn't be the first time you go running off after Black," Hermione muttered under breath.

"Sirius is different," Harry defended. "Anyway, I just want to look into it, maybe find an alternate version to Remus's French one though it doesn't really matter which. It has nothing to do with Orion."

Hermione sat back in her seat, looking at Harry, studying him. She had a feeling Harry wasn't telling it all, that he was scheming something. "If you make me regret this Harry, you'll be sorry." At that, she led Harry down a long aisle &amp; handed over a book. "The Secretive Binding Charm is in there."

The blast sent a shockwave over the marble floor, making the stone ripple &amp; break with power. Snape landed hard on his back at the base of the opposite wall. James walked resolutely towards him as Sirius &amp; Remus slid down the wall they were pressed against to the floor, feeling weak from being so close to the distorted magic.

Remus put an arm around Sirius's shoulders to help him up. "We have to stop them. James is too messed up right now. He could kill Severus."

"I don't think he cares," Sirius said.

"That's the part that worries me," Remus finally managed to stand. "They've always hated each other. But we're not schoolboys anymore."

"You always were a fool, Snivelus!" James taunted. "You know what was done to me. You're to slow with that wand of yours. I only need lift a finger."

"Why didn't you die?" Snape said under breath.

"I wasn't there," James replied. Snape pushed himself up &amp; glared. James jammed the tip of his wand under Snape's chin &amp; pressed upwards. "Wand's mostly a prop to me now," James went on. "But I can still use it." He jammed it harder, making Snape grunt.

Snape spoke low so only James could hear. "Which Black taught you the most on how to use it?" His mouth twitched into a sneer. A horrific look crossed James's face. With a yell of rage, he raised his hand.

"No, Jim!" Remus &amp; Sirius both landed on him at that moment. They crashed to the floor.

"James," Remus gasped as he sat up. "You can't do that. Not to the Potions Master of this school."

"Did you hear what he said?" James shouted at him, pushing Remus away. "You didn't hear it, did you?" He rolled over onto his front &amp; cried into the cracked floor.

Remus tried to put a hand on his shoulder but was shaken off. "Jim, you two always exchanged words."

"Not like this," James continued to weep against the floor.

Sirius got down on hands &amp; knees on the other side. "What did he say?" James repeated it under breath. Sirius jumped to his feet. "You bastard!" He punched Snape so hard, he broke his nose. "I knew you were worthless &amp; vile. But not that low! How could you?"

Snape clutched his nose with both hands, glowering at Sirius as James stood up &amp; leaned against Remus. He shot a look of pure evil at Snape. Out of the three of them, it was unclear by now who hated who more. Remus kept a firm hand on James, hating that he was stuck in the middle once again.

"You better clear off Snivelus!" Sirius continued to rage at him. "Or I'll end up in Azkaban again, this time for a murder I actually commit!" He turned to James &amp; put a hand on his cheek, drying away tears.

Still clutching his nose &amp; keeping his head back, Snape turned to walk away to the hospital wing. Ron, Hermione &amp; Harry &amp; several other students met him on the stairs as they were coming down to head for his class. "Professor?" Hermione stared first at him, then the three Marauders down below.

Snape just grunted &amp; continued on his way. James broke away from his two friends &amp; ran to the base of the stairs. "Don't ever forget who owns her heart!" He snarled through gritted teeth. "Don't you ever forget it! Especially when you look at him!" He ran up &amp; grabbed Harry by the face. "Look at him. Look at his eyes! DO IT!"

Snape shook his head &amp; pushed by. James released Harry, wrenched his old invisibility cloak from out of Harry's left pocket &amp; headed back to Sirius &amp; Remus. He marched past them &amp; went to the wall. He punched it, then crouched down, leaning his forehead against the cool stone. His shoulders heaved with dry sobs as Sirius tried to put a hand on them. James stood up quickly &amp; moved away. He headed for the nearest door leading outside &amp; stumbled out while putting on the cloak. Sirius shared a quick glance with Remus before both took off after James.

"What the bloody hell was that all about?" Harry asked the moment the pair had gone outside.

"I don't know," Hermione shook her head. Actually, she appeared to be shaking completely.

"How'd your Dad know where your cloak was?" asked Ron.

"It's the same place he used to keep it on himself," Harry shrugged. "Probably figured I'd put it in the same place."

"Let's go," Hermione pushed Harry &amp; Ron forward a bit. The ever-growing group of students eventually made their way down to the dungeons to wait for Snape.

Remus stopped at the edge of the lake &amp; looked out over the water. "Lost it. He went into the water. I can't track him." He sat down on the shore. Sirius dropped down beside him, staring across the lake. Remus put a hand on Sirius's hair, petting back more than a few grey strands. Sirius was slowly but surely recovering from his term in Azkaban but it had worn him down. Despite being in what was so-called 'the prime of life', Sirius had more grey hairs than he should have at his age. Remus moved closer so he could put his head on Sirius's shoulder. "What did Severus say?"

Sirius put his face in his hands but didn't answer right away. Remus felt a wave of emotion wash over their link. Hate. Sadness. Worry. Sirius finally repeated it under breath. Remus gasped in shock. "I can't believe he'd use that," Sirius went on. "How could he?"

"No wonder Jim is mad," Remus was still reeling. "We've got to get Orion!"

"We need to find Jim first."

"Come on," Remus stood up &amp; offered a hand to pull Sirius up. "He just needs a moment, after something like that. There is nothing we can do right now. He destroyed his trail with water. I can't sniff him out &amp; neither can Padfoot."

Sirius allowed himself to be pulled up &amp; followed Remus back towards the castle. Suddenly he stopped &amp; glanced at the Forbidden Forest across the lake. "I know where he is." He took off as Padfoot towards the Forest, running along the beach.

The Grim slowed to a walk as he crossed the threshold. Remus followed him deep inside. He wasn't sure where they were going as this part of the forest was on the far side of Hogwarts &amp; well away from the Shrieking Shack. It was unlikely that the pack had ever come out this far. He didn't recognise the area but Padfoot seemed to know it well. Remus sensed a change of air current &amp; knew that a clearing was ahead of them.

Sirius soon appeared. "You've never been here but," he paused &amp; pointed ahead. "Our altar is ahead. That was our Summoning Grounds."

Remus gave him a long hard look. "So this is the place where you cut James up like a butcher?"

"I d...wh...how...oh never mind," Sirius grumbled.

"I sort of figured it out when Peter mentioned his troubles with Bloodclaw," Remus said. "It was for Swift Horn, wasn't it? After what Orion did the first time."

"Yeah," Sirius slowly made his way forward &amp; suddenly they were in the clearing.

Remus looked around. The altar stood forlorn &amp; moss-grown near the center. There was a ring of rocks nearby that served as a fire pit. The few rays of sun that got through the thin branches only succeeded in adding to the gloom of the place with its weak ghostly light. James was not to be seen.

"So this is where it all began," Remus smiled softly, looking at the altar.

"When we came to do the final rites for the Merge, this was the place," Sirius pointed at the altar. "A Merge requires a blood offering. We all cut our hands. I was on the right hand side, Peter on the left &amp; James was on the other side from us now. There is a hand print of blood from each of us on that altar."

Remus inspected the altar more closely. "There's a lot more than just a few hand prints of blood here."

"All that is from Jim when he tried to speak to Swift Horn," Sirius glanced at the old stains. "He lost a lot of blood. Oh Merlin! It killed me to do that to him. How I hated him for it! The Stag is the tattoo with the most lines."

"That was very dangerous," said Remus.

Sirius didn't answer. He stepped up to the altar &amp; stretched his right hand over it. Slowly he brought his hand down until he was hovering just over the surface. He closed his fingers on air &amp; pulled. The Invisibility Cloak slid off into his hands &amp; there lay James staring up at the sky.

"I felt it was necessary," James muttered, glancing at Remus. "But I misused it."

"What do you mean?" Remus sat down on the edge.

"Swift Horn warned me, but I didn't understand," James explained. "He said, 'One of your own will betray you to death.' At the time I thought he was referring to me. It was that moment I planned to murder Orion for what he did to me. I thought Swift Horn was trying to tell me to stop or else I'd get myself killed but I didn't care. Turns out he meant something else. Halloween in 1981, when Voldemort killed Andrew, thinking he was me, then Lily &amp; tried to kill Harry. It could refer to one of two people. Either Zephyra who was supposed to be one of us with her relationship with Peter; or Orion, who is unfortunately one of my more distant family."

"But Jim," Sirius began. "You're not dead. Swift Horn said you would die."

"Andrew looked like me &amp; that's all Swift Horn saw. Besides, I was dead to the whole world for how many years? Only Orion knew the truth. The whole truth, more so than me at first. Also," James put both hands over his own heart. "There are more than one way to die than just physical. If you don't think I'm dead inside Padfoot, you're an idiot."

Sirius raised a brow. James was serious &amp; had meant that as an actual insult. Remus sighed &amp; looked away. He had known since the incident at the World Cup that James was no longer the same.

The three of them remained silent for a long time. It was James who spoke again. "If I recall correctly Padfoot, I apologized for making you cut me up." Sirius merely grunted &amp; crossed his arms. "You know there were very few people I trusted back then. You were the one who understood me the most. You performed well."

Sirius half-smiled &amp; looked at the ground. Remus watched him, not missing the double meaning of James's words. /It's ok Padfoot. I understand. You did perform well, taking care of Jim like that./

Sirius heard their link &amp; tried to look up at Remus but couldn't look him in the eye. Oblivious to their telepathy, James took his cloak back &amp; wrapped it around himself so only parts of him showed up.

Remus slowly reached out &amp; put a hand on James's half hidden shoulder. James did not pull away. "We should get back to Hogwarts."

"If I see that man again, I'll blow the castle sky-high," James said. He gasped in a sob. "He won't survive."

Sirius sat down on the other side &amp; slowly laid an arm across James's shoulders, his hand finding Remus's on the other side. "He had no right to say that, Jim. No right at all!"

James leaned against Sirius at last, putting his head on Sirius's shoulder as he broke down once more. Remus leaned over him, holding James between himself &amp; Sirius. From that point on, there was a silent agreement among the three of them that Sirius &amp; Remus could handle James any time without permission. Nearly everyone else had to stand aside &amp; allow James to come to them if he felt safe. Harry was the only other that James allowed near him.


	46. Chapter 46

**AN: **I'd rate this chapter an X &amp; I'll have a line of easy-to-see X's before &amp; after for those who wish to skip the scene but not the chapter so they won't miss too much of the story. There is a violent scene between Sirius/Remus in a moment of extreme play. (It's consensual but still …warning ahead.) I don't usually write it that detailed but anyway. Also I didn't feel it appropriate to add too much detail with Harry reading. This at least is in 'real time' not 'diary time' &amp; Harry is no where around …lol

* * *

**(46) Love &amp; Hate**

"Do sit down," Dumbledore offered three plump armchairs. As Sirius, Remus &amp; James dropped into them, he went on. "I was beginning to wonder if you were coming at all."

"Sorry, I was yelling at Harry."

Sirius &amp; Remus turned their faces away, snickering. Dumbledore half-smiled. "He &amp; Mr. Malfoy caused quite a scene earlier." He raised his chin a little, staring at James. "As did you."

"So bill me for the cracked floor," James grumbled.

"I will," Dumbledore returned evenly. He opened the drawer in his desk &amp; pulled out three small rolls, handing one to each Marauder. "Orion is in London," He stated as he sat down behind his desk.

"London?" James gasped weakly.

"We have a shield put up around the area he is in, near Cardiff, so he can't apparate out," Dumbledore went on. "It is a very large shield that is taking a lot of power from many Aurors so we can't hold it long. We're moving in tomorrow first thing at dawn. I thought I would offer the job to you three first but I understand if you don't want to go near him."

"I'll do it!" The three of them said quickly as one.

Dumbledore gazed at each of them in turn. The resolve was clear on all of them. "Very well, report to Kingsley Shacklebolt in Cardiff at dawn. He will let you under the shield's edge." He came close to James &amp; said in a lower voice. "Be sure to remember to leave something for the Dementors." James nodded quickly. Dumbledore moved away. He spoke more to himself but everyone heard it. "You two were always among my best Aurors."

"Thanks for remembering that," Sirius retorted. "Twelve years late but you know what they say, better late then never."

"Sirius!" James stared horrified at him.

Dumbledore turned back &amp; locked eyes with Sirius. "No one knew what was going on except Orion Black. He never offered any help. Sirius, I am truly sorry for this whole mess, not just for you but involving James especially."

"Sirius," James began. "Everything is Orion's fault. Don't go off on Dumbledore for Orion's account."

"I just wish people would have remembered my loyalty," Sirius said. "Wish they thought about how strange it was I had suddenly supposedly switched sides for no reason. Maybe someone would have figured it out long before now."

"How could anyone figure it out?" James declared. "We are unregistered Animagi! No one could ever understand us!"

"Gentlemen please!" Dumbledore tried to calm them before James had a seizure. "Sirius has every right to be upset."

"Yes," James agreed. "But not at you."

"I've said my piece," Sirius shrugged, equally concerned about another sorcery seizure. "Forget it. What's done is done."

After a moment of awkward silence, Dumbledore flicked his wand to a cabinet at the back of his office. Three packages came zooming out &amp; one each landed in the Marauders' laps. "Those are the latest Auror uniforms. Also, there have been some changes. A uniform isn't always a requirement anymore if one is under cover. Causal gear should be kept on hand for such occasions. Remus, I'm sorry it took me so long to get you a uniform. I'm still having to bend a few arms at the Ministry."

Sirius &amp; James were both smiling widely at Remus who was staring down at the package. He had dreamed &amp; hoped for this moment for years. "There have indeed been a few changes," Remus finally spoke.

"Come on," Sirius stood up &amp; held a hand out for Remus. "I can't wait to see you in that uniform."

James coughed loudly. "More like out of it. Ow!" Both men had just punched him in the head.

"Dumb stag," Remus complained as the two of them headed for the door.

Rubbing his head with one hand, James got up to follow, scowling all the way. "Jerks." Before he let the office door close, he turned back to Dumbledore. "Probably going to 'jerk' off to." James fled as a bolt of magic from Dumbledore's wand ricocheted off the door frame, shooing James out.

Sirius &amp; Remus headed into an unused hall &amp; locked the door. James had gone on ahead to be alone, not yet ready to strip down in front of friends or family. Sirius opened up the package &amp; pulled the uniform out, then began to get undressed. "I can't believe this might end tomorrow at last."

"Then the real work begins," Remus tossed his shirt aside.

"Real work?" Sirius stared at him a moment.

"The trial &amp; all the charges," said Remus. "It'll take a while."

"At least he'll be behind bars," Sirius began to get changed once more.

Remus came up behind him &amp; put a hand on Sirius's right shoulder, over the mark of Azkaban; two rows of numbers. The top was what prisoner number he was &amp; the bottom was what cell he was in. "I wish we could get these off," Remus said in a cracked voice.

Sirius stood straight &amp; turned to face him. They were both topless by now &amp; Sirius put a hand over Remus's ripped chest, tracing scars. "They're no different from your scars."

"I'll make him pay Padfoot," Remus whispered, pulling Sirius close. "I'll make him pay for what he did to you." He kissed Sirius.

_**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

They were soon working on each other's pants. Once free, Remus shoved Sirius hard against the wall &amp; nipped at his throat, cutting in to draw blood. The roughness of the stone cut Sirius's back. Remus stroked Sirius with one hand while grabbing Sirius's hair &amp; pulling back with the other. Sirius cried out as the edge of a loose piece of stone cut into his flesh near his spine. Remus held Sirius against the wall while stroking him, grating his nails along the flesh. Sirius was soon twisting against the touch, causing more scrapes of sharp stone against his back. Remus smiled &amp; suddenly wrenched Sirius forward so that he fell to his knees.

Remus crouched down, keeping his hand in Sirius's hair. He moved around to his side &amp; leaned over to sniff at the oozing cuts. He was soon licking at Sirius's back while holding his hair hard, forcing Sirius to stare at the ceiling. The only time Remus licked human blood was during their play. It didn't turn the wolf mad as both were high on hormones. This was the blood of his mate.

Using his human teeth between his venom-filled sabers, Remus bit into the edges of the wounds, earning tears from Sirius. After ripping at each cut, Remus moved back in front of Sirius &amp; stood up. He gazed down at him, growling long &amp; low. His golden eyes gleamed in the dimly light hall. Remus leaned down &amp; kissed Sirius again hard on the mouth, nipping at his lips until they were bruised.

Sirius could taste his own blood on Remus's lips. His back was sore from the cuts &amp; his neck ached from having his head held back. His bottom lip was clamped firmly between Remus's teeth. He was harder than a diamond but Remus ignored it. Sirius knew that if he tried to handle it himself, he'd really suffer. He smiled into the kiss &amp; did just that.

With an angry growl, Remus pulled away. He shoved Sirius down flat on the carpet &amp; pried Sirius's fingers away. Remus lay over him. "You'll regret that mistake."

"Make me," Sirius taunted.

Remus reached over to their clothes lying on the floor nearby &amp; grabbed a wand. He aimed it between Sirius's legs. "Crucio." He whispered softly while gazing down into Sirius's eyes, looking for weakness. It worked well enough to make Sirius arch his back, but he gritted his teeth &amp; refused to cry out or give in. It only took one guess to know what Remus was thinking about to feel hate strong enough for that spell.

Remus released almost immediately. They played dangerously but both knew where to stop. While Sirius lay shaking from the torture, Remus knelt down &amp; took his length into his mouth. The moment Sirius recovered &amp; began thrusting, Remus pulled away &amp; lifted Sirius to his knees. Sirius was soon returning the favour. But he tricked Remus again. He brought the wolf near the edge &amp; then bit down hard, earning a yell through gritted fangs. Remus leaned over Sirius's head, gasping. Sirius pulled away &amp; lay down.

"You'll pay for that," Remus growled in his altered voice. He went down on one knee &amp; ran a hand up Sirius's front, then locked his jaws around the throat &amp; held on hard enough to stop Sirius's breath. Once Sirius had arched his back against the pressure on his lungs, Remus released him, only to put one hand underneath to flip Sirius over.

Padfoot was stretching against the spine. She flipped to her side &amp; went to sleep. Whatever the pair was doing had no effect on her. Remus nipped at the spot where she lay, then grabbed Sirius by the shoulders &amp; plunged in hard. His nails slightly transformed to the wolf's claws &amp; scraped Sirius down both arms, holding him firmly as he thrusted hard.

Sirius gasped when Remus hit the g-spot several times in a row. He lifted his head back as he felt the nails drag down his biceps. He shuddered, knowing they were both so close to the end. He felt Remus suddenly bare down on him harder than before &amp; a moment later they both cried out as they finished.

_**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

Remus slipped off after a moment &amp; lay against Sirius's side. They were both panting hard &amp; it took several minutes to recover. Sirius turned to face Remus who put a hand on his chest. "You ok?" Remus asked softly, licking Sirius's nose.

"Mhm."

"We haven't done something like that in years."

Sirius put a hand on Remus's cheek. "I've missed the full power of your touch."

Remus smiled, though it was a sad sort of look. He sat up. "Thank you for trusting me again." Sirius fell silent, knowing Remus meant something more than just their antics. "Our trust was one of the first things to go...back then." Remus went on.

Sirius sat up as well &amp; took Remus by the face to look at him. "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."

Remus spoke with a voice nearly lost &amp; distant. "I will never misjudge you again. No matter how bad things look."

"Nor I you," Sirius whispered. He leaned in &amp; kissed Remus, now gentle instead of bloody.

"Lie back," Remus grabbed the nearest wand again. "Let me heal you up." He suddenly winced. "Though you owe me a well-placed healing charm." Sirius merely laughed at him. Being the one with more damage, he was healed first. Sirius then took care of the bite he had given Remus. While he let the wound heal, Remus shocked him. "Did you &amp; Jim ever play like this?"

Sirius dropped the wand &amp; glanced up horrified, but Remus was smiling. "Uhh ...do you really want to know?"

"Pads, its ok," Remus said for the umpteenth time. "I'm just curious is all."

Sirius finished healing the wound before answering. "We talked about it once. But no. Orion taught him sexual pain in a bad way. I wanted to undo it. Undo everything that man did to Jim. But we never got that far. The only time I ever had him tied up was when I cut Prongs out of him. Now you know why I hated Jim so much for putting me through that. I was no different than Orion, making Jim suffer with no pleasure at all."

"You still did a lot for him," said Remus as they both finally started getting into uniform.

"I've often wondered if it was enough," Sirius said. He picked up the belt with the wand sheath &amp; put it on. He suddenly laughed. "Remember when we first became mates?"

Remus growled. "Don't even go there Black! Just don't!"

Sirius doubled over laughing. "Your Dad walked in on us. Oh man was he ever mad!"

"I think seeing you blindfolded &amp; strapped to my bed didn't help matters at all," Remus finally managed a snicker. "What a fiasco that turned out to be."

"I wish I could have seen his face."

"HIS face! What about mine? I was positively horrified!" Remus exclaimed.

"He must have looked so surprised," Sirius laughed.

Remus made a face, gaping wide-eyed &amp; gawking in horror. "Remus what the fucking hell are you doing? Get off that bed this instant!" Then he relaxed. "That was about it. You giggling like a school girl didn't help."

"Hey I was blinded &amp; harnessed to your bed," Sirius defended. "What else could I do?"

"You could have shut up," Remus groused. "I've never heard Papa swear like that before then, when he told me to stop; which of course I couldn't," He went on in a huff. "It would have killed me to stop in the middle of a sealing a marriage."

"I'm not sure what pissed him off more," Sirius gasped for air. "The fact that you were barely 17 yet already having sex, kinky sex at that. Or that we were in the house doing that in your bed or that you're the dom."

"Actually it's 'cause you're a Black," Remus said after a laugh. "Papa didn't mind me being friends with you or Jim, but he always fretted over the fact that you're both part of the werewolf killing club that is the Black family. It's why I didn't mention who my chosen mate was when they tried to pull me out of school. I knew they would hate the fact I would bond to a Black. I wanted to break it to them."

"Ohhh hell yeah you broke it to them alright!" Sirius burst out laughing again.

"_Tas Toi (Shut up),"_ Remus gave Sirius a smack. "It's not my problem Papa came home from work three hours early. I thought we had the time."

"At least he took off."

"Yeah straight to my mother at some party," Remus muttered. "It's why I sort of consider our first time in Hogwarts, in the bath, to be our proper first time. No one walked in on us."

"I enjoyed both times," Sirius purred.

Remus put a hand on the door handle but didn't open it. Sadness flooded their link. "It broke him almost as much as it broke me, when you were put in Azkaban. It was like...like all his fears about me bonding to a Black came true."

Sirius leaned against Remus from behind &amp; kissed his neck. "Maybe someday, we'll talk to him again."

"Yeah," Remus opened the door. "Someday. Let's find Jim."

James was leaning against a marble pillar near the top of the stair case by the Entrance Hall. He stood straight as Sirius &amp; Remus finally ran towards him. "Took you mutts long enough," he smirked.

"Shall we go?" Remus had an air of a grouse with more than a few ruffled feathers. Sirius was snickering.

James smiled mischievously. "It depends. Are you two 'coming' or what?"

"Ok I'm killing him," Sirius reached for James's neck but he ducked &amp; rolled away, laughing.

He ended up at Harry's feet, who had just come up the stairs with Hermione. Harry looked down at him. "Dad, what are you doing?"

"Getting away from Sirius," James sat up.

Harry looked over each man in turn. "You're all in uniforms. Are you going somewhere?"

James couldn't meet his son's eyes but instead stared down to the doors. Remus moved forward to help James up. James finally answered. "Orion's in London. We're getting him."

"That's great news," Hermione gasped as Harry put one hand on the banister beside him, feeling weak.

"By this time tomorrow, he should be in Azkaban," Sirius added.

James half-smiled at Harry, but it didn't reach his eyes. He was nervous, knowing he was about to face Orion again. "Harry do you mind if I hang on to this for a bit?" He pulled part of the Invisibility Cloak out of his pocket.

"Sure," Was all Harry managed to say, still recovering.

James pushed the cloak back out of sight. "Where are you off to then?"

Orion momentarily driving from his mind, Harry complained. "Detention with Flitwick."

"Well it's no less than what you deserve," James glared at him.

Harry glared right back. "Didn't all three of you complain whenever you got detentions for putting somebody in their place?"

James huffed. "Harry I have no problem with you putting someone in their place if they deserve it. If you can avoid detention at the same time all the better." (Hermione was rolling her eyes by now, feeling as if James was not setting a good example.) "But for Merlin's sake, I never blew up a building just to teach Snivelus a lesson! That's what I'm not happy about. Never put innocent bystanders in danger. I stand by what I said, you deserve the detentions this time. Understand?"

"Yes sir," Harry looked at the floor. Sad fact was, James was right. Both Harry &amp; Draco were lucky that no one else got hurt ... or worse, died.

"That went better," Sirius said out the corner of his mouth.

James sent him a withering look, then turned back to Harry. In a milder voice, he asked, "So what did Lucy's kid do anyway?"

Harry cast a surprised look at his father, then focused on Hermione's shoulder beside him. "I ...uh well..." He tried to think of something but his mind was a blank. He hadn't expected James to ask.

"Harry," James put a hand on his shoulder. "You can tell me anything."

"I don't think I should," Harry tried to look anywhere but at his father.

James let his hand fall away. "Well if that's how you feel. But it shouldn't be that hard. Just try it."

Harry finally looked at James. "It was something he said," he hesitated a moment before repeating it. Hermione gasped softly.

James stepped back. "I appreciate you trying to defend what dignity I have left," He snarled under breath &amp; started down the stairs. He paused &amp; looked up at his son. Harry knew that the word livid would be an understatement. James seethed through gritted teeth. "Don't let me hear of you ever blowing up a building again! Is that perfectly clear as crystal?"

"Mhm," Harry nodded, having an acute feeling that the anger this time was not directed at him.

James then cast his dark look at the Wolfstar team. "Let's go," he turned &amp; marched for the door. At that unfortunate moment, Draco himself emerged from a side door, going for his own detention. James didn't even look at him, but he raised his hand in Draco's direction. Draco spun across the hall &amp; landed in a heap on the floor on the opposite side. He spent his first detention in the hospital wing, unconscious.

"James!" Remus &amp; Sirius ran to his side to try calming him down.

* * *

_**AN:** For those that read the "whole" chapter, some may recognize a reverse of a certain Thewlis/DiCaprio scene near the end ..._


	47. Chapter 47

**(47) A Blast From The Past**

James was leaning over the sink in the washroom, dry heaving. Remus stood on his left while Sirius was on his right &amp; both were cautiously rubbing his back. James wished his body would give in &amp; throw up already but he had done nothing except freeze &amp; shiver for nearly an hour.

They had apparated to Cardiff soon after James had knocked Draco out. (That had been covered by a short 'momentarily lost control of warped powers' excuse, which wasn't too far from the truth.) The three of them had boarded in one hotel room for the night. None of them had gone to bed as all were too much on edge about the next few hours. At dawn, a break would be made in the shield to let those on the team to capture Orion in.

As the moment drew near, James had become more stressed, often pacing the room. He was now reduced to feeling weak from shakes &amp; was barely able to hold himself up against the counter. It finally hit him. He was going to see Orion again after all these years. Years spent dodging the man &amp; keeping enough of the trail going just to keep him away from Harry. James felt another wave of illness &amp; set his teeth against it.

Neither Remus or Sirius had spoken a word during that long hour. They stood by like silent pillars, waiting. Being closer, Remus had only moved away once &amp; that was to close the door &amp; turn the heater on full blast. By now, it was an oven in there but it had yet to have much effect on James. The other two had resorted to casting a cooling charm on themselves on occasion.

James suddenly went to his knees, then pushed himself back so that he was sitting against the wall of the bath. Remus put a hand on his head, only to recoil from getting stabbed. The points of the horns were out. Both he &amp; Sirius sat cross-legged in front of James.

Remus resorted to taking James's hands instead. "It's nearly over, 'deer' one," he spoke softly. James managed a weak laugh but soon fell silent again.

"You look exhausted," Sirius said a short while later. James nodded quickly but still didn't say anything. He was so cold his teeth would chatter if he tried to talk. A heat charm was over him, but it hadn't stuck too well. Sirius moved to James's side &amp; slowly pulled him close. "Remus &amp; I can do this. Why don't you stay here &amp; sleep?"

"No," James managed to say.

"You don't have to see him until he's been caught," Remus tried.

"No, I've got to go with you," James said in a forced breath. "I have to."

"You have to warm up," Sirius held him tighter.

"I'm trying."

"If you don't warm up in a few minutes Jim," Remus began. "I'll have to take you to a hospital. You're in shock."

"I know that," James snapped through gritted teeth. "I'm working on it."

"You are so stubborn," Remus groused. "Just like Sirius. I'll never understand it."

"You're not a Black by blood," Sirius said &amp; it actually made James laugh a little.

"It's the Black temper we all have," James added.

"Focus on that," Sirius told James. "A Black temper is quite fiery. Nothing like getting worked up into a frenzy to help you warm up." Remus gave him a dark look.

"I know," James sighed. "Believe me I know."

Remus rolled his eyes. /You idiot./

/Now what?/

/What makes Orion …Black ... attack James all the time, hmm?/

/Me./

/Yes but why?/

/He hates me./

/Black temper Sirius! You REALLY need to learn to be more tactful!/

There was a moment of dead space through their link as Sirius suddenly figured it out. /_Oh merde (Oh shit)!/_

Shaking his head, Remus moved in next to James's other side. He petted back some damp black locks off James's forehead. "Are you sure you're up for this?" He slipped an arm behind James &amp; promptly smacked Sirius on the head.

/Sorry my Alpha./

"I'll never be more ready," James shrugged as Remus suddenly laughed out loud. "What?"

"Nothing," Remus went on snickering.

"Oh come on, tell me," James insisted.

"I would if it was another time," Remus went on. "But it may be inappropriate right now."

"We're Marauders," James pointed out. "That's what we do best."

/Alright Sirius. This is how you do things. Let the other person ask for it. Make them think it was their idea./

/I got it already./ Sirius complained, frustrated.

"Alright fine. Don't say I didn't warn you. I just thought of something," Remus finally caved. "Harry may be our Alpha, but I am still an Alpha of a sort."

"Oh?" James slowly but surely stopped shivering.

/That was my thought you dumb ass!/

"Well, well yeah," Remus went on, ignoring Sirius. "I am Dominatrix after all &amp; Sirius is my toy."

James sat up straight, staring ahead. "Why am I sitting between you two again?"

"No idea," Remus smiled pleasantly, patting James on the shoulder. "It's one rank Harry can never take from me."

James just glared at him. "Oh I hope not!"

"Well you were his Professor once," Sirius put in with a sly smile. "You can be again."

Remus smacked him again &amp; this time he made no attempt to hide it from James. /Too much at a time. What is wrong with you? Butt out of this conversation! Let JAMES say stuff like that!/

/Sorry!/ Sirius rubbed his head again.

"Remus if you ever teach my son again," James muttered.

"Hey that was Paddy's idea, not mine," Remus was still glowering at Sirius. James drew his legs up &amp; put his face to his knees. He was still shivering though not as violently as before. "Hey Prongs," Remus began rubbing his back again. "We're in control of the team. They won't do anything until we're there. We're not leaving this room until you're ready. Try to sleep a bit."

"I want to go at dawn as planned," James said. "Get this over with."

"That's still several minutes away."

"Moony!" James shrugged the werewolf's hand away. "I've got to do this now or I never will. Then I can rest. I might even collapse right there when he's finally taken away but I won't care then."

"Well we're not going anywhere until you're warm," Remus stood up &amp; pulled out his wand. "Let's try a stronger warming charm." He worked on James for several minutes, trying to dry &amp; warm him up faster. James was once more leaning against Sirius &amp; after several minutes, Remus paused &amp; checked James over. /He's asleep!/

/He is? Let's just stay still. He needs to rest./

Remus sat on the floor again. /I agree, but be prepared. He's going to get mad at us when he finds out we let him sleep in./

There was a moment's silence before both touched their link at the same time: /Black temper./

They remained silent as dawn came &amp; went. Sirius was going numb but didn't dare move in case it woke James up. Remus finally turned the heat off &amp; the temperature had gone down to normal by now. The sun cast long rays of light through the window, eventually creeping into James's face.

James suddenly twitched, then sat bolt right up. "What ti—my God what is wrong with you?" He shot to his feet as both Remus &amp; Sirius inwardly groaned. Here came the lecture! James glared at them as they got up, looking sheepish. "I told you! I wanted to leave by dawn. Why didn't you wake me up? Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"It's onl—" Sirius began to say that it was only about half an hour past dawn but James apparently wasn't finished.

"I said the sooner we get this done the better!" He shot back at him. "You could have ruined everything."

"There's a shi—" Remus tried to point out the block around the area.

"Not another word!" James turned &amp; wrenched the door open. "Let's go!"

/That went by better than I thought./ Remus said silently.

/Practise for Harry I guess./

"Moony can you move any slower?" James continued to snap. "A snail has more speed then you. Padfoot where's my coat?"

"You're wearing it," Sirius grumbled.

"Prongs, it is still very close to dawn," Remus finally said.

"Move it!" James snapped again. "Let's get over there."

James finally hustled his friends outside &amp; grabbed them each by the hand to apparate to the edge of London on the east side. /He'll thank us someday for letting him rest a little./ Remus managed to get in before James pulled them into the vortex.

Kinsley Shacklebolt was seen standing down the street next to the shield. Muggles had been redirected, being told a gas line had broken, but anyone magical could see the air behind Kingsley pulsating a little &amp; none could get through. As they moved towards him, Remus suddenly stepped forward &amp; in front of James, arms spread. James walked right into him. Remus embraced him, holding James still.

Sirius stopped as Remus said softly, "Breathe James." He held him silently for a moment before stepping back. "It'll be ok. We won't leave your side."

No longer mad at them, James nodded quickly. "I've dreamed of this for a long time."

Remus smiled at him. "It isn't a dream anymore."

The three of them approached Kingsley who turned &amp; tapped on the window of a tiny café muggles missed. Several more Aurors suddenly came out. Kingsley turned back to the three waiting Marauders. "There is another group ready on the other side that Avery McBride is bringing in. He won't get away."

"This seems too easy," James said. "Why would he get caught like this? It's like he allowed it."

"We've thought of that as well," Kingsley said. "I hope not. It's better if he had a moment of drunk stupidity or else, we may have a fight on our hands."

The entire group pulled out their wands. Kingsley opened the way &amp; headed in. Sirius &amp; Remus went next with James close behind while everyone else followed. They moved quickly down the road towards a muggle hotel. Several members of the rear guard branched off. The leader of the second group soon met Kingsley at a corner of where an alley crossed the main road.

"We've evacuated all muggles in this area," Avery began. He pointed with his wand to the hotel rising up just beyond them. "He's in there."

"Any opposition?" Kingsley asked.

"Not yet," said Avery as he turned &amp; headed for the hotel.

They made their way under cover as best possible, checking every angle as they moved forward. The hotel was just across the road now &amp; James was beginning to wonder if Orion had actually slipped up at last when everything went wrong.

The blast in the street was worse than what Sirius had witnessed with an Imperious-ed Peter. The road was gone, torn up by its roots in the ground. Parts of the ancient underground were exposed, caved in with rubble. Pipes spilled water &amp; gases everywhere.

Vivid memories of Aurors pointing to him &amp; dragging him down filled his mind as Sirius lay under a slab of cement. Not this time! It would not be pinned on him this time. He shifted to Padfoot. /Remus! Remus?/ No answer but he could still touch their link, barely. Remus was alive but knocked out. Please Merlin just let him be knocked out! He focused his energy on the slab above him. Wandless magic took more power &amp; the weight of the rubble didn't help. It finally crumbled &amp; the black dog wriggled away only to yelp as he used his right forepaw. Sirius shifted back &amp; cradled his left arm, panting &amp; feeling weak from the outburst of sorcery. At that point, he was in no condition to try any more magic, not even to heal himself. He didn't even have his wand at the moment, though Sirius noticed it lying dangerously near the edge of a cleft in the ground.

"Mr. Black," a voice shouted at him through the dust. "Sirius Black I mean!"

Sirius gave himself a mental kick. Why the hell did he change back to a human? "It wasn't me!"

"We know that," the voice said. "I was just wondering if you're alright!"

"Keep your wands off me &amp; I'll be fine," Sirius still didn't trust any Auror apart from Remus &amp; James.

A figure came towards him &amp; as the dust settled, Sirius could see that it was Kingsley. The black man knelt before him &amp; pointed at his arm. "It'll be harder to fix your arm if I can't point a wand at you."

"No!" Sirius shot back. "Only Remus or James is allowed that privilege! I remember what happened the last time this occurred. So no thank you! Bugger off!"

Kingsley groaned. "Why are you mad at me? I wasn't even on that team! Orion is near by. This is no time to fight amongst ourselves &amp; certainly no time for injuries! Come here."

CRACK!

Sirius had just punched Kingsley in the face. "I said no! Find James! Find Remus! I can work with an injury."

Kingsley stood up. He watched Sirius kneeling there, bowing his head over his broken arm. He felt a wave of pity for the mistreatment of the man, well more like a child stuck in a man's body. His whole youth was spent in a place not meant for him. "You do know Orion did this on purpose to mess with you right?" Kingsley tried again. "We had already thought of this. Avery in fact, suggested the idea that Orion might try to remind you of what happened before, considering the mentality of the man. He's trying to traumatise you as much as possible."

Sirius glared up at him. "Yeah well, it's working."

"Lee. LEE!" Avery came hobbling into the scene. Kingsley sighed, casting one last hopeless look at Sirius before turning to the newcomer. "I only found three others. Lee, there were thirty of us altogether. There has to be more than five left."

Kingsley shook his head in disbelief. "The last time this happened, twelve died."

"Is James &amp; Remus with them?" Sirius asked as he stood up.

Avery glanced at the blood on Sirius's injured arm. "No."

"Well then there are more survivors," Sirius said. "I know Remus is alive. I can feel it through our link." The two men gave Sirius blank stares. "He's my husband."

Avery sighed. "We don't know for sure who else is a—"

"I know Remus is!" Sirius interrupted. "I can feel him. His pulse is weak. He's injured but alive." After a moment, Sirius added. "He's a wolf. They form mental links when they mate. A were kind of wolf."

Even Kingsley went a paler shade of black. "A we—I've been working alongside a …a …werewolf?!"

"He's been raised by humans," Sirius defended. "He'd never hurt anyone in human form, apart from Orion."

"I heard about this," Avery added. "A so-called Light Werewolf. The only wolf with an Auror's license. I never got the name since I walked away laughing." Sirius glared at him. "Is it true then?"

"Yes," Sirius snarled. He picked up his wand lying nearby &amp; began to move away, stumbling through the rough now-uneven terrain in a search for survivors.


	48. Chapter 48

**(48) The Silver Lining**

"Did you find him yet?"

"Yeah we found him."

"What a mess!"

There was a clinking sound as a few rocks rolled away at the disturbance.

"Is he in THERE?"

"Yup."

A loud sigh of frustration. "Well get him out of there. Hurry up."

There was a short blast &amp; a large stone shattered. Magic &amp; hands pulled away more debris, revealing a disused railway that had been underground until recently. A few old stone steps still led down &amp; it was here that the debris was heaviest. A ray of sun finally filtered into the hollow that was left when the ground that made the roof of this area had caved in. The only thing holding it up at an angle was the railing of the stairs.

The hands that pulled away rubble now reached in once more to grab a man lying in the hollow. They pulled. Three men clustered around the unconscious man who had light brown but greying hair &amp; scars on his face.

"Finally. Bring him along. We want him in a safe place when he wakes up."

The three rescuers levitated Remus up among them &amp; followed.

Remus slowly woke up to find himself lying on a pile of blankets on the floor of an otherwise empty room. His head pounded from being hit with the blast &amp; his ears rung loud. That bang had seriously messed with his werewolf senses. Remus attempted to raise his hands to rub his ears, thought better of it when his arms ached in protest &amp; lay back again, drifting off. The door opened &amp; Remus turned half-closed eyes in the direction of the sound.

"Jim?"

"He'll be along," a man's voice said. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm really sore," Remus watched the man in a daze. His eyes were hazy &amp; he could hardly look anywhere, especially in the light, without making his mind pound.

"You will be for a while," the man put a hand on Remus's face, petting his cheek. "That was one hell of a blast."

Remus forced himself to look at the man crouched beside him. It nearly made him go cross eyed but he saw enough to know that he looked a lot like Sirius. It had to be since he was petting him. /Siri—/ Using the link doubled his headache so Remus switched to verbal. "Sirius." He instinctively sniffed for the familiar scent but all he got was the strong smell of the gas that had leaked from some of the pipes that were blown. "Pads, are we still nearby the blast zone?"

"Yeah, still searching for survivors."

"I hope Jim's ok," Remus closed his eyes, wanting to sleep.

"He's fine. He'll be fine."

When Remus woke up again barely half an hour later, he felt worse. /S—./ No good. He couldn't use the link to summon his mate. His head hurt too much. Remus tried to think how close he had been to the epicenter.

"Awake again are you?" came a soft teasing voice.

Remus desperately wanted to roll his eyes &amp; smile but he knew that would hurt, so he resorted to a low purring growl. "Wish I wasn't though."

"Here, this'll help."

Remus was helped up &amp; a cup was given him of something to drink. He downed it &amp; then lay back. He could hardly move, especially his arms, from being so sore. It was growing steadily worse than a lunar shift. He was beginning to wonder if he was hurt a lot more than he thought. What wasn't Sirius telling him?

"Tell me one thing," Remus began. "Don't hide anything from me. Just say it."

"It."

"Sirius," Remus groaned as the idiot laughed. "How bad is it?"

"It's a lot worse than you think."

"I know that," Remus said. "I can barely see straight. Our link hurts like hell if I use it &amp; I can't move my arms without feeling like they're full of lead &amp; stiff."

"Oh it's much worse than that," the voice came from above Remus's face. Remus felt fingers trace the scars on his face before they moved to his hair &amp; gripped firmly. "For starters, I'm not Sirius. I'm Orion."

Remus seized up with fear. He had something to drink. No wonder he was out of it. He had to have been drugged. Not the blast. He was under drugs, probably magic to. If only he could call on Sirius. Or Moony! Remus reached inside &amp; cast around for the wolf but he couldn't connect to him either. Drugged out of it.

"Don't worry my little pet," Orion laughed, patting Remus on the head. "I'm not going to kill you. Not yet anyway. So long as you're alive, Sirius will keep looking."

"He won't let you get away with this!" Remus snarled, fangs gritted. Come on Moony wake up!

"He won't have a choice in the matter," Orion said. "He'll be forced to choose between you or James."

"You vile evi—"

"Be nice," Orion shushed him. "So, how does it feel? Not knowing if Sirius will betray you again or not."

"He never did!" Remus exclaimed. "It was a lie. You pinned it on Peter but it's all you!"

"Sirius mistrusted you during that war," Orion said. "It's why he got Jim to switch Secret Keepers. Why he didn't tell you. It was all about you &amp; it was all HIS idea. You can't deny that."

Remus turned his head away to stare at the wall he as against. "No," He whispered.

"So now he'll have to choose again," Orion went on. "But in the end, I'll end up with James. I always do."

"You're fucking insane!" Remus shot back. "Sirius'll kill you first before putting either Jim or me through that again!"

"He can try," Orioin shrugged. "I have my own men here &amp; they've been pointing wands at Sirius this whole time. Checkmate."

"What animal would help the likes of you?" Remus demanded. "I doubt even Voldemort would want you around. After what you did to James!"

"James is one of the Dark Lord's main enemies," Orion said. "What would he care what happens to him? Besides my dear pet, haven't you ever heard of a delightful little thing called Imperious?"

"There are other Aurors out there," Remus tried another tactic.

"Eh, most of them are dead, dying or buried alive," Orion wasn't perturbed. "I've planned this for a while." He reached down &amp; gave Remus's hair a tug. Remus growled viciously. "HA! Not so tamed after all are you?"

"Tamed I may be, but I will defend myself if I can!"

"A monster doesn't need defence. It needs to be put down."

"Yeah tell me about it," Remus retorted. Orion kicked his ribs. Remus glared at him as best possible. "If you do anything to me or James, Sirius will hurt you!"

"No he won't," Orion said. "He can't do a thing with me." Remus growled again. It was the only thing he could do. Orion laughed. "Yet the Ministry was stupid enough to give a half-bred mudblood an Auror's license. Just you wait little wolf," he patted the wolf's chest. "I know exactly how to deal with your kind. Want to know why you can barely move your arms? You have silver arm bands strapped to them. It's slowly poisoning you, seeping in through your skin. Oh don't worry, it isn't enough to kill you. Just keep you occupied &amp; weak. Can't speak to your wolf right now can you? What do you people call it again? Moony?" He petted Remus's hair.

"Don't you touch me!" Remus demanded, shaking his head to throw Orion off. "You'll regret it if you try that again."

Orion looked Remus over, considering the helpless werewolf. "In your condition right now, you're no danger. The silver will keep you docile. I was originally planning to shoot you with the silver spell in front of Sirius, but there might be other ways of getting rid of you." He put a hand into Remus's hair again. "I know what you are to Sirius. If someone other then he lays claim to you, he'll feel it through that link. Feel it all, even your painful death from it!"

Remus gasped softly. He knew Orion could do just that. Moony please! Where are you?

"I'd rather not defile myself with a mudblood though," Orion stood up. "especially a half breed on top of it. Also, you're not Jim. Hmm," he was silent a moment.

"I'm a half-blood for your information!"

"Same thing to me," Orion muttered. "You know, I could get someone else to have some fun with you. Or with Sirius. It will kill you either way. It all depends on how you behave. You'll have either a quick death or a humiliating &amp; painful one. Sirius may think he has a choice but fact is I'm going to kill you either way. I've known for years the kind of horror you are. It's nothing personal. I am a werewolf hunter after all."

"Whatever you say," Remus huffed, then decided to add insult to injury. "Dad." Orion stared at him. "I am married to your eldest son after all."

Orion waved his hand. "Minor technicalities. I don't consider that blood traitor a son anyway. I sure as hell would never accept the likes of you into my pure family! Don't test me, half breed. Or come evening, you'll be in so much pain, even the full moon will seem like a walk in the park." He turned &amp; left, slamming the door.

"Oh sweet Merlin," Remus gasped softly. "Ok. Moony. Where are you?" He closed his eyes, ignoring the demand of sleep &amp; tried to reconnect with the Lycan symbiont buried deep under layers of drugs &amp; silver poisoning.

After several minutes of trying, Remus gave up. Moony was just too far out of it to add any extra strength in the body. Remus sighed tiredly. His head was aching. All he wanted to do was sleep. But he forced himself awake. With Orion nearby, Remus wanted to be aware, though he had yet to figure out anything to counter Orion.

Remus rested as best possible without falling too much into sleep. His only hope was making his link with Sirius work enough to warn him. Orion had come back to check on him twice, but Remus feigned sleep. After Orion left the second time, Remus noticed a glass of something to drink had been set on the far side of the room. Orion was expecting the first dose of whatever it was he had given Remus to wear off soon. Remus had no intention of drinking anything more but knew he was powerless to stop it from happening. If only he could get the silver off &amp; revive Moony enough to fight back.

Remus braced himself. He knew it would hurt before he tried but he had no other choice. He suddenly threw all his energy into the link with Sirius. It only lasted a few seconds &amp; it left him with a migraine worse then before. He closed it off before waiting for any reply, hoping it had been enough.

"Stop. Wait a minute," Sirius hurried up to four men carrying a covered stretcher. He pulled back the sheet. Not James. He turned away, rubbing his sore arm. Sirius had finally allowed Kingsley to help heal him, but it had been a long fight. The bone was repaired &amp; now it was only a little sore. He let out a breath. "Oh Jim. Where are you?" He took a few more paces &amp; suddenly crashed to his knees.

Kingsley glanced around as he heard someone suddenly scream. He saw Sirius on the ground, holding his head with both hands. He ran over. "Sirius what's wrong now?"

"It's Remus!" Sirius gasped. "He's hurt. He's really bad. We have to find him soon."

"Did he say where he is?"

Sirius shook his head, still pressing on his temples. "We only use words when we're close. He's really hurting &amp; he's scared about something. He doesn't often get scared."

Kingsley stood up. "What the hell can scare a werewolf?"

"He doesn't like full moons much," said Sirius. "Or silver."

"Well it's daytime now," Kingsley said. "I don't know of any silver around here but I'll get some people on it."

"Thanks," Sirius nodded as he slowly got up. "We have to hurry."

Both groups of Aurors had now merged into one &amp; all gathered back at the café where Kingsley had been with his team for the night. Out of the thirty, twenty one remained (not counting Remus who, though alive, wasn't available) but none of them was James.

Sirius &amp; Kingsley sat across from each other at one table. Sirius suddenly smiled a little. "Will this work even with one missing?"

"Yes," answered Kingsley, returning an equally conspiring smile. "We've made room for upto five missing. We'll get Remus back. I just wish someone knew what happened to James."

Sirius closed his eyes for a moment. "Remus promised him that neither of us would leave his side today. How could he disappear like that? He was right behind us."

"We'll find him," Kingsley tried to reassure Sirius. He saw another man enter the café. "Avery, how was it?"

"It happened just like we thought it would," Avery McBride sat down at the table with them. "Everyone is here except Lupin &amp; Potter."

Kingsley stood up. "Then I think it's time we finish this. Let's get over there."

"Yes sir," Avery headed outside once more.

Kingsley went to the back room with Sirius close behind. Seven bodies lay covered on the floor. "ALRIGHT YOU LOT! MOVE OUT!" Kingsley suddenly yelled at them. The 'corpses' stood up immediately.

"Lee, don't ever make me do that again!" one Auror complained. "I don't think I had enough protection charms on me. My back hurts!"

"You'll be hurting elsewhere if you don't stop complaining," Kingsley glared. "Now come on you lot, let's give Orion Black a surprise. By letting him think we fell into his trap, he went &amp; fell into ours."

Remus clicked softly when he heard the door close once more. Orion had come &amp; gone for the third time. Remus was getting frustrated. He wasn't supposed to be here. He wasn't supposed to have been caught. He was supposed to keep James in sight. Being trapped by Orion was wearing on his nerves. Remus wondered how James survived it for two whole years. At least Sirius was out there with James. Someone was keeping an eye on him. James was not part of the plan. Everyone was here to protect James from Orion. He was to stay in the background.

Remus slipped into a doze. So long as he stayed 'asleep' the drug would slowly wear off. Then perhaps he could focus on the silver somehow. If only he could let Moony out. Orion's threat had shaken Remus to the core. He knew perfectly well what Orion was capable of. He hoped Sirius would show up soon. Hoping to calm himself somehow, his thoughts soon turned to Sirius. He sifted through many moments he had been with Sirius, some good &amp; some bad. Most were of their Hogwarts years. One incident kept returning to him. He had walked in on Sirius when he had been upset over something. Remus didn't know why it kept coming back. Perhaps it was because he himself was upset at the moment.

It had been at Hogwarts, near the end of their Sixth Grade.

Sirius had long since missed curfew that night &amp; didn't come to the dorms. With the Map, Remus had seen Sirius on the hidden balcony in the Astronomy Tower &amp; had gone after him. He pushed the hidden wall aside &amp; went through.

Sirius was sitting against the rounded wall of one side of the Tower, looking out into the night. He got to his feet as the hidden wall slid back into place. "Ray? Hi," Sirius turned away a moment, pushing hair out of his face. "What are you doing here?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing," Remus said. "Do you have any idea how late it is?"

"Since when do we care?" Sirius raised his brows at him, then went to lean over the stone railing to look hundreds of feet down.

Remus pulled him away. Up close, he could see that Sirius had been crying. "What's wrong Padfoot?"

"Everything. Nothing," Sirius shrugged, earning an eye-roll. "Don't worry about it."

"I'm always worrying about you."

Sirius laughed &amp; turned back to the balcony's rail. After a moment he said, "I'm uh, I'm glad we're friends again Ray. You know it's been just over a year since I acted up?"

"Mhm," Remus had a slightly bemused expression. "I've been meaning to talk to you about that."

"Oh now what did I do?" Sirius complained.

"More like what you, what we actually, aren't doing," Remus moved closer to him. He put a hand over Sirius's hand resting on the rail. "I don't really want to be friends, Padfoot. I haven't wanted that in a couple of years."

Sirius glanced at their touching hands, then at Remus. "...Ray..."

"You really hurt me last year," Remus went on. "It's been rough this whole year through."

"Yeah," Sirius glanced out into the night, thinking Remus didn't know the half of it. "It has." He suddenly laughed. "I still can't believe that idiot proposed a couple weeks ago with a Koi in his pants!"

Remus smiled. "Hey, whatever works." He gave Sirius's hand a soft squeeze. "Right?" Sirius looked into glowing eyes as Remus pulled him in. Remus put his hands on Sirius's face. "What do you say about trying this again hmm?"

"Ray," Sirius began but Remus moved in swiftly &amp; kissed him. Sirius held the wolf pup hard, hoping to never lose him again. "Ray," he tried again the moment Remus had paused for air. "I'm so so—"

"Sh," Remus had pressed his long fingers to Sirius's lips. "No more pain between us, alright? No more." Sirius nodded mutely. Remus moved his hands down to Sirius's hips &amp; pushed him against the stone banister. He kissed Sirius again before commanding softly, "Don't move." Amber locked into pale grey as Remus undid Sirius's belt with one hand, then after a short hesitation, slipped inside.

Sirius gasped at the touch. Remus had never done anything like this to him before. They had kissed only twice, one of which had been while they were stuck on a rigged train car &amp; didn't really count. The wolf's grip was firm &amp; not to gentle, another thing which surprised Sirius. He felt himself start to collapse to the floor as Remus pinched &amp; stroked him. Remus leaned down &amp; kissed him hard while suddenly gripping more firmly then before. Sirius went over with a sharp intake of breath which allowed Remus full entry into a deep kiss. When they finally broke apart, Sirius held Remus close for a long time.

They became mates a short time later, during the summer.

Remus smiled softly but when he opened his eyes, he knew it was but a distant memory. The walls of Orion's cell still hemmed him in. Remus wondered if he'd ever get to touch Sirius like that again. Come to think of it, he never did get back to figuring out what was wrong with Sirius that night. But Remus no longer planned on asking. It was so long ago now that Sirius probably wouldn't remember what had bothered him &amp; be more interested in repeating their antics.

Orion came back in. Remus quickly fell asleep, waiting for him to go away. He growled suddenly when Orion kicked him in the ribs once more. "I know you're awake. I don't have time to play around right now." Orion was holding Remus up once more &amp; holding the new drink in his free hand. He tried to force-feed it down Remus's throat.

Remus snarled &amp; tried to wiggle away. "I'd rather die than drink any more."

"Would you relax?" Orion pulled hard on Remus's hair. "It's just keeping you docile. It won't kill you."

"I already am docile," Remus muttered. "I'll sit quiet. I can't go anywhere with this silver draining me."

Orion stood up &amp; pointed his wand at Remus. "Crucio!"

Remus fell back &amp; tried to keep the link firmly closed. Sirius would go crazy &amp; do something stupid if he knew what was going on. The spell was lifted. "Is that your best shot, Dad?" Remus taunted.

Orion smacked him. "Don't call me that!"

"But you are by law," Remus teased. "Come on ...Dad. A full moon hurts worse than th—" He was once more fighting to keep the link closed as Orion tortured him again.

Orion held the spell for over a minute. Remus was panting &amp; foaming by the time he lifted it at last. "Drink this now or have someone claim you right now. I won't wait for Sirius."

The threat of rape more than anything else caused Remus to comply. He took the drink, then promptly spat half of it out into Orion's face. "Go to hell!"

Orion slapped Remus hard across the face. "Sweetheart, I AM hell!"

Remus scoffed. "I've had worse. You're nothing but an annoying fly!"

"Keep testing me mudblood!" Orion grabbed Remus by the hair &amp; yanked him forward so that they were nose to nose. "I'll make you suff—"

Remus spat in his face again. "That was for James."

Orion glared darkly at Remus before punching him in the face. Remus lay back with the blow. Orion pounced on him, straddling his body &amp; put both hands around Remus's throat. Remus was sure he was going to die now. Orion had lost it. Painful though it was, he quickly forced the link open, sent a wave of love to Sirius, then shut his mate out for the last time.

Orion leaned over Remus, glaring into amber eyes. "If it weren't for you, Sirius may not have been led so far astray. I thought Jim's ideals were bad enough but to have Sirius go &amp; mix himself up with not only a mudblood but a monster? I'll make you wish you never entered Sirius's life!"

"The only monster around here is you!" Remus glowered. "Now just get it done. I've had it with you!"

Orion pulled a silver blade out of his pocket, ripped open the top of Remus's shirt &amp; stabbed deeply in the chest. Remus yelped in pain as the blade sank inside. Orion pulled the blade down, carving a long gash from near Remus's throat all the way down the breast bone. The blade was deep enough to hit the bones. Remus felt his back arch off the floor as the knife ripped through him. It made him press against Orion &amp; he had a horrid feeling of what James no doubt felt more than once. Orion yanked out the blade, making Remus squeal &amp; gasp. Remus collapsed to the floor, panting. He tried to focus on the ceiling but his vision was blurring out.

Orion got off &amp; stood up. "It will take a while for you to die with that. I know where James is. I'm actually on my way to get him &amp; bring him here. He can watch you in your final moments. Sirius ought to be with us by then to. By the way," Orion leaned down &amp; grabbed hard between Remus's legs.

"NO!" Remus screamed. "NO DON'T!" He tried to pull away but the pain in his chest was literally killing him. "Stop. Please! Let go!"

"Nice size," Orion patted it, thoroughly enjoying Remus's discomfort. "I understand Sirius's attraction." At that, Orion turned &amp; marched out the door without a backwards glance. Remus gasped through a sob as he slowly passed out.

Sirius clasped both hands to his chest &amp; fell down, screaming.


	49. Chapter 49

**(49) Beauty And The Beast**

"Sirius!" Kingsley was crouching over him, shaking Sirius back to reality. "Sirius what happened?"

Sirius knelt on the ground, clutching his heart with both hands. In a shaking voice he gasped, "I think we're too late for Remus!"

"He's dead?"

"I don't know," Sirius curled up in a ball, crying. "But I think so. I can't feel him at all. He's gone!" Kingsley stood up as Sirius continued keening. "It hurts! Oh God it hurts!"

Kingsley quickly looked Sirius over, checking for new wounds but didn't find any. "Where?"

"Right here," Sirius gasped, rubbing his chest.

Understanding that Sirius was referring to the link, Kingsley tried to get Sirius up. "So you can feel something?"

"It feels like my heart has been cut out of my chest," Sirius gasped between tears. "It hurts so much!"

"If you're feeling something, there's still a chance isn't there?" Kingsley offered. "Come on. We'll find him." It worked. Sirius latched onto any ray of hope. He clamoured to his feet &amp; followed Kingsley into the hotel that they had reached at last by coming from behind.

The moment everyone had entered, they were met with opposition in the hallways. The duelling was fierce but hard as the narrow corridors only allowed a few at a time to move. There were only four men who were holding them off, but it was hard to get at them.

Sirius fell back, changed to Padfoot &amp; then barrelled through both sides like a mad steer at a rodeo. He bounded up the stairs &amp; out of sight, letting the other Aurors bring down their attackers. His only thought was finding Remus.

Kingsley righted himself as Avery covered him by firing a shot down the hall, striking one man. Avery pulled Kingsley to his feet. "It's a bad day, Lee. That was the Grim that just took you out."

"The ...Avery, you're kidding me."

"No," Avery shook his head.

Kingsley glanced at other Aurors behind Avery. All of them were looking pale. "You see a Grim to?" The others nodded. Kingsley turned &amp; headed for the stairs, determined to find Remus if possible.

After some hesitation, the group followed &amp; found the other three attackers. All four men were tossed into a room together but after heavy questioning, nothing seemed to come of it. Kingsley inspected them, then shook his head. "It's no use," he said. "They're under Imperious." He turned &amp; headed up the stairs with a few following while the others stayed to guard their prisoners.

Padfoot went from one door to the next, crying pitifully as he sniffed everywhere. Once he cleared a floor, he bounded up the next flight to start the process again. After three floors, he was starting to give up hope. Padfoot sat down &amp; howled long &amp; mournful. He stared down the hall full of more doors.

"What was that?" Kingsley stopped short as a low howl echoed through the building.

"Must be the Grim," Avery offered. "Maybe it was destined for someone else."

Kingsley stared at him. "Remus."

Padfoot began trotting down the next hall, losing hope at every door. He turned one corner, then another. He suddenly gave up &amp; stopped walking. He bowed his head, nose nearly touching the floor. The pain was nearly disappeared now. Remus was gone. Padfoot's nose twitched. Blood. Lots of it. He glanced up, sniffing. It was close. Padfoot bared fangs &amp; trotted forward. He pushed open yet another door &amp; growled ferociously.

Remus lay with his shirt &amp; chest ripped open. One arm was out along the floor, shining with silver. Blood &amp; foam was in his mouth. Blood was seeping out of the chest wound &amp; dripping down the werewolf's side, staining the carpet. No one else was around. Padfoot bounded forward, nearly crashing into Remus as he shifted to Sirius.

"Moony? Oh Merlin help! MOONY!" Sirius touched Remus's hair with one hand &amp; put his other on Remus's shoulders. He shook ever so gently. "Moony please. Don't you leave me now, damn you! Moony!" Sirius tried rousing him again. "Not now! We've just started getting things right between us. Come on!" He petted back a lock of greyed hair, then with his wand, he quickly removed the blood from pale lips. "...Ray ...please...you can't—oh you can't be dead!" He cast a worried glance over Remus, shaking him once more as he felt tears come.

Crying hard, Sirius put his head down, touching his forehead to Remus's nose. /Ray. I'm right here beside you. Hold on. Please./ There was no answer. Their link was cold. "No NO!" Sirius punched the wall so hard he dented it &amp; ripped his knuckles. He burst into a fresh wave of tears. "I'll make him suffer, my poor love. I know who did this. I recognise the weaponry all to well."

Sirius kissed Remus softly on his lips, then moved towards one arm. He slipped off the silver band &amp; tossed it aside. He took up Remus's other hand &amp; kissed it, breaking down again. _"Je t'aime (I love you)!"_ Sniffling &amp; wiping away tears so he could see, Sirius worked on removing the other silver arm band. "Oh Ray. Why?" He petted the long hairs covering Remus's arm. "Why must everything be so fucked up between us?" Tracing the long suicidal scar, Sirius leaned over &amp; kissed Remus one last time. "It just isn't fair! You weren't like other wolves. He had no right to take you from me!"

Sirius suddenly stood up &amp; with a loud cry, he threw the second silver armband so hard across the room that it shattered the window &amp; fell outside. He looked back on Remus. Both arms bore many clusters of blood as if leeches had been sucking on him, caused by the silver seeping in. Sirius threw himself down over Remus, crying so hard his throat turned raw.

Kingsley, Avery &amp; four others paused in their search as they heard glass blow apart. Kingsley pointed up. "It's upstairs." They hurried forward once more. They soon located the room &amp; tried to enter.

"CRUCIO!"

Kingsley was flung back into the opposite wall. The others dived away from the door out of the way. Kingsley picked himself up. It had only lasted a second, just enough to get rid of him. He cautiously peered around the doorframe.

Sirius &amp; Remus lay together on the floor. Sirius was partly on Remus, face buried into the scarred &amp; wounded chest, heaving with sobs. Remus looked dead. Feeling like an intruder but knowing he had to get Sirius to calm down enough so he wouldn't attack other Aurors, Kingsley slowly tried to enter the room again.

"STAY BACK!" Sirius screamed at him, raising his wand as well as his face, which was covered in blood from the wound. "I'LL KILL YOU! SWEAR TO GOD I'LL KILL YOU!"

Kingsley wisely stepped back out of sight. "Sirius, it's me. Kingsley Shacklebolt. I'm not Orion!"

"Don't say that name to me! You hear me?" Sirius bellowed through tears. "Don't ever mention his name again!"

Kingsley pressed himself against the wall next to the door, just out of Sirius's line of sight. Avery was on the other side. Kingsley spoke so low, he barely made a sound. "Avery. What do I do? We have to calm Sirius down or he'll take us all out."

"He's quick with his spells," Avery whispered back. "Dumbledore's best, no wonder. We should try to stun him."

Kingsley stole a glance inside for a moment. "Poor man. Looks like he'll take a long time to recover."

Avery stared at the wall. "I lost someone once. It isn't pretty." Kingsley looked at him but Avery was already holding his wand up. "Let's try to disarm him first. All he can see is Orion right now. We have to be quick."

They turned quickly into the room. Sirius's wand went flying with Avery's spell. He made a move to get it but Kingsley suddenly pinned him with his own spell. Sirius was pressed against the wall. Kingsley &amp; Avery stopped in the center of the room, trying to appear as non-threatening as possible.

"I am sorry for your loss," Kingsley began. "But neither of us did this. We know who. Calm down please before you hurt some innocent bystander."

"What do any of you care?" Sirius replied angrily. "He was just a werewolf to you!"

Kingsley tried to keep an even voice. "I was Remus's friend long before I knew he was a wolf. You're not the only one mourning his loss. I'm going to let you loose now. Ok?" He slowly let the spell dissipate.

Sirius slipped down the wall, pressing both hands to his heart. "It still hurts so." He lay next to Remus again.

Kingsley felt awkward &amp; intrusive but he had no choice. Sirius needed space but Orion was still at large &amp; James was missing. James. Use him! "Sirius, James is still out there. We need you. Would Remus have wanted you to abandon one friend over another?"

It had the opposite affect. "Oh Jim!" Sirius buried his face in Remus's chest. "How am I supposed to explain this to Jim? I failed." /Ray I'm so sorry! I couldn't protect you. I just wasn't fast enough!/

/Typical Captain Kirk./

Sirius fell silent so fast that Kingsley &amp; Avery wondered if Sirius had passed out. Sirius raised his head, looking into Remus's face. "Remus?!" He gasped, daring to breathe.

Kingsley shared a look with Avery. "Siri—"

"No no no, wait a minute," Sirius raised a hand to silence him, still staring down at Remus. "Just shush." He put his head down, listening. /Remus?/

/Moony. Remus passed out from the trauma several minutes ago. He can't answer you right now./

/Dead?/

/Nearly./ There was a long moment as Sirius felt a panic rising. Moony suddenly added. /So am I./

/Moony./ Sirius shifted his right hand to just below Remus's heart. /Moony please tell me how to save you! I love you so. I can't lose you./

/Oh calm yourself Padfoot. Kingsley is right. I should eat him./

"Moony!" Sirius chastised aloud.

"Is he still alive?" Kingsley asked softly.

"Hang on," Sirius pressed down on the Lycan symbiont. /Moony, can you revive Remus then? You two are linked. You share one life./

/Even if I wasn't so weak, I can do nothing but I don't have to. You saved us. Almost too late. Just like Kirk, show up at the last moment. The silver was suppressing me. Hurt so much we couldn't use our bond to touch you before now./

/Ok ...alright./ Sirius nearly sobbed with relief. /What do you need?/

/Blood./

/Moony, no. That will turn you mad then I would have to kill you anyway./

/You idiot. The chest of my host is ripped open. He hardly has any blood left. We need blood./

"I need a Healer," Sirius sat up fast.

/Hurry little lover. I'm fading fast. We both are./

Sirius ground his teeth. Even nearly dead, the sinisterly sarcastic attitude of the inner wolf was still—annoyingly—present. Remus was the exact opposite except at times both he &amp; Moony agreed on something (in which case all hell would break loose). "Now! I can repair wounds but I'm not this good. Hurry!"

"I'm a Healer part time," Avery stepped forward.

"How fast can we close this wound?"

"With both of us working on it, I'd say several minutes."

"Then help me!" Sirius pointed his wand at the gash.

"Alright," Avery knelt beside Remus, across from Sirius. "But we have to hurry. There's a Grim about."

"Oh that stupid black mutt?" Sirius shrugged. "I thought the same for a moment, but it's just a stray. It's long gone." He ignored the stares as he bent over Remus, focusing on the chest wound.

Nearly ten minutes later, they had the wound closed enough so it wouldn't bleed any more. "I've never worked on a werewolf before," Avery mused, looking Remus over. "So many scars…"

"Most of those are done by the wolf during the full moon," Sirius said.

"He really looks dead."

"He nearly is."

"Then how—"

"Remus is the human host. Moony is the wolf," Sirius grabbed Avery's hand &amp; put it where Moony was. "Push down. Feel that? It's still alive. Remus is passed out &amp; almost gone but the life-force of that symbiont may be able to revive him. Our link is still open. I can hear the wolf within. So long as that's happening, we have a chance."

"How is that possible?"

Sirius sent Avery a look. "You're a muggleborn right? Have you ever had your car die &amp; you had to use cables to jump the battery?"

"Wow Mister Potter wasn't kidding about you," Avery smiled. "You really are a blood traitor."

"Mhm &amp; proud of it."

"So you think this uh this symbiont is like a battery then?" Avery asked. "How do you propose we jump start it?" 

/Really? A battery? Is that what you take me for?/

/Shut up. I'm making it up as I go./

/I will eat you./

/I'll enjoy it!/

/Sick man./

/You're one to talk. Bloody Dom. Literally./

/You enjoy it./

/Can we not have this conversation right now?/

The entire mental banter happened in a nanosecond a moment before Sirius answered Avery. "With blood," Sirius slashed open his own wrist. "Take as much as you need. I don't care if I die if it saves him." He lay down by Remus, holding his arm out to Avery.

"Are you serious?" Avery glanced between the pair. Sirius just gave him uh-well-duh sort of look. "Right. Never mind."

/Seriously ...hurry up. I'm nearly done for./

Kingsley rolled his eyes as Sirius said, "Hurry, he can't hold on much longer. A werewolf can take any blood type so there's no need to wait."

"Well I won't kill you for it," Avery made an incision on Remus right over Moony. He then connected the two cuts with a transference spell that quickly turned red with blood as it flowed between the pair.

Sirius closed his eyes &amp; lay still. Avery had put a charm over his wrist so he wouldn't feel the sting of the wound. Avery let the flow continue for only a few minutes, then tried to stop. Sirius pushed him away.

"Sirius, it's enough for now."

"No. No! He needs more. I'm fine," Sirius said. "Just a bit more. A little longer. I can feel him."

Avery shook his head but let it flow for a little longer. Sirius suddenly shook as if cold. "That's it, I'm stopping it." Avery aimed for the blood link.

"No! Let him have it! Please!"

"Sirius Black you really are crazy!" Avery ignored his pleadings &amp; cut the link, then healed both incisions. "He has quite a bit. You can't give more. If he needs more, one of us can give it. But let's just wait a bit. He might have enough by now."

Sirius pushed himself up so he could watch Remus. "He's not awake. He isn't up yet."

"Give him a moment," said Avery.

/Moony is it enough? Is it enough?!/

The symbiont didn't answer; though, Sirius could sense their link just fine. They waited a few more minutes, then suddenly Remus gasped &amp; opened his eyes. Sirius nearly died with relief but his victory was short lived.

"YOU MONSTER!" Remus growled &amp; attacked with werewolf strength. Kingsley &amp; Avery tumbled out into the hall the moment before the pair crashed into the wall by the door.

"I wondered if giving him blood would turn him mad!" Avery gasped as a horrible fight sounded behind them in the room.

Sirius was thrown to his side as Remus pounced on him &amp; put his hands around the neck, growling loud through gritted fangs. Sirius punched Remus in the throat, making the werewolf gasp for air &amp; roll back from the blow. Sirius shot to his feet as Kingsley &amp; Avery pointed their wands at Remus.

"NO DON'T!" Sirius jumped between them. "Leave him be."

"But Si—"

"Just wait!" Sirius turned back to Remus who was growling viciously. Remus charged forward, growling. "Ray it's me. Sirius! I can prove it! Look!" He bared his shoulder where Azkaban's numerical markings had been inscribed. Padfoot appeared &amp; she ran around &amp; around them, barking madly. "Does Orion have the marks of Azkaban?"

Remus panted for breath but slowly stopped growling. Sirius. Not Orion. He snarled low. He came close &amp; moved in so that his nose was an inch away from the tattoos. "Not yet."

"Sirius!" Kingsley yelped. He could see flecks of red shining in the gold. The werewolf was mad.

"Leave him," Sirius kept his eyes on Remus. Padfoot ran faster around the marks. Remus hissed softly, but pulled away much to Kingsley's relief.

"Sirius," Remus gasped softly.

"It's ok." Sirius spoke softly as Remus started shaking, realising what he had nearly done. "It's ok sweetheart. Calm down." He took off his jacket as he began to slowly move towards Remus.

"Sirius," Kingsley began. "You're crazy!"

"Shh!" Sirius reproached him. "Orion just traumatised him. Give him a moment."

"I'm sorry," Remus said weakly. "I thought you were Orion."

"Yeah I know," Sirius muttered. He held out the jacket. "We look a lot alike."

"I'm sorry," Remus repeated, taking the coat &amp; covering himself with it. "I thought I had woken back into a nightmare."

Sirius spoke low in French. "Did he touch you somehow?"

"No," Remus whispered aloud (though the link said /later/), still shaken at nearly killing Sirius. "He threatened to get someone to do that to one of us though." He was suddenly crying softly. "Jim is amazing Sirius. He really is! Surviving that monster for two years. I don't know how he did it."

"Come here," Sirius pulled the distressed wolf to his chest.

"Sirius!" Avery gasped, worried that he might be bitten. Remus's eyes were shining amber, though spots of green now replaced the red, &amp; he was still flashing his fangs at times.

"Shh," Sirius stroked Remus's hair, ignoring Avery. "It's ok. You're safe now." /Tell me, what did he really do?/

/We'll discuss it later./ In a more steady voice Remus said out loud, "We need to keep Jim away from that man, Padfoot. We can't let him anywhere near Jim!"

"Shh, I'm here," Sirius continued to sooth him. "We'll get him soon. He'll pay."

Kingsley slowly moved closer. "Is he ok?"

"He's fine," Sirius said, holding Remus tightly. "He just thought of Orion first. See? He's quite tame." He put his fingers into Remus's mouth. Remus growled. "Shut up. You're not helping." Sirius kissed his nose.

"His eyes," Avery watched apprehensively. "They're not green."

Sirius pulled away, looking Remus over. "Yeah it's just Moony. Probably filling Remus in since he was passed out."

"I've never seen anything like that," Kingsley gasped.

"Oh he's fine," Sirius insisted. "We've raised him since he was a pup. He's our—"

"Sirius if you say pet, you die. Simple!" Remus pulled away &amp; crossed his arms.

"—thing we like to feed &amp; take care of," Sirius wisely changed his words.

Remus looked at Kingsley. "Can I eat him? Please?"

"He's your mate, not mine," Kingsley spluttered. "Sirius, are you sure he won't bite?"

"He bites all the time," Sirius shrugged, not thinking what he was saying. As an Animagus, what did it matter if some wolf bit him?

"He does?" Kingsley exclaimed in surprise. "What happened to him being tamed?"

Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius gulped. /Bloody moron! I got this./ "I can bite just fine without using my venom. All my teeth are slightly sharper. I tear his skin all the time."

"You know the taste of human blood?" Avery asked incredulously.

"Only of my mate," Remus shrugged. "It's different like that."

"I certainly hope so," Avery was still slightly apprehensive.

"It is," Remus insisted. "Sirius," he pointed to the floor in front of him. "Come here." Without a word, Sirius obeyed silently to the shock of onlookers as he went to his knees in front of the wolf. Remus grabbed Sirius's chin to tilt his face up to look at him. "You're a mess &amp; that's my blood." He cleaned Sirius's face quickly with magic. "That's better." He helped Sirius up, then turned to Kingsley. "We need to get downstairs &amp; find Orion."

Remus headed out the door &amp; down the hall without another word. Kingsley remarked to Sirius, "He's seems to be dominant. I take it he's an Alpha wolf?"

"He used to be," Sirius said as the group hurried after Remus. "But now only with me as a mate. For the whole pack, Harry stole the rank away, yet somehow survived without getting bitten or anything. Cheeky brat."

"Harry," Kingsley repeated. "You mean ... Harry Potter?"

"Yeah," said Sirius, staring at Remus who was across from him as they entered the lobby. Six other Aurors brought the four prisoners along. "This isn't right." He suddenly stopped.

"What?" Kingsley asked.

Sirius stared into space, thinking. In a daze he looked over those in the room, ending on Remus. The werewolf was leaning against the wall &amp; giving Sirius a subtle but obvious enough for Sirius 'come hither' look. Sirius had missed that look. He felt weak from knowing he had come so close to never seeing it again. Remus was a full grown wolf-man now. Strength of the wolf rippled through him. He could kill everyone in this room within a minute. But the beauty of the beast was that he could just as easily restrain himself. Sirius shook himself. Remus was distracting him.

Wait. Remus was distracting him.

Remus should be dead. Orion knew how to kill werewolves. He wasn't stupid enough to forget to cut out the symbiont. The cut he had done to Remus was usually the first in a series of butcher's work to carve the Lycan right out of the human. But he had only made the first cut. Then he left Remus in agony, but alive. Barely. Only just enough to keep them busy.

Sirius suddenly exclaimed. "Orion has James!"


	50. Chapter 50

_(I actually amazed myself at how dark I went here. Warning ahead: this turned into a very dark chapter containing a lot of abuse, not just sexual but also mental &amp; substantial. (I apologize in advance for the mild spoilers to those who read the whole thing but you'll understand...I hope.) For those who wish to skip ahead, simply read to the row of XXX's then scroll to the bottom (the end of the chapter) where I'll put a quick summary of only points needed for the next few chapters.)_

* * *

**(50) Marauders Tricks**

James felt as if he had been run over by the Hogwarts Express. He blinked one bleary eye a few times, trying to focus on the tiny spot of sky far above him. His other eye hurt too much to open right now. His whole body ached from the fall. James wanted to pass out. He closed his better eye. He lay in the dimness, trying to recover. The only reason he survived that fall was from the protection charms he &amp; every other Auror on the team had covered themselves with.

A loud rumble sounded around him &amp; the ground shook. James barely took a look but it was enough to know that not even the sky watched over him any more. The hole had closed up. He was buried under several feet of rubble in a small chamber that was slowly collapsing. Normally it wouldn't be a problem. A bit of magic would blast him out of here. James groaned. This whole thing started with a blast. If only he could move without hurting.

James remembered walking down the street with the others. Remus had suddenly pushed him sideways at the same moment his ears split with a loud bang. Remus must have dived out of the way in the opposite direction since James was now stuck down here alone. He shivered a little. It was cold down here. He still didn't move, being stunned without the use of any spell.

The distant drip of water was driving James crazy. He opened both eyes, then wished he hadn't as his right eye throbbed. He realised that he had indeed passed out but for how long could only be guessed. He stretched a little, testing his body. James spread his arms out on either side, feeling around. He finally located a long slim object lying nearby &amp; hoped it wasn't broken.

Slowly, he pulled his arms back in &amp; slid both hands up his sides to his chest. He felt the wand over. It seemed to be the same length. James sighed in relief. He didn't dare use any warped magic while he was injured if he could avoid it. Right now, the least amount of energy used, especially if it was dumped into a wand's core, the better. "Lumos." The cave lit up revealing rock &amp; debris everywhere in sight. But everything was still dim. He transferred a ball of light into his left palm, the blackness of his gloves a stark contrast to the white light. James closed his eyes once more, fighting off a headache caused partly by the light &amp; partly from trying to keeping his powers in check. "Accio glasses."

Several clinks were heard &amp; soon a pile of broken wire &amp; smashed lens scurried up to his chest. James fixed them &amp; put them on. The dimness was now clearer, but didn't change the fact that he hurt like hell &amp; was stuck down here. He suddenly felt damp underneath, then soaked. The water was filling up his cave. "Ohh you've got to be kidding me."

Knowing he was running out of time, James cast quick healing charms over his eye &amp; other worse injuries. He had somehow hurt his left wrist, sprained an ankle, impaled his back in at least three places &amp; a large gash on his right leg was still bleeding profusely. James closed it easily, being used to fixing large cuts. Having a pet werewolf had its benefits.

Gingerly, he stood up. Water surged into his boots, making James grimace. "Ok, where's that bloody leak?" He moved towards a collapsed wall &amp; began searching for it. After only a few moments, he found the crack where a steady stream of water was gushing in.

James pointed his wand at the nearest pile of rubble. "Wingardium Leviosa!" He floated several large broken pieces over &amp; shoved them into the hole. The water slowed down to nearly a stop. Next, he moved along the walls of his cave, pushing his wand forward, looking for a thin wall to break through. After ten minutes of searching, he found a weak spot &amp; blasted through.

James stepped out into a large underground tunnel with rail road tracks no longer used. It was a step up &amp; out of the water &amp; onto dry ground. He quickly dried himself off, then switched to Prongs. The stag had three other useful legs that worked better, though the left front hoof still hurt. Now with stronger hearing, he pricked his ears forward, listening for anything.

Prongs moved forward, his thick hooves clicking against stone &amp; metallic rails. The stag hobbled a ways down the underground until he found stairs leading up. He started climbing cautiously.

THUD!

Prongs made a sound that was part grunt &amp; part whistle with the impact. His body stumbled about trying to catch up to his head. When he suddenly put extra weight on an injured hoof, he stopped moving &amp; heaved a disheartened sigh before James reappeared, rubbing his head. "Bloody horns." Scowling, James cradled his left hand close to his chest &amp; climbed up, moving aside bits of debris as he went.

James came to a door that opened into an indoor parking lot. He put his wand away &amp; tried to look as muggle-like as possible, not knowing how far off he had gone to get out. He headed towards the far balcony, passing several parked cars. James paused by one black Lamborghini car &amp; studied it for a moment. He knew the creator of the company had ties to both wizard &amp; muggle sides but had never laid eyes on the muggle creations before now.

He glanced around but was alone. Discreetly he pointed his wand at the doors. "Alohomorah. Whoa!" He stepped back as the car doors unexpectedly swung up instead of out &amp; made it look like a butterfly. He quickly looked inside. "Sirius would love this."

"What's going on down there?"

_"Ah merde (Oh shit)!"_ James pulled himself out of the car, cracking his head against the doorframe. With a quick wave of his wand, the doors closed as James hurried away, rubbing his head with his good hand.

"Hey! Who's down there?"

Nobody! James put on the old familiar Death Cloak &amp; moved away. The person calling out came into the lot &amp; checked the car over. Satisfied there was nothing wrong, the man eventually sauntered off. James had both hands over his face as he doubled over in silent laughter.

When he finally regained control of himself, James moved to the balcony &amp; stepped up to the banister. He put the Cloak away &amp; looked down. The street on which the building was on was alive with cars moving back &amp; forth. Across that street were several muggle stores, banks &amp; other places. Beyond that, it looked like a warzone. The hole had taken out most of the street on which the hotel still stood. At either end were several muggle cop cars, lights flashing, parked in block formation to prevent anyone from going in. Detours had been set up for the muggle folk.

Lastly, James looked at the hotel itself, gripping the banister hard. Orion was in that building. He was so close. He could be looking out any of those windows right now, looking directly at James without being seen if he wanted to. James froze. The time was near when he would face Orion again. He had dodged the man for ten years, always knowing where he was but never having direct contact with him. James would like nothing better than to never see him again. He stood frozen, staring at the hotel, hating Orion ever more.

James gasped suddenly as something latched onto his arm. Startled, he tried to turn around, only to feel something prick his neck &amp; sink in. He locked eyes with a man sneering at him as he pushed against his neck. The man pulled away &amp; let James go. Letting something fall to the floor, he turned &amp; apparated away. James put a hand on the spot where whatever had pricked him &amp; glanced down. He picked up an instrument that had a needle at one end. He wasn't sure what it was (a muggle syringe) but had a feeling it was bad.

James pocketed the thing &amp; tested his foot again. It didn't hurt half as much as his wrist &amp; felt slightly better. He set off at a run but quickly stumbled to a stop, looking confused. Though he wouldn't transform in the muggle world, he still had access to some of Prongs's attributes. He should be able to run a little faster. James tried again but only ran as fast as a human could. He stopped &amp; put a hand to his neck again. He focused inward but couldn't feel the stag anywhere.

"No, oh no not Prongs! You sick animal! Take away my Prongs?" James stumbled into a washroom, sealed the door &amp; began stripping. "Please not the anti-magus potion. Prongs! Prongs where are you?"

He continued stripping, spinning around to check various parts of him in the mirrors. He couldn't feel the tattoo anywhere &amp; he couldn't see it. A panic attack swept over him. "Not Prongs! Not Prongs! I need him against you!" James removed the last article of clothing &amp; began double &amp; triple checking himself everywhere. He suddenly felt weak &amp; stopped to lie on the floor. James stared at the ceiling as his vision blurred. He closed his eyes, waiting for the panic to leave him. If he could calm down, he could find Prongs. Right?

James lay still, trying to slow the rush of his blood through his veins. He dreamed of lying naked on the floor of a forest. A large stag stood over him, head down to sniff his chest. The stag soon settled down right on him but James felt no weight. James suddenly opened his eyes again. He was still in the washroom &amp; it was getting cold on the floor. He stood up &amp; stared into the mirror. He spoke Lakotan. "Was that you Swift Horn? Are you still with me?" James gazed a long time into the mirrors, checking every last inch of his skin. The stag was nowhere to be seen on his front &amp; he couldn't feel it. He turned to check his back. There was a black mass on his tailbone. James stared at it, then nearly passed out with relief. Prongs was there, lying on his side, sleeping. "Prongs! You stupid thing. Wake up!" James shook his rump trying to get the stag off it. "Prongs? You've never done that before. What is the matter with you?" James shook himself again, but the great stag was oblivious.

James looked away, cracking his neck from peering over his shoulder for too long. The last time he lost contact with Prongs was during 6th year. His father had locked the stag up. But Prongs was wide awake &amp; had bars on him. James could also at least feel where he was. Now? Nothing. James ran a hand through his messy hair, thinking. He knew there was an anti-magus potion, but that took the Spirit away &amp; destroyed it. Prongs was fine, just passed out. "Oh Dad. You were right. What have I gotten myself into?" James sighed &amp; began to dress again.

He had plunged into Animagic &amp; just made it up as he went. He never knew what he was doing. None of them did. Risk after risk after death-defying risk. But he was way to stubborn to get proper training at the Ministry. They were all illegal, unregistered &amp; secret. Marauders only. Before letting his shirt fall down his back, James cast one last scowl at the useless stag lying across his tail bone, then finished getting dressed.

James paused at the door. Orion did this to him. James somehow knew it. Orion would know what to do. He put a hand in his pocket again &amp; pulled out the syringe. Inspecting it, he noticed a message had been written around it.

~~Shh Jim. Your stag is fine, but if you ever want him back, you'll have to do what I say. There is a small bakery just past the hotel, still under the Aurors' shield. It's been cleared out at the moment. Don't bother with the Ministry. It's my own personal spell. They won't know what to do. Also I just know how much you relish the idea of having to be registered! Come alone.

~~Orion

James had no choice but to go to Orion to fix the stag. He nearly felt sick, hating the fact that he needed Orion yet again. James sunk to the floor &amp; leaned against the door. "I hate you!" He wiped away angry tears. "I can't do this anymore. The hell with Dementors. I'll take what I need from you to fix my stag, then I'll kill you. I don't care anymore!" James pocketed the syringe again, then punched the floor. "I really don't!" He drew his knees up, wrapping his arms around them &amp; buried his face into them. His shoulders shook with quiet sobs. He needed Orion &amp; that was that. He hated that fact but couldn't do anything about it. The jibe about having to be registered didn't help. Orion was mocking James, knowing he prided himself on being special about doing Animagic alone. No matter what he did, who he turned to or how hard he tried, Orion always won. Always had the control.

"Orion!" James put his head back, banging against the door a few times in frustration. "I hate you so!" He gasped for breath. "I need you. Oh Merlin! I hate you! My poor stag. What did you do to him?"

James took nearly half an hour to relax enough to get up &amp; push forward. He flung the door open &amp; marched out, resigned to the fact that he would have to face Orion sooner than later.

James made his way through the streets, dodging several cops. He knew how to open the barrier to allow himself to slip through, but he avoided any Aurors looking for him. Instead, James turned &amp; headed down an alley, then stepped into a small bakery. He sat at one table &amp; waited. Alone. He was going to have to face Orion alone.

His table was farthest from the door &amp; off to the side. Anyone who came in would not see him right away but James had a clear view. He pulled out a small vial, opened it &amp; set it on the table. Still as stone, James turned his attention to the door &amp; waited.

He didn't have to wait long. Barely twenty minutes later, the door finally opened. James snatched his vial, drank whatever was in it, then put it away into his pocket. Not a moment to soon as none other than Orion entered &amp; glanced around. Their eyes met.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Orion half-smiled. "There you are." He came to the table &amp; sat down across from James.

"Why did you want me here?" James asked.

"I didn't have much choice in the matter," said Orion. "I wanted to go back to Grimmauld, but ever since it fell into Sirius's hands, I can't get within a block of my own home."

"We're close by," James said.

Orion smiled at James's discomfort. He knew the very mention of the place would put James on edge. He sat back, surveying James. "What a chase eh?"

"If you say so," James muttered.

"But I always win in the end, don't I?" Orion leaned across the table &amp; in a sing-song voice he finished triumphantly, "I got you."

"Orion?" James looked down at the tabletop. "I hate you."

"Now that isn't very nice of you," Orion pouted.

"Nice? You lied to me," James seethed in a dangerous low voice. "You told me they were all dead, that my wife was dead. But as for Harry, you had no choice since I overheard the conversation that my son destroyed Voldemort &amp; lived."

"I had to tell you something."

"A few days later, you told me Peter was dead."

"Everyone thought that."

"Then you waited a few more days," James went on. "I thought I couldn't feel any more pain then what I was already in. But you had to add to it eventually, didn't you? You just had to tell me at last that Sirius was dead. I cried for a week when you told me he was dead! It tore me to pieces. Did you think I would never find out?"

"How many times during that week did I offer to stop your tears?" Orion retorted. "You let yourself suffer."

"You know what Sirius was to me," James declared.

"Ever think that maybe I told you a little a time so you could get through it all?"

"Oh ho ho, don't say that!" James demanded. "Don't even think about telling me you did it to spare me."

"Maybe I did!"

"You saved the best for last, is all. You enjoyed telling me he was dead!"

"Sirius IS dead to me," Orion shrugged. "Besides, no one survived Azkaban beyond a year or two. I expected him to die anyway."

"But he didn't."

"Not my problem."

"Merlin, how I hate you!"

Orion scoffed softly, then reached out to take James's hand. James pulled away abruptly, making him wince as his left wrist flared up again. Orion pointed accusingly at James. "You dare call me a liar? Since when have I lied to you? I said your wife is dead. She is. As for Peter, everybody thought he was dead ok? Everybody! I heard about Remus's suicide attempt. Since he dropped off the face of the Earth with his dad, for all I knew he WAS dead. I thought it took &amp; as for Sirius, what would you rather I say? Oh good morning Jim Dear. By the way, Sirius is Dementor food now."

"Don't you d—"

"It is not my problem Sirius survived Azkaban," Orion cut James off. "No one survives that place for more than a year or two!"

"Sirius did."

"I really thought he'd be dead soon," Orion defended. "So I told you he was. How was I supposed to know he'd not only survive for over a decade but also escape? So don't you go calling me a liar!" He glared at James before continuing. "This has gone on long enough."

"Yeah, it has," James shot back, meaning something else.

Orion understood just fine however. He burst out laughing. "You think you're out? That you escaped? Jim you poor, poor love. I let you escape."

"You let me?" James derided. "Oh that is rich!"

Orion nodded. "I let you loose for a bit, so you could catch up on what you were missing with Harry."

"HEY YOU LEAVE MY SON OUT OF THIS!"

"It isn't my fault you wasted these years," Orion added. "You were supposed to actually go to Harry, not set up some weird survival plan. You were supposed to take care of him."

James slammed his better hand on the table so hard it vibrated. "YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY BOY!"

"I'm not interested in Harry," Orion laughed again. "You think I would want to go after him?"

"You started on me when I was young," James suddenly understood how his father had felt when he found out about Orion.

"You really don't know me, after all these years," Orion shook his head, amused. "Your son is a mudblood to me."

"DON'T YOU DARE—"

"I wouldn't bother with him to save my life," Orion laughed at James's outrage. "You wasted all that time when you could have been with him."

"Wasn't that a rather big risk?" James demanded. "You could have been caught if I had gone public back then."

"Why didn't you?" Orion was still amused.

James glared. "Keeping Harry away was more important."

"But there was no need for that," said Orion. "So why didn't you try turning me in before now?" James didn't answer. "I'll tell you why. You're too proud, too stubborn &amp; you'd rather be damned than have anyone, least of all Harry, know about me. Then of course, there was the issue of Prongs being a secret. I'm not even going to mention the horrific stuff you did to Pettigrew! Turning me in would have meant turning yourself in as well. It was only when you found your friends again were you able to play the pity card."

"I will murder you &amp; this time, I won't miss!"

"Ten whole years James!" Orion continued to laugh. "Think of all the stuff you missed with Harry since you were too busy trying to, how do you say it? Throw me off the trail!"

"Stop," James emphasised every word through gritted teeth. "Talking. About. Harry! HE IS OFF LIMITS!"

Orion snapped his fingers &amp; pointed at James again. "I decide what is off limits. You behave or else!"

James glared at him. "If my father was here ..."

"Well he isn't, is he?" Orion retorted. He sat back in his seat a little &amp; looked James over. He knew it would make James feel uncomfortable.

James shifted in his seat. "Keep pissing me off, Uncle. You know my sorcery is warped. Just wait. I'll have a fit soon enough. I'm surprised it hasn't happened yet."

"Try it," Orion offered. "Try your powers on me. Go ahead." He waited but James didn't do anything. "Harry's better than you are at the moment."

"Enough," James raised his hand, focusing all his hate towards Orion. Nothing happened. Slightly confused, James moved his index finger but still nothing. He grabbed his wand &amp; tried to cast a spell. "What the hell did you do now?"

"Why do you think I brought you here?" Orion actually had the nerve to wink. "There's a dampening spell here. Neither of us can access our powers &amp; neither can any Auror who comes in that door if they do. It's something similar to what I did to Prongs." James glared at him, putting his useless wand away. "Since it's an ancient magic of the Dark Arts, those Aurors won't know what to do. So go on," Orion sat back. "Get angry."

"So that's why you say I had to come to you to fix Prongs?" James asked. "Since the Ministry wouldn't even know what was done to him in the first place?"

"Precisely," Orion gloated. "After all this time, I knew you'd have to come crawling back sooner or later."

"I don't intend to stay," James said. "I have people looking out for me. They'll find you. Sirius will come for me."

"Sirius," Orion echoed the name. "Oh Jim, you don't get it. Sirius wanted you. Lily wanted you. But you belong to me." He stared James down before adding, "You know, I must say one thing though. If you had gone to your son, you might have found out about Sirius a lot sooner." He smiled at James's horrified expression.

"You said you wouldn't hurt me anymore," James said. "When I found out what really happ—Sirius! In Azka—how could you possibly let that happen? It broke my heart! Again." He put both hands on his face, trying to stop tears. "How could you do that to me?"

"I hurt you whenever you misbehave," Orion said. "But you know I always take your pain away."

"No," James shuddered, one hand over his mouth. He shook his head. "No, you just cover it up with lies."

"Hey I honestly thought Sirius was finished," Orion repeated. "Maybe not quite the way I told you. Better that than the truth, but he really should have died within the year. It isn't my fault."

"He never even should have been there in the first place!" James shouted through tears. "You put him there! YOU!" He got up &amp; went around the table. He grabbed Orion by the collar. "Don't just sit there, acting like it's all fine. Everything is your fault! Everything! EVERYTHING!" He pushed Orion hard into his seat. He suddenly collapsed against Orion's chest, crying. "I hate you!"

"I think we've covered that fact." Orion pulled James up closer against himself. He grabbed James by the chin. "Come here."

"No," James wept as he yanked away as best possible.

"Then I can't heal your pain," Orion stated. "Neither can I fix Prongs."

James finally turned to him. He glared for a long time, then moved into Orion's arms &amp; kissed him. Both tasted the salt of tears as Orion pulled James closer, deepening their kiss. James ended by biting down on Orion's lip before pulling away. "Why are you still hurting me?" James demanded, angry tears falling. "Haven't I suffered enough?"

"You beat me to a pulp, put me in a grave &amp; left me for dead!" Orion shouted at him, still gripping James firmly, unfortunately by the inured hand. James bit into his own lip to keep from screaming in pain. "I promised you I would punish you for it! I told you to make sure you'd kill me or you'd be sorry. Are you sorry yet James?"

"You destroyed me when I was but a child!"

"You were misbehaving!" Orion defended. "You didn't do what I told you to do, plus you were damn hot in that swim suit of yours."

"Oh!" James growled, trying to pull away. He suddenly cried out, being painfully reminded of his left wrist which Orion still gripped.

"What's wrong with you?" Orion looked down &amp; saw a black ugly bruise all around James's left wrist.

"Fell down a hole," James hissed through gritted teeth.

"This is broken."

"Let go!" James demanded, teeth still gritted against the pain. "You're hurting me."

"Good," Orion glared at him, tightening his grip. Tears stung James's eyes. "I'll fix it later. As for what happened when I first had you; most importantly, it taught Sirius a lesson!"

"No it drove Sirius completely away from you!" James shot back. "Why won't you let this end, Orion?"

"Because I'm not finished with you yet," Orion retorted as James tried to get up. "Come here!" He yanked James hard into his lap. "You're still acting up!"

"I'll never behave for you again. Never!"

"Have it your way," Orion forced his hand between James legs &amp; gripped hard.

James dug his nails into Orion's neck. "You crucified me. Had your way with me again. When does it fucking end?"

"When you're truly sorry," Orion huffed, rubbing James hard.

"Oh!" James gasped as his hips jerked against Orion's hand. "I am sorry! I wish I had never put you in that grave. I—oh!—wish I never even met you! I hate you so! I—mm! I wish this would end."

"You don't sound like it at the moment," Orion teased as he pulled away for a moment &amp; gingerly touched his bleeding lip with the same hand that had been rubbing James, glaring. James knew he'd be punished for it but didn't care. "How many times do we have this conversation Jim?" Orion asked rhetorically. "You always say stuff like that, then I help you, then you're fine."

"A never ending cycle," James said softly. "My God when will it end? When will you let me go? I'm sorry ok? What more can I say?"

"You might want to rethink that wish, James!" Orion replied. "You just don't get it, do you? I told you back then that you would never get away with it if you didn't kill me. Never! This will end when you're truly sorry &amp; do you know how?" He put his hand between James's legs again. "I'll kill you." James felt his heart skip a beat. Orion had never said that before. Orion went on. "You understand?" Orion pulled James close &amp; whispered in his ear. "Your Uncle is going to kill you. I deserve to have justice."

James shook suddenly as Orion continued to rub &amp; grope him. He was getting close. "Why tell me that?" James said in one shuddering breath. "Ohh...think it will scare me?"

"I can see that it does," Orion said. James closed his eyes &amp; tried to focus on getting off already so Orion would stop touching him. He usually didn't care about death, but if dying made Orion happy, he didn't want to die, at least not by his hands. With his other hand, Orion slipped a finger under the cuff of James's sleeve &amp; petted two faint scars. He knew which two they were. The light pressure on the scars aggravated the broken wrist. James grunted with the pain &amp; tried to pull away. "Guess you got over this then. Good. It'll keep you in line."

James gritted his teeth against a throb of pleasure going through him. He had learned long ago that ignoring Orion's touch was useless. "Why not kill me now then?"

"I don't believe you're sorry enough yet," Orion answered, intensifying his grip between James's legs until he knew it was causing pain. James cried out, throwing his head back. "Besides, I'm quite attached to you, Jim. You won't be sorry for a long time after telling you that, in a pathetic attempt to prolong your pathetic life," Orion finally released James's wrist with his free hand (the other was still rubbing James off) &amp; put that arm around James to keep him from pulling away. "The day you told me about those two little scars was when I knew I was going to kill you someday. But not yet. I'll have you all to myself for awhile. I'm rather enjoying you at the moment."

James pressed his forehead into Orion's neck, trying desperately to not give in to his touch, knowing it was ridiculous to try. "Only until Sirius gets his hands on you."

Orion stopped rubbing &amp; withdrew his hand, leaving James hard, hot &amp; frustrated in more ways than one. "If any one of you tries anything, Sirius dies. I have people working for me who are keeping their wands trained on him at all times. So go ahead. Try to get him to save you." He put a hand on James again, gripping firmly. James groaned at the grasp. "What would you do, to keep your beloved Sirius safe, hmm?"

James looked into Orion's eyes. He started to give up hope. Even with downing an antidote to something he was sure Orion would try giving him, he was stuck. "Anything, Uncle Orion," James said through tears. He gave up &amp; buried his face in Orion's shoulder. "A-Anything!"

Orion murmured in James's ear. "Then say my name again." James tried to glare, but his mind was getting befuddled. "His fate is in your hands," Orion forced James's face up &amp; kissed him hard. He continued stroking James at the same time, knowing he was near the end.

James didn't resist. He returned the kiss &amp; focused on coming. He suddenly pulled away &amp; curled up in Orion's lap. "Ohh! Oh Merlin! Orion!" He gritted his teeth as the pleasure high engulfed him. Orion held on, knowing James took a while. James soon went limp in his arms. "Thank you, sir," He gasped, hating Orion but terrified to show it anymore lest it caused Sirius's death.

"That's better," Orion said. He put a vial on the table.

"Is that to fix Prongs?"

"Not yet," Orion said. "Soon. This is the one to make you not care. It'll ease your pain."

"What the fuck you do to Prongs?" James demanded, ignoring the vial &amp; hating that Orion ever even knew of the stag. But worse, he hated that such Dark foul magic was in his body as well as over it. His heart was pounding so hard, he could barely think. Ten years, yet here they were having a conversation with James once more in Orion's lap.

Orion raised a hand. "Relax, dear boy." James glared. "Relax. He's fine."

"What is this?" James pulled out the empty syringe &amp; put it on the table. "Someone jabbed me in the neck with it."

"He works for me," Orion said. "That's a muggle instrument. I thought it was fitting to use on a blood traitor. It's the potion that knocked out your Spirit for a bit."

"I want my stag back!" James declared. He tried to get up &amp; Orion let him go. James went back to his own seat, holding his broken wrist protectively against his body.

"You know I always give you what you want," Orion slid the vial across to James. "First things first. Drink that, then I'll free your stag."

James glanced at it, then glared at Orion again. "I know what that is. I'm not drinking any more of it!"

Orion leaned back in his seat. "Then I can't fix your stag." He smirked. James hated him. They stared each other down. "Take it Jim. You know all pain you're feeling will go away with it."

James glared at the vial, psyching himself up. Fact was, Orion was right. That potion would make everything go away, like he wouldn't care anymore. It was like how Vallium worked for muggles. The problem was, it had other worse side affects than simply putting a stop to caring. It was so much more than that.

But James had already prepared for this. He didn't tell anyone. No one knew what was truly going on, what kind of power &amp; control Orion really had over him. Even James hadn't realised until now just how much control Orion had over him as he thought over what had just happened between them. Without spells or potions, Orion had still made him dance. It took all his willpower to not lie down on the floor &amp; die right there from the humiliation he had just gone through. Ten years of freedom &amp; he had barely put up a fight. But James was trying to break all control. He had taken the antidote. Now, could he do it? Drink Orion's control &amp; pretend it worked. He hated the man so much, that it seemed nigh to impossible. Or would it be just as easy as it had been a moment ago? But it was the only way to break control &amp; get Prongs back. It was the only way to save Sirius. James took the vial at last &amp; uncorked it. "Fuck you." He downed it in one shot as Orion watched, grinning.

"You will," Orion purred slyly. James threw the empty vial hard in Orion's face. Orion just laughed. "I've got you by the balls, Jim. Literally." James glared so much, he nearly forgot that he had just taken that special potion. Orion winked at him. "Oh what a sordid game we play."

James snapped out of it, cast a sweet smile as if the contents of the vial had taken over, stood up &amp; came around the table once more. He slipped easily into Orion's lap, laying his head on Orion's chest. "Now can you fix Prongs?"

"Ask me properly &amp; I'll think about it," He leaned in &amp; began kissing James's neck.

"Please Uncle, fix Prongs now."

"That's better, isn't it love?" Orion held James close. He felt James nod silently against his chest. "You know, by the time this day is over, I have a surprise for you. A good one, don't worry. Come with me." He pushed James back &amp; got up. Orion took James by the hand &amp; led him away.

They left the bakery &amp; headed down the street, taking care to stay away from the edge of the hole. Orion pulled James into an empty building right at the edge of the shield. "Give me your hand," He stopped suddenly &amp; turned to James.

Terrified of what Orion would try to do to his injury, James almost didn't obey. He reminded himself that he had taken that potion. James gritted his teeth &amp; held up his broken wrist. "Ow," James gasped as Orion took his left hand into his own.

"You really smashed this up," Orion inspected the black bruise where a piece of bone bulged out. He was amazingly, gentle about it, but James didn't let his guard down for a second. Orion pulled out his wand &amp; James had to make a split second decision. Pull away now before getting seriously hurt, or continue to feign being drugged &amp; trust Orion to stop hurting him. He thought of Sirius getting killed &amp; nearly cracked his teeth in preparation of whatever horror Orion was going to do to him. Orion whispered a spell &amp; James felt a cooling sensation in his wrist. The black bruise shrunk until it was gone. "There," Orion turned to walk down the hallway. "It'll be a bit sore for a while, but at least it's no longer broken."

James stared for a moment, not believing his luck. "Thank you."

"Oh you'll thank me alright," Orion led the way through the building.

They passed through several corridors, heading towards the back doors. Orion turned sharply, making James crash into his arms. He held James close, kissing him hard. James slid his hands down Orion's side, then let them fall. He leaned into the kiss, willing Orion to go in further. He hated this. But he had to allow Orion as much control as he thought he had or James would never get Prongs back.

Orion passed his hands down James's sides. He felt the leather of James's gloves slip into his palms. James had taken hold of both his hands on either side &amp; guided his hands to his hips, then behind. Orion grasped James's arse firmly &amp; crushed them together while still Frenching him harder than before.

James leaned in &amp; moaned softly. If he can get through this, Prongs was waiting for him. Get Prongs. Kill. Get out. Right now, just kiss deeper. Orion pulled away slightly as both needed air. James decided to lay it on thick. "I've missed you, Uncle." He wrapped his arms around Orion's neck &amp; pressed their noses together.

"That was one hell of a chase you gave me," Orion said in a slightly accusing tone. "You know I'll have to punish you for that."

James giggled as best possible. "But make up sex is supposed to be the best kind."

"True that," Orion said. "Here." He pulled out another vial.

James hoped with all his heart that it was the one to fix Prongs. "Is that for me?"

Orion nodded &amp; waited for James to take it. James couldn't hesitate or else Orion would know that his control wasn't working. James downed it. Orion smiled. "I always keep one of those on hand." James stared at him, trying to act sweet. But he still couldn't feel Prongs. What the hell had he swallowed? He didn't take any antidotes for anything else. "It's just a bit of an aphrodisiac," Orion smiled. "Since I recently rubbed you off, you'll need this."

"Why?" James smiled oh-so-sweetly.

"Well," Orion pulled James close. "You said you were going to fuck me, so do it." He quickly grabbed James again &amp; James felt a sudden rush.

James gasped at the touch. Get Prongs. Save Sirius. Get Prongs. Save Sirius. James dared not ask again about Prongs or else Orion might think he was being nice just to get his stag back, which was precisely the truth. Just give Prongs back! James inwardly groaned as he forced himself to return the favour. "Think you're up for it after ten dry years?"

"Oh I had a girl or two while waiting around for you," Orion tipped his head back, pressing hard into James's hand.

James tried not to think of Lily. He stopped stroking Orion. "You know, I can get through the barrier but you can't. How are we both supposed to get out of here?"

"I have my ways," Orion put his hands over James's shoulders &amp; pushed down.

Knowing what Orion wanted, James went to his knees. Orion kept their bodies tightly pressed together as James went down &amp; thrusted against him, hitting upwards against James, even against his Adam's apple. James put a hand on Orion's belt &amp; began working on it. He slowly got it opened, stalling for time as he thought fast. He suddenly paused &amp; looked up. "Is this a good idea right now? What if someone walks in on us?"

"That just makes it more fun," Orion replied.

James cast him his best sweetest smile yet. "It does, doesn't it?" He slipped both hands inside Orion's open pants &amp; began teasing the hot flesh. His mind was spinning, thinking of one way or another to get out of this. He hadn't planned on it going this far. Having Prongs knocked out was never part of the plan. Neither was taking anything Orion would give him outside of what he had an antidote for. The aphrodisiac was strong &amp; James had become so horny so fast in spite of himself that he could barely think straight. He had hoped Orion would fix Prongs right away. James closed his mind to any emotion. He was just getting Prongs &amp; keeping Sirius safe. He pushed back the material, exposing Orion. He really didn't want to do this again; though his brain wasn't sending that message to the rest of his body. James suddenly had an idea. "You &amp; I both know how much you like it when Prongs does this, what with that big rough tongue of his. Would you like me to use the stag?"

"Yes, but not this time," Orion put his hands into James's hair. "You want that stag back really bad don't you?"

Uh oh! James mentally cursed himself. This was exactly what he was afraid of. "I do want him back," James admitted. "But I know that he's safe &amp; you'll take care of us."

"Prove it," Orion pulled James's head closer, not trusting him.

Without another word, James took Orion's length into his mouth. He hated it. He wanted to bite down &amp; make Orion scream. He wanted to scream. He wanted to tear Orion to pieces, hurt every inch of him. He wanted to be alone so he could handle the affects of that second potion himself.

He wanted his damn stag back! What the hell would he have to do to revive Prongs? Slowly, another idea formed in his mind. James wanted to throw up but it just might work. He pulled away from Orion &amp; began to get up, keeping his face pressed against Orion's body. He left a trail of kisses up Orion's chest, then kissed his lips. "Turn around." He whispered softly. Orion gave him a look, still not trusting him. "It's ok," James gripped Orion firmly, rubbing the smooth leather against the aroused flesh. "Turn around." James released Orion &amp; began undoing his own belt. Orion watched every movement until James had revealed himself.

Orion grabbed James firmly, hard enough to hurt him but James didn't flinch. Satisfied, Orion turned. James forced himself into Orion. He felt like he was raping himself. He was in no mood for this &amp; had to concentrate hard. The potion may have made him hard, but it had no effect on his emotions &amp; he'd have rather handled the annoying problem himself. Just get Prongs. He reached around Orion's hips &amp; began stroking him. James knew exactly how &amp; where to touch him, having been stuck with him for two years. The sooner he satisfied Orion, the sooner Prongs would be awake...which meant the sooner Orion would die. This was the last time! James pushed hard suddenly, making Orion gasp as he came. He started to pull out despite wanting desperately to just finish off. He wished his body would catch up with his mind.

"No no," Orion leaned back, pinning James between himself &amp; the wall. "Let me feel you finish. You've earned it."

James wished he could just kill him already. He earned Prongs, not some unwanted release. He really wasn't in the mood ...&amp; Orion was beginning to catch on. James forced himself to continue, wishing he could tap into Prongs. That stag was always horny, not just for bearing antlers either. But Prongs was useless. James didn't know what else to do. If Orion found out he was just pretending, he would seriously hurt James &amp; withhold whatever was needed to heal Prongs, possibly forever. James closed his eyes, leaning his head on the back of Orion's shoulder. His thoughts turned to Lily.

The first time they had ever shared a bed together was their wedding night. Lily had come up to him, kissed him &amp; said, "Jim, we don't have to do anything you don't want to do." Their roles had been reversed from the get-go. She was the virgin, yet he was the one who had needed encouragement.

But she was wrong this time. James didn't want anything to do with Orion, but he had to continue to rescue Prongs. Stop thinking of Orion, get back to Lily. Besides, the more he catered to Orion, the better off Sirius was.

He had told her, "It's ok." He had picked her up &amp; laid her on their bed. It's ok now. Prongs was with him &amp; will soon be revived.

James had hesitated a bit before lying on Lily. She had lain back, letting her red hair fall over the edge as he pressed in that first time. Rutting with a girl was so different from the touch Sirius had given him so it had been a new experience. Sirius! Hadn't Sirius once taught him how to use sexual energy by just thinking about it? James realised he was doing just that on instinct. James focused on being with Lily &amp; Sirius &amp; tried to forget Orion, if just for a moment.

Sirius would touch the tender spots between his legs.

Lily would suck at his throat while using her long nails to tease him.

James suddenly felt the power of that aphrodisiac move through him. Having never used one before, he caught him by surprise. There was no stopping it &amp; James hated it. But there was no choice but to let go &amp; share what would be his best orgasm with the one he hated most of all in the whole universe. He suddenly collapsed on Orion. He had done it. He really had given Orion everything. Now, would he get Prongs &amp; Sirius's life in return? James swore to himself he would never tell anyone what had just happened. Orion turned back to James &amp; kissed him. "There, was that so hard?"

James forced himself to burst out laughing. "Oh come on. That joke is so old!" He would make sure Orion died painfully. James made it a point to watch Orion cover up &amp; waited until Orion stepped away to do the same. Nonchalantly as possible, James rubbed the back of his neck—with the same hand that rubbed Orion—he realised without even planning. "So any idea of how to get out of here?"

Orion put a hand on James's cheek, then leaned in &amp; kissed him. "Mhm," he took James by the hand once more &amp; led him on. He suddenly winked at James. "I'll need your stag." He stopped &amp; pulled out another vial &amp; made as if to hand it over. James reached for it, trying to hide the relief. It was almost over. Orion pulled it away at the last moment. James felt his heart thud wildly in his chest. He made another grab but Orion pulled it away again. Not knowing what to do or what to expect, James fell silent. Orion laughed at him. "I'm just teasing you. Here," He gave it to James at last who downed it in one go.

He suddenly felt the tattoo get up &amp; bounce around his body in a frenzy, then settle over his heart. Orion headed for the back door. They went down one hall, towards the back of the warehouse. Both James &amp; Orion suddenly heard running footsteps coming after them. James glanced back &amp; saw Sirius leading the charge.

"James, come," Orion tugged on him. "Hurry." James ran by his side around the corner.

Sirius hurtled around the same corner a moment later &amp; fired a shot. "LET HIM GO!" James &amp; Orion both ducked &amp; the spell just missed their heads. "Jim," Sirius gasped, holding out his hand. "Come here."

Remus appeared behind him. "Prongs. Come on. Follow me out."

"No," James said, stalling for time until the others caught up. "I'm going with Orion."

Both Sirius &amp; Remus shared a confused look. "What? No you're not!" Remus said.

"It's ok. We've got him now. Come back," Sirius inched forward.

"No ...Black." James insisted. The place was too narrow &amp; the other Aurors couldn't help much. "I want to be with Orion. I'm going with him!" He wanted to be out in the open so it would be easier to trap Orion.

"We won't let you get away this time," Remus shot a spell at Orion but it was easily deflected in the narrow hall.

Orion put a hand on James's shoulder. "I told you little wolf. I would end up with James in the end."

Remus shook his head. "James hates you. What did you do to him?"

"Nothing," Orion shrugged. "James does not hate me any more. We got over that little incident back in 6th grade. He comes of his own free will."

"I don't believe it!" Sirius raised his wand.

"Orion? Let's go!" James grabbed his hand &amp; pulled him away.

Orion &amp; James burst out the door &amp; ran down the empty street. James tripped on purpose &amp; fell down, allowing the Aurors to catch up. It made Orion stop &amp; come back. "You ok?" Orion helped him up.

"Yeah, I think so," James leaned against Orion's side. He'd be better once the group was spread out.

Orion smiled at him. "I knew you'd want to come back to me eventually."

"Dad! Stop! Let him go!" Sirius came running after them, with Remus close behind.

James suddenly saw the other Aurors gather behind with Remus &amp; Sirius at the front, both glaring daggers. They demanded his release again as others closed in.

"You're surrounded Orion," Kingsley shot the man a look of pure venom. "James Potter belongs to us now. Release him."

Orion started laughing, softly at first but it grew louder. James kept both hands behind him as he slowly stepped around Orion to face him. James pulled his hands forward &amp; held up his wand. "What are you doing Jim?"

James didn't answer. He aimed his wand at Orion's heart, glaring. He stood there, silently, the breeze making his Auror's cloak shift around him. His face said it all. He was done. He was out. It was over! He said under breath, "I drank the antidote!"

"I had a feeling something was off about you," Orion muttered, then smiled softly at him. "So Sirius dies then?" He smiled wider as James glanced around, meeting Sirius's gaze. Orion put a hand out &amp; made James look at him. "Look in the window of the fourth floor on the building to your left." James did so, after which Orion directed him to four more windows. There was someone in each &amp; all had wands pointing at Sirius. "It's your choice, sweetheart. Do you really want to play at love, only to lose the one you once claimed to love?" He waited for a bit, then said in a louder voice so all could hear, "One wrong move from any of you &amp; Sirius will be hit with several Death Curses at once. Stand down!" The Aurors all took a step back, apart from Sirius &amp; Remus. "It's upto you James."

James lowered his wand, clutching it with both hands to his chest. He looked behind him at Sirius again. He looked back at Orion, then suddenly, he cast aside his wand. It bounced &amp; rolled along the ground, ending up at Sirius's feet.

Sirius glanced down at it in confusion, then watched James. "No," He said softly.

Orion had his hands on James's shoulders. He pulled James close &amp; kissed him while James simply stood there &amp; allowed it to happen.

/Sirius, look at his hands. He doesn't want this!/

Sirius glanced down. He saw James curl his gloved hands into fists. They shook at his hips. He was hating this. Orion broke off &amp; James leaned against his chest. Orion looked up at one of the windows &amp; yelled, "KILL HIM!"

James gasped &amp; pulled away. Remus slammed into Sirius &amp; both went rolling into a wall out of sight. Aurors moved in &amp; the rest happened in a blur. Spells were shot at the windows to stun Orion's help if they could. Orion pushed James back, firing a shot at Kingsley. He ducked as three spells zoomed over him.

James turned away &amp; ran up a pile of rubble. "STOP!" He screamed at them. Everyone paused for a moment to look at him. James flicked his eyes down at his wand lying on the ground, then at Sirius crouched behind a broken wall. Sirius nodded once. "I'll go with Orion," James went on. "It isn't worth anyone's death. I'll just go."

Orion picked up James's wand before Sirius had a chance to roll out &amp; get it. Sirius glared at him, then cast a helpless look at James. "Good choice." He turned back to the Aurors &amp; glanced up at the windows. "Hmm I still have some help left. You guys just can't win against me."

Remus growled so loud &amp; long at him that even the Aurors took a step away from him. "I'll get you!"

"Oh yes, I forgot about you," Orion glared at him, then at Sirius. "Do you want James back or not?"

"Of course I want him back!" Sirius retorted. "I WILL get him back."

Orion nodded towards someone unseen. Several men came out without warning &amp; the next thing anybody knew, two were holding Sirius tightly, wands at his throat while four others snatched Remus &amp; held their wands out against him. Both lost their wands which were tossed to the ground. "No don't move!" Orion ordered as Kingsley was in the process of raising his wand. "Any of you so much as think of firing spells at me, Sirius dies!"

Kingsley lowered his wand, glaring. "What do you want then?"

"I already have what I want. Jim," Orion cast him a look. "Remember I mentioned I have a surprise for you? Kill the wolf &amp; Sirius is free from his bonds. You can take Sirius back home with us."

"Don't touch Remus!" James exclaimed.

"I'm a werewolf hunter," Orion said, raising his wand at Remus. "You simply get to decide if Sirius comes with us or stays behind."

"Sirius?" James scoffed. "You want to trap Sirius now to?"

"For you," Orion said. "More importantly, it gets rid of another werewolf."

"Leave them be," James stepped slowly towards Orion. "It's just us."

Orion glared at him. "You &amp; I both know that's a lie. How many times have you cried for Sirius, hmm?" Sirius lowered his eyes as Remus huffed. Orion went on, "You've lived with me for two years. I know all your secrets. Every. Last. One." He turned to Remus who struggled against his captors but they pressed silver against him. "How does it feel, wolf? Knowing your mate wasn't yours to begin with?"

_"Excuse-moi (Excuse me)?" _Remus laughed in spite of himself. "He was the whore of Hogwarts for a few years before I had an interest in him."

"He had James before you," Orion pointed out.

"Good!" Remus shot back with a growl. "I would have claimed Jim myself if I had gotten to him first. Anything to remove your foul presence." He was snarling so viciously that those holding him back were beginning to worry. His eyes had turned gold. Moony had taken over.

"Sirius isn't the only one I missed," James snapped. "You left out the fact I cried for them all. You're just trying to get them to turn on each other."

"That will never happen!" The voice was altered as Moony spoke. "Never again! You divided us once, you will not divide us again!"

Orion jumped a little &amp; stepped back. "I've heard a Lycan's true voice once before. It didn't end well. Kill him now." One of the men holding Remus back pulled out a silver knife. Sirius felt a panic rise within that wasn't entirely his own &amp; tried to catch Remus's eye, but the wolf was still glaring defiantly at Orion.

/Remus!/

/If he does manage to kill me, I know you'll make him suffer./

"No!" James screamed, running forward. Orion caught him &amp; held him back. "No! Please don't! Please, I can stop him. Don't kill him. He'll listen to me!"

"Did you not hear that altered voice?" Orion shot back. "All wild werewolves use it."

"HE'S NOT WILD! I hear it often," James stopped struggling, watching Remus. "It's playful most of the time. Please. Don't."

"Enough Jim!" Orion hauled him back. He nodded to the man holding the knife after staring a moment in surprise at James's outburst. "Get rid of it right n—" There was a crashing of glass &amp; one of Orion's men went flying out the window.

Avery leaned out of it. "All clear!"

Kingsley blasted into the group holding Remus down, throwing all of them off their feet. Remus flipped to his feet quicker than anyone else. Kingsley moved forward. "Orion you failed!" Kingsley addressed him, trying to not think of the fact that he had just released an exceedingly infuriated werewolf. He's friendly. He's friendly. "You think I'd bring all the Aurors here at once? No, I'm just the decoy! Just like earlier, when most of us played dead. You thought you could come out then, but you were wrong."

James pounced on Orion &amp; snatched his wand back. He held it with both hands almost like a muggle held a pistol. "It's over Orion. Now I'll make you pay for everything you've ever done!"

James sent him such a look of evil that it nearly killed Orion. It was over. Sirius was safe. Prongs was free ...&amp; so was James. Orion was hit with so many spells that it was nearly unfair. He collapsed in a heap on the ground as Remus launched himself onto him, roaring madly. Remus pinned Orion like a lion pinned a kill.

Kingsley looked down at the pair, Remus clamping his jaws firmly around the throat, then looked at Sirius. "Are you sure he's safe?"

"Remus? Yeah. Orion? Not so much." Sirius leaned down &amp; pushed on Remus, making him growl. Sirius let him growl as there was good reason for it. "We got him. It's ok Moony. He won't go anywhere now." Orion's eyes fluttered half-open. Feeling Remus at his throat, he gasped. It only made the wolf clamp down harder. Sirius smiled. "Yet you think he's wild. Do you have any idea how much control he has to put in right now, making sure he doesn't tear your skin? Huh? He knows how far to go &amp; guess what? I'M the one who helped to teach him that!" Sirius kicked Orion hard in the ribs. Remus snarled softly. Sirius knelt in front of him &amp; stared into a sea of gold &amp; red. "It's ok now. Get up, Moony."

/By the way, you have any idea how sexy you look when you display all your strength like that?/ Sirius glanced over Remus. His muscles were bunched &amp; tense, holding not only Orion down but also Moony back just barely enough.

/You're bloody pathetic./ There was an inward scoff. /I think I'll have some of my own charges for him now./

Grumbling, Remus lifted off as Sirius, James, Kingsley &amp; several others secured Orion. James felt weak with relief. He leaned against Sirius as they watched the others drag Orion away. He felt himself sinking &amp; his vision went dark. He had passed out.

* * *

XXXXXXXXX **SUMMARY** XXXXXXXXX

Basically Orion traps James by controlling him with any means necessary, including a potion of control that makes James 'behave' for Orion. James however had taken an antidote for it, expecting Orion to try giving him the potion. (No one else knows about the kind or depth of control Orion has over James.) Orion also controls James by threatening to kill Sirius more than once. James demands to know when Orion will let him go &amp; is reminded that Orion had promised that James would never get away with trying to murder him &amp; is still waiting for James to be sorry for it. He then says that one day when he is sure James truly is sorry, he won't let him go but kill him. He tells James that he had been allowed to escape to go be with Harry for a bit but Orion would have taken James back eventually. They end up having a fight about Harry with Orion saying that he would never bother with Harry since he was a mudblood to him.

Having taken the antidote, James has no choice but to pretend he is under Orion's control, not only to spare Sirius's life but also his one. He ends up forcing himself to cater to Orion, even sex to get Prongs back, before they end up in a trap laid by Aurors. Orion nearly kills Remus again, telling James he can take Sirius home with him. James reveals he has taken the antidote &amp; turns on Orion at last. (Cue the references to the FFX wedding scenes lol) Orion is finally captured. James passes out with relief.

Orion had a shield set up around the bakery to cancel out magic which is why James didn't have a sorcery seizure during the time; though, it wasn't for lack of trying.

The potion of control will make a later appearance in more detail, showing just how far Orion went to kept James trapped.

* * *

_AN: Anyone who's ever played Final Fantasy X may recognise a few scenes of the wedding fiasco in that game. Actually there are two FFX references I just noticed. 90% of the time I do this automatically! Also ripped off a few more Sylar (Heroes) scenes &amp; two of Peter Petrelli's as well lol_


	51. Chapter 51

**(51) I Walk Alone**

James opened his eyes to find himself lying on a bed, staring at a ceiling. Firelight was dancing across it. He didn't remember ever getting here, wherever here was. He wished he could forget all the fresh memories from before when he arrived here. He slowly sat up.

There was a low whine like a puppy. James looked up into the eyes of Remus, hanging over the back of a couch, looking at him. Remus raised his head. "You ok now?"

James shifted to sit up against the headboard of the bed, with the pillows in between. He glanced around anxiously. "Where's Orion?"

"He's in Azkaban," said Remus as he stood up &amp; cautiously made his way over to the bedside. "It's over, Prongs. You're safe now. We're back in the hotel in Cardiff. We'll go home later in the morning."

James glanced at the window only to stare into pitch black. It was night-time. "What time is it?"

"About 1:30 in the morning," answered Remus.

There was a scuffling sound &amp; soon, Padfoot appeared as the Grim stood up. He trotted to Remus's side, then stood up as Sirius. "You passed out several hours ago."

"Sorry."

"James," Sirius laughed. "You have nothing to apologize for."

James knew otherwise. He had bowed down to Orion's wishes, did what he asked, even fucked Orion's mind out as if he actually wanted it. James would never admit it. He could never tell them, or anyone else, just how bad it had been. Least of all, he could never bring himself to look Sirius in the eye &amp; tell him he had catered to Orion's wishes. It was over. Why bring it up? He watched the pair share a look.

Remus nodded suddenly &amp; James realised they were having a telepathic conversation. Remus spoke softly, "No more secrets, Padfoot. It's what nearly destroyed us the last time."

Sirius sighed heavily then sat down on the edge of the bed. "Jim? We know. Just Remus &amp; I. We won't tell anyone without your permission."

"Know what?"

"Remember what I said a few months ago, back in Dumbledore's office?" Remus began. "How I knew from the beginning of 6th year what happened to you? I could smell it." James let out a small groan. "I caught the scent off Orion, then you. We know he touched you one last time." James looked away at the wall. Remus pressed on. "Jim, it's the last time."

"Can we not discuss it?" James suddenly shot at him. Ok fine. They knew what happened. But they didn't know how it happened &amp; he would never tell anyone.

Very slowly, Sirius put his hand over James's hand lying on the quilt. "Ok." James pulled his hand away. Sirius moved back a few inches. "You know we're both here for you, alright?" James could only make a small noise of confirmation. "Do you want something? Tea perhaps?"

"I'm fine," James moved to the far edge of the bed &amp; got out. Checking himself over, he noticed he was still in uniform. He didn't say more or look at them as he headed for the washroom &amp; closed the door.

Remus tossed himself across the bed &amp; glared half gold at the ceiling. "Maybe we should have waited to tell him we know what happened."

Sirius lay back beside him. "It would have hurt him, regardless. But it's better this way. At least he knows he has us to talk to since he refuses counselling."

Remus grumbled deep in his throat, trying to growl yet not growl. "Will we ever get our Stag back?"

"It's going to be a long, long road," Sirius said. "But maybe someday." He rolled to his side &amp; looked down at Remus. "By the way, never scare me like that again." He began petting Remus's hair.

"I thought you liked it when I growled like that."

"I mean before," Sirius explained. "When I saw you lying on the floor with your chest cut open, I thought you were dead."

Remus closed his eyes. "I thought I was done for to." He felt Sirius's soft kiss &amp; pulled him closer. /The irony of it is that a werewolf helped to catch him./

Sirius burst out laughing against Remus's lips. He sat up over Remus. "That is rather funny." He felt the wolf move under him as Remus suddenly stretched out, slightly arching his back. Sirius heard several small pops until the wolf settled again. He could crack joints in places most people didn't even know existed due to the transformations he went through. "So," Sirius put his hands on Remus's chest. "Do you want to have that little talk now?"

Remus looked up at him through half-closed eyes. "Ok," He covered Sirius's hands with his own &amp; slowly rolled sideways so Sirius would slip off. He kissed Sirius for a long moment, then pulled away &amp; sat up. "Ok." Remus stared into the fire for a moment before explaining what Orion had done. By the time he was finished, he was leaning against Sirius, crying into his shoulder.

Sirius held Remus tightly, rubbing his back. "I know it takes a lot to get even a single tear out of you outside full moons. No wonder your instincts kicked in like that."

"I almost killed you."

"You didn't," Sirius replied. "A wild wolf would have. But you didn't."

"I was so mad," Remus went on as he slowly calmed down. "Mad &amp; humiliated."

"Shh Ray," Sirius kissed his brow. "He's finished now. He'll never hurt Jim...or you...again."

Remus laid his head against Sirius's shoulder. "Jim really is resilient. Two years of that."

"I can see why you didn't tell me all right away," Sirius petted him softly. "I'd have lost it right then &amp; there."

"I got so scared when he did that," Remus admitted. "I thought maybe I had over-done it. I wanted to make him mad enough to kill me outright, when he threatened to have one of us raped. I've heard of werewolf pairs being ripped apart like that by other hunters having fun with the bitches. A literal kill two birds with one stone since both wolves die if one breaks the bond with another. It's apparently very agonising. I just wanted him to kill me right then &amp; there."

"Shh," Sirius pulled Remus down across the bed beside him. "I know. It's over now." He pressed his nose into Remus's throat. "What do you need?"

Remus held him away. In a low undertone, he asked, "Can you take care of it, like how you took care of Jim?"

Sirius half-smiled, leaning down to kiss Remus long &amp; hard. Remus felt Sirius's wandering hand slide down &amp; suddenly thrusted into his grasp. He growled under breath as he wrapped both arms around Sirius's neck &amp; pulled him deeper into their kiss. Remus pulled away in a gasp for air. His head was over the side of the bed, exposing his throat. Sirius sucked on his Adam's apple for a moment, still rubbing Remus with firm strokes.

"Feeling better?" Sirius asked.

"Mmm." Remus pushed himself up a bit to lean back on his arms. He raised one brow, watching Sirius.

"Come here," Sirius took hold of the wolf's face with both hands &amp; kissed him again. He slipped one hand to the throat &amp; began working on opening his own jacket that Remus was still wearing.

Sirius moved downward, feeling the familiar patterns of scars. The jacket fell open, sliding part way down Remus's arms. Sirius passed his hand over the many pathways carved into the flesh, moving down towards the belt. Remus lay back as Sirius pushed one hand inside, suddenly gripping hard. Remus bucked into his hand, but made no noise. Sirius knew it would take a lot more than that to make him squeal but with James in a position to walk in on them at any time, he knew he had to be fast. He quickly exposed Remus &amp; put his head down. Remus sighed softly, moving against him.

Sirius pulled away &amp; kissed Remus on the chest. His lips found the edge of one long scar &amp; he moved downward again, sucking along the folds of gnarled flesh. He soon returned to his duty &amp; promptly bit down hard. He earned a grunt before he finished Remus off within a few moments. He licked the bite for a moment, having only caused a small bruise, before pulling away.

Remus pulled Sirius against him, sighing contentedly. "It's much better with you." Sirius put a hand on his chest as Remus went on. "Though I know you can do even better than that."

Sirius lifted himself up to look at Remus who was smiling at him. "You &amp; I both know that. But I don't want us to get to carried away right now. We'll scare James."

"I know," Remus put a hand on Sirius's face. "I'm glad this is nearly over." They lay across the bed again. Remus cast an upside-down glance at the door. "He's been in there a long time."

"He wants to be alone," Sirius said. "During our 6th year, he told me more than once how he hated that I knew. I hate it when he withdraws like that but I no longer know what to do."

"You helped him a lot back then," Remus put one hand through Sirius's hair. He slowly felt his body relax now that he was next to his true mate &amp; not Orion.

"Even if you didn't exist &amp; I was free from the bond, I don't think I can do anything anymore," Sirius said. "It's beyond me. He needs professional help but I don't know how to make him get it."

"You can't," Remus said quickly. "He has to accept the fact he needs it first, then go looking for it. However," he sat up a little, lying on his side to face Sirius. "I think having Orion under control will be a great help. It's a start. Then he'll get the Kiss by summer &amp; that more than anything will give James some closer. Then perhaps, we can talk to him about counselling."

Sirius groaned. "Why do we have to wait for summer? Why not now?"

"The last time someone didn't get a trial, that person got stuck in Azkaban for twelve years, none of which he even deserved."

"But we know what Orion did!" Sirius complained. "I witnessed it myself. Twice."

"Everyone witnessed you blowing up the street to," Remus pointed out. "The Ministry is still smarting after their gaffe with you. They don't want to mess up twice in a row, with the same bloody family to." He finished with a short laugh.

"I guess," Sirius shrugged it off. He got up from the bed. "Stay there," he ordered as Remus had begun to get up as well.

After disentangling himself from the jacket completely, Remus turned himself the right way on the bed, instead of being across it &amp; lay back to wait. Sirius dug around in the pocket of his cloak hanging over one chair. He kept his back to Remus as he pulled something out &amp; held it up in front of him. Keeping it hidden, Sirius turned back while putting his hands behind his back &amp; went to the bed again.

Remus sent him a curious look. He knew Sirius was up to something but couldn't tell what. He had blocked their link all of a sudden, hiding something major. "What are you doing?"

Sirius knelt on the bed by Remus's side. "About that family, I'd like to leave it behind. We only mated like wolves do but," he opened his hands between them. Remus gasped as he saw what was there. "I'd like a human version to get rid of the name."

Remus sat bolt right up. "Sirius!"

"When I was released from Azkaban, I received a letter from the Ministry," Sirius went on. "Everything the Black family ever owned is mine &amp; mine alone. I'm also the only one who can co-sign any papers needed for the shares the Malfoys &amp; Potters control. But I had recently worked on some legal issues &amp; have another name ready to add. I no longer need my name. I can simply switch it to Lupin...if...if that's ok with you?" The link suddenly opened &amp; Remus understood he had hid to surprise him.

Remus took the small dark green velvety box from Sirius's hands, staring at the Tri-gold band. The two darker tones were on either side while the silvery-white one was in the center &amp; it sparkled from a row of four tiny diamonds buried within, each no bigger than a pinhead. "If you take on my name, you're publically admitting to being with a wolf."

"That's fine," Sirius smiled. "Us Blacks hunt your folk like crazy but I figured out a better way to trap you."

Remus mock-glared, then punched Sirius on the shoulder. He took the ring out &amp; put it on. "I'd be honored if you take my name." He pulled Sirius in &amp; kissed him.

After they broke apart, Sirius said, "I don't know how but someday, I'll get your name off the Lycan registrar. I hate that thing. It should only have wolves on it that actually are dangerous, like Fenrir. You shouldn't be on it!"

"In the last war most of my kind sided with Voldemort," Remus said. "We're not trustworthy to begin with. Can you blame the Ministry?"

"You're trustworthy."

"I'm a Marauder."

"True," Sirius snickered.

Remus held his hand in front of him, looking the ring over. "Sirius, can I...uh ..."

Sirius felt a hint of either sadness or disappointment on their link. "Is something wrong?"

Remus cast a glance at the door behind which James was. "Oh a lot's wrong." He sighed before trying again. "I'd like to know how ... how Peter's doing." Their link filled with dead space apart from Remus knowing that Sirius rolled his eyes hard without having to look at him. "I'd like to tell him about this." He indicated the ring. "Sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up." He could feel Sirius was annoyed at the mere mention of the name.

Sirius took a long time in answering as he stared up at the ceiling. "This whole thing is Orion's fault," he said after a while. "He should know Orion's in Azkaban."

Remus raised a brow in surprise that he hadn't thought of that himself. "Yes, he should. One of us ought to tell him."

"Don't expect him to come back or anything."

"I won't ask that of him or you," Remus said. "I know how you feel."

"I don't really feel that way anymore," Sirius said. "I mean, it really was all Orion's fault not Peter's, but hating Peter all those years was one thing that kept me going in that place."

"That's good. It served it's purpose," said Remus. "But there is no longer a purpose for it."

Sirius put a hand on Remus's bare chest, touching the scars. "I mean though, ultimately it will be his choice whether to come back or not. What James did to him, despite his good intentions, was still horrible. I don't know what those two would do if they met again."

"Jim would probably get on his knees &amp; grovel," said Remus. "Then start bribing Peter with his favorite food. Always worked in the past."

Sirius actually managed a laugh. "Good point, though I think it'll take more than that this time." He shifted to lie against Remus's side. At the same time, he could see the door of the washroom &amp; watched it like a hawk. Remus did the same thing. All they could do was wait.

/Yes Moony, you can talk to him./

/Thank you!/

James leaned against the door the moment it clicked shut. He was in total darkness except for the bar of light from under the door. James heard low tones from Sirius &amp; Remus but it was too low to hear the words. That suited him just fine. He wasn't interested in any more words. James slid down to the floor. After several moments of just sitting there, he raised his left hand &amp; with a snap of his fingers, a small ball of Lumos appeared. He cast it up to the ceiling, letting the dim radiance flicker softly, casting deep shadows about the room.

James stood up &amp; leaned over the same sink he had struggled over last morning but this time he just stared at the mirror. It was nearly dark, but the ball cast enough light to bounce off his glasses &amp; any shiny surface. James held both hands up in front of him &amp; stared at the black gloves. He leaned his face in close without touching. He could smell Orion's scent on them. His musk &amp; sandalwood cologne—James would forever hate anything with either musk or sandalwood in it. There was also another more personal scent. James closed his eyes. If he can smell it, then it was no wonder Remus could, now or back then. James gave himself a mental kick. Why did he never think of Remus? It's impossible to hide from a werewolf. Remus was as bad as Lily, stealing all his secrets like that.

James let his hands fall to his sides as he glared at his reflection. He hated himself for thinking like that of either of them. He pointed accusingly at his reflection. "Those two have helped you far more than you even realise so shut up!" Annoyingly, he reminded himself of how Orion would do that to him. He let his hand fall again &amp; looked away, ashamed of even his own reflection.

James put his glasses on the counter, then turned away completely &amp; looked into the bath. He started getting undressed; tossing every last bit of his Auror's uniform into the tub, starting with the Orion-scented gloves. He let the arm bands fall to the floor, outside the bath. Once he had stripped himself naked, James flicked his fingers downwards to the pile of clothes. Blue sparks of Incendio fell &amp; erupted into a large fire. James kept it contained. It didn't burn anything else. When there was nothing left but ash, he turned the water on &amp; rinsed the tub, sending the ash of what was once his uniform down the drain.

James then filled the tub with water &amp; the hotel's bath bottle which was coconut &amp; vanilla scented. He slipped in, letting the bubbles froth up past the edge. He had emptied the whole bottle into the water, hoping it would remove any last scent of Orion from his own body. He sunk under, letting the new scent permeate into his hair.

James lay back &amp; tried not to think of anything or feel anything. Every once in a while, he'd let his magic flow out of him to boil the water again to nearly unbearable heat. The steam had covered the mirror in a layer so thick that any reflection was non-existent. That's what James wanted. To be non-existent.

He put both hands around his throat, then slowly passed them downward. He sat up to move his hands between his legs &amp; down to his ankles. Then he reversed the procedure, laying back again as his hands met his throat once more. He hoped to remove any touch Orion had left on him. He felt dirty &amp; violated &amp; wondered how many baths he would need before he ever felt even half-clean again. Or was that never going to be possible anymore?

After nearly an hour of trying to rub Orion off, James lay back, staring at the small ball of Lumos still dancing on the ceiling. That ball was happy. Too happy. It wasn't allowed to be happy, Merlin dammit! It fizzed &amp; burnt out, leaving James in darkness again. He sighed heavily, making some of the water swish over the edge. He still felt as dirty &amp; vile as before. He decided to just stay here. Remus &amp; Sirius didn't deserve to see him. He shouldn't ruin their purity. If they knew half the stuff Orion had put him through, it would drive them both mad...well madder than what they're cursed with.

Orion had been even more horrible to James at the start of those two years than he was the first time. He had also finished his last bit of Polyjuice that made him look like Sirius. It had confused James. Why would Sirius hurt him? At the time, it had fractured any type of bond he had with Sirius. Something was wrong. Had James wronged Sirius somehow? Then the potion wore off &amp; that was the moment Orion had revealed himself completely to James. It had lasted longer than the few horrid moments on the stairs so many years ago; over an hour, time enough for Orion to shift back out of a faux-Sirius. Then, after leaving James suffering from that for over a day, he had started with that other vile potion.

James smiled to himself suddenly. That was it! That potion. No one knew about it &amp; Remus can't smell it. Finally, a secret he could keep for himself. They didn't know it &amp; he would never tell just how much control Orion had. It was done now. James walked alone.

In the dimness brought on by the bar of light, James could see the left side of the tub, the side closest to the door. He laid his arms across the ridge &amp; stared at his wrists, wishing he had his wand. But it would be silly to ask either Sirius or Remus to bring it to him, plus it would make Sirius suspicious. James raised one finger, pointing it at one arm. He had never tried with his warped sorcery before. He gritted his teeth as he felt his own raw powers cut across his own flesh. It burned a little. It was different from using a wand.

He made a zigzag slice all along his left arm, then sunk that arm into the water. He nearly screamed from the sting of all that soap. James waited a moment, then did it again, this time with his right arm. He was more prepared for the bite of suds when he sunk that arm under water. Maybe he could get rid of the defilement after all. Wincing he held both cut arms under water, letting them bleed out. The irony of it was that the cuts would be disinfected by the soap. James wanted to be disinfected. After several minutes of letting them soak, James raised his arms to the edge &amp; rested a moment. Then he made the same cuts again, but in reverse so it would criss-cross over what he had already done. He shuddered as he let his arms sink at the same time into soapy water again. In his mind, the more pain he was in, the faster anything vile &amp; dirty would bleed out.

There was a soft knock on the door. James snapped his eyes open. He had fallen asleep in the cooling water. He shivered violently &amp; his teeth chattered. Another knock. James quickly boiled the water &amp; soon warmed up.

Sirius pressed himself against the door, hands on either side of the frame. "Jim ..." he spoke softly, worried. "Jim talk to me. Are you alright?"

James waited for his teeth to stop moving. "I...I'm fine. Just ...just fell asleep in the bath."

"Do you want me to come in?"

"NO!" James yelped. "Um no. I'm ...I'm fine."

Sirius pressed his forehead against the door. /He's afraid of me now, Moony./

/I don't think so. He just needs time alone./

/He's been in there for nearly two hours!/

/Patience my love. Patience./

Sirius huffed. Blacks don't have patience, but he wasn't going to be a Black anymore. He was a Lupin now. "Prongs ...are you sure you don't need any help?"

"I'm fine," James insisted in a stronger voice. "I just fell asleep is all."

"Ok," Sirius sighed, giving up. "You know you're perfectly welcome to take the bed right? Remus &amp; I are fine on the couch."

"Mhm."

Sirius turned away. Catching Remus's eye, he shrugged helplessly. /Now what?/

Remus patted the space on the bed beside him. "We wait. It's all we can do." Sirius lay down next to him once more.

James lay still, listening until he was sure Sirius had gone away from the door. He released another ball of Lumos but this time, sent it to the wall. He saw two switches there &amp; by raising just a finger, both flipped on. One was a fan &amp; one was the main lights. After two tries, he managed to have only the light turned on. He put out the ball of light, then looked down at the water. He gasped, grateful he didn't allow Sirius in. If he saw this, he would have been very angry. The soap suds were all but gone. The water was bright red &amp; James realised that he didn't just fall asleep, he had passed out from blood loss. If Sirius hadn't knocked on the door, James wondered if he ever would have woken up.

He let out the water &amp; tried to stand. He felt wobbly &amp; weak. James stayed down, letting the showerhead spray hot water over him &amp; the tub, rinsing off pale blood. He felt like passing out again. James focused on Prongs, tapping into a reservoir of strength &amp; pulled himself up to his feet again. The antlers came out but no more.

James slowly stepped out of the tub, picked up the arm bands &amp; put them by his glasses. He shook his head, the horns clicking against the shower door &amp; the mirror. James leaned against the counter &amp; focused on pulling the large rack in. He suddenly had a migraine &amp; he was cold again. James found some muggle bandages behind the mirror &amp; quickly wrapped both arms with them, then slipped on the arm bands to hide the bandages. He never healed his cuts. It was better if they bled dry &amp; he wanted to feel their pain as they dried. There were two thick dark brown bathrobes hanging on the door. After picking up his glasses, James put one robe on, then suddenly realised what a fix he had put himself into.

He had burned all his uniform. His bag with common every day robes was outside this room on a chair. James banged his forehead against the door as an inner battle raged. How bloody stupid was he anyway?

There are two men out there next to that bag, both with an insatiable appetite for man flesh.

It's just Sirius &amp; Remus.

Sirius can get quite horny at the sight of you in a robe.

It's Sirius, not Orion.

Still capable of at least looking at you like that.

Besides, Remus is a wolf. Neither of them can touch me without killing him.

There are ways around that bond, you know.

James punched the wall. "This is ridiculous! They won't bother me!" He leaned against the door, trying to get that annoying voice out of his head.

"...James?" It was Sirius. Close. Just outside this door.

I told you so.

"Fuck off!"

"...Um...ok."

"Not you!" James exclaimed hastily. "I was yelling at ...er...Prongs. My horns wouldn't pull in. Sorry. Bad ...um...bad timing."

"Are you having Spirit problems again?" Sirius asked.

"Just my bloody horns being too big for doorways," James muttered. "I'll be out in a moment."

"Ok."

James stood silently against the door for several minutes, willing his heart to stop racing. Part of him reasoned that he should just ask either of them for the bag but another part reasoned that it would show weakness. He walked alone after all. He just needed to go out, get the bag, come back here. Simple. James still didn't move.

"Ok," James whispered to himself aloud. "You know it's just Sirius &amp; Remus out there. You know they would never hurt me. What is wrong with me?" He stepped away from the door &amp; stared at it, hands clasped in front of his face. Get out. Get bag. Get in.

Sirius looks so much like Orion.

No he doesn't. His hair is twice as long &amp; grey &amp; he has prison marks.

So does Orion.

Not the hair thing though.

Soon enough.

Whatever. Not now though. I'm going.

You're not moving.

The stupid voice was right. James was still standing, hands clasped in front of his nose, staring at the door. His side vision caught a horrific sight in the half-steamed up mirror. There he stood, staring ahead with his long black antlers fully out once more, yet he had not even realised he had let them out again.

James gasped, clapping both hands to his mouth. He stared at the antlered reflection for a long minute. "Oh Prongs!" He shook his head slightly, the antlers clicking against the walls. "Not now, You were doing good all these years. Not now!" He bowed his head in his hands until he felt the counter, trying hard not to cry too loud. He didn't want them to hear. He had just told Sirius everything was fine with his Spirit &amp; it was not a lie! He wept quietly, trying to control himself. Control his stag. Glancing up at the mirror, he could still see the horrible antlers fully spread out as if saying that he was no longer in control. He spoke in Lakotan. "Why must you go wild on me now? You're all I have left! Please don't leave me now Swift Horn!" The antlers stayed, taunting him. He continued in Lakotan. "Is that what you want? To betray me? You want to see me dead? Why didn't you just bleed out with Orion then you ungrateful beast?!"

The entire head of the stag took over &amp; with a quick movement, Prongs bit down hard on James's still-human arm. The stag's head disappeared just as quickly, taking the antlers along with it at last. James grabbed the bite mark. "Why you horned bastard!" He snarled in English as he rubbed the spot. "I'll take the anti-magus potion. How do you like that? You're no better than Orion!"

Maybe he doesn't like the cuts, more like Sirius.

"Oh is that all," James made a small scratch with a short burst of power over the top of his right hand. "Happy?" His reflection glared indignantly. "I can't battle that thing on top of everything else!" James shot back. "Don't test me. I will take that potion to get out of it. I've had it. I don't care any more! Now I have to fight you on top of it all? Think again!"

"I'm not fighting you," his inner voice manifested into his reflection. The mirror image cast a sorrowful look. "I'm trying to help you."

"Help?" James shot back. "You're just a reflection &amp; it's rare a reflection talks. It's just an echo &amp; you'll fade soon. Besides, I don't need help. I'll get the bag. You just watch &amp; you can tell that Spirit to stuff it where the sun don't shine!" He marched to the door, forming a plan as he went. "S-Sirius?" His voice was so weak, even he barely heard it. He cleared his throat. "Sirius?" He heard shuffling &amp; bed springs twanging.

"I'm here," Sirius leaned on the door again.

"Where's Remus?"

"On the bed."

"Ok," James sighed, still making it up as he went. "Ok, can you get on that bed with him &amp; let me know when you are?"

Confused, Sirius hesitated before saying, "Alright." He went back to the bed &amp; lay down. "Ok we're both here."

"On the bed?"

"Yes."

"Ok," James put a hand on the door. "Promise me you'll both stay there."

"Jim what is going on?"

He was having a battle of words with a mirror reflection, Prongs was being an ass &amp; James was showing him who's boss. "Just promise me."

"We promise," two voices said.

After a slight hesitation, James yanked the door open &amp; stepped through.

THUD!

Unbelievable. James hated that stag like nothing else at the moment. He tried again. This time he got through. He smiled quickly at the pair on the bed. "Forgot about those stupid things." He turned away quickly &amp; headed for his bag on the floor. He picked that up, then noticed his cloak, the last part of the uniform. He took that &amp; without looking at either of them, he entered the washroom once more &amp; closed the door. "I did it," James tossed the bag triumphantly on the counter. His reflection just glared.

James got dressed, hung the robe up &amp; quickly pulled the water away from the floor. Next, he took out the Death Cloak &amp; folded it as small as possible, then put it aside. He cast the black Auror's cloak into the tub &amp; burned the last scent of Orion away. He sent one more dark look at his reflection, raised his right hand &amp; with a snap, the mirror cracked. Satisfied, James huffed, then headed for the door, grabbing the ancient cloak in one hand as the multi-faceted reflection looked on in silence. He felt much safer fully dressed &amp; walked out at last. Both Sirius &amp; Remus quickly got off the bed &amp; went for the couch.

"Jim," Sirius watched him for a moment. "Are you sure you're not having Spirit problems?"

"Yeah, I just forgot about the horns not fitting through doors any more," James shrugged, tossing the Invisibility Cloak onto the foot of the bed. "It's over a thirty point spread now. I need to get rid of them permanently." He thought of the anti-magus potion.

Sirius sighed heavily &amp; looked at Remus. The wolf pointed at the bed. "Lie down &amp; rest for a couple hours. You look like you need it."

James glanced at the bed, then back at Remus. He shrugged. "I can't sleep."

"Here," Remus turned &amp; picked something up from the coffee table, then made his way towards James. "I've made some tea. It'll help."

"I put a Sleeping Draught in it," Sirius said. "Also a Dreamless Potion."

Sweet Merlin's wand, he's giving us potions!

He is NOT Orion!

James took the tea cup from Remus's hand. He stared inside it. This was not Orion's gift. They couldn't possibly know. His hands shook. Remus placed his hands around James's hands, helping him to steady the teacup. James shuddered a little at the touch but didn't pull away. He felt something odd with Remus's hands. His finger began caressing a small cold thing on one of the werewolf's fingers. "Good heaven's what's this?" Distracted for a moment, James actually managed a smile while Remus yanked himself away, blushing furiously. James clutched the cup in one hand as Remus sheepishly lifted his left hand.

"Sirius is getting rid of the Black name," Remus explained as James held his ring-hand with his own free hand to inspect the band more closely.

"That looks very expensive," James looked it over. "Very nice to!" Remus just turned redder &amp; actually hissed half-heartedly. "Ya know Moony. It's rare but sometimes you can be quite the girl at times." He grinned widely as Remus gaped at him in horror.

"I most certainly am not!" Remus pulled his hand away.

"I said sometimes &amp; rare."

"Never!" Remus huffed indignantly then jerked his thumb over his shoulder towards Sirius. "He's the girl!" Sirius glared at him.

James scoffed. "I can personally testify to the contrary."

"Oh shut up!" Remus clicked at him. "Drink your tea. It isn't hot!"

"Jim, you realize you just admitted to being the girl then, right?" Sirius asked, slightly wagging his brow.

James glared at Sirius as Remus laughed. James rubbed his forehead. His headache throbbed worse than before. "Well either way, you're one lucky mutt. Congratulations."

"Thanks," Remus half-clicked &amp; half-smiled as James downed the warm drink in one shot. Remus took hold of the cup again as James headed for the bed &amp; flipped himself headfirst over the end to crash onto the bed. He immediately passed out.

Remus covered him with the old cloak &amp; put the glasses onto the nightstand, then went to sit by Sirius. "Day one."

* * *

_(**AN:** I know that Harry had a bit of a conversation with his reflection once but we never get more about that strange phenomenon. I'm guessing it's similar to photography but more like an accidental transference of powers that fade with the reflection after a few minutes.)_


	52. Chapter 52

**(52) Black Curse**

Harry tried to focus but the incessant tapping of a beak on the window was driving everyone nuts. He was in McGonagall's class doing a two-foot written essay when the tapping had started. He glanced up to see McGonagall letting a large strange-looking owl in, bearing a large package.

The owl looked like it was made up of two owls getting squashed together side by side. It's left side was white with pinkish outlines around each feather &amp; a lighter foot while its right side was a dark chocolate brown with deep blood red outlines &amp; a darker foot. Just like a Snowy, the feet were tufted. Harry realized he was looking at a Firefall owl, a rare breed just slightly larger than actual Snowys. Their kind however liked to live in chimneys. He saw the eyes for a brief moment as it perched on McGonagall's arm before she turned away to her desk. One eye was a normal yellow &amp; dark brown swirl while the other eye was pure pink. It finally dawned on Harry that the owl was a partial albino &amp; the line between the condition &amp; the otherwise normal plumage was straight cut from head to pinion.

After the owl had opened its talons to let the package go, McGonagall untied the letter from the owl's lighter foot, then let it fly to a nearby perch to rest. She put the letter &amp; package aside &amp; sat down. The class wrote silently for five more minutes &amp; then laid their quills aside. Normally, a student would be called to collect the test papers but instead McGonagall said, "Mr. Potter, come here please."

Harry got up &amp; came over, slightly confused. She handed both items over. "For me?" Harry took them.

"Could you please take Amisi along &amp; give her some water?" McGonagall pointed to the weird-looking bird.

"Amisi?" Harry held up his arm &amp; the owl flew over.

"It's Egyptian for flower," McGonagall said. "She's Remus's owl."

"Remus?" Harry stared at her a moment before turning &amp; hurrying out of the room. He stepped into a washroom &amp; filled a sink with water. While Amisi drank, Harry ripped open the package first. It was the Invisibility Cloak. Then he opened the letter.

~~Dear Harry, we got him!

"Ohh!" Harry sunk to his knees, feeling weak. "Oh thank Merlin!" Orion was finally finished! He read the rest of the note.

~~Your Dad seems to be doing fine. Been rather quiet. Sirius &amp; I think he might be a little shocked. We're not letting him out of our sight. But we are finally seeing the light at the end of this very long dark tunnel. We'll come round to see you later this month. Not sure when as your father needs some time but soon. Sirius &amp; I have some more great news.

~~Remus

~~P.S.: Make sure that damn owl does not fly into any chimneys! I thought the cocks were bad when it came to clogging up the floo. Hens in heat are worse! Keep an eye on her or Hogwarts will have problems.

"Amisi!" Harry tried to stand up. He cracked his head on the underside of the sink. Harry swore in French, rubbing his head. "Amisi come here!" After a moment, she flew down &amp; perched on his shoulder, beak wet &amp; dripping. Still rubbing his head, he sat back &amp; looked at her. "I need you close right now." Amisi hopped up his arm to his shoulder &amp; cuddled into his neck. "Yeah I'm not falling for that. My owl is a girl to. You owl-women are nothing more than sneaky little suck-ups." Harry took extra care to get up. Amisi hooted softly. Harry noticed their reflection in the mirrors. Once the brain understood what it was seeing, Amisi was actually a pretty bird in her own way. Harry stroked her head. "They got him." Amisi hooted again. "Someone really hurt my dad," he told her. She looked up at him with her two-colored eyes. "But he's paying for it now."

Amisi butted her head into his neck as Harry carried her out. Harry wandered the halls aimlessly with her cuddled tightly to the side of his head &amp; gripping his shoulder firmly. Other students he passed by often cast him glances &amp; occasionally one would greet him awkwardly. It had been that way ever since he had come back two months after James had announced to the world what truly happened. Harry hated it. He was not the one raped yet they were still treating him as a fragile victim. He wanted them to stop. James didn't need to hear about it any more either. But on the other hand, he knew they were trying to come to terms with it just as much as he was. He had even had a few Slytherins treat him differently. Unfortunately, Draco &amp; Snape weren't among them. Snape was just as bad as ever &amp; Draco had only just begun to pay for what he had said a while ago as far as Harry was concerned. He was still infuriated by it.

Harry headed up to the Tower &amp; sat on his bed with the album open after pulling out the picture of Sirius from inside his trunk. Amisi was still leaning against his head. She seemed to sense something was wrong. Sirius watched him silently. "We got him," Harry stated simply.

Sirius closed his eyes &amp; knelt down. "Did he get the Kiss yet?"

"I don't know," Harry said. "If not yet, then quite soon." He put the picture back into the album at last &amp; closed it, letting Sirius deal with them. He heard another owl hoot &amp; looked up into the eyes of Hedwig. Her look told him everything. Betrayal! She actually opened her beak &amp; hissed before spreading her wings to fly away. "Hedwig?" She paused, glaring at him. Amisi nipped his ear. Harry had forgotten about Amisi for a moment &amp; he suddenly understood why Hedwig was mad. "Come here!" Hedwig hissed again but had no choice. Her master had given her a direct order. She flew over, landing on his other arm. She stretched her neck over to Amisi. "Don't you dare Hedwig!" She pulled back, ruffling her feathers. "This is Amisi. She's Remus's owl. I'm not replacing you!" Hedwig didn't look so sure. Harry rolled his eyes. "Owl-women. You be nice. Both of you."

He set both of them on the window ledge. Amisi was a head &amp; a half taller than Hedwig. They shuffled sideways as far away from each other as possible. When they could go no further, they both leaned away from each other &amp; rolled their eyes to the ceiling. "Hedwig, make sure Amisi doesn't go into the chimneys." Hedwig clicked her beak at him. "Hedwig don't argue!" He went to his trunk &amp; put the album inside.

There was a flutter of wings. "Amisi!" Harry jumped to his feet &amp; grabbed the owl out of the air. She was just about to fly into the fire grate in the center of the dorm. Harry tucked her firmly under one arm &amp; raised the other. "Come on Hedwig!" She flew over.

Now with two owls, Harry headed back down the stairs &amp; towards the Great Hall for lunch. He told Hermione &amp; Ron the news as they sat down. Hermione burst into tears of relief while Ron looked about ready to faint from it.

"I suppose it'll be all over the next Prophet," Hermione finally managed to say. "Your Dad must be so relieved that he's finally behind bars."

"If anyone deserves Dementors, Orion does," Ron said.

"I wonder what other news they have," Hermione added.

"I don't know," Harry glanced over the note once more. "Just the Wolfstar pair having more great news. Maybe Peter's back."

"Would Sirius consider that to be great news?" Ron asked.

"Well it really wasn't Peter though," Harry shrugged. "I hope Sirius would be over that by now. Peter grew up with Dad &amp; I really didn't get to know him like the others yet." He pulled some parchment out of his bag &amp; began writing.

~~That's excellent news. It's about time. Can't wait to hear what else you have. I kept Amisi out of the fires but she is a bit of a pain so I think it's time to get rid of her.

~~Harry

After rolling it up, Harry put the note on Amisi &amp; let her fly away. Hedwig turned her back on him, being perfectly capable of delivering the same note in a goodly time. Not knowing what else to do, Harry stared at her.

Owl-women.

Human-men!

Ron was the first to get up &amp; leave. Harry sighed heavily. He wasn't sure what was wrong but he had been at odds with Ron since Halloween. First the issue of his name coming out, then the Veela. Harry didn't know what to do with him. Hermione said that both he &amp; Ron were being ridiculous.

To make matters worse, Draco Malfoy had made pins for everyone to wear that insulted Harry whenever he passed. Harry had expected some sort of friendly gesture from Malfoy sooner or later &amp; would have ignored them but the day they first came out, he &amp; Ron did earn a detention with Snape for trying to protect Hermione's blood status from Malfoy's snide remarks &amp; yelling at Snape.

Harry ended up alone at the table in potions class &amp; soon, he realised Snape would poison him. Harry blinked &amp; he suddenly had a 'Malfoy' moment, "Oh yeah? Wait until my father hears about this!"

"OOOOOOOOOOO!" The Slytherins cooed.

"By the time he does, you'll be done with this class," Snape replied. "Pity. Even when he's alive, he can't get here soon enough to rescue you. Perhaps he needs some more practice with his wand. Maybe he can find a spell to know just what you're thinking &amp; get here by a mere thought."

Harry glared at him &amp; it was fortunate he didn't get what Snape was truly talking about in reference to wands. Harry didn't know what Snape had said to his father that made James so angry or else he would have had a sorcery seizure himself right then &amp; there. Fortunately, sort of, Harry was saved the unpleasantness of having a poison of some sort forced on him by Colin Creevey summoning him away.

Harry's victory was short-lived however. Despite not saying much in the interview with Rita Skeeter, he ended up with a three page article on how all the trauma in his life starting with the supposed deaths of his parents &amp; ending with the amazing shock of what truly happened to his father, had caused him to cry every night. In rebellion or perhaps a moment of daring, he had entered his name. He also apparently was finding solace in the pretty muggle-born girl Hermione Granger.

If Hermione was near to having a sorcery seizure, it was nothing like the urge rising in Harry to kill something. But when he saw the badges Malfoy had spread around the school suddenly show more rude notes saying things like 'Up yours' &amp; 'You're screwed' &amp; worse, Harry all but went Dark on Malfoy in his fury.

Draco was in the process of talking about his own father when Harry ran for him. "Your father is vile &amp; you're just pathetic. I hope someone gets to put your father in Azkaban then maybe he can hang out with Orion. How would you like that?"

Draco glared at him. "You'd be—"

"Or how about a better idea?" Harry plunged on. "Orion likes them young. You're not much younger than my Dad was when Orion first started on him. He'd love you! Slytherin pure." Draco took a step forward as Harry went on. "Young."

"Shut up!"

"Ripe!"

"Shut up right now Potter!" Draco tried to punch him but Harry ducked.

Harry pulled out his wand. "I'll teach you a thing about what it's like with Orion!" He was about to cast a spell but Draco's two friends stood in front of him. "Really? You want to protect the likes of him? Fine! Just you wait Malfoy! It'll make the bouncing white ferret seem like nothing!" He turned &amp; marched away. Draco swore at him but did no more.

Harry flung himself on his bed, trying to calm down. He wondered if his father had gotten wind of that article. He hoped not. Harry pulled out the Cloak &amp; stared at it. He hated Malfoy. Hated Rita. What part of his father didn't even want the rape in public in the first place wasn't in English? There was nothing Harry could do about Rita, but Malfoy had gone too far. Harry had been planning something for him ever since the incident in the Greenhouse, but he had put it off, telling himself he wouldn't do anything unless Malfoy had made another comment.

Well, Malfoy had done more than just make another comment &amp; Harry wanted to teach him a lesson. But could he do it? It was time to put that little spell of secrecy to the test. Harry put the cloak on &amp; took the old Map. He located Draco one the third floor, along with a few of his friends. Harry stalked after him.

Malfoy was leaning against the wall, laughing as his badge had turned from Support Cedric to Potter Stinks to—Harry couldn't believe it. 'Snuggle with a struggle.'

"Of course," Draco was saying. "I can't wear this one out in front of all. It's the only one that says this. I'm just letting my closest friends see it. I mean, I'd never do something like that. It's just for a laugh right?" His friends laughed right then &amp; there.

Harry stunned them with one spell, Stupefy Duo, that he had read about in his father's diary. Crabbe &amp; Goyle fell over. The three girls screamed. Harry took two more out while the other ran off with Draco, both scared out of their wits. Harry charged after. He knocked the last girl out, then chased Draco into a long forgotten dim hall.

Draco skidded to a stop &amp; glanced around. He had taken a wrong turn &amp; was now lost &amp; alone. Well, alone apart from some invisible demon coming after him. A pedestal was knocked over &amp; there were footsteps coming towards him. Draco stumbled back, wand out. His wand was taken from him &amp; then he understood ...too late.

"Hello Malfoy," Harry tossed his cloak &amp; Draco's wand behind, then quickly shot another spell at Draco.

Draco clutched his throat for a moment. "What are you doing?"

Harry grabbed the badge off Draco &amp; tossed in the air. "Bombardia!" It exploded into millions of pieces. Harry levitated them into the nearest torch, then rounded on Draco. He hesitated a moment. He was just going to scare Draco. It wasn't the same thing. Right? Harry stepped back. He knew he couldn't do this. He shouldn't have come here.

Draco scoffed. "What are you doing Potter? Mad I'm having a little fun?"

Harry's eyes snapped up into Draco's face. "Fun?"

Draco started to march past Harry. "You're not scaring me. I'll just make another badge."

Harry grabbed his arm &amp; threw him back. Draco fell over on his back to the floor. He was about to get up, but Harry tied him down with a Carpe Retractum to each of his wrists. Harry suddenly flung himself onto Draco, grabbing his throat with both hands. He forced himself to repeat words he had read so many times. "You need to learn to behave, Malfoy!"

Draco choked. "What—wh—"

Harry huffed, psyching himself up. He was not Orion, so this was harder to do than he thought. He wasn't planning to rape Draco, only to scare him into submission. He was the Alpha of a wolf pack. He was just doing what Remus would do was all. "You need to shut up about my father!" Harry snarled. "If you don't stop Malfoy, you'll regret it!"

"Oh yeah!" Draco gasped. "What do you think you'll do?"

"For starters, I just put a charm over you," Harry punched Draco across the face. "I can do whatever I want with you &amp; you can't do a thing about it. Can't tell anyone!" He lingered a moment, then decided to just do it. He put his hand down between them &amp; grabbed Draco hard. Draco screamed. "Any more from you, &amp; I'll give you a taste of Orion. He's a distant Uncle of mine. I have the curse of the Black temper &amp; you just unleashed it! You behave or you'll wish you had." He squeezed harder, all the while feeling sick that he was sounding like Orion. He wasn't actually raping Draco, Harry kept telling himself. This is just a scare. Draco burst into tears. Harry had never seen him cry before. "Good. Think about how many tears my father shed when Orion was doing so much more to him than I am doing to you! But any more from you &amp; I'll do it Malfoy! Understand?" Harry put his face down to Draco's ear. "I'll ...I'll fuck your mind out whether you like it or not. See how you like it. Crystal?" Draco didn't answer. Harry twisted his hand still gripping him.

Draco screamed again, then blubbered. "Cr...Crystal!"

"Good," Harry let go &amp; got off. He released the fiery ropes. Draco curled up into a foetal position &amp; cried harder. Harry wiped his own eyes as a few tears dared to leak out. He would be damned before he cried in front of Draco. "I'm glad you're hurting right now. Think of how much more I can make you suffer. I'll do it Draco. I will do it." Harry almost believed himself for a moment. "Don't test me!"

Draco gasped &amp; slowly opened up. In a fit of blind rage, Harry seized the opportunity &amp; swung his foot hard. Draco screamed again as he curled up once more, clutching himself. "S-s-top! I-I I did—didn't actually mean any-anything!" He sobbed. "You're crazy!"

"I'm a Black!"

"Don't touch me!" Draco shot at Harry through tears.

Harry promptly reached down &amp; grabbed Draco again. "I said I can do whatever I want with you. So either behave, or suffer. It's your choice. You bring this upon yourself." Harry didn't know which Black he hated more at the moment. Orion ...or himself.

His face tear-stained, Draco glared up at him. "Get away from me," he whispered. "You filthy mudblood!"

"Half-blood!"

"I don't care if you're bloody pure!" Draco shot back. "I'll get you for this." He got up.

"How Draco?" Harry purred, ramming their bodies together against the wall. He pushed hard against Draco, making sure the blond felt every curve. "How? I have the control this time. Not you. Never forget it." Harry stepped away as Draco slid back down to the floor. "Got that?" He waited a moment, then leaned close to Draco's face. Then back-handed Draco so hard he hurt his own hand. "LEAVE MY FATHER ALONE!" At that, Harry turned, picked up his cloak &amp; wand &amp; disappeared. Orion would be so proud of him. Harry went to bed early, feeling sick but hoping his tactics had worked.

* * *

_AN: Hmm I think Sylar fans might notice a few lines of his here LOL_


	53. Chapter 53

**(53) Marauders Hogsmeade**

The next time Harry saw Draco, the blond boy stared at him a moment, then turned &amp; ran away. Hermione was confused at the antics but Harry inwardly smiled. It looked like Draco had learned his lesson. He had managed some control over Draco at last. Maybe being the Alpha had something to do with it, but Harry felt satisfied he wouldn't see any more rude badges. He also didn't want another showdown with Draco. He was not Orion!

The next Hogsmeade weekend was upon him &amp; the only way Hermione managed to get Harry out was by hiding him under the cloak. Harry was tired of the new-found interest in his father's story, compounded by comments on why he had forced himself into the tournament. Harry really wanted to kill something. Where's Voldemort when he needed him? Or a white ferret perhaps?

Draco Malfoy came around the corner, caught sight of Hermione &amp; quickly glanced around. He hurriedly shoved passed her, just barely missing Harry by an inch or so &amp; scurried away.

"There is something weird about Malfoy," Hermione mused, opening the door to The Three Broomsticks.

They sat down by a table with Harry still hiding. Hermione was about to complain to him again when someone called out to her. "Hermione, there you are." Remus came to her table, grabbed a chair &amp; set it down with the back facing the table. He sat on it, folding his arms over the top of the chair. "Where are the boys?" He asked, sniffing slightly. "I know Harry's been nearby."

"I'm right here Moony," Harry muttered.

Remus's eyes went from green to gold in a blink. "Where? Come on Harry."

"Mmm bite me."

Remus glared. "I would if I could see you. You under Jim's cloak?"

"Duh."

"Harry, there's something I want to tell you," Remus scratched his chin with his left hand, more precisely, the left ring finger. "I don't feel like chatting to empty space for important news."

"I'm not coming out," Harry grumbled. "I hope Dad didn't see Rita's article."

"Ohh is that it?" Remus stopped fake-scratching &amp; lowered his hand as his green eyes reappeared. Hermione's eyes followed his hand. "Yeah we saw it. Don't worry, we know Rita. Or of her anyway. Though Sirius did sleep with her back in—"

"Oh my God, I don't care!" Harry cut in. Hermione choked on her butterbeer.

With one brow raised, Remus looked at a spot just left of Harry. "You know how Sirius was back in the day. I'm honestly surprised he was never put in Azkaban for some of the crap he did involv—"

"Remus if you finish that sentence, I'm going to bloody murder you."

"Oh come on Harry!" Remus laughed. "You'll get into it sooner or later. You have Black blood. All Blacks are horny."

"I think I'd rather be Asexual."

"Ron's brother, Charlie, is Asexual," Hermione put in.

Remus disagreed. "But a Black being Ace is simply impossible."

"No it isn't," Harry sassed back. He asked almost irritably, "What's the news?"

"Oh honestly Harry," Hermione sighed exasperatedly. "It's quite obvious what the news is." She pointed at Remus's left hand. Remus held it up to her as she went on. "That is one pretty ring!"

There was a moment of silence. "Lovely ring." Harry droned.

Remus scowled. "Well thanks Harry. Real nice."

"Sorry," Harry muttered. "But didn't you two already marry when you were teenagers? I don't understand the big deal."

Remus huffed. "I'm glad he's under that cloak or I'd eat him &amp; not in a pleasant way...for him anyway." Hermione was stuck between laughing &amp; glaring. "A wolf simply mates &amp; that's it," Remus began. "But Sirius wants a more official marriage. He's dropped the name Black &amp; as of noon today, he is now a Lupin."

"I see," was all Harry said.

"That is wonderful news," Hermione put in, kicking at Harry &amp; sort of getting his leg.

"Thanks," Remus actually simpered a little. "SOME people," He went on, turning his nose up a little. "Actually deem it an honor to adopt their mate's name." He got up &amp; leaned over Harry. Like a great grumpy stallion, he blew out air partly over Harry's head &amp; it caused a ripple in the space where Harry sat.

"You know Moony," Harry said. "You make a pretty pathetic werewolf. A real one would growl ferrrrrrrrrrrrrociously." Harry rolled the R. "You don't scare me one bit."

"I should," Remus grumbled, slightly curling his lip. "You make a pretty pathetic Alpha."

If only Remus had known what Harry had recently done to Draco to subdue him, then perhaps he'd have kept silent on the subject. Frustrated, Harry whipped his cloak off at last. "Want to bet? Let's take it outside. Just you, me &amp; a chocolate bar &amp; I'll show you a new &amp; improved way of eating chocolate bars. It starts with you bending over!"

"Oh that is low Harold!" Remus glared, mouth ajar. Hermione was doing her best to not burst out laughing.

Harry poked Remus on the chest, then the throat. He began rapidly poking him at any spot he could reach. "Bite me. Come on. Silly wolf."

"Harry," Hermione hissed under breath. "Don't tease the werew—"

"ARGH!" Harry suddenly shouted aloud.

"Did he bite you?" Hermione gasped.

"No!" Harry wiped his face. "He just bloody slobberkissed all over my face! Damn you're fast!"

"All us wolves are," Remus said.

Harry glared at him as best possible since he no longer had glasses. "Remus, what if someone saw that?"

"Well first of all, you're at a table in the corner with a partial dividing wall," Remus began. "Secondly, it's rather dim here. Thirdly, my back is the only thing anyone can see &amp; lastly, eh what's a little risk?"

"Give my glasses back," Harry snapped. "I haven't got another pair right now."

"Make me," Remus smiled. Harry swung his foot hard. Remus doubled up with a grunt of pain.

Harry leaned over &amp; picked his glasses off the floor. He put them back on. "Who's your Alpha?"

"I hate you."

"Good."

Hermione buried her face in one hand. Remus sat back into his backwards chair &amp; crossed his arms over top again, keeping his ringed finger in plain sight. "Anyway, I was sent here to find you, Harry."

Harry laughed at him. "Remind me to tell any of my future children to not get a werewolf for a pet."

Remus actually growled a bit. "I'm not a pet!"

"That isn't what Dad says."

"I don't care what Jim says," complained Remus as Hermione hid her face behind a menu, laughing.

"Yet you came sniffing me out like a good little doggy."

Burn! Hermione choked from laughing to hard. Remus growled again. Do not eat Harry Potter. Do not eat Harry Potter. "Whatever."

Harry patted Remus on the head. "Good boy."

Remus shook him off. "Your Dad is in Dufftown &amp; wants to see you." Do not eat Harry Potter!

"He is?" Harry got up. "Why didn't he come here with you?"

"For the same reason it was hard to get you out from under that cloak," Remus said. "Dufftown is more muggle than magic so there are less people who know about him there."

"Where's Sirius?"

"With Jim."

"How can I get there though?" Harry suddenly stopped moving. "I don't have permission."

"Oh it's fine if a guardian is involved," Remus said. "Both Sirius &amp; Jim qualify for that. Just be back by evening before Hogsmeade closes." He handed over a piece of paper with an address to where Sirius &amp; James were.

"Brilliant," Harry headed for the door. "See you later, Hermione."

Harry ducked under the cloak again &amp; ran along the high road to the end farthest from the drive turning into Hogwarts' grounds. He was soon in the muggle world &amp; hurried along. Dufftown was only a twenty minute walk but at Harry's pace, he cut the time in half.

Sirius opened the door of the room they were at in the muggle hotel. "Harry, come in! I knew Remus could sniff you out quickly."

Harry could only smile for a moment. "By the way, I heard. How does it feel to be the next Mr. Lupin?"

"Much better," Sirius laughed.

James got up from the couch. "Harry, how are you?"

"Fine I guess," Harry glanced at Sirius. "Remus told me you guys saw Rita's article."

James glanced at the floor, shaking his head. "That despicable woman! How could she even think you put your name in the Goblet?"

"Everyone's thinking that," Harry complained. "Even Ron!"

"Ron?" James stared at Harry for a moment. "Blimey &amp; I thought he was alright."

"I don't understand him at all anymore," said Harry.

"Well sooner or later, the truth will come out," James said.

"We've been trying to find some way of releasing you from the binds of the tournament," Sirius put in. "But so far nothing. It looks like you'll have to go through at least the First Task."

"I was told a bit about how the Tasks can go," said Harry. "Any idea exactly what it is?"

"No," Sirius said. "Only those running the show know. It's supposed to be a surprise."

"We will come over to watch it if we can't do anything else," said James. "In the meantime—I can't believe I'm saying this but—stick to Mad Eye. He'll see you through."

"Humpf!" Sirius grunted, pulling on his fur-lined jacket.

"Where are you going?" Harry asked.

"Well now that you're here," Sirius explained. "I'm meeting up with Remus in Hogsmeade. Give you two some time."

"Second honeymoon for those two," James remarked to Harry. Both turned away rolling their eyes.

"Oh I think we've lost count of how many honeymoons we've had by now," Sirius snickered as he ducked out the door.

"Good point," James muttered.

Through the window, Harry saw Sirius hurry down the street. He turned back to his father &amp; suddenly realised this was the first time he was alone with him. He had no idea what to say. He watched as James stood by the small table, pouring out tea. He noticed that James was up on tip toe &amp; wondered if Prongs was snuffling about. What was it like having a Spirit inside you? Harry slowly came over as James picked up two cups &amp; turned to him, holding one out. Harry took it, still wondering what to say or do.

Fortunately, James rescued him. "I bet school is driving you nuts right now," he started. They both had a sip of tea, then James went on. "Harry, it will pass."

"They don't like the idea of me being another champion," Harry said. "Everyone thinks I put my name in but I didn't."

"You may find you're better at it than you think," said James. "You have champion blood in you. Your Great Grandfather was in the last tournament a few centuries ago. He won."

"He did?" Harry exclaimed. "Wait, that's just what I need. Don't tell anyone at school about that." 

"I heard about other students picking on you for becoming a champion," said James. "I'm not surprised Malfoy made those badges. Lucy was just as bad when we went to school."

"You were in school with Lucius Malfoy?" Harry asked, surprised.

"Only for three years," James shrugged. "He's older than I am. But he was a Prefect in my first year. Made our lives a living hell. Our first year wasn't so bad since his wife...or rather at the time, fiancée, was with him as a distraction. But Narcissa's a year older than Lucy &amp; once she left...well, I think the most detentions any of us got was during our second &amp; third years at Hogwarts."

"Bet you were glad to be rid of him then."

James laughed. "There will always be someone to annoy you. Some people more than others."

"I doubt anyone can annoy me as much as Malfoy," Harry said. "Draco I mean. Unless maybe Snape. He's a horrid teacher."

James sighed &amp; put his cup on the table. "Sorry about that. It's my fault."

"How so?"

"You're my son," James said simply. "Snape &amp; I hated each other since we first met on the train. Some people you just can't get along with. It happens."

"Dad," Harry also put his cup aside. "What was that about? On the stairs a few weeks ago when you grabbed me."

"Snape once told me back in school that I would never amount to anything," James said. "But I proved him wrong. I became one of the best Aurors of our day at the same time as having a family. Not many Aurors settle down in times of war."

Harry knew he wasn't exactly being lied to, but something was off. "You said 'Look at his eyes.' What did that mean?"

James stared at him, thinking hard. "You're mother is impure. Snape once called her a mudblood."

"HE WHAT?" Harry was livid.

"Don't worry," James raised a hand to silence Harry. "I made him pay quite dearly for that."

"He cal—how—I can't bel—" Harry spluttered.

James smiled softly. "Yet something like her rose in ranks by marrying into a powerful family like ours &amp; you have her eyes. I was just proving him wrong. Again." It was partly true, though there was still something left out. But Harry didn't catch on. Yet.

"Draco Malfoy called me a mudblood for the first time the other day."

"Really? What did you do?"

"Kicked him between the legs."

James nearly died from laughing. "You've got the Black temper just like the rest of us."

"It isn't even true!" Harry muttered, picking up his tea again. "I'm a half blood."

"It doesn't always matter," James shrugged.

"He's usually picking on Hermione about that," Harry went on.

"I'm not surprised, coming from Lucy's kid," James shrugged. They quickly finished their tea in silence. James put his cup on the table. "So, how are you weathering the newspapers?"

"What do you mean?" Harry asked. James merely looked at him. Harry looked at the floor. "About you? I...well, nearly everyone is talking about it."

"I know."

"It wasn't too bad at first," Harry went on. "I guess it was a bit shocking to all but...Rita's article really blew everything out of proportion."

"Rita is always like that," said James. "Most people get over her articles very quickly. There are people who actually believe her though, but most don't."

"I hope she gets fired!"

"No, her stories sell,' James said. "That won't happen."

"She shouldn't have written about you!"

"Probably true," James said. "But she did."

"How are you handling it then?" Harry asked.

"Just get through it one day at a time," James answered. "By late spring or so, they'll have something worth talking about."

"What's that?"

"Orion."

"They're waiting for spring to send him to the Dementors?"

"No, that'll be at the start of summer."

"SUMMER?!" Harry shrieked. "But why? Why not now?"

"Sirius, really," James said. "The Ministry really screwed him over &amp; they're scared of doing something like that ever again. Did you know Sirius never even got a trial back then?" 

"Yeah."

"With Orion," James went on. "He is going to go through a series of mini trials. Right now, Sirius is charging him with all the abuse he went through when he was growing up. Orion used to punish his boys with Crucio."

"I know."

"I think Remus has something to put on him to," James added. "Anyway, that will be happening in the next few weeks. Then it's Christmas &amp; New Years. Then in mid-February, it'll be my turn since I have the most charges against him, so it will take a while. That story above all others will make headlines again so be prepared."

"I can't wait for the summer headline," Harry said.

James smiled. "Neither can I." He moved to the couch &amp; sat down. After a slight hesitation, Harry joined him.

James was soon telling Harry all about being a Marauder. How they had figured Remus out. What it was like growing up &amp; raising him. They eventually moved to family issues &amp; Harry learned more about his Grandparents than he ever thought possible. James seemed to know exactly what Harry had been wanting to ask for years. The subject soon turned to Lily (though James left out any association with Snape) &amp; how James had tried to befriend her since day one.

About two hours later, the door opened, letting in the Wolfstar team. They stopped &amp; stared in bemusement as both James &amp; Harry suddenly broke off laughing at something from the interruption.

"So how many times did you two have sex today?" James got straight (or ...not so straight) to the point.

Remus clicked at him. "Not yet."

"Oh let's see," Sirius began. "Shut up! That grates my nerves!" He jabbed Remus in the ribs (Remus now clicked at him as Harry &amp; James tried to keep from laughing.) before answering, "We re-christened the Three Broomsticks. REMUS I'LL KILL YOU!" Remus finally stopped, while the other two continued laughing. Sirius ignored them as he finished. "Honeydukes ...twice. Dervish &amp; Bangs. Then we moved to Hogwarts &amp; started with the Viaduct."

"We did nothing of the sort!" Remus scoffed, aghast. "Why am I married to you anyway?"

"You love me."

"Oh right," Remus shook his head. "We did talk about doing such things though."

"With you, there isn't much talk going on," Sirius teased with a wink. Remus actually flushed in the face a little.

Harry smacked James on the arm. "Dad, why did you ask them?"

"What? It's the only thing they know."

"Is not!" Sirius &amp; Remus defended.

"Remus knows about Dark Arts," Harry pointed out.

Remus smiled seductively. "Oh I can teach you a thing or two about Da—"

"SOOOOO uh," James cut him off as Harry glared in horror. "It's getting dark." He shoved Harry a little. "I TOLD you it's all they know." Harry rolled his eyes.

Still snickering, Sirius nodded at Harry. "It's getting late. I'll take you back."

Harry actually pouted a bit but they were right. He got up &amp; grabbed the cloak while Sirius held the door open. As they were leaving, Remus purred out, "But do hurry back ...Mr. Lupin."

Harry gagged as Sirius winked at Remus. "I like the sound of that."

"Harry, don't leave me alone with them," James begged.

"Uh uh!" Harry shook his head. "I'm not staying here. Sorry." James glared indignantly as Sirius shut the door on him &amp; led Harry back to Hogsmeade.

Remus laughed softly, then turned to James. "So," he came to the couch &amp; sat down. "How did that go?"

"I never thought I'd get to be with Harry like that," James said.

"You'll be having a lot more time like that," said Remus. He slowly reached out &amp; took James's hands into his own. "It's safe now." James looked away, "Prongs, what's wrong?"

"Is it really safe now?"

"Orion's in Azkaban," Remus tried, slightly confused.

James finally looked up at him. "So? Who cares? Doesn't mean a thing does it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well Remus," James began. "Azkaban is not the almighty impenetrable fortress we were led to believe, now is it?" Remus remained silent, studying James as he went on. "Just 'cause someone's in there doesn't mean they'll stay there."

"You resent Sirius for proving the world wrong by breaking out, don't you?"

"I," James gasped. It sounded awful the way Remus had put it. "Ray, I'm glad he's out of there."

"I know," Remus pulled up their hands to his chest. "Believe me, I know! But it's understandable how something like that can break one's trust. Azkaban is a mighty fortress. Orion is under top security."

"So was Sirius."

"But you know how Sirius did it," Remus went on. "You're one of the few that do. Did you ever see—oh!" Remus released James's hands &amp; stood up, looking away.

"See what?" James asked. It was clear that Remus was flustered &amp; embarrassed at something.

"Forget it," Remus smiled too quickly. "I nearly asked a very stupid ques—just forget it."

James passed a hand through his hair. "You were going to ask if I ever saw a Spirit tattoo on Orion's body?"

"Oh Jim!" Remus grumbled. "I said forget it!" He went to the table &amp; put both hands on the edge, then crouched down. "Oh Merlin, help," He muttered to himself under breath.

"Moony," James called to him. "Moony, it was a legitimate question. But no, I never saw one."

Remus stayed by the table but looked up at James. "Please kill me. You're a Black after all. It's in your nature."

James smiled softly for a moment. "I'll think about it."

Remus slowly made his way over &amp; sat down again, yet he somehow managed to appear as if he was sitting on a different couch as he kept his distance from James. "I am so sorry. Aww man do I feel stupid right now."

"Would you relax?" James ordered with a short laugh. Remus couldn't look at James, so he cast his gaze to the ceiling. James watched him for a moment before asking, "Ray, where's Paris?"

"Where she usually is," Remus shrugged. "In the barns at Hogwarts. She was happy to see me when I suddenly returned after years away to take over the Dark Arts class."

"I thought you were going to race her?"

"Who helped me train her?" Remus suddenly looked pointedly at James. "Who did I think got you killed? Too many memories involved with that, a lot of them I thought were bad at the time."

"You never went to Azkaban to see him?"

"I tried once, but never made it up the stairs," Remus answered. "How I hated him! But right now, I've been going to Azkaban at least once a week."

"What? Why?"

"For the exact same reason that Sirius escaped," Remus said. "Sirius got out because of illegal Animagic. So I'm watching for that trick again. I check up on Orion."

"Remus!"

"I didn't want to tell you," Remus pressed on. "But since you're worrying about it," he finally managed to look at James. "I have you covered. Don't worry."

A long awkward moment passed between them. James finally broke the silence. "How ...how is it?"

"I've been told the Dementors are sticking to him even more closely than what they did to Sirius," Remus said. "On top of it, Orion is actually chained to his cell. He can only move from one wall to another but he can't come forward to the bars. Most prisoners are free to move about in their cells &amp; even within floors at certain times of the day. Sirius could. But not Orion. He's quite a mess. Every time I see him, he just lies on the floor muttering."

"Do you know what he says?"

"Sometimes stuff about Regulus," Remus said. "Voldemort once. You know, odds &amp; ends like that. He'll have to be revived a bit for his trials starting in a few days."

James was silent a moment before asking. "Does he ...say my name?" Remus took his time, but finally nodded slowly. "I can't wait for summer, Moony."

"It'll come soon enough," Remus noticed that James was close to tears &amp; decided to ease out of the topic. "I went to Sirius's cell last week."

"You did?"

"First &amp; probably only time," Remus shrugged. "It's one floor above Orion's &amp; off to the far right. It's amazing we have him back with his mind intact. It's a unique cell now. Standing empty."

"How is that unique?"

"Sirius used sharp chunks of damaged bits of the fortress that are lying around everywhere &amp; scratched into the walls," Remus said. "There are stick figures of stags &amp; dogs. One wall is unfortunately dedicated to dead rats but it can't be helped."

"I wish I knew how Peter was doing," said James.

"He's in America with his tribe," said Remus. James stared at him. "Sirius is letting me talk to him now."

"Do you think he'd talk to me?"

"Maybe someday," said Remus. "But not yet. We know why, but what you did was terrible. He needs time to recover."

"If only I had known back then what I knew now," James said. "Everything would have been so different."

"Better late than never, right?" Remus finally moved in a little &amp; took hold of James's hands again. "We're almost at the end. Then perhaps, we can all live properly again."

"Perhaps," James said, looking down at their hands. Would anything ever be proper with him again? "Ray," he went on softly. "can I go with you next time?"

Remus stared at him, aghast at the question. The last thing he wanted was to have James anywhere near Orion, even if it was Azkaban &amp; he knew Sirius would fill his quota of murders in a hurry if that happened. Fortunately, Remus was spared any sort of answer by Sirius returning at that moment.

Sirius flipped himself over the couch &amp; landed between them. "So, how are my two favorite guys in the whole wide universe?"

Remus &amp; James stared at him. James scoffed. "Yeah right."

Sirius pouted. "Ok how're my least favorites then? Happy?"

Remus stood up. "I think I'll clear up the table."

"I think I'll help you," James stood up as well.

Sirius was left alone on the couch. "Was it something I said?"


	54. Chapter 54

**(54) The Morning After**

Harry didn't think life would get more miserably hectic than what it was now. Ever since Rita's article had hit the papers, Harry was assaulted by people of all three schools wanting to either console him about his father, sympathise with reasons why he put his name in the Goblet (while others condemned him for it) or just plain talk about his plight.

Harry scowled to himself. His 'plight' would be much easier if they all just shut up already. To make things worse, now Ron &amp; Hermione were having problems. Again. Harry was often stuck in the middle. Again. Harry wasn't even speaking to Ron anyway, which was weird. Oh yeah, let's not forget Hedwig having a major fit of 'Irritable Owl Syndrome' &amp; was hating on Harry to.

It got worse as time went on. In a more mellow moment when they were getting along with each other, Ron had actually resorted to using Hermione like an owl (which she was very displeased about) to simply tell Harry that Hagrid was looking for him one day. Or rather that someone had told someone else to tell someone to tell Ron to tell Harry—by using Hermione—about Hagrid.

Or ...whatever.

Harry officially had a stress headache over it &amp; finally decided he couldn't care less what crawled up Ron's arse &amp; died in there. He went to see Hagrid. But he soon wished he hadn't as there were four large monsters locked up in the Dark Forest &amp; worst, Ron had known about them since this whole thing had started. Dragons were going to be part of the first task &amp; Ron's brother, Charlie, was there taking care of the blazing beasts. Harry decided he would never speak to Ron again. How could he not tell him? Was he really that jealous over a stupid paper coming out of the stupid Goblet with Harry's stupid name on it for all the stupid idiots to see &amp; mock? Harry was in the process of thinking 'Screw Ron anyway' but decided against that thought halfway through, trying to forget what that phrase could actually mean.

In payback for Cedric trying to help get rid of the badges, Harry let him know about the dragons. He also managed to make amends with Hedwig &amp; sent a note off to James about the reptilian monsters in the Forest. But beyond that, there wasn't much else Harry could do. He was going to face a dragon in a few short days &amp; had no idea what the purpose would be apart from not getting eaten &amp; that after not getting 'well done' in under a second. Apart from Hermione, Harry didn't really have anyone around to talk to about anything at the moment since he &amp; Ron were still not speaking to each other. Harry was starting to feel quite alone.

His only relief was the satisfaction of seeing Draco scurry away like the ferret he was whenever they came across each other. But then he would see Snape &amp; hate him even more.

It was Mad Eye Moody who saved Harry in the end. Though James, Sirius &amp; Remus had sent him nothing short of a book on how to deal with dragons that Harry would be lucky to read entirely in his lifetime, Moody had taught Harry a nifty little spell. It turned out that the dragons weren't exactly the main issue but actually a large golden egg was the target.

Harry was the last one out. He kept checking through the tent's flaps for his father or anyone else but couldn't see anyone. He knew they'd be out there. James had promised they would all be there so Harry assumed they were lost somewhere in the stands.

It wasn't until he returned after knocking his dragon out, broom smoking, but gold egg in hand that Harry noticed Remus on the ground. He was standing by the lowest row of seats, leaning against the support beams, looking up at Harry. James &amp; Sirius were near by.

"We missed half of it," Remus admitted when Harry finally managed to make his way over. He noticed James was withdrawn &amp; distant, staying behind the Wolfstar pair. "We got here as soon as we could."

"That's ok," Harry shrugged.

"Orion's first trial," Sirius stated simply. "Lasted longer than we thought. I was in that courtroom glaring at him for most of the day."

Harry instantly knew what was wrong with James. "You all saw him today?"

"Only Sirius. Jim wasn't allowed in as everyone thought it would cause problems so he has to wait his turn," Remus sighed heavily, glad that James had yet to see Orion but knowing the time was drawing nearer. He had so far successfully dodged James's request, often making up excuses as to being busy &amp; he himself had stopped checking up on Orion just to get James off his back. James had never asked again &amp; Remus hoped the incident was forgotten. "I stayed in the waiting room nearby with him. It was a long hard wait."

"We heard him just fine whenever the door was opened," James finally spoke. "What are you doing with that egg?"

"I have no idea," Harry half-smiled, recognising a demand for a topic change.

James moved in closer, hands clasped behind his back as he studied Harry for a moment. "That was some excellent flying, Harry."

"Thanks," Harry glanced at his smoking broom. "I better get this fixed."

James suddenly hurried after &amp; caught Harry from behind. He held his son close. "Harry, I never want to see you around dragons again."

"I'm used to them," said Harry. "There was a baby one here during my first year."

"I hate that you're stuck in this thing," James said. He looked Harry over, then suddenly jumped away with a shriek.

Harry stepped back, holding his broom away. James patted the right leg of his pants down, finding a nice burned hole in the back of it. Harry tried not to laugh. "Sorry!" He turned &amp; headed into the change rooms to fix the broom.

James shot a dark look at Remus &amp; Sirius who were giggling like little girls. They only laughed harder. "You both suck!" James marched past them.

"We both could make very rude comments about that one," Remus said.

James looked at them. "Go ahead. I dare you."

"Fine," Remus said. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"As for me, you already do."

James rolled his eyes shut, then continued on his way to the castle. "Oh I don't need to date you to know, Remus. I've walked in on the two of you often enough." He smiled widely, knowing Remus was glaring.

They stayed for the party in the Great Hall that evening. James found it hard to extract Harry from the pressing crowds which were excited that their second Hogwarts champion actually won. James didn't like crowds as usually he was the center of attention but for once he was mostly ignored. Either Sirius or Remus was by his side at all times as well, keeping an eye on him.

When James did get Harry alone, they both examined the egg but neither knew what to do with it. Harry slowly but surely pulled himself away from the masses, making it a point to head towards the stairs.

"Would you three want to come along?" Harry asked. "Won't be as many people there."

"To the Tower?" James asked, slightly surprised. He hadn't been in that Tower in years.

"Sure. Why not?" Harry shrugged. "Aren't you all lions?"

"Yeah," answered Sirius. "I guess we are."

"Well come on then," Harry turned &amp; hurried up the stairs.

James, Sirius &amp; Remus entered last &amp; felt as if they stepped back in time. It was still the same old common room. Same old arm chairs &amp; fire places. Only the faces were new mostly, apart for Remus who knew most of them from the year before. In fact, several of the older lion cubs soon clustered around him despite the fact that he was a werewolf was now well known in the school. Only the new First Years held back, unsure, as they didn't know him but even if they had tried, they wouldn't have been able to get near him anyway.

Harry was borne up on the shoulders of several people as he held the egg up. The only thing he &amp; his father had found was some sort of lever that seemed to open it though they hadn't had a chance to try until now. "YOU WANT ME TO OPEN IT?" Harry called out over the noise of the crowd.

He finally did so &amp; the most painful unearthly sound came screeching out of it. The party was stopped. Harry had a new-found dislike for floors as he landed face first on it. Remus roared while slamming his hands over his poor sensitive years, sending lion cubs scurrying away from him in all directions. Dead silence followed for a moment.

"What was THAT?" James gasped from the dorms. He &amp; Sirius had gone upstairs to check out the old dorms.

"WHAT?" Sirius screeched, ears ringing.

Remus slowly sat straight, lowering his hands. "Harry, do that again, I'll kill you!" He began rubbing one ear at a time.

"Sorry!" Harry scoffed, not really caring. He was busy nursing a bruised arm from being dropped hard to the floor.

"**What the bloody hell was that?"** Ron demanded as he slowly entered the room.

Now the silence was awkward. Everyone knew by now that Harry &amp; Ron were at odds with each other. Fred shooed people away. Remus tried to coax the younger cubs back, all the while rubbing his ears. Ron moved in closer, looking glum.

"**I reckon you have to be barking mad to put your own name in the Goblet of Fire."**

"**Caught on have you?"** Harry snapped. **"Took you long enough!"** So what if Ron finally figured that out? Still didn't change facts that he knew about the dragons all along but never said anything. Then it came out. Harry wanted to kill something again. **"Who—who could possibly figure that out? That's completely mental!"**

After that, they were finally friends again. James came tumbling down the stairs with Sirius close behind. James got to his knees. "What was that?"

"It was the egg," Harry pointed at the thing lying on the floor nearby.

Sirius walked past &amp; put a hand on Remus's shoulder. "You ok?"

Remus spoke in an agonised whisper. "No. No! Don't speak! It hurts!" He was now rubbing his head, working through a migraine.

/I bet./

Remus just whimpered. The link hurt even more. Even Sirius felt bad, though he wasn't as bad as Remus. James stood up. "You're in Moony's bed, Harry."

"Moony's?"

"It is the one that got the least amount of moonlight," James explained. "We had to keep dark colored thick curtains around his bed, just to be sure. Ron's in mine. I think that fellow from your Quidditch team has Sirius's, um Dean?" Harry nodded as James finished. "Some boy named Neville has Peter's."

Harry stared at him. "Uh Dad? There's someone you should meet." He took his hand &amp; pulled James along to the fireplace. "Hey Neville. This is my Dad." They shared a look. "Dad, Neville …Longbottom."

James gasped. "Oh my God! Are you really?" He collapsed into the chair. "I was in school with your parents. Good friends of mine. I saw you twice as a baby!"

"You knew my parents?" Neville asked apprehensively. "They're ...uh…

They—they're not..."

"I know what happened," James stated.

Neville looked down at Trevor sitting in his lap. "How long did you know them?"

James understood the real question. He leaned forward &amp; said softly. "Would you like to go somewhere &amp; talk a bit?" Neville hesitated, then nodded, still looking at Trevor.

"Dad, what's going on?"

"Later Harry," James took the toad &amp; gave it to Harry. "Take care of this. I'll be back later." At that, he &amp; Neville got up &amp; left without another word, leaving Harry in total confusion.

Harry didn't get an explanation for their behaviour any time soon either. James, Sirius &amp; Remus soon left, promising to be back for Christmas. All Harry got was an owl from James telling him to not bring up the subject. Neville will talk in his own time. It made Harry all the more curious about it, but coming from a long line of tragedies, he understood the need to let the other person come out first &amp; so kept quiet.

Harry soon had bigger problems that drove Neville from his mind. McGonagall had taken on a new class to teach &amp; all students had to take it. Dance class! It would be no ordinary Christmas this year. They were actually going to have a Yule Ball. Harry didn't know what was worse. Trying to dance or trying to find a girl to dance with. Cho was already taken by Cedric which for some reason annoyed Harry but he didn't understand why. Ron asked Fluer, a girl from Beauxbatons. Didn't quite work out the way Ron intended it but it still sent shock waves through the school that he would even get the nerve to ask someone like her! Hermione was rarely seen when Ron was around, though Harry did see her chatting to Viktor Krum a few times.

When the ball was finally upon them, Hermione &amp; Cho were the prettiest girls there. But the men who truly wanted them on their arms had been cast to the side. It fractured Hermione &amp; Ron's relationship even more &amp; Harry decided he could never compete with Cedric over Cho.

Hardly any of the partners were with who they wanted. Hagrid &amp; Maxime seemed to hit it off after some awkward moments. But eventually, both Ron &amp; Harry were single as other men stole their girls. The only ones who didn't seem mismatched (besides Hagrid &amp; Maxime) were Sirius &amp; Remus, perfectly within their element together. James did dance with both of them briefly but he soon left the pair to their own devices.

He sat by Harry, watching Remus share wine with Sirius at another table. "So Harry, you do have a girlfriend. Where is she?"

"She's not my girlfriend," Harry grumbled irritably. "I don't know where she is any more."

"She was quite pretty dancing with you earlier."

"I had no choice," Harry shrugged. "I was supposed to dance with her."

James sighed, giving up. He handed a package over. "I never thought a day like this could come. Me here, sharing Christmas with you. Here. I know it doesn't begin to make up for what I missed, but it's a start."

"What is this?" Harry opened the box. Several video tapes were inside.

"They're from a drawer in our family vault," James said. "Your mother was muggle born. She filmed a lot when we started dating. Right up to after you were born. Right to ...well all she could before then."

"...Dad..." It took all Harry's willpower not to burst into tears. Videos? Of him? Of his family? For the first time ever, Harry couldn't wait to go back to Privet Drive. He could watch them whenever the Dursleys were out. He leaned against James "Dad this is more than enough."

"You'll learn a lot with those," James slowly but surely tried to hold his son closer.

The ball went on for most of the night. Harry eventually went to bed, more so to avoid an angry Hermione than anything else. Neville was one of the last ones in &amp; he was still dancing.

Late the next day, people slowly pulled themselves into the Great Hall. Nearly all had various degrees of a hangover &amp; many had never even left the Great Hall at all. Several students &amp; even a couple of Professors were slumped over tables passed out. Snape was in the hospital wing; though apparently, it was due more to James hexing him severely in a drunken row.

Madam Pomfrey was doling out potions to cure the worst hangovers. She poked people with her wand to make them wake up, force fed the potion, then let them drop right on the spot. She worked her way slowly through the school.

Harry wasn't too bad until he found his way outside. There, the bright light of the sun intensified by the bright white snow all but killed him. He stumbled into the nearest tree, desperate for shade. After nearly fifteen minutes he recovered &amp; was adjusted enough to blink out across the grounds.

James &amp; Sirius sat across from each other at a long wooden table nearby Herbology. Sirius was laid back against the wall for support. He sighed heavily. "I think if Harry ever recovers &amp; we get to see him, we should get going."

James watched as a man slowly emerged from one greenhouse, then simply stared with mouth agape. The man looked ready to fall over &amp; seemed to have absolutely no clue where the bloody hell he was. James half smiled. "We won't be going anywhere until that," he pointed at the sorry sick drunk. "is capable of apparating."

Sirius blinked blearily in the direction James was pointing, only to see the man turn &amp; topple over a wilted rose bush. They heard gagging sounds. "He never learns, does he?" Sirius mused. "Alcohol &amp; Lycan symbionts just don't mix."

"Neither can Madam Pomfrey fix him," said James.

"I know," Sirius nodded slowly. "The wolf messes everything up. He just has to recover the long way &amp; man, it's going to be long this time."

"Why aren't you that sick?" James asked. "I thought you two felt everything with that link of yours?"

"Oh I cut him right out."

"I thought you guys weren't doing that anymore?"

"There are exceptions to every rule," Sirius winced as more retching sounds were heard. "I suffered a werewolf hangover once. I am NEVER doing that again! He'll live." Another gag came from the browned rose bush. "Unfortunately."

"He sounds like he's coughing up that worm of his." Both James &amp; Sirius wanted to laugh, but they still had their own hangovers to worry about. Granted, no one in the whole wide universe was suffering half as much as Remus at the moment.

"Ohhhh Moony will make him pay dearly the next full moon," James managed to say.

"We'll help him," Sirius said.

"Well," James slowly got up &amp; steadied himself. "I'm going to look for Harry. I'll leave you to take care of Remus. See ya." He walked backwards three steps before determinedly forcing himself to move forwards. "I'm too old for this!" He muttered on is way by. Sirius tried to laugh softly as he slowly stood up.

Sirius made his way to Remus &amp; looked down on him. The werewolf was lying face down on the ground with his head under the rose bush. With groggy eyes, he looked up at Sirius through a haze. "Ugh! I'm sick as a dog."

"You are a dog," Sirius shook his head &amp; sighed. "Get up." Remus just continued to lay on the ground, moaning pathetically (though he did manage a rude hand sign aimed in Sirius's direction). Sirius stood by. This would be a really long wait.

* * *

_(AN: British Top Gear fans will understand the drunk scene all too well. LOL)_


	55. Chapter 55

**(55) Dark Angel**

The setting sun cast a long orange streak over the ocean, making it sparkle so much it was nearly blinding. Despite the beautiful view, the large stone gray mansion looked as foreboding as ever as it rose up on its small island in the salty waves. The snowy layer added an even bleaker coldness to the place.

James stood at the edge of rock jutting out of the sea &amp; looked up at the walls. The small boat was tied nearby. He was alone, staring at the place, working up the nerve to go in. Dementors floated around the top, gliding in &amp; out of a few large holes to allow them passage. James shivered &amp; pulled his large fur cloak closer. How Sirius survived this place for twelve years was anyone's guess. He slowly made his way towards the main doors.

James held up his wand in one hand &amp; a white gleaming card in the other as he moved forward. Two Dementors floated near the door. He held the card out, letting the soft silverish light shine onto them. An Auror's card with his identification written on it. The Dementors cared not who he was, only the what of it. The soft light on the card was based on Patronus powers. Once a Dementor felt it, they knew instantly an Auror was with them. The pair of vile creatures cringed &amp; drifted aside to let James through.

Once he had passed inside, James pocketed both card &amp; wand. The swarm would know instantly to leave him alone. No one knew how but once one Dementor knew one thing, it seemed like the rest of the swarm understood it, most likely through telepathy. The other Dementors inside merely moved aside &amp; caused James no trouble.

On the first floor in the hall of the entrance doors, was a pedestal with a book chained to it. The book bore the names of each prisoner, where they were kept, their crime &amp; sentence, the years since they had been brought in &amp; if they were still alive or dead. James flipped to the B section &amp; scanned down until he found Black. There were several. Some were from centuries ago. There was even one Black Potter there. A Potter who was more Black &amp; Dark than Potter &amp; Light. Dementor's Kiss followed that name. James soon found a much more familiar name.

Black, Sirius.** Prisoner Number { Y 390 *** Floor 13 C Section. Cell 1256. Responsible for 15 murders, including James &amp; Lily Potter. Death Eater of the Dark Lord. Life sentence.

Run away. Attempted murder of Harry Potter at Hogwarts. Attempted murder of Remus Lupin at Hogwarts. Possible other attacks as well. Dementor's Kiss upon recapture.

Dementor's Kiss on sight.

James could hardly believe what he was reading. There was a line through it all &amp; underneath was one simple word. "Acquitted" &amp; that was it. "At least you're out," He turned away from the book &amp; glanced at the myriad of stairs leading away from the main hall. There was a Dementor at each entrance along both sides of the hall. Each stairwell led away to large bars behind which were the prison cells. He moved to the nearest Dementor. "Take me to the cell Sirius Black was in." The Dementor promptly glided down the hall &amp; up the farthest stair. James followed behind.

After ages of climbing (&amp; floating) it seemed, the Dementor finally stopped across from one cell door hanging loosely on one hinge. After a slight hesitation, James entered what had been Sirius's home for so long. He put on hand over his mouth as he looked the place over. The scratches over the walls were crude imitations of a life lost. A small bed with a thin useless blanket that was half off was in one corner. The barred window overlooked the sea away from the mainland. The glass in it was broken. James wondered for how long &amp; hoped it wasn't broken while Sirius had been here.

James moved to the bed &amp; picked up the blanket to lay it back properly. While tucking in one edge, he noticed another scratched out picture on the wall hidden by the bed. He pushed the mattress out a bit to see better. He stared at it for a long time, then put the mattress back &amp; turned to leave. Passing through the door, he noticed a tuft of black fur jammed in a notch of one bar. He carefully pulled it away &amp; pocketed it. Not one bit of Sirius was allowed to be here. He would make sure it was all taken away.

Once back in the hall outside that cell, James stood silent for a long time. The Dementor moved closer to him, thriving on the storm of his emotions but not daring to touch an Auror without permission. Unconcerned by the Dementor's antics, he finally turned to it. "Alright. Take me to Orion Black's cell." The Dementor glided away.

Again it stopped across the hall from the cell door. This time the door was closed &amp; locked firmly. A Dementor was on either side. James stayed just far away enough so that he could not see in just yet. His Dementor guide soon floated towards him expectantly. It stopped directly in front of James, waiting for the next order. "Can I go in?"

Instantly, the other two Dementors by the door turned &amp; unlocked it. The one that had been on the left pulled it open &amp; held it so. The guide floated in &amp; off to the side. James didn't follow. He waited so long that the guide soon reappeared in the doorway. James finally moved closer. Still staying out of sight, he addressed his guide in a low whisper. "Do not leave my side please." The guide floated towards him once more. "I trust you more than I do that monster in there." The Dementor turned his head a little, curious at the statement. It was not used to such conduct from people. Like a Dark Angel, it glided to James's side &amp; followed him inside.

Orion lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. The chains were slack on him. He could get up &amp; move around a little. The Dementor pointed to the floor. There was a straight line from one side to the other part way in from the door. Orion could not cross that line. He could only move around the back half of the cell. Along all four walls inside, were sixteen more Dementors, four against each of the four walls.

James &amp; his guiding Dark Angel moved to within an inch of the line. James watched the man for a while. Orion still stared at the ceiling. Whether he knew they were there or was so out of it with the Dementor swarm constantly around, James didn't quite know. He did know that Orion had to be lucid enough for the first trials with Sirius. "So," James began in a loud voice to gain Orion's attention. "you ready for the final showdown?"

Orion turned his head to look at him. He didn't say anything, only stared for nearly a minute, then returned his gaze to the ceiling.

"What's this?" James taunted. "You won't speak to me? After all you've done, nothing?"

Orion got to his feet &amp; headed to the line. James stepped away almost to the door, the Dementor floating backwards to stay with him. "What do you want?" Orion finally spoke in a bored voice.

"I came to see you," answered James.

"Missed me?" Orion teased.

"You wish," James snarled. They glared at each other before James went on. "I went upstairs first."

"To his cell?" Orion derided.

"I can't even begin to comprehend what you did to Sirius," James shot back.

"What I did?" Orion scoffed. "Who was the one who agreed to his ludicrous plan of two Secret Keepers for the price of one? Hmm? It was all you, wasn't it?"

"Oh don't turn this around on me," complained James.

"Why not?" Orion went on. "It's true. You should have insisted on using him. You should have stayed home."

"You should be dead!"

Orion glared at him. "Well you should learn how to murder people properly."

"Unbelievable," James muttered under breath.

"Well, you didn't kill me," Orion explained. "I told you I'd make you regret it."

"You're going to get the Kiss in a few months," James fought back angry tears. "I have you trapped. I won! Yet you stand there as if everything's ok."

"No Jim," Orion began. "Everything is not ok, but there's nothing I can do about that right now. But a lot can happen in a few months. You better pray I don't find out how Sirius got out." He shot a dark glare at James. "Because if I do, I will make you even more miserable than you can ever imagine."

"We'll see about that," James snapped. "When you're strapped down one last time &amp; a Dementor leans over you! I'll hear you scream!" James put a hand on the Dementor's arm like a friend. "These creatures. Amazing talent. I'm going to watch it, Uncle," He snarled out the word in a patronizing tone. "I will enjoy it as much as you enjoyed hearing me scream &amp; cry for mercy. Just wait for summer. Then I will never ever see you again!"

"I'll see you in hell," Orion said. "You're no saint! I know what you did to Peter Pettigrew, using a slave crown to control him; though, I don't know how you managed to hide him from the world all this time. But it couldn't be good, coming from you. Plus your attempted murder of me on top of whatever else you did."

"Even if I do end up in hell, I doubt we'll see each other again," James snarled through gritted teeth. "Surely there is a special spot reserved for the likes of you alone!"

Orion suddenly half smiled. "You &amp; I both know about special spots, don't we?"

With a shout of rage, James shot forward &amp; punched Orion so hard across the face that he stumbled backwards &amp; fell to his knees. James stood glaring down as Orion put one hand over his face, making the chains rattle. "I hate you!" James gasped hoarsely as the Dementor put both hands on his shoulders &amp; pulled him back. James fought against it. "You hear me? I HATE YOU!" The Dementor continued to drag James back across the line while those along the wall slowly began to press in. James had stepped over the line with the force of the blow.

Orion slowly stood up as James was pulled out the door. "Not as much as I hate you!" He shot back. The door slammed closed &amp; locked into place. They glared at each other through the bars. "You know as well as I that you ought to be right here in this place next to me, waiting for your own Kiss. How much money did you pay to weasel your way out of it? Huh? You coward!"

James smiled lightly. "Someone's getting scared." He began to walk away.

"If you can do that, so can I," Orion warned. "I know all your secrets Jim. I'll tell them about that little Stag of yours."

James stopped walking but didn't turn around. "They already know."

"So you're registered now?"

"No I bought my way out of that," James answered.

"Do they know about that werewolf of yours?"

"Long long time ago. He's registered," James shrugged. "You have nothing."

"We'll see," Orion retorted.

James huffed &amp; headed down the stairs. Orion was just trying to rattle him. James decided that from now on, he wouldn't allow that. Orion was finished. James had only come to see for himself. It had been hard to get away from the constant mother hens named Remus &amp; Sirius, but at last he had managed to come here on his own. He knew the pair would rip him to shreds for it, but James had wanted to see Orion one last time if only to make sure that he was rid of him.

The Dementors stayed behind at the main entrance while James got into the boat alone &amp; after setting it in motion, he lay down across the bottom. The trials were starting up once more very soon &amp; James felt that he was finally nearing the end. Once on the mainland shore, he apparated to the Ministry Of Magic; planning to work more on the Hallow magic in his family. He barely got through the door before he was caught.

"There you are!" Remus put a hand on James's arm. "Where were you? We've been looking everywhere."

"Sorry. Busy," James shrugged, trying to look innocent. "Lost track of the time."

"What were you doing?" Sirius asked as he joined them.

"Never mind," James said. "What are you two doing here?"

"We were about to send a party out to look for you," Sirius answered.

"Guys I'm fine," James tried to calm them. "He's in Azkaban now. Surely I can move about a little?" He pushed past them.

Remus grabbed his arm again, more firmly than last time. He pulled James back &amp; glared into his eyes for a long time. "You didn't!" Remus finally hissed, eyes slightly gold.

"Did what?"

"You went there, didn't you?" Remus demanded. "You went to see Orion. Damn it Jim! Why?"

"What?" Sirius exclaimed. "Jim that isn't true, is it?"

"What makes you think that?" James tried to play dumb.

"Mr. Lupin?" A young Auror came up to them.

"What?" Both Sirius &amp; Remus yelled, still glaring at James.

"We just got a report in," the Auror went on. "Mr. Potter was seen at Azkaban."

James rolled his eyes, hating that idiot. Remus closed his fingers tighter around James's arm. Sirius looked ready to explode. "We'll take it from here," Remus snarled through gritted fangs. The young Auror stepped back, well away from him. _"Merci (Thank you)!"_

Sirius watched him retreat, then rounded on James. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Sirius," Remus hushed him.

Sirius ignored him. "Going there to that place, to see that man? Trials are starting up again soon. Why didn't you wait?"

"I wanted to see him."

"WHY?" Sirius demanded.

"To make sure he's fully secured," James glanced at Remus. "I had to see it for myself."

Sirius sighed heavily &amp; in a more normal voice he asked, "Why didn't you let one of us go with you?"

"The Dementors were there," James said. "I didn't think you would."

"Jim," Sirius shook his head. "I'd have gone back if you asked me. Remus could have been with us to."

"You shouldn't have gone without us if you absolutely had to go at all," Remus said. He slowly released James. "I wish you didn't do that."

"Look, I did what I had to do. I'm fine," James shoved past them again. "Can we not talk about it any more?"

"I don't understand you," Sirius went on talking about it anyway. "I thought you hated Orion. Afraid of him?"

"I do hate him," James said. "But I am no longer afraid of him. He is well-guarded &amp; secured. We'll be rid of him soon."

Sirius opened his mouth to say more but Remus intervened. "Let it go."

"He's not telling us something," Sirius muttered under breath, watching James like a hawk as he headed towards the great fountain. "Something's wrong."

"I think so to," Remus agreed. "But you can't expect him to tell it all in one go, can you?"

"I guess not," Sirius admitted. "What are we going to do with him?"

"For starters, we aren't going to badger him," Remus looked pointedly at Sirius. "I know you're worried for him. So am I. But we have to wait until he's ready or we'll only end up driving him away. Is that what you want?"

"Of course not!" Sirius snapped.

"Alright then," Remus said. "Give him space." He glanced around for James but saw another man coming round the fountain. Remus instantly turned back, wrapped his arms around Sirius &amp; kissed him right then &amp; there.

"What was that for?" Sirius asked as Remus held him close.

"Nothing," Remus laughed softly. "Distraction, mostly."

"Like that will work," said Sirius. "I'm still worrying about Jim."

"Yeah, not you," Remus growled under breath. Still keeping a firm hold on Sirius, he sent an amber gaze at someone.

"Are you still mad at me, Ray?"

"Oh I'll be mad for a long time, Papa," Remus glared. "After all I have twelve years to account for."

"Ok," John Lyall Lupin walked by without another word.

"Don't you think it's time for you two to talk?" Sirius looked between father &amp; son a few times.

"I don't have anything to say to him," Remus said stubbornly.

"You're getting to have a bit of a Black in you," Sirius patted his cheek, ignoring the glare.

John waited a moment before finally speaking. "I heard the news," He nodded in Sirius's direction. "You changed your name to my family name."

"I hope you don't mind," said Sirius.

"Not at all," said John, trying to catch Remus's eye. Remus didn't exactly look at him, but begrudgingly held out his left hand. John noticed the band. "That's quite nice, Ray."

"Mhm," Remus grunted, still not impressed.

"Come on Ray," John coaxed.

"It's a werewolf thing," Sirius explained as Remus clicked softly, irritated. "Slow to forgive. Believe me, I know what it's like being on the receiving end of that."

"I was only trying to protect him."

"Will you stop it?" Sirius dug his fingers into Remus's ribs. "Bloody annoying." Remus hissed softly. "Shut up! Isn't that the Marauders' job? Protect the werewolf? Hmm?"

"Sirius, you must be the only person in the world stupid enough to poke a werewolf's ribs like that," John muttered under breath.

Remus finally looked at his father &amp; smiled. "Oh that's not the only way he pokes me."

"REMUS!" John groaned as Sirius doubled over, hands on knees, sobbing.

"I can't believe you'd say that to your dad!" Sirius gasped.

"I haven't spoken to him for several months," Remus replied. "So excuse me while I file that one under 'Who cares?'"

"Sirius, feel free to kill him whenever you like," John glared as Sirius wiped away tears.

"Gladly," Sirius wheezed. Remus smacked him. "Maybe I'll let you watch." Sirius went on.

Remus smacked him again as John declared, "I'm leaving." Both knew exactly what Sirius was referring to.

Remus watched him leave, hesitating before suddenly calling out. "Papa?" John stopped &amp; glanced back. Remus moved towards him. "We will talk later perhaps?"

"When you're ... not so busy," John pointed at Sirius. Remus turned bright red as John left at last, laughing his head off.

"Or I'll just go back to being mad at him," Remus grumbled.

* * *

*** From 'Prisoner Of Azkaban' movie, it is not exactly quite like it. I spent almost half an hour google-ing various keyboard symbols but the first two symbols that Sirius has didn't pop up, so that's the best I can do. :/ **


	56. Chapter 56

At the moment, the wildfires are FINALLY contained about 50 percent each &amp; the smoke is fully cleared except for some haze hugging the mountains. I am now basically fully unpacked! YAY

**(56) Ending Of A Nightmare**

The window pane rattled slightly as an icy blast shook the house. A blizzard had come up in the night, making the temperature drop considerably. A large fire blazed in the hearth, a half albino owl perched above it on the mantle, feathers puffed up to keep warm.

Remus lay asleep on the opened futon that served as a second bed. Sirius was beside him, though awake, stroking the werewolf's head as he stared into the fire. Amisi shuffled a bit, rather put out that a grate blocked her from flying up into the smoke. Sirius turned his gaze from the flames as James entered the living room.

"How's he doing?" James whispered.

"Well it wasn't a bad moon," Sirius whispered back. "but not a good one either. It took him a long time to fall asleep yesterday." He slowly got off the bed &amp; moved over to James. "Something you should be doing. Big day in a few hours."

"Which is precisely why I can't sleep," James said under breath. He turned to leave so they could talk better without disturbing Remus.

Sirius entered the kitchen first &amp; soon had the small fire going near the stove. "I'll make you a tea &amp; put in a Sleeping Draught."

"No I don't want any potions," James blurted out.

Sirius stared at him. "Jim."

"I slept earlier," James lied to cover his blunder. "I'll be fine."

"You don't look fine."

"I'm just tense."

"Ok a Peace potion then."

"I don't need any! I'm fine."

Sirius rubbed his face with his fingertips. "You bloody Potters are so damned stubborn, you know?"

"Sorry," James said sarcastically. "Although I get it from my mother more &amp; she was a Black."

"Oh who cares," Sirius replied immaturely. He got a normal tea ready instead, but watched for an opportunity to slip any kind of potion in when James wasn't looking.

James however, never once looked away. He was used to being tricked. Sirius had no choice but to hand him a simple cup of tea. "Thanks," James went to sit down at the table. "Sorry for the mess up there."

"I'll fix it later," Sirius smiled. "But I'll keep the pictures forever."

James glared at him. The night before had been the full moon &amp; James had stayed with them for once. Unfortunately, it had been a cold night so they had stayed inside. Now, the house bore large gashes along the walls &amp; in the door frames from the horns of the stag being too wide to fit properly. James had gotten himself so stuck between two rooms with his horns jammed into the walls that he could do nothing for the rest of the night until Remus had reappeared. He had tried to change back but being too far into the walls, he had to stay as Prongs while Remus cut his horns down by half on either side just to free him. The shaved off horn bits were still jammed into the walls.

"Hey at least it'll be half the velvet to deal with in a couple of months," James finally spoke. He winced &amp; rubbed his neck.

"That gave you quite the knock when you skewered the walls, didn't it?" Sirius was still laughing at him.

"I was aiming for that flea-bitten monster," James grumbled. "And that was so uncool, by the way. You &amp; Moony just out of reach barking at me! I hate you both." Sirius buried his face into his arms so he wouldn't laugh out loud &amp; wake Remus. James drank some of his tea before adding, "Knowing Ray, he'll probably want to leave the horns in the walls as decoration."

"We can hang tinsel on them at Christmas," Sirius said, barely able to keep his face straight.

"Only if I don't shove it up his arse first," James retorted.

Sirius gave up trying not to laugh out loud. As he finally settled, he tipped his chair back on two legs &amp; stared at the ceiling for a moment. "So," he began softly. "Are you ready for this?"

James shrugged, staring into what was left of his tea. "Ready as I'll ever be."

Sirius sat straight &amp; looked James over. James still had his head bowed over his tea, seeing into the cup without really seeing anything. His hair had about as much grey as Sirius did. He looked worn out. "You should go back to bed."

James glanced up at him, meeting his eyes. Unabashed, neither looked away for a long moment, both having found a comfortable friendship between them once more. "I'll be fine," James finally said. "I don't think I'll rest easy until I finally see that man for the last time for sure."

Sirius leaned across the table. "That day is getting close."

"I can't wait," said James.

Sirius stood up &amp; poured them both more tea. If James wasn't going to sleep any time soon, then he would need a lot of caffeine to make it through the day. They stayed at the table until dawn poured in through the window. Remus eventually found them: James still drinking tea while Sirius had his head on the table trying to doze without falling too far into sleep. Both looked up as Remus entered.

"You guys are going to be so screwed today," Remus scolded.

"I already have a headache," Sirius muttered.

"Well take an aspirin," Remus ordered. "We're leaving in half an hour."

"What's aspirin?" James asked.

"Muggle medicine," Sirius stood up &amp; went to get one. Remus shook his head at James.

"What? I'm freakin' pureblooded," James scowled.

"So is Sirius," Remus pointed out.

"Yeah but he's a special snowflake that prefers muggles to magic," James defended.

"I suggest you have one as well," said Remus.

"Why?"

"You haven't slept in two nights &amp; soon to be two days," Remus explained.

"I ju—HEY!" James put his hands up &amp; caught something that was small &amp; sounded like a rattle snake's tail when shook. He looked into his hands to find a small aspirin bottle. "Watch where you throw things!"

"That was for the special snowflake comment," Sirius grumbled.

James made a rude hand sign before attempting to open the bottle. Remus put a glass of water on the table in front of him. "How the hell do you open this thing?" James asked after ten minutes. He held the bottle so close to his nose that he was now looking cross-eyed at it. Sirius &amp; Remus burst out laughing. "Screw it. Alohamorah!" James pointed his wand at the lid. It promptly popped off.

Sirius stared in surprise. "That actually worked?"

"Well those lids are made like a lock as a child safety thing," said Remus, looking pointedly at James who just as obviously ignored the comment.

James stared into the bottle at a pile of little white tablets. He suddenly tipped the whole lot back into his mouth. "NO YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED—oh _merde (shit)!" _Remus &amp; Sirius yelled in one voice.

"Wh'm?" James mumbled, shrugging, as he started chewing the tablets. "Mm? Mm! Hmm!"

"You idiot!" Sirius thumped him on the back. James hacked &amp; got up. He went to the sink to cough up all the tablets. Sirius turned the tap on. "Take some water. It'll help rinse out your mouth. Don't swallow anything! Just rinse. Stupid idiot!" Sirius continued to pat James on the back. Remus facepalmed.

After a quick rinse with water, James stood up &amp; glared at Sirius. "You know, you could have told me not to swallow anything right away."

They stared at each other. "You didn't!" Sirius suddenly gasped.

"I'd say I swallowed about half of them," James said. "Sorry. I thought that's what you did."

"NO!" Sirius groaned. "One or two maybe, but that's it!"

Remus read the bottle's label. "Well it says you can have upto four daily. How many do you think you swallowed?"

"I don't know. Nine or ten at least. Why?"

Remus just groaned, putting the bottle back on the table. "Fortunately these ones have a coating to protect your insides. You'll probably feel really sleepy soon though."

"Let's just get through this day," Sirius said.

Remus took their hands into his &amp; turned them all away. They landed in front of the Ministry Of Magic. Remus led them inside &amp; after passing security, he brought them to the elevators that when down into the very heart of the Ministry's underground. He stopped in front of the door leading into the great court room &amp; turned to James.

"He won't be in there yet," Remus began. "How you feeling?"

"Fine," James said. He blinked once, hard. "Though I think the room's a bit wobbly."

"Know what? We should take you to the hospital," Remus started.

"I'm not waiting any longer," James shot back. "The sooner we start these final trials, the sooner it's all over."

"James," Remus said in a desperate voice. "You're drugged!"

James leaned back a little—in his mind though a lot in his body—to look Remus in the eye. "I'm handling it. Focus on Orion. Nothing else."

"This is probably a good thing," Sirius said. "You were so tense earlier. Now since you're drugged, you might actually be relaxed enough to go in there without having a sorcery seizure."

"That," James tapped Sirius on the chest. "is a very," he patted Sirius on the cheek. "good point." He flicked Sirius on the nose.

"Yeah or we should just go to the hospital," Sirius quickly sided with Remus.

"We can go after," James said. "Right now. Get out of my way!"

Remus sighed &amp; opened the door. /Must be magical interference that's making him this way./

/He'll crash soon./

/Maybe the sight of Orion might sober him up./

/Let's just keep a close eye on him./

They were among the first to arrive. Remus led them to seats front &amp; center but high up, well out of Orion's reach if he managed to get loose. Putting James between them, the three of them sat down. The prisoner's chair stood in the center of the floor, empty for the moment. James stared at it, then up at the ceiling. He was soon leaning sideways, putting his head on Sirius's shoulder as if he was going to sleep.

"Hey," Sirius whispered, nudging James with his elbow. "Should have slept when I told you."

"I'm not sleeping, I'm waiting," James muttered, sitting straight. "My ears are really ringing."

Remus shot him a glare of pure gold. "Man you are one screwed up deer right about now. You should have asked us how many pills you should take!"

"Sorry," James was anything but.

The court room was filling up with the entire Wizengamot by now. James, Sirius &amp; Remus were on the left-hand side rows but close to where Minister Fudge himself now stood on the row of stands facing the chair. Two people entered the floor by another door &amp; stood waiting. Once all had arrived, everyone in the rows of seats sat down except for Fudge.

"We are here today to continue the trials of Orion Black," Fudge announced. "Please bring in the accused." He nodded to the two Aurors waiting on the floor.

Sirius &amp; Remus each took a hand of James, silently letting him know they were still there. James kept his eyes firmly on the chair until Orion finally occupied it &amp; a cage appeared around it so even if he did escape the shackles, the cage still kept him contained. Remus had been right. Seeing Orion had an affect on James as he stared down at the side of Orion's face since Orion was looking towards Fudge at the moment. Remus &amp; Sirius felt James's nails digging into their palms but didn't let go.

"Orion Black," Fudge began. "You now stand accused of indescribably despicable crimes against one James Potter, including sex with a minor, rape, torture ..."

James closed his eyes as Fudge went on down the list of everything James had once written down to charge Orion with. He had often dreamed of a day like this but had wondered if he would ever get it. As Fudge came to the end, James looked up at the Wizengamot. Each had various degrees of shock or disgust on their faces. He chanced a look down at Orion but he hadn't changed yet.

"Before we start with the first one," Fudge ended. "Have you anything to say?"

James kept his eyes on Orion who spoke at last. "Not much. James misbehaves. He cost me my eldest son."

"THA—!" James nearly yelled but both Sirius &amp; Remus clapped their hands over his mouth.

"Not yet!" Sirius hissed in his ear. "Stay quiet!" James glared at him but could say nothing.

No one noticed the outburst as Fudge went on. "We shall see. Now, your first crime: in the late summer of 1977, were you aware that James Potter was a minor at the time?"

"Of course I was," Orion muttered. "But he was close enough. Less than a year to his 17th birthday."

"Still makes him a minor at the time," Fudge said nonchalantly. "And there are laws about that. Were you aware of such laws?"

"Yes," Orion sighed, bored. "James Potter is a nephew of mine, once or twice removed but still," He added. "How I keep family in line is my business."

James made some noise in his throat but no more as Sirius &amp; Remus looked ready to grab him again. Fudge's voice was heard once more. "For the most part, family affairs are left to each their own. But not when it is harmful to an individual, so much so that it nearly cost him his life. According to one witness, Mr. Potter was so ruthlessly violated that he nearly died on the stairs."

"May I ask who that witness is?"

"Sirius Lupin," Fudge answered.

"Lupin?"

"He recently married," Fudge explained. "I mean formerly Sirius Black, your eldest son."

"Ah," Orion sighed. "As you may know, my eldest son &amp; I do not get along. I wouldn't take what he says to ... how to put this? Seriously."

Remus flung himself across James's lap as Sirius nearly jumped over the railing to run at Orion. Remus pushed him back into his seat. "Stay still!"

"Perhaps, perhaps not," Fudge said. "However, we have had Aurors visit the scene of the crime. To this day, there is a bar missing in the balustrade of the main stairs of 12 Grimmauld Place. There is a magical stamp in the place of the missing bar &amp; it matches the strands of power of James Potter. Then of course there is the question of his sorcery seizures he often suffers. Do you know what causes sorcery seizures?"

"Lack of control," said Orion.

"More precisely, a lack of ability to maintain stability of powers due to conflicting forces," Fudge corrected. "I shall let our head healer from St. Mungo's explain."

An old witch stood up, her greying brown hair in a bun. She wore the robes of the hospital which had the bone &amp; wand crossed symbol. "A sorcery seizure is caused by trauma to the body that leaves permanent damage," she began. "Such as a terrible accident involving flying on a broom that can lead to deadly injuries. Or perhaps if one receives a concussion as in a fight or getting hit on the head. In most cases, sorcery seizures won't appear since we have methods to fully heal most injuries." She hesitated before adding. "Rape is another thing that causes a lot of damage, enough to cause sorcery seizures if the injuries are not attended to." She turned to Fudge. "This leads me to believe that James Potter did not receive medical care after the first time he had been forced ... or any time."

There was a collective gasp from the Wizengamot. Sirius had both hands over his nose for a moment, trying not to cry. He soon put a hand on James's left cheek. "Then that's my fault," He whispered softly. James tried shaking his head. "I didn't do enough for you."

"You did more than enough," James tried to console him. "We simply didn't know but even if we did, I know that I still wouldn't have gone to any Healer."

"Jim," Sirius tried to speak but his voice cracked.

"Sorcery seizures are most apparent in rape cases," the old Healer went on. "As most victims do not come forward with their cases due to feelings of shame."

"And there you have it," James told Sirius.

"It is why we urge victims of rape to speak up," she continued. "Not only will it prevent sorcery seizures in the future, but also they can get all help they need. Any trauma that leaves lasting damage takes precedence in the mind. One becomes focused on the distress, even at a subconscious level. Therefore, not all control is given to keeping your powers in balance &amp; they will turn against you. Trauma vs. powers. Both require a lot of mental force &amp; one body cannot give that much to everything at once. So something has to give &amp; it's usually the magic." She sat down at last.

"Thank you Madam Celest," Fudge said, turning his attention back to Orion. "There is also another witness besides Sirius Lupin. Your house elf, Kreacher."

"He wouldn't say anything," said Orion, but James could detect a note of worry in his voice.

"Did you ever order your house elf to keep quiet about what happened?" Fudge said.

"I always tell him," Orion paused to think. "Told him not to tell anyone ..." he rolled his eyes, annoyed with himself. "Anyone in the family of anything I do."

"Well, as I am not family," Fudge said. "It took some coaxing, but he spoke."

"I'm amazed that little bugger is still alive," Orion complained under breath to himself.

Fudge ignored the comment. "Then of course we have a personal testimony as well. Are you aware that James Potter is here?"

Orion looked the front stands over where the court was sitting, staring down at him. "I don't see him."

"Over here," James called out. Orion turned his head to find James sitting between Remus &amp; Sirius, arms crossed &amp; glaring at him. They stared at each other until Fudge broke the silence.

"We have here the written document of James Potter himself," Fudge unrolled a scroll. "With your permission Mr. Potter, I would like to read out a portion of it." James nodded. Fudge scanned along before reading, "I finally understood why Sirius would constantly say things that upset his father. It was because they were true, but worse, it was the only thing one could do. His power was too strong, his physical strength was too brutal. Hurling insults was the only way to fight back. He is vile &amp; pathetic, constantly ravaging the body of one who can barely live through each of his attacks. How I survived any of them, I'll never know. I thought the first time when I was 16 was bad. He had even allowed Bellatrix to 'help' him have his way with me. But that was nothing compared to the next time he merged his body to my own, which in turn was nothing compared to the next time after that or after that."

Sirius gasped &amp; turned his face away from James, one hand over his mouth. Remus kept his golden eyes downwards so that the court wouldn't notice a werewolf in their midst. Fudge rolled up the rather long scroll. "He explained later in some detail as to things you did, but I'd rather not read them again if I don't have to. But it's all here. Which brings us to another thing, Bellatrix Lestrange. She is currently in Azkaban as you may know, for several crimes, including the torture of Frank &amp; Alice Longbottom who, to this very day, still lie in St. Mungo's Hospital. They also, have episodes with warped powers."

"That isn't my problem," Orion shrugged.

"How dare you?" James bellowed through tears. "Frank &amp; Alice are friends of ours! Don't speak against them!"

"Enough, Mr. Potter," Fudge raised a hand to silence him. "Though tragic, they are not the focus of this particular trial. Only Bellatrix is listed among one of your attackers."

"Like I said," Orion smiled triumphantly at James. "Not my problem." James screamed in rage &amp; made as if to launch himself at Orion's throat. It took the combined strength of Remus &amp; Sirius to hold him back; though, both had the same feeling as James at the moment.

James finally gave up fighting against the Wolfstar team &amp; sat down again. "Bella held me down while Orion had his way with me. She put her hands on me to that first time."

"Aurors were sent to question her," Fudge said. "She said she doesn't remember much but confirms what Orion did to you that time." James glanced at Orion &amp; smiled at the look on his face. Orion was stunned that Bellatrix had even said anything. Wherever her loyalties were, they certainly weren't with him. It took Orion a moment to realise that Fudge was talking to him. "So Mr. Black," Fudge leaned forward in his seat. "How do you plead to this charge?"

"Not guilty."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You went to the four who would testify against me due to their biased views," Orion said. "Sirius &amp; I have never gotten along since the day he was born. Kreacher preferred my wife to me. ('I wonder why,' James muttered to himself.) Bellatrix serves the Dark Lord above all else &amp; cares not for me &amp; don't even get me started," Orion glared up at James. "On him!" James returned the look with equal hate as Orion went on. "My nephew is nothing but a trouble maker. Just look at his school records! He's the one who led Sirius astray from the Black family. He's the one who cemented Sirius's hate for our ancient family heritage. He often teased &amp; beat up Regulus, my other dear son who's now dead. He tried to kill me &amp; darn near succeeded. Beat me nearly to death. Buried me alive. Premeditated murder with Sirius I later found out. How do you know he isn't fabricating this whole thing just to cause more trouble for me? You have no real proof! Then Jim takes full control over one Peter Pettigrew &amp; most likely holding Peter against his will. Think I'm evil? Jim is no saint either! Oh one more thing, if he hadn't tried to sneak off to Hogwarts when he was supposed to be using the Fidelus Charm, it's most likely dear sweet Lily Evans might still be alive."

"YOU SICK TWISTED FU—!"

"MISTER POTTER HOLD YOUR TONGUE IN THIS COURT!" Fudge silenced him.

But James was wriggling against the constraints of Sirius &amp; Remus once more &amp; this time, after a well placed bite onto Remus's cheek, he finally broke away &amp; launched himself down the rows to the floor. Remus clapped one hand over his cheek, looking surprised. Both Aurors on the floor raised their wands but with a blast of warped power, they went flying backwards into the wall. Remus had little choice but to expose himself &amp; quickly jumped through the rows. He leaped off the banister &amp; landed like a cat in front of James. Everyone gasped, expecting Remus to hurt himself with that high jump but he seemed fine. Remus stared James down, fangs bared &amp; growling. The entire Wizengamot shot to their feet. Cries of 'Werewolf! That's a werewolf!' sounded throughout the crowd. Orion scoffed as Sirius fought his way to Remus &amp; James still holding each other at bay.

"Now see what you've done Jim?" Orion called out. "You'll get your little pet killed yet!"

"SHUT UP!" James bellowed.

"If he dies, it's on your head," Orion went on.

"You shut up as well!" James glared over Remus's shoulder at Orion. His first outburst had been directed at Remus. "Moony! Calm down!"

"I will if you will!" Remus snarled, teeth still gritted.

"GET DOWN!" Sirius threw himself against Remus &amp; the pair went tumbling to the floor just as a few spells shot into the space where Remus had been standing a split second before.

Fudge's feeble attempts at crying out 'Order! Order!' went on unheard. He put his wand to his throat. "Sonorus!" Then with his voice magnified he screamed "ORDER!" so loud that it boomed around the entire room. People clapped hands over ears. "SIT DOWN!" came the next magnified boom. A few obeyed but most remained at the very top of the rows, well away from Remus.

Sirius lay over Remus, pressing him into the stone cold floor. James stepped in front of them &amp; spread out his arms, looking up at Fudge. Silence hung so thick it could be cut with a knife. Witches &amp; wizards shuffled nervously, looking down on Sirius still covering Remus. "Don't hurt him," James finally spoke. "He's friendly. I've helped raise him since he was a pup. He taught the Dark Arts class during my son's third year, one of the best teachers that class ever had! You gave him an Auror's license," He reminded Fudge. "Auror Remus Lupin, the Light Werewolf. He's one of us, remember?"

"Then why the hell did he just try to attack you if he's so tame?" Fudge demanded.

"Sir if he wanted to attack me, I'd be dead already," James answered. "Like any wolf, he formed a pack. I'm usually the Delta rank. Harry's our Alpha. He was just holding me away from Orion. He didn't attack me, just chastised. He is the one who brought Orion down in the end. Sirius has been married to him since they were eighteen but in all this time, Sirius is still fully human. Remus has never tried to turn anyone in all his life."

"Might I add to that fact?" Remus began. He moved his head up a bit &amp; indicated his bleeding cheek. "I'm not the one who's biting around here." He shot a glare at James.

"Sorry Moony but you were being an arse," James replied coolly. Remus tried to hiss but Sirius kept him quiet. A hiss wouldn't help their case right now.

The head Medi-witch stood up &amp; came down a few rows. "Did you say his name is Remus Lupin?" James nodded. Celest moved down to the floor &amp; headed towards the pair. James blocked her way &amp; shook his head. "It's alright Mr. Potter. I know him." James hesitated but moved away, though he never took his eyes off her. She pushed on Sirius who looked up at her. "Lupin, you probably don't remember me, but I was an assistant nurse when your parents brought you in that night." Remus half sat up as Sirius was still on him. "So young," Celest went on. "Not even five years old. You weren't supposed to survive your wounds. We worked all night &amp; most of the next day on you. But you lived. Now you're all grown up. Married now I hear?"

Remus nodded. "No I don't remember you."

"You were the first werewolf I worked on," Celest went on. "You have an Auror's license to?"

Remus pushed Sirius away &amp; stood up slowly. "Yes. I'm currently a body guard of James Potter, as is Sirius."

"I often wondered what happened to you. I heard rumours of you going to Hogwarts as a kid."

"Not rumours," said Remus. "Dumbledore knew what happened to me. He took care of me."

"We expected you to go wild," Celest admitted.

"Well, James drives me up the bloody wall," Remus spoke loudly. Scattered laughter was heard. "Does that count?"

James made a cutting motion across his throat. Remus just stuck his tongue out. Celest went back to the steps leading into the rows. "He's fine," She told the others, many of which were still standing, unsure. "I've had him in my care before."

After an awkward moment of silence, Fudge began. "Can we continue?" Several people nodded their consent. Fudge waited for Sirius, James &amp; Remus to settle in their seats once more. "Orion Black, you plead not guilty to the charge of forced sex with a minor. You deny witness accounts &amp; personal testimony. You say denial is based on the notion of a biased view. You say any attack of yours on James Potter would be to teach him a lesson &amp; nothing more. You also say that we have no real proof whether this happened or not. Very well, we will hear the story from your own mouth." He nodded to the two Aurors.

One opened the cage &amp; grabbed Orion's head, titling him back against the bars. The other forced some liquid down his throat. Orion was released &amp; the cage closed securely once more. Orion gulped &amp; choked on something, then he went very slack &amp; his head lolled back.

"You have just been given a dose of Veritaserum," Fudge went on. "Now tell us exactly what happened between you &amp; James Potter in the summer of 1977 in your own house."

James breathed a sigh of relief. Orion had no way of getting out of this one. He tried to block out the sound of his voice, depicting exactly what had happened. He laid his head against Sirius's chest &amp; tried to sleep through it. Remus had a hand on his back, rubbing his spine.

The sound of Minister Fudge speaking once more revived James. "I must say that the way you teach children to behave is despicable. This court finds you guilty of this charge, though sentencing will be done later once we've gone through all your charges."

There were yells of approval up &amp; down the rows. James had both hands on his face, crying against Sirius. Just one guilty charge could earn the Dementor's Kiss &amp; James at last was finally feeling an end to his nightmares.


	57. Chapter 57

**(57) The Ban**

Remus &amp; Sirius leaned against the low stone wall that lined the walkway above the beach. They watched a large stag standing below them on the sand, letting the waves crash over its big hooves. It stared across the ocean, watching the last rays of sun flicker into the twilight. Sirius pressed closer against Remus's side &amp; slipped his arm under Remus's arm to take hold of his hand resting on the top of the wall. The stag trotted away a little, occasionally putting his head down, sniffing at pools of sea water filled to the brim with small crabs.

Sirius sighed heavily. "Think he'll be ok? He's barely spoken for the past three days."

"We'll just have to wait," answered Remus. "He's gotten this far."

Sirius put his head against Remus's shoulder. By now, it was night-time, though the sea-walk was lit with lamp posts along the way, casting an eerie glow on the diminishing beach below as the surf moved ever closer. Remus bent his head to press his lips against Sirius's brow.

BLAAHH—splash!

Both Sirius &amp; Remus glanced down at the stag in amusement. Prongs had stumbled over a pool &amp; face-planted the next wave coming in. He staggered about, regaining his balance, looked up at the pair, then licked his snout before walking away as dignified as possible, triangular tail stuck up straight as a pole. His left antler was longer than his right one.

"He looks stupid with those uneven antlers," Sirius mused. "Unbalanced. Probably why he just kissed the ocean."

"Not my fault he wiggled when I tried cutting them down," Remus shrugged, laughing.

"At least they come off," Sirius moved away from the wall, pulling Remus by the hand along with him. They followed Prongs at a distance, catching glimpses of him ahead of them as he passed through the beams of light from the lamps.

"He'll perk up in a few days," Remus said hopefully after they had walked along in silence for several minutes. "Harry's next task is coming up."

"I hope for his sake, it'll get warmer soon," said Sirius. "He told us that he has to go into Black Lake."

"What moron puts a swimming task in the end of February anyway?" Remus complained.

"Well there are warming charms to use," said Sirius. "I sent him a list of those to try."

"Harry hasn't said much else about it," Remus said. "I had asked about what exactly he was supposed to do, according to that egg message. He just wrote back saying it's already taken care of."

"I guess we'll find out soon enough," Sirius stopped walking as Prongs came up some stairs towards them. Sirius looked up at Remus &amp; noticed a few small snowflakes landing on his hair. Sirius patted them off as James showed up.

"I had to wait for the fur to dry," James said. "It's cold."

"Jim, the ocean is the same temperature year round," said Remus. "You wouldn't be complaining about it in the summer time."

"How are you doing?" Sirius asked. James merely shrugged in reply.

Though it was never discussed, the three of them had avoided mentioning Orion or the first trial since they had left the court room a few days before. It wasn't quite the reaction Sirius &amp; Remus had expected of James who, after his initial reaction of being happy about the trial, had become withdrawn &amp; silent.

"You'll be seeing Harry soon," Remus tried.

"Yeah," James said.

Sirius could feel an unusual annoyance at James rising up in Remus. The werewolf finally blurted out, "Jim, is something wrong?" James just shook his head. "Well," Remus cast about for a moment. "Well ... what is it then? Something's bugging you. I know it."

James glanced around at the ocean. Three full breakers crashed against the sea wall before he turned back to Sirius &amp; Remus, still waiting for him. "I want to see Frank &amp; Alice."

The Wolfstar team could only gape at him in shock for over a minute. Neither of them had ever even considered going to see their old friends before now. Sirius put his hands onto James's shoulders &amp; slowly pulled him into a loose hug. But Remus moved away to the wall &amp; stared out at the foaming ocean.

"What is it Moony?" Sirius asked.

Remus turned to him, still standing in James's arms. "It isn't a pretty sight," he said quickly.

"You've gone to see them?" Sirius went on.

"No," Remus gasped under breath. "I – I ... I was there when it had just happened." It was a good thing Sirius &amp; James were still holding on to each other or else they might have fallen down. "The Aurors had gone ahead. I happened to be nearby, trying to work with the wild werewolves. Dumbledore was there to. We had a bit of a fight with Bellatrix &amp; helped catch her. Philip was dead on the floor but Frank &amp; Alice … both were lying on the floor. Frank was passed out. Alice was still screaming. But it was their boy I went for. Neville had been forced to watch the whole thing. He was only five then. He doesn't remember me though, he said. I grabbed him &amp; ran outside to wait for Dumbledore. The Aurors took Frank &amp; Alice away &amp; we all hoped St. Mungos could sort them out. But ... well that never happened."

Dread silence followed, save for the crashing surf. Remus moved away, walking aimlessly down the path. Sirius took James by the hand as they followed after.

"I often wondered what happened to that platypus," Sirius said.

Remus smiled quickly. "I bet you're glad he's dead." James tried not to laugh.

"Well ... no not really," Sirius said. "It was pretty cool having something like that in our common room."

"Oh so you've forgiven him for that little incident in our 7th year? Ya know, about stinging you in the arse with BOTH spurs at the same time?" Remus turned to walk backwards a bit, eyeing Sirius. James finally managed a small laugh.

"Tried a condom lately, Jim?" Sirius scowled. Remus burst out laughing while James swore profusely at both of them.

"Oh that was the most painful thing I've ever had to go through," Sirius shuddered in one breath. ("Try snapping yourself with a condom," James disagreed, but was ignored.) "No cure for that at all either. Stupid thing!"

"You sat on his face," Remus gasped between laughs. "What did you expect him to do?"

"We should go home," Sirius said darkly. "It's getting late."

"You were screaming so loud, you scared the owls all the way in their tower!" Remus went on.

"And all the unicorns," James put in.

"I couldn't get near Paris for a week!"

"I think Dufftown could hear you to."

"Although I think Lily screeched louder when she came down," Remus went on. "We had your pants down by then &amp; she could see your big butt swelling to the size of a large pumpkin!"

"True," James nodded. "My ears still ring from that one!"

"Alright that's enough from you," Sirius snatched a hand from both men &amp; turned on the spot with them before they could mock him further.

Remus &amp; Sirius were wakened early the next morning by Amisi fluttering into their room &amp; landing on Sirius's head. Sirius jerked awake, sat up &amp; threw the owl away before rubbing his head.

"Wha' you want 'Misi?" Remus moaned into the pillow, still half asleep. Amisi screeched. "ALRIGHT!" Remus sat up sharply. "I'm up. Slave mistress!" Amisi glared at him, then flew to the window sill. Remus rubbed his eyes. "Why do I have an owl again?" He grumbled. He had a love-hate thing with Firefall owls.

"You didn't watch Nightstalker so he went &amp; bred to some hen," Sirius replied, rubbing Remus on the shoulder, knowing perfectly well that Remus would kill anyone if they so much as thought of hurting Amisi.

"Oh yeah," Remus looked at the window at last &amp; saw another owl outside it, looking right back at him. It was a Tawny &amp; had a letter tied to its leg. He went to the window. "You know, you could have just invited him down your chimney." Amisi puffed up &amp; clicked her beak. Remus clicked right back at her.

"Stop it or get a room!"

Remus ignored him &amp; opened the window at last. The owl didn't come in but simply held out its leg. Remus removed a Ministry letter &amp; the owl took off immediately. He read it through before punching the frame of the window. "Merlin damn it!" He returned to the bed &amp; sat down as he handed the letter to Sirius. Remus licked his bruised knuckles while Sirius read it.

"Is this for real?" Sirius lowered his hands, putting the letter on the pillow.

Shaking his head, Remus glared at the wall for a moment. "Let's not mention this right now. Jim has enough going on at the moment. Besides," He shifted to lean back against Sirius. "We have a big day today."

Sirius wrapped his arms around him. "Do you think Jim will go through with it?"

"I'm sure he will," said Remus. "I've ...never gone back."

"Neither have I, if that helps," said Sirius. "Bella gloated about it in Azkaban though."

Remus turned in Sirius's arms to face him. "I hope she rots there." He pushed Sirius down to kiss him. Needless to say, it was rather late when they managed to get downstairs for breakfast.

An hour later, they met James in front of St. Mungo's Hospital. The three of them milled around in the lobby for a while, not speaking, until James slowly made his way to the stairwell. While it was hard for Sirius &amp; Remus to finally come here after all these years, it was nothing compared to James who had to swallow his fear of hospitals on top of it all.

James came to a stop in front of the door leading into the rooms where Frank &amp; Alice were. He stared at it, as if willing the thing to open alone, but it remained resolutely closed. Remus moved forward. "Do you want me to go first?" James only looked at him. "We don't have to do this," Remus went on. "I'm told they won't recognise us. They barely know their own son. Remember them as they were."

"Nothing is the way anything was," James finally spoke. "Not you. Not them. Certainly not me. They wouldn't recognise me if they knew me. That little Marauder everyone knew?" He was softly crying by now. "H-he died." In one swift movement, both Remus &amp; Sirius grabbed James, holding him tightly. "Long time ago," James gasped.

"We should go home," Remus stated.

"I want to see them."

"Oh bloody hell!"

The three of them stood silently for several moments. Remus put a hand on the door &amp; decided at last to just get it over with. He shoved it open &amp; led the others inside. There were several beds spaced out in the ward. Most were empty. There was a man with tails coming out of his ears, asleep in one of them. At the far end were curtains blocking off one area. Remus headed to them.

A healer came out from between the slits where the edges met. "Oh hello. Are you looking for someone?"

"Frank &amp; Alice Longbottom," Remus said. "We went to school with them."

The man looked them over. "I've never seen you before. If what you say is true, they won't—"

"We know," Remus said.

The healer still didn't move. "Usually, only their remaining family come to visit now &amp; then. Who are you?"

"Just friends, not family," Remus replied. "This is James Potter. Sirius Lupin, formerly Black &amp; I'm Remus Lupin. I was there when it happened, the one who rescued the boy Neville."

"Very well," the healer sighed &amp; turned back to the curtain. He opened it a little. "Frank, some of your friends are here." The healer disappeared into the curtained space &amp; after a moment of hesitation, Remus plunged in, followed by Sirius &amp; James. "They say they went to school with you."

Frank looked at them with sunken eyes. Alice was curled up on her bed, sleeping, her long greyed hair lying thin &amp; unkempt on the pillow. On the desk between the beds were two pictures. One of an old lady &amp; Neville, slightly younger. The other was of a platypus under water.

Remus slowly moved closer. Keeping his eyes on Frank, he pointed at the boy. "I found him then. He's ok. Neville's a good student."

"Neville," Frank repeated the name. He suddenly jumped to his feet &amp; went to the window. "Neville … Neville ..." He repeated the name under his breath for several minutes.

James watched him for a while. "Does he understand that?" he asked the healer in a low tone.

"They know Neville," the healer replied. "He &amp; his grandmother come here often. I think they know what Neville is to them but beyond that, they can't do a thing about it."

"Frank was one of the best," James said. "Top of his class. Same with Alice. They become top Aurors of Dumbledore in that First War."

"Oh I hear about it all the time," the healer replied. "The 'Favored Five' or so Madam Longbottom always tells me when she's visiting. The others were James Potter &amp; Si—oh." Realisation swept over him. "Oh! You're all here!"

Remus laughed at his reaction. "Sort of."

"My wife, Lily, was the fifth one," James said. "She's dead now. But Remus is an Auror now to."

"I heard about that. I'm sorry," the healer looked away for a moment.

"It's ok," James watched Frank as he came back to his bed. Frank jumped onto it, then bounced a few times.

"That thing," Sirius pointed at the platypus. "Jabbed my arse with both his spurs. I didn't think it was possible to feel such pain."

"You got stung by Philip?" the healer failed to hide his amusement in time. Sirius glowered at him.

"Oh that was a fun time," James smiled for a moment. Sirius smacked him over the head.

"Well it's no wonder you're all here," the healer went on.

"Is there any hope for them at all?" Remus asked.

"They were a lot worse when they first arrived," said the healer. "So much damage. Only a fraction was repaired. But it's been so many years now. I think ...it's most likely going to stay this way for a long time still."

By now, Alice had woken up. She pushed back some her out of her face, staring up at the strangers. James tried to send her a soft smile but she scooted back to the far side of her bed, got off &amp; went to Frank's bed instead. She ended up hiding behind him, peering out at the intruders.

"They know each other at least," James said.

"Only because they were brought in together &amp; we've kept them together," replied the healer. "If we had separated them, I doubt they'd remember even each other."

"I'm glad you kept them together then," said James. "They clicked since they were eleven &amp; first met on the train." He moved forward a little, watching Alice as she took in his every move. "Alice ...hi." She continued to stare at him, still using Frank as a shield. Frank merely stared at the window, unseeing. "I really hope you can find some way of fixing them," James said to the healer. He glanced back at Alice. "We have to go now. We won't forget you." James turned away &amp; led the others away. James now looked forward to the next task &amp; seeing his son again, like a relief from his twisted reality.

"Harry the task is tomorrow!" Hermione exclaimed. "Think Harry! Think! They wouldn't set up something impossible. There has to be a way."

"Hermione!" Harry shot at her. "We've been looking for ages!"

Hermione huffed &amp; set at a desk while Ron was still lost in some rows of books. They had been digging through the library for what seemed like forever, trying to come up with a way to hold one's breath for an hour under water. Frustrated, Harry suddenly slammed his book on the table &amp; got up to walk around. He glared at a book on the shelf 'Properties Of Water Plants Of Nigeria' &amp; resisted an urge to grab it &amp; throw it through the nearest window. He was going to drown in a few hours if he didn't figure this out soon. Ron asked for the riddle again. Harry repeated it, only half bothering to pay attention.

"Surely there must be something!" Hermione groaned a moment later, putting one book back &amp; grabbing another.

Harry stared out the window, watching snowflakes attempt to fall. There was something. He had thought of it before, but didn't want to bring it up. He had read about something in his father's diary. His father had been underwater all day once, more than just an hour. Unfortunately, the diary itself did not spell out the actual charm, only what it did. Something about forming a mask or protection over the head. Harry knew all he had to do was owl his father, but dreaded bringing up the topic. James had been through enough.

Oh &amp; adding the drowning of his son is like, totally a brilliant idea.

Harry hated inner voices. He turned to watch Ron as he bent over another book. Hermione stated how the whole thing was problematic &amp; Harry snapped at her. Just then, Mad Eye Moody showed up, calling Hermione &amp; Ron away. Harry watched them go, feeling a panic rise up. He was out of time. If he owled James right now, he'd get an answer in the morning. Harry hated it, but what choice did he have? He reached for a quill with some parchment &amp; was half way through writing his request, when an answer was suddenly literally handed to him. Harry took the gillyweed, burned his half-written letter &amp; went to bed, relieved he had dodged having to bring up that old diary with his father.

As he went down to the task the next day, Harry couldn't find Ron or Hermione anywhere. In fact he couldn't remember ever seeing them come into the dorms last night. James however, was standing at the gate leading up into the stands, waiting for him. "Sirius &amp; Remus are already up there," James pointed up for a moment.

Harry quickly waved at them before asking, "Have you seen Ron or Hermione?"

James shook his head. "No. I guess they're already in the stands though."

"Yeah," Harry looked at the lake. "Maybe."

James quickly grabbed Harry's shoulder. "Hey good luck. I'll see you after." Harry nodded &amp; hurried to the shore.

James made his way up through the stands, towards the Wolfstar pair. Mad Eye Moody came down the rows towards him. "Hello Sir," James grinned nervously.

Mad Eye looked at him. "Hi." He made as if to continue on his way.

James's grin faltered. Now what did he do wrong? "Is everything ok Sir?"

Mad Eye glanced at him. "Of course. Why wouldn't they be?"

"Just asking," James shrugged.

Mad Eye narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Who are you again?"

James stared at him. "Uh James Potter?"

Mad Eye glanced over him for a moment as he moved closer. "I am quite glad that despicable man has been caught. Truly I am."

James blinked. Something wasn't right but he couldn't figure it out at the moment. "Thank you sir." Mad Eye grunted &amp; went away. James took his place between Sirius &amp; Remus. He leaned towards Sirius. "Mad Eye didn't recognise me."

"Well he's old &amp; crazy," Sirius said. "It's about time he got off our case."

Remus added under breath, "He's not 'all there' either."

"Remus that's MEAN!" James burst out laughing.

"Well somebody had to say it," Remus defended, laughing as well.

"He's right though," Sirius managed to say after he finished laughing. "Come on, this is Mad Eye we're talking about. He was always mean to us."

"Yeah but there's a limit," James said, though he was still smiling. "We really shouldn't pick on disabled amputees for being that way."

"Eh, exceptions to every rule," Sirius waved it away with one hand.

James crossed his arms, shaking his head. "Idiots," he sighed. This of course, was purely interpreted as 'laugh harder' by the self-same idiots.

Picking on Mad Eye ended up being the topic for most of the Task since, as it was spent underwater, there was not much to see until Champions began surfacing with their treasures an hour later. In the end however, James had become morose &amp; silent as he watched the water with unblinking eyes. He began tapping one index finger rapidly against his knees as the minutes ticked by, yet still, Harry did not return. He barely heard any reassurances from the Wolfstar team.

James suddenly leaned forward, gazing intently at the water. A moment later, Harry finally burst forth &amp; clamoured out of the lake. James shot to his feet. "I'm going to kill him!" He left the stands &amp; ducked around Argus Filch to get to Harry.

But Ron beat him to it &amp; he was already berating Harry for taking so long &amp; worrying so much. But then he was pushed aside as Fluer began thanking Harry over &amp; over. "I-I-t's ok. I'm f-f-fine." Harry's teeth chattered as hands pushed &amp; shoved him.

James finally pushed through. "Do you have any idea how worried I was? What took you so long?"

"I—"

"An hour is an hour Harry!"

"I—"

"Not another word! Get up there &amp; get changed!" James pointed to the tent.

"I—" Harry ended up sneezing.

"Didn't you use any of the warming charms Sirius sent you?" James demanded accusingly.

"Yeah. Wore off long time ago." Harry was finally able to get a word in. James rolled his eyes shut for a moment. Looking sheepish, Harry pushed by him &amp; marched passed Hermione &amp; Viktor to get to the tent.

In spite of it all, Harry ended up in second place for the Second Task. Altogether though, his points accumulated now had him tied with Cedric for first place over all &amp; they would lead in the Final Task. Harry came out of the tent warm &amp; dry at last &amp; followed the other Champions back to the castle. James, Sirius &amp; Remus sat with him at the table in the Great Hall as they stayed for the whole day. In the evening, the four of them decided to head outside to the old familiar beech tree but by the time they had crossed the Stone Bridge, James had disappeared.

"Harry, get out the Map," Sirius said.

"Uh ..."

Sirius looked at him. "Oh we'll wait if you have to go get it."

"Um," Harry gulped before explaining. He had temporarily left it with Mad Eye in exchange for being hidden from Snape.

The Wolfstar team glared at Harry for a long time. "You gave our Map," Remus began in that low dangerous voice that meant trouble. "To an outsider?"

"No not give. Just borrow. He'll give it back."

"Mad Eye was a top Auror. He'd love having something like that," Sirius said. "You will NEVER see that Map again!"

"How could you do that, Harry?" Remus growled.

"Don't growl at your Alpha," Harry muttered, knowing it was a feeble attempt.

Remus scoffed. "Actually Harry, for this, I'm sorry but we have no choice but to banish you!"

"Hey that's for not taking a dare!"

"Well we have no punishment for giving out our beloved Map since we didn't think anyone was dumb enough to do that, so it'll have to do!" Sirius glared, meeting Harry's eyes.

"You can't do that! I'm the Alpha." Sirius &amp; Remus both took a step towards Harry. "Go away. Stop looking at me like th—HAAALLLP!" Harry turned to run but he was grabbed by both men, hauled off his feet by the collar &amp; then tipped head first over the rock wall into the frozen fountain. The ice broke &amp; Harry was once more soaked &amp; freezing.

"We said," Sirius repeated. "You're banished!"

"YES!" Remus whooped, pulling both arms down as he curled his hands into fists. "I get my Alpha rank back!"

Sirius clapped his hands as if dusting them off. "You know I like it when you're my Alpha." He took Remus into his arms, pressing their bodies together, as they had a battle of French kissing.

"Um hello?" Harry stared at them. Remus put his hands over Sirius's arse &amp; crushed them together even more if that were possible. Fleetingly, Harry imagined James in place of Remus, knowing full well he most likely did this exact same thing with Sirius anyway. "Guys! Really! There are children around!"

It took a few moments longer, but the pair finally pulled apart. Sirius winked at Harry. "Mhm! Later gator!" He took Remus's hand &amp; led him back to the castle.

"OHH!" Harry floundered about in the icy water, trying to avoid getting cut on the sharp edges of ice. Harry had a sudden understanding of how his father sometimes felt &amp; decided to hate everybody until he got out of this fix. He lost the Alpha rank. He was banished! He stopped struggling for a moment to collect himself, then he put both hands on the edge &amp; hauled himself over. He slithered forward almost like a snake to get out of the fountain. "Especially werewolves!" Harry muttered aloud under breath as he got up &amp; wrapped his arms around himself. Or perhaps hate just that one particular stupid werewolf. Shivering, he stalked back into the castle. Maybe, if he could find James, he could ask his father if he really was banished, hoping that it would take a vote of three out of four to banish one. James didn't get any say here so most likely, Sirius &amp; Remus were just being stupid (as opposed to when they weren't being stupid?) &amp; couldn't banish him ...or take back the Alpha rank for that matter. Out of sorts, Harry thrust the doors open, hoping James would be around sooner than later.

James had been patrolling around the castle as Prongs, looking for Mad Eye Moody. After a long search, he finally found the old codger in the farthest cloisters that were near the greenhouse. Prongs stepped into the clearing &amp; sniffed the ground, pretending to look for a shallow spot in the hard snow to graze.

"WHO'S THERE?" Mad Eye whipped around, wand out. The stag raised his head &amp; stepped back, acting wild. "Well aren't you the handsome thing?" Mad Eye said, though he didn't lower his wand. Prongs decided to act more wild &amp; backed up further still. "Shouldn't you be in the forest?"

Prongs turned sideways &amp; stuck his tail up, as if signalling distress. Mad Eye finally lowered his wand. Prongs half bolted forward, just for effect. Mad Eye glanced around, then took out his flask &amp; began drinking from it. "I ain't going to hurt you. But you really got yourself lost out here. Dumb thing really. You can find your way in easily enough but not out."

Prongs huffed indignantly. Mad Eye took another swig then put his flask away. He began to walk away, but turned back to look Prongs over. "What did you do to your antlers? Got into a fight perhaps? Probably why you're here. Got driven out."

Mad Eye took out his wand &amp; with a quick flick, the antlers were regrown. It was with great effort, Prongs didn't roll his eyes or sigh in annoyance. Now he had all that velvet to deal with once it appeared. He thought that perhaps he should act startled with the bolt of magic, but the moment had come &amp; gone while he was too busy mentally cursing Mad Eye. Prongs bobbed his head up &amp; down before turning to show the tail, still stuck up.

"Well now," Mad Eye kept his distance as he slowly walked around the stag. "You're antlers are bigger than I expected. If you got driven out, I'd hate to meet your enemy."

Pretending to be bored, Prongs went back to pawing at snow for grass. Another flick of his wand &amp; the snow was cleared down to the hard grass. Truly startled, Prongs bounded across the clearing before glancing back.

Mad Eye watched the stag for a moment. "People don't realise how many enemies they have. Take Harry Potter for example." The stag raised his head, turning both ears forward. "That boy has more enemies than he can ever imagine."

Prongs returned the gaze without blinking. What Mad Eye had said was certainly true, but it was how he said it, almost gloating. Mad Eye suddenly raised his wand again &amp; it was only the quick Auror instincts James was trained for that saved him. Prongs scuttled away into the twists &amp; turns of the cloisters. In the corner of his eye he saw a bright green light illuminate the wall as he passed, barely seconds in time. He heard Mad Eye swear about missing &amp; getting old as he slowed down in a dark passage &amp; shifted back to James.

Heart pounding hard, James slipped down the wall to sit against it on the ground. He had never cared for Mad Eye despite how great an Auror he was. Both he &amp; Sirius had always been at odds with the horrid loon, made worse with that creepy all-seeing eye of his. It was because of this that part of James reasoned that he was over-reaching. It's just stupid old Mad Eye who really isn't all there, truth be told. Mad Eye was the best Auror that ever lived. Yet James still felt something was wrong. Dumbledore trusted Mad Eye with his very life ... but the same went for Snape. Why Snape?

James stood up, telling himself to stop thinking before he started distrusting Dumbledore on top of it all. He meandered back towards the main doors of the castle, deciding to not tell anyone that Mad Eye had almost succeeded in killing him without meaning to. It would only cause alarm everywhere.

"D-Dad!"

James walked smack right into Harry. "Sorry. Didn't see you. Why are you all wet?"

Harry gritted his teeth against the cold. "Sirius &amp; Remus threw me into the frozen fountain." James just laughed at him. Harry waited for him to shut up before asking, "By the way, just curious, but how does banishment work?"

"You're not going to banish those two for tossing you into a fountain," James replied. "That's just f—"

"For dares, yes I know," Harry cut in. "I'm not planning that. I just want to know. We hardly get to talk. So do you need just two votes or three or what?"

James fell hard for the sympathy card. "The Marauders Guild is usually four, though we were starting to count your Mum as well. She wanted to learn Animagic after the war &amp; picked the Ariel route. She would have been some sort of bird. But, well we never got around to it. Anyway, you need at least three votes or it won't work. Sirius, you &amp; I can banish Remus. Or Peter, Remus &amp; I can banish Sirius or you."

"So as long as there's at least three, Peter doesn't have to be here?"

"Nope," James shook his head. "He would just count as an extra vote. Once you have three votes, it doesn't matter which three as the other two are beaten."

"Ok," Harry gasped. "Good. So I'm not banished then."

"YOU?" James gaped at him, then burst out laughing. "Good grief who would banish you anyway?"

"I—"

"Prongs!" Sirius came running up to them with Remus close behind. "That idiot!" He pointed at Harry who glared right back. "Gave our Map to Mad Eye Moody!" Remus was nodding vigorously.

James stared at them, then whirled on Harry who rolled his eyes. "Oh you are so banished. For life! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

"It isn't a dare! You can't get rid of me &amp; I did NOT give the Map."

"I don't care if it isn't a dare Harry," James snarled. "You don't give our stuff some coot!"

"I DIDN'T!" Harry shouted back.

"Oh? Well in that case," James turned back to Sirius &amp; Remus who launched into a tirade of what had just happened.

"I LENT IT IS ALL!" Harry finally managed to say. He tried to explain but James cut him off.

"That's the same damn thing!" James exclaimed. "Harry, Mad Eye is an Auror. He'd love something like that. He'll never give it back. Especially since he hates Sirius &amp; I. You've lost it, Harry. You will never see that Map again! Life ban. Sorry. But there's three votes! You're out!"

"If I get it back," Harry tried again.

"That's a really big if Harold James!" James glared at him, then pushed passed Sirius &amp; Remus. "I can't even look at you right now!" James stuck his nose in the air as he marched away.

"Good job idiot!" Sirius shoved Harry away before following.

"If I was wild I'd eat him," Remus punched Harry's shoulder hard enough to hurt as he to left.

"Blimey Moony," Harry groaned, rubbing his shoulder as he stared at their retreating backs.


	58. Chapter 58

**(58) The Unexpected Trial**

The next day, Harry arrived last at breakfast &amp; saw the three Marauders sitting together next to Ron &amp; Hermione. James &amp; Hermione were talking over the Daily Prophet as Harry quietly sat down across from them, next to Sirius &amp; Remus.

"Well," Sirius said loudly, crumpling up his napkin &amp; tossing it beside his plate. "It's time we headed back." Looking directly at James, he stood up the same time as Remus.

James stood up as well. To Harry's complete &amp; utter horror, James took Hermione's hand into his own &amp; patted it affectionately. Hermione could do nothing but blush as James said, "Sorry to leave this lovely lady hanging but I really should get going." He let her go as he turned away, purposely avoiding Harry. "Padfoot. Moony. Shall we?" He led the others to the door.

"Oh come on!" Harry whined but they didn't even look at him &amp; the door closed with a louder bang than usual.

"The hell was that?" Ron demanded of Harry.

"I'm going straight to Moody," Harry finished after he explained. Ron was scowling but Hermione had hidden her face behind the Daily Prophet in an epic failure to hide her laughter. Harry threw his toast at her paper. She lowered it barely enough to expose shining eyes. "Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me of something." He got up &amp; without further explanation, he left. Harry entered the Owlery half an hour later &amp; called Hedwig down. "This is for Dad." He brought her to the window &amp; she took off into the rising sun.

James was currently sitting on the couch in Sirius &amp; Remus's home as the Woflstair pair milled around, trying to find some way to tell him about the letter they had received from the Ministry.

"Jim, the next trial is next week," Remus began.

"Ok," James sighed. "That's good."

Remus &amp; Sirius shared a look. Sirius shook his head &amp; sat on the coffee table in front of James. "No it isn't."

"Why not?"

"Because um," Remus ran his hand through his hair. "Well ...you see."

"You're the one on trial," Sirius finally gave up.

"ME?" James sat up straight. "What? Why? By who?"

"Assault &amp; battery. Premeditated &amp; attempted murder," Sirius began. "Me to, actually."

"Orion?" James snarled. Sirius nodded.

"He can't gain anything by it," Remus said. "You're not even being arrested or anything. Fudge says he'll run it as you two simply giving a testimony. I don't know what Orion thinks he can do with this. He's got nothing."

"Let me do most of the talking," Sirius tried. James shrugged but remained silent. Sirius stared at him but James stared defiantly back. After nearly a minute, Sirius snapped, "Dammit Jim! What is going on?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie."

"I'm not."

"You are."

"Prove it."

"What?" Sirius blinked, surprised.

James scoffed at him. "Idiot."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm just goofing off."

"No you're not!"

"Well excuse me for trying to lighten the mood."

"JAMES STOP DRIVING ME CRAZY!" Sirius screeched. "THIS IS NO TIME TO PLAY AROUND!"

"I thought it was a good time," James pouted nonchalantly.

Sirius made as if to reach for James's neck but Remus intervened. "Now gentlemen. Really."

"He's driving me mad!"

"He drives us both mad," Remus said as he sat down by James.

Sirius sighed heavily. He glared at James, trying to understand what was going on in that antlered head of his. He shook his head again &amp; was about to speak but Remus shushed him. /Be gentle./

/Moony! Don't you get it? He's hiding something!/

/You think I don't see it?/ Remus shot at him. /You can't force it out of him. James has had enough force in his life to last him for eternity! DROP THE SUBJECT!/

/But—/

Remus slammed the coffee table with the palm of his hand so hard that its glass top shattered. Sirius fell to the floor &amp; stared up at Remus but was met with a red spotted amber glare. James jumped in his seat, looking in shock at Remus.

"Sorry Prongs," Moony spoke in his altered voice. "Inner conversation."

Sirius slowly picked himself up &amp; repaired the table. He turned back to the couch &amp; with great effort, changed the subject. "Ugh. I think I have glass in my ass."

"It'll be my pleasure to remove it later," Remus now spoke normally but was still glaring gold.

"GUYS!" James shrieked. "I'm sitting right here."

"Fine, you can help!" Sirius grumbled.

Remus snapped his fingers as he pointed to the archway leading into the hall. "Get out of here!" Sirius huffed but left without another word. Remus sighed, leaning back against the arm of the couch. "Sorry about him."

"He hasn't changed much."

"He shouldn't be after you like that," Remus said. "He's worried for you. We both are."

"I'm doing much better than I was last year," James tried to console him.

Remus stretched, then sat up. He leaned against James, putting both hands onto James's left bicep &amp; began kneading. He growled softly. James looked down at the massaging fingers, then smacked them. "Go away. I don't have any chocolate at the moment."

Remus sat back, insulted. "Fine pack-mate you are."

"Sorry," James teased. Remus suddenly leaned forward &amp; James was quickly relieved of his glasses. "UGH!" James pressed both hands to his left eye. "My eyeball!" After rubbing it, he glared at Remus as best possible. "This is why people hate you guys! Stupid werewolf!"

"I'm not the one missing my glasses," Remus taunted.

"You don't need glasses," James scowled. "You have ten times the sight of an eagle." Remus stuck his tongue out.

"Jim?"

Both James &amp; Remus shot Sirius a glare. Sirius came in, yanked the glasses out of Remus's mouth, ignoring the growl &amp; held them out along with a letter. "Hedwig just dropped this off."

James snatched everything from Sirius's outstretched hand &amp; after wiping off his glasses before putting them on, he opened the letter without a word. Still glaring at Sirius, Remus started clicking loudly.

"SHUT UP!" James &amp; Sirius both demanded. James read the letter silently to himself.

_Quit flirting with Hermione or risk Ron's wrath! Besides, she's much too young for an old ugly geezer such as yourself._

_~Love, Harry_

"Old ugly geezer," James grumbled. "I'll kill him later." He tried to stuff the letter away but Remus stole it. "Hey HEY!" Remus held it away &amp; read it out loud. Both he &amp; Sirius burst out laughing.

"Were you really flirting with her?" Remus finally asked.

"Yes on purpose," James said. "In front of Harry. I was hoping to irritate him. I thought he liked her?"

"No he doesn't have anyone yet," Remus said. "Though I didn't think Ron &amp; Hermione were together either. That's new to me."

James shrugged it off. "Oh well. I tried. It still made him mad though." He stood up, grabbing his coat. "I'll have to prepare for this ridiculous trial of ours. See ya later." At that, he apparated on the spot.

Sirius stared at the spot for a long time before saying, "I had assumed we were going to prepare together." Remus actually sneered at him. "Well we're both on trial for the same thing &amp; Fudge said we're going together." Remus rolled his eyes, blaming Sirius for the fact that James now wanted to do this alone. Sirius however, was more certain than before that they were missing a giant piece of the puzzle. "I just wish I knew what was going on," Sirius finished helplessly.

Finally taking pity on him, Remus took Sirius's hand &amp; pulled him to sit beside him. "I know you're worrying about him. So am I. But you can't keep going after him like you are or you'll just end up driving him away completely." Sirius rested his head on Remus's shoulder. Remus soon felt dampness. He put a hand under Sirius's chin &amp; lifted him up to find tears in his eyes. "Come here," Remus leaned in to kiss Sirius. "If you really love him as much as I know you do, then let him be. We have to stick together ok? Jim will come to us when he's ready."

"Ray I can't take much more of it," Sirius spoke quickly, almost in a panic. "You're better with him than I am now. Can you talk to him?"

"What did I just say?"

"You can try, can't you?" Sirius pleaded. "It's tearing me apart. I don't know what to do anymore! I've lost my touch with James a long time ago. You've always been better at stuff like this than I am anyway."

Remus sighed heavily. "I won't make any promises. If I see he's catching on, I'll stop. Don't expect anything. Understand?" In reply, all Sirius could do was cry. Remus cast a pitying look over his mate. "First things first," he said softly, pushing Sirius down.

Remus had his way with Sirius right there on the couch; though, it was not hard play. He was gentle this time, trying to comfort Sirius. They soon ended up on the floor, lying in each other's arms, half an hour later (which was rather short for them). Remus had one arm draped protectively across Sirius's chest.

Remus soon pushed himself up until he was kneeling by Sirius's side. He looked down over his mate, his eyes catching the Grim tattoo running around. He followed her until she disappeared, then looked into pale grey eyes. "Why don't you stay here &amp; rest up while I go get the forms for this trial?" Sirius nodded slightly. Remus leaned over &amp; gave him a short kiss before getting dressed &amp; apparating to the Ministry.

Sirius stared at the ceiling for a few more minutes. With Remus gone &amp; the effects of their recent antics wearing off, he was once more slipping into dark moody thoughts of James. Just what was that Stag hiding anyway? He worried that he couldn't find any way to help James anymore &amp; all he was doing was slowly pushing James away. That was the last thing Sirius wanted but what else could he do? Playing the waiting game just wasn't his style.

Suddenly, Sirius had his answer. It had come to him like a bolt of lightening. He sat up sharply, shutting Remus out completely, knowing he'd be in trouble if Remus caught on. Sirius got dressed but not using his regular robes. He headed upstairs &amp; got out his Auror's uniform. Just as James had once done so many years ago, Sirius now dressed for a similar mission.

Remus was right. It was no good hounding James. But Sirius now realised he didn't need James. He apparated to the ocean's shoreline &amp; went down to a hidden boat only those of magic could see &amp; use. But once standing by the boat, Sirius froze. He had never planned to go back there, certainly not alone. Though he couldn't see the fortress, he looked out across the waves in its direction. He was going back. Back to the cold, back to the stone walls, back to the swarm.

What the hell was he thinking? Sirius sat in the boat but didn't allow it to move. Would the Dementors recognise him? What would they do? Knowing he had a short window of time before Remus returned home looking for him, Sirius forced himself to get the boat moving. He had to go back there for James. At least that's what he told himself.

Though Azkaban was miles out, the boat was enchanted to move quickly if needed &amp; Sirius soon found himself for the second time in his life, standing on the stony ground before the great iron doors of the prison. Only this time, he was here on his own, not by a large crowd of Aurors holding him down to drag him unwillingly inside.

Sirius pulled out his Auror's license &amp; held it up as he moved in, wondering if this would work. He could see the beasts floating all around what had been his home for twelve years. Sirius tried not to look directly at the two guards by the main gate as he approached holding his card up. Looking ahead through the bars, he said quickly, "Orion Black's cell."

The two Dementors opened the doors &amp; Sirius slowly stepped inside. A third Dementor floated towards him. The doors banged closed behind him. Losing all senses, Sirius gasped &amp; turned sharply to find himself locked in once more. Too late, he realised the mistake he made. His panic had attracted more Dementors than he needed. They swooped around him, sucking at him.

Sirius dropped the Auror's license as he tried to pull out his wand &amp; back away. He ended up pressed against the wall. "No. NO! I am innocent! I'm here to visit someone!"

The Dementors pressed in closer as Sirius collapsed to his knees. "Oh Moony. I'm so sorry!" The link with Remus burst open.

"AH!" Remus dropped what he had in his hands &amp; pressed his fingers to his forehead. He fell to the floor as others clustered around him. "Sudden migraine!" Remus gasped through clenched teeth.

Someone noticed the more pointed fangs. "Get back! That's a werewolf!"

Remus barely heard as horrid visions flooded into him. He felt hands on his face, petting back his bangs. "It's ok. I know him. He's friendly."

"Are you crazy?" A man's voice shouted. "Tonks get away from that thing!"

"SHUT UP!" Tonks shouted right back. "Remus remember me? Sirius's niece."

Remus sat up, still holding his head in his hands. "Mhm."

"What's wrong?"

Remus snarled out a slew of rather horrible words to describe his idiotic husband. He locked eyes with Tonks who was looking at him, half amused. _"Desole (Sorry)."_

"What?"

"Uh French for sorry. Didn't mean to swear in front of a girl." Tonks laughed at him. "Ugh I'm going to murder Sirius." Remus stood up. "Tonks, can you take care of these for a bit? I have to go." He indicated the forms he had just dropped.

"Ok," Tonks started picking up the parchments. "Don't go to hard on him please."

"Ha ha, you have no idea," Remus muttered, turning on the spot.

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" Sirius sent his Patronus into the midst. The opening link had forged a connection that allowed him to produce his best Patronus yet. Dementors were thrown in all directions. Sirius raised his hand, summoning his Patronus back, then glared at the Dementors. "I said, I'm here to visit Orion Black. Then I'm leaving. I am an Auror. Any of that not understandable?" He snatched up the card. "One of you," he swung his wand around &amp; his Patronus followed. "is going to take me to Orion Black's cell."

One Dementor pointed up a certain set of stairs. Sirius shoved his Patronus to it, making the creature glide quickly upwards in an attempt to get away from its shining light. Sirius had to run to keep up. As they got deeper into the prison, Sirius heard others calling out to him.

"How'd you do it? How'd you escape?"

"Welcome back pal," drawled a sinister voice. "Miss us?"

"What idiot comes back to this place after they escape?"

Sirius ignored them as he focused on keeping up with his Dementor &amp; Patronus. It seemed like they went upwards forever, but at last the Dementor moved onto a floor towards one particular cell. Sirius bent over to catch the breath that he would end up losing when he began yelling at Orion.

Sirius summoned his Patronus back to his hand, then flashed his card. "Open it!" Once the door was opened, Sirius marched inside. The Patronus bounded in after him, then fizzled out at last.

Orion was standing against the back wall, arms crossed &amp; looking ahead. Sirius came right into his view. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?" Orion stared in surprise.

Sirius swung his right fist which connected a split second later to Orion's face. Orion clasped his jaw. "That was for James!" Sirius shook his hand.

"Then that was pretty pathetic."

"DAMN YOU!" Sirius grabbed Orion by the collar &amp; slammed him against the wall. "What did you do to him?" He gasped through tears. "Why can't you leave him alone?"

Sirius felt hands on his shoulders but he struggled against them as he was dragged back to halfway across the room. Orion waved his hand towards the floor. "You crossed a line."

"Wait until these creatures let go of me," Sirius threatened as he stopped fighting them. "I'll cross it again!"

Orion scoffed. "I wasn't even referring to the line on the floor."

Sirius fell to his knees, arms spread out. "Talk to me of James! Please!"

"I have nothing to say to you," Orion turned to his bed as if that settled the matter.

"You like to see me hurt," Sirius shot at him. "Whatever you did to him would hurt me, so just tell me!"

"No," Orion cast him a smile. "You want it. So I won't give it to you."

"So you did do something!" Sirius exclaimed. "What would you have me do to set him completely free?"

Orion laughed again. "You don't get it. It's nothing I can do. James &amp; I have played games with each other for ages. It's old habit. He'll cave eventually. He always does."

"Why would he?"

"I don't know," Orion shrugged.

"LIAR!" Sirius bellowed. "When I find out what you did, I'll really make you miserable."

"Go ahead &amp; try!"

"Just you wait until your sentence is carried out!"

"What sentence might that be?" Orion taunted. "I don't even have one yet."

"Everyone knows that the Kiss is handed out to predators like you."

"A predator am I? Not the prey?" Orion teased. "How much has James done to me eh? It works both ways."

Sirius stepped across the line &amp; punched Orion again. The Dementors hauled him off. "If you think you're getting out of here, you're crazy."

"Unlike some people, I have yet to even think of trying to escape," Orion shrugged.

Sirius stared at him. "You think you'll be acquitted? How is that even remotely possible? I saw what you did to him! They gave you Veritaserum! You admitted everything!"

"Veritaserum is not a fool hardy potion, Sirius," Orion began. "You as an Auror should know that some people can lie under Veritaserum if they have the antidote first, or on the other hand what they say is really true but they are just playing games, like James &amp; I. We've been doing this for years."

"If they don't give you to the Dementors after these trials I will kill you myself," Sirius snarled.

"Right, that's another death threat," Orion glared. "Do you not think things through? Just by being here without anyone present can jeopardize your case. I don't even have my Auror present at the moment. I'm just going to tell him you showed up &amp; threatened me with death, not for the first time either. Do you not see how bad this is looking?"

"I couldn't agree more!" Remus ran into the cell &amp; punched Sirius so hard he fell over. "And that makes me sick! Agreeing with the likes of you!" He glared first at Orion then at his mate. "Get up!" Without waiting for Sirius to do it himself, Remus grabbed the collar &amp; yanked him to his feet, then shoved him out of the cell. He slammed the door closed behind him.

Remus brought Sirius home. He slammed the door, shoved Sirius hard into the living room, then stomped upstairs. Sirius tried to follow but Remus turned at the top of the stairs to look down on him. He pointed down to the floor below &amp; said in a quavering voice. "Stay!"

Sirius waited. He heard thudding, swearing in French, more swearing in English, more thudding, then Remus appeared at the top of the stairs once more, carrying a large bundle in his hands. Sirius hardly had time to see what it was before Remus threw it down over his head. It was a blanket &amp; two pillows. "You're couched indefinitely! Good night."

"Remus—!"

"I SAID GOOD NIGHT!" Remus turned &amp; Sirius heard the door to their bedroom slam.

Sirius gasped in a breath. /Remus? Please!/ Dead space was the reply. /Ray ... Ray talk to me./ He waited for an answer but was treated with only silence. /I'm sorry. Ray ...Remus I love y—/ The link snapped shut. There was nothing to do but bed down on the couch &amp; wait for Remus to come to his senses.

Remus did not "come to his senses" any time soon. He banged about the kitchen, startling Sirius out of a poor sleep to begin with. He slammed Sirius's plate down so hard in front of him that some eggs slipped off. He didn't speak a word &amp; if Sirius tried, Remus put up his hand &amp; looked away. The link remained resolutely closed.

James showed up not long after breakfast &amp; it was only then that Remus would speak to Sirius, but only in a business like way when they started to build their case for James &amp; Sirius. The link never once opened. Sensing tension, James asked once if everything was ok but was answered with a blank look from both of them. James shrugged &amp; bent over their forms again but kept a wary eye on the Wolfstar pair. It was quite clear that something was wrong. James left early, feeling out of sorts. The "radiant joy" oozing from Sirius &amp; Remus was enough to drive one to drink. He kept away for two days just to be on the safe side.

On the third night on the couch, Sirius didn't even try to sleep. He had thought Remus would have gotten over it by now but he had yet to feel their mental bond from him. By almost two in the morning, Sirius had enough &amp; marched upstairs. He tried opening the door but it was locked &amp; not even his magic could open it. Sirius knocked on the door. When he was answered with nothing but more silence, he pressed his ear against it.

"Remus, please! Don't you think this is enough now?" Sirius sighed, then in frustration, he punched the door. "REMUS! This is just as bad between us as when Voldemort went after James &amp; Lily back in '81! Please talk to me!"

After a moment, the door was wrenched open. "No this is not like Voldemort at all. You know why it isn't like Voldemort? Because you really are that fucking guilty! THAT'S WHY! There! I talked to you. Satisfied?" Remus turned &amp; slammed the door once more.

Sirius tried getting through the door again but he was still blocked. "That does it!" He turned &amp; marched down stairs. He soon left the house.

Fuming, Remus sat on the bed glaring at the door. Fact was, he had so much to say to Sirius but was too angry to form the words. Though he wasn't quite as angry as he was scared. He had felt the sucking through their link. He had felt how a Dementor had actually gone for Sirius's soul. He had been terrified he would never make it in time to save him. What would he do if a Dementor had gotten to Sirius? Remus was still shaking from the feeling of soul sucking. Sirius was part of his own soul. The pain of feeling that piece even start to rip out of him still haunted him. On top of it all, Orion was right. Sirius's antics could cast shadows on the trials. "Idiot!" Remus burst into tears for the umpteenth time. "Bloody idiot!" He never wanted to feel the touch of a Dementor again &amp; he never wanted to see Orion again either, but knew the last part was not possible. He fell into another nightmarish sleep of Dementors ripping them apart.

Remus jerked awake to something that sounded like a chainsaw near by. He blinked hard, trying to get sleep out of his eyes as he glanced around. Wait a minute. There really was a chainsaw near by. He looked at the bedroom door before gasping in shock. The rounded whizzing point of one was coming through the wall just beyond the line of the magic shield he had put up. It went up one side over the top &amp; down another. Mouth agape, Remus stared as he held his wand. There was a hollow booming sound &amp; then that wall with the door fell flat. Sirius stepped in, holding a large chainsaw in one hand. He shut it off.

"You forget who you're married to," Sirius put the thing aside. "I'm more muggle than magic. It's unconventional perhaps, but I know ways of getting around magic." He stepped over the rubble, heading for Remus. "No more division between us. That's what destroyed us last time."

Remus glanced at the rubble, the chainsaw on the floor nearby, then Sirius. "You put a chain…good grief! You put a chainsaw through the door! How in the hell?"

Sirius threw himself on the bed. "Enough of this! Talk to me. NOW!"

"You put a chainsaw through the door. It's two in the morning you blithering idiot!" Remus was still gaping.

Sirius took advantage of that &amp; kissed him. He pushed Remus down, pinning him to the bed. "Whatever works, right?" He winked. "Now what do you say about fixing this, hmm?"

Remus shoved hard, using his werewolf strength to throw Sirius down to the foot of the bed. "I can't believe you did that!" He stared at the pile of rubble again. Sirius waited for several minutes but at last, Remus finally gave him a piece of his mind.

James finally dared to return later that morning. He let himself in, expecting to find the pair in the kitchen. But when he didn't find them there, he began wandering through the house looking for them. Glancing up the stairs, he noticed the hallway was rather well lit up &amp; there seemed to be some white rocks strewn about. He went up to find the bedroom now had no wall &amp; was open to the hallway. He saw the chainsaw on the rubble on one side.

"Are you guys renovating?" James asked, glancing around the bedroom, thinking they were standing nearby.

Sirius &amp; Remus sharply sat up on the bed. They were both naked &amp; on top of the covers. "Uh ….hi?"

"WHOA!" James turned quickly away from them. "Oh oh! Okay! I'm going to go down stairs now &amp; wait." At that, he switched to Prongs, twisted his head to angle his horns properly &amp; cleared the flight of stairs in one bound.

Sirius &amp; Remus shared a frantic look before scrambling to get their clothes on &amp; go after him. They both came into the living room so solemnly that someone must have died. They feared that the sight may have scared James &amp; both were ready with assurances that they would never hurt him. James however looked up at them with a rather bemused expression. "It's about time you two made up. Can we continue now?"

"Jim we—"

James put up a hand. "Spare me. I don't want details. Seeing that contraption was enough. Some sort of sex toy for players like you I guess."

Remus gasped in horror. "NO NO! It's a chain—"

Again James put up his hand. "I really don't need to know. I know how you two play. That's enough for me." He smiled at them both &amp; looked about ready to burst out laughing.

"It's a chainsaw!" Remus tried again. "For tree cutting."

James now looked annoyed. "Ray, I don't really need to know you're going Jewish &amp; getting circumcised."

"WHAT? NO! THAT ISN'T—OH MY GOD YOU'RE AN IDIOT!" Remus tried to explain again, face redder than a beet.

"Leave it Moony," Sirius interjected. "The more you explain, the more twisted it's becoming."

James looked them both over, smirking again. Remus resisted every last urge to launch Moony at his throat. Face still red, he finally sat down &amp; shut up. They worked on their case as best possible. James laughing randomly under breath irritated Remus but Sirius took it in stride.

When the time came to go to the Ministry for their hearing, James soon fell back into his silent self. This time, he was led onto the floor alongside Sirius to face the entire Wizengamot. There were two chairs but no chains or cages. Remus stood behind them as they sat down.

Fudge stood up &amp; addressed the court. "We are here today to answer some charges brought against James Potter &amp; Sirius Lupin. The accuser is Orion Black." He picked up a roll of parchment. "The charges are: James Potter, you are accused of pre-meditated murder. Attempted murder. Assault &amp; battery. Sirius Lupin, you are accused of pre-meditated murder &amp; being an accomplice to James Potter for the rest of his charges. We have all heard Orion's story &amp; while he is not here in this room, he is being held nearby where he can hear this. We did not think it wise to have him on the floor with you."

"Thank you sir."

"As for these charges, have either of you anything to say?"

"Yes, this is ridiculous," James began. "It was self defence."

"How so?"

"Orion raped me when I was 16 &amp; nearly killed me," James said. "But he didn't stop there. He made moves on me in front of my parents once. He assaulted me again &amp; crucified me." He rolled up his sleeves. "I think I can present these round scars as evidence." He let them have a good look. "He drove me to suicide &amp; if you have one come down here to see, I can still show you the two deeper scars where I tried to cut myself enough to die. The other scars are from becoming a cutter when death wouldn't take me."

Fudge took a moment to collect himself after seeing the scarring again. "Very well. I have the report of Orion Black &amp; his permission to read from it. 'My nephew, James Potter, is a stubborn, arrogant, mischievous man who aims to misbehave whenever he can. A simple look at his school records for even one of his years can tell you the trouble he's worth. He once admitted to me that he had made plans to murder me &amp; at another time, he added that Sirius not only knew of his plans but had agreed to help. They both beat me nearly to death. James crucified me to the ground. I had become unconscious, put into a grave &amp; left to die. Fortunately my younger son found me &amp; managed to wake me up enough so I could heal some of my own lesser wounds then go to St. Mungo's."

Sirius leaned over to James to whisper, "Jim ...did Orion have a scar made of letters across his chest when he found you again?" James shook his head. "That explains why no one else seemed to know what he really did then."

"Was your attempted murder premeditated?" Fudge asked, making Sirius sit straight once more.

"Yes," Sirius spoke up. "We both knew Orion was threatening Jim again &amp; again. He wouldn't stop. I had to protect James any way I could."

"Is that why you helped try to kill Orion?"

"Absolutely!" Sirius declared proudly.

"It was self defence," James repeated. "We both knew he was stalking me so we prepared for his next attack."

Fudge shuffled some parchments, looking one over. "I have the report here of James Potter. He says: Orion has tried to hurt Sirius any way he could but when Sirius got used to the beatings, Orion went after me. Sirius &amp; I had been friends since day one &amp; I was used by Orion as a weapon against Sirius. He would never stop hurting me, knowing it would wound Sirius to the core like nothing else would. I had no choice but to protect us both from him."

Fudge picked up another parchment, "This one is by Sirius Lupin. It says similar things but adds that Orion would use Crucio as punishment on both his sons but mostly Sirius. We have had trials recently about that which any of you can cross reference. We will have a short recess while we wait."

A short recess lasted about fifteen minutes &amp; Remus took that time to speak to his subjects. "There is something coming." He glanced at James. "Jim, Sirius did something that will have repercussions in this trial."

"What?"

"Do we have to?" Sirius looked at Remus.

"It's going to come out one way or the other," Remus shot a glare at him. "As your Auror, I've had the privilege to see the final reports before going into trial." He sighed heavily. "Jim, um ..."

"Wait, I'll tell him," Sirius paused before saying. "I ...I went ...to see Orion."

"What?" James gasped. "Why?"

"I wanted to find out what he was planning," Sirius said. "I wanted him to tell me exactly what he did to you. I wanted to hurt him so much!"

James looked up at Remus. "Is that what you two were fighting about?"

Remus nodded. "A Dementor nearly kissed him. I felt the soul tearing through our link. It hurt like hell &amp; terrified me, so I shut him out until I could calm down. But then he cut into our room with a chainsaw, which is a muggle thing for trees by the way you big fat jerk... &amp; …well you saw what happened next." He grinned sheepishly.

"A Dementor nearly—Sirius!" James stared at him. "I can't believe you'd go back there! But how would that affect this?"

Before Remus could answer, Fudge called for attention once more. "We have verified the reports of the first trials."

James tugged on Remus's sleeve. He whispered, "Do you really think I'm fat? I thought I was under-weight."

"You are as Prongs."

"Oh him," James turned is attention back to Fudge. "That's Lily's fault."

"...This will be filed for future reference when all trials pertaining to these incidents involving James Potter, Orion Black &amp; Sirius Lupin are concluded. There is however some recent information. Mr. Lupin? Sirius I mean."

"Yes?"

"Is it true that you recently returned to Azkaban to meet with Orion Black?"

"Yes."

"According to Orion's report, you physically attacked him twice by willingly crossing the forbidden line. You also threatened to kill him if he was not sentenced to a Kiss. Is this true?"

Sirius glared at the floor as James leaned over. "You bloody idiot!"

"Yes," Sirius snarled out at last. "Can you blame me?" He added pathetically.

"We shall see," Fudge replied. "This trial is adjourned until sentencing later. Dismissed."

Remus led the other two out &amp; they took an elevator back to the atrium. It was just the three of them using the lift. Sirius finally got up the nerve to speak. "Jim I—"

"Stop talking to me, Padfoot!" James glared at him. "How stupid can you get? You stay away from Orion. Do we understand each other?"

"I only wan—"

"I SAID SHUT UP!" James bellowed at him, then turned resolutely away. The lift clanged to a stop but no one moved.

"Jim is right," Remus finally dared to speak. "Don't go back there. Not only to stay away from Orion, but also the Dementors. They've had you in their clutches for twelve years. They would love to have you back regardless of your innocence." He opened the door. "Sirius, this is your last chance. I don't think you'll be sent back to Azkaban right now but if you put another toe out of line, we could lose you. Don't do anything stupid!"

"Orion has a habit of turning things around to make it look like he's the victim," James spoke again. "You go there again, you'll ruin everything."

"I hate him," Sirius said.

James managed to look at him. "Oh &amp; you think we don't?"

"I didn't say that!"

"Do you know one of the big things that I was attracted to you for?" James blurted out. Remus leaned against the wall, staring in surprise. "It was your carefree spirit. But that can get you killed or worse right now. You can't be so impulsive anymore. It's cute as a kid, not as an adult." James marched off the lift without a backwards glance.

Remus snickered a little. "Well that was a bit of a surprise." He looked Sirius over. "You're blushing." He followed after James, smiling as Sirius only turned redder.

* * *

_**(AN:** Well fans of Firefly/Serenity will notice a line there!)_


	59. Chapter 59

**(59) Addiction**

Sirius jerked awake from an incessant ringing. He had fallen asleep on the couch &amp; was rather disoriented until he found the source of the noise; the phone which he had knocked to the floor. "Hello-oh …" Sirius yawned wildly. "Aye. Who …?"

"Did I wake you?"

Sirius stretched, trying to wake up. He knew this voice but his brain was still befuddled. "Nah I just ...what is it?"

"Funny how these things work," the voice went on. "A bit like our mirrors back in school. Ray said they acted like phones."

Ah yes, Sirius finally figured it out. This was his cousin. Right. He tried to wake up completely. "James? Since when do you know how to work a phone?"

"Harry's owled me about it a few times," said James. "He's why I'm using this by the way. Do you know what a …hang on ..." Sirius heard papers shuffling. "Um ah ...a …right. I think Harry's being stupid. This isn't a word."

"Spell it out."

"Vee see are."

"Oh a VCR," Sirius said.

"Yeah how do you say that word?"

"You just did."

"No I spelled it out." 

"No that's how you say it."

"No," James huffed. "That is clearly how you spell it."

"You say it that way to."

"You say the letters?"

"Yes."

"Well that…that's …that's real stupid. Who comes up with this shit?"

"James," Sirius groaned. "It's an acronym. You DO know what that is, right?"

"Yes!" James snarled. He wasn't quite that stupid.

"Ok, it's just short for Video Cassette Recorder is all."

"I see," James said. "Fine, do you know what it is then?"

Sirius glanced to the VCR that Remus had in their living room. "Obviously I know more about it than you do ...Sherlock. What do you want?"

"Well … Irene—"

"That's not funny! Why can't I be John? It would make more sense anyway, considering uh …" He tried to say yet not say 'us'.

"'Cause first of all, Remus is John since it's literally part of his name &amp; secondly, Ray said you're the girl anyway."

Sirius huffed loudly enough into the phone so James would hear. "What do you want?" He repeated irritably.

"I want a VCR."

"You do?"

"Yes."

"Why? You're not interested in muggle life remember?"

"I was thinking of having Harry over for the spring break coming up," said James. "He can watch some of those tapes Lily made."

"Ohhhhhh!" Sirius woke up at last. Finally, after a lengthy conversation that would have taken seconds with someone who knew what they were talking about, they had gotten to the point at last.

"So can you send Moony over? I know he has one so he should know how to make mine go."

"What am I, chopped caterpillar?" Sirius pouted.

"You know how to set this thing up?"

"Better than Ray," Sirius defended. "He is actually horrible with wires &amp; he's always afraid of getting zapped by electricity. I'm the one always setting stuff like that up around here. I'll be right over."

Sirius apparated over a few minutes later. He landed on the busy streets of London &amp; found the flat James was using, which was near to the fabled Sherlock Holmes flat. (Neither James or Sirius had ever quit forgiven Remus of destroying their childhood about Sherlock's card being fake.) It looked like any muggle flat on the outside, but inside it was obvious enough that a wizard lived there, despite the obvious signs such as the odd outlet being on the wall, betraying its original design. Though few, there were some pictures on the walls &amp; the ones in the frames moved &amp; interacted with each other &amp; those outside the frames.

Sirius glanced around as he had never really been inside the flat itself before. It had a simplicity to it. Nothing gilded with gold. No long halls with multiple bedrooms. It was nothing like the mansion that James or Sirius had grown up in. Sirius remembered sadly that the mansion was half blown to bits right now. He moved into the living room. The center table was covered in books &amp; papers &amp; on closer inspection; Sirius could see that they were sorcery books. He glanced down on one open page &amp; saw a rather elegant P set inside a triangle.

"Padfoot?"

Sirius stepped quickly away from the book as if he had been caught doing wrong. "Uh you scared me. Hi."

"Hi," James came in &amp; pointed to a shelving unit along the wall. "Well there it is. Can you set it up?"

Sirius glanced around &amp; saw the VCR waiting for him. He headed for it. James took the book Sirius had been looking at; set it on the floor, then with his heel he kicked it under the couch. Casually as he could, he moved towards Sirius. He watched silently as Sirius fussed with the VCR for a few minutes.

Sirius soon had the thing attached to the wall with its cables. "Well, that's it," he stood up. "It's set up now as best as I could."

"I thought you knew how to do this?"

"I do." 

"Alright then. Make it do something."

"I don't have any tapes on me."

"Then how am I supposed to know it works?"

"Oh I can tell you right now that it won't work," Sirius began as James glared at him. "You see, unless you have a TV to go along with it, you can't play any tape to save your life."

"Tee vee?" James echoed.

"Yes," Sirius said. He gave James a small shove backwards. "A TV. That's 't-e-l-e-v-i-s-i-o-n' to you." James smacked him. Sirius rubbed his shoulder. "Lily had one." 

"Great," James grumbled. "So Harry can't see those things Lily made for him."

"Yeah he can," Sirius said. "I'll get you a TV for this." He apparated just a moment after he muttered 'pureblood bastard' under breath. It was worth the singular elegant finger James showed him.

While Sirius was gone, James took the book back from under the couch &amp; put it into a more secure location. It was an ancient hand written thing, a diary in fact, handed down from Peverell to Peverell through the ages. Though the book stayed relatively the same size, it never seemed to run out of room. Towards the end, lines by Charlus had been added &amp; now James was using it while working on the magic enshrouding the Hallows. He had it nearly fixed now. James was now starting to plan a meeting with Harry in much the same way Charlus had done with him, though at a much earlier age.

By the time Sirius had returned, James had cleared away the books &amp; went about opening a bottle of Firewhiskey. Sirius soon had the VCR &amp; TV connected &amp; after trying a tape at James's insistence (using Disney's Snow White), he sat down on the couch &amp; grabbed a glass.

"So how are you &amp; Remus doing?" James asked, taking the armchair across from Sirius.

"Oh," Sirius managed a laugh. "The stupid things we do to each other. We're fine."

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," James said. Sirius nodded slightly, not meeting James's eye. "Of course not doing anything stupid works wonders." James finished after a minute.

Sirius laughed again before drinking some of the whiskey in his glass. James did the same &amp; Sirius was struck with another stupid idea. Get James so bloody drunk that he'd spill his secrets. Did Sirius dare try? Sirius poured out more Firewhiskey, taking care to put just a bit more in James's glass than in his own.

"So tell me," Sirius began. "How come you know how to set up a phone yet not the VCR?"

"I don't have a phone."

"Then how'd you manage to call me?"

"Simple," James shrugged. "I used the one in the lobby."

"What am I going to do with you?" Sirius groaned, taking a rather long drink from his goblet.

"I think it's the other way around," James teased.

Sirius just waved his hand. "So what were all those books &amp; stuff for?"

James took a moment to answer. "Nothing. Just something for Harry."

"Found a way to pull him out of the Tournament?" Sirius pressed. "I know it's rather late for that but it's nigh unto impossible to break those kinds of spells."

"I've tried everything," James admitted. "But there's only one more Task. He has Champion blood so ... so I think I'll let him win it."

"There's a good chance that will happen," Sirius agreed.

"I'm going to have Harry for a week," James said. "I have no idea how to do that."

Sirius laughed at him. "You've had him for his first year. I think you can handle a week."

"He was just a baby then," James defended. "Now he's a teenager with the same smart mouth his mother has. I'm doomed!"

Sirius burst out laughing, then lay across the couch to stare at the ceiling. Just a few swigs of Firewhiskey was enough to get anyone drunk. It was the second strongest drink next to 'Dragon's Breath'. James poured out more for each of them &amp; they drank mostly in silence. As Sirius become more &amp; more trashed, he would mention random things, hoping to lure James in while his brain still half worked.

Sirius focused hard to look in James's direction &amp; after seeing three rather fuzzy looking James, he asked the old familiar question. "So, how are you holding up?"

James laughed at him. "Better than you," he said in a rather clear voice for one who had recently swallowed half a bottle of the liquor.

Sirius smiled dreamily, closing his eyes. He was on the point of passing out. "We'll see who has the bigger hangover," He murmured in a slurred voice. Feeling a presence close by, he opened his eyes to find James sitting down on the edge of the couch. It was easier to make James out as he was much closer. They stared into each other's eyes for a long moment.

James leaned closer. "You're quite drunk, Padfoot."

"Mhm."

James picked up the bottle &amp; chugged the rest back in one long shot. Sirius could only stare in surprise in spite of himself as James put the empty bottle down on the table. "It really is amazing what stuff like this can do, isn't it?" said James.

"Yeah," Sirius forced himself to sit up beside James, only to put his pounding head into his hands.

James put one arm around Sirius's arm while with his free hand, he pushed Sirius back. "You are so drunk."

Sirius turned his head, ending up almost nose to nose with James. He blinked hard. "But you're not."

"Stuff like this?" James moved only an eyebrow in the bottle's direction. "It's all a trap you know."

"I …mmm." Sirius hiccupped. "I guess."

"Addictions really. Booze. Drugs. Even love at times. All just addictions."

"Yeah."

They gazed at each other a long time before James stood up. "I drank the antidote first. Come on. Let's get you up." He took Sirius by both hands &amp; dragged him to his feet. "Moony will have to sort you out," he laughed, as Sirius stumbled about even though he was supposed to be standing. James took Sirius into his arms to support him as he apparated them both away.

"Jim, warn me before you do this," Remus answered the door, rubbing his forehead. "I have a headache no thanks to you getting my mate drunk."

"Sorry," James was anything but as he let Sirius collapse onto the couch, then headed back to the door. He flashed Remus a short smile as he stepped outside. "Laters."

"Yeah, THANKS! Moron!" Remus slammed the door, ignoring James's laughter. "I hate that guy." He muttered under breath as he went back to Sirius. He paused in the hall to put a hand to his head again. "Oy!" He went to the kitchen first to prepare a sobering potion that took two minutes, fortunately, then went to the living room for Sirius. He smacked Sirius on the shoulder. "Get up." Remus helped him. "Here, drink this."

Sirius slowly slurped it down. After a few moments, his head finally cleared. He sent Remus an apologetic smile. "Sorry. Didn't mean to do that. Well … well James offered it!" He finished rather derisorily.

"Don't think I don't know what's going on," Remus said with a half smile.

Sirius stared aghast. "Ray! I would never do that. Nothing's going on!"

Remus shook his head. "A lot of stuff goes on between you &amp; Jim. Believe it or not, I think it's cute. I trust you. With that, anyway. But I mean, I know what you tried to do. Someone forgot to close the link before trying to dupe James into spilling his secrets. I felt your intentions."

Sirius looked reproachfully at Remus, long bangs falling over his pale grey eyes. "Well you know what they say, make up sex is the best."

"You're hopeless," Remus walked away, laughing.

Sirius ended up not get any sleep that night &amp; it had nothing to do with either playing with Remus or the great snores only a werewolf could produce. The whole recent affair with James bothered him somehow. Sirius slipped out of bed &amp; went down stairs. He sat in near darkness save for a low fire in the hearth. Why did James bring out the liquor? Why take an antidote first? Sirius thought of how physically close they had gotten. The long looks. Did James keep himself sober so any accidents wouldn't happen that would kill Remus?

Remus said stuff still went on between Sirius &amp; James. Sirius didn't know what. He didn't notice anything, apart from what just happened. He checked himself over. Yes, he was still quite in love with Remus. While he still felt something for James, it has long since cooled. There but not there. Remus was his mate &amp; he had no desire to give him up for anything. It was as if he was addicted to Remus.

Addicted. James had mentioned various addictions, even love to describe Sirius &amp; Remus perfectly. Sirius gasped as he jumped to his feet. He felt he was suddenly very close to understanding what was going on but his mind just couldn't quite grasp it.

"MOONY!" Sirius fled upstairs &amp; pounced on him.

With a startled angry snarl, Remus sat up sharply &amp; bit down hard on whatever monster was attacking him. His mouth filled with fur while his ears rang with the cries of Padfoot. Remus released his grip &amp; with a wave of his hand, the lights came on. Remus glared gold as Padfoot whimpered, recovering from the blow.

"Blimey!" Sirius moaned several minutes later, grabbing his bleeding shoulder. "I bite—you bite. You bite really hard."

"Well what did you expect?" Remus still glared with golden eyes. "This had better be good Sirius!"

Sirius took care of his wounds first, letting Remus stew with impatience. Never wake a sleeping werewolf! Remus finally snapped at him to get on with it already or he was going to go back to sleep. Sirius sat on the bed. "I think I know what's wrong with Jim." Remus began rolling his eyes. "No, wait! I really do!" Sirius began. "Look, I'm not the one who offered a drink. It was him. I just planned to set up the VCR for Harry, then come home. But Jim brought that bottle out. He had an antidote &amp; Remus, I thought long &amp; hard about it, I think he made a move on me to. Not to try doing anything with me but to try telling me something without saying anything at all." He explained how James kept close to him, kept catching his eye. "He talked about addictions to," Sirius went on.

"You think Orion would make James drunk every time he ..." Remus didn't bother to finish the sentence.

"Well maybe not drunk, but perhaps drugged."

Remus thought a moment. "Sedated perhaps?" Sirius could only look at him. Remus leaned forward, resting chin on fingertips. "It has some merit actually. It would explain a few things."

"Like what? WHAT?" Sirius asked excitedly, feeling they were finally getting somewhere.

"Like why the hell didn't he escape sooner?" Remus seemed to say something that had been bugging him for ages. "What if he was knocked out most of the time? Why did it take two years?"

"Aha! So you have questions to!"

"How many times have I told you, I know something's going on?" Remus snapped impatiently.

"I didn't mean it like that," Sirius tried to recover. "It's just…we seem to be thinking along the same lines a lot more now." Remus scoffed softly at him. Sirius stared out the window. "It would also explain why he isn't speaking about it."

"How so?"

"The first time Orion hurt him, on those stairs," Sirius focused on a street light down the road for a long time before going on. "Jim later admitted feeling ashamed of ...of feeling...a uh rather ...pleasant ending."

"That's simply an automatic response," Remus said quickly. "Nothing wrong with that."

"I told him as much," Sirius came back to the bed. "But if he's been sedated most of the time, then wake up to the after effects ...Ray we need to get him into therapy."

"I'm quite sure that'll happen over the summer," said Remus. "Orion's next trial is coming up in a week. I'll have some questions to add for it." He pushed back the covers to let Sirius in, then turned off the light. Both lay on their backs, staring at the ceiling, each feeling that they had finally made a breakthrough. "Good catch Padfoot," Remus suddenly said. "What Jim did was probably a cry for help. He may not have even realised it."

When the time came for the next trial, Remus went down onto the floor to address the court. The timing couldn't be more perfect as the topic of the trials had by now moved beyond their school years &amp; into the time Orion had kidnapped James for two years. That was the time which was shrouded in shadows &amp; up until now, Remus had felt as if they were all blundering along in the dark. He waited for the other two Aurors to give Orion Veritaserum, then moved close to the cage.

"I have some questions for you," Remus tried not to snap. But since his back was currently towards the court, he couldn't help but expose his more pointed teeth for a moment.

"I kill werewolves, not converse with them."

"Well you're going to converse with me," Remus muttered. He stood straight &amp; raised his voice so the court could hear. "As we all know, we are now entering trials based upon the two years Ja—"

"Alleged," Orion corrected.

Remus mentally hissed at him. Then decided to forget it. "Upon the two years!" He emphasised the phrase before going on. "That James Potter was in your house." Orion scoffed. Remus clasped his hands behind his back &amp; began to pace. "Did you at any time during those years, offer Mr. Potter any type of drug?"

"Yes."

Remus stopped pacing, staring at the opposite wall. He smiled quickly. Bingo! They had landed on the problem at last. "Can you tell me what kind?"

"Well, we had Firewhiskey sometimes," Orion said. "Various drinks."

"Any thing else?"

"Like perhaps medicinal?"

"Did you ever medicate Mr. Potter?"

"Well yes," Orion said. "He fell through the roof once. I had to give him a potion for the pain."

"I see," Remus turned to continue pacing. "Only that one time?"

"Yes. After all, how many times does one fall through a roof?"

"I see you point," Remus shrugged, twisting back. "Very well. Move on. Any other type of drug?"

"Like what?"

"Narcotics perhaps?"

"Oh, Remus," James sighed to himself. Sirius tsked &amp; shook his head. Both watched as Orion &amp; Remus continued to question each other. "He's new," James tried to console Sirius. "They didn't give him the training we did. He's learning."

"It isn't me you have to convince, Jim," Sirius hushed him.

"The link. The Link! Use your link."

"Too late. The trap's already shut."

Orion answered no to most of Remus's questions. Any affirmative was merely in reference to various liquors he may have shared with James. The trial soon ended with a pending sentence. James &amp; Sirius entered the house quietly when they returned home to Sirius &amp; Remus's house.

"Ok," Remus pushed them into the living room. "Did someone die?"

Sirius &amp; James shared a look. "Would you…?" James began at the same time Sirius said. "I well I uh ...?

James looked at Remus. "Uh how well did you think that trial went?"

"Quite well right up until you asked. What's wrong?"

"The are ways around Veritaserum," Sirius began. "That whole conversation was lost the moment you let Orion lead you with his own questions."

Remus glanced at the floor, thinking the conversation over. He sighed heavily, rolling his eyes to the ceiling as he realised that he had indeed been led on. "Damn it! You're right Jim. Orion does like to play the victim."

"Yeah," James said slowly. "That has nothing to do with it."

"Believe it or not," Sirius began. "I almost failed at becoming an Auror because of this."

"Really?" Remus stared at him.

Sirius nodded. "It was Frank that whipped my arse into shape actually. Back then, we were each given missions to do to prove ourselves, but there was a catch."

"We thought they were real &amp; it was only after finishing each one that we were told it was still just training," James added. "People we thought were Death Eaters or supporters were actually our friends under Polyjuice. We all went through it."

"The missions were centered around Veritaserum," Sirius said. "So we could learn how the drug worked, both on us or on our subjects. Frank was really mean to me but I made it."

_Flash back 1978_

Another blow landed across the captive's face. "You tell me where she is!" Sirius demanded.

"Where who is?" The prisoner demand.

"Marlene."

"I know three Marlene's. Which one?"

"Marlene McKinnon!"

"Where do you think she is?"

"That's what I'm asking you!"

"Why do you want to know?"

"So I can bring her back," Sirius retorted.

"You think that will work?"

They bantered for nearly an hour. Sirius raised his hand to hit the man in front of him again, a Death Eater, but suddenly the flesh began shifting. "F-Frank?" Sirius gasped. "Have you switched sides?"

"No," Frank muttered. "Sirius, if you don't get this right, you're going to fail the Auror program."

"Auror program? We're done. We're out in the field."

"For training," Frank said. "And so far, you're not doing so well."

"But—"

The door opened &amp; McGonagall came in. "I am afraid to say, Mr. Longbottom may be right. You only have three weeks before the final tests, Mr Black. I suggest you find out what you did wrong."

"FRANK I'M SO SORRY!" Sirius put his hands around Frank's beaten face.

"It's ok," Frank cracked his jaw. "You hit like a girl anyway." Sirius punched his shoulder.

Sirius led Frank to the hospital wing &amp; stood by while Frank's bruises were healed. Frank soon hoisted Philip over his shoulder as he returned to Sirius. "Let me guess," Sirius said as they left. "It's my temper isn't it? I punched you a few times."

"I was actually given potions against any pain &amp; bruising ahead of time," Frank said. "I would have been knocked out otherwise. We're at war. We're soldiers. It's to be expected."

"So my temper isn't it?"

"Well I supposed you could reign it in a little more," Frank muttered, rubbing Philip's back. "Quit making conversation with me."

Sirius stepped back. "I'm sorry. If you don't want to talk to me anymore, I get it."

"Sirius!" Frank grabbed his arm. "I don't mean now." He moved in closer. "When you get what I mean, you'll pass no problem. In the meantime, I suggest getting a Restriction card &amp; do some studying up on Veritaserum in the Restricted Section."

_End Flash back_

"Our brains have an automatic repellent to Veritaserum," Sirius explained. "It's an invasive drug that numbs the mind to make most people say our deepest secrets. But to get around that, some of us are strong enough to fight against it by answering with questions. It's really hard to focus, but not impossible. Frank was the best at it. He was basically immune to that drug."

"So how do you get out of the loop?" Remus asked.

"Do not engage them," James answered. "You repeat your question. Again &amp; again. Until their mind succumbs &amp; answers you, not evades you." Remus nodded silently as he sat down on the armchair. He couldn't look at either man still standing in front of him.

Sirius put a hand on Remus's head &amp; pulled him close. "I'm sorry they didn't train you as much. It's peace time. Advanced training isn't offered much."

"Padfoot, it has nothing to do with peace but with me being a werewolf," Remus said. "Don't deny it. Who'd want to train me anyway?"

Sirius &amp; James shared a glance before James said. "We will. Don't expect us to go easy either. Those last two months of training were bloody. We'll teach you."

Remus managed a small laugh. "Thanks."

"Ok, let's start right now," James began. "Oh for the record, Orion never gave me any of those drugs he made you ask. Of course we had alcohol at times. Who doesn't? But none of those drugs. I let Fudge know."

/That narrows it down a lot./ Remus sent a silent note to Sirius. /But I'm sure we're on the right track so it shouldn't be too long now./

/It's about time to./

"That does bring up a certain point though," Remus spoke aloud to James. "As your Auror, I must ask, do you have anything to add to these final trials?"

"No."

Sirius laid an arm across Remus's shoulders. "Same question."

James stared coolly back. "Same answer."

Remus heaved a sigh as he got up. "Had to ask. Alright can we start my training in the morning?" He went on. "I think we're all tired after this long day."

Sirius &amp; James shared another long glance before both smiled evilly. "Not a chance," Sirius said. "Aurors learn to go for days without sleep. We're staying right here. The first one to fall asleep goes without chocolate …for a month!"

"You're on!" Remus declared.

Naturally, he lost his rights to chocolate for a month.


	60. Chapter 60

Alright I am going a bit more AU but I will keep quite a few canon points. But naturally, if James had been around I would think he'd be the one to tell Harry anyway.

* * *

**(60) P For ... Potter?**

"Whoa!" James swivelled sideways as a cushion sailed through the air. It hit Sirius squarely in the face.

"Sorry Jim," Remus muttered, stomping by. "Didn't see you. I was aiming for him!"

James watched Remus head down the hall, then rounded on Sirius. "What do you do to him now?"

"What?" Sirius glared. "I don't always mess up you know!"

There was a low snarl as Remus stood in the doorway between the hall &amp; the kitchen. "I haven't had chocolate in nearly a month!" Sirius folded his arms. "So forgive me if I'm not being my usual chipper self."

"Ah," James understood. "Withdrawal symptoms."

"Big time," Sirius said.

Remus came back with a tray of tea &amp; biscuits, set it on the table, then took some parchments out of the top drawer in the desk by the window before sitting down. "Haven't had sex in almost a month either," He grumbled under breath. It took all of James's power not to burst out laughing as Sirius snapped at Remus.

"Who'd want to have sex with a grumpy old coot like you?"

Remus hissed at him, then glared at James as if it were all somehow his fault. "Well sit down."

"I guess I won't come visit for a few days when this month's up. It's going to be like a second Valentine's in here." James made a gagging face.

"Like you haven't done that with Lily!" Sirius said at the exact same time Remus snarled out, "Like you haven't done that with Sirius!"

The most awkward moment in the universe happened then as none of them knew how to arrange their faces, caught between laughter &amp; horror. James cleared his throat &amp; said to Remus, "Then in a few days, you can tell me if I trained him well."

Another moment passed, then the three of them finally burst out laughing. When he calmed down a bit, Remus grabbed a biscuit with one hand &amp; spread out the parchment sheets with the other. He handed on to James &amp; one to Sirius. The parchments were forms for the next trial.

James checked the date. He started to say something, thought better of it &amp; fell silent.

"Is something wrong?" Remus asked.

"No," James said. Remus knew otherwise. James looked down at the sheet again. "It's ...well. Harry's going to be here then. It's right in the middle of the spring break."

"We can have it moved," Remus said. "But you might not want to." He smiled softly at James as Sirius did the same.

"What?"

"Read it over," Remus sat back, still smiling yet at the same time, looked like he was close to tears.

James skimmed over his copy of the form. With a sudden gasp, he pressed the thing to his chest. "Is it really?"

"The last one," Sirius nodded. "It will end with his sentencing."

"As well as both of yours," Remus added. "Don't worry. You two will get off."

"Will he get the Kiss to then?"

"Not that same day," Remus said. "It will have a date set at this trial &amp; then ...well ...that's it. He's finished."

"Two more times," Sirius said. "This trial with sentencing &amp; then whenever his sentence is carried out. Then he's out of your life forever! It's over Jim. Finally."

James nodded quickly as he pushed himself off the couch. He let his form drop. Remus leaned forward. "Are you ok Jim?"

"Mmm," James nodded again. "Mhm. Fine." He glanced around the room. "Excuse me a moment."

"James," Remus began.

"I ... I just need a moment," James left hurriedly.

They both watched James leave. Sirius stared into the hall at the spot where James disappeared. "That was very odd. If I ever find out what's really going on..."

"I don't think this has anything to do with that for once," Remus said. Sirius looked at him in mild surprise. "This is more of a stunned relief. Just let him be."

Sirius rested his forehead in one hand. "I can't wait for it all to be over."

"Not much longer," said Remus.

They waited in silence, finishing their tea. James's own tea had gone cold yet he still didn't return. Remus stood up &amp; after a short hesitation, he went into the hall to track James down.

James was lying on their bed with his back to the door. His glasses lay on the pillow beside his head. He stared at the opposite wall without really seeing it as silent tears slowly soaked the pillow he was using.

"Prongs?" Remus slowly entered the bedroom. "I'm just going to sit on the edge here," he said softly as he eased himself onto the bed. He wasn't sure how James would handle having another man sitting on a bed that he himself was lying on.

James stretched a bit but kept his back turned to Remus. "Hi."

"Hi," Remus said. "You ok?"

"Yeah," James sighed. "Just ...can't believe it's over. Nearly." He finally turned to lie on his back as he rubbed his eyes as if just waking up. He sat up sharply. "Sorry."

"Don't be," Remus said as his eyes took on a slight yellowish tinge. Both man &amp; wolf were aware of James.

James leaned forward as Remus took him into his arms. "It's your bed," James said.

"Jim, never mind," Remus put a hand on the pillow for a moment while James couldn't see. Sure enough, it was damp. "Why don't you come down stairs? I can reheat your tea."

James pulled away as he reached around for his glasses. He attempted to put them on but Remus had moved in. "Don't you dare!" James held the glasses away. "Yet you wonder why people hate werewolves. Annoying pets."

Remus stood up, insulted. "I am not a pet!"

"Prove it," James taunted. "Quit acting like one."

Remus growled, watching James put his glasses on. "Jim," Remus began when he had managed to push Moony away. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

"Yeah I know," James said lightly. "Shall we get this over with?" He headed to the door without another word.

Remus didn't mention it again, but by now, he was starting to feel more &amp; more like Sirius. He wanted to wrangle the information out of James &amp; part of him was starting to not care about the end result so long as they figured out whatever James was not saying. Remus growled to himself in frustration.

James meanwhile, seemed to come out of his mood as quickly as it had started. Remus didn't know quite why but thought that perhaps it had to do with the distraction of Harry coming to visit during spring break. On the first day of the break, James arrived early at Hogwarts to find Harry to bring him home by side-along apparation. They met in the Great Hall for breakfast, then for the first time in his life, Harry found himself actually leaving Hogwarts like so many other students during a vacation other than summer.

Harry carried his bag over one shoulder &amp; his Firebolt over the other. Once outside, Hedwig fluttered down to see them. She landed on the handle end of the Firebolt &amp; clung on until they had crossed the Stone Bridge. She screeched &amp; flapped her wings while digging her talons in.

"HEDWIG!" Harry dropped his bag &amp; lowered his now scratched Firebolt. "I JUST polished this thing." Hedwig screeched again. "Let go!" They glared at each other. "Merlin dammit! Let go I say!" Hedwig finally uncurled her talons &amp; Harry could see the great gashes in the wood. "Thanks. Thanks a heap!" Hedwig stood on the ground, glaring up at him. "I'm not leaving you behind Hedwig," Harry began. "I'll be back in a few days. Don't worry!" Still not feeling sure, she continued to stare at him. James was snickering nearby &amp; being of no help whatsoever. "Hedwig," Harry groaned. "Don't you have a boyfriend someplace perhaps? Maybe?" Hedwig clicked her beak. "Somebody? Or something?" Hedwig sighed so much her wings partly lifted, but she finally took off. Harry rolled the Firebolt in his hands &amp; groaned.

"Owls are funny creatures aren't they?" James was still laughing.

"Hysterical," Harry was still mentally crying over his precious broom.

James finally took the broom &amp; looked it over. "It'll be fine. They aren't deep. You can fix this easily." He handed it back. Harry took it then picked up his bag again. "So," James went on. "there's another way to get to Hogsmeade. Through that bit of forest to where a small glad is &amp; then over the fence. Care for a race?"

Harry looked his father over. "You don't have a broom."

"I don't need one," James switched to Prongs. The stag wiggled its brow.

Harry scoffed. "I'd win way too easily."

Prongs leaned back on his legs, getting ready to charge forward. Harry stared at him. "Fine. You want to be a loser, so be it." He began tying his bag to his broom, then eyed Prongs. "You take it," He attached it around the stag's neck. "You're going to lose anyway. A little more weight won't hurt." He mounted his broom &amp; took off for Hogsmeade.

Prongs bounded along far below &amp; Harry couldn't help but watch him until the trees blocked him from view. The glade soon came into Harry's sight ...&amp; so did a gaping wide gorge just before it. The stag would be heading right for it &amp; Harry doubted Prongs could clear it. "Dad! Stop!" Harry began diving for the trees but he was too late. Prongs appeared, running hard towards the edge of the cliff. Harry dived faster knowing it was useless. The stag reached the edge, then gracefully leapt into the air. Harry stopped to watch as Prongs seemed to fly across. "…Wow..." Prongs began to stretch out as he came down again. He barely landed on the other side, his rump hanging over the cliff. His hind hooves scrabbled a bit but he pulled himself up, then of all things, he pranced about the clearing as he looked up at the sky. Harry swooped down.

Prongs pranced about until Harry walked up to him. "What was that crap about me losing?" James teased. "I had to wait for you."

"You knew that gorge was there," Harry glared.

"'Course I did," James laughed at him. "I've jumped it many times in my day. Remus hated it. Scared him every time."

"I can't imagine why," Harry muttered. "You almost fell in." He added accusingly.

"Yeah ," James admitted. "But it's only because he needs to lose some weight." Harry's bag landed at his feet. James jumped the fence &amp; was officially in Hogsmeade before Harry was. "Hurry up!" James was still laughing his head off. He put up his fingers in an L shape. "LOSER!" He began walking down the street.

Harry grabbed his bag &amp; broom. "Ugh. I've got to learn to stop trusting Marauders." As he ran down the street after climbing the fence, he shouted. "Dad, just wait until I'm not banished anymore. I'll dare you to a REAL race then."

"If you're not banished anymore," James corrected.

Harry glared at him. "I know about some nice Kois nearby. Don't make me go get one for you."

"SHUT UP!"

Harry was still snickering so much, he barely understood when James explained about side-along apparation. So it was a rather unpleasant surprise when he was suddenly sucked into a vortex only to find himself in the flat in London.

"There are two rooms," James began. "You can use this one." He opened the door to a small bedroom.

"Alright," Harry went through the door.

"Just leave your bag on the bed for now. I'll take you to Diagon Alley to get the broom fixed."

It had always been one Harry's dreams to go to Diagon Alley with his parents. He hurriedly tossed his bag to the bed, turned &amp; tried to get back through the door but the Firebolt blocked him. Slightly winded, Harry turned the broom straight while rubbing his ribs with his free hand.

"I know that feeling," James smiled at him. "Prongs gets me like that with the horns all the time." Harry just groaned. "We can apparate to the Leaky Cauldron from here." James went on as he took Harry's hand. Without further warning, he yanked both Harry &amp; Firebolt back into another vortex.

Harry stumbled about the floor of the Leaky Cauldron for very different reasons from what most of its customers did. "That is the worst way to travel yet."

"I hated it for a year," James began. "But it isn't the worst. Wait until you try a Portkey."

"Already did," Harry groaned. "To get to the Quidditch World Cup."

"I used that type of travel maybe five times in my life," James opened the wall to Diagon Alley. I'd rather apparate."

"I'd rather walk."

They went straight to the Quidditch Shop &amp; dropped off the Firebolt. It would be two hours before it got worked on which gave James &amp; Harry plenty of time to wander about. They stopped for ice cream first of all &amp; then headed through the Alley while eating great balls perched precariously on cones.

Passing by Ollivander's, James pointed at the ground just in front of the door. "That's where Sirius &amp; Remus first met," he began. "Remus was just going in to get his wand when he was 11 &amp; Sirius was just coming out. He was running to catch up to me &amp; bowled Remus right over. I guess it was fate," James added. "They way they fell on top of each other."

Harry choked on a piece of his cone. "I bet Moony just loved that," he grumbled sarcastically, forgetting who he was talking to.

"I'm sure he does now," James said slyly.

"So where did you first meet Mum?" Harry quickly changed topics as James laughed.

"Oh that," James shrugged. "Well the first time I saw her, I actually didn't really notice her. It was on the train. About half way through the journey. Sirius &amp; I were trying to find a compartment to hide in to get away from Lucius. We found one with only one girl sitting by the window. So we stayed in there. Turns out she wasn't alone. A moment after Sirius &amp; I made ourselves comfortable, guess who showed up?"

"Lucius?"

"Nope," James shook his head. "Severus Snape."

"SNAPE?"

"Yep," said James. "Now him, we noticed him just fine. We had a bit of a fight. He had started talking to Lily. I think she was crying about her sister or something. Anyway he mentioned Slytherin, hoping that she'd go to that House with him. I knew by then that the House had gone bad since it was around the time Voldemort was starting his war, though most of us didn't even realise it then. But most of the children of the families that supported him tended to be in that house. My own mother had warned me before going, even though she herself was Slytherin."

"What did you do?"

"I asked Severus flat out. Who'd want to go to Slytherin?" James shrugged, finishing off his cone. "We need more of this." He led them back to get more ice cream. "Anyway, Sirius was quite worried he'd end up in that House. So he asked me where I thought I'd end up. I mentioned Gryffindor, just like my Dad &amp; the conversation went downhill from there."

"Sirius was mad you would go to Gryffindor?" Harry asked, surprised.

"No not him," said James. "But Severus was listening in. He was the one that got mad. It was clear that Severus wanted to be Slytherin. He said they were better than Gryffindors. He thought Gryffindor was full of nerds. Sirius finally asked him where he thought he was going since he seemed neither brainy or brawny. The look on Severus's face. I'll never forget it!" James burst out laughing for a full minute.

"Is that why you two don't seem to get along?" Harry asked, almost accusing. "You picked a fight with him right on the train?"

"Wasn't me!" James held up his hands in defense. "It was Sirius! Besides, that wasn't the only case. It would have been fine I guess, but every time Sirius &amp; I ran into Severus, it never ended well. We hated each other more &amp; more as the years went by."

"You still do," Harry pointed out.

James shrugged. "So?"

Harry was at last starting to feel that he was missing something. "I remember Mum saying something. Pictures, I mean. She said something about you not being so bad to Sev anymore." It was partly true, though it was a line he had read from the diary, not a picture, but Harry would rather avoid bringing up the diary if at all possible. "Is Sev short for Severus?"

"Yeah," James was deeply involved in his ice cream.

"They were on the train together to," Harry was slowly piecing things together. "She was friends with him, wasn't she?"

James stopped licking his ice cream. "They lived in the same area."

"She knew him before Hogwarts?"

"Umm," James really wanted out of this conversation. "I think so. Maybe not well. I don't rightly know."

Harry stopped walking &amp; stared into the window of the Menagerie. Several owls blinked back at him. James had walked on &amp; didn't notice for a moment. He looked back at last to see Harry far behind. When he made his way back Harry said, "According to one of your ...pictures, Mum hated you for the first six or so years." He looked up at James. "It's 'cause you were picking on her friend all the time, isn't it?"

"You're asking me to reveal what goes on in a woman's head?" James evaded with a short laugh. "Nah, this is why I gave Sirius to you as a Godfather. He's the expert."

"I'm asking you."

James sighed. "Look ...Harry ... Lily had a mind of her own. You got that from her. I never knew what went on in her head even when I was married to her. It doesn't matter if she didn't like me those first few years. It matters that she picked me in those last years. Not Sirius like every other muggleborn girl. Not even Remus, believe it or not. There was a good chance he could have had her but no one knew about that until later when he was with Sirius &amp; admitted that he had some thing for Lily in the past. Lily had always liked Remus even after she knew what he was. But they had only ever been friends. She didn't pick some other guy. She picked me. That's all I care about."

Harry instantly knew there was something more going on now. James had evaded him in every way. He looked back at the owls blinking blearily from their cages. "I wish Mum was with us."

James put a hand on Harry's shoulder. "So do I. We both miss her." While that was true, it wasn't the reason Harry had wished Lily was with him at that precise moment. He wanted to get her side of the story. He thought of maybe trapping one of her pictures later. James's voice brought him back to reality. "In fact, I'm glad that came up actually. There is something you need to know, but we have to go back to Godric's Hollow for that. We can ...go see her at the same time."

Harry turned away from the owls. "I've never even thought of going there. Are we going this week then?"

"No," James answered. "There's some work to be done first. That we'll start now. We'll go to Godric's Hollow on your birthday … &amp; uh, make sure you have the Cloak. Not another one. The one I left for you. It's got to be that one!"

"Ok," Harry nodded.

"Your Firebolt should be ready," James steered Harry away from the owls. "Let's get that &amp; go home. I have something for you."

After grabbing the restored Firebolt, they stopped for one more shot of ice cream. Molly Weasley was there along with Ginny &amp; Fred. James pulled Molly aside as Harry bought more ice cream for Ginny while Fred left to find George. "I need to ask you something about Harry," James began. "Sirius said you're family's watched over him for a few years."

"Oh yes," Molly gushed. "He's like another son to me. We love having him over."

"Thanks," James said. "I have him for a week. I'm only realising now just how much I missed. What I don't know."

"Oh!" Molly laughed. "You'll be fine. At least he isn't like my twins, Fred &amp; George. Don't worry. He won't tear the house down."

"That's good to know," James said. "But I mean more personally. Like ...well...perhaps allergies &amp; whatnot."

"Ohh," Molly checked over Harry &amp; Ginny still inside looking over ice creams. "No no. I think he's fine. Not picky either like some people I know."

"Alright," James sighed in relief. "Well, here goes nothing."

Molly just laughed at him. "You'll be fine!"

Ginny came out of the shop, followed by Harry. James brought Harry back to the flat &amp; sent him to the living room. "You brought that box of tapes? I made Sirius set that up for you."

Harry nodded, noticing the VCR &amp; TV. "It's very easy to use."

"Eh, I can't wrap my head around this muggle stuff most of the time," James muttered. He disappeared a moment, ignoring Harry's snickering. He returned a few moments later with an old small book &amp; passed it to Harry. "This has been in our family for about a thousand years."

"A THOUSAND?" Harry suddenly found himself holding the book gently like an eggshell.

"Relax Harry," James sat down on the couch, watching in some amusement, as Harry stood still, afraid to move in case the book got damaged. "It has spells on it. Good luck trying to find away to harm that thing."

Harry slowly but surely opened the book &amp; was soon flipping through it. "I can't read most of it. Seems like another language."

"That's another spell actually," said James. "It's gibberish until you learn certain things. Then it will morph into something you can read. It's been passed down our direct line. My father had it. Then my Grandmother, then great Grandmother. Then Great Great Grandfather &amp; so on. Direct only. The book never seems to run out of space, so once you can start reading, you'll have your whole life ahead of you to look at it. You can add your own as well."

Harry continued to look through it. He noticed a triangle with a P in it. "This letter. Potter? So it's all the Potter's?"

James sighed long &amp; hard. "Yeah ...about that. I learned all this when I was 11. But you know what they say. Better late then never." He paused a moment as Harry put the book on the table. "You don't exist. Neither do I."

"What?"

"There's no such thing as Potter," James began. "My father had to change the name over a century ago &amp; long before he married. Our family used to be hunted &amp; persecuted for something we ... hmm, we guard I guess you could say. It isn't as bad as the two other blood lines, but for a time, someone had killed most of us off just to get what we had. So Dad changed everything &amp; went into hiding. Then the Potters emerged. It was never meant to stick but thanks yet no thanks to you, it's now the most famous name in history."

"So what's the original name then?"

"We are Peverell."

"Peverell," Harry echoed the name. "I don't think I've heard of it."

"It was supposed to be that way for a bit," James said. "We're the third most ancient family of the entire Wizarding World. Some of the riches in the vault come from eons ago &amp; it's because we've been around so long. When you go to the cemetery in Godric's Hollow, you'll only find three Potters. My parents &amp; your mother. All the rest on that side are Peverells. It looks odd to outsiders, having another random name among all the Peverlls, but that is our true family. We used to be a large group but now it's just you &amp; I."

"If it was that popular, how come no one's told me?" Harry asked. "I'm surprised Hermione wouldn't know."

"There are old spells tied to our name &amp; that thing we keep," said James. "My Dad wiped Peverell from anything he was attached to. Basically killed the family again. As to our old secret, we couldn't even talk about it unless it was direct line. My mother never knew &amp; could never have known. It was my Dad's, not hers."

Harry was about to ask what, then figured it out. "The Cloak?"

"Mhm," said James. "That's no ordinary Cloak Harry. It's woven by Death itself."

"What?"

"I know you're a bit too old for such things," James began. "But if you'll suffer the embarrassment, can I read you a bedtime story tonight?"

Harry cast around for a moment but all he could do was hold up his hands. "What? No! You explain what you said first!"

"That story will," James said. "It has become a child's mythology now but the three true bloodlines &amp; anyone who studies &amp; hunts us know it for what it really is."

Not to sure what to do, Harry rubbed his forehead. "Hmm ok."

"Great," James got up. "I'll read it when you go to bed. Erm ... when is your bedtime anyway?"

"Usually 3 in the morning since I cram homework a lot," Harry complained.

"Get that from the Black blood," James laughed. "Oh Sirius would keep us up at night just before exams as he crammed like crazy."

"I try to go to bed by 11 or so, but sometimes they give us so much homework that it takes forever to finish."

"HA!" James scoffed. "You poor thing. Don't know what's coming. Wait until next year. That's your OWL year. It'll make this year look easy. Come on. Let's get some supper."

Harry followed him to the kitchen. "Are the Blacks one of the 3 blood lines then?"

"No, they're just cousins," James said. "The other two have been so decimated by thievery &amp; murder that sometimes I think they've died out eons ago." He held two slices of bread in one hand &amp; stared at the wall. "Then some sign or other pops up &amp; ... I wonder. Maybe we aren't alone." He looked at Harry for a moment. "But let's not worry about that right now."

As they ate sandwiches, James entertained Harry by letting his antlers out &amp; telling stories of being Marauders during school. He kept silent about the Cloak until later. By two in the morning, both had nearly fallen asleep in the living room. "Let's do that story thing tomor…or….or…" Harry yawned widely. "Ahh. Tomorrow night."

"Yeah," James agreed as he copied Harry. "Oh, I should tell you though," He yawned again. "You can handle an afternoon by yourself right?"

"Sure," Harry stumbled towards the bedroom.

"Maybe catch up on those videos Lily did," James said.

"Where are you going?"

"Uhh well," James rubbed the back of his neck. "Um ...hmm." He watched Harry get into bed &amp; look expectantly at him. "There's this ...trial. With Orion. It's the final one &amp; he'll be sentenced then to."

Harry failed to hide his gasp of shock. "The last?"

"That's it," James said. "So I'll be gone for a day."

Harry hesitated a moment before blurting out. "Do you want me to go with you?"

"NO!" James reacted instantly. "Uh erm…thanks. But no. I don't want that man any where near you!"

"I know," Harry looked away. "Sorry."

"It's fine," James shrugged. "You have better things to do anyway. It's about time you get to see those tapes. Good night!"

"Good night," Harry lay back &amp; watched the light in the hall until it turned off. "Hey Dad?" He yelled.

The light switched back on though James didn't appear. "Yeah?"

"While we were out, did you get a box of condoms so I can put the Kois in them?"

The light switched off. "I really regret ever writing that down!" Harry burst out laughing. "Go the fuck to sleep!"

* * *

_(Go to Youtube &amp; get Samuel L. Jackson's lullaby 'Go the fuck to sleep!'. Seriously! It's a great song!)_


	61. Chapter 61

**(61) Harry's Lesson**

Harry woke up with the usual feeling of disorientation that comes from sleeping in a new place for the first time. Though the sun was pouring into the window, it was still early. Harry was used to getting up with the sun all his life. His aunt &amp; uncle always woke him up in time to make breakfast &amp; at Hogwarts, he could only sleep in for so long before classes started or one of his dorm buddies woke him up on the weekend.

This time, no one bothered him. Harry lay awake for half an hour. He was slowly falling asleep again when he heard something fall over &amp; his father's voice grumble under breath.

Harry stretched cat-like under the covers before finally deciding to get up. He meandered into the kitchen by habit, heading for the stove.

"There ya are, sleepy head," James was at the table, just finishing up serving their plates. "We both got up late."

Harry blinked at the stove, half confused as his mind tried to understand the fact that he didn't have to make breakfast this time. He sat at the table. "Like I say, can't seem to get to bed until late."

"How does Miss Petty handle that?" James asked. Harry just stared at him. James suddenly rubbed his head. "Oh great, the itch is starting." He sighed heavily.

"The velvet?"

"Yeah &amp; Moody went &amp; fixed my horns, the bugger," James grumbled. "So I have to clean all of them again." He rubbed again before going on. "Anyway, Miss Petty is another term I came up with for Petunia. Petty brat that she is. Lily didn't date me for two weeks when I mentioned that."

Harry shook his head. "I often wonder how Mum ended up liking you."

"I don't know," said James. "Maybe it seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Especially after the way you treated her in that Prefect's Bath," Harry muttered under breath.

"Prefect's Bath?"

"Yeah, when she demanded you get out but you started being mean to her instead," Harry explained a little. "I know all about that."

"Hey she got what she asked for," James defended.

"I will never treat women the way you do," Harry laughed.

"Just wait until you start chasing those darn females around," James smirked at him. "You'll lose your head to." He added in a lower tone. "Both of them."

Harry glared at him. "What if I don't want a girlfriend?"

James went very still, looking Harry over. He smiled softly. "I told you, it doesn't matter to me." They stared at each other a moment before James put his fork aside, got up &amp; came around the table to Harry. He put a hand on Harry's shoulder. "It's alright. I'll accept whoever it is."

Harry glanced down at the hand, seeing part of the crucifix scar by the wrist, then up at his father. He realised that James had gotten it into his head that this was "that" moment that Harry was going to come out. Harry rolled his eyes so hard he nearly saw his brain. "Thanks, but I'm not gay."

James sighed as if disappointed. "I don't understand why your generation are so stupid—(Harry made a face.)—about coming out; especially in the Wizarding World. We don't care about that. Date your own gender, no one bats an eyelash; however, you date someone less than your blood status, almost everyone loses their freaking minds." He sighed, muttering 'morons' under breath.

"I'm not gay," Harry repeated firmly as James went back to his seat, smiling that 'all-knowing' parental smile that annoyed Harry no end. "I'm thinking more like Asexual."

James looked at Harry for a moment. "I've heard of that. It's very rare, but you've got Black blood. Blacks are quite ... promiscuous." James stammered suddenly, glancing to the floor.

Harry knew he was thinking of Orion. "Well Sirius is one of a kind," he offered. It had the desired effect.

"Oh yeah," James burst out laughing. "If you really are Ace, of course it won't bother me but I'll just be surprised that it happened in the Black bloodline."

"Well it's a rare occurrence," Harry pointed out.

James nodded. "It won't destroy our Peverell blood either. Aces can still have kids, just in a different way, like surrogacy or something." Harry hadn't thought of that. He &amp; James were the only two Potters...Peverells …alive at the moment &amp; Voldemort would love to finish them off. James finished his toast before adding. "That being said, I saw you in the ice cream shop with that girl. You seemed to stand really close to her."

"Dude seriously! That shop is small!" Harry grumbled, his face flushing. "Ginny was simply in my way."

Bingo! James smiled to himself, noticing the blush. "You didn't seem to have a problem with that." Harry wanted to kill him.

"Can we have some Koi fillets for supper?" Harry shot back.

"Whatever you like," James said sweetly. Oh how Harry hated him!

"It's small. She was in the way!"

"I believe you bought her a double large ice cream cone," James went on. "With sprinkles."

"Believe whatever you want," Harry stared into his plate, poking at eggs.

"Well," James began with an air of a new topic. "I could use your help with something. "I have to go to Gringotts &amp; make an exchange since I need muggle money to buy a gift for Sirius &amp; Remus's anniversary. I'm really not to sure what to do."

"I didn't even know Gringotts can make exchanges like that," Harry said.

"Well I need this much muggle money," James passed over a paper.

Harry stared at the amount. "What the bloody hell are you getting them? The moon?"

"I think they already have that," James laughed.

"Do we even have this much in our vault?"

"We have a few billion just in galleons alone, besides a lot of other stuff," James looked apprehensive. "What, you don't think we can do this?"

"We would have to ask what the rate is," Harry said. "Then figure it out."

"Alright, we'll do that first," James said. "Then maybe you can take me around London &amp; show me a bit of muggle shopping."

James soon had them both at the doors of the Wizarding Bank. Harry followed him inside but instead of going to the high desk at the other end of the corridor, James turned aside to the right &amp; went down a flight of stairs. He came out to another level with a few offices &amp; entered the one marked 'exchange' on the door. Harry was even more surprised when James addressed the goblin with: "Peverell vault" instead of Potter, but then reasoned that since the vault was so old &amp; goblins were excellent caretakers of them regardless, it was most likely one of few things left unchanged. Harry watched the interaction from the side, wondering how his family actually treated other species. While James wasn't exactly disrespectful, he did keep an air of pureblood haughtiness about him. He stood straight &amp; stiff &amp; would not sit down as Harry would. James suddenly stepped back from the desk. "My son has the amount. Harry come here please." James was even using his pureblood status with his son while in front of the goblin.

Harry decided to teach James a lesson. He pulled out the paper &amp; then the chair. While not looking directly at James, he kept his side vision on him as he sat down in front of the goblin. James stared, raising his brow in shock. He didn't look upset per se, but it was clear that he did not expect this behaviour from his son, sitting down as an equal with a goblin. James quickly recovered &amp; intently watched the proceedings.

The goblin however, didn't seem to notice. Even if he had never met Harry Potter before, Harry's fame was not just for surviving the death curse. It was a well known fact that he didn't care about the species but treated everyone the same. He looked the amount over. "Ah you have more than enough for this," the goblin squeaked. "Hardly make a dent at all. May I ask which company you are buying from?"

"Company?" Harry echoed.

"Some Wizarding families have muggle blood &amp; may own shops in the muggle world," the goblin explained. "If you are buying from them, then the exchange rate is even less as it will get circulated back into the Wizarding World faster than if you were buying from actual muggles."

"Dad?" Harry looked at him at last.

James took his pureblood stance &amp; said gruffly, "Lamborghini." He then busied himself by rubbing his head with one hand, fighting off the velvet demanding to be ripped off.

"Ohhhhhhhh," Harry understood perfectly, moreso than perhaps James would have let on otherwise.

"That family has close ties to the magical world," the goblin spoke to Harry more than to James. "Your exchange rate will go down considerably. A moment please. I need to make the calculations."

"No problem," Harry leaned back as the goblin went through a door behind his desk, leaving Harry &amp; James alone. "A Lambo huh?" Harry teased. "Sirius will love it but I think Remus is going to murder you."

"He is capable of appreciating rich things," James said. "Sirius &amp; I used to spoil him a lot back in school."

"Yeah with chocolate," said Harry. "I can hear Remus lecturing you right now though."

"He'll get over it," James said stubbornly.

"So what got it into your head to get them the car?"

James took a long time in answering. "I've heard about them but never saw one until ...well they're real nice cars. I had a pretty good look at one ...the day we caught Orion. It was in a car port. Really nice car."

"I heard a street got blown up that day," Harry said as he stood up to walk about while they waited. He planned to sit down the moment the goblin came back to get the point across to James. "Was the car ok after that?"

James laughed quickly. "Yeah it was in another street. I saw the car after the blow up. It's a fine car." They waited in silence a bit before James went on. "It's because of Sirius."

Harry looked James in the eye. "I know."

"Not the car," James said. "The street blowing up. Orion did that to make Sirius relive what happened before, when he was sent to Azkaban." Harry stayed quiet, knowing it was a rare time James would open up about anything involving Orion. "It was pure mental torture for him when the street blew up in his face. Again! I hated Orion even more for doing that. His main goal is to hurt Sirius really."

The goblin returned &amp; Harry quickly sat in the chair again. He felt rather annoyed at the goblin for coming in at the most inopportune time but there was nothing to be done about it. The goblin passed over a pouch of muggle money &amp; a parchment to sign to verify the exchange. Harry took the quill &amp; signed it with Harry Potter, next to the goblin's own name. "Oh! Sorry Mr. Griklackey. This is the Peverell account."

"You have room to add your third name," Griklackey pointed with one long finger. Harry stared at the space &amp; then signed the extra name. Harry Potter Peverell. "We understand it is the same family," Griklackey took back the parchment.

"You're probably the only people that do," Harry shrugged noticing the slight amazed look on James's face at the word 'people'. Harry stood up, adding. "Thanks for your help sir. See you later." Griklackey nodded shortly as Harry turned to lead the way out. The face on James was priceless. A complete what the bloody hell actually happened here only made Harry smile wider.

James returned them to his flat. They ended up in the hall by the door &amp; both pulled off coats. James turned to Harry. "Do you mind explaining to me what just happened?"

Harry looked at him. He didn't sound mad but Harry had little experience with an angry father. "What do you mean?" He asked innocently.

"That goblin," James spluttered out.

"What about him?"

"Well ...well it's a goblin," James replied. "Ok?"

"Ok," Harry walked away, hiding a smile. He entered the living room &amp; sat down on the couch, expecting the lecture &amp; having one of his own ready.

James came in, looking more &amp; more confused. "You ...really don't know much about our ways, do you?"

"Actually, I do."

"You sat down in front of that …thing...as an equal!" James said. "For Merlin's sake, you're not only a Half-blood &amp; a direct Peverell, you're also the most famous wizard in our world! You're above ...that."

"What would you have me do then?" Harry asked. "Mistreat &amp; torture them like everyone else?"

"I would never go that far," James quickly defended. "No creature needs to suffer. Our family isn't like that, don't get me wrong, but we do respect the boundaries between our kinds. Goblins are good. They have their uses but they aren't like us."

"So when they aren't useful any more, what would you do? Have them killed off?"

"I just said we're not like that," James was finally starting to lose his temper. "I would never allow another creature to suffer even if it is beneath me. But I know my place, so do they. You however, don't seem to."

"Well like it or not, I actually DO know my place but I choose to disregard it. It is my choice to sit with them or not &amp; no one can dictate to me how I treat them," Harry stated matter-of-factly. "Unlike some people," He glared at James as he stood up. They were finally having their first real fight. "I don't act like a Malfoy!"

"Ok ouch!" James shot back sarcastically. "I think you &amp; I need to have a talk."

"Fine, I'll start," Harry said. "Do you remember Dobby?"

"Dobby?"

Harry gritted his teeth. He had to do it. "I am sorry Dad, but I must. The day Orion ...crucified you..." There was a terrific silence as James stared at Harry, eyes swimming with tears. "You received help from a little house elf named Dobby. You treated him well enough that he helped free you. But more than that, he's been watching over me ever since."

"House elves are different," James said. "They become part of the family. They take care of us, even nanny our children. I had one as a child &amp; we were best friends but she got killed when I was fourteen. We still out rank them though, but they have higher status than a goblin."

"When I first met Dobby, I asked him to sit down," Harry went on. James grunted disapprovingly. "He said that no wizard has ever asked him to sit down as an equal &amp; do you know what I told him? That he most likely never met many nice wizards then. I know exactly how elves, goblins, fairies &amp; other creatures are treated by our kind mostly 'cause of Dobby &amp; Firenze."

"Firenze?" James exclaimed.

"He's a centaur."

"I KNOW what he is!" James grumbled. "Look Harry, while Rinoa played with me for most of my childhood, she did that under orders from my parents. I never asked her to sit down with me."

"You knelt down in front of Dobby," Harry explained what he read.

"Harry! I didn't ask permission. I did that on my own. I had little choice since both Sirius &amp; I were near death. I was bleeding all over the carpet thanks to these holes!" James held up his hands, letting the round scars show &amp; noticed with some satisfaction that it made Harry flinch a little. "I had just gotten off a cross ok? Give me a br—break!" James choked as he felt a single tear slide down his cheek. He hastily wiped it away &amp; said in a stronger voice, "Sirius had overloaded his powers. The nicer I was to that elf, the faster we all got out. He was really scared."

James fell silent, unable to look at Harry for fear of breaking down. Harry felt guilty for bringing that up in the first place. "Sorry." When he received no answer, Harry added, "Dad?"

"I'm fine," James said in a short breath. "Forget it." He rubbed both eyes with one hand, as if he were tired, which in a way he was, before being capable of meeting Harry's gaze. "Anyway, like I said, while our family know our place, we don't mistreat our slaves either! You don't go sitting down with them."

Harry however, couldn't accept it. He didn't like pureblood supremacy no matter how 'nice' it was. He didn't care whether it be ghost or goblin. Harry may not have much liking for goblins in general but he treated all species the same. "Well it's time you learned a new place Mister Peverell!"

James glared at him. "You mind your tone of voice with me young man!" They stared each other down. "Or you'll find out the hard way what purebloods do to their wayward children." He grinned wickedly.

Harry decided to take a chance &amp; consider it an empty threat. "Well thanks to your kindness, Dobby has risked his own employment &amp; life to save me on more than one occasion." He spent the next few minutes explaining, ending with, "Do you know what I did then? I gave that weird diary to Lucius Malfoy ...after I put a sock in it. He handed it to Dobby &amp; thereby accidently freeing him. Dobby's now a free elf &amp; very happy working at Hogwarts on his own accord. He's even demanding pay." Harry stopped talking as it seemed James wasn't listening to him anymore. "Dad?"

James looked up at Harry who was still standing in front of him. For the first time in his life, he let his eyes wander over to that scar &amp; stared long &amp; hard at it. Harry called to him again &amp; James forced himself out of discorded thoughts. "That," he raised his hand &amp; pointed at Harry. "Was a SERIOUS breach of protocol."

"I don't care," Harry replied. "Elves &amp; goblins are speaking of me. Know why? They respect me. I can probably ask them to jump a cliff for me &amp; they would because they would actually want to do it. It's another time Dad. Your ways are outdated. There is nothing you can do to me. I will continue to treat them all the same for as long as I live." They stared each other down once more each knowing that Harry would never back down. Harry added with, "What if it isn't a goblin next time? What if it's …a werewolf? Isn't what you did for Remus: a ...serious breach of protocol? Hmm?"

"We did it in secret," James defended pitifully. "Besides, that's different. He is human. He got bit when he was just four years old, almost five. It's just an illness. He was NOT born that way. It isn't his fault!"

"Well it isn't Dobby's fault he's an elf," Harry said. "It isn't Griklackey's fault either."

"Grikla—what?"

"That goblin who served us today," Harry said. "Do you even know his name? I do!"

"It's just a goblin!"

"HE ...just helped you to go buy a Lambo!" Harry declared. "You grew up in a different time &amp; in a different way. Try seeing things how I see them. Since you didn't raise me, I wasn't indoctrinated by pureblood mora—"

"Whoa, whoa! Indoctrinated?" James cut in as he stared in disbelief. "What? Is that what you think?"

"Yes!" Harry retorted stubbornly. "You're a pure, coming from a long line of purebloods. You're just reciting traditions inherited from your forefathers. That chain broke with me."

James sighed heavily. "Well, I think that you've been blinded by Lucius Malfoy's treatment of Dobby. Not all us purebloods are bad. But while I do feel sorry for the little elf, you shouldn't have interfered. Malfoys are distant family. Not our problem."

"Somebody has to make it their problem," Harry said. "Dobby would still be mistreated if I didn't free him."

James smiled up at him. "Let me show you how things actually work with various species. You'll find it's a good system."

"No."

"Harry, I was merely being formal," James raised a brow. "I am your father. I am going to teach you properly one way or the other. I can only imagine what people, our species that is, think of you right now."

"I don't care what people think! I care about what they do!"

"You should start caring about what people think to."

"Really? Voldemort thought it would be nice to kill my mother!" Harry shot back. "Still think I should care about what other people think?"

James was on his feet faster than Harry could blink. "How ..." He gasped in a weak voice. "How could ...how dare ..." James put both hands up &amp; walked away. "Stay there or you'll wish you had!" He ordered when Harry made as if to follow. James went into the hall to be alone.

Harry stood in the center of the living room floor, feeling stunned. He felt that he had just managed to drive his own father away. Everything had gone sour over a simple matter of having different views. Harry had thought that he was getting along so well with his father but pureblood notions had driven in a sharp heavy wedge. It had fallen between them quickly like a bolt out of the blue, splitting them completely apart. James landed back in his world of purebloods while Harry ended up on the other side of the crack, having an innocent view of the Wizading world since he had to learn everything himself. It wasn't James's fault. He was raised that way. So was Charlus. So were they before him. Then Harry showed up with an entirely different outlook that he basically made up himself, having no previous adult guidance in the world of magic.

Much to Harry's relief, James came back after several minutes. James leaned back against the edge of the couch, looking Harry over. "You're an odd one, Harry. I just don't understand how you can do that."

"I don't see what the big deal is."

"So let me teach you."

"But it would be wrong," Harry refused. "Let me teach you instead."

James shook his head at him, then muttered under breath. "Survive the death curse. Saved the Stone. Survived being bit by a Basilisk. A fully corporeal Patronus at 13. Fourth Champion for a Tiwizard Tournament. Now treating all species the same. Have I missed something?"

Harry hesitated. "I can ...speak ...speak …Shhhahath shhheeth. Sssssahhhssss."

James gasped in shock. "My God! YOU'RE A PARSLEMOUTH TO?!"

"Dad I'm sorry!" Harry stumbled back, fighting back tears. "I just said 'I think this will cover it' is all!"

"No no don't! It's ok!" James yelped, grabbing Harry by the shoulders. "It ...it makes sense. Salazar Slytherin is a relative of ours. All us purebloods are related. Dumbledore's probably like a grand Uncle to you. How many other people know this?"

"Everyone," Harry managed to say. "During my second year, the Dueling Club was set up …"

"Oh great," James groaned. "Well nothing can be done about that. Try not to spread it around any more though. Most people say it's a bad thing. In our family, we're indifferent to it. I mean, we know Salazar is a distant relative. We expect the odd Parslemouth now &amp; then."

"Dad?" Harry said. "I ... I didn't get it...from Slytherin."

"He's the greatest Parslemouth that ever lived &amp; we carry a drop or two of his blood," James said. "Where else would you get it from?"

"Voldemort."

James stared at him. "I know he's a Parslemouth but he's nowhere near as good as Salazar. No one is, I doubt even you." He smiled wryly. "Why do you think it's him though?"

"Dumbledore said he transferred some powers to me," Harry said so quietly, James had to strain to hear. "The night he did this." Harry pointed at his scar.

James lifted away the bangs &amp; gazed once more upon the scar. He was more confused than ever. Harry was no normal wizard &amp; he was getting stranger by the moment. He thought again of that odd Riddle diary Harry had mentioned. He looked at the scar again while thinking over what Harry had just done, speak Parsletongue, just a moment ago. Dumbledore blamed that on Voldemort? Perhaps he didn't know that Salazar was related to Harry. Out of everything, that thought seemed the simplest. Everything else just made less &amp; less sense the more James mulled over it.

James stepped away. "You do beat all Harry." He looked out the window. It began vibrating a little.

"Dad?" Harry cast a nervous glance at the window.

"I'm just letting it out," James shrugged. "I've been learning to direct any warped powers at random objects. The farther away the better since it takes more focus." The window slowly stopped. "It's a lot to take in. If you have anything else, save it for later. I need a break." James finally turned back to him. "Let's go car shopping."

"Sounds like a plan," Harry said.

"Oh I forgot," James added as they headed out into muggle London. "Later this evening, I have to finish something up with Remus for the trial tomorrow. Will you be ok for a couple hours?"

"I'll take the Lambo for a drive," Harry threatened.

"You do that, I'll freaking kill you!"

Harry just laughed at him. James gave Harry a small smack over the head to shut him up. Rubbing his head Harry said, "Harry is used to death threats sir. Harry gets them five times a day."

"Really? I have no idea why!" James said sarcastically. "What are you laughing at now?"

"I just recited something Dobby once said."

James stopped for a moment. "That house elf again?" Harry nodded. James groaned in protest, leading the way once more to the car lot.

James seemed to know where he was going. Harry figured that he had most likely staked out the place &amp; probably even picked out the car before coming back to get it. James went inside &amp; crossed the floor filled with various cars. He went through a door leading into another lot which he crossed almost to the back. He stopped in front of one dark blue, nearly black car. Harry walked into him.

"That does look like a fine car," Harry looked it over.

"Wait until you see the doors," James said, running one hand over the front of the car.

"Do you need any help?"

James &amp; Harry both quickly stepped well away from the shiny Lambo as if being caught doing something wrong. "I think we're going to buy this car," Harry said to the dealer.

The man looked him over, his eyes trailing up to Harry's brow. "Upon my word! Harry Potter! In my shop!"

"Are you ...?"

The dealer opened his jacket a bit to reveal a wand tucked away. "Half blood like you Harry. There's a rule that at least one witch or wizard will work in every place that deals with Lamborghinis. There are three of us working here. I can't believe you're interested in the cars!"

"I'm buying it as a gift for someone else actually," James said. "I'll just stick to your brooms."

The dealer laughed. "So you don't want to take it out for a test drive then?"

"I wouldn't have a clue how," James said. "I'm James Potter. Pureblood."

The dealer's smile faltered for a split second. "I've heard of you to."

Harry raised his hand. "I know how to drive."

"Do you have your license yet?" The dealer looked at him.

"No."

"Then you don't count," The dealer, as well as James, smirked at Harry who just glared. "I'm Dmitri by the way. Let's use my office so we can write up the papers for this beauty here." James followed Dmitri, still snickering, while a scowling Harry trailed behind.

Harry remained silent, looking at pictures of various cars being sold here, including other Lambos, while James &amp; Dmitri worked out the payment. It only took a few moments, then they went back to the car. Using wandless magic, James had the doors open for Harry to see. The car looked like a butterfly with open wings. Harry leaned into the door to look around, hoping Sirius would let him have a turn driving this when James wasn't around.

"Since you're buying it for another wizard, you can just shrink it," Dmitri aimed his own wand at the car &amp; it started to shrink. Harry yanked his head out just in time. Dmitri picked up the 'toy' car &amp; handed it to James. "That should do it until you deliver it."

James pocketed the thing, then grabbed Harry &amp; apparated them back to the flat. He let go &amp; rammed his head against the wall. "UGH! I don't have time for this shit right now!"

Harry just smiled at him. "Just go clean them off. I'll have something to eat ready when you get back."

"It takes a whole day to clean them," James said. "Horns get bigger every year. Besides, it's a bit soon. I usually itch for several days before it dries enough to come off. Otherwise it'll hurt more than anything else." He banged his head on the wall again. "Ohh that's going to drive me crazy. I was hoping it would start after tomorrow. Not have it during the trial. Oh well." He disappeared into the washroom &amp; Harry could hear the tap running. James soon came out, hair sopping wet. "Water helps at the start but in a few days, it'll feel like lice crawling around."

"Dad," Harry made a face.

"Well it does," James muttered. "But that's when I know that it's time for a good rub." He went into the living room &amp; put the little Lambo on the mantle, then said to Harry. "Don't touch." Harry promptly put both hands over it. "I mean it. Not one scratch!"

"Excuse me while I go to the window &amp; summon Hedwig," Harry teased. "She likes scratching Lamborghini products."

James rolled his eyes. "I have to meet up with Remus for a bit."

Harry nodded. "It'll give me time to do the homework assignments due next week." He went to grab his bag. "Don't forget to buy some Koi fillets for tonight."

With a groan, James pushed Harry forward into his bedroom. "This is why I hate everybody!"

"It's your own fault," Harry laughed as James apparated away.

Harry spread out the homework on the bed &amp; began with a Transfiguration essay for McGonagall. He also had a Herbology essay, a potion to make &amp; a Star Chart to finish within the next three nights. James was gone for a few hours so Harry forced himself to do as many of the assignments as possible, apart from the potion &amp; Star Chart, only to fall asleep on his bed on top of his essays. He jerked awake late at night, around midnight, to the sound of two low voices. Harry pulled open his half closed door &amp; looked into a dark hallway. There were no lights anywhere save for a bar of yellow under the door of James's bedroom. Harry moved silently through the hall to lean against the wall by the door to listen.

"...burn him," said a male voice Harry didn't recognize. "Nothing like a good burning. Oh we had some good ones back in my day. Just block their magic &amp; light them up!"

"Unlike some people," James snapped. "I come from a civilised era."

"Civilised? Oh yeah, really civilised!" the strange voice went on. "At least in my day, the young behaved or else."

"I'm not burning Harry at the stake," James replied coolly. Harry gaped at the opposite wall. "I'm a thousand years younger than you Ignotus. Deal with it."

"No wonder the whelp has no respect," Ignotus grumbled. "Gets it from you."

"I never said Harry has no respect," James retorted. "Where'd you get that idea?"

"You said he sits before goblins &amp; house elves," Ignotus pointed out. "That's outrageous in my day. A good burning would remove that from my pure line in no time."

James just groaned. "Can we just get back to the topic at hand?"

"Fine," Ignotus replied. It was clear he wanted to talk more about burning people.

"I'll give you a burning afterwards," James threatened. "I have a fireplace &amp; know of a great picture to toss in it." There was a moment of silence in which Harry imagined the two men glaring at each other.

"Add the ruby powder," Ignotus suddenly ordered.

"I got it!" James huffed.

"Granted, my bloodline is no longer pure," Ignotus went on, sounding wounded. "You mixing up with some mud—"

"Ignotus!" James warned.

"I'm just saying," Ignotus said. "It stayed pure for all these eons, until you ruined everything."

"Nothing wrong with being a Half-blood."

"I didn't say that," Ignotus grumbled. "Stir three times, counter—"

"I KNOW!"

There was silence as James tended to whatever potion he was making. "Well if you know," Ignotus finally went on. "Why did you bring me out? I was perfectly fine, all cozy &amp; asleep in my frame but oh no no, you can't let an old man like me rest now can you? You young ones think we have the same energy as you."

"I'm sure if I lit a fire under your seat, you'd move your old saggy arse faster than a bullet," James replied sarcastically.

"What is this? A bullet?"

Harry heard something that sounded like a hand slapping a forehead. "A really fast weapon," James answered. "You blink, it's gone. At least that's what Sirius says."

"Serious? I think I'm rather amusing actually," Ignotus sneered. "Trying to make light of the situation of my family in shambles."

"No," James sighed. "Sirius," he spelled out the name. "From the Black family. Our cousins...&amp; we're not in shambles. We just have a different outlook on things is all."

"Good, you're learning Dad," Harry muttered under breath.

"What is this word: cousins? Is that another way of saying lovers?"

James burst out laughing as Harry clapped both hands over his face to prevent himself from doing the same. "You still have a lot of the modern English to learn, my dear old grandpa."

Harry mouthed the word 'grandpa' to himself.

James explained what cousin meant, added something to his brewing potion, then finished with. "But he actually did end up being a lover of mine when I was 16. Lasted a year."

"Too bad you didn't stay with him," Ignotus complained. "Still be pureblood then."

"Then there'd be no heir to the throne," James said in a pouting mocking voice.

"Who's to say you can't have a nice ...pure...lass on the—"

"Ignotus!"

Harry could hear Ignotus saying something in another language. Judging by the tone, it didn't seem very nice. James retorted in the same language &amp; for the next few minutes, the conversation happened in an ancient language.

Silence soon fell. Harry could hear liquid being poured. Then James spoke in modern English. "I hope this works Ignotus."

"Have I ever led you astray?"

"This from the one who wants to burn my son."

"No less than he deserves."

There was a slight hesitation, then James said softly, "It's really strong. It had better work. I need this to stop."

Harry was starting to feel nervous, wondering what James was doing.

"It will take a few doses," Ignotus said.

"I really love him," James said. "But I shouldn't."

Harry raised a brow for a moment. He knew James still had something for Sirius. He could see it in little hints such as a softer tone when James spoke of Sirius. He could see it in glaring proclamations such as getting the Lambo ...for the anniversary coming up, of course. Harry wondered if James felt guilty for old feelings, perhaps since Sirius was now married to a werewolf. The potion most likely was an opposite of the common love potion. Harry heard a soft thud as if the goblet was put on the desk.

"I should go check on Harry," James suddenly said. "I think he was sleeping when I came back."

Harry bolted for his bed, tossed his homework to one side of the covers, then got into bed &amp; pretended to be asleep.

* * *

_(AN: Anyone who's ever played Final Fantasy 8 should recognize a certain name.)_


	62. Chapter 62

**(62) Lily's Notes**

Harry kept his breathing slow as he sensed James moving around his bed. He heard some parchments rustling &amp; then his door closed. He waited for a few minutes to be sure before relaxing. Feeling over his blankets, Harry knew that all his homework was gone. James must have put everything aside to clear the bed. He stared at the ceiling for a long time, thinking over the conversation. He didn't think he liked this Ignotus &amp; wondered exactly who he was. It wasn't for a few more hours before Harry finally fell asleep.

Early …or rather later…that morning, Harry awoke as he heard something that sounded like a door closing. He waited a bit before getting up but after several minutes of walking about the flat, he had the ominous feeling that he was alone. He came to the half closed door of the other bedroom &amp; slowly pushed it open. James wasn't there either. Harry went in &amp; made his way to a small desk by the window. Several books that had to do with spell reversal were stacked on the right hand side. In front of the chair lay a piece of parchment that had bits of spells written on it which were mostly crossed out. On the left hand side was what seemed to be a closed black card.

It had a faint silver marking on it that shone when the light hit it just so. It took the form of a large flower. Harry opened it up to find a wizard's picture of Lily inside. She was currently lying over a pile of large white &amp; gold cushions, sleeping. She was wearing a white dress that Harry recognised to be her wedding dress. Harry closed the portrait card &amp; put it back on the desk, then went to the kitchen. He found a note on the table.

_You sleep in like your mother it seems. I'm gone to court. Be there all day._

_~Dad_

Harry grabbed some cereal for breakfast &amp; went to the living room to start watching the tapes Lily had filmed. He put the box by the coffee table. They were labelled by date so Harry looked for the earliest date he could find, then somewhat apprehensively approached the VCR. First of all, a pureblood had set this up; though, granted Sirius was more muggle minded than anyone Harry had ever known. At least James didn't touch the thing ...Harry hoped. But secondly, a Marauder had set it up &amp; Harry's vow was to never trust them with anything again. He took his time to inspect the thing for booby traps before cautiously putting a tape in.

Amazingly, nothing happened except a gentle whirring sound as the tape began to play.

"Very funny Lily," Remus hissed softly, snatching a towel. Harry saw a few more scars that he had never seen before.

"Ray, you don't have to be self conscious with us," Lily's voice sounded from behind the camera. "It's alright. Just wave at the camera."

Remus growled at it instead. He leaned back against the railing of the boat. "I'm going back in the water."

"Sirius," the camera swung round to the front of the boat. Sirius was lounging beyond the steering wheel, lying right on the boat's tip, looking as handsome as ever. "Do you know where my water camera is? I'm going in to get some pictures."

"Under the seat," Sirius waved his hand.

The camera blinked out as if it had been turned off but then came right back on again. Sirius was now occupying its lens with his face. "I'm just going to leave this turned on. Maybe catch Lil's in the buff." He winked.

"GOOD GRIEF SIRIUS!" Harry shouted at the screen.

The camera was put down facing out over the water &amp; remained that way for a while. Harry suddenly realised what this was as the water split open without warning &amp; several dark shapes came blasting out of it. Distant screams were heard as the whales snapped their mouths shut &amp; sunk under, only to be replaced by more whales feeding. The boat rocked &amp; the camera slipped back into the hold. It was now aiming at a place under the seats before turning off.

But Harry sat gaping, his next spoonful of cereal tipping dangerously. He had just seen the whales he had read about so long ago. He wondered if Lily or James ever even knew this had been caught on tape. Did Sirius even remember?

The next clip came on.

"Ohh Prongs!" Lily was laughing. "You stupid thing!"

It was winter &amp; there was a frozen lake ... with Prongs flat on his face with his tail up in the air &amp; his antlers askew. He was right in the center of the lake &amp; couldn't move without slipping. The camera swerved to the shore where Padfoot was barking madly, then back to the hopeless stag.

"How'd you get way out there?" Lily called out to him. Prongs tried to move, but only succeeded in having his hind legs slide forward over his head as his rump came slamming down onto the ice. An owl landed on his antlers. He tried to shake it off but it just clung there like an idiot. There was a pitiful bleat as he gave up. Padfoot's barking was replaced with Sirius laughing hard. "Just don't move!" Lily went on. "Ray's coming. He'll get you off." The camera swerved back to Sirius. "As for you, I suggest you run. Just wait until that potion wears off &amp; James can shift back. He's going to murder you!"

The next few clips were Christmastime &amp; Harry began to wonder if this wasn't the inside of the house he lived in as a baby, the house his mother died in. He knew there was a lake behind it. All such thoughts were driven from his mind as suddenly he was looking up his own mother's legs from being under a table. Harry closed his eyes &amp; grunted 'Sirius' under breath. His mother's shriek told him that Sirius had been caught.

The next segment of clips seemed to be at the same house but much later.

"Shouldn't you two have a bachelor party first?" James asked, catching Sirius &amp; Remus kissing on the couch. They broke apart hurriedly.

Sirius got up &amp; came after James, stretching out his hands as if to snatch the camera. "Oy! Give it here!"

"Oh like you wouldn't try to film someone kissing," James teased. The camera jerked all over the place as he ran for it. "Or worse!"

Sirius was soon in view once more. He crossed his arms. "How does pureblood filth like you know how to work that thing anyway?"

"I don't," James laughed. "Lily's making me do this."

"Prongs give me that camera right now!"

"It's my house," James confirmed what Harry expected. "I'll film what I want."

"Don't you ever stop causing trouble Jim?" Lily came into view. She was carrying a screech owl. "It's our last spring break &amp; then we're nearly done Hogwarts for good. Grow up!"

"Let's have the wedding this summer," James said, keeping the camera firmly on Lily's face, in an attempt to change subjects. "As soon as school finishes!"

Lily stared for a moment. "What?"

"We've been engaged nearly a year," James went on. "Why not?"

Lily glanced at Sirius who was now grinning. "Sure. We'll have to start working on it right now then."

The scene changed to Peter &amp; Sirius trying to drown Remus with a garden hose. Then it switched to nighttime &amp; the pack came into view. The camera seemed to be placed in a tree to film Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot &amp; Prongs in a clearing during the full moon. The clip cut off mid-howl of Moony as the camera seemed to sway then fall most likely from a breeze.

The next clip was Lily's bachelorette party. Harry was glad that he was alone at the moment as those in the party got more &amp; more drunk &amp; did stranger things. Alice &amp; another girl named Marlene seemed to get the most wasted &amp; by now, most of the girls were in nothing but their underwear. Harry held one hand up to try seeing without seeing too much as Lily stumbled passed the screen wearing nothing but her bra &amp; skirt. But that was nothing compared to the cake Lily had to swallow. Literally. Harry had his head in both hands as Lily's cake was brought out, complete with an entirely edible penis-shape on top with a sparkler candle sticking out of it. Once the fire had burned out, Alice &amp; Marlene made Lily swallow the thing until it broke off. Harry was hanging over the arm of the couch, trying to unsee everything in his mind.

The very next scene appeared to happen the next day with most of the girls whining from hangovers. But it was Lily who was the most embarrassed. Someone had filmed her swallowing the cake &amp; was now showing it to everyone Lily ever knew, including her sister.

"It's too bad you missed the party, Petunia," a woman's voice was saying. "Your sister was awesome. Took it like a pro."

"Kill me now," Harry gulped.

"Took what?" Petunia sneered.

The camera aimed at the TV on which was playing the exact previous clips Harry had just suffered through. It suddenly swung sideways to the door as Lily came running in. "No no! What are doing Savona?!"

"Savona?" Harry wondered if that was the woman Sirius had helped.

"I'm showing it to your sister."

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO DON'T! N—" Lily plopped down into a chair at the table &amp; put her head into her arms. "I hate you!" She sobbed as the clip played while Petunia watched.

Near the end, Petunia asked, "Was it hard?"

"Yes it was hard!" Lily continued to sob into her arms.

"It was made of sugar," Savona explained. "Jim's going to be a lucky guy."

Harry groaned into his hand but was spared further horror as the tape came to an end &amp; began rewinding.

This tape has a second label: 'the wedding'. Harry spent the next two hours watching his parents wedding. It had the entire ceremony &amp; most of the party afterward. There was more of Lily's legs, as well as other girls' legs, under the tables then Harry ever thought a guy would be interested in. There was even a shot of James with a scratched face while a kitten mewed angrily in the background until Alice picked it up. The kitten was suddenly happy now that a woman was holding it. Philip's tank had been placed on the balcony &amp; the platypus bobbed in the water upside-down while someone rubbed his belly. There were many faces at the wedding Harry didn't know but it was quite obvious that half the planet's magical population had come for the event as well as many muggle friends.

The next tape started with the same day. This time, it was Sirius getting revenge on James for filming him kissing Remus. He snuck up to James &amp; Lily standing together outside. They soon broke apart &amp; James glanced around. "YOU IDIOT!" His hand covered the lens.

"Yeah how do you li—" The camera cut Sirius off by shutting down.

The next one was also outside. It passed over the lake into which the sun seemed to be setting, then slowly over the grounds strewn with flowers &amp; ribbons. Then the house came into view far behind the spread out chairs &amp; tables. There were two people standing on the balcony, one in a white dress. The other seemed to be Peter. Three different owls were perched on the railing. The zoom focused on Lily, then swung around to James.

"Well," James told the camera. He had a piece of dried pineapple in his free hand &amp; bit off some of it before going on. "Not sure what to say. Just got married today. A while ago I didn't even think that would happen." James looked away a bit, back towards the house, then looked again at the lens. "It never would have happened if it weren't for someone who helped me through a very dark time. If they ever see this, they'll understand ...so ...so thanks for that."

Harry knew it was meant for Sirius &amp; why just fine.

The next segment was Peter &amp; Sirius.

"Just stand over there Moony," Sirius pointed. "So they won't see you. Make sure you film it all."

"This is ridiculous," Remus complained.

Sirius &amp; Peter soon landed on the roof of the Potter Manor. They climbed down to the window of the second floor &amp; slipped inside. Peter then held Sirius outside the window as Sirius stretched down with this broomstick towards the door. Peter suddenly hauled Sirius inside &amp; both ducked out of sight.

James answered the door a short time later, looking like he just woke up. He stared around for a bit, then disappeared inside.

This procedure happened at least five more times until James decided to pretend going inside. The next time Sirius stretched down with the broom stick to ring the door bell, James yanked the door open. "AHA!"

"AAHHH!" Sirius screamed. He dropped his broom at the same moment Peter dropped him. Sirius plunged headfirst into a rosebush. James kicked at the rosebush then went inside for the last time.

The scene after that surprised Harry. The camera's angle seemed to be from higher up, most likely on a ledge or the mantle. James was standing in the living room in full Auror uniform &amp; fighting with a masked Death Eater. It must have been a magic charge that turned the thing on. Harry never expected to see his father in action from back in the day. They duelled furiously &amp; with a sudden punch from James, the Death Eater went down just as another one entered the room. James didn't seem to notice as he turned around, only to get punched so hard in the face, he stumbled back &amp; fell out of sight to the floor.

A spell came shooting up &amp; hit the second Death Eater in the chest. James stood up, wiping blood from his face. His nose was broken. That moment was enough for the new attacker to shove James back &amp; have him bound into a chair by a rope of magic. He raised his wand &amp; shouted "Crucio!" James grunted &amp; leaned back in his seat but the spell didn't last long as Lily appeared &amp; stunned the Death Eater from behind. She released James, then turned to bind both Death Eaters on the floor.

James stood up, holding one hand under his nose to stop the blood flow. "We need to find Dumbledore." He took his time to emphasis each word so as not to aggravate his injury.

Lily handed him a napkin. "That's the second time we dodge Voldemort. He's still just down the street."

"Second time?" Harry gasped.

Lily &amp; James each grabbed a Death Eater &amp; apparated away. The scene was now stuck on the nearly destroyed living room. Though Harry fast forwarded, it didn't seem to move &amp; eventually the tape stopped for a rewind. As he went for the next one, Harry decided to ask if James or anyone else had ever had time to watch any of these tapes.

The next tape started with James holding a cup of coffee while looking up at the camera. He seemed to be sitting outside on the porch. "Guess what Jim?" Lily's voice could be heard. "I have some good news."

"Sirius finally decided to grow up?" James teased.

"I certainly hope so," said Lily. "Since I'm pregnant."

James just stared for a long moment. "Preg—?" He dropped his mug. "A-re—Are you really?"

"Yes," Lily laughed. "Jim? Honey? Are you—JAMES!" He had just passed out. Harry burst out laughing.

Next was Sirius &amp; James sitting on the swing that was on the back porch. "So about that thing we talked about years ago," James began. "Lily just told me she's pregnant."

"She is?" Sirius exclaimed. He smiled softly, looking James over. He put a hand on James's arm. "Well that's good news." The two gazed at each other for a moment before James shyly looked away.

"Yeah ...Ye—"

Harry rewound &amp; watched that scene over. He paused to look over their faces &amp; couldn't help but think that there was perhaps some traces left of their affair. This was only a few short years since it happened after all. He thought again of the ending of the conversation between James &amp; Ignotus &amp; wondered just how much was still there.

"Yeah, it is good news," James sighed. Sirius let his arm go &amp; passed a small container of pineapple pieces as James asked, "So, you want to be Godfather?"

"Yeah &amp; Ray can be the mother," Sirius laughed. "He already acts like a den mother anyway."

"I hear it's the other way around," James took out some pineapple &amp; began eating it.

"He's lying," Sirius defended.

James suddenly looked straight at the camera. "Padfoot did you put that there?"

"No," Sirius shook his head.

They shared a look, before both said, "REMUS!"

When the camera was turned on once more, it was pointing out over the snow-covered grounds. More snow was falling in large thick flakes. An Elk was lying down in the snow, slowly becoming covered over. His horns had tinsel twisted around them &amp; a large fat rat was scampering among the points, tugging the tinsel into a better place. Prongs sighed heavily as if annoyed.

"Here, let's put this one on him," Sirius walked into view, carrying a long red &amp; gold rope of tinsel. He attempted to put it over the horns.

Prongs had enough. He lurched to his feet &amp; shook his head. Wormtail fell off. Prongs bounded towards the lake, then looked back &amp; bugled. Lily &amp; Remus burst out laughing as Sirius turned back &amp; shrugged. "Well it was worth a shot."

The next scene was James's face upside-down. "Hmm I think I know how to work this thing by now." He turned the camera over &amp; Harry had a view of the ceiling, the bedroom with a crib that had their owl perched on it, the floor, James's belt &amp; legs, then his face once more, this time right side up. But Harry rewound to the crib &amp; watched it over again, pausing when the floor came into view. It was right by the crib. Harry got up &amp; walked around the flat for nearly fifteen minutes. That had to be the spot she died on.

He slowly re-entered the living room &amp; sat down. The tape was still paused on the floor. Harry stared at it for a long time before letting it play again.

"So kid," James began. "This one's for you. Well I guess they all are, but this one is especially for you. See this place?" Harry had a much better view of his first bedroom. "It's where you'll be when you're born. I think that time will be soon 'cause you're doing some crazy shit to your mum right now. Here, I'll show you." The floor was the main point of view until all the way down stairs &amp; into the living room. "Ready Lily-kins?"

"We'll have to wait," Lily replied. "It stopped."

The scene cut to a later time. Lily was now lying on the floor &amp; she seemed to be naked except for a blanket over her hips. Her arms covered her breasts. Her expanded abdomen on the other hand was in full view &amp; it was moving. Lumps kept appearing all around it in quick succession.

James's hand came into view. "See that kid? That is you. Right there! Beating her up."

Lily laughed. "There goes my hope of any of my children not growing up to be a big bully like you."

"I don't know what you're talking about dear," James lied in a sweet voice. He then proved that he &amp; Sirius were indeed related as he made the camera pass down over Lily's bare legs before coming up &amp; zooming into her arms looking for cleavage.

"JAMES!" Lily scolded. "You trying to traumatise the poor thing?"

"What difference does it make?" James defended. "Kid's going to suck on those for the first few years anyway, right?"

"Kill me now," Harry complained. But it was a moment too soon.

Now it was Sirius &amp; Peter on their knees on the floor in front of an open cupboard while above, water was spouting upwards from the kitchen sink. Lily was standing nearby, wand pointed at the geyser, trying to contain the water.

"James? JAMES!" Lily shrieked. "HURRY UP!"

Sirius sat back on the floor. "He's the only one who seems to know how to reverse this."

"What's taking so lo—oh boy!" Peter gulped.

James walked into view. He had only a towel wrapped around his hips, dripping wet &amp; glaring. "What?" He snarled.

Lily forgot she was holding a spell &amp; let her wand hand fall. The water sprayed higher &amp; now rained down on Lily, Sirius &amp; Peter. "James, get dressed first."

"I can't," He snapped at her. "I was in the middle of a shower. Someone took my clothes. Now, do you want me to fix that thing or not?"

"I'll go look for your clothes," Lily made to move.

"Oh forget it," James snarled. "I'm already here. You two get out of my way."

Sirius &amp; Peter scooted backwards, well away from James to give him space. James came to the cupboard &amp; knelt down. Harry glanced to the floor then ceiling as whoever was filming was focusing on James's arse, that could be seen almost entirely as he crawled under the sink, stuck up in the air. However, everyone suddenly screaming &amp; swearing (including Lily), forced Harry to rewind &amp; watch to see what he missed. James was shoved into the cupboard to fix the faulty pipe. A cat came into view &amp; sat under the table, its tail twitching. It caught sight of some dangling thing from under the towel &amp; between James's legs that looked like it would be fun to play with &amp; before anyone noticed the cat was there, it pounced.

Right onto James's bits hanging down. Claws out &amp; sunk in. James had screamed so loud as he jumped with the surprise &amp; pain, cracking his head on the frame of the cupboard door so hard that he immediately collapsed to the floor, knocked out. Sirius ripped the cat off James's cock &amp; threw it away.

The camera was put on the floor &amp; Remus came into view. "He's going to feel that one in the morning."

"I think I'll take Misty," Peter picked up the cat. Misty hissed at him so he knocked her out with a stupefying spell. "Jim will kill her when he wakes up."

Harry had his head in his hands, not sure whether to laugh or cry.

When Harry finally managed to look at the TV again, he could now see a table spread with candles not yet lighted &amp; a few red petals strewn about. The camera lifted up to James. "Your mum's not feeling well these past few days. You should be getting born soon. I hope this cheers her up. What do you think?" There was a short panning over the table, then the camera was set by the sink as James washed an apple. As the sleeves of his shirt were pulled up so they wouldn't get wet, Harry suddenly had a close up view of the scars, especially the round ones. Harry remembered the trial going on right now. It was the last one. He wondered how it was going. James soon pulled away from the camera &amp; went to sit down. He tossed the apple a few times before eating it, waiting for Lily.

The video cut off soon after, so Harry put in the next one.

Lily was lying in what seemed to be a hospital bed. James sat beside her, wiping down her brow. Sirius stood nearby, having one hand on James's shoulder. Harry glanced around, having an odd feeling of what this tape was. He guessed correctly as for nearly the next hour, he watched his own birth.

It was the only thing on that tape, including what James had referred to as his official first meeting with Harry. Once Harry was born, Lily soon had him in her arms. Remus was sitting on the next bed &amp; James had just gotten up &amp; walked off screen. Harry knew that James had left since he had a phobia of hospitals. The next scene cut to James outside. Sirius was standing next to him as Lily came on sight &amp; held a baby out. James took him, holding him close.

As the group closed in, all suddenly chattering at once after James had settled with the baby in his arms, the camera had a close up shot of the baby &amp; Harry noticed that there was no scar. It felt weird, seeing himself without a scar. He knew he had a few baby pictures in his album, but had never really bothered to notice until now.

Harry looked into the box &amp; saw that he had only two tapes left. He rubbed his eyes. He had been watching non stop for nearly eight hours &amp; the VCR was hot. Harry turned it off to let it cool down &amp; went to find something to eat. He debated whether or not to ever have a girlfriend. They seemed to go through a lot just to have a child. But Harry remembered what James had once wrote. Lily had soon wanted another one. Maybe it wasn't as bad as it looked. If it weren't for Voldemort, Harry knew he would have had a little sister &amp; possibly more siblings. James had said it was the woman's choice since it was her body. Perhaps he would simply ask whoever girl he ended up with first &amp; if they said they didn't want kids, well, at least it was perfectly understandable.

Harry checked the time. It was ten passed five. He felt the VCR to make sure it was cooled off before starting on the last two tapes. The next one was entirely of Harry as a baby in every possible shot. In the first half, he was small &amp; mostly sleeping while the last half he was more active as he got older &amp; yes, throughout the whole thing, every other scene or two was of him attached to Lily's breasts. Harry planned to kill James. Sirius to ...for more leg shots.

Remus &amp; Peter took more sensible footage such as Harry's first time seeing his father switch to Prongs. He had gazed up at the stag, then stared at Lily as if to say what the hell just happened? Another scene was with Remus lying on the floor. Harry had his little hands on Remus's lips, trying to pry them open. He was saying "Sha'p Sha'p" in an attempt to say sharp. Remus raised his head &amp; growled softly, baring the fangs. Harry fell over, laughing. There was even a scene of the game Harry had read about, with Prongs pretending to attack him, then whistle, making Harry topple over, laughing; though this one was outside in the grass.

The next scene after that was James &amp; Peter walking down a street. James was pushing the stroller with Harry in it with a toy broom jammed in beside him. James caught sight of something &amp; didn't watch where he was going. He was looking right at the camera. "You look really nice today Lil—OO!" James had just rammed the stroller into the wall, which in turn jammed the handle bar into his chest. The camera shook a bit as Lily moved forward. Harry sat still in the stroller, a stunned look on his face while laughter burst out all around him.

"Thanks Dad," Harry groaned, watching James recover, rubbing his chest.

"Don't let me babysit children," James joked. "I will murder them!" He then came around the stroller to check on the baby. Harry took one look at him, then began crying loudly. "Harry I'm sorry," James said. "Don't hate me."

"Well what do you expect?" Remus picked the sobbing boy out of the stroller. "You just slammed him into a wall! There there now." He began calming Harry down. Peter took the stroller as James rubbed his chest again.

"Sorry," James muttered once more. "Didn't do it on purpose."

The image then cut to Prongs cleaning his horns. He paused to look at whoever was filming him, long bloody strips of velvet dangling from horns. He licked one half of his muzzle, then went back to rubbing.

The next shot was of James looking at a small tree that had fallen in the driveway. It seemed to be late in the fall as the branches were devoid of leaves. James switched to Prongs &amp; used his newly cleaned antlers to toss it aside. He turned to look at the camera, proudly giving his antlers a shake when—THWACK!—the tree had come crashing back down from behind, smashing the stag on the head right between its antlers.

BLAAAGH! Prongs's head went down to the ground as he was nearly brought to a kneeling position. He shook his head wildly, large ears flapping back &amp; forth.

The camera dropped &amp; Remus came running into a sideways view. "I hope you're ok 'cause that was friggen hysterical!"

Harry had to pause for several minutes until he could stop laughing. When he finally unpaused, James had shifted back as Remus slowly helped him up. James had both hands clutching his head while he hobbled away, leaning on Remus.

The image righted itself once more for the next episode.

"So Harry," Remus was walking backwards to look at the camera he was holding. He was wearing an odd shirt that seemed to be mostly black but with a dark blue front. "Guess what I'm making your father do today?" He opened the door &amp; turned the camera to film James standing in the bedroom. James was wearing the exact same thing as Remus, but his shirt was red instead of blue. "Well you look ready for that Star Trek con." The camera moved up &amp; down, getting James in full Star Trek gear, complete with boots.

"You know I prefer Star Wars," James complained.

"You look handsome Jim," Lily walked in.

"MUM!" Harry's jaw dropped. Lily was wearing the classic mini skirt. James wolf-whistled.

"I thought you liked Star Wars better?" Remus teased.

"The storyline, yeah," said James. "But I admit that Star Trek women are way hotter."

"Want a tribble?" Lily held a round plushy thing up.

Sirius showed up in the door, wearing the gold uniform. "Are we having our own Trek con in here or what? Let's go!"

For nearly most of that tape, Harry soon learned rather a lot for the first Star Trek series as pretty much the entire outing was filmed. He saw people wearing weird costumes or what he soon learned as the Starfleet uniform. Plenty of tribbles. By the end, he even knew that gold was Command rank. Blue was Science/Medical while red was Security, which was why they mostly got killed off. Several of the actors were there &amp; both Remus &amp; Lily at least were sure to get an autograph from each one.

The next recording was of James in the large master bedroom by himself. He was wearing a different costume &amp; Harry was about to wonder which aspect of Star Trek it came from, when James held up a lightsaber. "Well Harry, I'm sure you've had your fill of Trek with all that. I like it, but I like being a Jedi more." At that he twisted around with the lightsaber similar to Obi-Wan-Kenobi. It even made the humming sound.

Afterward, James pointed the tip of the lightsaber close to the camera. "Remember Harry. Keep your phasers on stun &amp; always use the force." He then gave his lightsaber a little shove. The camera fell to the floor. "Whoops!" James lay down so his face filled the screen. "Buuuut do know your strength."

The next scene was of James &amp; Harry on the floor playing with a plush dinosaur. "Hey you two," Lily's voice spoke. "I have some news. I'd like to think of it as good news."

James lay on his back next to Harry to look up at Lily. "Well let's hear it &amp; decide."

"Ok, well," Lily sighed, zooming in on Harry who was focused only on his dinosaur. "I'm pregnant again."

James lay silent for a moment, before slowly pushing himself up to half-sitting position, leaning back on his hands. "Mhm. I see."

"Jim what are we going to do?"

Harry put his sandwich down, confused. Judging from his father's reaction the day he had returned to them alive, he had thought his sister was wanted. James had seemed upset that she had died.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about that actually," said James. "Dumbledore's starting to hint about us ... um ...going into hiding."

"What?"

"Voldemort's after Harry," James stood up. "I didn't want to tell you like this but he wants Harry dead."

"What?" Lily gasped. "No! Why?"

"Not sure," James shrugged. "I've been looking into it &amp; thinking maybe the Fidelus Charm. It'll only be until they catch Voldemort. It shouldn't be too long. I mean, the war's getting pretty intense."

Harry picked up his sandwich again. It wasn't that they didn't want her. It was that she came at the worst time.

"Do you think it will be over by the time this one's born?"

"How far along are you?"

"Just about two weeks."

"Oh yeah," James nodded. "I would think so."

"You have no idea," Harry muttered. If it was two weeks, then they only had one last month together. James had said in his diary that Lily was six weeks along.

"So when are we going under then?"

"I have some plans to make about that," James said. "Also I have something to finish off for Dumbledore. He said we should go into hiding by mid-October at the latest though." He looked at Harry for a moment. "Let's not tell anyone until we can return."

The camera switched to a new scene. It was in Harry's bedroom with Lily holding him while rocking back &amp; forth. Harry was crying for something.

"Lily I can't find it!" James came in. "I've looked everywhere."

"He won't go to sleep without his dinosaur," Lily said. "Have you tried upstairs in the attic?"

"What would it be doing up there?"

"Padfoot likes to hide it you know," Lily laughed at him.

James turned on his heel to leave. "I HATE that guy!"

When he was long gone, Lily held Harry up. He had stopped crying for a bit when he had heard his father's voice but if that damn dino didn't show up soon, he'd let them both have it. "Pay him no mind, little one. Your Dad loves Sirius very much." She snickered, pulling Harry close again as he was just about ready to pull another tantrum. She looked at the crib with a faraway gaze.

Harry's second half of his sandwich dropped to the floor. He rewind &amp; watched it again. Then he paused it on her face. "She knew." Harry sat back in his seat. "Guess they told you then."

"I can't find it!" James had come back in, rubbing his head. Harry remembered that his own diary had fallen on him. As if on cue, the baby Harry started crying again at the news.

"Well," Lily tried to shush the baby. "I'll go have another look in the kitchen."

"I'll go crack some walnuts," James said. "I'll try to think of where it could be. Hey it might actually be outside!" He disappeared.

The camera cut to Lily coming back in with Harry &amp; the dinosaur at last. "I can't believe your Godfather stuffed it under the seat of his motor bike," Lily told Harry as she put him down. Then she glared at the camera. "It's all on tape Sirius! We found the dinosaur." She pointed at the camera. "GUILTY!" Then she rubbed her head. "I am not feeling well enough for this. I'm going to get some tea. But I'm not finished with you Sirius." She glanced down at Harry finally asleep in the crib, then walked out.

Harry was in the process of laughing when it hit him. Lily had left the camera on. Did his father know? He knew what was coming thanks to Passion Year. Harry's glass of milk joined the half sandwich on the floor. "Please know it's on!"

James walked in a moment later. He stood before the crib, looking down at a sleeping Harry. He had the fingertips of his left hand pressed to his lips &amp; looked close to tears. Harry had both hands over his mouth. He knew this was not meant to be watched. He knew what was coming. He knew that was Sirius's kiss James was holding. He did not seem to know how to stop the video.

James stepped away from the crib, pulling his fingertips away. He glared at them, then for the first time in his life, he wiped off Sirius's kiss. "How could he do this to me?" James snarled, crying softly at last. He turned away from the crib &amp; began fumbling at the cuff of his left hand. "I'll never forgive him for this. Never!" He passed his right hand over the gnarled flesh on the underside of his left forearm, then pulled out &amp; raised his wand.

"DAD NO!" Harry yelped. Too late, the wand came down &amp; blood spurted out. Harry turned his face away at the same time James cried out with the pain of the cut. One hand over mouth, Harry slowly recovered. He had just witnessed the power of love James had for Sirius that he had only ever read about. Harry tried to focus on that instead. But no matter what, he couldn't deny it. He had also just seen his father cut.

James stood still, holding his arm up to watch the blood spilling out. He had cut across the veins in a long deep cut. James gritted his teeth against the pain as his blood flowed over the edges of split flesh to drain in small streams to the floor. He suddenly looked behind him. He stared in shock as Harry gazed up at him. "Da!" Harry held his hands out, repeating the word.

James gasped &amp; clasped his right hand to his mouth, shaking his head. "Hold on little one!" James ran off screen. Harry looked crestfallen for a moment, then started calling out even louder. "Yeah, I'll be right there!" James soon returned, arm bandaged &amp; the sleeve roughly pulled over to hide it. He picked Harry up. "I'm so sorry. I have issues." He held Harry close for a while. "I hope you never know the horrors I know." Harry stared up at him as he whistled like a Stag.

Harry watched part of the very game he had read about but the tape cut off as it came to the end. He put his hands over his eyes &amp; groaned, still not believing what he had seen. Harry got up &amp; paced. It's all over. It had happened years ago. Harry doubled over, face in hands. He knew that if James had known this had been recorded, he would have never handed that tape to Harry.

He couldn't get the image out of his mind. The raised wand. James's cry of pain. The blood. The uncountable other old scars along that arm that James had slashed right across. Harry put a hand on his chest. His heart was pounding so hard that it felt ready to leap out. Part of Harry wondered if he should talk to his father about it, but he dreaded bringing up the subject. It might push James to cut again if he knew what had been on the end of that tape.

Harry came back to the living room &amp; looked into the box, staring at the last tape. He turned away &amp; busied himself picking up his spilled milk. Unable to use magic outside of school, Harry worked at washing it out of the carpet the long way, with a wet cloth &amp; water. When he was done, he knelt there, staring at the wet spot. The work hadn't done a thing for him. He had hoped it would distract him but he only dwelled on that scene more &amp; more. Harry suddenly burst into tears. He had to talk to someone about what he had witnessed. Not James! But perhaps Sirius. After all, Sirius was the one who dealt with James when the cutting had started. But Sirius was rash. He would no doubt confront James which in turn would make James fret over the tape.

Lily. Harry remembered the bridal photo in his father's bedroom. He'll talk to her.

On deciding to talk to his mother about, Harry soon calmed down. He got up to put the cloth away, then took that tape &amp; put it in his bag at the bottom in the hopes that James wouldn't find it. He looked at the window, seeing little. It was slowly getting dark now &amp; Harry knew James should be coming back soon. Harry washed his face &amp; tried to look normal. He thought about that last tape &amp; wondered if it had any horrors of the past. He knew it wasn't on purpose. Most of the tapes were comical. There. That's what he needed. He grabbed the last tape &amp; put it in.

Sirius came on screen. "So Harry, we won't see each other for a while. You're all going into hiding tomorrow. I've come up with a plan to keep you all safe, don't worry. But I don't know how long you have to hide. Could be a few months. Could be years." Sirius looked away for a bit. He looked into the lens again &amp; forced a smile. "Just in case, I have a duty as your Godfather. See this?" The camera panned around what appeared to be a bridge over a stream gushing into the harbour. "That's where Titanic parked before leaving for her doom. We're in France right now since Remus..." Sirius paused, seeming distracted. He quickly wiped his eyes. "Ah. This salty air is killing me. Hang on." Sirius put the camera on the railing to aim out over the ocean. Harry had a feeling it wasn't the air. He knew Sirius &amp; Remus had a long drawn out fallout in the weeks leading up to the whole mess with Azkaban. The camera was soon picked up once more. "Anyway, we're checking up on his mother. She's really sick right now. In the meantime, I'm going to tell you a bit about women. The French maids come to this bridge sometimes in the late evening. So I'll film them for you to see the anatomy of women."

"The anatomy of wo—oh this can't be good!" Harry groaned.

The scene was soon filled with young women all standing against the railing of the bridge to look out at the sea. All were naked. Sirius would zoom in on various parts &amp; Harry decided it would be best if he picked a spot near the TV to pretend to look while not really looking at all.

"Do they even know you're filming them?" Harry huffed.

"Oh look!" Sirius had swung the camera around to somewhere else. "Of course, you may grow up to like guys, so let's do a little of that to."

"I'm so telling Dad about this one!"

Sirius got some close ups of a few young men as well, before putting the lens on his on face. "So yeah, that's the sex talk basically."

"UGH!" Harry tossed himself back across the couch, clapping both hands over his eyes. "I'm going to send you back to Azkaban!"

The video soon turned to the classic snowy screen. Harry stared at the floor, letting it play to the end until it rewind itself. He got up &amp; wandered into his father's bedroom to pick up the bridal photo. Harry sat on the bed &amp; opened it.

Lily was rearranging her hair. "Hi Jim," Lily said distractedly as she put her clip back in.

"Hi Mum."

Lily dropped her clip &amp; looked up at Harry. She pushed herself back against the cushions. " ...Harry?" He nodded silently. Lily looked him over. "Jim's told me so much about you. He usually keeps me with him all the time."

"He's out on some business," Harry said.

"Yeah he never brings me to the court room," Lily drew her legs up to hug them. She rested her chin on her knees. "Whenever I find myself on the desk, I know where he's gone."

"It's the last trial."

Lily sat up sharply. "Is it?" She gasped. "Finally! Jim's been waiting many years for this day." She suddenly stared at him. "Wait a minute. You know?" Harry nodded silently again. Lily put both hands over her mouth for a moment. "You poor thing! But I guess you would find out anyway, once those trials had started."

"Oh I knew before that," Harry said. "He had written a bit of a diary when he was 16. I ...erm...found it."

"He wrote about ... oh that man!" Lily rubbed her brow. "Well, at least it's nearly over." She looked Harry over again. "I'm glad to finally see you though. How are you doing?"

"I want to kill Sirius," Harry said. Lily stared at him. Harry explained the 'sex talk' tape. "I'm going to tell Dad about that one when he gets back."

"Yet everyone wonders why I was against making that jerk your Godfather," Lily had crossed her arms.

"You were?"

"Oh yeah!" Lily snapped. "I'd rather have Remus or Peter, but Jim told me while we were still just engaged that he had promised Sirius even before they first started Hogwarts."

"So you don't like Sirius then?" Harry asked.

"I like him just fine," Lily checked her nails. "Just not as Godfather material." She focused again on Harry. "Jim told me about Azkaban. I'm glad Sirius got out of that ... with your help, I hear."

"That diary Dad wrote actually helped me figure out Siruis was innocent," explained Harry.

Lily sighed heavily. "I guess things happen for a reason. But that still doesn't excuse him from some things," she went on. "You be sure to tell Jim about that tape!"

"I will," Harry half-laughed.

"So did you watch any of the others?"

"Y-yeah," Harry stammered, wondering how to proceed. "I need to … to talk to you ...about another one of them."

Lily smiled softly. "Ah, I think I know which one. Well I or Jim should have been the one to give you that talk, not Sirius. Jim told me that I had your birth filmed &amp; why. We were all supposed to watch it together when you reached a certain age &amp; explain things to you. So you saw that one then?"

"Yeah," Harry said. "But that isn't the one."

"Come on Harry," Lily pouted. "I'm your mother, well going to be. Close enough. You can ask me anything."

"I've already decided to ask whoever I end up with if she wants it or not," Harry waved it away. "It's her problem, not mine. There's another tape. One that shouldn't have been filmed. I can't tell Dad about it. He could come to harm."

"What do you mean?"

"If I mention it to Sirius, he will certainly confront Dad about it &amp; he'll still get hurt," Harry went on. "There was a day I lost some toy. You had the camera on in my bedroom. My toy was found later, under the seat of the motorbike. You threatened Sirius on camera about talking to him later, then said you had a headache &amp; was going to get some tea. You were pregnant again at the time."

"Jim told me I was going to have two children."

Harry stared at her, trying to come up with the words. "Then you walked out ...&amp; ...&amp; then Dad walked in." He laid the picture aside on the bed. "He ...He didn't—" He buried his face into the pillow.

"HARRY!" Lily yelled, alarmed. "What's wrong?"

"He...he didn't know!" Harry gasped. "You left it on. He didn't know."

"Know what?" Lily demanded. "Harry, what is going on?"

"He cut," Harry whispered in one breath.

"Cut what?"

"Mum!"

They stared at each other. "Oh," Lily clued in. A long moment passed before either spoke again. Lily leaned forward, seeing into the past. "Harry ...Jim had...he started..." She looked away from Harry. "If I had known something like that got filmed, I know that I'd have deleted it! I'm sorry. It's my fault. I should have turned off my camera if I planned to leave it behind. When was this?"

"I was about a year old," Harry said. "Asleep in the crib with my toy after it was found. He had come to check up on me, then made another cut. A really big, deep one."

"He did?"

"He cut it along all the little ones he usually did," Harry nodded "That's how big it was &amp; he bled quite a bit &amp; the whole thing was caught on camera."

"Oh Harry!" Lily gasped. "I'm so sorry you saw that!"

"He had to cover the wound with a bandage."

"He started that when he was 16," Lily began.

"I know," Harry nodded. "Suicidal first."

"You know way too much," Lily shook her head sadly.

"I got most of it from that diary," Harry shrugged. "He wrote about the cutting. I also happened to see them when he had to show the scars to Minister Fudge once. There's a lot, Mum."

"I know," Lily said. "He should NEVER have cut in front of you."

"It was on tape."

"So were you as a baby, didn't you just say that?"

"I was asleep," Harry said.

"I don't care!" Lily punched one of the cushions. "He shouldn't do it at all &amp; certainly not around you!"

"Mum, calm down!"

"No I will not calm down."

"He was really messed up back then," Harry defended. "I was asleep. He said once that he would never cut in front of me if he knew I was awake. He never has."

"IS HE STILL DOING THAT?"

"Now?" Harry said. "I don't think so. I doubt it. Not so long as Sirius is free again. But if he found out about this tape," he gave Lily a pointed look. "He might try that again."

Lily pushed some red bangs out of her eyes. "If my parents knew how messed up he was, they never would have allowed me to marry him. But I knew what I was getting into. I knew he was unstable but I married him anyway. I wanted to help him. No matter what anyone told me, I wouldn't abandon him. He got better! I can see it now."

"He'd get even better if he'd accept therapy," Harry explained how James had refused when the Ministry offered.

Lily smiled softly. "Just wait until we're rid of Orion. He might go to a therapist after that."

"Dad should be back soon," Harry suddenly remembered. "I should go."

"Ok," Lily said. "Harry, thanks for talking to me."

"Oh one more thing," Harry added. "Do you know who Ignotus is?"

"Ignotus? No, never heard of that name."

Harry sighed, then put the photo back on the desk then went to the living room again. "You're finished today Orion!" He snarled low. He looked at the pile of tapes. The collection of films had brought Passion Year to life in a way Harry didn't expect. At last, he put all the tapes back in the box (except the one he was hiding) &amp; switched off the TV. James would be back any minute, so Harry tried to make himself look, feel &amp; sound as normal as possible.

"This court will now finish with the sentencing of Sirius Lupin, James Potter, then Orion Black," Fudge was saying. "Mr Lupin? For your charges of pre-meditated murder, accomplice to an attempted murder &amp; covering it up, we would normally sentence you to three years in Azkaban. However, as you have already spent twelve there, consider your debt pre-paid."

"Thank you sir," Sirius gasped in relief as James lifted his head a little, slightly glaring. He didn't appreciate the threat, empty as it was.

"Mr Potter," Fudge went on. "Due to the conclusion of Orion Black's trails, your charges have been cleared completely." A cheer went up from the court. "You acted in self defence."

"Yes I did," James declared.

"Would the both of you please clear the floor?" Fudge waited as Remus led James &amp; Sirius up into the rows of seats. When they had sat down, with James in the middle, Fudge addressed the two other Aurors still standing below. "Bring in Orion Black."

Once Orion was seated, Fudge began. "You have been charged with several heinous crimes," He rattled off the whole list. "You have been found guilty—" The entire court apart from Fudge were on their feet for several minutes. When they had settled, Fudge tried again. "Erm ...you Orion Black, have been found guilty of all charges. Have you anything to say before sentencing?"

"Nothing at all," Orion actually smiled softly.

"Very well," Fudge sighed. "You are hereby sentenced to a Dementor's Kiss." Another roar of applause. "You will be held in Azkaban until your sentence is carried out. James Potter has requested his rights of final words &amp; to observe your sentence. This case is officially closed. Dismissed."

The court was once again on their feet while Sirius &amp; Remus held onto James. Orion calmly allowed the Aurors to lead him out. He looked back at the stands. James glanced in his direction &amp; their eyes met. Orion smiled softly at him &amp; James returned it just as the Aurors pushed Orion through the door &amp; away from the court.

"You ok?" Sirius asked, his voice giddy.

"Yeah," James gasped. "I'm fine!" He was remarkably, quiet, compared to the rest of the crowd.

"Come on," Remus tugged on both of them. "Let's get you out of here before they all start trying to grab you."

"I think this calls for a party," Sirius said as they ushered James along.

"Good idea," Remus said. "Muggle style to. Away from this lot. What do ya say Prongs? Shall we hit the streets of London?"

"Sure," James laughed.

The three of them entered London's streets, avoiding wizarding lot as much as possible. Remus brought them to a bar &amp; restaurant where they stayed for nearly two hours, sharing a large meal &amp; more than enough drinks for all of them.

"We did it," Remus said as he sat back.

"Yeah," James nodded, pouring out more wine for all three of them.

"Jim are you sure about this?" Sirius asked. "You seem rather quiet for just gaining a great victory like this."

"Oh I am fine!" James stated. "Hmm as fine as this wine ... &amp; dine!"

"He's drunk," Remus whispered out the corner of his mouth to Sirius, who nodded with a short laugh.

"Just very relieved is all," James went on.

"Probably a bit of shock to," Remus added.

"Actually, I'm furious."

Remus looked James over. "Why? You got the sentence we all wanted."

"Not Orion," James said as he looked at Sirius. He added in a rather snippety voice. "I guess we'll have to come up with more crimes for you to fill your other nine years you spent in Azkaban."

"At least my time wasn't totally wasted," Sirius muttered. "If they had put me back ..."

"Oh that would never have happened," James said. "I'd have taken them all out before they got to you. You'll never go back so long as I'm alive."

"Thanks Jim," Sirius said. "But don't cause any trouble with the Ministry."

"Oh I'll cause trouble," James replied lividly. "I am going to make them pay for what they did to you."

"Jim," Remus started.

"No, I mean it!" James slammed his wine goblet on the table. "I was only cooperating with them to get rid of Orion. But I don't need them any more. I'll never help the Ministry again. Threatening another three years? I won't have it. I won't have it I tell you!" He thumped the table with his fist. "I actually left my Auror's license at the front desk."

"YOU DID WHAT?" Remus demanded.

"I'm not working for them any more," James answered. Ignoring his half-finished goblet, he chugged the wine left in the bottle instead. He caught Sirius's eye. "They had no right to even suggest giving you three years. I'll never forgive them for what they did to you!"

"Jim—"

"I don't need them anyway," James cut Sirius off. "If ever any other war comes up, I'll just go vigilante style."

"But—"

"I don't need the Ministry Sirius," James wasn't listening. "Why would I? Not like I need the money."

/Don't engage him right now./ Remus opened their link. /He's drunk, mad &amp; who knows what he's going through now that this mess with Orion is over./

/He probably won't even remember this come tomorrow./

"Good point," Sirius managed a laugh. "You're among the richest in our world. Harry's basically like a prince."

James swore loudly &amp; jumped to his feet, nearly falling over in the process. He grabbed the edge of the table for support. "I forgot about him!"

"What?" Sirius looked up at James.

"Harry." James rushed to put his coat on. "Sorry guys! I forgot that Harry's in my flat. He's been alone all day."

"Oh!" Remus got up as well, followed closely by Sirius. "He's fine. I'm sure he's fine!"

"I forgot my own kid!" James snarled. "You blithering idiots got me drunk &amp; I have to go home like this. What's Harry going to think?"

"He'll probably hate you," Sirius said.

"Run away most likely," added Remus.

James glared at them. "Good night!" He stumbled out into the darkening street &amp; disappeared.

The moment he was gone Remus said, "Sirius we should get to the Ministry &amp; find Jim's license. Hopefully we can just pass it off as him being excited over the end of the trials &amp; simply misplaced it." They went outside &amp; into the back alley, then grabbed each other by the hand &amp; apparated away.

Harry looked around, hearing a pop. James staggered into the living room. "Hi Dad. How'd it go?"

"He's getting the Kiss later," James said.

"It's about time!"

James smiled softly. "Uh Harry. Sorry. I didn't mean to be gone this long."

"It's fine," Harry shrugged. "I thought it would take a while anyway, being the last one."

"Oh it was finished hours ago," said James. "I've been out with Sirius &amp; Remus for a whi—AYE! ." He shrieked in surprise as he suddenly landed on the floor instead of the couch.

Harry leaned over &amp; sniffed. "Hmm, I do believe you're drunk."

"Shut up!" James grumbled, pulling himself onto the couch as Harry laughed. "Don't copy your father in this state."

Harry did a double-thumb up. "Such a good example to me."

James rolled his eyes so much that his whole head rolled back against the top of the couch. He grunted sharply as the impending hangover pounded in his head. "I'm going to pay for this one in the morning." He closed his eyes, breathing deeply.

"Uh … Dad?" Harry leaned over him again but sure enough, James was passed out. Harry left to find a blanket, as well as a place to laugh without disturbing James. He covered James with a blanket &amp; then went to his own bed.

* * *

_(AN: The apple is totally a Star Trek rip off of "James" Kirk both in the old movies as well as the new one. _

_The bachelorette party actually happened to a friend of mine; though, hers was her birthday party instead, but the cake &amp; sugar penis is on tape…&amp; our facebook walls…for all to see. The incident with the stroller also happened to a woman I work with._

_Also the broken water sink &amp; the cat pouncing is a real event to. Don't know who it was but it was a story I received in email years ago. The difference is that the guy was fully naked since he couldn't find a towel either. I added that for James though since considering what happened to him, he might not have come down at all otherwise without feeling very uncomfortable.)_


	63. Chapter 63

**(63) Chamber Of The Condemned**

James was so hung over the next day that Harry at last got to make breakfast for him instead as well as a potion he never even heard of. James had handed Harry his old potion book &amp; half-guided Harry to make the Detoxify one. It took only twenty-seven minutes to make.

Harry looked through the potion book while the one he was making was simmering. He found many hand written notes in the book, some ingredients were crossed out to be replaced by other ones. Some instructions were changed. Harry closed the book &amp; handed it back.

"I guess I get it from Mum then," Harry said.

"Get what?"

"I'm terrible at potions," Harry said. "You seem to be a master at them."

James smiled weakly, still fighting a hangover. "No I'm the one who's useless. I nearly failed being an Auror because of it. Lily's the smart one. This was her book actually."

"So all those notes ..."

"Hers? Yeah," James said as he took a mug of his Detoxify potion. "She had a real knack for remixing the ingredients &amp; even finding other substances to replace the traditional ones that made it better." He downed half of what was in the mug before going on. "I'm better at spell-casting. I've made a few of my own. Transfiguration comes easily to me, probably 'cause of Prongs." He gingerly sat down, rubbing his face with both hands. "Those idiots really got me trashed last night. I think it's more Sirius's fault though."

Harry laughed before saying, "There's something you need to know about Sirius. Something he filmed." He handed over the tape when he finished explaining.

"I told you that's what I hired him for," James replied.

"Dad he filmed naked girls...&amp; guys to," Harry tried again.

James finished his potion. "I wouldn't expect anything less from the likes of him." He looked Harry over. "Alright alright. I'll mention it. So how'd you like the other tapes?"

"They were great," Harry started, describing a few of them.

"I have yet to see them," James said. "I've always wondered what all went on them." Harry was glad he had taken the one tape with James cutting.

The remainder of the spring break went by too fast for Harry. They had spent some time with Remus &amp; Sirius in the last days. Sirius had even picked up the 'toy' Lambo having no clue that it was an actual car. James wasn't going to let on what it actually was until the summer. Both he &amp; Harry fought hard to not laugh as Sirius put the car back on the mantle &amp; soon forgot about it.

As evening fell on the last night, Harry found himself slightly not wanting to go back to Hogwarts yet for the first time in his life. He had liked it here. No Vernon. No Petunia. No Snape. In fact, Snape was in for a surprise. Harry had tricked James into doing his homework potion since his father could use Lily's book &amp; was confident that he would turn in the best potion in the whole class, for once.

Harry was dreading having to go to bed even, knowing he had to get up early to go back to school. He took his time packing up, which probably wasn't necessary as he had to scour the whole flat to make sure he had found everything. He had finally managed to get it all into the bedroom &amp; began sorting his bag properly so all would fit. The Firebolt lay across the bed, needing some polish again since James had brought Harry to a Quidditch Pitch anyone could use that was just outside London &amp; the two of them had played one-on-one Quidditch. It had been the first time for James to play the role of Seeker again since he &amp; Harry had taken turns. Harry stood straight, cracking his back, as he looked everything over for the last time. He glanced at the door, then jumped a bit, seeing James standing there watching him, book in hand.

"I guess it's about time I read you that story," James said.

Harry followed James into the living room only to have the most bizarre story ever told him. When James had finished, he closed the book &amp; put it aside. In the back of his mind, Harry dimly remembered that James had said a few days ago that this story was in fact, real. But how could that be so? "That's a book of children's fairytales, right?"

"By now," James said. "That story is slightly embellished now, for children, but the essence is still there. It was first written by one of those brothers over a thousand years ago. Then it was translated into a different language, then left behind, then found again. Then Beetle the Bard reworked it for his book here."

"But there's no spell to bring back the dead," Harry protested. "That Stone can't be real or else we could have Mum back."

"No we couldn't," James said. "It's effects are only temporary. As you heard, those who are dead don't belong here anymore if they have fully accepted their fate. If not, then they become ghosts, but still not fully alive again." He leaned over &amp; pulled a picture frame out from under the couch they were both sitting on. "Here," he handed it to Harry. "That's Ignotus Peverell. The youngest of the three brothers."

"He's the one who got the cloak," said Harry.

"The same one you have."

"Hmm is this the whelp then?"

"Ignotus!"

"I'm just asking."

Harry shook the picture frame hard until Ignotus moaned, putting a hand to his head. "You have a problem with me?"

"You're a half blo—"

"Ignotus!" James groaned.

"He's not very nice," Harry remarked.

"I can assure you I'm the perfect gentleman," Ignotus sneered.

"My grandfather Charlus is way better than you," Harry retorted, unimpressed. "He's my favorite in this family."

"Is that supposed to bother me somehow?"

Harry glared at him, then looked at James. James said, "Pay him no mind. He's old &amp; senile, even for a picture. Grumpy old codger. I know where you're buried, remember?" Ignotus scowled as Harry laughed.

"Of all the ..." Ignotus grumbled. "Excuse me!" With that, he marched out of the frame into some other picture.

"Ohh I get a walk off the frame again," James pretended to pout. A wrinkled hand reappeared in the frame, making a rude sign with one of its long gnarly fingers. "Hey you are WAY too old for that. Who taught you that?"

"Charlus," the voice of Ignotus replied as he stepped back for a moment.

"That's why Grandpa Charlus is my favorite in this family," Harry snickered, ignoring the look from James.

Ignotus arrogantly lifted his chin, glaring at Harry. "I'll have you know, your finger sign is a far cry from what we did in my day." His hands began pulling at his belt. "This is how we showed our displea—"

_**"IGNOTUS!"**_ James shrieked as Harry slammed the picture face down. After a moment, he hesitantly lifted up the frame. Both he &amp; James dared to peer at the picture. Ignotus 'harrumpfed' as he left the frame completely, stark naked, carrying all his hides &amp; leather that he wore piled up in his arms with his horned helmet perched precariously on top. A small sword fell off &amp; clanked along the floor of the otherwise empty picture frame. James buried his face in one hand. "Welcome to the family Harry."

Harry shook his head, gaping. When he recovered, he asked, "So where did Ignotus go &amp; can you please tell me that I'm adopted? Please?"

"Sorry. No you're not adopted," James managed a short laugh. "He's just going to his other picture that's in the Peverell mansion."

"In Godric's Hollow?" Harry asked. "So did Mum meet him then?"

"No Harry, the Peverell mansion," James said. "She never even knew of that house. The Potter Manor is just a small thing compared to what my inheritance actually is. I had planned to move back there with her, after we would come out of hiding. The Potter Manor is something my Dad set up when he had to change our name for a bit. That's all Lily knew. I'll bring you to the Peverell mansion this summer, on your birthday. Ignotus is there along with many of our ancestors. The halls are lined with pictures &amp; you'll be surprised at some of whom we're related to."

Harry handed the empty frame back. "So you're saying that Ignotus is the same brother in that story who had the cloak?"

James nodded. "That's him &amp; you're direct from him."

"You won't hear me boasting of that any time soon," Harry cast a horrified look at the frame.

"You'll get used to him," James smiled. "He's from a thousand years ago, remember? He's just your regular Barbarian."

Harry looked like he thought the word Barbarian was too kind. "So where are the other two families?"

"Well, both Antioch &amp; Cadmus died soon after," James said. "Antioch had no heir so it's really hard to keep track of his Elder wand. But Cadmus had left behind one son &amp; so that line filtered down through the ages. But not as well as Ignotus. We're still standing strong now. Just two of us but we at least, can trace our tree all the way back to Ignotus &amp; we even have his body buried in the same cemetery my parents are ...along with Lily."

"So some of those Peverells in the cemetery could come from Cadmus?"

"I'm not sure," James shrugged. "There were a lot of girls there, so that name changed a lot due to marriages. It's harder to trace than we are but not impossible."

"So when you said that you sometimes think you see a sign of the other families ..."

"My Dad &amp; I had worked on tracking the Stone again at least," James said. "Dad told me all this when I was eleven. He wanted to have all three Hallows in our line since the other two seem to be bloody idiots who keep losing their inheritances. But I haven't been bothered to pick up that search for many years. So who knows now?"

"What about the wand then?"

"No body knows," James said. "It keeps disappearing. It will most likely show up where a lot of bloodshed happened. It has many names by now, but our family always call it by its rightful name: the Elder wand."

"So the wand kills?"

James laughed. "Any wand can kill, even yours. It isn't the wand but the user. The wand is often stolen due to the idea that it's supposed to be the most powerful in our world. Who do you think likes having power?"

"Voldemort," said Harry.

"The majority of Elder bearers are Dark witches or wizards, but you'll occasionally get a good owner for it &amp; then, the thing just falls off the page of history."

"Well this does seem rather far-fetched," Harry began.

"Alright, you come up with an explanation for our Cloak?"

"I don't even know what makes Invisibility Cloaks in the first place," Harry said.

"Don't have to as ours is not the same material," James said. "I was brought to the Peverell mansion first &amp; Dad told me everything then. There are a lot of things in that mansion to back this all up. You'll see for yourself on your birthday. For now," He stood up. "You should get to bed. Back to school tomorrow."

"Don't remind me," Harry muttered, getting up to go to his room. "Dad, why do you keep Ignotus around?"

James laughed softly. "He's a thousand years old. Cut him some slack. Different customs back then. But he's been in the Peverell mansion all these ages &amp; learned the language of the times as it changed through history. Ignotus has valuable insight into our history as well as knowledge of lost spells that most people don't even know about today. He isn't that bad once you get to know him. A thousand years would make one very set in their ways."

"Do we have to learn his original tongue?"

"No but if you want to know what he bitches about when he speaks his own language," James began.

"I heard that!" came a muffled reply from under the couch.

With a loud grunt for emphasis, James kicked the couch. "You can pick up some of that language in our Peverell diary."

"Well I don't like him," Harry replied stubbornly.

"I don't have much love for you either," Ignotus countered. "Impure whelp." Harry snarled like a werewolf.

James just laughed. "That's the way things are when one first meets Ignotus. He takes some warming up to."

"That will take a long time," Harry said. "I'm like iceberg-for-Titanic cold over here &amp; I won't be melting any time soon."

"A good burning would warm him up."

"IGNOTUS!" James groaned. "SHUT UP!" He led Harry to the bedroom. "That's where the Blacks get their tempers from. They're not direct from Ignotus or his brothers but some Peverell blood is filtered down into their family through marriages. The bad temperamental blood. They perfected it, so when my mother married back into the Peverell line, I got a good dose of the famous Black temper."

Harry still wasn't impressed when he went to bed. Waking up the next morning, he still thought Ignotus was a stuck-up crotchety old bastard. James apparated them both to the gates of Hogsmeade in time for breakfast at Hogwarts (since it was a prearranged trip, they didn't have to stop at the borders again). James left right after breakfast as Harry went to his first class. Harry suddenly turned back &amp; ran to catch up to James in the Entrance Courtyard. He glanced around to see if they were alone before speaking. "Dad? You know ...um ...it's good you have Sirius."

"Yeah he takes care of me," James smiled. "So does Remus. Like a pair of mother hens really."

"Don't let Sirius go."

"What are you talking about?" asked James. "I'd never abandon him, unlike some people. The Ministry is going to regret what they did."

Harry didn't know what else to say. He didn't like Ignotus &amp; he didn't like overhearing about that potion that James made under the old coot's guidance, but if it had anything to do with destroying what had happened between Sirius &amp; James, Harry knew it couldn't be any good. He nodded shortly &amp; turned back to the doors. "Bye Dad."

"See you in the summer," James headed for Hogsmeade.

Harry had two more months of school to look forward to, as well as the final Task on June 24th. At the Task before, Sirius, Remus &amp; James had all planned to be there for the final one coming up but after what happened with the last Task, being underwater &amp; therefore not very viewable at all, Harry wondered what would happen.

Harry did expect to get his Map back by then though &amp; prove those idiotic Marauders wrong. He had visited Moody for a long serious talk, explaining it was a family heirloom. Moody had said he'd return it on the last day but for now while he was at Hogwarts, it was a good idea to keep 'constant vigilance' in the meantime. Harry had dared to ask for an oath on his magic &amp; amazingly, Moody agreed. It was quite clear Moody didn't care about the Map beyond Hogwarts for the obvious reason that the Map was no good anywhere else. Harry couldn't wait to see the look on his father's face when he returned to get his ban removed.

But the thing that Harry waited for most of all was the headline of Orion getting the Dementor's Kiss. He didn't know when the date was for it &amp; so he all but ripped every Daily Prophet from Hermione's hands the moment an owl would bring it to her. Hermione finally snapped at him when one paper accidently tore in his haste.

"When it appears, you'll know!" Hermione took back the pieces of her torn paper. "Instead of ruining everything, why not just ask Remus when the date is?" At that, she leaned over &amp; put the pieces into her bag, safely away from Harry's iron-like grip.

Harry's anticipation of the day was nothing compared to James, who by now, was showing fits of mood swings like never before. He was composed most of the time in front of Sirius &amp; Remus, but alone at home, he'd pace the flat so much he'd wear out trails in the carpet. His anxiety still showed though, as Sirius &amp; Remus both noticed how strained James would look when he was with them.

"You don't have to see him again," Remus finally offered one day. "Just go to Hogwarts &amp; hang out with Harry. Forget this now. It's all over."

"It isn't over," James snapped. "Not yet. I do have to see him. I have to know for sure."

Despite their efforts, neither of them could persuade James to walk away. By the time the day dawned of Orion's final moments of sentient life, James was more ornery than a werewolf on a full moon. James didn't sleep the night before, refused both breakfast &amp; coffee &amp; went out alone into the nearby forest to bound about as Prongs until the late afternoon.

James appeared at Azkaban by himself &amp; met Minister Fudge along with his posse of officials as well as two Aurors. Fudge led the way down the hall, but instead of going up to where the many cells were, he went down into the basement. James followed silently behind as they went down the long hall to a door.

Running footsteps were heard &amp; all turned to see Remus &amp; Sirius running after them. They stopped &amp; bent over, out of breath. "Y-You—" Sirius gasped. "We ...looked everywh..."

"Why didn't you come find us?" Remus demanded.

"I knew you were coming," James shrugged. "Figured we'd meet here."

"Uh huh!" Remus had both hands on his hips. "When will you learn we're not letting you out of our sight for long?"

"Are we all here then?" Fudge asked. Remus nodded curtly, still glaring at James. "Very well," Fudge went on. He opened a side door. "Everyone please step in here. This is the lobby. Orion Black will be brought into that room at the end for his sentence. When he is secured, I will summon James Potter."

"We're all going!" Remus declared.

"No," Fudge &amp; James both said. Fudge added. "James Potter is the only one who requested his final rights &amp; signed for them."

"I'll be fine," James said. "Just having you two here nearby is good enough."

Neither Remus or Sirius were happy about it but remained silent since Fudge was there. Remus pulled James away from the group as Fudge sent the two other Aurors to fetch Orion. Remus leaned back against the wall, holding James close while Sirius put a hand on James's shoulder. Anyone else who dared to approach, Remus would curl his lips back in a low snarl.

One woman in Fudge's group dropped her quill &amp; parchment. "Sir," she turned to Fudge. "Sir I think there's a werewolf here."

"Auror Remus John Lupin. Light werewolf," Fudge didn't even have to look at Remus. "He's fine."

James lifted his face from Remus's shoulder. "I've raised him since he was a pup. He's a good pet."

Remus let his arms fall with a groan. "I am a vicious slavering monster. I am NOT a pet!"

James caught the woman's eye. "He's just being stupid." Remus growled. "Shut it you. You're not helping." James pulled out a chocolate bar. "Want this?"

"Sure," Remus said before he thought it through.

James handed over the chocolate bar, then looked back at the woman again. "See?" James held up his little finger. "Totally wrapped around it."

"Wait until I'm done eating this," Remus muttered through a mouthful. "I'll bite that finger off."

"Could the three of you stop having an affair over there?" Sirius interjected. He was standing by the door now to watch through the little window. "That or get your own room."

"Three of us?" James asked. "I'm not flirting with her." He looked at the woman only to find her scowling at him.

"Not the girl, the chocolate bar," Sirius explained. "Maybe you can get a bed made out of chocolate." Remus growled under breath. Sirius looked out the tiny window again. He sighed heavily. "Jim? He's coming." James pushed himself away from Remus as Sirius stared out the window again. Orion met his eyes as he was led by. "He looks remarkably calm for one who's about to lose his soul." He returned to James's side as several people went out with Fudge to secure Orion &amp; do whatever final reports they needed.

Sirius &amp; Remus tried once more to get James to walk away, but he would not hear. All too soon for them, Fudge returned to collect James. "You have five minutes."

"Ok Jim," Sirius held him back. "We're both right here. Don't forget that." Remus was nodding vigorously beside him.

"I'll be fine," James marched out the door without a backwards glance.

"I'm quite worried for him," Sirius said to Remus.

"You always worry about him," Remus put one hand on Sirius's face. "It's why he's gotten this far I think."

"He's dressed quite formally for this," Sirius went on. "I thought he didn't want to be an Auror any more, yet he's wearing the full black uniform."

"He likes being an Auror just fine," said Remus. "He just doesn't want any benefits from the Ministry."

Sirius looked at the door. They were standing alone at the moment. The rest of the group were out in the hall before the door of the Chamber Of The Condemned, with the two other Aurors on either side. "You think we'll hear anything?" Sirius asked. "I ... never made it this far thankfully."

"It's a sound proof room," said Remus. "How are you doing, being back here?"

Sirius gritted his teeth for a moment. "I'm quite uncomfortable being near that door. I know of others who went through it &amp; dreaded that it would happen to me. Never thought I'd get this close."

"I know the answer already but I guess I should ask," Remus began. "Do you want to leave? I'll stay here for Jim."

"I'm not going anywhere, but thanks." Sirius suddenly gasped sharply as a familiar cold swept over them.

"Padfoot, it's ok," Remus put his hands on Sirius's face, forcing him to make eye contact. "It isn't here for you. Just stay close." He pulled Sirius into his arms, kissing him until the beast passed. "Though there was a time I wished I was here to see you off."

"Yeah thanks," Sirius muttered through a short laugh.

"Oh I'm glad that's behind us," Remus sighed.

"Yeah," Sirius leaned into Remus, waiting for James to return.

James went into the chamber alone. The door closed with a dull thud &amp; James found himself locked inside a room lit brightly by four torches, one in each corner. Orion was standing in the center of the room, chained down to the floor by his legs &amp; to either wall by his arms. The chains were so taught that Orion could barely move. James looked back at the locked door. Unlike Orion, all James had to do was pull the little chain in the door to ring the bell to get out. He could leave any time. Orion could not.

"Well Jim," Orion started. "You took this much farther than I thought. So here we are now."

"Yes," James came up to him, standing within an inch of Orion. "Here we are."

Orion looked him over. "You look hot Jim," he breathed slyly.

"I wore it for you," said James. "I was in uniform before, when I tried to kill you."

"Mhm," Orion nodded. He leaned in as close as his bondage would allow. "You look even hotter out of it."

James put one hand on Orion's cheek, using a single finger to stroke it. Orion shuddered at the touch of leather. James let his antlers out &amp; said softly. "I've come to say goodbye."

"Have you really?" Orion sneered. "You're not going to put a stop to it?"

"It's your fault."

"How so?"

"The most dangerous creature in the world is a mother," James began, letting his hand fall away. "No thanks to you I have to play both father &amp; mother to Harry. How much more dangerous I am!"

Orion again looked James over. "Aww if that's all it is," he said. "You don't have to worry about that. I told you before, I'm not interested in Harry. His blood isn't good enough for me."

"I have to protect him," James said. "How can I be sure?"

"Jim, you know my taste," Orion said. He smiled softly, letting his eyes roam over James. "In more ways than one."

James fell silent, considering. He had the power now, not Orion. It would be on his word that this would end, one way or another. All he had to do was walk out there &amp; say he dropped the charges or he could call for the Dementor. "Your fate is in my hands, for once."

Orion nodded once, "Is it just Harry you're worried about?"

"I am his father," James said. "I have to watch out for him."

"Jim, he's fine," said Orion. "I'm not interested in him. It's you I want. We make it work. We have before." James inclined his head, looking Orion in the eye, then looked at one of the walls where one of the chains holding Orion was attached. His right antler swiped close to Orion's face. Orion leaned in &amp; kissed it. After a moment, James turned back to look at him. "Harry's ok," Orion tried again. James stepped up close to him so that they were nearly nose to nose. "Jim? It's ok. Harry will be fine." They shared a look. Orion took advantage of the silence &amp; kissed James on the lips, lingering for a few moments. James didn't pull away, only continued to appraise him with his eyes once Orion broke off. "Jim ... I don't care about Harry." They shared another look &amp; in that moment, Orion realised too late, his mistake.

James stepped away from him, pulling in his antlers. "But that's the problem, isn't it Uncle?" He raised his wand. "I do. Expecto Patronum!"

Orion watched the silver beast burst from James's wand. "Wait, where's Prongs?"

"He went to my son," James said.

"But that ….that's impossible!"

"Patronuses have been known to change before."

"Yes but not … not to that. Never to that!"

"You're right there," James said. "I looked it up. I'm the only one who ever had a Dementor for a Patronus."

"James!" Orion struggled against his binds, panicking at last. He had a feeling that James wasn't going to come through for him. "James I mean it. I won't go near Harry. Ever!"

"I can't take that risk."

"Are you really backing out?" Orion exclaimed. "You'll have to live with this for the rest of your life! Sirius can't help you this time. He's with a wolf, remember."

"I don't care," James said. "I find them an amazing pair! It doesn't bother me. I'm quite happy for Sirius. We are fine with each other. No regrets."

"Regrets?" Orion scoffed at him. "Sirius is going to hate you if he ever finds ou—"

"Sirius will never know what went on here!" James fumbled about behind him until he found the little chain for the bell. "Goodbye Uncle."

"Jim? JAMES! NOOOO!"

But the door opened &amp; James turned to the waiting group outside. "Bring the Dementor in!"

"Jim no. No please!" Orion begged. "Please don't!"

"Where have I heard words like that before?" James said. "Ah yes. I was the one begging. You never listened to me. Well now I won't listen to you."

"James!" Orion was sobbing now.

The door closed again, shutting Orion into his sudden nightmare as James &amp; his shining Dementor stood to once side, watching. Orion shook against the binds, begging &amp; pleading, keeping his eyes on James but to no avail. The real Dementor grabbed his head &amp; moved in.

"JAMES I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING THROUGH WITH THI—" Orion's voice was drowned by a pair of very different lips sealing his mouth. His eyes went wide as he struggled ever more, screaming inside his throat.

The cuffs on the chains cut into his struggling wrists so much that blood streamed out in rivers. James stood by, forcing himself to watch. Orion went stiff under the Dementor's grasp for a moment. His flesh suddenly retracted, pulled against his bones as if a vacuum had sucked it in. Orion let out a wild unearthly scream through his nose as his skeletal fingers grappled at air a few times. Then his muffled screams abruptly ended &amp; his soulless body collapsed. The jerking movement caused the chain cuffs to rip into his flesh even more while Orion hung there, bleeding &amp; soulless, as the Dementor backed away. His eyes stared ahead as if dead. His mouth was cracked &amp; bleeding with a gray circle around it from where the Dementor had clamped on. The body panted with breath but could do no more. The heart pumped blood to a brain with no conscience as the flesh slowly relaxed only to hang loosely over the frame.

James had both hands over his mouth, horrified not of what had just happened but what had nearly happened a long time ago. "They wanted to do that to Sirius?! How dare they?"

The door opened again &amp; both James &amp; the Dementor stood facing each other, as if wondering who should go out first. James finally decided to leave first, letting his Patronus disappear. He was halfway to the lobby when the door opened as Sirius &amp; Remus came out. Fudge &amp; his officials were lined on either side. James made his way towards Sirius when the beast struck.

James gasped, stumbling backwards. The Dementor had its arms open &amp; encircled James from behind. There was a cold rasping sound throughout the hall &amp; everyone shivered. Sirius struggled to reach James but had fallen to his knees along with everyone else, apart from James, from the beast's powers sweeping over everyone like an icy gale.

James felt his brain go numb &amp; a discorded voice in his head. /You honor us. No one has turned to us before. Your Patronus is the first of its kind./

The attack, so it seemed, was over as quickly as it had started. The Dementor glided away while everyone picked themselves up. Sirius finally reached James.

James noticed he had been crying. "I'm ok. It just thanked me for my unique Patronus is all."

"Jim," Sirius shook his head. "Today is the day of the final Task! We all forgot with this going on."

"Oh well," James said. "We should get going."

"A messenger Patronus came in from the Ministry," Remus began.

Sirius shared a glance with Remus. "Jim?" Sirius held James back. "It's already over. We don't know which one but…but one of the Hogwarts Champions has been killed!"


	64. Chapter 64

**(64) Everything Will All Work Out**

James felt himself sway as he collapsed at Sirius's feet. He barely noticed Remus take ahold of him. He could hardly see from shaking so much with a cold that had nothing to do with Dementors. He somehow found himself leaning on Sirius while he stumbled up the stairs &amp; to the outer gates of Azkaban.

It was dark out by now, save for the white caps of crashing waves. Remus &amp; Sirius helped James into the boat &amp; it set off for the mainland shore. But the moment it was clear of the shields around Azkaban, Remus pulled all three of them into the vortex. Since they were coming in from the sea, they didn't have to worry about border checks &amp; all three of them landed in front of Hogwarts a few moments later.

James could no longer walk. He fell to the ground before the gates of Hogsmeade. Even from there, they could still here the confused cries from the crowd. Sirius knelt beside him, rubbing his back. James was shivering so much that both Sirius &amp; Remus pulled off their coats to cover him. Remus used his werewolf strength to haul James up once more, then opened the gate.

They had barely gotten through when James ducked out of their grip &amp; stepped back through the gate. He stood with his back towards them, staring down the street.

"Jim," Sirius came up to him. "It isn't him. There are two Hogwarts Champions. Harry's fine. I know it!"

"I can't," James stammered. "Can't. I can't do this!"

"He'll be ok," Sirius put a hand on James's shoulder. He couldn't say more or he would end up crying.

"If he isn't?" James looked at him. "What do I do?"

"You stay close to us," Remus appeared beside them. "No matter what. Stay close to us." He grabbed them both by their hands &amp; pulled. "Come on."

It was mostly Remus who pulled them through the grounds towards the screaming crowds. James was nearly half carried by leaning on both of them. With a loud growl, Remus cleared a path in the crowds &amp; pulled the other two through. He spotted Dumbledore &amp; went straight for him.

Dumbledore turned to leave, only to nearly crash into the three of them. "Harry is—"

James fell to his knees. "Oh no! NO!"

"JAMES!" Dumbledore bellowed over his cries. "He's ok!"

"Did you hear that?" Sirius gasped with relief. "I TOLD you!"

James looked up at Dumbledore. "He ... is?"

"Yes," Dumbledore said. "It's our Hufflepuff that was killed. It's Cedric ... &amp; there's more. Harry is hurt but he'll be fine."

"What was in that maze that would have done this?" James demanded. "I thought the rules changed. They weren't supposed to die!"

"It isn't the maze," Dumbledore said. "Not here." He shook his head, glancing around. "Harry's with Alas—" Dumbledore fell silent, searching the area. He suddenly spoke in a louder voice. "You three! Come with me now!" Dumbledore all but run for the castle &amp; it was all the three of them could do to keep up.

"What's going on?" Remus asked as he nearly tripped over a tree root.

"I think a lot more is going on then I first imagined," Dumbledore shoved open the doors &amp; led the way through the stairs &amp; halls to Moody's office. "Wands out. I've been suspecting this for the past few days. I do not believe that Alastor is with us. He would never have removed anyone, least of all Harry, from my sight after what happened."

"What happened?" Sirius asked as he pulled out his wand.

"Severus, get that potion we discussed," Dumbledore ordered as they passed him. "Find Minerva &amp; meet us at Moody's office." He turned the corner &amp; headed down the next corridor. "Voldemort's back."

"WHAT?" James stopped running after Dumbledore.

"He killed Cedric," Dumbledore said.

"How is that possible?" Sirius gasped.

"I'm not sure," Dumbledore said. "But it's what Harry said."

"Harry?" James started moving again.

"Your son has the answers to this," Dumbledore stopped in front of the door. A moment later they were joined by Snape &amp; McGonagall.

The door blasted open &amp; it was instant confusion for the next few minutes. James however, zoned in onto his son. Harry seemed more than just hurt. He had blood on him from head to foot. James snatched him away, holding him so tight Harry could hardly breathe. He watched silently as the image of Mad Eye was replaced with the image of Barty Crouch Jr. &amp; in a daze, he saw the real Mad Eye inside a trunk.

James remained silent until they finally had Harry down in the hospital wing. He had paced around in the office as Harry had told what happened. Sirius had stood with Harry while Remus tried to keep James calm during that time. James was eventually allowed to bring Harry to the hospital wing at last where they were greeted by the Weasley family as well as Hermione. All clustered around James &amp; Harry as James led his son to the bed. Dumbledore soon appeared beside them, leading the others aside as Pomfrey gave Harry a sleeping potion. He was soon passed out.

James stood silently by the bed, watching over him while Sirius &amp; Remus sat down on the one next to Harry's bed. But James didn't move. After what seemed like an hour, he heard voices &amp; looked down the hall. He could hear McGonagall's voice yelling at someone: Fudge. The Weasley family were all sitting quietly nearby with Hermione next to Ron. Looking back at Harry, he saw him wake up. James sat down slowly.

"Hi Dad," Harry said, sitting up.

James didn't look at him. He didn't ask for more details about the graveyard or if Harry really had seen Voldemort. All he could say was, "The one Task I should have been here for you, but I wasn't. I am so sorry."

"You wouldn't have been able to see anything," said Harry. "I was inside a maze."

"I should have been here," James repeated. "I said I would be but I wasn't." He looked up at Sirius &amp; Remus. "Why didn't I listen to you?" The Wolfstar pair shared a look, not knowing what to say. "Why didn't I?" James demanded again. The pair looked at the floor.

"Well, where were you then?" Harry asked.

"In the Chamber Of The Condemned," James answered. When Harry looked confused, James explained. "At Azkaban, in the basement. It's the room where those doomed for the Kiss are taken. I had requested to witness Orion's Kiss. That was earlier today." Hermione &amp; Molly both gasped.

"In that case, you're forgiven for missing my last Task," Harry said. "It's about time!"

"If I had known Voldemort would return this night," James began. "Orion would have been the last thing on my mind."

"It's ok Da—"

"No it isn't!" James punched the bed before standing up. "That is yet another time Voldemort nearly kills you &amp; I wasn't there. The first time we lost your mother!"

"I'm ok," Harry tried to reassure him. "I'm back here. It isn't your fault. Orion—"

"Yes! Orion! Again!" James turned &amp; kicked the next bed. Hermione &amp; Ron had been sitting on it. They jumped &amp; got off on the far side from him. "Sorry," James muttered.

"Jim," Sirius put his hands on James's shoulders.

James shook him off. "Don't bother!" He crossed his arms &amp; glared out the window. Rain began pouring down. "You know," he suddenly went on. "I had a feeling something was wrong with Mad Eye. I told you at the Second Task that he didn't recognise me. I felt something was wrong back then. He didn't seem quite like the Moody we all know &amp; love ...love to hate that is." James &amp; Sirius shared a quick smile.

"He hates us," Sirius said. "I don't know why. We're such lovable guys."

"Can't please everyone," James said. He turned back to the window &amp; fell silent.

Sirius cast a nervous glance at him, then sat down by Harry's side. "Can you tell us anything else?"

"Sirius," Harry snarled. He didn't want to talk about it anymore. Sirius gave Harry a pointed look, then cocked his head in James's direction. Harry sighed heavily. He got it. Distraction. He decided to make it short though. "Not really. The Cup brought us to a graveyard. Tom Riddle was written on one of the headstones. A man showed up. I saw him before in one of my dreams. He was a Death Eater &amp; had returned to his side. He helped bring Voldemort back to a full body."

"Who was the one that brought him back?" James asked.

"One of his long lost Death Eaters.," Harry replied, giving a short description. "Dumbledore had said that it's what Trelawney had predicted; that one would return to Voldemort's side to help him rise again. He said any number of Voldemort's followers could fit that description. So one of his minions I guess." That made Sirius half laugh at least, but James was still upset.

But neither James or Harry could say any more as Fudge burst in on them &amp; then, everyone was yelling at each other. James sat down on Harry's bed again, waiting for them to shut up. The curtains vibrated with his warped power, showing his irritation. But when Dumbledore showed up, the angry yelling got even louder. A Dementor had apparently been brought inside the castle. The curtains hanging on one side of Harry's bed ripped without anyone putting their hands on them.

"Dad!" Harry hissed in a whisper. "Calm down or you'll hit me with that."

A large black dog came out from under the bed &amp; jumped up over Harry's legs. Harry glared at him, trying to kick his feet to get the weight off. Padfoot smiled, looking for all the world like a mad dog. James laughed. It had worked. The fluttering tatters of the curtains came to a rest. For one glorious moment, it had worked, but then Fudge turned his attention on Harry. James was on his feet before anyone could blink while Padfoot turned &amp; growled, his hackles up.

Harry soon joined the argument as everything came out, from his prickling scar to his Parselmouth powers. He shot name after name of all the Death Eaters he had seen there but Fudge dismissed every last one.

No one noticed James as he stood there silently by his son's side, glaring ever more darkly at Fudge. "ENOUGH!" James bellowed &amp; every single bed burst into a cloud of feathers. Harry sneezed. "How dare you? How DARE you?!"

"Excuse me?" Fudge sneered at James.

James put a hand on the black dog. "After what you did to Sirius?" He whispered in a shaking voice. "You fucked that right up didn't you?" Padfoot stopped growling at Fudge &amp; started gaping at James. There were several women present. James was usually decent in front of them.

"We d—"

"No trial!" James went on in a slightly stronger voice. "No one ever listened to his side! You left him there. A-Alone. For twelve y-years." James started crying so much, he threw his glasses aside to wipe his eyes. "I SAID HE WOULD NEVER BETRAY ME! WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO ME? Now, you go after my son? You insolent vile fucking basta..." James stopped. He stepped up &amp; punched Fudge so hard in the face, he broke his nose. "Be grateful I do not serve Voldemort or I would KILL you where you stand right now." He yanked his glasses back from Harry's hands.

Fudge clutched his bleeding nose with both hands since no one offered to help him. "I'll have you in Azkaban for this!"

Padfoot started growling at him again. James raised his hand. Expecting to be hit again, Fudge stepped back but James said, "Fuck you! Expecto Patronum!" A bright shining Dementor exploded from his palm. Padfoot was gaping at James once more. "They wouldn't do a thing to me! You stay away from my boy. Stay away from Sirius! Stay away! PERIOD!"

Fudge &amp; James glared at each other &amp; it was unclear who hated who more. "You will regret this!" Fudge finally snarled.

"Go ahead," James put his wrists together in an arrest, being sure to let several scars show. "Send me to Azkaban. I dare you!"

"NO!" Harry yelled.

"It'll be the last thing you ever do," James went on, ignoring Harry. "The Dementors won't give me a Kiss. I honor them with that." He indicated his Patronus. "The one with Orion's soul told me." The shining Dementor continued to float by his side. "With my warped powers, I'll blast that fortress apart. Then what will you do? Hmm? No place for prisoners. What will become of the Death Eaters already stuck there? Some I once helped to round up? Where will the poor sweet (Everyone stared at James.) Dementors go? Hmm? Go on Fudge! Take me to Azkaban. You're the one who'll end up with regrets."

"You're insane!"

James snickered softly. "I'm a Black."

Fudge stepped further away from him, turning to Dumbledore. But by now, even Dumbledore was reaching his end. He tried to reason with Fudge but to no avail. Fudge ended by tossing Harry his prize of a thousand Galleons, then strode from the room. The shining Dementor vanished at last.

There was a stunned moment of silence. James soon broke it. "Um, I apologise to the ladies. I don't usually swear in front of them. Sorry." He glanced at the floor, turning bright red. "Harry if I ever hear you doing that in front of girls, you won't have a bottom to sit on. Understand?"

Harry caught himself laughing in spite of himself as Mrs Weasley pulled out her wand &amp; went about fixing the beds, starting with Harry's.

"James Charlus Black Potter!" Dumbledore glared at him.

"Yes?"

"You need to control that temper of yours," Dumbledore said. He sighed heavily. "What a mess!"

"He got what he deserved," James replied stubbornly.

Dumbledore shook his head, then turned &amp; began talking to the others. One by one, they each took off until only Dumbledore, Mrs. Weasley, Ron, Hermione, James, Sirius, Remus, Harry &amp; Snape were left. "Before I send you out to find the Order, it is time for three of you to put aside old differences. Severus, I trust you heard the rumors of what Sirius &amp; James did during their school years here for our werewolf?"

"Oh please don't," James muttered.

"Rumors?"

"Illegal Animagic."

"Just rumors," Snape shrugged. "How could anyone that young do that?"

"With determination," Dumbledore turned to Padfoot &amp; James. "It's time to show your true forms."

"Do we have to?" James whined.

Dumbledore glared at him. "Don't cause any more trouble please!"

James grumbled under breath but soon Prongs was standing there, wedged between two bed frames with feathers still wafting about. Padfoot jumped to the floor a moment before Sirius appeared. While others gasped in surprise, Snape just glared.

"Hmm," Snape sneered. "Amateurs at best."

Prongs bugled in protest &amp; looked ready to mow Snape down. Dumbledore cast all three of them dark glares but eventually got James &amp; Sirius to shake hands with Snape. (None of them made any comments on the cuts in all their palms from gripping each other enough to hurt.)

"Alright that'll do for now," Dumbledore pushed them apart, shooting another dark glare at Remus who was failing to hide his laughter.

"That's an epic fail," Remus whispered out the corner of his mouth. Dumbledore stepped forward, purposely landing on the werewolf's toes on his way by. Remus growled under breath.

"You three," Dumbledore went on. "It's time to raise the rest of the Order. Fudge's attitude changes everything. Sirius, you will go alert Arabellla Figg, Mundungus Fletcher, the old crowd. Then you &amp; Remus lie low at home. Remus, find those in France. James, you're to alert the others. Here's a list of where they are now."

Harry watched as the three Aurors, all still in uniform from coming from Orion's sentence, stood sharply at attention for a moment, then took off. He never thought he would see his father in action for real, not just caught on tape. He never planned for any of this to happen. Not for Voldemort to return, not for Cedric to die.

Cedric! Harry glared at the bag of money as Dumbledore gave instructions to those remaining. That should have gone to Cedric, not him. He felt hold on to him, almost like how a mother would do. Pomfrey gave him more Sleeping potion &amp; one of the last things Harry remembered before passing out was Hermione slamming the window shut.

The black Grim, the Stag &amp; the werewolf all ran for the gates of Hogsmeade to apparate away. Though in human form, Remus could easily keep up with them &amp; arrived on the edge of the shield without having to catch his breath. James &amp; Sirius shifted back &amp; the three of them stood together, clasping each other's hands.

"I can't believe we're doing this again," James said.

"Dumbledore is right," Remus sighed. "You &amp; Fudge really screwed up."

"I don't care," James pouted like a child. He stamped his foot. "I've had enough of pretending for them. Orion's done!" He pulled up his hand that was holding Sirius's hand. He pressed his cheek to the top of Sirius's hand. "What they did to you is inexcusable. I'm never going back to the Ministry!"

"James," Sirius looked him over. "You scare me."

James smiled softly at him. "How so?"

"A Dementor for a Patronus? Are you kidding me?"

"Sorry," James shrugged as best he could since the three of them were still holding hands.

"Your open hate for the Minister," Sirius went on. "While I appreciate the thought, James, don't cause any more trouble."

"I'm not worried."

"We are," Remus said.

"Don't be," James said, looking at Sirius. "Everything will all work out."

They released each other's hands &amp; apparated to each their own designations. The rising of the Order had begun.


	65. Chapter 65

**(65) Ghosts Of The Past**

James felt a bump as he landed on the front steps of Remus's home. Glancing sideways, he saw Remus had apparated on nearly the same spot. "Sorry."

Remus smiled tiredly. "What a night."

"Yeah," James glanced up at the sky. It was just starting to turn pink. He shivered suddenly.

"Come inside," Remus opened the door. "I'll get some hot chocolate while we wait for Sirius. Then we should all get some sleep."

Sirius arrived home about two hours later. He found the futon opened with Remus sitting up using the wall as a support. James was lying down under the blanket, already sleeping.

/Finally./ Remus spoke silently.

/Took longer than I thought,/ Sirius switched to Padfoot &amp; jumped up to lay across the 'foot' of the couch.

/Now what?/

/Dumbledore said that we should wait here for a few days while he consults with the rest of the Order./

/I can't believe we're using the Order again./

/We're severely diminished. It won't be the same as last time unless we find new recruits./ Padfoot stared into the fire.

Remus could sense there was something more. /What's wrong?/

Padfoot turned his head to look up at Remus. /There's a warning for James. If he sets foot in the Ministry Of Magic again, he'll be arrested./

Remus nearly yelled out loud. He winced, biting his tongue to keep silent. /He brought it on himself./

/We really need to talk to him about this./

Remus shook his head, then smiled softly at Padfoot. /I understand why he lashed out like that./

Padfoot nodded. /Don't think I don't appreciate it. But he can't undo the past. He needs to let it go. ALL of it!/

/What about anywhere else?/ Remus went on. /Is the warrant for arrest just for entering the Ministry?/

/Yes, for now./

Remus rubbed his face with both hands. /I'm too tired to think about this right now. Let's just get some sleep./ There was a grunt of agreement from the great Grim, then Padfoot shifted a bit to curl up with nose under tail &amp; was soon fast asleep.

The three of them slept through the day until early evening. Remus was the first up &amp; he woke Padfoot. They went to the kitchen to find something to eat as well as to work out what to say to James. Remus had mashed potatoes ready as Sirius put a bowl of salad on the table when James finally sauntered in. Remus pulled out a large piece of raw meat from the fridge &amp; began cutting off pieces to eat as he sat down with the others at the table in an attempt to avoid having to say something first. Sirius swung his foot. Remus grunted &amp; choked on his meat.

"Yet you wonder why people hate werewolves," Sirius muttered. Remus obstinately shoved a particularly large piece of meat in his mouth. "Grow up!" Sirius scowled.

James cast a glance between the two. "Um maybe I should go home."

"NO!" Sirius yelped. Remus tried to say the same thing but his mouth was to full. "Er no. Dumbledore said it was better if we stayed together."

"We need to talk to you," Remus finally started. Sirius sat back, glad that Remus decided to take control. "Uh well, you see ... Sirius thinks..." Sirius sat forward again, clearly miffed.

"We both think!" Sirius retorted. They both looked at James helplessly.

"I was unaware that either of you were capable of thinking," James teased, hoping to get them to relax.

They hesitated &amp; then said at the same time, "You're not allowed at the Ministry or you'll be arrested."

"What?" James asked. Sirius ended up explaining the warrant. James just shrugged. "Thanks for that. I file that one under 'Who cares?'"

"James!" Remus exclaimed. "Don't you get it?"

"Yes I do, but I don't care," James said.

"You're getting into a kind of trouble we may not be able to protect you from," Sirius said.

"We don't like him much either," Remus added. "But please stop trying to piss off the Minister any chance you get. Think about Harry!"

"Fudge turned against him," James pointed out.

"Fudge is scared," Sirius said. "He's being a coward right now but he is not working for Voldemort!"

"You're going to see a lot more against Harry," Remus said.

"What? Why?"

"Right now, it's because he is saying Voldemort's back while Fudge wants the opposite to be true," Sirius began. "But when Voldemort does come out in the open, it'll be because Harry is against him. How many of us had our names slandered last time we all stood up to him? You know what it's like. Harry doesn't."

"You need to be there for him," Remus put in. "Not get caught up in your own war against the Ministry."

"You think I don't know what's coming?" James asked rhetorically. "I know what they'll do to Harry. I want to take him as far away from this as possible but I can't."

"He has us," Remus said. "So do you. Stop causing trouble!"

Sirius moved his chair closer to James &amp; took hold of his hand nearest him. "Hey you're not the only one cursed with the Black temper. I may have ditched the name, but I can't lose the curse. Just rant at me if you need to. Imagine me as Fudge or whoever you currently hate when the time comes."

James managed a weak laugh. "Thanks but you're way too ugly to imagine his face over yours."

"I'm not half as ugly as you are," Sirius grumbled. He pushed back his hair with his free hand.

Remus took a moment to admire his looks, slightly worn from Azkaban but the handsome features were still there. "Guys get a room."

James &amp; Sirius pulled their hands apart. "He started it," James complained.

"Yeah he always starts stuff," Remus said. "But I finish it."

"Ok seriously," James dropped his fork into his plate. "That information should be on a need to know basis."

"Exactly," Remus grinned, exposing points. "I need it &amp; don't yalls know it."

"Leaving now," James stood up &amp; took his plate to the living room as Remus howled with laughter. "For Merlin's sake, I'm eating!"

"Hmm I think I might eat some sausage for des—"

"MOONY!" James yelled. Sirius joined in Remus's laughter. "Keep that up &amp; I won't give you a gift for your anniversary."

"It had better be a box of condoms," Sirius said. James threw his fork at him. "Oh Jim!" Sirius laid his head on the table, sobbing.

Remus had his hands round his abdomen. "Oh man! We will NEVER let you outlive those condoms!"

"I hate everybody!"

Needless to say, it wasn't for several days until James had forgiven them enough to get the little car. He led both outside into the driveway, pulled the car out of his pocket &amp; put it down. The next moment, a bluish-black Lamborghini was parked in the drive. Sirius gaped at it before lunging forward with a whoop. He went around it twice, inspecting every inch of it, before getting into the driver's side. The keys were already in the ignition.

"Nice ride eh?" James said.

"Yeah," Remus said, smiling softly at the car. He gave himself a shake &amp; passed a hand through his hair. "You know ... Jim ..." He began but James had already moved away from him.

"Harry &amp; I picked it out during the spring break," James opened up the front passenger door.

"This is amazing!" Sirius ran his hands over the dashboard. "Hey Moony! Get in here! You too, James. We're taking this beauty for a spin."

James laughed at him as he moved to the back seat. Remus took the front. "James we need to talk about this."

"No we don't," James smiled sweetly.

"Yes we do!"

"Oh shut up," James leaned forward to punch the werewolf on the shoulder. "You know you like it."

"I never said I didn't," Remus was also caressing the dashboard. "WHOA!"

"WHOO! I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE ONE OF THESE!" Sirius had put the thing in gear &amp; was on the road before anyone could blink amid a roar of power. He could only snicker while James &amp; Remus leaned back in their seats, looking somewhat stiff as Sirius floored it. The Lambo took off down the road.

"Do you have a license for this?" Remus asked quickly.

"Yep!" Sirius patted his wallet lying on the armrest between them. Remus desperately searched through it but sure enough, Sirius had a valid muggle driving license. He lay back in his seat once more &amp; it was a while before either he or James got used to the speed. "Would you two relax?" Sirius was giggling like an idiot. "She's a breeze to drive."

"She's causing the breeze," Remus said weakly.

They spent the day driving around. By the time they got back, it was nearly dark. Sirius parked the Lambo as close as he could to the house. Remus was the first to reach the door, so the waiting owl moved towards him. Remus pulled off the letter &amp; the owl flew away. Dumbledore had requested all three of them to come to his home. He had invited the whole Order to discuss a place that would be safe to set up Headquarters.

It was a long debate as the group sat around the table. Some suggested Dumbledore's house since it had a few protection charms on it already, but it was too small. A little house for an old man by himself just couldn't support the Order. As others offered other areas that ended up being either too far or would take to long to conceal, Sirius sat quietly throughout. He had a house. He had the perfect house. It was large. It had many ancient charms on it that made it hidden as well as unplottable. Adding a Fidelus to it would be perfect.

But ... his eyes often wandered over to James who was sitting on the other side &amp; down the far end of the table. Was the cost of losing one Auror worth the price of hiding the rest of the Order? Could he get James to see reason? He knew James would hate him for it. He already hated himself for even considering it, but what choice did they have? They needed a place now. That was it. They needed it now. But it didn't have to always be that way. He finally decided to go ahead with it. They would use his house only until a better area could be set up. It would buy them time. James would understand. Right? Sirius got up &amp; pulled Dumbledore aside when he had gone to get more tea.

Harry lay spread out over his bed, his mind still reeling from the recent events. He had been scrounging for anything on Voldemort's return all summer since absolutely no one had contacted him about anything important. The Daily Prophet had no mention of Voldemort either. Harry's bedroom floor was strewn with old papers that had been barely looked at before being tossed aside.

There was never anything. No mention of what he had seen. No Cedric. No message from any of his friends or family. Not even from Dobby. He had been searching for a few weeks for any information since everyone seemed to have forgotten him somehow.

The first Daily Prophet of the summer was plastered with the headline Harry had waited so long to see: Orion's demise. But it no longer meant as much to Harry. Of course, he was glad Orion was finished, but there were bigger problems to worry about. Still, he kept it separate from the pile of ones he was throwing out. It lay half forgotten on top of his trunk.

Harry had found himself one day, sitting on a swing &amp; fuming, when suddenly, James had appeared. He had been upset over something or other Sirius had done, but eventually convinced Harry to stay out in the night with him. While they walked about, eating ice cream, James had said they weren't allowed to tell Harry anything but since he was in a rebellious mood, he told Harry everything so long as Sirius wasn't mentioned.

The Order was a secret fighting group made my Dumbledore. They were once more in action, meeting at some place for Headquarters. James didn't know exactly where &amp; avoided talking about the place itself.

But none of that compared to what had happened that same night. Two Dementors had come &amp; nearly took Dudley's soul. Harry had been faster &amp; cast a Patronus to save him, but despite James being there, Harry was soon threatened with expulsion from school &amp; having his wand taken &amp; broken. By now, he was faced with a hearing at the Ministry.

Harry pulled out of his dark thoughts &amp; rolled over in bed. He thought about going down to get something to eat now that he was alone. He hadn't dared to go down when Vernon was home since James had left just before the first letter arrived, but not before exchanging some nasty words with Petunia. She had called him a bastard &amp; slammed the door as he left. He had yelled the word cunt through the open window before disappearing. Vernon had a fit &amp; yelled at Harry not to treat Petunia the same way James did. It ended with Harry rhetorically asking why he would bother with that when he thought Vernon, not Petunia, was the problem. It was perhaps fortunate that the first letter arrived at that precise moment.

Harry had been hiding in his bedroom ever since.

It had been a few days since the Dementors &amp; the Ministry letters. He glared at the ceiling, wondering what would happen now. He was alone at the moment, Petunia &amp; Vernon had left. He wanted to run away &amp; maybe find James. Harry sat bolt right up. Someone was downstairs, yet he hadn't heard the car return. He heard an Elk whistle.

The next moment, his door was blown off the hinges &amp; James was standing there. "Sorry I'm a bit late. Let's go. Hurry!"

Harry quickly put everything into his trunk. "Hedwig! Get in here." Hedwig hopped into her cage &amp; then peered sadly up at him.

"Ohh hurry up!" James moaned, grabbing the trunk &amp; shrinking it. He put it into his pocket.

"What's going on?" Harry asked as James all but jumped down the stairs.

James smiled up at him. "I'm kidnapping you."

"Kidnapping me? How so? I'm your son."

"Just get down here!" James snarled through gritted teeth, bouncing excitedly on his feet. "Give me your broom." Harry handed over the Firebolt which James promptly shrunk &amp; put into his pocket beside the trunk. They stepped outside. James freed Hedwig, whispered something in her ear &amp; let her take off. He then shrunk &amp; pocketed the cage as well. He took out the Invisibility Cloak &amp; wrapped it about himself so only his head showed, then raised a hand outside of its folds. A broom came zooming into his palm. "We'll share a broom so we can be under the cloak."

Harry sat behind James &amp; wrapped his arms around his waist, slightly apprehensive. He knew James was a bit of a trick flyer &amp; didn't know what to expect. They soared high into the air &amp; flew off over the town. They flew in silence through a cold wind. About half an hour into their shared flight, Harry saw a whole group of people on brooms heading towards them. They swooped past without knowing. Harry glanced back, watching the group. They seemed to be heading back to Privet Drive.

"Dad," Harry yelled over the wind. "We were just passed by a gang on brooms."

"I know," James screamed back. "That's just the Order going for you. Boy are they in for a surprise." He laughed evilly. Harry decided to keep quiet until they landed &amp; got inside to warm up.

James descended almost an hour later. They swooped low over a small town, passed over a river &amp; landed in the wild woods just beyond. James took the cloak off &amp; strode through the trees. Harry followed until they entered a clearing. James stopped &amp; turned to Harry.

"Dad," Harry glanced around the large meadow. "Where are we?"

"You would normally have been shown this place when you turned eleven," James began. "But better late than never. Tell yourself this: Peverell Mansion. Number 127."

Harry repeated the address &amp; the next moment, a large stone castle appeared in the background, against the hills. The meadow was suddenly filled with a small lake, fed by a waterfall coming down from the hills. There was also an orchard, several peacocks strutting about &amp; even some fences marked out fields. The castle was at least four times as big as the house on Private Drive &amp; three times as high as The Burrow. "Whoa!"

"I'm not using my flat in London anymore," James headed up the wide granite steps to the door. "I've been here a while, cleaning it up. Mind you, it hasn't been used in nearly a century so most of it is still covered in dust."

"That's fine," Harry shrugged as he stepped inside.

"The dining hall is straight down this corridor, seventh door on the left," James pulled out the trunk, cage &amp; Firebolt. "I'll put these in your room, then get something to eat. Take a look around in the meantime."

Harry wandered about by himself through the rooms. There were several reading rooms, foyers, parlours, even a game room. There were pictures of various witches &amp; wizards along the walls, most of whom Harry didn't know but thought that they might be previous Peverells. He even found Ignotus, though he was fast asleep in his chair. Harry quietly left the area so as not to get stuck arguing with the old coot.

Most of the areas were covered in layers of dust. One particularly large parlour had a huge crystal &amp; gold chandelier hanging dead center. Its flames burned bright as Harry entered, illuminating the many spider web lines draped around it &amp; connecting to the walls &amp; ceilings. Several of the critters paused in their walks along the lines as the light washed over them. A few swung downwards to hang over Harry as if glaring at him for disturbing their home. Harry turned to leave. It was then that he saw something that nearly made his heart stop.

A large picture basically covered one wall. It reached the ceiling as well as either wall &amp; seemed to be resting on the floor. The gold frame was dulled by eons of dust. It was a wizard's photo as Harry could see some of the inhabitants moving a little in their sleep. There were five children, four girls &amp; one younger boy, as well as the two parents. He knew this family all too well. They were all dead. Murdered. He knew that those who killed them made sure that the entire line was wiped out &amp; if anyone had any relation to them, they to would be killed. Harry swallowed dryly. If he really was related to them, it added a whole new angle onto why people everywhere were trying to kill him. He backed out, unable to take his eyes off the picture of that cursed family until the flames went out.

Harry made his way to the dining hall &amp; learned the moment he entered why it was called a hall. It could probably seat a hundred people. The table had two chandeliers like the one in the larger parlour, only smaller (not to mention cleaner), over each end. One wall was a mural of an ocean scene with a sunset. It had three doors evenly spaced out along it. The other wall had twelve high windows from floor to ceiling which was about sixteen feet high. The top half of each window was stained glass that glowed in the rays of the sun while the rest of the window pane was regular glass.

James was just sitting down at the far end, two plates before him. Harry ran down the length of the hall &amp; sat down close by. James smiled at him. "Didn't get too lost did you?"

"Not yet," Harry pulled his plate closer. It was filled with mashed potatoes, a Caesar salad &amp; bread with butter &amp; cheese. "It is a large place though."

"I wish we both could have seen it in all its grandeur," James said. "I hope to restore it. Did you find Ignotus?"

Harry glared at him. "He's asleep!"

James laughed. "More like pretending."

"I saw a few pictures," Harry went on. "Are they all Peverells?"

"Well our line has the most, naturally," James said. "Most pictures in the whole castle are of the three families."

"Most," Harry began. "Not all?"

"Some are of people who had connections to one or more of our Hallows at one point in time."

Harry laid his fork down. "Dad? Are we ...related to the Romanovs?"

"No idea," James shrugged. "Tsar Nicholas was a Half-blood, so I wouldn't be surprised if we were. He had the Elder wand for a bit. Part of the reason that got him &amp; his whole family killed." James sighed heavily. "All for the glory of Russia, hmm?" Harry slowly relaxed as James went on. "I think Rasputin was a wizard to, if I remember correctly."

"A precursor to today's Death Eaters no doubt," said Harry.

James shrugged. "It depends who you talk to."

"So did Anastasia survive or not?"

"Oh yes," James said. "She's dead by now though but my Grandfather was responsible for hiding her after the slaughter. My dad met her once."

"So that's why muggles are confused on whether she lived or not," Harry said. "Those of our world said she was dead to protect her but some muggles dug in deeper &amp; pointed out flaws in the murders."

"Most likely," said James. "Hey, it's fun to keep them guessing."

"That's mean," Harry said.

"Still fun," James smiled.

Harry put his fork down again, remembering where this mansion was situated. "That town we just passed before landing ... Godric's Hollow?" James nodded silently. "So, our other house is nearby then?"

"It's across town," James said. "I haven't gone back to it yet."

"Why not?"

"Well I was planning to go sometime this summer," James replied. "I was supposed to go back with Siri ... um, well I haven't gotten around to it yet is all."

Harry wondered what the hell Sirius had done but dared not ask yet. The last time he had tried asking about Sirius, James had all but bit his head off. Sirius was off limits! Harry asked instead, "Why don't we go later then?"

"If you want," James said slowly. "I know the house is half destroyed. You don't have to go back. I however, do need to go through house for any legal documents &amp; the like."

"Could we go see Mum to?" Harry knew the cemetery she was buried in would be near as well.

"Yeah, that's a mess," James rubbed his brow. "I need to fix those graves. Talk about a legal headache right there."

All this talk of legalities brutally reminded Harry of his hearing. "The Ministry is giving me a hearing for my Patronus."

"Yeah I heard," James scowled. "Don't worry. They can't do anything to you."

"You want me to go?"

"Why not?" James said. "You'll be fine."

"You saw the Dementors to. You can tell them they were there."

"I've sent them an owl about it," James said. "I can't be there personally though." He hesitated before muttering about his impending arrest.

"WHAT?" Harry threw his fork down for the third time.

"Well, I DID punch him in the face," James grumbled. "Not that he didn't deserve it though."

"This is ridiculous!" Harry shouted. "We don't have time for these court orders. Voldemort's back. Why isn't Fudge doing something about that?"

"For the same reason I punched him," James shrugged. "'Cause he's an idiot, that's why."

"This is stupid!"

"Welcome to my life Harry," James muttered.

They finished eating in a rather moody silence, each silently cursing the Ministry. James cleared the table at last, then brought out a large silver bell. Lifting the lid, Harry saw a large chocolate birthday cake on the platter. It had an image of his Firebolt on top, done with icing.

"You'll probably get another late party with your friends," James cut the cake into four quarters &amp; took two of them off. He put one in front of Harry who looked as though he had never seen a bigger slice of cake in his life, not even for Dudley. "But I've missed enough of them so I won't wait any longer." He then handed over a package.

Harry opened it up to find a book on Animagic. "...Dad...you want me to try this?"

"If you want," said James. "If you do, keep quiet about it," he added with a wink.

"Why? You think those two would get mad since I'm banned?" Harry laid the book on the table.

"I mean the Ministry," James replied. "All Marauders are unregistered. It will take you a few years to master it. Maybe you can find a way to get rid of your ban during that time."

Harry was waiting for that. He reached into his pocket. "Already done!" With a triumphant smile, he put the old Map on top of the book. James snatched it up &amp; inspected it.

"Hmm," James grunted, handing it back. "Lucky brat is all." They glared at each other. "Alright alright. I'll owl them. But you can forget about getting the Alpha rank back."

"Oh I don't need that one anymore," Harry waved it away.

"Which by the way," James went on. "Don't ever do something like that again! You could have been killed." Harry stuffed his mouth with a large helping of cake, rolling his eyes. James sat back in his chair before going on. "I had a look at that tape you mentioned. I won't be talking to either of them about it." Mouth still too full with cake, Harry could only look at him. "That was ...It was a really, really bad time. I saw how cut up he was. I'd rather not bring it up again. So I destroyed the tape. You saw it anyway so it doesn't matter."

So, James did still care about Sirius. Inwardly smiling, Harry looked at his half finished slice. "Ok, I guess so. But if he does it again …"

"Yeah yeah," James laughed. "I'll deal with him."

James covered the other half of the cake, then led Harry through the rest of the mansion. There was one bedroom that had a large mistletoe branch hanging from the ceiling. Actually, it covered the whole ceiling with its many leaves &amp; berries. It glowed a pale yellow.

"This is the room Cadmus killed himself in," James began. He pointed at a picture of Cadmus &amp; his girl on the wall nearest the door, dancing together under a tree.

"The one with the Stone &amp; the dead girl."

"Yeah," James nodded. "He summoned her in this very room, then killed himself to join her properly." James pointed at the opposite wall. "That's where he was found, lying on the floor. This mistletoe used to be small many ages ago. Someone back then put a spell on it that slows down time. It took a while to grow this big. Some day it will outgrow that yellow shield, then it will wither &amp; die of old age unless one of us Peverells bothers to figure the spell out &amp; redo it."

James took Harry to another part of the castle, pointing out pictures of ancient family along the way. There was one of the Dumbledore family &amp; Harry was surprised to know that Dumbledore had a sister &amp; a brother to. The Dumbledores were also a distant part of the Peverell family tree.

"I'm related to Dumbledore?" Harry followed James along.

"There's someone else you'll be surprised to find in our branches," James pointed to another picture.

Harry stared at the young man. He had a Hogwarts' Prefect's badge on his school robes. He had seen that person once before, in the Chamber of Secrets. He stared at James. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Nope."

"Voldemort?"

"Yep!"

Harry looked back at the picture. "Like why?"

James laid an arm across Harry's shoulders. "Sex. Why else?"

"Dad!" Harry hissed through gritted teeth, earning a laugh. "So you're telling me that all this is really a big family feud?"

"Well yes &amp; no," James said. "I don't think he knows. Even if he ever found out, I doubt he would care."

Harry cast another dark look at the picture before following James out of that room. They spent most of the day cleaning room after room of the castle while James told him more of going on searches for the other two Hallows with his own father. Harry was able to do magic inside the mansion since the Trace on him could not penetrate the ancient magics hiding the mansion, for which he was forever grateful. The cleaning went much faster. Harry found Antioch in a large bedroom, holding his wand close to his chest so only the end showed while Harry cleaned the frame. They had even done the large parlour with the Romanovs on one wall. The chandelier was sparkling by evening, making the polished golden frame gleam &amp; all the spiders mad as they got literally thrown outside.

Hedwig had also returned by lunch, dropping a large dead sewer rat at the door which James stepped on. Naturally, Hedwig was driven off by James's howls of disgust &amp; received no comfort from Harry who all but killed himself laughing. Harry had to venture to the very edge of the shielding at the far end of the apple orchard, climb the tree nearly to the top &amp; hold out a large piece of an owl cookie to tempt her back down.

Harry went to sleep in a bedroom at least three times the size of the dorms &amp; woke up with the usual feeling of disorientation. Even the bed was large &amp; he was lost in the center of it. He went down to a breakfast of sausage &amp; mince pie, finishing off with more of his cake (in smaller pieces). He went onto the front porch as he finished another slice. James was lying on the loveseat swing, with Hedwig perched on the back of it.

James looked Harry over before asking, "Are you sure you want to go?"

Harry reached across to pet Hedwig. "Yeah, I'd like to see Mum."

"Alright," James stood up. "We'll start with that."

They apparated to the gate of the cemetery. James led the way, pausing at a few of the older graves as they passed by. He pointed out the ancient grave of Ignotus, stopped for a short time by Charlus &amp; Dorea Potter, before finally reaching Lily &amp; Andrew. Harry moved forward slowly. This was as close to his mother as he could ever remember. He looked down on the double grave, feeling a sense of finality. She was really here, eight feet down.

"Do you want to wait here a moment?" James asked. "I just saw the caretaker. I need to speak to him about cracking this open."

"Open?" Harry gasped.

"Well Andrew doesn't belong there," said James. "Might as well get it over with."

"Right," Harry looked down on the plot again.

"After that, the real work begins," James went on. "Finding Andrew's family &amp; explaining the mess." He walked away towards the caretaker.

Harry went back to his grandparents about two rows up from Lily while James &amp; the old caretaker who was also a wizard began cracking open Lily's double grave. The left side was soon raised up &amp; put aside. Then Andrew's coffin was lifted out. James himself cut the headstone in half, removing the wrongfully marked one with his name on it &amp; a new blank one appeared. The caretaker removed Andrew's coffin as James turned to refill the hole with the displaced dirt. He looked down into the damp maw for a moment &amp; seemed to freeze. Harry hesitated before coming over.

James was still staring into the hole. Harry looked down &amp; could see a panel of mahogany buried under the dirt above Lily. It was one side of her casket. Harry quickly looked away. "Ok Dad, should I get a shovel? I can't use magic out here."

James looked at him. "I can do it in a second." At that, he finally levitated the pile of earth &amp; let it fall into the empty side. The ground was now sunk in by almost a foot. James stood silently, staring down at it.

"Dad?" Harry said after a few minutes had passed. "You said something about legal documents at the house?"

James finally turned away. "Yeah. We should go get them."

Without another word, James headed across town. Harry followed until they came to the statue in the center of town. He looked up at it for a few moments, then ran to catch up to James who hadn't stopped. They came to a long fence running along an open field. But as they moved closer, a cottage materialised &amp; a sign of magic appeared at the gates. It was covered in many names of those who had visited the place for the past fifteen years. James slowly read through each of them, then opened the gate &amp; both stepped inside the front yard.

Harry looked up to see the top half of the house had collapsed on one side. He knew instantly that would be where his first bedroom would be. James paused at the door before opening it &amp; at long last, stepped inside the house he had grown up in for the first time in years. Harry was surprised to see the inside. It was a large mansion, not a cottage, with several rooms per floor &amp; had two floors.

Markings had been placed at the bottom of the stairs, revealing the spot where Andrew Scott had fallen dead. Harry went upstairs &amp; found the large washroom he had read about so long ago. Two of the three mirrors were still standing but the third panel was shattered. He looked at the bath James had used after his first encounter with Orion. He sat on the edge &amp; stared at nothing.

An angry hiss &amp; a shriek made Harry run out into the hall. A cat sailed through the air passed his head &amp; landed on the top stair, fur bristled &amp; spitting. "UNBELEIVABLE!" James bellowed. Harry turned to see him holding his nose. "BLOODY CAT!" Harry doubled over laughing. "CRAZY LUNATIC!" Harry lay on the floor in pain. "Oh stop laughing!" James ordered. "You're a guy to. She'll hate you!" Still holding his nose with one hand, James marched to the stairs. "Misty! Get out of here or I will MURDER you!" He shot a bolt of magic at her &amp; Misty went streaking for the living room, yowling at the top of her lungs. James shook his head &amp; glared down at Harry. "Why is that monster still alive?"

"You wouldn't happen to be talking about me would you?" Remus asked, as he came up the stairs. Both James &amp; Harry yelled in surprise. Remus looked at Harry, then James. "Do you have any idea the mess you made now Jim? The entire Order is in an uproar, looking for Harry. Dumbledore's furious! Fudge thinks Harry's skipping out. What's wrong with your nose? Happy birthday Harry." Remus handed him a large chocolate bar.

"He's my son. It's his birthday. Misty attacked me. I don't care about anything else."

"Misty?" Remus looked down the stairs to see her coming back up, tail held high. "Oh wow! She's still alive?" He went down to pick her up as James snarled 'Not for long.' under breath. She began purring in his arms. James stared at Remus. "Must be the werewolf thing," Remus shrugged.

"If you want that creature, you can have her," James muttered.

Remus cuddled Misty closer. "Poor thing. Why, she must be a year older than Harry!" Misty purred, rubbing against his neck. "Ok, you can spend your twilight years with me then. Hmm?"

"Sickening!" James marched passed to get into the washroom. He began looking at his nose in the mirror, ignoring Harry &amp; Remus who were both laughing at him. Misty hissed at Harry.

"Is he up there?" Sirius stood on the bottom stair.

"Look who we found," Remus turned so that Sirius could see the white cat.

Sirius half-smiled at Misty &amp; began to come up. But James shoved Remus aside &amp; shot a jet of magic at Sirius, making him sail out of sight through the air the entire length of the ground floor hall. Sirius crashed in a pile by the door leading to the front porch. "How dare you show your face?" James stomped down stairs, wand aimed for Sirius's heart. "Get out of here!"

Sirius looked helplessly up at him. "Jim." 

"I said leave!" James cursed him again. "I do not want to speak to you!"

Remus put Misty on the floor &amp; bounded down the stairs, Harry close behind. Remus threw himself between James &amp; Sirius. He put up a shield between the pair before James could do more damage. "James, calm down."

"Oh ganging up on me are you?" James retorted. "Fine be a jerk!" He stormed into the living room.

Keeping the shield up, Remus slowly followed. "I don't know what you two did now &amp; I really don't care at the moment."

"You don't know?" James whirled around, shooting a dark glare at Sirius who was standing behind Remus. "You didn't tell him?"

"I plan to," Sirius said quietly. "Jim it's just temporary."

"I don't care!" James hissed through gritted teeth. "Count me out until it changes. Now get out of my house!" He turned away as if that settled the matter.

"I will," Sirius said. "I've just come to check up on you."

"I'm here for Harry," said Remus. "Once you removed him from whatever hiding place you had, the Trace reappeared in the Ministry's tracking room. I have to keep him under constant surveillance now so he won't run away again."

"I never ran away in the first place," Harry said. "Dad kidnapped me for my birthday is all. I would have come back on my own."

Remus cast Harry a short smile. "_**I **_know that, Harry. It's merely what the Ministry wants."

"I don't put much stock into that Ministry," James said.

"Neither do we," Remus tried to soothe him. He let the shield drop at last. "Someone else from the Order will have to take Harry to his hearing by the way since you've got a warrant on your head."

"No I'll take him," James said.

"You can't," Remus tried to remind him. "The arrest."

"Watch me," James neatly stepped around Remus &amp; grabbed Sirius by the hair. He yanked some out. 

"OUCH!" Sirius clapped both hands to the side of his head. "That hurt." He received a rude hand sign for his moanings.

"Every good Auror keeps a constant stash of Polyjuice handy," James put the hairs into a vial. "If I said I'm going to go, I mean I'm going to go. You can't stop me."

"Actually I can," Remus hissed softly. "I just won't ... for now. But I'll go as well, to keep an eye on you."

"That won't be necessary," James replied darkly.

"Necessary?" Remus echoed. "I think it is."

"I don't care what you think," James snapped at him.

"Don't you dare get mad at me now," Remus returned. "Harry? Let's go."

"Can you two wait outside for a few minutes?"

"Harry," Remus growled. Harry merely smiled sweetly. Remus huffed. "Just like your mother!" He grabbed Sirius by the hand &amp; pulled him outside. "Five minutes 'Lily'! No longer."

"Don't forget the cat," James shot at their retreating backs before going back upstairs without a backwards glance. Misty came mewling downstairs &amp; went outside to find Remus.

Harry went up as well. There were several doors along the upper hall. One was half closed &amp; he could feel a draft coming from it. A few blocks of rubble lay in the opening. Harry wondered if that was his bedroom, the room his mother died in. He turned to the first door on his right &amp; entered. The room had several old Quidditch posters on one wall, Gryffindor colors on the bed &amp; several pictures of four boys along another wall. The final wall was a mural of a forest. In it, a large stag moved about. It was a life-size wizard's picture of Prongs. This must have been James's room when he was young.

Harry went back to the hall &amp; entered the room exact opposite it. From what he had read in the diary, this should be the room Sirius had taken over when he moved in. Sure enough, it had a few pictures of a motorbike in it. Wondering what Sirius did that had him in James's doghouse once more, Harry moved to the desk by the window. The drawer was half open &amp; he was about to close it when he noticed part of a picture lying inside. He pulled it out.

A teenage boy was lying on his back across the width of the bed with his head slightly over the edge. He had his arms spread out along the edge of the bed &amp; was wearing black with the shirt opened completely. One leg was partly bent up. His upside-down gaze was golden. It was a simple yet somehow erotic picture. Harry was in the process of deciding to return it to Remus, then wondered if it was a good idea to let on that he accidently saw this picture. It wasn't moving. The steady golden gaze was nearly hypnotic. Harry turned it over to see Kodiak written across the back. It was as muggle as a picture could get. He put it back in the drawer, then looked out the window over the yard by the side of the house to see Sirius &amp; Remus sitting down on a bench under one of the nut trees. Remus shifted to lie down with his head in Sirius's lap. Just as Harry was about to turn away, Sirius leaned down, giving Remus an upside-down kiss. Harry crossed his eyes, pulling away from the window.

"Those two," Harry grumbled under breath as he slowly moved down the hall. James was right. They never stopped.

He was getting ever closer to the nursery, but didn't plan on going near it without James beside him. As he came to the next door, he heard low voices coming from inside. The door was open about an inch so Harry leaned against the wall to listen.

"I thought you were dead all this time," came a woman's voice.

"There are times I wished I was," said James. "Orion messed things up again."

"Oh that dreadful man!" Lily complained. "I'm glad he finally got the Kiss. How is Harry? I thought he was dead all this time to. It's really hard being stuck in a picture frame in one room. I can barely believe what you told me."

James laughed softly. "Sorry. I'll take this along so you won't get left out again."

They discussed Harry for a few minutes, then the conversation turned to Remus, which unfortunately included Sirius. "What did he do now?" Lily said, half teasing.

"I'd rather not discuss it," James grumbled stubbornly.

"Oh you two!" Lily laughed. "You made a good pair."

James scoffed. "You have no idea."

"Oh come on Jim," Lily went on. "I know perfectly well you two had an affair."

"What?" James &amp; Harry said at the exact same time ...fortunately.

"Oh please, it was so obvious," Lily said. There was a short silence. "Jim, a woman knows these things, especially since I'm your wife. I don't mind. I know why it happened."

James sighed heavily. "So how long have you known then?"

"Since our big fight in the bath tub."

"The ...what?"

"When I caught you in the Prefect's Bath where you didn't belong," Lily said somewhat accusingly. Then her voice softened. "We had a bit of a fight &amp; then that's when you first mentioned to me about Orion."

"Oh that," James muttered. "Hang on, you've known that long?"

"Yeah," said Lily. "I told you that people noticed you &amp; Sirius were a lot closer. Most thought it was because you were doing a lot of Auror work. But the moment Orion came out, I knew exactly what was going on. Then Sirius came in &amp; I watched the two of you the whole time. That kiss with the pineapple chunk was rather slick, but I was already on to you."

Harry was gaping by now &amp; was sure James was in the same state.

"Really?" James finally said.

"It's ok Jim. I understand perfectly," Lily went on.

"If you knew that long, why did you ask me out at the end of the year?"

"I asked as a friend only," Lily said. "I was just wanting to check up on you is all. But you didn't act how I expected &amp; I'm not referring to your arrogant self. You seemed to be courting me that whole time yet I had assumed you were still with Sirius."

"I was, right up until that very day," said James. "We never intended for it to last. Just until I found myself again. We had planned from the beginning that someday you &amp; Remus would be with us. In fact, Sirius told me to go on that date with you to see if I could handle being on my own. He said if it worked out that I was free to continue with you if I wished."

"I see." There was a longer silence before Lily added, "You know, I'm glad I caught you in that tub. I think it's where we finally started to be friends. If I had never have gone there that night, who knows how things would have turned out?"

Truer words had never been spoken. James didn't tell the whole story. Harry knew that Sirius had come close to staying with James forever &amp; going public. But James had slowly gotten closer to Lily &amp; the final push was finding out about Remus's short life.

"If I recall correctly you screamed so loud I nearly went deaf," James laughed.

"Yeah well, you were still a bit of an idiot then," Lily muttered.

"You got what you deserved. You asked me to get out of the tub, I got out. By the way, you never did answer me. Did you like what you saw?"

"Stop talking to me James," Lily ordered. James could only laugh &amp; it was all Harry could do to keep silent. When they both calmed down, Lily went on, "You're still an idiot."

"Oh blaaaahhh!" James bleated like Prongs. "Well you obviously did like what you see. We have Harry as proof."

"Gross!" Harry gagged to himself.

"True," Lily said. "So does he have anyone yet?"

Harry decided to randomly walk in before he heard anything weird. "Hi Dad," He shoved the door open hard &amp; fast. He looked at the picture. Lily was sitting on the edge of a boat in the lake behind the house.

"Hi Harry," Lily looked him over. "We were just talking about you."

"Nothing bad I hope," said Harry.

"Well let's see," Lily teased.

"I'll take this to the other house," said James, picking up the picture. He said to Lily. "We can finish this later." Harry wanted to kick James but since the antlers were partly out, he didn't dare try. Instead, he glanced around the large room looking for something to kick. "This is the master bedroom," James said. "Mum &amp; Dad's until I took over. Then it was mine &amp; Lily's."

James stepped out of the room &amp; headed for the stairs. He paused &amp; looked back down the hall. The other end couldn't be seen since the rubble had collapsed the roof. The late afternoon sun streamed in where it shouldn't normally be found. His eyes drifted to the door of the nursery. He suddenly walked to the door &amp; after a moment's hesitation, went inside.

Harry waited for several minutes before deciding to join him. He entered his first bedroom at last &amp; found James sitting on one hip in the center of an outline marked out on the carpet, the place where Lily had been found dead. The sun shone down over him through the hole in the roof. Harry moved in slowly, looking the room over. The crib was still there. Some of the rubble had fallen on one end, crushing it. He looked in to find a faded purple dinosaur. He moved to the far wall that was still half standing &amp; looked at the carpet. This was near the area James had made that large cut but there was too much dust &amp; crumbled bits of wall on the carpet to find anything. His eyes landed on a broom about two feet long. It was so tiny that he had a hard time imagining himself ever riding it. He picked it up.

"We got that for your first birthday," James spoke suddenly, startling Harry so much he dropped the toy broom. James was still sitting in the same spot, unmoving, but looking up at Harry.

"I don't remember it," Harry said after he recovered. "Dad, what do you plan to do with this house?"

"I want to restore it to," said James. "Just like the Peverell Mansion. Then I'll sell this one to muggles after clearing out all the charms on it."

"Why muggles?"

"This house is useless to us now," James explained. "If a Fidelus Charm is betrayed, the area will not accept it again. So I might as well get rid of it. I'll come back some other day to go through any personal things. You can come if you want. Anything you want here we can transfer to the other house."

"But Dad, you grew up in this house. Sirius lived here to."

"I was raised with the knowledge that this house was temporary," said James. "Unlike you, I learned my true heritage when I turned eleven. This house is not my home. Peverell Mansion is. I was going to fix the secret charms so I could tell Lily who I really was. She never knew! Then I would have gone back there with Lily after we came out of hiding. Potter Manor was never meant to be permanent. The very name Potter is a fraud, remember? We are Peverell." He turned his attention to the crib in front of him, putting a hand on one of the bars. He said to himself (though Harry heard), "I really wish Lily could have seen the mansion."

Harry moved back to James &amp; stood beside him, staring at the crib. "I hear her last words &amp; Andrew's to, as you, whenever I'm near Dementors. Sometimes, I even see the flash of green. The color of green. It's my earliest memory but the Dementors ruined it. I know now that it was the flash of death. Not some weird sighting of green."

"Dementors are incredible creatures," James said. He finally got up. His eyes drifted to the half open closet. "So I did leave it here." James moved to the closet door upon which hung a dusty old cloak. He shook it out, then draped it over his arm. It seemed to be a very dark green. It was the same cloak that Harry had seen his father wearing in the photo album in the front picture with James &amp; Lily holding Harry up together. "We should go," James went on. "Before Remus has a litter. I'll be in the flat in London for a bit. Stop by if you want. You know how to get to it right?"

"If I'm at the Leaky Cauldron, yeah."

"Ok, I'll wait for you there."

Harry didn't quite understand why James would wait for him. He had expected to be stuck under guard with Remus until his hearing to which James would go looking like Sirius. But he had no time to ask as Remus walked up to them, holding Misty in one arm &amp; the next thing Harry knew, he was whisked away.


	66. Chapter 66

Dear 2016 - FUCK YOU! Can't believe how many have died inside a week ... including Alan Rickman! Still taking people. Took Glenn Frey of the Eagles today. Just STOP!

Fuck off!

* * *

**(66) Intervention**

"Sirius went on ahead," Remus explained as he &amp; Harry landed on a street. Harry was handed a piece of paper. He found himself watching as another house that didn't seem like it was there suddenly emerge from between the two other houses.

Remus pulled him inside a loud hall with some woman screeching at Sirius who was yelling right back. It was a large painting on the wall &amp; after much struggle, both Remus &amp; Sirius managed to shut her up by closing the curtains.

Sirius leaned against the wall, glaring at the curtains. Remus put Misty down &amp; came up to Sirius, giving him a quick kiss. "Having fun?"

"Loads," Sirius grumbled. "I see you've met my mother." He said to Harry.

"Your mother?"

"Yeah, this is my house."

Harry stared in surprise for a moment before being led away. He was sent upstairs to find Ron &amp; Hermione while the Order were apparently gathered for a meeting. Harry didn't talk to them much apart from saying he knew everything since James had told him.

"So what did he say?" Ron pressed.

"Lot's of stuff," Harry glared. "None of which I can tell you."

"Don't be like this Harry," Hermione began.

"Like what?" Harry snapped at her. "I was left in the dark for most of the summer while you two were here. No letters. No noth—"

"Dumbledore made as swear not to put it into a letter," Hermione tried again.

"It's a covert operation," Ron added.

Harry huffed, threw his trunk in the corner &amp; then whirled around on them. He yelled himself hoarse at them &amp; would have continued had not the twins appeared literally out of thin air.

"Ah there's the runaway!"

"I didn't run a—"

"Prodigal son!"

"Fred!"

"George actually."

"I don't care!"

"Neither do we."

Harry glared at them. He went down to the kitchen in a bad mood, wishing he was back at Peverell Mansion with his father. They all sat down to supper &amp; for a while, Harry forgot to be angry. Tonks entertained everyone by pulling literal faces, changing her appearance, earning laughter around the table. After nearly two hours at the table, Molly tried to shuffle everyone off to bed but Sirius held her back.

"Before anything else, I have to say something," Sirius began. "Harry I'm surprised you didn't ask anything."

"Dad told me everything."

Sirius sat back, smiling softly. But Molly made a noise of disapproval. "How much Harry dear? What did Jim say?"

"I know everything, even about some weapon Volde…VOLDEMORT!" Harry said as several people winced. "Is looking for."

"Why would he tell you all of it?" Molly whimpered.

"I'm glad somebody finally clued me in," Harry muttered. "All I need to ask really is how's Buckbeak?"

"He's fine," Sirius said. "He's upstairs in my mother's old room."

"Why isn't Jim here?" Tonks asked.

All eyes were on Sirius who merely shrugged. "No idea."

"He doesn't even have the address," Tonks said. "I heard Snape tried to give it to him but he had refused. He wants nothing to do with us."

"That isn't quite true," Sirius said. "He's still an Auror. One of us. Just doesn't want to come here. I don't blame him. We both hate this house but it's all we have right now."

"Why do you hate it?" Harry asked.

"It's full of Dark objects &amp; a lot of weaponry for ..." Sirius's eyes drifted into Remus's. "For killing werewolves."

"This is only the second time I'm in this house," Remus said. "I can't stay here too long until some things get cleared out."

"We've been clearing this house out all summer," one of the twins complained.

"Sirius is a taskmaster," said the other.

Sirius laughed at them. "Molly's worse than I. OUCH!" Molly had smacked him over the head with a tea towel.

"Alright, enough for now," Molly said. "Off to bed."

Harry soon learned that Hermione &amp; Ron were right about one thing. It wasn't much fun being in the Headquarters of the Order. The moment he was out of bed it seemed that they were all cleaning, clearing out, yelling at Kreacher &amp; somehow finding time to eat in between (&amp; all this without magic for under-aged folk, much to Harry's annoyance). They had removed several silver objects from one room. Other rooms had other magical objects that seemed like they belonged in Borgin &amp; Burkes, including a weird music box that slowly but surely put everyone to sleep, until Ginny managed to slam the thing shut. By late afternoon, Harry's arms were aching &amp; he was wishing more &amp; more that he was at his own mansion where he could use magic without anyone knowing.

It wasn't until a few days later when Harry was in one particular large room that everything fell into place. He was staring at a tapestry that had the Black family tree on it. Sirius came to stand beside him.

"So you grew up here?"

"Yeah, this was my home," Sirius sighed, looking over the tapestry. "How I hated them. I was sixteen when I finally ran away."

"Where'd you go?"

"Round to your Dad's place," Sirius said. Harry turned away from the tapestry to look at Sirius &amp; was alarmed at what he saw. Sirius stood there, eyes closed &amp; a few silent tears glistened on his cheeks. He gasped suddenly &amp; glared at the tapestry once more. "I've never been back since that day …" He said, ending in a whisper. "Until now."

"What day? When you ran away?"

"Mhm," Sirius sighed.

Harry glanced at the old worn carpet. Then it hit him hard. He looked up at Sirius but he had his eyes closed again, head bowed, as if trying to not burst into tears. Harry shook his head as he stepped away. It couldn't be, could it? He ran for the stairs, ignoring Sirius calling out to him. Harry ran up part way &amp; noticed a missing bar in the railings.

"I tried fixing that," Remus came down the stairs. "It just wo—Harry what's wrong?"

"Harry ..." Sirius came to the base of the stairs. "Harry please listen to m—"

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM?!" Harry bellowed as he launched himself at Sirius's throat. Both went sprawling to the ground. "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LOOK OUT FOR HIM! HOW COULD YOU?" Harry swung his fist, punching Sirius hard on the nose.

"HARRY!" Remus ran down to the struggling pair. "What is the matter with you?"

Harry ignored him as he continued to shout at Sirius who was showing little resistance. Hermione, Ron, Tonks, several Weasleys &amp; a few others soon appeared as Harry punched Sirius again. "Yet you wonder why he's mad at you?" he gasped between tears. "I can't bel—THIS house. THIS HOUSE! OF ALL PLACES!"

"Harold James!" Remus yanked Harry off Sirius before he could land another blow. "That is enough!" Harry struggled until Remus growled loudly in his ear. "What is wrong with you?"

Harry could only answer with tears. "This house!"

"Yeah we heard that," Remus said.

"TELL HIM NOW!" Harry screamed at Sirius. "Or I will."

Sirius pulled himself up. He rubbed his nose which was bleeding. He looked down the hall where the others were standing, looking on in horror. He turned back to look Remus in the eye. "Ray ... this is my house."

"We all know that."

"Ray," Sirius hung his head.

A long moment passed before Harry gave up on him. "This is the house Dad was first raped in!" Remus released Harry like a live wire. Everyone gasped in surprise as Harry pointed on the stairs. "Right there. On those stairs. That's where Orion threw him. That bar is missing 'cause Dad ripped it out when … when it ..." Harry gasped between sobs. "When i-it hap-happened!"

Ron was gaping at Sirius while Hermione buried her face in her hands. Remus growled. "Is this true? Padfoot."

"Yes," Sirius gasped. "Moony please! It's just temporary! It's all we ha—"

It was Remus's turn to launch himself at Sirius who had to quickly switch to Padfoot. Everyone screamed as a mad werewolf rolled over &amp; over in a vicious fight with the Grim. Though human, Remus had partially transformed. The scruffy fur was out. His nails were longer &amp; sharper. His eyes were gold shot through with red &amp; he sunk his fangs into every inch of Padfoot he could bite.

Hermione suddenly let out an ear-splitting trill. "PROFESSOR LUPIN! WATCH OUT!" She screamed again as she jumped away, clutching one bleeding hand.

Remus &amp; Padfoot froze mid-roll. Remus jumped to his feet. "Ohh ... no. No!" He reached for Hermione's hand, inspecting the wounds. "Oh no! What have I done?" He fell to his knees.

"Hermione!" Harry &amp; Ron clustered around her, both putting their hands under her bleeding one. Padfoot lay half passed out on the floor, bloody &amp; heaving for breath.

"Let's get her to St. Mungo's," Tonks said. "Now!"

Padfoot whimpered but was ignored as the entire group stampeded down the hall, passed a shrieking Madam Black &amp; out the door. They apparated to the hospital, leaving Padfoot alone in the house.

Remus sat on the bench, his head in his hands. Harry slowly sat down beside him. "How much blood did you get?" He asked.

Remus shook his head. "Lots."

"So will you be ok then? You don't seem like you've gone mad."

Remus shook his head again &amp; looked up at Harry. "He's trying to access the link. I'm cutting him out. I can't believe he used that house. Harry, is it really that place?" Harry nodded. Remus sighed heavily. "I have a lot of blood in my mouth. Padfoot's. I don't know how much I got from Hermione." He fell silent a moment. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" He jumped to his feet, growling. "I will not speak to him for a very long time!" Remus turned away, opened the link. /Two words. Fuck &amp; off!/ At that he slammed it shut &amp; refused further contact.

A few moments later, Sirius threw open the door &amp; walked in on them. He was still bleeding but the werewolf venom had been dissolved by now with the Animagic. "I'm trying to tell yo—"

"I don't want to hear it Sirius!" Remus declared.

Sirius took a big breath. "I BIT HERMIONE! YOU BLOODY IDIOT!" They stared at each other. "It was an accident though. I was aiming for you!" Remus burst into tears of relief as he buried his face into Sirius's shoulder. Harry &amp; Ron dashed to the hospital room where Hermione had been taken. Remus slipped down to the floor once more. Sirius went down with him, holding on. "Shh. Moony. It's ok. You're fine. I'm so sorry for everything."

"Don't think this changes anything," Remus managed to say when he had calmed down a bit. "How dare you do that to Jim? How dare you!"

"I don't intend to keep it this way," Sirius said. "We needed something quick. It gives us more time to find another place."

Remus stared at him, not knowing what to say. His eyes caught sight of the group returning to the lobby. Hermione looked right back at him. Remus got to his feet. "I'm glad you're ok."

Hermione held up her newly mended hand. "It was just a dog," she came in closer, shooting a look at Sirius who muttered 'sorry' under breath. "I'm fine."

"If it had been me I ... I don't know what I would do."

"Well it wasn't you," Hermione said. "We got lucky."

She didn't have time to say more as everyone else suddenly pressed around her, making sure she was ok. Remus slowly pulled away. When he was free from the crowd, he headed for the door, alone.

"Remus," Harry ran up to him. "Where are you going?"

"To find Jim," Remus said.

"I know where he is," said Harry. "His London flat." He suddenly understood what James had meant by waiting for him. He was waiting for his son to figure it out.

Remus looked back towards the lobby. Sirius had his back towards them, talking to Ron. Remus bared fangs in a low growl before turning to the door. "Let's go. I'm supposed to keep an eye on you anyway." Harry rolled his eyes.

They landed in the hall of the flat. Harry led the way into the living room &amp; sure enough, James was sprawled along the couch, cup of coffee on the table &amp; looking into the old Peverell diary. He closed the book. "Hmpf. Took you longer than I thought."

Harry sat down on the couch as James swung his legs off to sit up while Remus took the chair across the little table. "I nearly bit Hermione, I was so mad." Remus explained.

"Good thing it was just Padfoot," James said.

"Jim. I ...uh ..."

"I don't want to talk about it," James snapped.

Remus sighed heavily, leaning back in the chair. "I guess not."

James looked him over. "You're a right ugly sight Moony."

Remus glanced down over himself. He was covered in blood &amp; tufts of black fur were stuck in several places all over his body. His nails, now back to human size, had cracks from being forced out &amp; all had black fur under them. Remus looked up at James &amp; grumbled under breath.

"Come on you mangy fleabag," James got up. "I'll show you where the washroom is so you can clean up." Still grumbling, Remus reluctantly followed. "Quit your growling," James closed the door after Remus went in. He went back to the living room where Harry was snickering. After a long silence, James asked, "So how did it look?"

"Dusty, old, run down," Harry said quickly. "It has a lot of charms on it. Very well protected for the Order."

James sat down next to Harry again. "I know it's Sirius's house. I've just forgotten exactly where it is because of the Fidelus Charm. I don't want to remember it at all, but I'll take whatever memory erased I can."

"I hope they find another place soon," said Harry. "He never should have given that one to the Order!"

"What's done is done," James snarled. "I simply refuse to be given the address. I'm not going back to that place!" He picked up the old diary again. "Here. It's about time I starting showing you how to read this thing."

Knowing the subject of Sirius &amp; his house was closed, Harry took the Peverell diary. They were huddled together, bent over it, with James slowly teaching Harry the ancient language in it, when Remus returned about an hour later. He barked softly to announce his presence. James &amp; Harry looked up to see Remus leaning against the door frame, wearing a black satin robe with a golden trim. Harry watched slightly confused as James pushed the diary between them down into the cushions of the couch.

"Feel better?" James teased. Remus just hissed at him. "You look better." He leaned back, pressing the diary completely out of sight with one hip as he shifted to sit over it a little. "Are you waiting for a written invitation or something? Sit down." James pointed at the arm chair.

Remus hesitated in the doorway. "Will you be ok with that?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well I ..." Remus looked down indicating the bath robe. "My clothes are gone. This is all that was left."

They shared a look before James sighed in frustration. "Ray ...Remus, I'm not made of glass. Now will you get over here?"

"Just asking," Remus finally came in &amp; curled up in the large arm chair.

James acted like he didn't notice as he reached for the Daily Prophet lying on the table. Harry however, noticed quite well as Remus moved into the room. He sat into the chair with his legs folded under on the cushion &amp; leaned against the back. His eyes shifted occasionally into gold &amp; back again, looking over his two pack-mates. Harry could see two deep long scars running down Remus's chest in the V-line of the robe until they disappeared.

James looked up from his paper for a moment. "You don't have to ask me, you know. I feel perfectly safe with you ... despite what you are."

"Well …thanks Jim," Remus half laughed. "I guess you're over your cynophobia then."

James laughed quickly. "I mean you being a Dominatrix, not just a werewolf." Harry closed his eyes in a silent groan.

Remus wondered if the time was close to at last ask James about going into therapy. It had been ages since any of them had talked about it. Even Sirius had stopped harassing James. Was now a good time to ease him into it? "We never do anything without permission. It's in my nature to ask."

"Mhm," James turned a new leaf in the paper. "You've outgrown all of us. I wonder if you can even fit something of mine for tonight?"

"I used to be the runt of the group," Remus scoffed.

Harry glanced between them, feeling as if he had missed something. He didn't remember either James or Remus discussing if Remus was staying here or not. It seemed to be a mutual understanding between them. James folded the paper &amp; tossed it back onto the table. "I'll be finished with this place by the end of the month."

Remus's eyes switched to gold in a blink. "Where are you going?"

"I'm already gone," James said. "Back to Godric's Hollow."

"James!" Remus gasped. "You know Dumbledore's nervous about that place. He doesn't want the Order there."

"I'm not the Order," James said. "I'm only one person."

"A valuable one," Remus pointed out. "You are one of the best Aurors of our time!"

"I'm not quitting being a soldier," James said. "Relax. I know what I'm doing."

"You shouldn't have brought Harry there."

"Godric's Hollow is my home," James insisted.

"It was," said Remus. "Oh Jim. I can't even begin to imagine how you must miss Lily."

"I do," James admitted.

"But now isn't the time," Remus went on. "Wait until all this is over."

James smiled at Remus. "It isn't Lily I've gone back for. My family have been there for generations. Longer than you can imagine. Godric's Hollow used to be owned entirely by just my ancestors."

"Yeah about that," Remus sat straight &amp; leaned forward. "I did some research on you." Harry &amp; James both seemed to become very still. "Sirius had come home one day, asking about some guy named Ignotus. Said he had some connection to you. If your family's so big &amp; old like you're claiming, where the hell are the rest of you? I've only found a few Potters. Nothing before your father. Where are they?"

"Don't do that!" James replied quickly.

"Do what?"

"Leave it alone," James said. "There are things about my family's past that had to be hidden for a bit. That's what I've been working on. Spells to release us."

"Release you? From what?"

"Remus, drop it," James said. "I was ready to tell you &amp; Sirius about it but then Voldemort's back. I've had to go back &amp; redo some of those spells to hide my family again."

"You can't redo the Fidelus on your house. It wo—"

"No Remus!" James interrupted. "You can't understand right now. It has nothing to do with that."

"Jim are you in some kind of other trouble now?"

"I'm fine!" James exclaimed desperately.

Remus looked James over, then turned to Harry. "What about Harry? Would it effect him?"

"I'm fine," Harry said.

Remus rubbed his brow. "Harry we need to protect you. Surely you can agree to that James?"

"I'm fine," Harry insisted. "I know exactly what's going on. We just can't tell you now for your own protection."

"Harry," Remus groaned.

"Just leave it alone," James said. "Someday. Soon. Let us work on it a bit more. For now, just focus on the hearing &amp; then getting him back to Hogwarts." Harry was nodding vigorously in agreement as James went on. "All you need to know right now, is that I am quite capable of disappearing entirely with Harry &amp; no one will ever see or hear from us again. I hope it doesn't come down to that. But I am perfectly capable of keeping Harry &amp; I both safe. You couldn't even Trace him a few days ago, could you? Did you know Harry was doing magic with me all that time? No one can know since the Trace didn't pick it up."

"What?" Remus growled. "What are you up to?"

"We'll tell you someday," James replied. "Can you please wait?"

Remus glared at him. "Christmas. You have until Christmas."

"Too soon," James shook his head.

"James!"

"Next summer."

"Valentine's."

"No," James insisted. "Next summer. Take it or leave it."

Remus looked at Harry. "Spring break."

"SUMMER!" James &amp; Harry shouted.

"ALRIGHT!" Remus caved. "Midnight at the start of July 1st or so help me Merlin!"

"Thank you!" James gasped in relief. "Would you like some hot chocolate?"

"Yes!" Remus snarled through gritted teeth, making Harry laugh.

James got up to make some. While they were alone, Remus planned to trick Harry into telling him something but Harry was giving him such a sweet Lily-ish look that Remus knew all to well in that it meant his defeat before even trying, so he gave up on it.

Harry took the Peverell diary with him to bed, putting it between the mattress &amp; box spring. He, like Remus, had left Headquarters without his bag but unlike Remus, Harry had one spare change of clothes &amp; pj's in the dresser of his own room. He settled into bed with the Animagic book &amp; read through it until he fell asleep. He woke suddenly to an Elk whistle. It was still dark out, only around two in the morning. Harry crept down the hall to his father's bedroom. The door was open an inch. Remus was grumbling under breath.

"HALF THIS BLANKET IS MINE YOU MANGY MUTT!" James shouted. "Now lie down. OUCH!" Remus had nipped James right on the nose, not enough to break skin but it still hurt. "Oi!" James groaned. "How did you end up married anyway? You snore like a hurricane &amp; you steal the bedcovers. I thought you canine people slept on the floor?"

Harry had one hand over his mouth to keep from laughing. James &amp; Remus settled down once more.

"For the record, Sirius &amp; I don't sleep much when we're to—"

"Shut up!" James complained. Remus whined like a puppy. "Go to sleep. Quietly." Harry went back to his own bed to try sleeping again.

When the sun had just come up, Remus awoke first to find himself on the edge of the bed with very little blanket cover. He looked down on James, sleeping soundly beside him, fully wrapped. James had ingeniously found a way to get the blanket under him as well as over, leaving nothing for poor Remus to use. Remus licked his chops, leaned over James very close to his ear &amp; then barked loudly.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" James sat bolt right up, rubbing his ear. Across the hall in his own room, Harry also shot to his feet at the yell. "Stupid werewolf! This is why I used to be a cat person, before I met Misty!" James left the bedroom in a huff while Remus laughed so hard he fell to the floor.

"Just like back in the dorms, hey Jim?" Remus gasped between breaths. James stuck his hand back through the door frame, making a rude sign.

Harry sauntered into the kitchen a few minutes later, yawning. "Sleep alright Dad?"

James, who had been bent under the counter, trying to fix something, stood up to glare at Harry. "I don't know how Sirius does it."

"Does what?" Harry continued to play innocent.

"Sleep with Remus."

"Well Dad," Harry began, trying not to smile. "When two people like each other, they tend to get cl—OUCH!" James had thrown a spoon into Harry's face.

James went under the counter again. "He snores so loud, it makes everything vibrate."

"I bet Sirius loves th—," Harry began.

"SHUT UP!" James ordered, then continued complaining, ignoring Harry's laughter, "He's a blanket thief. He barks in his sleep. He tries to take over the whole bed. He thinks everyone has to wake up when he wakes up." James sighed heavily. "I hate werewolves."

"Then why did you get one?"

"I don't know," James groaned. He looked at Harry again. "Seemed like a good idea at the time."

Harry snorted into his glass of milk as Remus walked in. He was wearing his own clothes again that James had managed to clean. "I'm not a pet &amp; if I remember correctly," Remus began. "You said you hate everybody."

"I did? I do," said James, closing the cupboard.

"Even me?" Harry asked.

"Especially you," James replied, making Remus laugh as Harry scowled. James glared into the sink, thumped his fist on it &amp; was rewarded by a jet of water to his face. "Ray, I don't understand this muggle stuff."

"Just use Repairo on it."

"Yes, when I know what part is broken," James complained. Remus rolled his eyes &amp; got up. He had the sink fixed within a minute. Irritated, James grumbled under breath, "Whatever. Show off."

Remus was half way through laughing when someone apparated into the hall &amp; entered the kitchen. Sirius put something on the table. It was the muggle paper that was left at the door. "You're not safe here. Can we fix this now?" James snatched the paper on his way by &amp; headed for the living room without a word. Sirius was about to say something, but Remus stopped him.

"Not now," Remus said. "Let me go talk to him first. You stay here with Harry." He followed after James.

"I'm not sure how you can fix this without getting another house for the Order, Sirius," Harry pretended to be very interested in the cereal in his bowl.

"I'm looking. I'm looking!" Sirius retorted. He sat down at the table &amp; neither said anything more until Remus had re-appeared to call them.

Sirius was the last to enter the living room. James was bent over the muggle paper, doing its crossword with Harry sitting beside him to block Sirius from trying to take that place. Remus stood by the window. Sirius moved closer. "James ... please. Let me explain." James didn't answer so Sirius sat in the armchair. "I hate this. I'm trying to come up with another place &amp; the sooner the better." James remained resolutely silent &amp; focused on the crossword.

"He's mad at you," Remus said.

Sirius closed his eyes for a moment. "I didn't do it to hurt you Jim. It was just the quickest solution." James wrote in a word, ignoring him.

"He's not speaking to you," Remus said.

"Ray I think I can do without the running commentary," Sirius snapped.

The group waited in silence while James continued on the puzzle. After a while, James sighed heavily &amp; handed the paper to Harry. "I can't do this muggle one as well. I don't know enough about them. You can do it." Harry noticed only three words written in &amp; after a quick check on the questions, he knew two of them were wrong but didn't say anything about it.

"I can show you how to do it later," Harry laid it aside.

James nodded, looking anywhere but at Sirius. He realised the predicament he had put himself in. He could no longer use the game as an excuse to shut Sirius out. He finally forced himself to look across the table at Sirius. "How could you do this to me?" James began in a low but dangerous voice.

Sirius wiped his eyes before answering. "I'm sorry. Jim, I didn't know what else to do. Voldemort's back &amp; ...well it is very well protected. I don't mean for it to be forever."

"Dammit Sirius!" James punched the arm of the couch that he was leaning against. "You don't get it. It isn't even about the damn house!"

"Then tell me what it is &amp; we can fix it right now."

"The only way to fix it is to get Hermione's Time Turner," James snarled. "You never bothered to even ask me about it. How I would feel. No warning. Out of the whole damn Order, I was the very last person to know that you had offered your own house. LAST! Sirius!" James shouted, making Sirius flinch. "You weren't even the one to tell me. Do you know how I found out it was your house? Snape! He was the one sent to me to give me the address on a piece of paper. He said, 'Sirius has given us his house. We've added the Fidelus Charm. This paper will give your memory back of where it is.' Snape! Not even you! I took that paper in my hand &amp; burned it with my own power. Never even looked at it."

"James," Sirius said softly. "I am so sorry you ended up falling through the cracks like that. Everything was so sudden! We had to be quick."

"Two seconds, Sirius," James cut him off. "I was at that meeting to. You should have come to me first, THEN Dumbledore."

"You would have said no &amp; Dumbledore would have disagreed," Sirius tried.

"How would any of us know?" James shot back. "Since I never even got that chance? You people are not the only ones who know he's back! I know to. Given the circumstances, who knows Sirius? I might have actually said yes. Hey know what? I might have offered my own house."

"Your Fidelus is betr—"

"I HAVE ANOTHER HOUSE SIRIUS!" James declared. "It was my Grandfather's &amp; even before that. It's nearly a thousand years old. I might have offered that one instead!"

"James," Sirius gasped in relief. "Well where is it then? We'll move right now."

"Unfortunately, the thing's also in Godric's Hollow," James said. "Just on the other side of town."

"Oh," Sirius felt as if his relief was a balloon &amp; James had just stuck a very sharp pin into it. "Well Dumbledore wouldn't have accepted it then. Not Godric's Hollow."

"I know that," said James. "But I should have been given the chance to at least offer it. Don't you get it? I was cut right out until the very end. By you!" James was nearly in tears by now. He stood up, pressing one hand over his heart. "Sirius, I'm not even dating you anymore. Yet somehow, some way, you STILL manage to rip my heart out of my chest!" At that, he walked quickly away. All jumped slightly as they heard a door slam soon after. Harry forced himself to unclench his jaw before his teeth cracked.

"Wow!" Sirius gasped under breath, staring at Harry. "What am I going to do?"

"Mm mm!" Harry shook his head. "Don't look at me."

The three of them sat in silence, each lost in their own thoughts.

/It's time./

Sirius lay back in his chair, feeling their link open up again. /Time for what?/

/I can hear him in his bedroom, crying. DON'T MOVE!/ Sirius had almost gotten up, but Remus wasn't finished. /Believe it or not Sirius, I think we can use your mistake to our advantage. He's finally broken down. If you promise to let me lead the conversation ... I think it's time we talk to him about therapy./

Sirius was so stunned that their link went dead for over a minute. / ... Remus .../

Remus came to stand behind the chair &amp; put one hand on Sirius's shoulder. /Breathe love./ He silently laughed. /It's a shot in the dark. But I think we should try./

/What about Harry?/

/He read that damn diary so what about him? Might be good to know his father might want help. Also I think it will help to sway the Ministry. Everyone knows what happened to Jim. Perhaps they can drop the arrest in exchange for this./

"Remus you always find a way out of everything," Sirius gasped in breath, surprising Harry.

"Well, first let's talk to James," said Remus. He looked at Harry. "We can speak telepathically if we're close. It's part of the wolf bond between mates."

"I know," said Harry.

Remus moved to the couch &amp; sat down beside Harry. "We're going to talk to your father," he explained.

"Do you think he'll want to?"

"He always refused before," Remus admitted. "But we're hoping maybe this time."

"Great. How can I help?"

Remus shared a look with Sirius. "If you think you can handle it, come with us. Just let me lead the conversation. But Harry, if you do help us, you're going to see your father in a really bad state. Something kids shouldn't probably see."

"I'm fifteen!" Harry retorted, insulted. "I'm not a kid."

"To Jim you always will be," Remus said. "On the other hand, you being there might help to keep him stable &amp; maybe he'll understand that he needs to do this if not for him, then perhaps for you."

"I'm nearly the same age as Dad, when this first happened," said Harry.

"Yes," Remus nodded. "You are." He stood up. "Ok. Come with us."

Harry followed behind the other two. As they past the washroom door, Harry happened to look in &amp; caught his reflection in the mirror. He looked at his lightening bolt scar. It used to be the most favorite thing about him. Then he got to Hogwarts &amp; it seemed all anyone could look at was the scar. It had slowly but surely fallen out of grace with Harry. But now, Harry knew that it wasn't the scars on the outside that mattered. It was those on the inside. Those ones could be deadly, changing back into open wounds at a mere whim. Some of them could drive one to suicide, like what nearly happened to James. Harry moved down the hall again when he heard Remus's voice speaking to James.

Leaving Sirius near the door, Remus went to the bed &amp; lay down next to James. He leaned over, putting a hand on James's shaking shoulders. "Jim? Come here." He pulled slightly, but James resisted. "Oh come on, Prongs. It's ok." James slowly but surely allowed Remus to hold him. He hid his face into the werewolf's chest as he shook with quiet sobs. Remus felt James's nails dig into his ribs as he softly stroked James's hair. They stayed like that for several minutes until James calmed down, if only a little.

Sirius moved closer to the bed but didn't sit down. "Jim, you know I had no intention of hurting you. That's the last thing I want." James lifted his face from Remus to glare at Sirius, only to catch sight of Harry standing against the doorframe. James quickly looked away.

"I don't even know why it bothers me so much," James muttered. "It's just a house."

"You have a really bad memory associated with that place," said Remus. "You lost something in a really bad way there."

"I know," James gasped. Feeling more tears come, he pressed against Remus once more. "I-I know."

"You've been carrying this around since you were sixteen," Remus went on. "It's a lot of pain to handle. The least little thing can just aggravate it." He waited for James to lie still again before going on. "I think, it might be time for ...Prongs... I think it's time we talked about ... about going into therapy now." James slowly pushed away from Remus to be able to look him in the eyes. Remus put his hand through James's hair. "It might be good for you, just to try it."

James looked away from him, his eyes again landing on Harry still by the door. He looked back at Remus &amp; said in a whisper so Harry couldn't hear. "Moony," James shook his head slightly. "Let's talk later. Harry's here."

"We know," Remus said, pulling James close again. "It's ok. Prongs, I really think you should try it."

"What good would it do?" James muttered.

"It could help."

"Ray, it's way too late for that," James went on.

"No it isn't," said Remus.

"It's too far in the past," James insisted. "I've already learned to deal with things."

/Dammit, why is he still resisting?/ Sirius slowly sat down on the bed.

/He's most likely scared to open up about it./ Remus answered. /He's right in that it has been a long time./

/I don't think we've seen the end of this, either./ Sirius went on. /If only we could find out exactly what Orion did./

/I certainly agree on that./ said Remus. /Jim's whole behaviour throughout those trials was off./

/I wish he would get help./

/Why do you think I brought Harry along? Jim's going into therapy one way or the other!/

Remus petted James for a few minutes, then called Harry over. Harry got on the bed as well, having Remus between himself &amp; his father. James sent Harry a short unconvincing smile. "Don't mind me," James said. "I'm just having a moment. Wouldn't be the first time Sirius brought me to tears."

Sirius almost said 'I resent that' but the link all but screamed at him to shut the hell up. "Dad, maybe it isn't Sirius doing that?" Harry began. "What if really, you're just lashing out &amp; using Sirius because you think he can handle it?"

"Harry, I always get into tiffs with Sirius," James said. "We get over it."

"But what if you're not really getting over it?" Harry went on. "Why else would you keep having fights like that? You might be using Sirius to unleash your frustrations on when really you should be talking to someone about it. Maybe that's why you're always fi—"

"Stop right there," James interrupted. "I recognise a practised speech when I hear it. Which one of you idiots coached him?"

"They didn't coach me," Harry said.

"Nice try," James didn't buy it. "Look, guys I'll be fine. It's just my Black temper that gets the better of me. No therapist can fix that."

A moment of silence fell about them as each was secretly fuming. Harry shifted on the bed to look over Remus's side. "Dad, they didn't tell me what to say. We came straight here after you. I've been standing there watching the three of you. I've read your old diary. I know you've lashed out Sirius before for no reason other than the fact that you were hurt by Orion! Do you really want to take the chance that any of us are wrong?"

"Harry just leave it—" James pressed both hands to his face, then upwards through his hair. "Leave it a-alone."

"Fine!" Harry got off the bed &amp; marched out the door.

Remus watched him leave, feeling rather put out. He was hoping Harry could do what he himself couldn't do. Then he realised what Harry had actually done &amp; latched onto it like a lifeline. "Great. Now you're pushing your son away. Am I going to be next? Jim, please just think about it."

James pushed himself up to a half-seated position, leaning back on his palms. He stared at the door, at the last place where Harry had been seen before he disappeared down the hall. "Harry?" He waited for an answer that never came. James lay back again, blinking back tears. "What would you have me do? How do you expect me to bring all that up again? It was years ago!"

"Some of it was, some of it was much more recent," Sirius said. "Jim, there's something else to. Remus thinks that maybe the Ministry will call off the arrest if you agree to counselling instead."

"There are things I can't say," James said.

There was a startled shock that went through the link. So James really was still hiding something. Remus recovered first &amp; put a hand on James's hair. "So don't say them. Maybe someday, you'll want to say them. Let's cross that bridge when we get to it."

"I—" James caught Remus's eye. He suddenly turned over, burying his face into the pillows, crying again.

"Ok, it's ok," Remus rubbed his back. "Take a breather." /We're right on the edge Sirius./

/I hope he caves./

Neither spoke to James again as they waited for him to relax. Remus continued to hold him, rubbing his back &amp; shoulders. James soon fell into a doze &amp; it was nearly half an hour later before he forced himself to get off the bed. He went to the door &amp; looked up &amp; down the hall, then made his way to the kitchen. Sirius &amp; Remus followed but at a distance. He found Harry at the table, working on the muggle crossword &amp; unlike James, Harry was finishing it easily. He put the paper aside as James sat down.

James hesitated before saying, "I feel like my hands are being tied."

Harry looked back at the pair standing by the wall. "That isn't what they're trying to do. They're just worried about you."

"It would actually be the opposite," Remus said. "You won't be arrested if you do this instead."

"Dad, why don't you try it just until Christmas?"

"Christmas?" James echoed.

"That sounds reasonable," said Remus. "It should be long enough to get the Ministry literally off your case as well."

"If you really don't like it by Christmas," Sirius began. "Then we'll never bring up the subject again. But please, just try it."

After a moment, James finally nodded. He noticed the instant relief on all three of them. "I'm not promising anything more."

"That's ok," said Remus.

"Would it help if I went with you the first few times?" Sirius asked, surprising everyone. "Well, I was there at the beginning. I witnessed some things Orion did."

"We would go together?" James asked, not sure if he heard right.

"Why not?" Sirius said. "Could be good for both of us really."

Not trusting his voice, James got up &amp; pulled Sirius into a hug.


	67. Chapter 67

**(67) Speak For Yourself**

Harry felt nothing but dread as the time came for his hearing. He &amp; Remus went to the Ministry Of Magic with Arthur Weasley on his way to work. It was Harry's first time inside the Ministry &amp; he managed to look around in spite of everything. They met James disguised as Sirius by the fountain &amp; for a moment, Harry forgot his troubles while he watched in amusement as Remus was trying to be intimate while not being intimate with James-Sirius, causing both to be rather flushed in their faces.

"Here," Remus finally put out a hand. "Just hold my hand. Try to act natural."

James-Sirius sighed as he gingerly took Remus by the hand. "If you two didn't canoodle so much in public, we wouldn't be in this predicament right now," he grumbled.

"Just stay close to me," Remus whispered out the corner of his mouth as they headed towards the elevator.

As the elevator began to clang its way down, James-Sirius muttered under breath. "Oh the hell with it." He leaned his head onto Remus's shoulder.

"You two cuddle up anyway," Harry pointed out.

"Yes but not as lovers," Remus said. "It's…just different. I have to remind myself that we're with Jim, not Sirius, right now." Harry fell silent, giving up.

Everything was going fine until they were joined by more people, some of whom cast a quick glance at the pair. James decided to put on a show &amp; petted Remus slowly by pushing his fingers through the werewolf's greying bangs. "You're looking handsome today." Remus turned scarlet &amp; it was all Harry could do to keep his face straight.

They were soon left alone when the elevator paused at another floor. Remus muttered, "Ok we're not that flirty in public!"

"Humpf!" Arthur disagreed under breath as Harry finally let out the laughter he has been holding.

"Really?" James pulled away from Remus. "I ought to film you two."

"Don't you dare!" Remus growled. James had the nerve to kiss Remus on the tip of his nose. Remus looked nothing short of affronted. James-Sirius merely smirked &amp; flipped the finger. Remus leaned forward to bite it but was interrupted.

"While you two were busy playing house," Arthur began. "I was informed that the trial was moved forward. We're going to be late if we don't move faster." At that he walked off the next floor, nearly at a run, as he led the group down the long hall.

Harry was soon feeling nervous again as he entered the courtroom. Arthur was not allowed to enter &amp; James-Sirius was nearly left at the door but Remus, who was the only one currently allowed in as Harry's guard, put his foot down on that one. A simple snarl got him his way. He led both Harry &amp; James inside.

The trial happened in a daze. Harry could hardly get a word in edgewise to defend himself; James nearly blew his cover more than once as he tried to say that he was there as well &amp; it was only when Dumbledore himself showed up that things seemed to turn in Harry's favor &amp; finally ended up being cleared of all charges.

"Let's go," Remus began pulling James-Sirius to the door. "Before you run out of polyjuice potion." Harry followed them down the hall, noticing Lucius Malfoy himself with Minister Fudge.

"Ray," James-Sirius began as the group marched passed. "I thought you were going to talk to him."

"Not here," Remus marched hurriedly to the elevators &amp; waited for it to be moving before going on. "They just tried Harry in front of the entire Wizengamot. Then Lucius with the Minister. I will talk to him," Remus put a hand on James-Sirius's shoulder. "But not today. Let me rethink this."

Harry barely had time to dump his money into the fountain before Remus suddenly went into panic mode. The polyjuice was wearing off. Remus grabbed James &amp; Harry to drag them to the door. The moment they were in the street, Remus pulled them away to the front of Sirius's house without thinking. Harry managed only half a step before he was sucked back into oblivion, only to land on the living room floor of James's London flat.

"Sorry," Remus said. "I forgot, you don't know where it is exactly."

"Which is fine by me," James turned away &amp; tossed himself on the couch.

"You're not safe here," Remus began.

"Oh I'm not staying here," said James. "I'm heading back home in a minute."

"Godric's Hollow?" Remus shook his head. "Dumbledore doesn't like that."

"My other house is perfectly safe," James replied stubbornly. "Do what you have to do with Harry. Take him back. I'll be at Platform 9 &amp; three quarters waiting."

"I don't want to go back to that house!" Harry declared.

"Oh don't you start!" Remus hissed at him.

"But—"

"NOT NOW HAROLD!" Remus growled long &amp; low. Harry folded his arms over his chest, glaring.

"You're going to school in a couple days anyway," James said. "Don't worry about it. Your friends are there, as are all your things ready for school."

"Fine," Harry gave up. "But I'm going home for Christmas!" He looked pointedly at James. "Not Sirius's place. Ours."

"Ok," James agreed, ignoring Remus who had started clicking at him. "I'll see you at the train."

Harry returned to the Black house without further complaint but it was clear that every single person (apart from Snape who showed no change) was mad at Sirius for the house. Harry made sure not to talk to him. Remus didn't share the same bedroom &amp; everyone was extra fussy over Hermione &amp; her bitten hand to add insult to injury. Sirius ended up spending most of his time alone with Buckbeak, avoiding everyone.

True to his word, James was waiting by the Hogwarts Express when it was time to return to Hogwarts for another year. It was one of the few times Sirius showed his face as he joined the group to see the students off. James pulled Harry aside while several Weasley children boarded.

"You're being talked about in the Daily Prophet," James began.

"I know," said Harry. "Remus showed me."

The whistle blew its five minute warning. James glanced down the rail road before going on. "It happened to me as well, back then. All of us really."

"Why?"

"By the time I reached my fifth year, there was talk about Voldemort being more than just a rebel. Talk of war. Others said it was ridiculous. But we were right in the end." James looked back at Harry. "Just sit tight. It'll blow over &amp; then they'll turn to you." He led Harry to the door.

Harry got on, then looked over the crowd. Sirius was standing nearby, watching them. Harry tried to tell James goodbye, but it came out as, "Good luck."

"I'll handle him," James muttered. "Just try to have some fun at school." The train jerked into motion, forcing Harry to close the door before he fell out.

Sirius &amp; James slowly moved towards each other as the train pulled out of the station. They watched it in silence until it was gone. Sirius cast a nervous glance over James. "Hi." James stood there, silently. Sirius tried again. "Good to see you again. I wish we could be connected to you better."

"I'm fine where I am."

"It's hard for the Order to talk to you though."

"Not my problem," James put his hands into the pockets of his long coat &amp; turned to leave.

"There you are," Remus came up to the pair. "I've managed a meeting with Fudge. He's agreed to drop your arrest in exchange for counselling. Your first one's next week."

"Great," James said in a voice that clearly meant he didn't care.

Remus inwardly groaned, hoping James wasn't thinking of skipping out. Fact was, no one apart from Harry seemed to know where James disappeared to. "I'll go with you &amp; wait for you both." When James didn't answer, Remus threatened. "If I can't find you, I'll get Harry to fetch you."

"I'll show up," was all James said as he walked through the wall to the other side. By the time Sirius &amp; Remus crossed the barrier, James had already apparated.

The Black house was suddenly a much quieter place without any of the students there. It added to the gloom that was already constantly there, making everyone even more cross with Sirius for using the place. Sirius avoided them outside of meetings.

Remus returned the evening before the first therapy session to find Sirius alone, sitting on those same stairs. Remus hesitated a moment, looking up to the space where a missing bar in the railing was, before finally sitting down next to Sirius.

"Haven't seen you much this week," Sirius retorted.

"I've been taking shifts with Tonks," Remus began. "I needed time to absorb this."

"Everyone acts like I don't care," Sirius went on. "Don't they know how much I hate this?"

"Yes, Padfoot," Remus said. "We all just need some time, most of all Jim."

"Jim," Sirius sighed. "I can't bare his hate for me."

"He doesn't hate you," Remus leaned next to Sirius's side. "Just give him some time."

A long moment of silence passed. "Do you think he'll show?" Sirius suddenly asked.

"Oh yes," Remus replied with an air of confidence. "I know that Harry knows where he is. I'll just get Harry if James is more than five minutes late."

Sirius managed a short laugh. "You devious little mutt."

"Don't you know it," Remus flicked up an eyebrow.

Sirius leaned back against the stair behind him. He pointed at the floor. "I stood right there when it happened. Couldn't move 'cause of Kreacher."

"I'd have gone insane if I was stuck seeing that," Remus stared down at the spot. "I wonder what Orion did to him those two years."

"We'll know by Christmas," Sirius said.

"You sound sure about that."

"If he quits therapy, I plan to get him really drunk or something. He'll tell us."

"Then when he's sober &amp; finds out what you did, he'll really hate you," Remus said.

Sirius sat straight. "Would Veritaserum wo—"

"No Sirius!" Remus exclaimed. "For Merlin's sake. Stop trying to force Jim into saying anything."

"Orion," Sirius said. "Not Jim. Would Veritaserum work on Orion? He's still alive, isn't he? No soul but still has life."

Remus closed his eyes with a groan. "Sirius, if you go back to that man, I'll personally hand feed you to the Dementors."

"Why not just bring them here?" Sirius shot back.

"Sirius!"

"I feel like I'm back in Azkaban, being stuck here!" Sirius went on. "Might as well add the Dementors to this place. They'd love it." He put his face into his hands. "I hate this place! So much."

Remus put his hands onto Sirius's shoulders. "Come on. It has good spells for hiding the Order. We really don't have anything else. Other places are either too small, too far out of the way or in Godric's Hollow." He pulled Sirius into his arms. "It was quick thinking."

"Too quick," Sirius muttered. "Jim got pushed aside. How could I have let that happen? He must hate me."

"Nah," Remus shook his head. "Just boiling mad at you. It's the Black temper."

Sirius sighed heavily &amp; pulled away from Remus. "Well I know he doesn't love me either, in any way at all. We had a few tiffs during our affair. He would be the one to try making up first. Now, he doesn't even look at me."

"What did you guys fight about?" Remus asked, looking slightly amused.

Sirius gave him a dark look. "Nothing much. Just stupid lovers stuff, just like you &amp; I."

"Oohhh we've had a few doozies," Remus grinned. "Did you &amp; Jim ever top any of our fights?"

"Well, when he tried to kill himself," Sirius said. "I got so mad at him."

"That is understandable," Remus said quietly.

"I nearly killed him myself for that," Sirius said. "I told him to never try that again. Oh I wanted to wring his neck! Not long after that, I found out he changed from suicide to cutting. We had a bit of fight over that, to."

Remus looked down at the floor again. "Perhaps you should wait for the councillor tomorrow."

"I'm fine," Sirius shrugged. "I doubt stuff like that will come out tomorrow." He gingerly stood up after sitting so long on the stairs. "I just wish ..." He glanced around. "I hate this house, Remus."

"I know," Remus reached for Sirius's hand &amp; led him upstairs.

Sirius suddenly laughed softly. "There was one time we had a small fight, he broke the bed under me &amp; I got hit with a bar."

"Broke the bed under you huh?" Remus snickered.

"Mhm," Sirius nodded, then realized how it must have sounded to Remus. "No NO! Not like that! He was Prongs at the time &amp; tried to jump on the bed. Snapped the whole thing &amp; I got hit. I yelled at him for that. Stupid stag."

"Sirius," Remus put a hand on his face, toying with some long black bangs with one finger. "Would you relax already?" He looked down the hall. "Which one's your childhood room anyway? I've never seen it."

"Oh this one," Sirius jerked his thumb sideways to a closed door.

Remus opened it &amp; entered. "Yeah, I can believe that." He burst out laughing.

Sirius walked in, suddenly horrifically reminded of all the pictures of muggle women in skimpy bikinis (or less) plastered all over his walls. "I ... umm..."

"I can see why your parents hated you," Remus laughed harder after he tried to peel the corner of one off, only to find out it was permanently stuck there. "You really were the whore of Hogwarts, weren't you?"

"Shut up Ray," Sirius leaned against one wall, arms folded (not realising his left elbow was rubbing against a nipple of one of the naked girl pictures).

Remus giggled like a little school girl. "Oh this is right up there with Jim's condoms."

"What?" Sirius snarled. Remus pointed at the spot where Sirius was leaning against the boob. "AHH!" Sirius yelped, pulling quickly away. He glared at Remus who was currently lying down on his bed, slightly propping himself up on his hands. "Get off that!" Sirius complained. His old bed covers were by Playboy. Remus crossed his ankles right over the girl's naked crotch, smiling slyly up at him. "Hmm, this is exactly why people hate werewolves," Sirius groaned.

"I'm actually finding this to be a bit of a turn on," Remus purred slyly.

"Of course you would," Sirius muttered. "There's a bit of nudity h—you're turned on by naked girls?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Please, there are a couple of naked guys too."

Sirius glanced around in confusion. "Not that I remember." He looked back at Remus, who let his eyes roam down over Sirius's body. "Oh." He moved forward a few steps. "Wait, not here."

"Why not?" Remus winked.

"No I have another room I've been using."

"But isn't this YOUR room?" Remus went on. "We've never had sex in your room before. It was always mine."

"I would never have brought you here with my father around," Sirius said.

"But he isn't around anymore," Remus lay back, letting his shirt fall open, exposing his scarred chest. He patted the pillow beside him. "Come here."

"I hate you."

"Come prove it to me."

Sirius stood next to the bed &amp; pulled back the covers on his side. "Ugh!" He groaned. The sheets were also part of the Playboy set &amp; it had two girls on it, nearly lying in a 6-9.

Remus looked down at the girl's exposed crotch, much to Sirius's horror. "Man you were one sick little piggy back then, weren't you?"

"Hey I did this to piss my parents off," Sirius defended. As if he couldn't be more horrified than before, he watched as Remus passed his hand over the sheet (taking care to "caress" the girls on his way by), slipping towards Sirius.

Remus sat up, dragging his hand up Sirius's front &amp; began undoing the buttons to his shirt. "When did you first realised you liked guys?"

"Oh that was unexpected," Sirius said. "I never considered them, until I saw you. Did you ever think about girls?"

"Lily from day one," Remus replied unashamedly as he worked on Sirius's belt. "When we were being Sorted, Moony marked her as a potential mate but I held him back. I didn't want him to mate with anyone. I was kind of glad Jim picked her to &amp; just stepped aside to let that happen. Then you showed up." Remus let the pants fall, then moved back a bit to allow Sirius some room to lie down.

Remus got up to finish getting undressed, then pulled back the blanket to get in bed. Sirius put a hand on Remus's cheek. "This really was mostly to anger my family. I did this when I was fifteen. I was in love with you since a year before."

"I know Padfoot," Remus laughed at him. He put a hand over the dog, sleeping on Sirius's shoulder. He slowly moved that hand downward, slightly dragging his nails along the smooth inked flesh. "It was a long road to find each other."

"Mhmmm!" Sirius gasped, arching his back when Remus had reached his cock &amp; begin softly stroking with his nails. "I'm glad we found each other."

"So am I." Remus shifted to sit over Sirius. He was rewarded with a hard thrust against him. A short moan escapes his lips before he leaned down, kissing Sirius hard on the mouth before slowly working his way downward.

Sirius clasped Remus's hands &amp; held them down by his hips as he thrusted upward into Remus's mouth. Remus took his time, bringing Sirius so close before pulling away. Ignoring Sirius's grumble of complaint, he moved up again, kissing Sirius again before lying over him. Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus, pulling him closer while the werewolf pressed into him. They moved slowly against each other as Remus worked his way inside.

Sirius held Remus tightly, lying back across the bed to allow full access. Remus suckled Sirius on the side of his neck, clamping down hard as they finished. He lay back against the pillows, letting Sirius move to lie against his chest. Both lay in each other's arms silently for several minutes, slowly falling asleep.

Remus's eyes suddenly opened. He had heard a floor board creak.

"Mr. Lupin?"

Remus jumped at Sirius's quick movement of sitting up straight but before he or Sirius could do anything else, the door clicked open. "WAIT!" Remus yelped.

None other than Snape stood there. The three of them had no clue where to put their eyes. It was Snape who recovered first. Resolutely staring at the opposite wall he spoke to Sirius, "Dumbledore has asked me to find out why you are late for your shift, Lupin. I see I have no choice but to tell him that you were playing with your little pet."

Remus growled. "I am not a pet!"

"Get the fuck out of my room Snivelus!"

Snape backed out &amp; turned to look down the stairs. "This building is public for the Order, not just yours anymore. Might I suggest a locksmith charm next time?" At that he swept away.

Remus banged his forehead onto Sirius's chest. "Why didn't you tell me you had a shift tonight you bloody idiot?"

"I forgot!" Sirius defended. "I had more important things on my mind." He got up to get dressed. "Come on! I'm late."

Remus was still in shock. "I CAN'T GO DOWN THERE! I can never look at Severus again!"

"I'll use a memory charm if he hasn't done so already," Sirius said, buttoning up his shirt. "Will you move? I'm not going down there by myself!"

With another growl, Remus flipped open the bedcovers &amp; slithered out. "I hate everybody!"

"Now you sound like Jim," Sirius teased.

"I call dibs on the first therapy session," Remus complained as they slowly dragged themselves to the stairs.

They found themselves in the living room sooner than later. Snape turned to them, cast them a false sneering smile (ignoring Remus growling at him) &amp; said, "If the both of you are too busy, Tonks has agreed to take your shift. You can go back to—"

"FINISH THAT SENTENCE, I'LL EAT YOU!" Remus bellowed at him, face redder than a beet.

Snape walked by, pausing to look at Remus. "No," He said slowly. "You are ...not my type, shall we say?" Remus gaped at him but Snape ignored it by turning to Sirius. "By the way ... might I suggest using a scarf or some such cover up?"

"Why?" Sirius snarled through gritted teeth.

Snape silently conjured a mirror-like item in the air. It looked like it was misted around the edges with real floating fog. Snape handed it to Sirius. "No idea."

Sirius glared some more, then took the glass. A rather obvious large hickey was on the side of his neck. Remus growled under breath, louder than before. Sirius vanished the glass. "I'm married. Every one knows that."

"It was merely a suggestion," Snape turned away, nonplussed, &amp; left.

"Why I ought to ..." Remus made as if to follow.

"Leave him," Sirius pulled him back. "It isn't worth it. I've got to go."

"I'll come with you," Remus muttered.

"No you should sleep. Full moon's coming up soon."

"I want to be with you," Remus replied stubbornly.

Sirius pulled Remus into his arms, kissing him. "Ok, but you sleep while I keep watch." Face still red, Remus nodded &amp; allowed Sirius to lead the way.

Sirius had pulled a throw from the couch on his way by &amp; he made a make shift bed on the floor near the door the Order had taken turns guarding. Remus lay down, having every intention of staying awake with Sirius but he passed out within an hour. Sirius covered him with his coat &amp; sat on the chair, watching over him.

It was late morning when Remus woke up. He stood up slowly, feeling stiff from being on the hard floor. Tonks was just walking down the hall to take over for Sirius. "You both came down here?" She asked, casting a quick smile at Remus.

"I was dragged here against my will," Remus said, ignoring Sirius's glare. "Why are you here? This is the fourth shift in a row for you."

"I know," Tonks sighed, looking tired. "But Kingsley had other business, so I took his shift."

"You just can't say no," said Remus.

"Yes I can," Tonks poked Remus on his chest with her nail.

"I'll believe it when I see it," said Remus.

"Whatever," Tonks scowled. "Anyway, James is waiting by the fountain for you."

"Jim? OH!" Remus shared a glance with Sirius. "First session should be starting soon."

"We better go," Sirius headed down the hall.

"Thanks," Remus smiled at Tonks. "Nymphadora." At that he ran for Sirius's side before she could hex him.

"I hate werewolves!" Tonks shot back at him. She heard him laugh in the distance.

"You &amp; Tonks seem to get along quite nicely," Sirius began as they entered the front doors of the Ministry together &amp; walked towards the great fountain.

"What do you mean by that?" Remus asked.

"Nothing," Sirius snickered.

"Humpf!" Remus scoffed. "Hi Jim."

James stood up from the bench by the fountain. "I told you I'd show."

"I'm glad you did," Remus took James by both hands. "It'll be fine. I have to go. Will it be ok to leave you two alone?" He glanced at Sirius.

"Why wouldn't it be?" James muttered.

"Ok," Remus sighed heavily &amp; reluctantly began to move away.

"We'll finish our conversation later," Sirius purred after him. Remus looked back to give him a rude sign, then turned &amp; promptly knocked a startled witch to the ground.

"What were you two talking about?" James asked as he watched Remus fluster over the poor girl in amusement.

"Never you mind," Sirius said. "Come with me. I know where he is."

"Whatever," James grumbled under breath.

Sirius looked at him. "Jim, at least pretend you're trying it. If not for you, then for Harry perhaps. He wants you to do this to."

"He's the only reason I'm here," James said lightly. His eye caught something on Sirius's neck. "Hmm you've been kept busy last night, I see. I heard Snivelus walked in on you." He burst out laughing.

Sirius glared at him. "Oh fuck you."

James only laughed harder as he walked away. "You did…a few times."

"You enjoyed every last one of those times," Sirius countered with a smirk.

"How would you know?" James began. "I might have faked a few."

"Guys don't fake, Jim," Sirius huffed. "Only women. They always fake."

"Lily never did with me," James replied smugly. "Harry's proof of that."

Sirius mentally gagged at the image as he glared. "She probably did some times, but guys wouldn't notice."

"Then how do you know they fake in the first place?"

Sirius was caught in circular reasoning so he could only come up with a lame reply which ended up hanging him ever higher. "Shut up or I'll strangle you."

"Nah sorry," James waved Sirius away. "I'm not half as kinky as Remus. Can't even imagine stuff you two get up to."

Sirius didn't miss the emphasis on the phrase 'get up'. "Jim, don't scare away the doctor please."

"You're the one who keeps offering opportunities," James teased. They walked in silence for a few minutes before James went on with a loud snort. "Man that is one massive hickey." Sirius could only glare at him until they reached the door.

Sirius flipped his collar up &amp; entered the room first. James meandered in as if he happened to wander by on accident &amp; dropped into the center of the larger couch. Sirius stood beside the arm of the couch &amp; glanced around. There was a man standing by the window looking out. After a moment longer, he turned away &amp; moved to his chair behind the desk &amp; sat down.

Both James &amp; Sirius were caught off guard. The man seemed to be young, perhaps around his mid to late twenties. He had black hair cut short &amp; soft eyes.

"Well do sit down," He looked pointedly at Sirius. "I'm Dr. Jason Canes. I was told James Potter was supposed to come in today." James lazily raised his hand for a moment, indicating his position while Sirius finally sat beside him.

"I told Jim I'd sit in with him the first few times," Sirius explained. "I may have a few things to work out over this, so I might as well."

Dr. Canes fell silent for a moment, considering both his subjects. "Very well. I'm not your usual type of therapist. My methods are unorthodox but I find they work better."

"May I ask a question?" Sirius started.

Canes smiled at him. "You just did." James actually laughed before he caught himself. He quickly went back to his sour puss persona.

Sirius stammered before going on. "Erm you seem ...uh…a bit …"

"Young?" Canes finished for him. "I get that sometimes. I've been doing this longer than most therapists though. Started young &amp; both my parents were in the business to."

Sirius sighed &amp; said softly under breath, "I just want the best for Jim."

Dr. Canes looked the pair over. "You care for Jim deeply. You have known him your whole life. You are also family." Sirius nodded silently. "I have been given both of your medical records. Jim, you are my fifth rape patient, but first for being male. Sirius, you spent twelve years in Azkaban, yet only coming to a therapy session now? I find that odd."

Sirius looked up in surprise. Dr. Canes was standing in front of his desk, leaning back against it, waiting. "Um I didn't think of it." For some reason, Sirius suddenly felt guilty under Canes' gaze. "Well ok I did a little. But Remus took care of me &amp; I had more important things to do, like go after Orion."

"Putting others before yourself is a good quality to have, up to a point," Canes replied. "But there are times one must look after themselves as well."

"Getting rid of Orion was the best thing," Sirius said.

Canes looked at James who had remained quiet. "Yet you are both here."

Neither James or Sirius could answer that &amp; somehow, both felt guilty as if they were young kids being scolded by parents. Canes seemed to get right to the point yet somehow making them feel it was their idea.

"You used Orion as a door to shut out your experience with Dementors," Canes went on. Sirius stared at him, meeting his gaze. Canes somehow seemed to look right through him.

"Well, I don't know," Sirius shrugged. "Didn't think of it like that. So are we going to have to do separate sessions with me &amp; my Azkaban woes?" He ended up being a little snippety in the end.

Canes only half-smiled at him. "No. I'm actually impressed."

"What?" Sirius asked, caught off-guard.

"Focusing your mind on something else after that &amp; dedicating your whole being to it," Canes said. "You somehow managed to move on by doing that."

"Really?" Sirius deflated. He had been ready to buck.

"Yep," Canes nodded. "You seem to be doing well enough."

"So we don't have to talk about it?"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Sirius glared at him. He heard James snicker &amp; shot him a dark look as well. "I can talk to Remus about that. Aren't we here for Jim?"

"Sometimes, simply being here is all that is needed," Canes said. "Jim isn't the one talking right now. You are."

Sirius just stared as James burst out laughing. "He's right you know."

"Shut up Jim."

Canes joined James in laughing. Sirius had a 'oh my God what just happened?' look on his face as the other two laughed at him. When the pair finally calmed down, Canes asked, "So who's this Remus you keep mentioning?"

Sirius held up his left hand, twisting his own wedding band, a gold ring with 5 diamonds across the top. "My husband. We've been together since we were 17."

"School sweethearts?"

"Yeah, something like that," Sirius said.

Canes tilted his face a little, studying Sirius. "That didn't sound good."

"What?" Sirius gaped at him. James made a low noise &amp; kept his eyes on the floor. "What are you talking about? Remus is the love of my life!"

"Yes," Canes agreed. "Now. But back then?"

"Even then," Sirius declared. "We've known each other since we started Hogwarts. I guess we were always together. I mean, of course we had our ups &amp; downs. Who doesn't?" He shut up, realizing he was babbling &amp; had let out more than he had intended. The ups &amp; downs he &amp; Remus shared were not the usual normal ones but he had no intention of bring that up ever again.

"Things happen," Canes said.

"I happened," James said. Then he mentally kicked himself. He had just blurted that right out. How the hell did Canes do it? Standing there, innocent-looking. Letting them dig their own holes.

"Well, yeah," Sirius agreed. "That was during our 6th year at Hogwarts. It was unexpected but I took care of Jim all year."

Canes glanced between them a few times. "You two were an item for a bit?"

James shrugged. "Just for a year. We don't regret it if that's what you're going for."

"Never will," Sirius agreed.

"I'm not the one going anywhere," Canes said. "Mind if I ask what started your affair?" Sirius &amp; James quickly glanced at each other. Just like that, Canes had managed to bring them to the whole point of their visit. Both James &amp; Sirius had secretly hoped to avoid the issue but they were stuck now.

It took a few minutes, as both James &amp; Sirius stammered for words, but they both finally settled on one word to explain all. "Orion."

Canes waited in silence, still leaning against the desk. He wasn't going to push them.

"Are you a pureblood?" Sirius asked. Canes merely nodded. "Then you know about the pre-arranged marriage traditions." At another nod, Sirius went on. "Well I skipped mine."

"Ohhh," Canes let out a soft whistle.

"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "Breaking magical binds like that was a mess I left for my father. But I was already moping over Remus for a couple of years. I didn't want some pureblooded girl. Remus is the epitome of everything my father hates. Impure, lower financial class, Gryffindor, male ... &amp; more. What's not to love?" Sirius smiled to himself before going on. "Orion &amp; I had a huge fight. He took his anger out on Jim while I was stuck watching."

Canes stood straight. "What are you saying? You witnessed the rape?"

"Yeah," Sirius said. "I couldn't do anything 'cause Orion ordered his house elf to hold me down."

Canes moved to his chair behind the desk &amp; sat down. "Well ... that's never happened before. You surprised me. I was originally under the impression you were just here as support for Jim, yet you're the one doing most of the talking. To see something like that, yet unable to do anything ...that is a lot to carry around."

"You're right," Sirius said. "I'm sorry. We're here for Jim, not me."

"You're as much a part of this as Jim is," said Canes. "He can jump in at any time."

"Yeah James," Sirius looked at him. "Jump in already." James gave him the finger &amp; remained resolutely silent.

"I'll talk to Jim when he talks to me," Canes said. "Perhaps next time."

"I'm surprised you didn't know I was there," Sirius went on. "That's public knowledge that came out in the trials Orion Black."

"I do not have the trials of Orion Black," said Canes. "I was only given your medicals. Both are current; though, some of your school medical history is found near the end. You both hold hatred for the Ministry due to the events of Azkaban, but especially James. I know about the warped magical powers James has. Also," Canes got up &amp; headed to the couch. He took up James's left hand. "These are in your records. The cutting as well as the crucifixion." James looked away. Canes released his grip &amp; strode back to his desk. "All this I know from reading your medical records. I was not here during the trials. I'm from Australia, recently transferred here. So the rest of it, we will work together." Canes wrote something down, then handed the paper over to Sirius. "One day at a time."

Sirius took the paper. It had the time for the next session written on it. Sirius was the first one out of the office. James finally spoke as they reached the fountain again. "I like him."

"Really?" Sirius droned out. "There's just something …something..."

"Makes you want to lash out irrationally?" James teased. "They way you two got on, I was quite amused."

"Good," Sirius muttered. "Means you'll come back. But do try to remember these sessions are for you, not me. Speak up next time would you?"

"My only requirement to not getting arrested is to show up," James pointed out. "I don't have to do anything else. So I might as well be amused to pass the time."

"Whatever."

* * *

_(Totally based Dr. Canes off Dr. Sweets from Bones. In fact, I used 'canes' as for cane sugar, something sweet. I'm still quite mad over the ending of season 9 of Bones. ARGH! Ok moving on … )_


End file.
